The Starr Chronicles
by L1701E
Summary: Chapter 113 up! The Brotherhood take in two twin mutant brothers and hijinks ensue! Next: A quiet day at the Institute...if you can call it that. RR PLEASE! Suggestions needed badly!
1. Two New Friends!

**The Starr Chronicles**

**Hello folks! L1701E here! This is a departure from the fics I normally do. You see, this fic features the Starr Brothers, but in the normal Evo-verse. This is my interpretation of how things may go if they appeared in the normal Evo-verse. Enjoy!**

**Author's Note: This is set after "Hex Factor" and before "Day of Reckoning".**

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Marvel Comics and other people. The Starrs are mine.**

Chapter 1: Two New Friends!

**The Brotherhood Boarding House**

"_WAAAAAHHHH OWWW!!!_" A male voice screamed as he crashed through a wall, landing on the front lawn. The voice belonged to a toad-like boy with long dirty blonde hair. His name was Todd Tolensky, and he was known as Toad because of his mutation, which gave him incredible jumping ability, a long tongue, and increased agility and reflexes. "Love hurts…" A girl with short black hair and in red gothic makeup, clad in a red sleeveless shirt and black leather pants stood inside the house, looking at Todd through the wall with a sneer.

"Maybe _that_ will teach you to leave me alone!" Wanda Maximoff snapped. She was known as the Scarlet Witch because of her mutant power to alter probabilities.

"But Snukums, what about the times I tell you where Pietro hides? That must mean something!" Todd whined as he got to his feet.

"It only means that you finally found yourself a use around here." Wanda grumbled. Todd sighed and drooped his head.

"Um…hello?" A new voice said. Wanda and Todd looked up to see something they'd thought they'd never see: A teenage boy who looked ripped right out of the 1980s. He had long wild black hair that was a little like a lion's mane. He wore an old black Kiss t-shirt tucked into a pair of purple acid-washed jeans with a couple black studded belts around it. Over that, he had a purple denim overcoat like Jon Bon Jovi wore. His hands were covered in a pair of black biker gloves with fringe on them, and his wrists were covered by many bracelets, some studded, and some brightly colored and wildly patterned. His ears were decorated by a pair of silver earrings, each of a five-pointed star. Around his neck was two thin gold chains, one had a small cross pendant, the other had a purple five-pointed star. He had cheerful chocolate brown eyes, and an unusual mark over his face: What appeared to be a purple tattoo of a five-pointed star over his right eye, making him resemble Paul Stanley of Kiss a little bit. His feet were covered by a pair of white zebra-print Converse shoes. He had on a backpack, a duffel bag over one shoulder, and he carried a guitar case in one hand.

"Is that Bon Jovi?" Todd blinked.

"Did we get knocked back into 1985?" Wanda blinked.

"Hi, uhm…My name is Paul, and I'm looking for somewhere to stay. Me and my brother." The 80s dressing boy blinked.

"Brother?" Wanda asked.

"Hey Paul, where are you?! There you are!" Another boy snapped. He looked exactly like Paul, only he had a bit of a menacing aura, and his star birthmark was black. He was clad in a Metallica t-shirt, blue jeans, black sneakers, and a black leather jacket with studs on the shoulders. He was carrying his own backpack, duffle bag, and another guitar case.

"Hey Craig. This is my brother Craig." Paul said to Todd and Wanda. Craig sensed Wanda staring at him.

"What are you looking at you…" Craig turned around and saw Wanda. For a moment, the two locked eyes. Paul noticed it and held back the urge to snicker.

_Craig, you okay?_ Paul asked Craig telepathically.

_Whoa…_Craig seemed to be a bit spellbound by Wanda. However, after a second, he quickly shrugged it off. _Paul, get out of my mind!_

_Sorry! Sheesh._ Paul telepathically rolled his eyes, then cut off their link. The conversation happened in a mere fraction of a second. Paul and Craig had the ability to communicate telepathically with each other, among their other mutant abilities.

"Uhm…" Wanda quickly shook her head. "I'm Wanda, and the frog is Toad."

"My real name is Todd, but everyone calls me Toad." Todd blinked. "Where are you guys from."

"Los Angeles." Both brothers replied in unison.

"_Los Angeles__?!_" Todd exclaimed. "That's all the way in California! How'd you get all the way cross-country to Bayville, New York?!?!"

"It's quite a story." Paul laughed.

"We hitch-hiked." Craig replied simply. "Are we allowed to stay here or not?!"

"Yeah, we got room." Wanda blinked. Paul and Craig walked into the house.

"Thank you." Paul smiled at Wanda. Wanda shrugged.

"It's alright, I guess. How long will you be staying?"

"I have no idea." Paul laughed. "We're here to find somewhere we can call home."

"With the way you look, good luck!" Todd laughed as he re-entered the house through the hole that was shaped like him.

"Uhm, yeah." Wanda blinked. "Upstairs." Wanda accompanied Paul and Craig upstairs. "You guys want separate rooms?"

"That'd be preferable." Craig said simply as he and Paul followed Wanda. He noticed Paul grinning at him. _What are you grinning at?_

_I saw the way you're looking at her, bro._ Paul mentally grinned. _You're looking at her like she was the most beautiful thing on Earth._

_Bah! I was not!_ Craig snapped back. _You're losing your mind! It's bad enough you have no fashion sense, now you think you're that guy on that old dating game show!_

_Chuck Woolery._ Paul answered.

_Oh shut up, you retro dolt!_ Craig snapped.

"There you go." Wanda opened up two rooms.

"Thank you, Miss…" Paul thanked.

"Maximoff." Wanda said simply. "Lance, Fred and Pietro will be back soon. I'm sure you'll meet them."

"Sound like nice folks. Can't wait." Paul grinned. Wanda walked off.

_They're mutants. Like us._ Craig said.

_What makes you so sure?_

_That Toad guy did look a little strange. Frog-like._

_So?__ I don't get it._ Paul responded.

_They may be working for that Magneto guy. Remember, he tried to recruit us back in LA._

_We turned him down. I don't want to hurt innocent people…_Paul said. "Oops!" A picture fell out of his pocket. It was of three kids: An 8-year-old Paul, complete with star tattoo and 80s clothes, a reddish-blond boy clad in an orange t-shirt and jeans who was around 9 or 10, and an 8-year-old girl wearing a green shirt and shorts. She had brown eyes and short brown hair. _I wish I knew where my old friends went…John…Jennifer…I miss them._ Paul sighed as he picked up the photograph, looked at it, then put it back in his pocket. Meanwhile, outside, Principal Robert Kelly was getting attacked by a few wild Rottweilers.

"AAAGH!!! HELP ME!!!"

Well, looks like the Brotherhood House is going to have a couple boarders? What insanity will happen next? How will Lance, Fred, and Pietro react to Paul and Craig? Will Kelly get attacked by dogs again? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	2. Brotherhood, meet the Starr Brothers!

**The Starr Chronicles**

_To Raliena: Yeah, I would not be surprised if Pietro tried to throw the Starr Brothers out. I'm glad you liked the chapter. Yeah, that's a popular request for me to do a fic that covered the time the Starr Brothers first joined the Misfits. Why do the Starrs want to crash at the Brotherhood House? Well, they hitchhiked a long way, and the House was probably the first place they came up to where they noticed people were inside. Hope you like the new chapter!_

_To Emily Crane: Hello to another Misfit fan! I'm glad you like this story and I hope you become one of my regular reviewers. I do ask for suggestions, so I'm not offended by yours. Maybe after this is all done, I will do a fic that explains how the Starr Brothers joined the Misfits. I have hinted at their origins in past fics, so maybe I will do one for you. I hope you like this new chapter!_

_To Red Witch: Well, I'm glad you liked the last chapter! I read the new chapter of "This Soap Opera Called Life" and I liked it! Good thing Kyle wasn't with the X-Men when they went to the sewers. He would've **dragged** them topside by electrical chains, regardless of what they thought. I'm glad you liked the Kelly Torture and I hope to put more in. Do Cocker Spaniels really maul people when rabid? I don't know. Anyway, enjoy the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "There was a fish…in the percolator…" - Some guy on ****Twin Peaks**

Chapter 2: Brotherhood, meet the Starr Brothers!

**The Brotherhood House**

Wanda sat on the couch of the Brotherhood House, watching TV. Todd sat on the armchair.

"So Cuddlebumps, what do you think of those twin brothers?" Todd asked.

"Don't call me Cuddlebumps. And they seem alright." Wanda replied. "I hope neither of them use any cheap pick-up lines on me." Todd opened his mouth, but a glare from Wanda shut it before any sound came out." Craig walked down the stairs. He eyed the armchair. He walked towards it.

"I want to sit down." Craig said simply.

"There's another chair." Toad said. "Hey!" Craig grabbed him and ripped the toad-like teen off the chair. He then threw him unceremoniously onto the floor, causing Todd to grunt a little, and Craig sat down on the chair. Todd got up, rubbing his butt.

"Jerk." Todd spat. "I'm going upstairs, yo. Your brother's better to be around for my health." Todd started growling and grumbling as he walked up the stairs.

"Thanks. He was annoying." Wanda thanked. Craig's cheeks reddened a little bit.

"Yeah, sure." Craig looked at the TV. "This show is lame."

"I like this show." Wanda said.

"I'm changing the channel." Craig searched for the remote.

"I…like…this…show…" Wanda warned with a hiss. Craig rose to his feet and crossed his arms. His face formed a sneer.

"You do _not_ want to mess with me, girl." Craig growled. Wanda angrily rose to her feet, and some objects started to rise into the air.

"I'm so impressed." Craig clapped his hands in a sarcastic manner. "You want to use powers? Fine." Craig's right eye glowed a dark purple. Wanda looked surprised.

"So you _are_ a mutant." Wanda said.

"Me and my brother have the same powers." Craig replied. "What about you?" Wanda stayed silent for a second, wondering if she should power down. After a moment, she decided to do just that.

"Probability alteration." Wanda replied. "I can cause things to screw up."

"Eye laser and hypnotic powers." Craig described his powers. "I also can talk to my brother telepathically."

"I would _not_ want that power. My brother is a vain, self-centered idiot and a jerk. I bet he even _dreams_ about himself." Wanda groaned.

"My brother is a dreamer." Craig grumbled. "Half the time, he has no idea what's going on. The rest of the time…his head is in the clouds."

"He _is_ nice, though." Wanda admitted. "A lot better than Pietro. I'd rather have Paul as a brother than him." Singing was heard from outside the house. "Oh, speak of the devils."

"_Rockin__' all night!__ Rockin' all night until the lightning strikes again…_" A brown-mulleted boy clad in a black t-shirt with torn blue jeans and a brown cowboy jacket sang alongside a large boy with a blond Mohawk, clad in a gray t-shirt, gray slacks, and a sleeveless denim jacket. The mulleted boy was named Lance Alvers, but he was called Avalanche because of his mutant power to create earthquakes and the large boy was born Fred J. Dukes, but he was known as the Blob because of his mutant girth, which gave him superhuman strength, invulnerability, and when still, the ability to increase the gravity around him so he could not be moved. Accompanying them was a handsome silver-haired boy clad in a dark blue sweater and jeans. He was Pietro Maximoff, but when he used his mutant power of superhuman speed, he became Quicksilver. Wanda was his fraternal twin sister. Fred and Lance were happily carrying grocery bags. The scowling Pietro followed them.

"I can't believe you morons didn't get the stuff I wanted!" Pietro grumbled.

"We need to eat, Pietro." Lance groaned. "We can't eat beauty products!"

"Jessica Simpson's are edible!"

"Yeah right!" Fred laughed. "Not even _she_ is _that_ stupid. You can't eat beauty products…" Fred trailed off when the three boys noticed Craig.

"What are you three stooges staring at?" Craig growled.

"Guys, this is Craig Starr. He and his brother Paul are staying here for a couple days. Craig, that's Lance, the big guy's Fred, and the whiny ambiguous silver-haired brat is Pietro." Wanda introduced.

"You and you, I don't think we should have any problems." Craig pointed at Lance and Fred. "You…" He pointed at Pietro. "I'm going to pound you later." _Incredible! That white-haired freak looks a little like Magneto! What's going on here?!_ Pietro scowled.

"Buddy, we don't take boarders." Pietro said. "I am the leader of the Brotherhood of Mutants, and…"

"My brother and I are mutants, pal." Craig said with a growl, his right eye glowing purple.

"Well, if you want to stay here, you'll have to join." Pietro said. Craig pulled out a nightstick from his jacket.

"Could you please repeat that?" Craig smirked, holding up Pietro's chin with the nightstick. The silver-haired speedster gulped and laughed nervously.

"Uhh heh heh…" Pietro laughed nervously. "Maybe we got off on the wrong foot."

"Hey, what's going on?" Paul descended down the stairs, Toad behind him. Lance, Fred, and Pietro's eyes widened at Paul's wardrobe.

"Take it away! Take it away! Bad 80s flashback! AAAAGH!!!" Pietro screamed as he ran away.

"Lance…is that Bon Jovi?" Fred blinked.

**Bayville High Football Field**

"Man, that was an awesome practice." Duncan Matthews grinned as he left the field. Suddenly, a bunch of rabid Rottweilers leapt out of nowhere and started mauling the star football player. "AAAGH!!! HELP ME!!! WHERE DID THESE DOGS COME FROM?!?!?! HELP ME!!! OWWWW!!!!! I WANT MY MAMA!!!!"

Well, looks like the Brotherhood met the Starr Brothers! What insanity will happen next? How will the Brotherhood react to Paul and Craig Starr? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	3. Brotherhood Bonding!

**The Starr Chronicles!**

_To Red Witch: Yeah, it's a running gag. I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Will the X-Girls take up the hobby of Starr-gazing? I'm working on that. Anyway, enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Raliena: Well, Craig's the type of person who answers to no one. I'm a bit of a classic rock fan myself. I have a CD of Queen's greatest hits myself. They did some great songs plus they are fellow Englishmen (I'm half-English). Since you are such a big Queen fan, I have some special true facts for you about them: Queen's late lead singer, Freddie Mercury, was born Farookh Bulsara, and he was born in __Africa__! Bet you didn't know that, huh? Anyway, I'm glad you liked the last chapter as well as the characters of Paul and Craig. You should try listening to some Kiss! I hope you like the new chapter! _

_To Aaron: I'm glad you liked the Wanda/Craig interaction. I think Wanda's glad there's someone more like her in the house. And I could imagine the fashion-conscious Pietro freaking out over Paul's retro style. You could see the Starr Brothers in Evo, huh? I'm glad you liked the chapter and I hope you like this new one!_

**Disclaimer: "I am the King of Harts!" - Owen Hart**

Chapter 3: Brotherhood Bonding!

**The Brotherhood House**

"So you're going to be living with us for a while, huh?" Lance asked Paul. The members of the Brotherhood all sat around in the living room, getting to know their two new housemates.

"Yup." Paul smiled.

"Oh God, those clothes…those _clothes_…" Pietro moaned, gawking at Paul's wardrobe. "Your parents let you walk the street looking like _that?_ In _public?_"

"It's a free country, Pietro." Todd rolled his eyes. "There's no fashion police."

"There ought to be with _him_ around." Pietro grumbled, pointing at Paul with his thumb.

"My philosophy on fashion is just to wear what you feel good in." Paul grinned. "Make your own trend based on yourself and the things you like. I love rock 'n' roll music, especially stuff from the 70s and 80s, so I reflect that in my dress."

"Even if you get laughed off the street?" Pietro chuckled.

"Surprisingly, that doesn't happen much." Paul shrugged.

"Why are you in Bayville? Not much here but restaurants, geeks, and the occasional football players getting attacked by wild dogs." Fred blinked.

"Humph." Craig snorted. "You wouldn't believe why we're here even if we told you."

"My father recruited you, right?" Pietro rolled his eyes.

"Nobody recruited anybody." Paul rolled his eyes.

"So your father _is_ that Magneto guy." Craig nodded. "He did no such thing, and now I owe you another beating."

"I like you already." Lance said to Craig. "Pietro's been a jerk ever since he came back. Now he's leader, and he bosses us all around."

"Except Wanda. She'll hurt me." Pietro whimpered.

"Don't mind my brother. He's an idiot." Wanda said.

"I noticed." Craig nodded.

"So why are you here?" Fred asked. "You never answered the question."

"Ask Paul." Craig smirked. All eyes turned to the 80s-dressing mutant.

"Well, I'm a big believer in karma. That basically means that if you are a good person, fate will reward you well." Paul explained.

"Karma, huh?" Lance chuckled. "Well, that would explain why we can't get any real breaks lately. We got bad karma!" Lance laughed.

"It wasn't that bad." Todd grinned. "My Crimson Cutie took out the X-Men all by herself OW!!!" Wanda socked him in the mouth.

"The X-Men?" Craig raised an eyebrow.

"They're a bunch of geeks who live in this fancy mansion." Lance grumbled. "They think they're better than us. They think humans and mutants can live together in peace. Ha!"

"You guys should see LA." Craig chuckled.

"Anyway, I woke up one day and something told me I needed to be here." Paul added. "This strange feeling that we were…destined in some way to be here. So, I packed up my stuff and my brother and here we are."

"I tried to convince Paul it was stupid, but it was no use. So I came along." Craig grumbled.

"Why did you?" Wanda asked interestedly. Craig looked at her for a moment.

"_Somebody_ has to watch my brother's back." Craig replied with a sigh. Paul smirked.

_You like her._ Paul teased.

_I do not! She's a bad-tempered brat!_ Craig spat back.

_You like her…_Paul continued teasing.

_I DO NOT!!!!_ Craig cut off the link. He then started mentally cursing. Paul chuckled.

"What's so funny?" Todd moaned, holding his jaw.

"Nothing." Paul waved it off. "Nothing at all. Listen, we can leave if you don't…"

"Nah." Todd waved. "We don't mind. Right, Cuddlebumps?" Todd grinned at Wanda, making the hexcaster sneer.

"I thought I told you not to call me that." She waved her hand and a book flew out of nowhere, socking him in the head.

"But why didn't you guys just join us?" Pietro asked.

"Well, we…" Paul scratched the back of his head nervously.

"I didn't take too kindly to that Magneto clown offering us membership as our only option." Craig smirked.

"By the way, I just thought about this." Blob said.

"_You_ think, Fred?" Pietro laughed. Blob decided to let Pietro live. For now.

"_Anyway…_" He glared at Pietro. "I want to know about the makeup on your faces."

"What did you say?" Craig growled. "Are you insinuating something?"

"Calm down, Craig." Paul scolded. "What makeup?"

"The stars on your faces." Blob pointed at his right eye.

"Oh…" Paul realized. He then smiled. "We're not wearing makeup. We've had them all our lives. They're birthmarks." Paul pulled out his wallet, and took out a picture of himself at four. "See?" He showed the picture. The four-year-old Paul had long hair and the star birthmark.

"Uhm, Paul…" Lance blinked. "Was there ever a time in your life when your hair was short?"

"Uhm…" Paul thought it over. "When I was a baby."

**In front of the Bayville Car Wash**

"Ahhh…" Principal Robert Kelly smiled as he drove out of the car wash. His car was freshly washed and waxed. "What a lovely day. My car is nice and clean, and I'm feeling great. He noticed several ticked-off-looking Rottweilers with foaming mouths sitting in the back seat, staring at him. "What?" The dogs leapt at him and starting mauling him. "YEEEEEOWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!! HELP ME!!!! MAD DOGS!!!! MAD DOGS!!! HELP ME MOMMY!!!! AAGH!!!" The car started veering wildly. "AAAGH!!!! MOMMY!!! WHAT DID I DO?!?!?! WHAT DID I DO?!?!?!" The car smashed through a mailbox, sending it flying into the air, before crashing into a tree. "Ohh…" A mauled and battered Kelly moaned as he left the car. "OW!!" The mailbox landed on him.

Well, looks like the Brotherhood have made two new friends! What insanity will happen next? How will the X-Men react to the Starr Brothers? Will Pietro try to update Paul's closet? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	4. Bayville High, meet the Starrs!

**The Starr Chronicles!**

_To Red Witch: I'm glad you liked the last chapter! You want to see the X-Men's reactions? Well, here they are! I hope you enjoy the new chapter of this insanity!_

_To Raliena: Yeah, Senator Kelly has some real bad karma, as Paul would say. I'm glad you liked the last chapter, and I hope you like this new one. See you in a week, Rae! _

**Disclaimer: "Don't have a cow, man." - Bart Simpson**

Chapter 4: Bayville High, meet the Starrs!

**Bayville High, the next day**

"Ah heard rumors there were a couple new guys living in the Brotherhood House." A gothic-looking girl who had short brown hair with white bangs said to another girl, slightly younger, clad in a yellow top with a pink cardigan and jeans. The Gothic girl had a Southern accent. Her brown hair was in a high ponytail. They were sitting across from each other in one of the tables outside the school.

"Why would anyone want to live with the Brotherhood, Rogue?" The ponytailed girl asked in a Valley Girl accent. The Gothic girl thought about it.

"Ah must admit…they throw good parties, Kitty." Rogue chuckled. They suddenly heard music coming from nearby. "What in the world? Is that…Kiss?" Rogue and Kitty turned around, and saw someone walk up to them. It was Paul Starr. He was clad in an old Kiss t-shirt, tucked into a pair of purple acid-washed jeans, with a couple belts around his waist, a sleeveless acid-washed jean jacket, numerous bracelets on each wrist as well as biker gloves with fringe on them. He had on purple shades as well, and he was carrying a stereo on his shoulder, with Kiss's song "Calling Dr. Love" blasting out. He walked towards the girls, with a smile on his face. "That's one of the new guys."

"Like, his fashion sense leaves…a lot to be desired." Kitty blinked. "Although he doesn't look bad."

"Ah hope he isn't a retro version of Pietro." Rogue grumbled. Paul sat down next to the girls, and put down his stereo, shutting it off.

"Hello girls, I'm Paul Starr. How are you doing?" Paul smiled.

"Fine, Ah guess." Rogue blinked. She wasn't used to anyone associating with the Brotherhood being…friendly. "So, why are you living at the Brotherhood House?"

"Destiny." Paul replied simply.

"Destiny?" Kitty scratched her head in confusion. "Like, you believe you were _destined_ to join the Brotherhood?"

"No, I'm not an official member. I just live with them. They are really nice. Well, except for Pietro. He's the biggest egomaniac I've ever met in my life. And I grew up in Hollywood." Paul rolled his eyes.

"You're kidding!" Rogue exclaimed. "Hollywood? You grew up in _Hollywood_"

"Yep." Paul flashed his grin. "I did."

"Ah'm not surprised." Rogue smirked. "Pietro can put any other egomaniac to shame."

"Yeah." Paul agreed. "Well, I have got to go. I still gotta feel my way around." Paul smiled as he got up. "It was a pleasure meeting you girls. I know you two are X-Men, but I don't mind." He took Rogue's hand and kissed it, being careful not to touch her bare skin. "You have got to be the nicest and prettiest Goth I've ever met." Paul flicked his other wrist, and in a puff of smoke and a couple sparks, a red rose appeared in his hand. He gave it to Rogue. He then did the same to Kitty. "No wonder Lance adores you so much." He winked at the girls, picked up his stereo, and walked away. The two X-Girls blinked for a second as they stared at Paul. Suddenly, they both let out happy sighs.

_What a dreamboat…_They both thought at the same time. Meanwhile, Scott Summers had noticed Paul walk by. Paul shot him a smile and a wave, all in the name of being friendly. Scott waved back, but he had a very confused look on his face.

_Is this 1985 and that Bon Jovi?_ Scott wondered as he watched Paul walk by. Craig Starr was leaning on a wall, a scowl on his face as he looked at the other kids. Duncan Matthews and a couple other football jocks walked up to the bad-tempered mutant.

"Well, well, well." Duncan smirked, standing in front of Craig. "I don't recognize you, pal."

"With your tiny brain, I'm surprised you're able to recognize your own parents." Craig smirked.

"Okay buddy, let's get something straight. I rule this school." Duncan smirked, giving Craig a hard poke in the chest with each word. Craig smirked.

"God help this place then." Craig said simply. Duncan sneered.

"You know what you are, punk? You are just a little snot who doesn't know his place!" Duncan snapped.

"Okay, pal…" Craig reared up to his full height. "I'm going to give you and your little boyfriends over here a warning. Back off right now."

"Oh, and what are you gonna do?" Duncan laughed. Craig's smirk disappeared, and he punched the football player in the mouth. One of the other jocks moved behind Craig and held his arms behind his back. The other jock raced towards him, fists flying. Craig, with a sneer, kicked up his leg, smashing the charging jock's jaw, making him scream. He then threw his head back, knocking the holding jock with a headbutt. Craig then grabbed the holding jock by the back of his jacket and shoved him into the punching jock, causing them to stumble into a table, breaking it. Satisfied that the cronies wouldn't bother him for a while, Craig turned his attention back to Duncan. Craig charged Duncan and tackled him into another table, smashing it. He then knocked the blond football player out cold with a nightstick across the face. The watching students gasped. Craig scowled at them all.

"_WHAT THE $%# ARE YOU ALL LOOKING AT?!_" Craig yelled. He pitched a piece of broken table at the students, scaring them. "I don't stare at you!"

"Ahem." A voice cleared his throat. Craig turned around and saw Principal Kelly.

"What do you want, old man?" Craig growled.

"Do you realize what you have done?" Kelly asked the foul-tempered LA mutant.

"Yeah, I took out some trash." Craig smirked.

"My office. Now." Kelly ordered. Paul watched the whole thing from across the cafeteria and sighed. He was talking with Tabitha.

_Why do you get yourself into messes like that?_ Paul sighed.

**Xavier Institute, that night**

"What's up, Chuck?" Logan wondered as Professor Charles Xavier emerged from the Cerebro room.

"Two new mutants have been detected at the Brotherhood House." Xavier replied. "Twin brothers." The X-Girls walked by, chattering to themselves.

"What the--?" Logan blinked.

"Hey Mr. Logan." Kitty smiled. "We met the _cutest_ guy in school today!"

"Uhhh…" Logan was unsure what to say. "Oh-kay."

"His name is Paul Stanley Starr." Jean smiled. "And he's so _dreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeamyyyyyyyyy__…_" The X-Girls all sighed happily as they seemed to float by. Xavier blinked.

"Uh Logan, Mr. Starr is one of the mutants I was talking about." Xavier said.

"Something tells me that Paul kid and his brother are going to cause a lot of craziness." Logan sighed. Scott walked by, growling.

"What's up, Slim? Someone didn't come to the Danger Room in time?" Logan teased with a chuckle.

"No." Scott groaned. "There was this new kid. That moron nearly attacked a bunch of the other students at Bayville High!"

"Scott, did he look like this?" Xavier showed Scott a picture of Paul. Scott nodded.

"Yeah, but the star on his face was black. And he never smiled." Scott felt something hit his feet. He looked down and picked up a small object: A hockey puck. "What the--?" He heard a yell. "AAAAGH!!!" Scott screamed as he got checked into a wall by Hank McCoy. The blue-furred mutant was clad in a full hockey uniform, complete with hockey stick, and a red-and-white jersey with a maple leaf on it.

"MY PUCK!!!" Beast screamed at Scott. He then skated away, hitting his puck. Logan and Xavier blinked.

"Oh dear God, don't tell me he didn't…" Logan ran to his room. A second later, a scream was heard. "AAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!! HANK GOT INTO MY CANADIAN BEER STASH AGAIN!!!!"

**That night, in town**

"_Oh what a night/Late December back in '63…_" Robert Kelly sang to himself as he walked down the street. "Man, I need to get some music. My car got wrecked. I need some Frankie Valli." Kelly walked into a music store. He came out a minute later, smiling and carrying a Frankie Valli. Out of the bushes, some Rottweilers attacked the hapless principal. "AAAAAGH!!! NOT AGAIN!!!! HELP ME!!! WHAT IS WITH THESE DOGS?!?! OWWWWWW!!!!! HELP ME!!!!! WHY, GOD, WHY?!?!?!?! AAAAAGH!!! OWWW, NOT THERE!!!!"

Well, looks like the insanity will continue! What insanity will happen next? What kind of spell are the X-Girls under? When will Kelly stop getting attacked by dogs? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly! ****


	5. Meeting Time!

**The Starr Chronicles!**

_To RogueFanKC: What happens when Scott realizes the mysterious twin brothers known as the Starr Brothers are living with the Brotherhood? Well, any of these in my honest opinion: Coronary, loss of all sanity faculties, and/or incessant foaming at the mouth. Yeah, I always imagined the Brotherhood as the type of mutant group that would rather throw parties and pull pranks on the unsuspecting town rather than terrorize the human race. Well, Scott may want to eat dirt, but I think with Paul around, the X-Girls will want to be a little bit friendlier with the Brotherhood. Anyway, I read the new chapter of "The Last Muticorn" and I loved it! I can't wait for more! I'm glad you liked the last chapter, and I hope you like this new one._

_To Red Witch: Yeah, Hank is doing the multicultural drunk shtick in this story. I've been playing with a drunk Canadian Hockey Player Beast for quite a while now. I thought it'd be funny to see Beast constantly check people into walls. And I did the whole 'Rottweilers attack somebody' bit every chapter because this story needs a running gag. I'm glad you liked seeing __Duncan__ get his butt handed to him by Craig. Face it, we've all wanted to see it happen sometime. Anyway, I'm glad you liked the last chapter and I hope you enjoy the new chapter! _

_To Aaron: Yep, the Starr brothers have proven that they're too cool for __Bayville__High School__. Well, I knew my fans would love to knock Duncan and his buddies flat. And of course, Paul works his hyper-powered charms. BTW, In the future, I also hope to bring in a certain aquakinetic, a certain interstellar teleporter, and maybe even a certain LA-born feral rocker. Yeah, Paul and Craig are certainly going to shake things up quite a bit._

**Disclaimer: "FREEDOM!!!!" - Mel Gibson as William Wallace, Braveheart**

Chapter 5: Meeting Time!

**The Xavier Institute, that night**

"Well, X-Men. Looks like the Brotherhood have two new recruits." Scott Summers said to the gathered teenage members of the X-Men. "Their names are Paul Starr and Craig Starr. They are twin brothers, and according to Cerebro, they possess the ability to fire lasers from their right eyes, and hypnotic powers." He eyed Rogue petting the red rose Paul gave her earlier. "You are joking me."

"I met Paul Starr at lunch." Jubilee said. Scott looked at the Asian mutant. She was wearing her new favorite shirt under her jacket today: A red shirt with what appeared to be an insignia on it. An insignia of a gold-and-silver razor blade with wings. Scott scowled at that insignia.

"Jubilee, where'd you get that shirt?" He said simply. Jubilee glared.

"Paul gave it to me." Jubilee replied. "I told him I was a big Kid Razor fan."

"You want to_ marry_ that loudmouth." Bobby Drake laughed. "The guy's a loudmouth from Cleveland."

"He's dreamy, that's what…" Jubilee sighed happily. Scott shook his head. Kid Razor was a super-powered loudmouthed teenage rock musician from Cleveland, Ohio. And Jubilation Lee was the biggest Kid Razor fan on earth.

"Whatever." Scott grumbled. For some reason, he felt angry whenever he looked at that insignia. "Anyway, we're not talking about Cleveland musicians with super-powers and equally big mouths. What we should be concerned about is the fact that these two have joined the Brotherhood."

"Actually Scotty, they didn't technically join. They're just living with them." Tabitha corrected, holding the rose Paul gave her. "You can easily see Paul coming."

"Yeah, he dresses like he was walking down a street in 1985 and got knocked forward in time." Bobby laughed.

"Ja, he does look like he came from one of zose videos by…um…you know, zose Jersey guys with big hair?" Kurt struggled to remember the name.

"Bon Jovi." Sam Guthrie guessed. "I don't know. He looks more like Paul Stanley of Kiss to me." The other kids looked at him. "What? I like 70s rock."

"You _like_ that stuff?" Jubilee blinked. Sam smirked.

"Your precious Razor has often said he was influenced by 70s and 80s rock." Sam countered. "He is a fan of bands like Foreigner, AC/DC, Bon Jovi, and Kiss. Paul's a member of the Kiss Army."

"Kiss Army?" Jubilee scratched her head. Sam groaned and pinched his nose in disbelief.

"He does look like that guy from Kiss." Jean realized. "I never realized that."

"Wow. He does look like Paul Stanley now that I think about it. Only younger." Tabby blinked.

"Sounds like Paul is a high-profile type of person." Scott said. The girls started talking at once all about Paul to Scott. The optic blaster moaned. "One at a time! One at a time!"

"What about his brother?" Rogue realized. "Craig Starr. The man's like an LA thug."

"I saw him take down Duncan Matthews and two of those cronies of his. Single-handedly." Ray Crisp said. "And you guys say _I_ have a temper."

"Man, Craig looks like someone I do _not_ want to meet in a dark alley." Sam said.

"No kidding." Rahne Sinclair agreed.

"I said 'hello' to him and he nearly threw a nightstick at me!" Roberto DaCosta exclaimed. "It's weird. Paul is one of the friendliest, most sociable people around, while Craig is bad-tempered, always angry, and always picking fights."

"Day and Night. Light and Dark. Paul and Craig." Hank said as he walked in. "From what you kids describe, the two boys seem like polar opposites."

"Not to mention I detected telepathic activity between the brothers." Jean added. "I think they may have some form of telepathic link."

"Telepathic link? Like they could speak to each other?" Scott scratched his head.

"Possibly." Hank nodded.

"I know why Paul and Craig moved in with the Brotherhood." Kitty said. "Paul is a believer in thinks like destiny and karma."

"Karma. The belief that if you are good in heart and action, fate will reward you." Hank nodded.

"Anyway…" Kitty continued. "Paul believes that he and Craig were destined to befriend the Brotherhood."

"But why _them?_ They're a bunch of hoodlums!" Scott exclaimed in disbelief.

"I don't think they're that bad." A voice said. The X-Men turned around and saw Paul at the door, Craig alongside him. "Hello. Are we interrupting?"

**Mick's Bar, just outside Bayville**

Mick's Bar. A biker bar just outside of Bayville. A place where those who wore leather and worshipped Harley-Davidsons could get together, drink, have a few laughs, and maybe engage in the occasional game of cards and screaming at the TV during a sports game.

"Man, I can't believe I pulled it over on those stupid bikers." Duncan Matthews laughed as he left the bar. He loaded the beer in the back of a van. Suddenly… "AAAAAGHH!!!! WHERE DO THESE DOGS COME FROM?!?!" Duncan screamed as he ran into the road, covered in rabid Rottweilers. "NOT AGAIN!!! NOT AGAIN WITH THE RABIES SHOTS!!!! HELP ME MOMMY!!! SOMEONE HELP ME!!!! AAAGH!!!!" Duncan didn't notice a pair of headlights bearing down on him. Until the dogs jumped off him. "Huh?" Duncan turned and saw a truck bearing down on him, blaring its horn. Duncan screamed, and then the truck hit him.

Well, looks like the X-Men are going to get to know the Starr Brothers! What will happen next? Will the X-Men like the brothers? Will Duncan and Kelly ever get a break? Will anything else interesting happen? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	6. One Man Invasion!

**The Starr Chronicles**

_To soulstress: Hey there soulstress! It has been a while since you reviewed my work. Nice to hear from you again! Actually, this is set in a universe apart from my or Red Witch's Misfit-verse. Think of this as the Misfit-verse done from the beginning my way. You like Craig, huh? Well, you'll see more of him lose his cool, punch people out, and fire more dirty looks. I thought it would be funny if at the end of every chapter, Kelly and/or Duncan were attacked by rabid dogs. You can borrow things from this fic if you need them. I like your idea of Kelly getting attacked by bunnies. That would be really embarrassing. Pietro is such a fashion plate and so obsessed with style that I thought he would create a very funny reaction when he saw Paul's preferring a retro wardrobe. I do the whole girls-all-in-love-with-one-guy for laughs, and catfights are funny. I'm glad we'll see the Scott-as-a-cheerleader idea in 'Couples Therapy' soon. Never read it. Sounds like a hoot. Anyway, I'm glad you liked the last chapter, and I hope you like this new one!_

_To Red Witch: Oh yeah, this was going to be good. I read the new chapter of "This Soap Opera Called Life" and I liked it! I would not be surprised if X23 was working with guys with names like Benoit or Orton. Anyway, I'll have more torture for you! I'm glad you liked the last chapter, and I hope you like this new one!_

_To Aaron: Yep, the Starr Brothers are officially meeting the X-Men. I wouldn't say everyone's going to hate Craig, but they may be a little afraid of him. I may bring in a certain loud-mouthed, super-powered Cleveland-born rocker as a member of a certain group of heroes. Yeah, I can definitely see Kid Razor throwing zingers at everyone, talking trash about Scott, calling Ororo Tina Turner, and flirting with the X-Girls. Anyway, I'm extremely glad you liked this chapter, and I hope you like this new one full of insanity!_

**Disclaimer: "Snakes? Why'd it have to be snakes?" - Harrison Ford as ****Indiana**** Jones**

Chapter 6: One-Man Invasion

**The Xavier Institute**

"Uhm…hello. And no, you're not interrupting anything." Hank McCoy blinked as he looked at Paul and Craig. Like the other X-Men, he wasn't used to anyone who lived at the Brotherhood House being…friendly. Craig looked around the room.

"Swanky place. I could trash it in five minutes. Ten, tops." Craig said simply.

"Be nice, Craig." Paul scolded. "Well, I thought we might as well get to know the neighbors since we're all going to be sharing this town together."

"That is _baaaaaad_ fashion." Roberto whispered to Kurt, pointing at Paul's 80's-style clothing. While the X-Men murmured, Paul noticed something out the window.

_Hey Craig, check out that shooting star._ Paul looked at the streak of light go through the sky. _It's a big one. Like it's going to hit right near here or something._

_Whatever.__ You see one shooting star, you see 'em all._ Craig grumbled.

**A couple miles just outside Bayville**

The shooting star collided with the deserted ground hard, creating a small crater and a small kaboom. Its glow dissipated as steam arose as a result of the intense heat generated by the friction of the meteor going through the atmosphere at incredible speed. However, when the steam cloud covering the object was gone, the object was revealed to be a grayish-silver spaceship with dark purple trim and black-and-yellow highlights, shaped like an odd futuristic space shuttle, about the size of a sedan. The cockpit opened up, and steam escaped from the opening.

"Stupid ventilation system! Stupid %$&#() landing gear!" A voice growled, waving away the steam. The occupant leapt out of the craft. He bore an incredible resemblance to Todd Tolensky. He was clad in a black costume with purple armor, silver spikes on the shoulders, and blades on the forearms, as well as a long purple cape. He carried a futuristic silver axe that looked like it had a cannon and bayonet built into the shaft. He was short and toned, but something about him screamed power. He smiled evilly as he looked at Bayville.

"Ahhh…a new planet…a new species to terrorize and a new world to ravage…This planet, like all the others, shall know me and fear me."

**The Brotherhood House**

"Pietro, what _are_ you doing?" Lance asked the silver-haired speedster. The egomaniacal son of Magneto sat there on the couch, his knees hugged up to his chest and rocking back and forth while the other members of the Brotherhood were watching the tube.

"His clothes…His clothes…His clothes…His clothes…" Pietro murmured over and over again.

"Oh is he going on about it _again_?" Todd whined as he came down the stairs.

"Evidently Pietro can't handle Paul's style of dress." Lance sighed. "Look, Starchild wears what he wants to wear. It's a free country."

"Starchild?" Wanda raised an eyebrow.

"Sorry, it's just that Paul resembles Paul Stanley of Kiss. On stage, Paul assumes the persona of the Starchild. It just came out like that."

"That would make a good codename for Paul." Todd chuckled.

"Starchild?" Fred thought about it. "Yeah, it would fit. It would fit him like a glove." Fred laughed.

"Maybe we should tell him we have a codename for him." Todd grinned.

"But neither Paul nor Craig wish to join the Brotherhood." Wanda said.

"Snukums does have a point." Todd noted. Wanda waved her hand, and a lamp hit Toad in the face, knocking him over the couch with a thunk and a whimper. "Love hurts, yo." He then started singing Vandenburg. "_Love hurts/Love scars/Love wounds…_"

_He's getting resilient, I'll have to give him that._ Wanda sighed. She waved her hand. A couple books smacked the downed amphibian-like mutant.

"OW OW!!! Love really hurts, yo."

"Still, it wouldn't hurt for them to have codenames anyway." Lance smirked. "Besides, it'd be good for a laugh. I think Paul would love it."

"Speaking of the Starr Brothers, where did they go?" Fred wondered.

"I heard they went to X-Geek Central." Todd whimpered from behind the couch. "Hey!" Wanda used her hex powers to whack him with a pillow. "What was _that_ for? I didn't even say anything!"

"I know. Consider getting whacked by something soft a reward." Wanda smirked.

"HOPE!!!" Todd raised a fist. "OW!" A chandelier fell on him.

_Poor little buddy._ Fred shook his head somberly.

"Why would they want to go to X-Geek central?" Wanda wondered. She shot a glare at her whimpering twin brother.

"His clothes…His clothes…His clothes…His clothes…His clothes…" Pietro whimpered and rocked back and forth. Wanda grumbled and waved her hand. A book flew out of nowhere and hit him, knocking the silver-haired speedster over the couch. They heard screams coming from outside. Senator Kelly was trying to run away from the house, but a collar attached to a chain kept pulling him back to the house.

"HELP ME!!!" Kelly screamed. "AAAGHH!!! STUPID DOGS!!!!" He got attacked by Rottweilers again.

"I'll get the sandblaster. It's my turn anyway." Todd grinned as he went outside.

**In the Bayville Mall**

"Oh yeah…" Duncan Matthews grinned as he enjoyed a soda at the Bayville Mall's second floor food court. "Not _that_ is a slushie!" He heard snarling. "What the-?" He looked behind him and his eyes widened. "AAAAAAGH!!!! NOT AGAIN!!!!" A group of Rottweilers leapt on him. "HELP ME!!!" Duncan screamed and ran around, scaring mall-goers as the dogs mauled him. "NOT AGAIN!!! WHOA HEY HELP!!!!" Duncan screamed as the dogs leapt off him and he fell over the railing into the top floor, landing with a THUD!!!!

Well, looks like things are still insane in the ol' Brotherhood House! What insanity will happen next? Who is the alien guy coming to ravage Bayville? What's happening at the Institute? Will Kelly and Duncan ever get a break? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	7. Observing and Torture!

**The Starr Chronicles!**

_To Raliena: Hey Raliena! Good to hear from you again! I missed you! Glad to have you back! You got quite a bit of reading to catch up on indeed, girl. Anyway, I'm very glad you enjoyed the last chapter and I hope you enjoy this new one._

_To soulstress: Yeah, I'm kinda proud I got Kelly and Duncan in one chapter. I'm glad you liked that. Yeah, Wanda smacking Todd around is funny, despite the fact that Todd's one of my favorite characters. He'll get himself a girl in this fic though, so things will look up for the Toadmeister. Anyway, I'm still planning to use your bunny attack idea, so I hope that makes you happy. Kelly and Duncan are such jerks, aren't they? They do deserve the butt-kickings they get all the time. Anyway, I'm surprised you had nothing to say about the evil alien that resembled Todd. I know what college is like, because it's starting up for me as well. Anyway, I'm glad you liked the last chapter, and I hope you like this brand new one!_

_To Red Witch: Yeah, an evil alien Todd is the last thing that Bayville needs. Remember those e-mails I sent you about this story? This is just the start. Anyway, I'm glad you liked the last chapter, and I hope you enjoy this new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "Please, Please, PLEASE, Don't go!" - James Brown.**

Chapter 7: Observing and Torture!

**The Skies over Bayville**

The mysterious alien who bore an uncanny resemblance to Todd flew over the skyline of Bayville.

"Such a primitive city…" The alien sneered. "They don't even have simple hovercars, and an _idiot_ could build one of those! Heh, these Earthlings are practically _begging_ me to take over their world and crush their puny selves with my bare hands. And it shall be so." He landed on the roof of a skyscraper. "This world shall fall, and Roxor the Ravager shall shall be known as the single greatest evil being that ever roamed this universe. AHHHHHH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

**In orbit around Earth**

"He's here." A voice said on board a shrouded spacecraft. "Roxor is here. And he plans to massacre another planet."

"We can't let that happen. If we don't catch him here, then he will be able to ravage space forever." Another voice said.

"Compared to what Roxor has done, our other prisoner is harmless." The first voice chuckled. "All she's done is steal things."

"Hey, I want my phone call! You said I could have my phone call, and I wasn't given it yet!" Another voice, a feminine one, exclaimed.

"Will you give her her phone call so she will shut up about it?!" The second voice snapped.

**The Xavier Institute**

"Wow…" Tabby stared at Paul with glazed eyes. "What a life…" The X-Girls all sat around the 80s-dressed Paul Starr, listening with smiles at his stories. The other X-Men were watching with amazement. Scott Summers watched with a scowl.

_I don't like this._ Scott scowled. _I don't like it. Not one bit. The Brotherhood must have sent him here, but for what? If it is to get information, then they sent someone effective. It's pretty obvious this guy's a mutant, but what kind of powers does he have? It seems he has some kind of charm ability, based on the way the girls are fawning over him. I'd better keep an eye on this guy. Something tells me that Paul Starr is nothing but trouble._

"You are something, sugah." Rogue said to Paul.

"I'm just a humble Hollywood kid." Paul shrugged. "Nothing special." Craig noticed Scott stare at Paul intensely.

"You got a problem, Four-Eyes?" Craig growled at Scott. Scott sneered.

_And this guy is just nothing but a thug. Hard to believe this street riff-raff and that retro moron are related, much less identical twin brothers._ "What do you want?" Scott scowled at Craig. Craig shot him a dirty look.

"You'd better watch yourself around my brother, Shades." Craig warned. "You seem like the type who can't handle those who don't follow him around like a puppy. Neither me nor him follow you, Glasses. To be honest, I don't like you. And if you try anything on those that I _do_ like, I can't be held responsible for what will happen to you at my hands." Scott gulped.

"Poor you, Paul. At least you have your brother." Jean smiled.

"Yeah. Until my powers emerged, I never knew I had a brother. You see, Craig there and I have the ability to communicate with each other and track each other telepathically." Paul smiled. "We both have the same powers. We can both fire purple lasers from our right eyes, and we can hypnotize people." Paul laughed. "That power saved my butt." He saw Craig and Scott. "Oh look, Craig made a friend."

"Scott, quit hassling him, will you?" Jean said. "Leave him alone."

"Heh, it's pretty obvious who wears the pants in that relationship." Craig smirked at Scott.

"Why don't you go get yourself shot?" Scott scowled.

"Sorry, Shades. I don't do requests." Craig replied simply. He left the house.

"Be careful, Craig." Paul called.

"Yeah, yeah." Craig mumbled.

**The Brotherhood House**

"I wonder how the Starr Brothers are doing." Fred asked as he watched wrestling with Todd.

"Knowing our luck yo, they probably saw the X-Geeks' mansion and decided to stay." Todd grumbled. The boys heard the door slam. It was Craig. "Let me guess, you decided to become an X-Geek?"

"No way. That Scott guy burns me up." Craig grumbled. Wanda walked into the room.

"Hey Cuddlebumps." Todd grinned. Wanda scowled and waved her hand. "AAGH!!" A book hit him in the face. "Love hurts, yo…"

"I battered him all day and he keeps on coming." Wanda grumbled. _What is the Toad made out of?!_ The foursome heard screaming outside.

"HELP ME!!!" Principal Kelly squashed himself against the window. "AAAAAAAAGHH!!!" He got blasted from behind by a sandblaster, wielded by a cackling Lance. "Stop blasting me! It hurts! AIEEEEEEEEE NOT THERE!!!! NOT THERE!!!!"

"WHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! THIS ROCKS!!!! WHOOOO!!!!" Lance screamed. He then turned it off and went back inside. "Your turn, Fred."

"Hey look at that!" Todd laughed.

"AAAAAGH!!!! EVIL BUNNIES!!!!" Kelly screamed as he raced by the window, covered in bunnies.

**A road in Bayville**

"Oh yeah, what a great night to drive. And my car, like me, is hot!" Duncan Matthews grinned as he drove his car down the road. He then heard growling. "What…" He turned around. "AAAAGH!!!! NOT THE DOGS AGAIN!" The Rottweilers leapt out of nowhere and started mauling him, making the car swerve. Duncan screamed as the car crashed into the back of a manure truck, and the dogs leapt out. Manure spilled out of the truck, all over a screaming Duncan. "AAAAAGH!!! MANURE!!! I HATE MANURE!!!!"

Well, looks like some more insanity is here! What madness will happen next? What is Roxor up to? What is Scott's problem? Who are those aliens? How will Kelly and Duncan get brutalized next? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	8. Switched!

**The Starr Chronicles**

_To Raliena: Go where? Hey, I'm glad you liked the last chapter and I hope you enjoy this new one. Craig playing cards with Remy, and cheating to win? Hmm, sounds interesting. I'll see what I can do._

_To Red Witch: Yes, much confusion will be ahead! Anyway, I hope you like this new chapter full of insanity! I love the new stuff you've written!_

_To soulstress: Hey there! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! I'm glad you like Craig. He has had some pretty funny lines in this story, I'll give him that. Feel free to read this story any time! How does Toad survive the beatings? Maybe he was put through Weapon X and given an indestructible skeleton like __Logan__ and X23. That's one possibility. Or maybe he's just too cool to be killed. Toad will get a girlfriend in this story. I got more Kelly and __Duncan__ torture for you. Enjoy the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "This chick is _toast!_" - Bill Murray as Peter Venkman, Ghostbusters**

Chapter 8: Switched!

**Brotherhood Boarding House**

"I'm going out." Todd said as he grabbed his coat.

"Where to?" Lance wondered.

"Find something to do. I'm bored." Todd said.

"GIVE ME BACK MY HAIR DRYER, PIETRO!!!!" Wanda's screams came from upstairs.

"OWWW!!!! WANDA, NOT THE HAIR!!! NOT THE HAIR!!!" Pietro screamed. Craig grumbled and cursed as he stomped upstairs. Sounds of a scuffle were heard, and Pietro came tumbling down the stairs.

"Maybe that will teach you to shut up!" Craig snapped, holding the hair dryer. He turned and started to hand the dryer back to Wanda when he noticed she was clad in her nightgown. Craig and Wanda blinked as they appeared transfixed by each other. Craig blushed. "Uhm…uh…"

"Uhm…" Wanda stammered, her face reddening slightly. "**_Ergh!_**" She snatched the hair dryer and stomped over to her room. Craig shook his head and smacked his forehead with his palm.

_What is going on here?! Why does she have that effect on me?! Is it a power of hers or something?_ Craig grumbled as he came back down. He gave the downed whimpering Pietro a little kick before he went back on the chair and watched the TV.

"Remind me never to tick you off, man." Fred said to Craig before taking a bite of his sandwich.

"Evidently there was a mistake when they labeled you 'the dumb one', Dukes." Craig said without turning to him. "Where'd the frog go out to?"

"How should I know?" Lance shrugged.

"My neck…" Pietro whimpered.

**Atop a building in Bayville**

Roxor the Ravager stood on a building, still staring at the town.

"Stupid town…stupid people…" Roxor smirked. "This planet _begs_ to be eliminated from the universe. The people are so primitive, and they barely seem able to handle facing an Andromedan Hornhead. I've decimated entire planets before, and I can do it again. I doubt this planet ever experienced power like mine." Roxor noted something odd. He noticed Todd hop in an alley. "Strange…he and I could pass for twins! Perhaps I can use this." He flew down towards the Toad, landing behind him. "Ahem." He cleared his throat. Todd turned around, and his eyes widened.

"Who are you, yo?" Todd blinked.

"Your superior, filthy Earthling." Roxor snarled. He smashed his axe hard against Toad, knocking him into a wall. As Todd moaned, Roxor placed his hand on his forehead. The alien criminal then read Todd's memories. It was from there he learned about mutants, but he judged them no threat. These 'X-Men' and 'Brotherhood' were still humans, after all. "I shall impersonate you. Those idiots in the Space Police will capture you, thinking you're me. You'll serve my time, and I'll be free to continue causing mayhem." Roxor smirked at the unconscious Todd. "You should rejoice, Todd Tolensky. It's an honor that Roxor the Ravager chose you to receive the punishment for his crimes." Roxor switched his clothes with Todd's and mimicked him perfectly, hopping to the Brotherhood House, familiarizing himself with his 'housemates'. Roxor thought of the Toad's housemates as morons, and didn't quite understand why the Toad kept flirting with a girl who constantly hurt him and was obviously not attracted to him in the least. _Why does this Toad flirt with this Wanda girl? She appears to be heartless, incapable of returning his feelings. My kind of girl. It's obvious this Toad creature is incredibly stupid and/or a sadist._ Roxor watched Principal Kelly run down the street screaming, getting mauled by Rottweilers. He stumbled into a fireworks shop, at which points the dogs raced off, and explosions and his pained screams rang out. "What a strange human. I think once I assert my rule over this planet, he shall be my fool." He then noticed Duncan Matthews run around, screaming. He was on fire.

**The Xavier Institute**

"Professor, I don't trust him." Scott Summers said to Hank McCoy, Ororo Munroe, Logan, and Professor Charles Xavier. Hank McCoy was known as the Beast because of his blue furry ape-like body, incredible strength, reflexes, and agility. Ororo Munroe was a Kenyan woman known as Storm because of her power to manipulate the weather. Logan was a mysterious grizzled Candian feral mutant who was codenamed Wolverine because of his enhanced senses, ferocity, healing factor that made him practically unkillable, and adamantium-laced skeleton and claws. Professor Charles Xavier was the guy in charge of the institute. He was one of the strongest mutants on Earth thanks to his telepathic and telekinetic abilities. Scott Summers was the teenage leader of the X-Men, and he was cursed with an uncontrollable power: optic blasts from his eyes. To control them, he had to wear glasses with ruby quartz lenses. Some say a side effect of his powers made him very uptight, to the point of annoying. "I do not trust that Paul Starr guy. Something about him that I don't like."

"Maybe it's the fact that our female students seem a tad bit enamored by our guest." Hank smiled.

"He lives with the Brotherhood, Beast. I find it hard to believe that he lives with them and claims to want to be friends with us." Scott grimaced.

"He seems like a nice young man." Ororo said in a confused manner. "What do you think, Charles?"

"It is strange Scott, but then again, many would consider it strange having special abilities." Xavier reminded. Scott sighed.

"The kid's weird." Logan looked over at Paul. The teenage mutant certainly would be noticed instantly because of his 80s look. "Very weird. Last time I saw anyone wear anything like _that_, New Wave was the music of choice."

"I don't think he's a New Wave fan." Beast chuckled, eyeing the Kiss t-shirt Paul was wearing.

"Give it time, Scott. Maybe you'll like him." Ororo smiled.

"Yeah, sure." Scott sighed and left. _Yeah, and I'll start wearing acid-washed jeans like him, too._ Scott scowled at the girls fawning over Paul Starr. What was the worst was that this guy seemed to have no idea the girls were acting this way! "Urgh. I hate that Starchild."

Well, looks like things are going to go bad for our merry mutants? What'll Roxor do to the Brotherhood? Can they stop him? What'll happen you to Toad? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	9. Seek and Capture!

**The Starr Chronicles!**

_To soulstress: I'm glad you liked that line Roxor said about Kelly. If you want to borrow any of the lines from my story, you are perfectly welcome to. You can use my characters if you want to. I'm glad you liked the Kelly and Duncan torture in the story. Sorry about the bunched up paragraphs. I'll try to cut down on that. Yeah, Scott is jealous of Paul in a way. And I always thought of the Brotherhood as a bunch of super-powered party animals. I'm glad you liked the little crush between Wanda and Craig. I read the new chapter of "Tempest". I laughed at the part where Rogue nailed Gambit in the berries! And I can only imagine what __Logan__ is going to do to Remy. Here's more insanity for you. I hope you like it._

_To Raliena: Hey Rae! Glad you're back! Hope you like the new chapter!_

_To Red Witch: You think Toad's going to hate what's going to happen to him in space, then he's really going to hate what Roxor will make people think he did back on Earth! I also read the new chapter of "This Soap Opera Called Life", and it was good! Poor old Ali. She needs a friend right now. Why not Longshot, heh heh. Anyway, I hope you like this new chapter!_

_To RogueFanKC: And the next chapter has arrived for you! I'll see if I can do some Scott torture down the line. Poor Todd will be brokenhearted, but he'll be fine, considering he'll get a new friend and a new girlfriend after all this! Anyway, I hope you like the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "My mom, you gotta love her, she flew out the window. _Flew!!_" - Kevin Costner as Marcus Summers, American Flyers (One of my favorite movies)**

Chapter 9: Seek and Capture!

**The Xavier Institute**

"Nice to meet you guys! Hope we can hang out sometime!" Paul grinned.

"Bye Paul." The X-Girls' voices chorused sweetly from the door.

"I don't get it. What's so great about him?" Scott's voice came from outside. Then came his screams. Paul walked to the front gates, where he noticed Lance, Craig, and Fred sitting in Lance's jeep. The engine was running. "Hey guys, what's up?"

"Todd's missing." Lance said.

"Little buddy went out for a walk and never came back." Fred added.

"I don't know why I'm here." Craig grumbled. "I don't care in the least about that stupid frog."

"We're looking for him. Was he here?" Lance asked. Paul shook his head.

"No, never saw him. Sorry. Maybe I can help find him." Paul jumped in the jeep and the Brotherhood drove off.

**Back at the Brotherhood House**

Roxor the Ravager, posing as Todd Tolensky, returned to the Brotherhood House. He was posing as an Earthman so he could find Earth's weaknesses. Wanda looked up from the couch. She scowled when she recognized him.

"Oh, it's you." Wanda grumbled. "The other members of the moron squad and Craig are looking for you. Pietro's preening again in the bathroom." Roxor remained silent as he hopped by. Wanda blinked. _Odd.__ He normally spits some bad pick-up line._ Pietro noticed this from the stairs and he snickered.

"Hey Wanda, you look fine tonight!" Pietro catcalled in Todd's voice. Wanda scowled at Roxor. She got up and waved her hand.

"WAHH!!!" Roxor screamed as Wanda hexed him into a wall. Pietro snickered from the stairs.

_Oh man, Wanda bought it!_ Pietro laughed. Roxor leapt out of the wall angrily. Wanda turned around. Then, something very unusual happened. It appeared to be the Toad running up to Wanda from behind, and then dropkicking her into another wall. Pietro's eyes widened at that. _What in the name of…?_

"AAGH!" Wanda screamed. She recovered, and then turned around, eyes fiery with anger. "That's it, I'm going to…" Wanda cocked her arm back, ready to pitch a hex-bolt, but she noticed Roxor's eyes and assumed they were Todd's. _Wait a minute, Wanda! Something is wrong here. Something is very wrong here._ 'Todd' appeared to scowl at her.

"That's for all the times you used me as a punching bag!" Roxor snapped. His voice was also a good impersonation of Todd's. Wanda blinked incredibly at that. Roxor hopped into the kitchen. "If you use your little witch tricks on me again, I'll make sure you are never able to move your arms again! I'm tired of trying to be nice to you! You're just a bitter old hag!"

_What in the world happened to Todd on that walk?_ Wanda blinked in shock. _How can one person change attitude so completely in only an hour?_

_Can someone explain this to me?_ Pietro blinked. _What's causing Todd Tolensky's attitude problem?_

**An alley in Bayville**

"Uhh…ohhh…" Todd moaned as he got up. He rubbed his head with one hand and he noticed he was clad in Roxor's armor. "What happened? And where'd these clothes come from, yo?" He stumbled further into the alley. "Man, my head is killing me, yo OOF!!!" Todd ran into something, like another person. He fell backwards on his butt, and he saw who it was. They were actually two large figures, but the sparse light in the alley made it difficult to make out who they were. "Who…who…"

"You massacred entire planets, Roxor the Ravager. Now you finally are going to pay for your crimes, madman." One of the figures displayed a badge to Todd. The badge glowed gold, and it looked like a futuristic police badge. The badge presenter's voice was kind of like Sabertooth. "I'm Officer Halgun of the Intergalactic Police Force. You're under arrest for crimes against various species, including malicious mischief and planetary destruction. You have the right to remain silent. If you choose to waive that right, anything you say can and will be used against you in an Intergalactic Court of Law. You also have the right to public defense. If you cannot afford one, public defense will be appointed to you with no charge."

"Although for your crimes, I doubt any lawyer will want to represent you." The other figure snarled in a voice that sounded a little like the speaker was underwater.

"Roxor?" Todd blinked. "Did I get knocked into a bad sci-fi flick? Who's Roxor?" The officers laughed.

"How appropriate that one of my species capture you, Roxor." The beast-voiced officer chuckled. "You massacred a lot of my people. They slapped some kind of futuristic handcuffs on Todd, then they pressed a button on the cuffs, and they glowed. Suddenly, Todd found himself chained in a clear rectangular box. His eyes widened, and he panicked.

"Wait! Wait, yo! I'm not this Roxor guy! My name is Todd Tolensky! I'm an Earthling!" Todd exclaimed. "You got the wrong guy!"

"Yeah, yeah. That's what all you criminals say." Officer Halgun pressed a button on his belt and the officers and Todd disappeared in blue columns of light, like the transporter effect in Star Trek.

**Bayville****City Hall**

"HELP US!!!!" Kelly and Duncan screamed. They were hanging from a flagpole in city hall by their boxer shorts. They were painted blue and covered in birdseed. And suddenly, a huge flock of birds flew in and pecked at them mercilessly to get the birdseed. "AAAAAGH!!!! HELP!!! OW!!! MOMMY!!!! SAVE US!!! SOMEBODY SAVE US!!!!"

Uh oh! Looks like everyone's favorite toad is in big trouble! What insanity will happen next? Will Toad be able to escape? What else will Roxor do as Todd? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	10. A New Friend and a Deception!

**The Starr Chronicles!**

_To Firefly25: Hey there Firefly! It's nice to hear a review from you again! I hope you keep on reviewing, pal! Yeah, this is the story that has it all: Insanity, X-Girls all crazy for one guy, Scott freaking out and slowly losing his grip on reality, and Pietro being stupid. All in all, another typical fic. Oh yeah, you should read my fic 'Rising Starrs'. It's about the Starr Brothers first meeting the Misfits! It's some great stuff! Yeah, the cop has a grudge, and even space cops screw up, Firefly!_

_To Red Witch: Yeah, you'd **think** that intergalactic cops would have some kind of DNA scanner or something. I guess you have a point. You've only just had introduced your version of Dazzler. I must admit, your version of the lightengale is certainly much different from mine. I was partially inspired by the original comic version of Dazzler when I thought of bringing her in. That's why in my Misfit-verse, Ali has Farrah hair. I hope you can update again! We need more! I hope you like this new chapter!_

_To soulstress: Hey there soulstress! I read the last chapter of 'Couples Therapy' and I burst out laughing at the scene of Scott in a cheerleader outfit dancing to the Spice Girls in front of an audience. You know, when I first heard of them, I thought they were called the Space Girls! I'm glad you liked the Duncan and Kelly torture I did! I thought it was funny. You can borrow more lines from me if you want to. And don't worry about Todd. Someone will SAVE THE FROG!! I hope you like this new chapter!_

_To Raliena: Don't worry, Rae. Todd will be fine. He'll make a new friend in the process, too! Anyway, enjoy the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "Will everybody just stop getting shot?"**

Chapter 10: A New Friend and a Deception!

**The alien police craft**

"In you go, Roxor!" Halgun pitched Todd into a cell in the back of the ship. "Imprisonment is too good for you, monster. I hope you get the death penalty."

"But I'm not this Roxor guy!" Todd exclaimed. Around his wrists, neck, waist, and ankles were what appeared to be cuffs made of golden energy. "Please, you guys have got to believe me!" He yelled. "Jerk!" Halgun only spit at Todd and left.

"Zarn! Let's go!"

"Oh great, I have to share a cell with Roxor the Ravager." A feminine voice grumbled. Todd turned and saw his cellmate sitting on the cot: A beautiful teenage girl with long black feathered hair. Her dark eyes gleamed with a combination of intensity and playfulness. She was clad in a tight gold bodysuit with black-and-silver highlights, gold studded forearm bands, gold boots, and white gloves. She had gold-and-silver make-up around her eyes, black lipstick, and golden earrings. What shocked Todd the most about the girl was that she appeared to be human! "Compared to the stuff you did, what I did was harmless. After all, all I did was steal jewelry and cash. I never massacred entire populations."

"Look lady, I don't know what's going on." Todd gulped. The girl laughed in a 'yeah-right' tone.

"Nice act, Roxor." Her face formed a sneer. The girl grabbed Todd and put him against the wall. She looked him right in the eyes. "Listen, you monster! I…" She trailed off when she saw Todd's eyes. "You're right, buddy. You _can't_ be Roxor. I saw that madman's eyes. Yours show a soul." She put Todd down. "Sorry about that."

"_Finally,_ someone believes me!" Todd exclaimed. "Who the heck is this Roxor guy?"

"Roxor is not a person. He's a living demon." The girl explained. "The guy suddenly appeared out of nowhere sometime ago on a lush planet. He has this mad goal of ruling the universe. I saw his eyes once. I barely survived one of his raids."

"So, he has an army?"

"He doesn't need one. The guy has phenomenal strength and power. He also carries an axe that is believed to have cosmic powers. Not much is known about him." The girl sighed. "You look just like him."

"Trust me, it's not intentional." Todd grumbled. "By the way, yo…I'm Todd Tolensky."

"Lila Cheney." The girl said with a grin. "By the way, what planet are you from?"

"Earth." Todd blinked.

"Oh cool! Me too!" Lila grinned.

"_You're_ an Earth girl?!"

"What'd you expect me to be? Kree? Skrull? Shi'ar?" Lila smirked. Todd blinked at that. "I have this strange power. I can teleport. However, the shortest distance I can teleport is between planets."

"That's a weird ability, yo." Todd blinked. "You're a mutant, then." Lila raised an eyebrow.

"What's a mutant?" Lila blinked. Todd groaned.

"You don't know what a mutant is?" Todd said in amazement.

"Not really. Since I first gained this power, I've spent quite a lot of my life in space. My parents tried to sell me to an intergalactic slave trader, but my powers got me out. I stole stuff to survive. Compared to Roxor…well, I _am_ the best thief in this part of the galaxy, but I'm still harmless." Lila shrugged.

"I've done a bit of pick-pocketing myself." Todd grinned. Lila smiled.

"Buddy, you just got yourself a friend." Lila took out her hand, and Todd shook it. Todd then realized something.

"Listen, this Roxor guy. If I'm here, then he's on Earth! Oh God, we got to get it through to the intergalactic squad of Keystone Kops over there and tell them Roxor's on Earth!" Todd realized.

"Good luck now." Lila sighed, looking out the window. "Look at the stars." Lila helped Todd up.

"What stars, yo? There are white lines in the sky."

"That means this ship's hit hyperspeed. This ship is going faster than the speed of light. And based on how long we've been here, I can guess that we've already left our solar system." Lila sighed. "We're not in Kansas anymore."

"We're not on _Earth_ anymore, yo!" Todd exclaimed. "_Now_ what do we do?"

"We have to find a way to get those cops to turn around." Lila sighed. "But first, we have to free you." She pulled out a card from her costume and put it on the golden energy cuffs that bound Todd. The card glowed silver and the cuffs disappeared.

"Thanks, yo."

"No prob." Lila grinned.

**Back on Earth, at the Brotherhood House**

"We're home!" Lance said as he walked into the Brotherhood House alongside Fred and Craig. "Where is everyone?"

"There he is." Fred blinked. Roxor was sitting on the couch, watching TV.

"Where have you idiots been?" Roxor grumbled, impersonating Todd.

"Out looking for you, Todd. Where were you?!" Lance exclaimed.

"I don't have to tell you anything, Alvers." Roxor growled.

"You okay, Little Buddy?" Fred asked with some concern.

"I _have_ a name, fat boy." Roxor growled. "I came to a realization on that walk. I am sick and tired of being treated like the inept idiot around here."

"Todd, are you okay?" Lance blinked.

"I'm fine, Lance." Roxor smirked.

"Move over, Todd." Craig said. Roxor sneered.

"Make me."

"Fine." Craig made a move to shove Roxor over, but the alien madman grabbed Craig's arm and twisted it, making him yell out. Roxor, with incredible strength, pitched Craig over the chair. Craig snarled, and his eye glowed. "That's it!" Craig fired his eye laser, but Roxor dodged and knocked Craig into the kitchen with one punch!

"Todd, what's going on?! How'd you…" Lance and Fred asked in shock.

"I did a little…changing." Roxor grinned evilly. In the kitchen, Craig grumbled and cursed as he got to his feet.

"Craig, wait." Wanda walked up to him. "There's something seriously wrong here."

**In Bayville**

"Oh God, this is humiliating!" Principal Kelly moaned. He and Duncan were riding in the back of a police car. It stopped in front of a police station.

"Tell me about it." Duncan grumbled. "Stupid Brotherhood." The car stopped in front of a station.

"Hang on, gentlemen." The officer said. He left them alone in the car. Duncan and Kelly grumbled.

"Hanging me up by my boxers, painting me blue, then covering me in birdseed. I am going to subject them to the first ever school firing squad!" Kelly screamed.

"HEY!!!! AAAAAGH!!!!" A batch of wild dogs leapt into the car and started mauling Duncan and Kelly. "HELP US!!! SOMEONE HELP US!!!! SAVE US!!!! AAAAAAGH!!!!"

Well, looks like the insanity just keeps on coming! What madness will happen next? How will Todd and Lila get back to Earth? What'll Roxor do next? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	11. Try to Escape!

**The Starr Chronicles!**

_To Red Witch: Hey there Red Witch!! Nice to hear from you again! I'll try to get into CallistoLexx's website sometime. I'll see what I can do to get there. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To soulstress: Yeah, Kelly and Duncan aren't safe anywhere! Roxor is scary, and he's a psychopath. Actually, he's not taking over Todd's body. When he switched places with Todd, Roxor actually just switched outfits with him. The uncanny resemblance is the thing that allows Roxor to pose as Todd and is what's getting Todd into the pickle he's in. Good thing he met Lila, huh? I plan for Lila to become more of a sister to Todd, rather than a girlfriend. I'm glad you like Lila. How would you feel if I told you I plan for there to be plenty of Lila stealing the X-Men's stuff? Enjoy!_

_To Aaron: Yep, Lila Cheney has taken the stage! I figured the Brotherhood could use a dark-haired girl that didn't beat Todd up on a regular basis and actually thought he was something other than a punching bag. And Todd could use another friend besides Fred. I'm glad you like the scene at the Brotherhood House and the Kelly and Duncan torture. Roxor is a powerful being, especially with his Cosmic Axe. Anyway, enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Raliena: Well, I figured that Wanda, thanks to her powers and her training from Agatha Harkness, would be in tune with some unseen forces and would be able to sense things that most humans or mutants could not. Anyway, enjoy the new chapter!_

_To RogueFanKC: Yep, I'm bringing in Lila Cheney! Yeah, I can imagine Pietro wishing Roxor could replace Todd in the Brotherhood because Roxor is a heck of a lot stronger than Todd. Yeah, I noticed that 'The Last Muticorn' was gone from my Favorites List. Luckily, and sadly, I took down another story of mine called 'Who's Line is it Anyway, Marvel Style' early. I loved writing that. There was a lot of Scott torture in it._

**Disclaimer: "We don't care! We just want to play Okama Gamesphere." - Stan Marsh, ****South****Park**

Chapter 11: Try to Escape!

**In the prison ship**

The prison spacecraft was a small one, really just a cell with a blue fuselage and rockets. The two occupants were everyone's favorite amphibian boy, Todd Tolensky. He was there because he was mistaken for an intergalactic super-powered madman named Roxor the Ravager. Roxor, targeting Earth as the next planet to fall under his rampage, used his uncanny resemblance to Todd to his advantage: He attacked Toad and switched clothes with him. Now Roxor was on Earth. The other occupant was his new friend Lila Cheney, a musician and one of the galaxy's greatest thieves. Lila laid on a bunk in the cell, playing a harmonica. Todd paced up and down, hands behind his back, thinking of a way to get back to Earth and warn his friends in the Brotherhood.

"Yo Lila!" Todd asked. Lila looked up and stopped playing.

"Mm?"

"Can you take people with you when you teleport?"

"Yeah. I once had to teleport twelve people." Lila blinked. "Why?"

"Well, I was thinking: Why not just use your powers to get us back to Earth?" Todd suggested. Lila blinked.

"Buddy, if I could, you wouldn't have met me." Lila sighed. She took off her glove, revealing a silver bracelet around her wrist. "A power dampener. Some aliens are born with special abilities. Skrulls can shape-shift, for example. You have one, too." Todd looked on his wrist and saw his own bracelet.

"How'd that get there?"

"Came with the cuffs, Toddy." Lila sighed. Todd laid back against the wall in defeat.

"Well, I'm out of ideas." Todd slid down to a sitting position. "Great. I'm going to the big pond in the sky because some alien madman, who happens to look just like me, switched clothes with me and now plans to destroy the Earth. That's just great!"

"Hey, quiet back there!" Officer Halgun snapped from the cockpit. The cockpit was right in front of the cell. He went back to his conversation with his partner, Officer Zarn, who looked a little like the watery Chaos from Sonic Adventure 2. "They did _what?_"

"Well, if we could get these bracelets off, we could teleport back to Earth." Lila whispered. "They have keys on their belts that get these off."

"I don't think that these bracelets affect physical mutations." Todd whispered back. "My tongue may be useful." Lila shrugged.

"Worth a try. Only the fate of our home planet at stake."

**The Brotherhood House**

"AAGH!!!" Lance and Pietro flew through the wall. Fred watched, looking scared. Paul just stood there and blinked. Neither of them could believe it. Todd goes out for a walk, and when he comes back, he becomes violent. He even attacked Wanda after she hexed him for throwing a bad pick-up line.

"I had no idea Todd was that strong." Paul blinked.

"Neither did I." Fred added. "God, it's scary." Roxor turned to them.

"You two idiots have a problem!?" The alien Todd-impersonator snapped.

"Todd, what happened on that walk?" Paul asked.

"I came to a realization, Starr." Todd grumbled. "All my life, I was picked on and treated like garbage by strangers, family, and my so-called 'friends'. Well, it's time for the garbage to fight back. Either you start treating me with the respect I deserve, or I start pounding!"

"Todd, I never thought I'd be scared of you, man." Fred gulped. "You were the first person to ever be anything like a friend to me, man. I'm worried."

"So am I." Paul added. Meanwhile, in Wanda's room, the Scarlet Witch and Craig were talking.

"Craig, something is seriously wrong with Toad. I can sense it." Wanda told the grumbling LA native. He was rubbing his sore arm.

"He's asking to die, _that's_ what wrong with him!" Craig growled. He then looked at Wanda. "Why are you telling _me_ this? Why not Fred, or Lance, or Paul? Fred's Todd's best friend, Lance is the oldest, and Paul's a people person. You wouldn't tell anything to Pietro."

"I…don't really know." Wanda replied after some thought. She looked up at Craig, and she felt her cheeks redden a little. _What is it about this guy? What is wrong with me? _"Maybe…it's just maybe I feel I can talk to you."

**Bayville Police Department**

"Hey!" Duncan Matthews and Senator Robert Kelly screamed as they were thrown in a jail cell, the police dogs finally leaving them alone.

"Let me out! There's a game tomorrow night!" Duncan exclaimed. "And I'm going to need rabies shots again!"

"I'm a senator! I want your badge numbers!" Kelly snapped at the cops.

"Have fun with Bubba, boys." The cops laughed as they walked off, telling their dogs to heel. Duncan Kelly looked at each other.

"Bubba?" They wondered. They heard hick-like laughing. They turned and saw an ugly huge guy with a lazy eye walk towards them, arms out in outstretching. Duncan and Kelly screamed in fright.

"No! Stay back! Bubba, stay back! Bubba! Down, Bubba! Bubba! Bubba, no! Stay back! OH DEAR GOD NO!!!! **_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! HELP US!!!! SAVE US!!!! AAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!"_**

Man, Duncan and Kelly can't stay out of trouble! What insanity will happen next? What will Wanda and Craig do about Roxor? How will Todd and Lila escape? How will Duncan and Kelly get tortured. Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	12. Escape!

**The Starr Chronicles!**

_To Red Witch: Yeah, you can't help but love Bubba! Especially when he gets his hands on Duncan and Principal Kelly! **(Duncan and Kelly: HELP US!!!! OH GOD HELP US!!!!!)** I hope you like this new chapter, Red! Oh yeah, I've been keeping up with you on your stuff! Put up more! MORE!!!_

_To soulstress: Your reviews are always welcome! Yeah, Bubba got some new playmates. There's no more fun way to torture someone you dislike than have them thrown in jail with a big hick named Bubba. Oh yeah, Roxor definitely needs to be taken downtown to __Chinatown__! Todd and Lila will be helping out against Roxor, but first, they need to get their butts to Earth! _

_To Raliena: Hey Rae! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, it is a good thing Todd can pick pockets. Anyway, I hope you like the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "I'm a doctor, not a bricklayer!" - DeForrest Kelley as Dr. Leonard H. McCoy, Star Trek.**

Chapter 12: Escape!

**The prison ship**

"Easy…Easy…" Lila whispered. Todd took careful aim at Officer Zarn's belt. With one shot, he nailed the keyring on his belt with his tongue. He unhooked it and was now carefully and slowly reeling it back. "Easy…Easy…Easy…"

"I got it. I got it. Relath." Todd said quietly. Luckily, the officers were distracted by a conversation that they were in the middle of.

"You are kidding me!" Halgun laughed. "Gordo actually did that?!"

"Yep." Zarn laughed. "The guy ate fifty of those Tortonan doughnuts."

"Yuck! Those things can be used as biological weapons!" Halgun grimaced. "I'm surprised the species that _makes_ 'em can eat just _one_ of 'em!"

"Yeah, and Gordo ate fifty. But you were proven right in the end, man." Zarn smirked, or made a facial expression that was his species' equivalent of a smirk.

"Huh?"

"Gordo puked all over the chief!"

"Oh, by the Gods!" Halgun laughed.

"And his wife." Zarn added.

"Awwwwww…"

"And his mother…"

"Ooh…" Halgun retched.

"_And_ the Planetary Commisioner!"

"Oh boy, it wasn't pretty, was it?"

"Nope." Zarn said. "It wasn't pretty. The Chief grabbed him, tied his limbs in knots, smashed his head repeatedly against a desk, beat him with a stapler, then shoved him up a cruiser's retro-rocket, and then fired the sucker!"

"Which sucker, him or the retro-rocket?" Halgun quipped.

"The retro-rocket." Zarn sighed.

"_AWWWWWW!!!!!_ Those horrible images!" Halgun winced. "Now I think _I'm_ going to be sick!"

"Hurry, Todd!" Lila whispered desperately. "Those two are stupid, but they're not **that** stupid! They won't be distracted forever!"

"I got it! Which one?" Todd whispered. There were three futuristic keys: One silver, one gold, and one black.

"The silver one." Lila answered. Todd noticed the silver one looked like a stamper.

"Are you sure?" Todd blinked.

"Yup." Lila smirked. "Just press it on the band and it shuts off." Todd pushed the stamper key on his silver band, and it disappeared.

"Huh?" Todd blinked.

"It disappears when turned off." Lila explained.

"Oh." Todd did the same for Lila, and her band disappeared. Lila smiled.

"You are something, Tolensky." Lila smiled. Todd sighed.

"Tell that to my friends back home on Earth." Todd sighed. "My friends back home think of me as some goofy idiot who can't do anything right. And this girl I like thinks that I'm some clumsy slimy freak." Lila shot Todd a sympathetic look.

"Well, you just busted me out, pal. You're not so clumsy. And there's this planet called Amphicon. Roxor's a native of that planet. He's an Amphiconian. On that planet you know what you'd be?" Lila smirked.

"What?" Todd asked.

"You'd be to girls on that planet what Brad Pitt is to Earth girls." Lila snickered. "Let's go."

"You know where Bayville is?" Todd asked.

"Not really." Lila replied. "We can teleport to my planet and find out." Lila took Todd's hand.

"Is it safe?" Todd blinked. "I've never been teleported across a galaxy, yo."

"Relax. I'm a pro." Lila grinned. She closed her eyes, and the two mutants disappeared in a flash of light.

**Lila's Planet**

Todd and Lila appeared in a flash of light just in front of her house.

"Sweet." Todd shook his head. "Kurt Wagner ain't got squat on you, yo."

"Who's Kurt Wagner?" Lila asked.

"This blue fuzzy demon-like jerk from Earth. He's German, and a teleporter himself." Todd grumbled. Lila blinked. "Of course, he can't teleport across a galaxy. Only around three miles."

"Wow." Lila nodded. "You sure are good at observing people."

"Well, when you are forced on the outside your whole life, you learn to observe people." Todd shrugged. Lila thought about that.

"Yeah, I see your point there. C'mon. I got an atlas. Let's look up where Bayville is. I can't take you there if I don't know where it is."

"Okay, yo. I'll tell you about my other friends in the Brotherhood." Lila and Todd raced inside.

**Meanwhile, Back on Earth, at Bayville High to be exact**

"_Kickin__' Axe/That's my goal in life/No need for love and a wife/Kickin' Axe…_" Jubilee sang happily, bopping to the song blasting from her radio into her headphones.

"What _are_ you listening to?" Jean asked, sitting down at the lunch table next to her.

"The new song by the Rock 'n' Roll Cavaliers. They're the band Kid Razor sings for. It's called 'Kickin' Axe.'." Jubilee grinned. "They are the best band ever!"

"I'm sure they are." Jean chuckled. They saw Todd walk by. Or at least, they _thought_ it was Todd. "Jubilee, did you see that? He's walking."

"Yeah, and there's something about him that seems off too." Jubilee blinked. "He seems…darker. Almost…evil. It's kind of scary when you think about it." 'Todd' walked by Duncan Matthews and a couple other jocks.

"Oh look, the Toad." Duncan smirked. He and two cronies surrounded Todd, who was actually Roxor. Roxor sneered.

"Oh look. Duncan Matthews and the Moron Boys. What's the matter fellas, are you so disgusted by what you see in the mirror that you have to take it out on others?" Roxor smirked.

"Shut up and take your pounding!" Duncan snapped. The jocks moved in on Roxor, but the madman was too fast. The jocks started to throw punches, but Roxor leapt up, and took the two cronies down with a split kick. He then landed and punched Duncan hard in the stomach and groin with two punches. Duncan howled in pain. Roxor finished him off by slamming his head into the table hard, knocking Duncan cold. The other students watched in shock.

"Wow! Twice in a row Duncan got whooped!"

"Oh my God! He's snapped."

"The Toad has snapped!" Some students backed away in fright. Roxor smirked at them evilly.

"That's right, you pitiful students. Fear me." Roxor smirked. Behind him, a bunch of wild dogs leapt on Duncan's prone body and started mauling him.

"I never thought I'd say this, but I'm scared of Toad." Jean put her hands over her mouth.

**Principal Kelly's office**

"Booze…my biggest friend…" Principal Kelly smiled as he guzzled down a bottle of whiskey. "_I drink alone/Yeahhhhhh, with nobody else…_" Kelly got up and went to his private vending machine for some candy. Suddenly… "AAAAGH!!!! STUPID DOGS!!!! OWWWWWW!!!!!" Kelly screamed as a pack of wild dogs attacked him out of nowhere. "WHERE DO THEY COME FROM?!?! HELP!!!" He knocked into the machine causing it to start tilting back and forth. The dogs leapt off Kelly as the vending machine started to topple. It fell over, landing on Kelly. "OWWWWWW!!!!"

Well, well, well! Looks like things may just get better after all. What insanity will happen next? What'll Roxor do next? Will Todd and Lila be able to get back home and save the day? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	13. Bonding!

**The Starr Chronicles!**

_To Raliena: Hey Rae! Nice to hear from you again! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, good thing Lila came into Todd's life, huh? Well, anyway, I hope you like the new chapter!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there, Red Witch! I have been keeping up with "This Soap Opera Called Life", and I like the new chapters you got up! You want to know my honest opinion about something? I don't think they went into this much in the comics, but I honestly think that Feral is demonstrating the symptoms of a typical sociopath. She knows the difference between right and wrong, but she doesn't essentially care. She never seemed to display any form of empathy based on what I heard about her. I don't really know, since I have none of the old X-Force comics with her, and all my knowledge of psychiatry or psychology or whatever comes from the 'Law and Order' shows. Anyway, on another topic, I'm very glad you liked the __Duncan__ torture with him and his boys getting pounded by Roxor. I'm also glad you liked seeing Kelly get crushed by the vending machine. I also hope you like this new chapter!_

_To soulstress: It wasn't the **drinks** that took down Kelly, it was the vending machine, baby! AAAAOWW!!! Yeah, Todd and Lila escaped to Lila's little blue planet. I'm very glad you liked seeing Roxor beat the snot out of __Duncan__ and his boys. Man, they can't get a break! And Craig didn't even **need** to use his powers to beat the heck out of Duncan and his boys. Oh, I just love a scared Jean. It's so much fun to scare the pants off her. Anyway, I'm glad you liked the last chapter, and I really hope you enjoy the new one._

**Disclaimer: "Oh my God. She's so drunk." - Shaun, Shaun of the Dead.**

Chapter 13: Bonding

**Lila's home**

"Freaking out, yo…Freaking out, yo…Freaking out, yo…Freaking out, yo…" Todd mumbled as he paced quickly up and down the wall of Lila's living room. It was full of futuristic space-themed furniture, obviously stuff Lila either stole or paid for with stolen money. "Freaking out…bad day, bad day, bad day, yo…"

"Will you _relax!?_" Lila groaned as she threw random objects out of a box. "We'll be fine. We'll save the day! Now if only I could find my #$&$ atlas…" Lila muttered and cursed as she threw random objects out of a trunk in the room.

"Hey watch it!" Todd exclaimed as he dodged an anchor.

"Sorry." Lila apologized. She pulled out a trout and wrinkled her nose. "How'd _that_ get in there?!" She threw out the trout and searched some more. "So tell me about your friends in this 'Brotherhood of Mutants'."

"Well, there's Pietro. He's got silver hair and he's a jerk with super speed. The man is so vain, and he's so mean to me." Todd started.

"I've met guys like him." Lila said. "I hate those kind of guys. Egocentric, thinking they're the greatest on two legs…or four…or three, depending on who you're talking about."

"Wow." Todd blinked. "Yeah, Pietro's a real pain. But his fraternal twin sister Wanda…" Todd sighed happily. "A beautiful crimson angel…"

"She your girlfriend?"

"Well, not really. She's crazy about me, but she hides it by using her hex-bolts to smack me everywhere." Todd replied. Lila shook her head. "What?"

"Sounds like she hates your guts." Lila replied. _When it comes to this guy, the phrase 'Love is blind' is no joke. I can't imagine how hurt he will be when he finally figures out that this Wanda girl doesn't love him._ She pulled out something that made her smile: A golden Gibson guitar. "Goldie! I've looked everywhere for you!" Lila hugged her prized golden guitar.

"You play guitar?" Todd asked.

"Yeah. And keyboards." Lila replied. "Why?"

"My friends Paul and Lance play, too." Todd said. "Lance Alvers can create earthquakes. He gets angry a lot and has a lot of headaches. Paul Starr is a pretty cool guy. He dresses like he got time-tossed from the 80s. He also makes girls go nuts. Lance and Paul are both guitar players. Oh yeah! Paul has an identical twin brother named Craig. The guy's nuts, and has a tendency to beat up people. He's roughed me up a little bit, but he loathes Pietro. He's given Pietro a few punches here and there. He also plays a mean bass guitar. It's as mean as he is."

"I like 'em already." Lila put her guitar on the table and went back to the trunk. "Ah-_ha!_ I **found** it!" Lila produced her atlas, grinning happily. "Here it is!" She opened it up. "In what country is Bayville in?"

"New York, U.S.A." Todd answered. Lila flipped through the book.

"Here it is!" Lila pointed at the map. "Uh oh."

"What's 'uh oh'? 'Uh oh' is not good." Todd said. "Unless it's a joke. _Please_ tell me that that particular 'uh oh' is a joke."

"It's…no joke, Froggy." Lila said to him sadly. "I can teleport, but I can only teleport to places I've been to before. And…I've never been to Bayville before." Lila sighed.

"OH IF THAT DON'T BEAT ALL!!!" Toad yelled angrily.

"Whoa, easy!" Lila calmed Todd down. "According to the map, the nearest town is Mapletown. I _can_ go there." Lila said. "I swiped three hundred bucks down there. It was one of my first thefts on Earth." Lila sighed happily. "Before we go, I need to make sure I have something." Lila ran out of the room. Then she returned, she had added a black studded belt to her costume. On it was a belt clip that contained several futuristic lockpicks.

"What're those?" Todd pointed at the lockpicks.

"A spare set of lockpicks. They open 90 of the galaxy's locks. Nothing yet put out on earth can stump these babies." Lila grinned. "Just in case I feel like doing a little shopping…"

"Let's go, already. I shudder to think what that loon Roxor is doing as me, yo." Todd sighed.

"No problem. And on the way, you should tell me more about the Brotherhood." Lila nodded. She took Todd's hand and the two disappeared in a flash of light.

**Bayville****Hospital**

**"()" - muffled talk**

Duncan Matthews and Principal Kelly laid in side-by-side hospital beds. They were covered in bandages, and they moaned in pain, their cries muffled by their bandages and their casts.

"(Oh, God what a bad day.)" Duncan moaned. _I still can't believe it! The Toad…The **Toad**…The **TOAD** kicked my arse! How is that possible?! **HOW?!** It defies the laws of man and God!_

"(I hate my life.)" Kelly moaned. _What'd I do? What'd I do wrong? All I wanted to do was be the principal of a school, but everywhere I go, disaster strikes! I got crushed by a vending machine, smothered in manure, and worse! Oh God, why me?_

"Mr. Matthews, Mr. Kelly, someone here to see you." An orderly peeked in. Two figures, clad in long brown trenchcoats and hats, walked in and stood in front of the two. The orderly closed the door.

"(What?!)" The two asked together. Suddenly, the trenchcoats flew open, revelaing a pack of wild dogs who leapt on the two and started mauling them.

"(AAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!!!!!!!)" Kelly and Duncan screamed.

Well, looks like the insanity will continue! What madness will happen next? What'll happen to Lila and Todd back on Earth? What is Roxor doing now? Will this story have any real plot? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	14. A Crazy Chapter!

**The Starr Chronicles**

_To Raliena: Hey there, Rae! I'm glad you like the last chapter. I'm also glad you liked my interpretation of Lila Cheney. Anyway, I hope you like the new chapter, and I will have more Lila for you!_

_To soulstress: Hmm…well, to be honest with you, I honestly have no idea why the dogs constantly attack Duncan and Kelly. And I'm the one writing this stuff! You want a set of skeleton keys like Lila's, huh? Well, I'll talk to her and see if she can get a set made for you. I'm glad you liked my interpretation of Lila. Oh yes, it is fun to write Toad freaking out. It's funny to watch him freak out. If you thought my last chapter was funny, you are going to fall out of your seat laughing with this one! I hope you like it!_

_To Red Witch: I'm glad you liked the last chapter! I've been keeping up with "This Soap Opera Called Life". Can I offer my honest opinion? I think Graydon Creed hates mutants out of jealousy. Think about it. His mom's a shapeshifter, his dad's a feral, his sister's a leech, his brother's a teleporter. What does he get? Squat! Not even the ability to make loops with his tongue. Wouldn't that make anyone jealous if all the rest of your family had superpowers and you had none? And Roxor will get his. I hope you like the new chapter!_

_To Aaron: Yeah, I am planting the seeds for the formation of the Superstars. Could you imagine how angry Scott would be to find out members of the **Brotherhood** are famous rockers. I can imagine that Toad is not going to be a happy man when he gets back to Bayville, and Lila's going to find out that using Pietro as a punching bag is fun. Anyway, I hope you like the new chapter!_

**Author's Note: I pay tribute to one of my favorite movies in this chapter. Find the tribute and guess the movie, and you get a No-Prize!**

**Disclaimer: "Superman isn't hurt by fire! Superman would _laugh_ at this energy blast!" - Hank Henshaw/Cyborg Superman, The Return of Superman**

Chapter 14: A Crazy Chapter!

**Bayville High**

Paul Starr, the 80s-dressing mutant, was putting his stuff into his locker. He was happily humming some old obscure rock song, and his locker was decorated with small photos of classic rock bands.

"Hi, Paul." A smiling Tabby purred, walking up to Paul. Paul grinned.

"Hey, Tabby-cat." Paul replied. "What's up with you?"

"Nothing much." Tabby replied. "Did you hear?"

"Hear about what?" Paul blinked.

"There's a big costume party coming up." Tabby grinned.

"Really? I didn't think there'd be another dance after that insanity with Forge and the experiments and Kurt and the dino things and the screaming and yelling and the Kelly going nuts and Duncan getting set on fire and all that."

"How'd you know about that?" Tabby blinked.

"Rogue told me." Paul shrugged.

"Oh. I see." Tabby said. "It's not like that. It's down at the Bayville Youth Center, not here at the school. Anyway, can you come with me? Please? Pretty Please?" Tabby made a cute face. Paul chuckled.

"Tabitha, you are a riot." Paul laughed. "If none of the other girls ask, I'll go with you, okay?" Tabby squeaked in delight. "It is strange. Halloween isn't for about a month."

"It's not going to be for a couple weeks, but I wanted to get my date in early." Tabby grinned as she walked away.

**The Acolytes' base**

In the base of Magneto's Acolytes, Magneto himself was in his room, plotting his latest evil scheme. He was kneeling in front of his bed, using it as a platform for his latest plot…if one could call it that.

"At last, I shall defeat you Charles and mutants shall take their rightful place as rulers of the Earth!" He took a doll-size metal statue of himself and used it to knock over one of Professor X. "Hey, what'd you do to my friend?!" he moved around a metal doll of Wolverine, imitating his growly voice. "The same thing I am going to do to you, Dogface." He said in his normal voice, knocking over a metal doll statue of Wolverine with the Magneto doll statue. He also did the same to metal doll statues of Storm, Cyclops, and Nightcrawler. He then took a Barbie doll and started talking in a girly voice. "You monster! You killed them! You are a monster…and yet…I am strangely attracted to you." He switched to his normal voice. "Of course! I am the master of regular and animal magnetism. I also have money and power, things that I _know_ you find attractive."

"BOSS LADY!!" The crazy teenage blond Australian mutant codenamed Pyro yelled as he peeked in the room. Born St. John Allerdyce from Sydney, John had the mutant ability to control flame and shape it to his whim. He was also immune to the effects of searing flame and heat. He could not create flame, depending on an external flame source, like his flamethrowers or his lighter. He also happened to be nuts.

"AGH!!! WHAT?!" Magneto screamed in shock, quickly gathering his dolls and hiding them from Pyro's sight by hugging them close to his chest. He then blinked when he realized what John just called him. _Boss lady?___

"Cortez got himself stuck in the washing machine again and…" Pyro started to explain.

"You know **never** to disturb me at this time!" Magneto screamed, interrupting John.

"Sorry, boss lady! It's an emergency!" Pyro yelped in a frightened voice. Magneto sighed.

"Fine, I'll get him out later." Magneto sighed. Pyro started to leave. "Pyro?" Magneto asked.

"Yeah, boss lady?" Pyro blinked.

"Did you see anything?" Magneto asked in a slight panic.

"No, boss lady. I didn't see you playing with your dolls again." Pyro replied simply.

"GOOD!! Uhm, I mean…" Magneto cleared his throat. "Gather the others."

"Yes, boss lady." Pyro closed the door. "Weirdo." The loony Australian sighed and shook his head sadly as he walked off.

"And stop driving people nuts with your drumming, Allerdyce!" Magneto snapped.

**A road leading into Bayville**

Lila and Todd managed to get back to Earth without a scratch, and they had gotten themselves a ride heading for Bayville. They were riding in a green pickup with pigs in the back, and a hick behind the wheel.

"Now, your Jersey pigs from your New York pigs in three major aspects…" The hick talked on and on about pigs, completely oblivious to the fact that neither Lila nor Todd were listening.

"I am going to **kill** that alien psychotic for this." Todd growled as he stared out the window. "He is so dead."

"You're not the only one." Lila agreed. "He killed a friend of mine. Good luck facing him."

"Huh?" Todd blinked.

"Roxor's pretty tough on his own, but he becomes almost invincible when he has his Cosmic Axe. It can slice through practically any material. It also gives him flight ability, makes him invulnerable, the ability to fire energy blasts, and enhances his strength by quite a lot." Lila sighed. "That axe channels cosmic power. However, there is one weakness: If Roxor loses the Cosmic Axe, then most of his power is gone."

"Yeah, but something tells me that he's not exactly going to let that axe leave his hands easily, yo." Todd sighed.

**Outside ****Bayville****Hospital**

**"()" - muffled talk**

"Okay, gentlemen…" An orderly wheeled Kelly and Duncan outside. "Now I'll be right back. I just have to get something." The orderly ran back inside.

"(Pain…immense, immeasurable pain…)" Kelly moaned.

"(And it hurts too…)" Duncan groaned in agreement. The two heard barking.

"(Oh no, not again.)" They begged together. "(AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!!!!!!)" Duncan and Kelly screamed as they got mauled by wild dogs. "(NOT AGAIN!!!! HELP!!!)" The dogs caused Duncan and Kelly to roll into the street, and onto a pair of train tracks. The dogs leapt off the twosome, and a train raced down the track, trying to stop, and honking its horn. Kelly and Duncan let out muffled screams before the train hit them, sending them flying into the back of a manure truck. "(OH _THIS_ IS **_DISGUSTING!!! YECH!!!!_**)"

Well, looks like the madness just keeps on coming! What insanity will happen next? What's up with the costume party? What'll happen to Duncan and Kelly next? Has Magneto gone 'round the bend? Can Lila and Todd get to Bayville? What is Roxor doing now? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	15. Forces About To Collide!

**The Starr Chronicles!**

_To Sparky Genocide: I'm glad you liked the scene. It was a tribute to a hilarious scene in one of my favorite movies, Mel Brooks's 'Spaceballs'. I realized that in some occasions, Magneto could be like Dark Helmet. Why does John call Magneto 'Boss Lady'? Well, you have to understand: John's nuts. He's not quite wired correctly. He probably finds amusement in calling ol' Magnet Man that. Yeah, the other girls will ask Paul out, and it will not be pretty. Not be pretty indeed._

_To Red Witch: And give the lady a No-Prize! Yes, it was a 'Spaceballs' reference! I do want to put in more, but I have no idea what to do next. I can't do that scene with beaming, nor can I use that desert scene. Maybe the Mr. Radar screen. Oh well, I hope you like more of this story! Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Raliena: Hey Rae! Well technically, Roxor has no idea that Todd has come back to Earth and is coming for his blood. Not to mention those none-too-bright space cops most likely haven't quite figured out that Toad had escaped with Lila Cheney, the galaxy's greatest rock 'n' roll thief. I think Lila just may find a reason to stay on Earth because of a certain X-Man…Hope you like the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "Put the car down!" - Michael McKean as Norman Seedling, "Coneheads"**

Chapter 15: Forces About To Collide!

**Rikki's Record Store, Bayville**

Rikki's Record Store was a record store that sold CDs, tapes and instruments. Paul Starr had gotten himself a little job there to help out the Brotherhood with money. A certain Southern Goth walked into the store. She smiled at him.

"Hey sugah."

"Hey Roguey." Paul grinned. "What's up?"

"Nothing much." Rogue responded. "Did mah order come in?"

"I think so. Let me check." Paul went out back. When he returned, he was holding a CD. "The new Marilyn Manson CD. Personally, I recommend Alice Cooper. In my honest opinion, Alice Cooper is better. But then again, I love 70s and 80s music better than modern stuff."

"To each his own." Rogue said. "Ah had no idea you worked here."

"I just started." Paul grinned. Two other employees watched.

"I hate that guy." One snorted. "He dressed like he got kicked out of a bad 80s dance movie and the girls flock to him." The other nodded.

"Yyyyyyup."

"Did you know about the big Halloween Dance at the Youth Center?" Rogue asked.

"I thought you don't like those kinds of things." Paul blinked.

"Well, Ah can tolerate it…If Ah can come with you." Rogue purred. Paul gulped.

"Uhm Rogue, Tabby already asked me. I said I'd think about it." Paul said.

"Oh she _did_, huh? Well, we'll see about that! Thanks for the CD, sugah." Rogue walked out.

**Just outside Bayville**

"I swear…" Lila muttered under her breath. "If this guy doesn't shut up about pigs, I am going to…"

"Forget him, Lila." Todd sighed. "It's Roxor that concerns me. Who knows what that madman is up to. And people will end up thinking **_I_** am doing it! Those moronic space cops think so!"

"Speaking of the Keystone Kops of Space, I wonder what they're doing now?" Lila wondered, putting her finger on her chin.

**In Space**

"Check on the perps, Zarn." Halgun ordered. Zarn looked behind him at the cell. He noticed it was empty.

"They got away." He said nonchalantly.

"Oh, okay." Halgun shrugged. The two alien cops hummed the theme to 'Cop Rock' happily for a couple minutes, and then they realized something.

"THEY ESCAPED!!!!!!! **_OH &$!!!!!!!!!!!!_**"

**The Brotherhood House**

In Todd Tolensky's room, Roxor was using an old sock…one that wasn't snarling at him, to polish his beloved Cosmic Axe, a mighty weapon of unknown origin. The weapon channeled ambient cosmic energies into its wielder, granting the wielder incredible strength and power. There was only one weakness to the Axe: One could only access the power the Axe channeled if the wielder was in physical contact with the Axe, much like Thor's hammer Mjolnir or Kid Razor's enchanted guitar. Downstairs, Lance, Fred, Paul, and Pietro were watching television.

"Nothing on but the local town meeting on public access." Lance moaned.

"I don't know. Toad seemed awfully interested in this whole thing." Pietro noted. "Anyone find that weird?"

"I stopped thinking anything Todd did was weird when he collected garden gnomes." Lance sighed.

"Garden gnomes?" Paul blinked. "Anyone seen Wanda and Craig?"

"Why not contact Craig telepathically?" Lance asked.

"Our link works like a telephone line. One can send, and the other can choose to or not to receive." Paul explained. "I _can_ call him telepathically, but Craig may not choose to 'pick up the phone'."

"Ahh." Lance explained.

"I don't like him." Pietro scowled. "Something about that guy. Wanda's been acting…strange around him."

"She likes him." Paul chuckled. "I can tell. The Scarlet Witch has her first crush."

"What?!" Pietro said. "You didn't just say that! _Tell me_ you didn't just say that!"

"Pietro, you were barely in her life. I doubt that she would care if you approve of anyone she dated." Blob rolled his eyes. "It could be worse. She could be dating an android or something."

"I'd love to see you flip out over that." Lance laughed. "I'd pay cold hard cash to see that."

"Yeah, sure." Pietro crossed his arms and rolled his eyes. "And I expect I'm going to be on a team of superheroes who operate out of a fancy mansion, and I will end up going nuts at some point."

"I wouldn't be surprised if that happened." Paul snickered. Upstairs, Wanda and Craig were outside Todd's room, listening in.

"Todd's been acting weird. Big deal. Why should I care?" Craig whispered.

"That's not Todd." Wanda said. "I got a funny feeling that whoever that guy is, it's not Todd. For one, Todd isn't this competent nor that skilled a fighter. And two, where'd he get that weird axe? He fawns over it like a girlfriend or something."

"Maybe he stole it from the sci-fi exhibit at the museum. And knowing him, it's the closest thing to a girlfriend _he'll_ have." Craig joked.

"He's leaving." Wanda observed Roxor leap out the window, then fly away in a field of golden light. "What the--?!" Wanda hexed the door down. "I saw him _fly!!_ How?!"

"That axe must've done it!" Craig realized.

"What in the name of everything holy is going on here?!" Wanda asked as she looked into the sky.

"Something tells me there's more going on here than just Todd's attitude change." Craig said.

**Principal Kelly's House**

Principal Robert Kelly drove up to his house.

"Oh, what a day." Kelly sighed as he left his car. He pulled out a flask from his jacket and started guzzling down the contents. "Ahh, nothing like a little Dutch courage." He opened up his door and a group of wild dogs leapt at him. "AAAAAAAGH!!!!!! NOT AGAIN!!!!! OWWWWWWW!!!!!!!! WHY GOD WHY?!?!?!?!?!?" Kelly stumbled into the street. A horn started beeping, and the dogs leapt off him and ran off. "Huh?" Kelly saw a tractor-trailer bear down on him. "Oh no." **_WHAM!!!!_** "**_OWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_**"

**A rival high school**

It was a tradition that the members of Bayville High School's football team did the night before every game. Home or away, it did not matter. They would go to the rival school and cover the building in toilet paper.

"Okay, boys!" Duncan said to his fellow athletes, who were driving up in a van. "Lock 'n' load!" The football players rushed out, carrying what appeared to be bazookas and boxes full of eggs and toilet paper. Duncan was like General Patton leading his troops. He told his men to take positions and fire the bazookas. They sprayed eggs and toilet paper all over the building. Duncan smiled. "Can you smell that school spirit, boys?" He took a deep sniff. "Ahhhh, the scent of the Gods' Nectar." He heard barking. "What? AAAAAAAGH!!!!" A pack of wild dogs attacked him. "AUGH!!! $#& DOGS!!!!" The dogs caused him to stumble toward a manhole. They leapt off him and Duncan fell into the manhole. "AAAAAUGH!!!! **_YECH!!!!! THIS IS SICK!!!!_**"

Well, well, well, looks like forces are just about to collide! What madness will happen next? What will happen to Kelly and Duncan next? What'll Todd do to Roxor? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	16. Roxor Attacks!

**The Starr Chronicles!**

_To Kaishin Briefs: Hello! It's nice to hear from you! I'm very glad you liked my story! Here's more insanity for you. Do I accept OCs? It depends. My universe is pretty crammed with characters as it is, but I'd love to see what you got! Please put me on your Favorite Author and your Author Alert list! Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there Red Witch! I've been keeping up the new chapter of 'This Soap Opera Called Life', and I am amazed that Evan gets that much fan mail. Next thing you know, Public Enemy will record a song for him, ha ha! Maybe you should mention that. There's an idea for you. I'm sure Evan would be thrilled to hear that. Morlocks beat up __Duncan__, huh? Well, I'll see about that. A funny thing happened to me. I sent an e-mail to you, and I got a response from someone in __Alabama__! I guess I screwed up the address. How weird is that? Anyway, I hope you enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Raliena: Hey there, Rae! Well, Roxor's making his big move, and you can bet that Wanda and Craig are going to try and do something about it! I hope you like the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "Look kids, a falling star. Make a wish." David Spade on Eddie Murphy, Saturday Night Live**

Chapter 16: Roxor Attacks!

**The Xavier Institute, that night**

"I wonder what's on tonight?" Scott wondered. He flipped through the television channels. "Nothing on but that town meeting. It's been going on all day! Don't the Aldermen of this town have anything better to do with their days?" He heard squabbling coming from the next room.

"_I'm_ taking him out to the party!"

"No, _Ah_ am!"

"Oh brother…" Scott grumbled. He walked into the dining room, and he saw Tabby and Rogue squabble. "What's going on here?"

"Scott, tell Rogue here that she's insane!" Tabby whined.

"_Ah'm_ nuts?! _You're_ the psycho!" Rogue snapped.

"Okay, okay, what's going on?" Scott wondered.

"Well Scott, I'm taking Paul to the Halloween Dance Party at the Youth Center. The thing is Ms. Southern-Jezebel over here…" Rogue's jaw dropped at that comment. "…thinks that that total hottie Paul Starr would see anything in her! I'm surprised he's not scared of her!"

"Look who's talking, Klepto Queen!" Rogue shouted. "He's mine! He's taking me! He said to me that Ah was the prettiest Goth he ever saw!"

"He was feeling sorry for you!" Tabby shouted back.

"You're a hag!" Rogue screamed.

"You're a witch!" Tabby screamed back.

"He's too much man for you!"

"You can't even touch him!" Tabby smirked. Rogue roared and tackled Tabby. A catfight ensued.

"Hey hey hey! Stop it! Calm down!" Scott tried to pull them apart. Tabby and Rogue smacked him into a wall and then the two X-Girls started catfighting again. "Ow…" Scott whimpered as he slid to the floor. "Oh…" _I knew it! I **knew** the Brotherhood and that Paul Starr guy was up to something…uhh…me sleepy now…_

**The ****Bayville****Town Hall**

The Aldermen of Bayville were doing typical town business. It was a televised meeting, and there was an audience in attendance.

"Okay, somebody had better get to the bottom of the mystery of how the heck that the fountain in town square now spits out chocolate syrup instead of water." One said. "Now for new business."

"New business: Town Leadership." A voice said. The audience looked around, murmuring. So did the Aldermen. Suddenly, Roxor busted into the room through the ceiling. He floated down, clad in a black costume, carrying his Cosmic Axe. "And I believe I am best for the job."

"Wait a minute! I know you!" One guy from the audience snapped, pointing at Roxor. "You're that Tolensky kid! You stole my lawn gnomes!" Roxor sneered.

**A 24-hour convenience mart in Bayville**

"Where the heck could that madman be?" Lila grumbled. She was standing in front of the store. Todd came out, eating a bag of chips.

"Let's think logically, yo." Todd suggested. "If I were an intergalactic madman bent on ruling the world, where would I start?" Lila thought about that for a second.

"Well, anywhere that has to do with government…" Lila noticed something. "Hey…what's that?" She pointed up in the sky. Todd looked up and saw a golden streak in the sky.

"I have no idea, yo…Oh God!" He saw the streak crash into Bayville Town Hall. Todd and Lila looked at each other.

"Roxor!" They exclaimed together.

"Let's haul!" Lila said.

**The ****Bayville****Town Hall******

"No, I am not that pathetic human. I am Roxor, the galaxy's greatest conqueror. I want your planet. Surrender it, and you may live, if I am in the mood to allow that. Fail to heed my warning, and you shall die. Although to be honest with you, I plan to kill you all anyway."

"Yeah, right!" The man laughed. "Listen frog-boy, I don't know how much sugar you've consumed but AAGH!!!" The man was blasted with a golden beam from Roxor's Cosmic Axe.

"I suggest you shut your mouth." Roxor scowled. "That was merely a stun blast. Next time you open it, I _will_ kill you."

**The Brotherhood House**

"Hey guys, come here and look at this!" Lance leaned closer to the TV. Pietro, Fred, and Paul gathered around the television.

"Little buddy?" Fred blinked as he saw Roxor.

"Toad? What happened to him?" Pietro wondered.

"That's not Todd." A voice said. The Brotherhood looked up and saw Wanda and Craig on the stairs.

"What?" Paul wondered.

"Whoever or whatever _he_ is, it's not Todd." Craig said.

"How do you know?" Lance wondered.

"I could tell." Wanda replied. "I first noticed when he attacked me. The real Toad never attacked me. He was never that competent, nor that good a fighter."

"And how'd you know, Craig?" Fred asked Craig.

"I have instincts. And they went crazy around him, telling me something was up. It was confirmed when he fought me off."

"What was up with that axe?" Pietro wondered.

"Something tells me we'll find the answers at Town Hall." Fred said.

"So let's get to Town Hall and find out what the heck's going on!" Lance snapped.

"Let's go! I have a feeling this guy knows what happened to Todd." Paul added. The Brotherhood ran outside to Lance's jeep, and they raced off at top speed towards Town Hall.

**The local jail**

"I can't believe we ended up in jail again." Kelly grumbled.

"It could be worse. We could be stuck with Bubba." Duncan sighed. _I hated the sewers. That crazy chick with an eyepatch stated smacking me! I barely got out alive! _A guard came up to them.

"Okay, boys, you clowns are free." He opened the door. "Hey!" A bunch of dogs raced in the cell and started mauling the two.

"**_AAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!_****_ HELP US!!!!!_**"

Well, well, well! Looks like the madness never ends! What insanity will happen next? Can the Brotherhood take on Roxor? How will the X-Men react to all of this? Will Toad and Lila make it in time to do any good? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	17. Let the Big Bad Brawl Begin!

**The Starr Chronicles!**

_To redgirl: Hello redgirl! Nice to hear from you! I'm glad you liked the story so far! Please enjoy the new chapter, and I hope you put me o your Author Alert and Favorite Authors list!_

_To Raliena: Hey Rae! Yeah, Roxor and the Brotherhood are finally going to face off. Yeah, the Starrs will be helping out in the battle. Enjoy the new chapter, Rae!_

_To Kaishin Briefs: AHAHAHAHAHA!!!! That was one heck of a funny skit you did. Thanks a lot. Oh yeah, if you want any info on my characters, don't be afraid to e-mail me! I'll gladly give you information on my characters. Anyway, I'll show the X-Men's reactions to the whole thing. I also like your character of Jonas "Cyclonus" Michaels. He sounds like an interesting character. I just may find somewhere for him. He sounds like an interesting character. I never really saw Wolf's Rain, so I have no idea of his skin tone. You'll have to explain further on that. And his crush. Is 'Starfire' from the Teen Titans or another original character? Oh yeah, and you bet the X-Girls at least will come to help Paul…well, the X-Girls that aren't busy fighting amongst themselves over who is going with Paul to the party and giving Scott a migraine in the process. I hope you enjoy this new chapter full of insanity! You should read Chapter 15 for some real hilarity and a demonstration of how warped Magneto is._

_To Red Witch: Oh yeah, here's more insanity coming up! I kind of figured you weren't from __Alabama__. I've been keeping up with "This Soap Opera Called Life" and "Living with Mutants can be Hazardous to Your Health" and I loved them! I cannot **wait** for more insanity from you, Red!_

**Disclaimer: "Can someone _please_ provide me with Cliff's Notes on what the candidates stand on? If we had those, more people would vote because then we'd be able to figure out what the heck the candidates are saying!" - Me**

Chapter 17: Let the Big Bad Brawl Begin!

**Bayville****Town Hall**

"Looks like we got here in time." Lance said as the Brotherhood stopped in front of the Town Hall. The mutants were all clad in their costumes. Paul's makeshift costume was a purple leather jacket, a black t-shirt with a silver 5-pointed star on the chest, black biker gloves, and a pair of purple leather pants with white boots and a white studded belt. Criag's was simply a leather jacket, t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers, all black. The Brotherhood saw people running out of the town hall. "Let's go!" The Brotherhood raced in. Meanwhile, a car pulled up in front of the Town Hall when the Brotherhood ran in. Todd, in costume, leapt out, Lila with him.

"Thanks for letting me get my costume, yo." Todd smiled.

"No problem." Lila replied. "Let's go!"

**The Xavier Institute**

Jamie Madrox, the young Institute dweller known as Multiple for his mutant powers to make clones of himself, was in the Common Room. He was watching TV, slurping from a Big Gulp cup. He sighed as he heard Tabby and Rogue argue in the next room over which one of them was going to the Halloween party at the Youth Center. Multiple sighed.

_Girls are weird. Very, very weird. _Jamie continued drinking his soda pop. He performed a huge spit take when a Special Report came on the TV.

"And in other news, a madman wielding some form of odd weapon has invaded Bayville's Town Mall." The newscaster started. Jamie coughed and hacked so he couldn't hear it.

"What?!" He exclaimed when he finally got back the ability to breathe. The newscaster appeared to glare at him.

"I **_said_**, there's a madman at Bayville Town Hall going nuts and wielding a funny weapon! If you just drank slowly, you may have been able to hear me the first time!" The newscaster snapped. The normal program resumed. Jamie blinked at the TV.

"Stupid interactive TV." Jamie grumbled. He then blinked for a minute as he replayed what the newscaster said in his head. "Uh oh. **_SCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTT!!!!!!!!_**" He ran away.

**The ****Bayville****Town Hall**

Roxor stood menacingly over the Aldermen, who were crouching in a cowardly manner in the corner of the building. He smiled evilly has he pointed the laser cannon barrel part of his Cosmic Axe at the town leaders. The barrel started glowing yellow with cosmic power.

"Say goodbye, pathetic humans." Roxor snarled. "Hey!" The ground underneath him suddenly buckled, causing him to point his axe in the air. The cosmic blast that was building up in the Axe's cannon fired upwards, blowing a hole in the ceiling. "WHAT?!" He turned around and saw the Brotherhood.

"Okay pal! Who are you?! And where's Toad?!" Lance snapped.

"I am Roxor the Ravager, Conqueror of the Stars." Roxor laughed. "Your 'Toad', as you refer to him, is going away for a few centuries."

"THINK AGAIN, YO!!" Todd leapt down through the hole, and he grabbed Roxor in a sleeper hold. Lila peeked down from the building ceiling.

"Unhand me, you creature!" Roxor gasped.

"I'm gonna make sure you go to Space Jail, yo!" Todd yelled.

"Huh?" The other members of the Brotherhood blinked.

"He's an alien!" Todd exclaimed.

"Let's get out of here and get drunk!" One of the Aldermen said to the others.

"Good idea!" The other Aldermen chorused. They took full advantage of the distraction that the mutants provided and ran like rabbits out of the building towards the nearest town hall.

"Toad, get off him!" Wanda ordered. "We can't use our powers on him until you get off!" Roxor fired his axe's energy beams every which way. One beam hit the ceiling, causing it to explode. A scream was heard.

"LILA!" Todd exclaimed.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!" Lila screamed as the blast sent her flying upwards in the air. Lila started falling. Suddenly, she found herself caught in midair, by Sam Guthrie.

"You alright?" He asked her. Sam Guthrie was another Xavier Institute student, a Kentucky-born mutant codenamed Cannonball for his mutant power to fire himself into the air like a rocket. He and Lila stared at each other.

"Ooh, where have you been all my life?" Lila grinned. Sam blushed.

**Principal Kelly's House**

"I hate my life." Kelly grumbled as he went to his door. "Stupid dogs, stupid cops, stupid jail, I should run for office or something and then run them all out of town!" He opened his door and… "AGH!!! NOT AGAIN!!!" He got mauled by Rottweilers. "STUPID DOGS!!! GET DOWN!!!" He stumbled into the street, and the dogs, leapt off him as a Mack truck bared down on the senator and slammed into him.

**Duncan Matthews's House**

"Oh God, my dad is going to kill me." Duncan groaned as he went to the door. The Rottweilers who mauled Kelly earlier leapt out of the bushes and started mauling him. "AAAGH!!!!! HELP ME!!!!!" He ended up falling down a well as the dogs finished mauling him.

Looks like the big fight is about to begin! What insanity will happen next? Can the Brotherhood beat Roxor, even with the X-Men's help? What insane things will happen to Kelly and Duncan next? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	18. A Little Breather!

**The Starr Chronicles**

_To soulstress: Hey there soulstress! It was a long time, but it's finally nice to hear from you again! Alright! And so much to respond to. Let's see…Well, yes. Lila found herself somebody in Sam. After all, they are together in the comics. I'm half-English on my mother's side myself. If you remember any of those witty comments, write them down! I think Edward is Kelly's middle name. Suspicion seems to bond well, alright. Especially in the case of Craig and Wanda. The girls are actually asking Paul out weeks in advance, not months. The movie tribute in Chapter 14 is a tribute to a scene the movie 'Spaceballs'. In it, one of the bad guys, Dark Helmet to be exact, is playing with dolls and his lackey Colonel Sanders walks in on him. Rent it! It is so funny! You should rent it, soulstress. It is so funny! Anyway, I'm glad you liked those last few chapters, and I hope you like this new one! I also can hardly wait for the new chapter of 'Tempest'!_

_To Raliena: Hey, Rae! Yeah, Sam's kind of in trouble. Especially since he's got the beautiful space-teleporting, guitar-playing, possibly-insane Lila Cheney after him! I'm glad you liked the last chapter, and I hope you like this new one!_

_To Aaron: Yep, the fight as begun, and of course, there's Kelly and Duncan torture. I'm also glad you liked the scene with Lila and Sam. I hope you like this new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "Muriel! I'm hungry!" - Eustace Bagg, Courage the Cowardly Dog**

Chapter 18: A Little Breather!

**Bayville ****Town Hall**

"You are going to pay for that, Roxor YEAAAAAGH!!!!" Todd screamed. He tried to trap Roxor in a sleeper hold, put the alien madman easily pitched him off and threw him into the other Brotherhood kids. He pointed his Cosmic Axe at them.

"Begone!" He ordered, firing the axe.

"WAAAAAHHH!!!" The Brotherhood kids screamed as the cosmic beam blasted them through the wall to the outside.

"Cosmic beams are a real _pain!_" Lance moaned.

"Thanks a lot, Todd!" Pietro snapped.

"Lila may be dead and you are only concerned with blaming me!" Todd snapped. "She was my friend!"

"Still is, Toady!" Lila waved to the Brotherhood cutely as Sam flew down with her in his arms. "Ooh, you're gentle, aren't you?" Lila grinned at Sam.

"Who are you?" Wanda wondered.

"Lila Cheney." Lila grinned, bowing. "The galaxy's greatest thief!"

"Huh?" Fred scratched his head.

"Well, it's nice to meet you, Miss Space Babe." Pietro grinned, zipping up to her and flashing a grin. Lila shot him a glare.

"One: I'm _human_, stupid. Two: Toady here told me about you. Three: I don't like egomaniacal jerky twits!" Lila punched Pietro in the face.

"AGH!!" Pietro screamed.

"I like her already." Craig whispered to Wanda.

"Me too." Wanda agreed. The Brotherhood noticed the X-Jet land nearby. "Oh great."

"The X-Geeks." Lance groaned.

"The X-Men, right?" Lila asked Todd.

"Yup." Todd nodded.

"Alvers! What's going on here?!" Scott roared as he left the X-Jet and stomped towards the Brotherhood.

"Nothing to do with us, Summers." Lance said.

"Would you believe an alien invasion?" Fred asked.

"A what?" Scott blinked. He noticed Lila. "Who are you?"

"Lila Cheney, Eyeball boy." Lila replied.

"She's mean!" Pietro whined.

"Shut up, Maximoff!" Lance snapped.

"Hey!" Wanda snapped.

"Not you, him!" Lance said, pointing at Pietro.

"Here, let me explain." Lila said. "You see, there's this evil alien madman who wants to destroy and/or rule the universe, and Earth is next on his list. Luckily for him, he looks exactly like Toady here." Lila motioned to Todd.

"I always knew Todd was from another planet." Pietro quipped. "OW!" Wanda smacked him.

"Anyway, as I was saying, Roxor switched places with Todd here and took his place in the Brotherhood."

"Craig and I were the first to notice something was up." Wanda added.

"Yep. A pair of space cops arrested Toad, mistaking him for Roxor. They were going to put him away for a few centuries. Luckily for the little amphibian, I was being carted away for swiping some royal treasure from Alpha V. Toady and I became friends, and I helped him down to Earth."

"How?" Scott blinked.

"Interstellar teleportation. It's one useful talent." Lila smirked.

"Lila here is a mutant. And she's from Earth." Todd explained.

"Well, looks there are more of you super-powered humans than I thought." Roxor smirked as he emerged from the building.

"He _does_ look like Toad!" Scott exclaimed.

"Trust me Summers, I don't like it anymore than you do, yo." Todd grumbled.

"Scott, what's going on?!" Jean flew in. She smiled and waved cutely at Paul. "Hi, Paul." Paul waved. Scott shot the LA mutant a glare. 

"What?" Paul blinked.

"Ah, I see you humans have a variety of powers." Roxor smirked.

"You're not going to conquer _this_ planet, Roxor! Not if the Brotherhood of Mutants have anything to do with it, yo!" Todd snapped.

"Please, my pathetic look-a-like. You think _you_ can beat me?!" Roxor laughed.

"After we whoop this guy, you owe me a kiss." Lila shot a seductive look at Sam. Sam blushed and stammered.

"Cannonball, Operation Meteor!" Scott ordered. Sam nodded and took off. Roxor looked up.

"What's his function, signal flare?" Roxor laughed, until he noticed something. "What?" He saw Cannonball fly down towards him. "What the…AGH!!!" Sam hit the ground in front of Roxor, causing Roxor to fly up into the air.

**Duncan Matthews's House**

Duncan Matthews moaned as he entered his family's home.

"I hate dogs. I _freakin_ hate them!" Duncan grumbled as he staggered up the stairs. "Man, I need to take a shower." Duncan moaned as he went up the stairs. "Ahh, the bathroom. A place where a man can think in peace." Duncan opened the door and… "AAAAAAGH!!!! STUPID DOGS!!!" Duncan got mauled by dogs again. "AAAAAGH!!!" Duncan fell down the stairs.

**Senator Kelly's House**

"Ahhh, the fridge. A place where a man can enjoy his favorite foods." Kelly smiled as he walked to his fridge. He opened his fridge and… "AAAGH!!! STUPID DOGS!!! GET OFF ME, MAN!!! THAT HURTS!!!" Kelly screamed. He started stumbling into his basement. "What? Wha…AAAAAAGH!!!!" Kelly fell down his basement stairs. "OW!! OOH!!! OH MAN THAT HURTS!!!" The dogs watched Kelly fall down the stairs.

Well, well, well! Looks like the battle shall continue? What insanity will happen next? Which of the X-Men had arrived? Can our heroes beat Roxor? How will Duncan and Kelly get tortured next? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	19. Another Round!

**The Starr Chronicles!**

_To Aaron: Yep, Round One of Roxor vs. The X-Men and Brotherhood begins. And it is going to be a big one. I thought it would be funny to watch Lila go from all googly-eyed over Sam "Cannonball" Guthrie to punching out Pietro. I could and Evo-verse version of Lila Cheney not liking the Evo-verse version of Pietro Maximoff very much. And yes, four of the five members of the Superstars are here. I still do plan to have a certain insane Australian pyromaniac be the Superstars' drummer. Only difference in the roster is that in this story's universe, Lila was an original member of the Superstars. In my Misfit-verse, Lila joined the band later on. I'm glad you liked the chapter so far! Here's more for you!_

_To Raliena: Hey Rae! I'm glad you liked the chapter! Here's more insanity for you! Enjoy!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there, Red! I've been keeping up with your stories "This Soap Opera Called Life" and "Living with Mutants is Hazardous to your Health". I love the new chapters! I'm glad you liked seeing dogs maul Duncan and Kelly every chapter. I hope to put more of that in for you. Maybe I will put in a chapter where the X-Men and Brotherhood get to watch the dogs do their thing to Kelly and Duncan. I'm glad you liked the last chapter, and I hope you like this new one!_

_To soulstress: Hey there soulstress! Again, it's nice to see you're back. I've noticed from your fic that you like seeing Pietro get beat up by girls. Me too. I loved the last chapter of "Tempest" and I can't wait for another one to come up! Yeah, it's difficult to show pity towards Senator/Principal Kelly and Duncan Matthews, even if you are a very forgiving person. Those two guys can be such jerks. Can I ask you something? Since I let you use a line from one of my fics and I allow you to use anything you want from my fics, can I use lines and stuff from "Tempest"? I would really appreciate it if I could, just in case. I sometimes find inspiration for chapters of my fics in other people's fics. I'm glad you liked the last chapter, and I hope you like this new one!_

**Disclaimer: "Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry." - Bill Bixby as David Bruce Banner, The Incredible Hulk (And the bad guys did _not_ like an angry Banner)**

Chapter 19: Another Round!

**Downtown Bayville**

The battle between Roxor and the combined forces of the X-Men and Brotherhood ended up moving downtown. The X-Men were represented by Storm, Wolverine, Beast, Cyclops, Jean, Cannonball, Spyke, and Nightcrawler. The Brotherhood had their whole roster out to play: Avalanche, Scarlet Witch, Quicksilver, Toad, Blob, Paul, and Craig.

"You humans are _annoying!_" Roxor snarled as he got to his feet. Wolverine started towards Roxor, unsheathing his claws with their trademark _SNIKT!!!_ Jean and Storm floated alongside him. Spyke created his own claws of bone.

"What's this thing again?" Spyke asked Craig.

"An alien. An honest-to-God alien." Craig groaned. _I had a funny feeling that if I came to this town, I would be going through days like this._

"RAAGH!!" Roxor fired his Cosmic Axe at the feral, the psychic, the weather goddess, and the bone-manipulator, sending them flying backwards.

"Eat hexbolt, Spaceman!" Wanda roared at Roxor, pitching her probability-altering energy bolts. Cyclops added his two cents in the form of his optic blasts. Evan quickly got to his feet and shot some spikes. Ororo fired some lightning, and the Starr Brothers fired their purple eye lasers all at the alien madman. But Roxor created a golden forcefield, protecting him from the various energy blasts.

"It didn't work!" Lance exclaimed.

"Well, _that_ went well." Evan grumbled.

"So long, humans! You are no challenge to me!" Roxor laughed, taking to the air. Storm flew after him, and she Roxor in an aerial dogfight while the other mutants caught up.__

"Ha!" A flying Roxor, surrounded by a field of golden energy, used his Cosmic Axe like a baseball bat to knock the lightning blasts away. Roxor laughed. "Stupid weather witch. Do you really believe you can beat me? I am invincible! If you bow to me now, I just may consider considering letting you live. May."

"Do you really believe us Earth natives will let you conquer us?!" Storm snapped, eyes glowing white hot. Roxor laughed.

"No. You Earthlings never really mastered a very important thing to learn: When to admit you're beaten!" Roxor blasted Storm with his Axe. A pair of purple laser beams, hexbolts, an optic blasts, and several bone spikes flew up towards Roxor, only to bounce off his energy field.

"How do we beat this thing?!" Logan snarled. "Anyone here ever faced an alien before?"

"Get his Axe, Claws!" Lila exclaimed. "Don't you remember?! His power comes from the Cosmic Axe he's holding. If it leaves his hand, then the power is gone!"

"How do we get the Axe off him?" Lance snarled. "With it, he's too powerful for any one of to match!"

"Hey Kurt, Todd, Pietro, Blob, I got an idea." Paul smiled. He gathered the four mutants, and the rest of the Brotherhood together and whispered his plan. Paul looked up at Jean and made two motions with his hands: The first was pointing up at Roxor, the second to his temple, and the third was a box motion. Jean smiled and nodded. She blew a kiss to Paul, making Scott growl.

_I hate that Paul._ Scott growled mentally.

"Hah-_ha!_" Roxor laughed. "Not even the Shi'ar's Imperial Guard could stop me! What makes these humans think they can…what?" Roxor felt an invisible force pressing on his body. "What kind of sorcery is this?!" Jean was using her TK to hold the alien madman in place.

"Pietro, now!" Lance ordered. Pietro zipped around and around in circles under Roxor and created a powerful cyclone to help reinforce Jean's telekinetic hold on the evil alien Todd look-alike.

"Blob, Kurt, Todd, now!" Paul yelled. Blob pitched Todd and Kurt into the air. In mid-air, Kurt grabbed Todd.

"He's mine." Todd said simply. Kurt nodded and teleported with the trademark BAMF!! Todd and Kurt reappeared on top of a screaming Roxor.

"Unhand me, creatures!" Roxor roared. "Hey!" Todd landed on him and the amphibious mutant tried to pry Roxor's axe from his hand.

**The bar**

"I hate my life." Kelly half-grumbled, half-slurred as he sat in the bar and swigged his beer. He stumbled out of his seat and tripped, falling into a group of angry drunks. The sounds of beating and Kelly screaming was heard outside the bar. A drunken, beaten Kelly staggered out of the bar, and the moment, he got outside, he got mauled by dogs. "AAAGH!!! STUPID DOGS!!!"

**A Costume Shop in Bayville**

"AAAAGAH!!!! HELP!!! LEAVE ME ALONE, YOU STUPID DOGS!!!" Duncan roared as a pack of Rottweilers mauled him as he ran into a costume shop. The dogs leapt off as he ran in. Duncan ran back out in a Barney costume. He managed to get past the dogs. "Phew. Stupid dogs. I can't believe that worked AAAAGH!!!" Duncan got mauled by pitchfork, torch, and baseball bat-wielding parents. "WHY GOD WHY!?!?!?!?!?"

Well, well, well! Looks like the madness will continue! What insanity will happen next? Can our heroes stop Roxor? Can Todd get the Cosmic Axe from Roxor? How will Duncan and Kelly get tortured next? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	20. Roxor's Defeat!

**The Starr Chronicles**

_To soulstress: Hey there, soulstress. Yes, Barney is indeed evil incarnate. How can one dinosaur be so freakin' happy and annoying, huh? It's not right, man. He should be **eating** those kids, not singin' and dancin'! And yes, Toad is one persistent little mutant, as Wanda will easily testify. Thanks for letting me use stuff from your fics. They probably do come from other places anyway, alright. One of my favorite moments was when Rogue nailed Remy in the twig and berries. Yeah, the girls always want to flirt with Paul, even there's a battle that could determine the fate of Earth raging around them. I loved the movie Home Alone. It was so funny. I'm glad you liked the last chapter, and I hope you like this new one!_

_To Raliena: Hey Rae. Yup, we humans are not quitters. Thanks for the quote, who said it? I hope you like the new chapter!_

_To Kaishin Briefs: Hey Kai. I can hardly wait for your e-mail! Don't worry about it, Todd will save the day. And Roxor did not assume Todd's form. He only happens to resemble Todd and he switched places with him. Yes, I did vote for Taboo Tuesday. I voted for __Shelton__ Benjamin in the IC match, I voted for Edge to face Triple H for the title (He should get one), the Christy vs. Carmella to be an Evening Gown Match (I'm a sucker for the classics) I'm glad you liked the last chapter, and I hope you like this new one!_

_To Red Witch: Hey Red! I'm glad you liked the battle scene and the part at the end with __Duncan__ and the angry parents. I've been keeping up with your stories so far, and I love them! I hope you love this new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "Why are you dressed up like a chicken?"**

Chapter 20: Roxor's Defeat!

**Downtown Bayville**

_I hope this works…_Paul Starr thought with some worry as he looked up at the sky. He made this little plan that involved Todd wrestling the Cosmic Axe from Roxor the Ravager's hands. He knew Todd wanted a piece of Roxor badly.

"I hope this works, kid." Lila said to Paul.

"Don't worry. Todd never gives up. I should know." Wanda said.

"Release my Axe!" Roxor roared. He shook the Axe hard, but Todd stuck to it like Krazy Glue. Try as he might, the alien madman could not force his mutant Earth-born look-alike off his beloved weapon. "Get off, you inferior creature!"

"Make me, yo!" Todd snapped. He spat some slime in Roxor's face. Roxor screamed.

"WHAT IS THIS VILE SUBSTANCE?!" Roxor roared as he tried to rip the slime off his face. In his panic, he started firing cosmic blasts from his Axe everywhere.

"Hey! Whoa!" Todd exclaimed as the Axe was sent pointing every which way.

"Look out!" Scott exclaimed. Jean erected a telekinetic forcefield around the X-Men and Brotherhood.

"Hang on!" Jean exclaimed.

"RAAAGH!!" Roxor roared as he continued trying to rip off the sticky slime from his face. Todd tugged hard on the Axe.

"Come off, you stupid…" Todd started cursing the Axe. "Why…won't…you…come…" He gave on final, hard yank, and he managed to get the Axe off. "…off? WAAAAH!!!" Todd and Roxor fell down to the ground.

"Uhn…" Roxor got to his feet, and he looked at his hands. His eyes widened and he gasped in shock. "The Axe! My Cosmic Axe!"

"Aw yeah…" Todd grinned as he got to his feet, clutching Roxor's Cosmic Axe. "Oh, the power, yo…the power…" Todd held up the Axe, a golden energy field surrounding his body. Todd could _feel_ the power of the cosmos flowing into his veins. His body glowed with power. He could feel his body grow in strength. "Man, this…_is…**$&#$ AWESOME!!!!**_"

"Uh oh, Todd's gained the power of the Cosmic Axe. This…could be trouble." Lila blinked. The mutants gulped.

"Toad with cosmic power. God help us all." Pietro grumbled.

"Pietro…shut up." Lance grumbled.

"So Roxor, how's it feel?" Todd smirked evilly at the powerless mad alien. "How's it feel to be on the other side of the fence, madman? How's it feel to be the powerless one at the mercy of someone as powerful as me?"

"You do not **deserve** the power of the Cosmic Axe!" Roxor snarled. He leapt towards Todd, but Toad blasted Roxor with the Axe, sending him flying into a building. The alien grunted as he sat up. Todd flew up to him, and pointed the Axe directly at Roxor's head. Roxor looked up. The main thing in his view was the glowing barrel of the Axe, and it helped make Todd look like some kind of vengeful god.

"I should just kill you, you madman." Todd snarled. "You would not change." The X-Men and the Brotherhood gulped.

"Toad, stop!" Paul exclaimed. Todd turned his head slowly to Paul and smirked. Paul gulped.

"You know what, Roxor? As long as I have the Axe, you won't cause trouble. You're nothing without it." Todd smirked. He pulled away the Axe. But not before whacking Roxor across the head with it, knocking the alien out cold.

"Hey, what's that?" Scott pointed to the Space Cops' ship, landing nearby.

"Uh oh." Todd and Lila said together. Officers Halgun and Zorn ran out, holding out their pistols and guns.

"Okay! No one move! This is the Space Police!"

"Eep!" Scott and Pietro quickly put their hands up.

"Oh for the love of God, Visor-Boy! Put your hands down!" Lila groaned. "You too, Mr. Ambiguous!"

"You two really know how to embarrass yourselves, huh?" Lance smirked.

"Oh, stop." Pietro grumbled.

"Shut up, Alvers." Scott growled.

"Times like this I wish I _could_ get drunk." Logan whispered to Storm. Logan's healing powers were so great, it was practically impossible to get him drunk. Storm chuckled.

"Too bad we didn't bring the camera." Craig whispered to Fred. The big mutant nodded.

"Yeah." Fred agreed. "I had no idea my little buddy could pull off something like that." Craig blinked at that.

"That…wasn't what I meant." Craig groaned.

"Freeze!" The cops pointed their guns at Todd and Lila.

"We got you again, Roxor." Zarn grinned. Todd groaned and threw down the Cosmic Axe.

"Yo! _He's_ Roxor!" Todd snapped, pointing at the downed alien.

"Yeah!" Sam nodded. "Todd just took him down!"

"Downtown to Chinatown!" Paul added with a grin. "Whoo!" The Kentucky and LA mutants high-fived.

"Yeah." Lila nodded.

"I got him!" Roxor cuffed the out-cold Roxor.

"Hey!" Lila exclaimed as she got cuffed.

"What's going on here?" Jean wondered.

"What do you think, Red?" Lila grumbled. "I'm being taken in. I am a wanted crook."

"She's no killer." Todd shook his head. "She's like Boom-Boom with black hair. She's a klepto."

"And proud of it!" Lila grinned. "Hey! Be gentle! I'm a lady!" She snapped as Halgun shoved her. She shot a cute look at Sam. "Write me."

"Hey wait, yo." Todd hopped up to the two cops. "Lila helped me out. And she's harmless compared to Roxor. Maybe you should let her stay here."

"Pwease?" Lila made a puppy face. "That farm boy over there would fall to pieces without me."

"**_What?!_**" A blushing Sam yelped in embarrassment.

"Besides, I can get you guys reported again…" Lila sang.

"What do you mean?!" Zarn snapped.

"You two geniuses forgot to use a DNA scanner again." Lila smirked. "Hey Todd, did they use some kind of scanning device on you?" Todd scrunched up his face in thought.

"No, I don't think so."

"Oh crud!" Zarn groaned. "Using a DNA scanner is required in the arresting procedure! Aw man, we forgot again! If the boss finds out, we're toast!" Halgun cursed.

"And Lila here knows people!" Halgun groaned. "Now what do we do?!"

"_I won't sing about the screw-up if I can stay…_" Lila sang.

"I dunno…" Halgun groaned.

"C'mon, I keep my word. I haven't said anything about that incident between you two and that ambassador…" Lila said.

"She does have a point. No one knows about it…" Zarn nodded.

"Fine!" Halgun grumbled, freeing Lila. "Besides, Roxor's a bigger fish. But what about his axe?" He picked up the Cosmic Axe.

"_I'll_ take that, yo." Todd said. "A little souvenir."

"That thing may be safer with the X-Men, Swamp-Boy." Logan said.

"Roxor didn't impersonate _you_, Claws." Todd replied.

"AAAGH!!!" Sam ran off. Lila was chasing after him.

"Come back here and give me my kiss, you hunk!" Lila exclaimed as she chased after him.

"Run! Run, farmboy, run!" Evan teased.

**Bayville Pharmacy**

"Thank you." Principal Kelly walked out of the Pharmacy, carrying a bag full of bandages. "Well, good thing I've gotten all these bandages. I got a funny feeling that I'm going to need them AAAAGH!!!!! STUPID DOGS!!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!" He got mauled by wild dogs.

**The Video Store**

Duncan Matthews had gone to the local video store. He was hoping to get a movie so he'd have something to do over the weekend.

"Let's see…" Duncan looked through the titles in the Action/Adventure section. "Huh?" He picked up one. "What's this? 'When Dogs Attack'?" Duncan opened the video box. "AAAAGH!!!!" He ended up getting mauled by dogs again.

Well, well, well, our heroes save the day! What insanity will happen next? Will Roxor get his revenge? Will Lila get her paws on Sam? Will the mutants have more adventures? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	21. Movin' In!

**The Starr Chronicles**

_To soulstress: Hey there soulstress! No matter where Duncan and Kelly go, they are far from safe from me! MUA-HAHAHAHAHAAA!!!! I hate those guys. I'm glad you liked the last chapter. Roxor's locked away, Todd's back home, and the Brotherhood have a new member! And their ranks will continue to expand as the story continues. Here's a hint: One's a character from Red Witch's fics, and another's a psycho Aussie. I'm a big Austin Powers fan, so I used the term 'twig and berries'. I hope you like the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for the new chapter of 'Tempest'!_

_To Sparky Genocide: Hey Sparky! I don't really remember what happens in DoR, since they haven't played any episodes in so long. Actually, Lila's not going to jail. She blackmailed the space cops into letting her stay on Earth. So she's not going anywhere. I hope you like the new chapter!_

_To Raliena: Hey Rae! 'Hogfather', huh? Is the book a parody of the Godfather flicks? I hope you like the new chapter!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there Red! I've read the new chapter of "This Soap Opera Called Life" and I loved it! Hooray for Firewall, Daemon, and __Arcade__! They saved the day! And so did Todd because he beat Roxor. Good thing those space cops screwed up, huh? Otherwise, the Brotherhood wouldn't have their own teleporter. I hope you like the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "I always have coffee when I watch radar, you know that!" - Rick Moranis as Dark Helmet, Spaceballs.**

Chapter 21: Moving In!

**The Brotherhood House, the next day**

Today was a good day for the Brotherhood. After a little bit of blackmail, interstellar thief and musician Lila Cheney was allowed to stay on Earth after Roxor's defeat. She decided to move into the Brotherhood House, much to the chagrin of the egomaniacal speedster Pietro Maximoff.

"I don't get it! This a group dedicated to the downfall of humanity! Not a freakin' social club!" Pietro exclaimed to Lance. Lance was standing on the stairs, carrying a box marked 'Lila's Stuff'.

"Pietro, we could use more members. I'm glad Paul and Craig moved in, and now we have Lila." Lance groaned. "Besides, none of them care what you think, Pietro. Lila hates you, Craig hates you, and I think Paul just ignores you. By the way, has anyone told you that you are annoying?" Lance grumbled. He noticed something poke out of the box. "Hello…" Lance gently pulled a golden guitar out of the box. "Man, Lila has taste. This guitar is beautiful."

"Thank you." Lila smirked as she walked up to the two Brotherhood members. Pietro raised his hand to feel the guitar, but Lila slapped it away. "Touch it and you die, Ambiguous Boy."

"You let Lance touch it!" Pietro whined.

"I'm a guitar player myself, Pietro. I know how to handle a guitar." Lance groaned.

"You play?" Lila looked interested.

"Yeah, I have a white Stratocaster." Lance smiled. Lila grinned.

"A _Stratocaster?!_" Lila squealed. "I _love_ Stratocasters!"

"Then why do you have a Gibson?"

"I can't find a golden Stratocaster." Lila sighed. "My dream guitar is a golden Stratocaster. I love golden stuff." Lila grinned. Lance noted that she was clad in a tight black Iron Maiden t-shirt, black biker gloves, tight gold leather pants, and black steel-toed combat boots. "I do love Goldie here, though."

"My dream guitar is a white B.C. Rich Warlock with a black widow head." Lance smiled. "The look and sound is so awesome."

"Ugh. I'm leaving." Pietro grumbled in disgust. He zipped off.

"Hey, Lila…" Paul walked up to Lila, holding some jewelry. "Is this yours? It looks familiar…"

**The Xavier Institute**

"AAAGH!!!!" Jean Grey's voice could be heard throughout the entire mansion. "WHERE'S MY JEWELRY?!?! WHERE'D IT GO!!!! WHOEVER TOOK IT IS GOING TO GET IT!!!!"

**The Brotherhood House**

"Yeah, it's mine." Lila took the jewelry. Pietro zipped back into the house.

"I just realized something!" Pietro yelped.

"What, that you're a jerk?" Lila joked. Pietro glared.

"No. What will I tell Father?"

"He doesn't give a rat's, Pietro!" Lance exclaimed. "Mystique left us on our own! If it weren't for Paul getting a job at the record store, we wouldn't have any money!"

"We don't need that blue hag anyway, yo." Todd laughed as he slid down the staircase railing. "We're too cool for her!"

"Amen to that, Toady!" Lila grinned. The two mutants high-fived.

"Mystique's a jerk." Lance grumbled as he went up the stairs. "I hope that blue witch _never_ comes back. Where do you want your stuff, Cheney?"

"Just leave it in front of my room, and I'll deal with it." Lila called. "Thanks!"

"Well, it's Saturday, yo. What'll you guys do? Paul's going to go downtown to find some fun, Craig's…out, and Fred's hit the pizza place. Again."

"I'm going to say hello to a certain sexy farmboy." Lila smirked, before disappearing in a flash of light.

"I feel sorry for Cannonball, yo." Todd laughed.

"AAAAGH!!!!" Sam's scream could be heard in the distance. "LEAVE ME ALONE!!!"

"Oh yeah, I wouldn't want to be Cannonball, yo." Todd laughed.

**A street in Bayville**

Duncan Matthews walked down the street, whistling and carrying a letter. He whistled as he walked up to a mailbox. He pulled up the flap and threw the letter in. Suddenly, a pack of wild dogs jumped out of the box and started mauling him.

"AAAAAAGH!!!! NOT AGAIN!!! HELP ME!!!!"

**Principal Kelly's House, Bayville**

"Milk!" Kelly grinned as he brought in the milk that was left out by the milkman. "Life is good." He walked over to his fridge and put the milk in. He decided to get himself some food from the pantry. He opened the door to the pantry and a pack of wild dogs jumped out. "AAAAGH!!! HELP ME!!!! WHY GOD WHY!?!? STOP THAT!!!! IT HURTS!!!"

Well, well, well! Let the insanity continue! What madness will happen next? Where and when will Duncan and Kelly get mauled next? Will Pietro ever get a break? Will Sam ever be able to get away from Lila? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	22. Mutants in Miami, Part 1!

**The Starr Chronicles**

_To Raliena: Hey Rae! Ahh, I see. 'Hogfather' is a parody of 'Father Christmas'. If I see it in a bookstore, I'll give it a read. I'm glad you liked the chapter! Well, the thing with Lila and Jean's jewelry is a tribute to my Misfit fics. In my Misfit-verse, Lila and Jean don't like each other very much. Lila thinks Jean's a snobby brat, and Jean thinks Lila's a troublemaking punker. I hope you like the new chapter!_

_To Aaron: Hey Aaron! I'm glad you liked the bonding between Lila and Lance. I thought they'd be friends since they both are guitarists. I really have no idea how I'm going to bring Pyro in. Any thoughts? I think Scott would get a coronary when he thinks about the Brotherhood's ranks growing (And they will continue to grow in the story). Yeah, I can imagine Lila and Jean getting along like Scott and Lance do. Todd will get a girlfriend. In fact, you may recognize two characters making their first Starr-verse appearance in this chapter. What happened to the Cosmic Axe? I think Toad put it somewhere no one would go to find it: Under a pair of his dirty laundry. Anyway, enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Sparky Genocide: Hey there Sparky! I'm glad you liked the insanity in the last chapter. Yeah, I do plan to add Pyro to the story, but I'm unsure how to bring him in. I have been thinking of having him join the Brotherhood in DoR, but I doubt it'd fly. Any thoughts? I hope you like the new chapter, and yes, there will be more Kelly and __Duncan__ torture! Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To RogueFanKC: Hey there RogueFan! I read the new chapter of "Light in the Heart of A Misfit" and I liked it. Toad will get himself a girlfriend, don't worry. I intended Lila to be kind of Todd's new 'big sister'. She's the Brotherhood girl who kind of shows Todd the respect Wanda never gives him. I think Lila and Todd's relationship is better as a sibling-like thing rather than a romantic one. Besides, Lila likes blond farmboys from __Kentucky__. I can imagine Scott getting an aneurysm myself. I'm sure he's none too happy. I hope you like the new chapter!_

_To soulstress: Hey there soulstress! I read the new chapter of 'Tempest' and I thought it was hilarious, especially the guys' reaction to Betsy's new costume. Yeah, I guess ol' Sammy's just going to have to deal with the crazy space-porter Lila. You're right, driving Pietro nuts is fun. Lila's movin' in, and she's loving it, alright._

_To mattb3671: Hey matt! I read your story "X-Men is Australian for Mutant" and I love your character of Rue. He's awesome, a kangaroo guy. I have an Australian mutant in my West Coast Misfits fics. His name is Tommy Sharpe, and he's code-named Chilljaw. He's got a huge appetite and a shark-based mutation. I think B.C. Rich Warlocks are awesome-looking. I can imagine Lance enjoying 70s hard rock. You know, Zeppelin, AC/DC, Black Sabbath, Deep Purple, and the like. I hope you like the new chapter!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there Red Witch! I'm glad you like the story so far. I didn't get to see the eclipse, though. I miss everything. Maybe the Misfits should do the recruitment commercials themselves. __Lot__ less chances for disasters than if Shipwreck did them.__ Anyway, we kick off a new storyline here, and the Brotherhood's ranks get ready to swell some more. I hope you like the new chapter._

**Disclaimer: "Smells like Mommy's kisses."**

Chapter 22: Mutants in Miami, Part 1!

**A warehouse in Bayville**

"Ha!" Lance pitched a fissure at Cyclops. It was another typical brawl between the X-Men and Brotherhood. The two mutant teenage teams were all in costume. "Craig, help me!" Lance snapped at Craig. Craig was leaning against the wall. Wanda was facing off against Evan, Toad was leaping around Kitty, and Fred was plowing through Iceman and Berzerker, while Pietro was annoying the heck out of Magma, and everybody else, by running around and singing show-tunes.

"Lance, your problems with the X-Men are yours. I don't like the X-Men, but not for the same reasons you do." Craig scowled.

"We're a team!"

"I'm _not_ a full member!" Craig snapped. He and Paul chose to stay out of the super-powered brawl.

"He's mine!" Jean screamed, tugging on Paul.

"No, he's mine!" Rogue snapped, tugging harder on Paul's arm.

"He's _my_ sexy beast!"

"He's _mine!_"

"Girls! Girls!" Paul exclaimed. "Relax! There's plenty of me to go around!"

"Whoo!" Lila flipped and leapt around, engaging in a bit of a bout with Kurt. "I have to admit Blue, you got style!" Lila was clad in her regular black-and-gold costume.

"Vat can I say? I am a showman!" Kurt grinned. He dodged a punch from Lila, and teleported behind her.

"C'mon, Fuzzy! Teleporter to teleporter. Let's settle this fairly. No teleportation." Lila challenged. Kurt stopped and thought about it. It would be fair. Lila's teleportation was long-ranged, while Kurt's was short-ranged. Besides, he still had the advantage. He was more agile than Lila, even though she was a better brawler than he was. He could also cling to walls, unlike Lila.

"Alright." Kurt grinned. "Teleporter to teleporter. Let's do it!" Meanwhile, Toad had leapt up to the ceiling. He was dodging Cyclops' optic blasts. He saw Craig dodge some stray spikes, until one grazed his shoulder, making him scream.

"Craig!!" Wanda exclaimed. She hexed Evan away hard, then ran to the black-clad mutant, who was on one knee, clutching his shoulder. "You alright?"

"I'm…fine…" Craig started to growl when he looked up and into Wanda's eyes. He trailed off and the two stared at each other. Todd looked saddened by the scene and leapt out of the warehouse. Lila noticed.

"Sorry Herr Fuzz, we'll have to settle this later." Lila said. She teleported off, knowing exactly where Toad was heading.

**The Brotherhood House**

Todd Tolensky sat on the couch, watching TV in uniform. He looked despondent.

_Who was I kidding, yo?_ Todd thought. _Wanda's an angel in red. She's too good for someone like me. Who was I kidding? I'm just a lousy Toad. I'll never get a break. Why do I bother?_ Todd saw a familiar flash of light and a FWOOM, and Lila was sitting next to him on the couch.

"Hey, Toddy. What's wrong?" Lila asked sympathetically.

"Nothing." Todd squeaked.

"C'mon Todd. Don't lie to me." Lila said. "It's Wanda, huh?"

"Yeah." Todd admitted. "She likes Craig." A tear fell down his eye. He fell on Lila's shoulder. Lila put her arm around Todd's shoulders.

"Poor little Toady." Lila cooed, stroking his hair. "Don't worry, green stuff. You'll get over it."

"Will I _ever_ have a girlfriend?" Todd sighed.

"There's someone for everyone, Toddy." Lila smiled. The teleporter then started thinking about how to cheer her toad-like friend up. Suddenly, an idea hit her when a commercial played on the TV.

_A vacation just may be the thing that the doctor ordered…_Lila smirked.

**Miami****Florida**

On a dock, a beautiful teenage girl, around 15, was fishing. She had long black hair with electric blue streaks in it, Chinese coin earrings on her ears, a shell necklace, and blue eyes. She was clad in a dark blue tank top with jean shorts. She also had on black fingerless gloves. A black leather jacket was lying next to her, under a tackle box.

"'Allo, Althea. You are looking as ravishing as ever." An English-accented voice said. The girl scowled and turned her head. She saw an English boy, around her age. He was clad like a punk rocker: Long brown hair, green eyes, a green tiger-print headband, a heavy metal t-shirt with a sleeveless leather jacket over it. The jacket was lined with studs, and had small spikes at the shoulders. He wore black biker gloves. The right wrist was adorned with a black studded armband, and the left had a green wristband. He wore blue jeans, and black sneakers.

"Vincent James, give it up! I _don't_ want to go out with you." The girl scowled.

"Oh, please. I know you do. English men are very charming, you know. Me most of all, of course." The English boy grinned arrogantly. He started to rant about how great he was. The black-and-blue-haired girl's scowl deepened.

_Man, Vincent really thinks he's the greatest thing since sliced bread. He just **oozes** arrogance. What makes him think I even **like** him?_ Althea mentally grumbled.. _Sure, he's rich, but that doesn't make him attractive. Just because he's heir to one of the world's premiere electronics companies, that don't make him Brad Pitt._

"So Althea, how about it? I know you're attracted to me and me family's greatness. How's about dinner? See you tonight." Vincent smirked arrogantly as he sauntered off. Althea shook her head.

"He's just like a virus. He only makes you feel sick." Althea growled under her breath.

**The Bayville Mall**

Duncan Matthews looked around in an electronics store to buy some CDs.

"Ooh…I love that group." Duncan grinned as he put a CD in. One caught his eye. "Huh?" He picked up the CD and read the cover. "The Wild Dogs?" He opened up the CD cover and a pack of wild dogs leapt out of the CD and mauled him. "AAAAAAGH!!!! WHAT IS THIS STUFF?!?!?!?!?!? HELP ME!!!!!"

**The supermarket**

Principal Kelly went down to the supermarket to do some weekly shopping. He passed by the frozen food section when several dogs leapt out of a freezer and started mauling him. "AAAAGH!!! HEY!!!! HELP!!! STUPID DOGS!!" The dogs brought him to the freezer they were in, and they forced Kelly in the freezer, trapping him inside. "HEY!!! GET ME OUT!!! HELP!!! I'M FREEZING!!!"

Well, well, well! Looks like some changes will be in order! What insanity will happen next? What is Lila up to? Where will the Brotherhood go? Will Todd get himself some cheer? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	23. Mutants in Miami, Part 2!

**The Starr Chronicles**

_To RogueFanKC: Hey There, RogueFan! Oh yes, another potential recruit for the Brotherhood, indeed. Is her father still Shipwreck? Technically, yes. I can imagine that Scott is not to thrilled with the Brotherhood's ranks continuing to expand, and knowing the X-Men, they'll try to recruit Althea for themselves (Althea: NEVER!!! THEY CAN'T TAKE ME AWAY FROM MY TODDLES!!). Anyway, I hope you like this new chapter! Please put me on your Author Alert List!_

_To Haretrigger: Hey there Haretrigger! I don't blame you. I love unleashing the hounds on Duncan and Kelly. Especially in comical cartoon-like ways. Anyway, I'm glad you liked the last chapter, and I hope you like this new one!_

_To soulstress: Hey there, soulstress! Yes, the dogs **did** put Kelly in a freezer. Actually, the dogs are of normal intelligence. That happens to be higher than Kelly's. Well, I can imagine that the X-Men and Brotherhood fight for no reason, really. I'm glad that you like the whole thing with Wanda and Craig. And yes, Althea has arrived on the scene. I figured that since the Brotherhood have Lila with them, they could go anywhere they wanted. And let's face it, who doesn't want to see the Brotherhood on vacation? Anyway, I'm glad you liked the last chapter, and I can hardly wait for the new chapter of 'Tempest'!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there, Red Witch! Yeah, Althea has arrived. Something tells me that Todd will be a very happy frog-boy. Oh yeah! I read the new chapter of "This Soap Opera Called Life" and I loved it! Looks like ol' Stryker decided to play dirty. He doesn't deserve to be called a man of God. Anyway, enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Sparky Genocide: Hey there Sparky! Yeah, I think Mystique still works for Magneto in this fic. So, Magneto sends Pyro to the Brotherhood because Pyro becomes annoying, huh? Yeah, I can imagine that. Yeah, Althea is here, and yes, Vincent James is here. Vincent **is** Virus. For now, he's just arrogant, but that may change. I hope you like the new chapter!_

_To Aaron: Hey there Aaron! And yes, say hello to Wavedancer and Virus! Well, yeah, it **is** kind of obvious I intend to bring them together. It's not really a rivalry. Virus hates Toad and adores Althea. Althea thinks Virus is a pathetic nerdy worm. I suppose I could have Pyro left for dead, or maybe he could be working with Gambit. Those are do-able, especially the boredom. I also want to have the Avengers get involved in the events of 'Day of Reckoning' somehow. I'm glad you liked the Lila/Todd friendship, and you'll see the Brotherhood in __Miami__. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Raliena: Hey there, Rae! Yeah, Jean can be a bit snobby. Ten bucks says the comics eventually bring her back. She won't stay dead long. Yeah, Virus **REALLY** needs to learn to take a hint. Enjoy the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "You tell me where my suit is, woman!"**

Chapter 23: Mutants in Miami, Part 2!

**The Brotherhood House**

"A vacation?" Lance blinked. He, Wanda, Craig, Paul, and Fred were sitting around the living room. Lila was sitting on the couch. Todd was in his room, brooding. Pietro was in his own room, preening. That was fine with Lila. She wanted to surprise Todd, and she didn't want Pietro involved in this. It was pretty obvious that the others didn't like him. He thought he was leader, and he was a vain egomaniac.

"Yeah." Lila grinned. "Listen, it's obvious you guys are stir-crazy. You've been brawling with the X-Men over nothing more then usual."

"Yeah, you guys do." Paul nodded.

"How can we afford a vacation?" Wanda wondered. Lila smirked and pulled out a wad of hundred-dollar bills from her back pocket. The Brotherhood gasped.

"How'd you get that?!" Fred exclaimed.

"That's a lot of money." Lance gasped.

"We don't need to fly to Miami. I can teleport you guys there." Lila grinned. "And as for the money, well, I just sold some stuff I found."

**The Xavier Institute**

"What happened to my jewelry?!" Jean exclaimed. The X-Men were gathering in the common room. They were having a big problem: Their stuff kept disappearing!

"And where's my tiara?" Amara grumbled.

"Not to mention my stereo!" Ray exclaimed.

"Mah rings are gone!" Rogue added.

"Wasn't there a painting there on the wall?" Hank wondered. Sam watched the X-Men argue. He sighed and he went to his room.

"Huh?" On the pillow, he noticed a golden watch. He picked it up.

"A Rolex. This is a rich man's watch." He read the note attached to it. "Enjoy the watch, farm boy. Love, Lila." Sam blinked.

**The Brotherhood House**

"I'm sure you did, Lila." Fred smirked. "I'm sure you did."

"Why are we going to Miami?" Wanda wondered.

"I think it's a good idea." Fred grinned.

"It's a stellar idea!" Paul grinned. "Stellar to the max!"

"Stellar to the max?" The Brotherhood shot Paul weird looks.

"What?" Paul blinked.

"Anyway, it's a great idea." Fred grinned. "We could use some time away from the X-Geeks."

"Why not? We could use a laugh, and Bayville _is_ kind of boring."

"It's sunny, like back home." Craig remembered. 

"Miami is wonderful this time of year." Lila grinned.

"What about Todd? Is he coming, too?" Fred wondered.

"Yeah. He's been depressed, so I figured some time away would cheer him up a little." Lila replied.

"Do we have to bring Pietro?" Wanda wondered.

"Screw Pietro." Lila huffed. "He'll just embarrass us." Lila went up the stairs to Todd's room. She knocked on the door.

"Go away. I'm dead, yo." Todd whimpered from the other side.

"Hey Toddy, we're going out for a vacation. We're hitting sunny Miami!" Lila grinned. She went inside. "C'mon, Toddy. I'll help you pack up." Pietro peeked out of his room.

"What's going on around here?" The silver-haired speedster wondered out loud.

**Luigi's Pizzeria, Bayville**

"Thanks!" Duncan thanked as he left the pizza place. "Yummy." Duncan smiled happily as he walked down the street with his pizza. "The guys are going to **love** this!" Duncan opened the pizza box, and… "AAAAAGH!!!!!!" A pack of dogs leapt out of the box, and started mauling him. "HELP ME!!! HOW DID THESE DOGS GET HERE?! OW!!! IT HURTS!!!"

**A fine restaurant in Bayville**

Principal Robert Kelly hummed happily as he sat at a table of a fancy restaurant.

"Ahh, I love this place." Kelly smiled. _Great food, and no stupid kids. Especially those Xavier kids and those Brotherhood kids. I hate those punks. And those new kids are weird. Paul Starr had a very horrible fashion sense. His brother Craig is a jerk, and that Lila Cheney is a punker and a klepto._

"Would you like a menu, sir?" A waiter handed Kelly a menu.

"Thank you." Kelly smiled as he took the menu. He opened it, and… "AAAAAAGH!!!!" Dogs leapt out of the menu and started mauling him. "AAAAGH!!! STUPID DOGS!!!! THAT HURTS!!! WHERE DO THESE DOGS COME FROM?!?! OWWWWWWCH!!!!!!!!"

Well, looks like the Brotherhood are warming up to a vacation? What insanity will happen next? What'll the Brotherhood do in Miami? Will Kelly and Duncan get themselves mauled some more? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	24. Mutants in Miami, Part 3!

**The Starr Chronicles**

_To Mouse: Hey there Mouse! Great to hear from you! I hope you enjoy the rest of the story! Keep on reviewing! Yep, the English guy's name is Vincent. I like the name Vincent. It sounds like an English name, and the dorky kid who thinks Althea loves him is English. I think it would actually be a close call between Vince's and Pietro's egos. The universe can only hold so many egos that big. I hope you like the new chapter!_

_To Sparky Genocide: Hey there Sparky! Where do those dogs keep coming from? Well, who knows. As long they're doing something good, right? Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To soulstress: Hey there soulstress! I loved your little advertisement about the dogs. Those dogs are really funny and amazing. Anyway, yeah, the Brotherhood are going on holiday! I'm sure the Brotherhood will find someone to beat up on in __Miami__. Besides, who said Pietro's going to stay behind? Enjoy the new chapter, and please put up the new chapter of 'Tempest'! I can hardly wait for it!_

_To Raliena: Hey there, Rae! That's Virus! Actually, Virus's name is **Vincent**. **Victor** is Sabertooth's real name. Yeah, I would not be surprised if __Jena__ comes back in the next film or in the comics soon. You can't keep **that** redhead down. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there Red! Oh, you'll get to see how it goes. Don't worry about it. And I like your suggestion of Kelly getting mauled by tigers. That's funny! I read the new chapters of "This Soap Opera Called Life". Poor Hellions. (Hellion Girls: (Gathered around Ace crying)) (Jake: Why couldn't you have just let Frost rot?). I really hope Stryker gets his. Maybe this new chapter will help cheer 'em up!_

_To Metal Dragon1: Hey there MD1! Who knows where the dogs come from? I don't know. But you have to admit, it is funny what they've been doing in the past 20 plus chapters! I wonder how Lila afforded the Rolex for Sam indeed. I'm sure the X-Men are going to be suspicious when they see Sam walk around with a Rolex. Knowing Virus, he'd get very jealous of Toad. I'm not sure if I'll do anything like in Red Witch's fics with Tood's pheromones. Which e-mail were you talking about? Well, even if Althea **does** join the Brotherhood, the numbers are still in the X-Men's favor, so I doubt they'll need any new recruits for a while. I hope you like the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for the new chapter of 'Take the Long Way Home'! When's it coming up?!_

_To Aaron: Hey there, Aaron! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Well, everyone needs a vacation at some point, human or mutant, X-Man or Brotherhood. Besides, who wouldn't want to go to sunny __Miami__ for a few days? Poor Toad's at a low point. But __Miami__ may hold the key to cheer him up. I can imagine that the X-Men aren't going to be too happy when they find out the connection between Sam's new watch and their stuff disappearing. I remember Pyro helping train Althea during 'Rebirth of a Pyromaniac'! Maybe I will do something like that. In fact, I believe I may have an idea… I think you'll love the first meeting with Todd and Al. Enjoy the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "Avengers Assemble!" (God, I'm going to miss that.)**

Chapter 24: Mutants in Miami, Part 3!

**A beach in Miami, Florida**

Miami, Florida. A beautiful city known for its frothy surf, sunshine, and lovely beaches. In the middle of one of those beaches, a flash of light suddenly appeared. When the flash ended, several teenagers stood in the middle of the beach, carrying suitcases and clad in beach wear. The teenagers were Lance Alvers, Fred Dukes, Wanda Maximoff, Paul Starr, Lila Cheney, Craig Starr, and Todd Tolensky.

"Wow. Miami is beautiful." Lance blinked. "I gotta bring Kitty here sometime."

"I never thought I'd come here. Awesome!" Paul grinned.

"Whoopee." Todd mumbled unenthusiastically. He slumped down to the ground.

"What _is_ his problem?!" Wanda mumbled.

"He doesn't want to say." Lila replied. "C'mon Toddy…" She helped Todd up. "Let's get to the hotel, and you can watch some TV."

"Don't wanna." Todd mumbled.

"Man, Todd's really in a funk. Are you sure this'll cheer him up?" Paul asked as the Brotherhood walked off.

"Yeah sure." Lila grinned.

"YOU THINK YOU COULD JUST LEAVE ME HERE?!" A familiar voice roared. The Brotherhood groaned as they turned. Pietro Maximoff stormed angrily up to the Brotherhood, carrying his suitcases. "You guys are jerks, you know that?!" He dropped his suitcases and got in Lila's face, glaring at the mutant teleporter. Lila glared back.

"You better get outta my face Mr. Ambiguous, or I'll put my boot in yours." Lila threatened with a glare.

"Make me." Pietro threatened back. "OW!!" Lila swatted him.

"My hand's faster than you." Lila smirked.

**The Brotherhood House**

"Lila!" Scott pounded on the Brotherhood House. "Lila! We want to talk to you!" He pounded harder. "Lila, do you know where our stuff is?" He stood at the door for a second. "Forget it!" He grumbled. The leader of the X-Men walked over to his car and drove off. Sometime in the distance, a dog leapt in the car. The sounds of Scott's screams and wild driving were heard.

**A hotel room, Miami, Florida**

"Okay people…" Lila said, standing in front of two huge wide doors. "You are gonna love this room. Ladies and Gents…" Lila opened the door wide. "The Penthouse Suite!"

"Wow…" The Brotherhood gasped in awe. The room was huge. It had a huge living room with several comfy couches and armchairs, as well as a big-screen plasma TV entertainment system.

"Oh my God!" Lance exclaimed as the Brotherhood walked in.

"I love you!" Pietro squealed, glomping Lila. A scowling Lila broke free.

"Don't touch me!" Lila snapped, smacking Pietro's head into the wall.

"Dogs light fires when horsies spring chickens." Pietro mumbled dizzily with a sick grin, sliding down the wall until he hit the floor in a lying position. "You're welcome."

"I think you and I can be friends." Wanda smirked at Lila. Lila winked and gave a thumbs-up. Craig and Fred picked up Pietro and threw him on a couch.

"Wow! Check out this awesome view! It's totally tubular to the max!" Paul exclaimed happily as he peeked out a huge window. "Hello Miami!" Paul called out the window.

"I _knew_ you guys would like it." Lila grinned. She saw Todd slumped in a sitting position on the floor. Lila picked him. "C'mon you, let's plop you down in front of the TV." Lila put Todd down next to the TV, pulled Pietro off the couch, put Todd on the couch, and sat down next to him with her arm around his shoulders. She took the remote and turned on the TV. "_Ooh,_ Super Cable!" Pietro slowly got to his knees with a moan. "Down in front!" She bonked Pietro upside the head with the remote, knocking him back into Dream Land.

**The Bayville Zoo**

"I love the Zoo!" Principal Kelly grinned as he walked through the Bayville Zoo. "All sorts of great animals." He smiled as he looked down at the Tiger Pit. "Awww…look at the pretty kitties…hey wait a minute, those aren't tigers…they're dogs in tiger costumes AAAAAAGH!!!" A pack of wild dogs in tiger costumes started mauling him. "HELP ME!!!! NOT AGAIN!!!!"

**The Bayville Car Wash**

Duncan Matthews was washing his car in the local car wash. It was one of those car washes that a person put quarters in, and they used hoses to wash the car.

"_Workin__' at the car wash…_" Duncan sang. He wasn't that good. "_Workin__' as a car washer…_Aaah, it's done at last." Duncan, with a smile, put back the hoses, and went to his car. He opened the door and several dogs leapt out of the car and mauled him. "AAAAAGH!!!! NOT AGAIN!!! WHERE DO THESE DOGS KEEP COMING FROM!?!?!"

Well, well, well! Looks like the Brotherhood are going to enjoy Miami! What insanity will happen next? What'll the Brotherhood do in Miami? Will the X-Men ever get what's going on around here? Will Duncan and Kelly get mauled some more? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	25. Mutants in Miami, Part 4!

**The Starr Chronicles**

_To soulstress: Hey there soulstress! I'm glad you liked the constant dog attacks on Duncan and Kelly. Yep, the Brotherhood got the penthouse suite. Lila provides only the best for her friends. Gee, I wonder whose credit card Lila plans to charge on? I'm glad you liked the chapter! I can hardly wait for the new chapter of 'Tempest'! Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there Red! I read the new chapter of "This Soap Opera Called Life" and I loved it. Anne ended being something she hated all along. How ironic, and yet appropriate. And you should let Beach-Head rip the Rangers tattoo off Stryker. Yep, Scott got mauled. How great is that? It's pretty funny. I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Enjoy this new one!_

_To Sparky Genocide: Hey there Sparky! Blob ordering room service and putting it on Pietro's tab? Yes, that's doable. Uhm…I thought your idea with Wanda and Lila was…interesting, but I doubt Wanda would be up to it. Lila probably would, just for a laugh. Anyway, I hope you like the new chapter!_

_To Raliena: Hey there, Rae! It's alright. Victor and Vince are not heard often as names. Tigers, huh? I'll see what I can do for that. Enjoy the new chapter! _

_To Aaron: Yes, the Brotherhood has finally arrived in __Miami__! Yeah, Todd was at a great high in his life. He took down a feared space conqueror, only to go through a crushing low. It's alright, though. He'll cheer up. Don't worry about it! Yeah, the guys wanted to leave Pietro behind, but he followed them with his speed **(Lila: I'm going to break his legs when we get home)**. I think Lila and Wanda would be good friends. South Beach, huh? The site of Spring Break! I like it! Enjoy the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "Who's your daddy?"**

Chapter 25: Mutants in Miami, Part 4!

**Miami****Florida**

On the beach, Lance and Paul were busy making an Empire State Building out of sand. Lila, in a black bikini and gold sunglasses, was sunning herself next to them. Lance looked up and saw Todd sitting dejectedly at the shore. The waves washed near Toad, but he seemed to not care much. He was clad in a white sleeveless t-shirt and orange trunks.

"Man, Todd's really out of it." Lance noticed.

"Yeah." Paul agreed. "Poor guy. I feel sorry for him."

"No kidding." Lila noted. Todd got up and walked away with his head down. "Hey Toddy! Where you going?"

"Ice cream." Toad mumbled as he started hopping away. Lila blinked, then she shook her head sadly. Lila thought of Todd as a little brother, and she hated seeing him like this. He wasn't the happy guy she met back on that prison spacecraft.

"Poor guy. If only there was something I could do for him." Lila said to the boys.

"You really do care about him, don't you?" Lance asked.

"He's become kind of a brother to me, Lance." Lila said. "Everyone looks at him, and they think he's a leper. He's a nice guy underneath that toad-like skin. I wish there was someone else out there who would see that. But you know how people are about looks these days."

"Tell me about it." Lance rolled his eyes. "Sometimes, I think Kitty only wants me around for my pretty face."

"You have a pretty face?" Lila teased. Lance took a playful swing at her.

**The Brotherhood's hotel room**

"Yes…" Fred Dukes, the indestructible, immovable Blob, sat on the couch, Pietro's credit card in his meaty hand. He smiled at the card. It was a credit card entrusted to Pietro by Magneto. Pietro kept it out of the Brotherhood's reach, but he didn't count on an experienced and skilled space thief like Lila Cheney to find it. While he went out 'checking out the chickies', Lila gave the card to Blob, telling the big Texan mutant to have some fun. Therefore, Fred decided to have a ball Blob-style: A buffet fit for a king. And the best part, when Magneto got the bill, Pietro's neck would be wrung. "Yes, I'd like the following. Bear with me, this is going to be a big one…" Wanda and Craig walked by, noticing Fred.

"Have fun, Fred." Wanda said. She was clad in a one-piece red swimsuit. Craig had on black trunks, and his leather jacket. Fred smirked.

"No hanky-panky, you two." Fred teased.

"Why I oughta…" A blushing Craig stepped forward, ready to hit Fred. Wanda took his arm.

"C'mon Craig, let him order his food." Wanda chuckled, pulling him out of the room. Fred smiled.

"Ahhh…L'amour…" Fred grinned.

**On the beach**

Todd hopped sadly towards the ice cream shop. He needed chocolate to make him feel better. He didn't really watch where he was going.

"HEY!!!" A female voice exclaimed as Todd knocked into someone.

"Whoa!" Todd fell on his butt. He shook his head and opened his eyes. "Whoa…" Todd noticed he knocked into a beautiful girl around his age. Her black hair with the electric blue streaks in it fell over her face. "Sorry, yo."

"Watch where you're going!" The girl snapped. Todd blinked. The girl pointed to her tackle box. "You nearly made me spill my tackles! Those things are a nightmare to clean up!"

"Oh, sorry yo." Todd got to his feet. He tried to pull the girl up, but she waved him off.

"I'm alright. No one got hurt." The girl sighed. "Besides, none of my tackles fell out."

"I'm Todd Tolensky, yo." Todd introduced himself.

"The name's Althea." The girl smiled. "Althea Delgado. I've never seen you around here before. New to town?"

"Kind of, yo. I'm visiting with some friends." Todd replied. "I was about to get some ice cream."

"Oh." Althea said. She picked up her tackle box. "Well…I _was_ going to get some ice cream myself. Maybe we can have some together?"

"Yeah, sure." Todd shrugged. Althea smiled. The two went over to the stand together. Unbeknownst to the Toad, a certain English boy was watching. And he did not look to happy.

"_What_ is _that **thing**_ with me girl?" Vincent scowled. "I don't like this. He's looking at her funny. I think I had better have a chat with frog-boy over there."

**Bayville Zoo**

Duncan walked into the zoo, hoping to see some animals.

"Ahh, I love the zoo. Especially the pandas." Duncan said to himself. He started humming happily.

"Look out! A couple of the tigers escaped!" Someone exclaimed.

"Huh?" Duncan blinked. "AAAAAAGH!!!!!" The escaped tigers leapt on him and started mauling him. "WHY COULDN'T IT BE THE DOGS AGAIN!?!?! AAAAAAGH!!!!! OWWW!!!! THAT HURTS!!! HELP ME!!!"

**The Supermarket**

Principal Robert Edward Kelly was wheeling his cart up the cereal aisle.

"Let's see…" Kelly looked at the various cereals. "There are so many cereals for kids, and they are so sugary. Hey look, Bran-Os." Kelly took a couple boxes of cereal and put them in the cart. He was about to wheel off when… "AAAAAAGH!!!!" Cereal boxes flew everywhere as a pack of dogs leapt out of the aisle and started mauling Kelly. "OWWWWCH!!! HELP ME!!! SAVE ME!!!!! SAVE ME!!!! OWWWWIE IT HURTS!!!! MOMMA OWWWW!!!!!"

Well, well, well! Looks like Todd found himself a new friend! What insanity will happen next? What is Vincent up to? How will Kelly and Duncan get wounded further? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	26. Mutants in Miami, Part 5!

**The Starr Chronicles**

_To soulstress: Hey there soulstress! Yeah, Fred's getting stuffed tonight! And he's not the only one who will be using that card. Well, I figured Lance and Lila would bond because they're both guitar players. Well, both Toad and Al hate Vince so it's not going to be that much of a problem. Don't worry, Vince will get his butt kicked. Just wait and see. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for the new chapter of 'Tempest'!_

_To Firefly25: Hey there, Firefly! Man, those are some great suggestions! I remember what the Misfits did to the Baroness. Yeah, the Brotherhood are sampling the high life, and I loved the ideas for Scott and Duncan torture. I hope you like the new chapter, and I can't wait to beta-read the new chapter of 'Reindeer Flotilla'!_

_To Emily Crane: Hey there, Emily! It's been a while! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! I'm glad you liked seeing Todd meet Althea. I sincerely hope you like this new one! Keep reading and reviewing!_

_To Sparky Genocide: Hey there, Sparky! Hmm…let me see if I can get this straight: Lila covers up Blob's credit card usage by tricking him into getting naked, locking him in a closet, calling Mystique, and telling him Pietro has a present waiting for her? Sounds interesting, but I want to try to keep this fic PG-rated. Thanks for the suggestion, anyway. I hope you like the new chapter!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there Red Witch! I'm glad you liked the torture! There will be more! I read the new chapter of "This Soap Opera Called Life", and I loved it! Proteus has some serious daddy issues, dudette. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Metal Dragon1: Hey there Metal Dragon! I read the new chapter of "Take the Long Way Home" and I loved it! I love the way you portray Kid Razor, and I can hardly wait for the next chapter! I needed a running gag, and I'm starting to run out of animal-themed ways of tormenting Duncan and Kelly myself. I want to torture them on every chapter. Maybe I should start borrowing cues from the Road Runner cartoons. I'm glad you liked the chapter. Knowing Vincent, his little attempt at "chatting" with Todd will be most likely to end up getting his butt kicked. I'm glad you liked the little Craig/Wanda thing, and I believe that Fred was wise in his own little way, so I decided to bring it out. He's not very 'book-smart', but he's very wise when it comes to how people feel, I think. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Aaron: Hey there Aaron! I thought it'd be cool to see Lance and Paul build a sand skyscraper. I liked doing the meeting between Todd and Althea. Don't worry, man! You'll get to see how Althea reacts to the Brotherhood. Well, Lila had a rough past. In the comics, she was born an Earth girl, but she was sold to an intergalactic slave trader as a child because of her powers. So, I can imagine she'd feel for someone who had it rough, like Todd. Let's just Pietro will end up getting himself into **real** trouble if he ever tried to bully around Todd. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Raliena: Hey Rae! Yeah, there are tigers here! I'm glad you liked the tigers. When is Althea's dad going to show up? I'm not sure. Anyway, enjoy the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "But I wanna stay home and play Mario Brothers!"**

Chapter 26: Mutants in Miami, Part !

**The Brotherhood House**

A taxi pulled up in front of the Brotherhood House. A familiar blond-haired boy left the taxi, and he pulled out a couple briefcases, and a drum kit from the back.

"Thank you." He said to the driver in an Australian accent. He took his stuff and went up to the door and knocked on it. "Guys?" He knocked again. "Guys?" He knocked a third time. "Hello?"

**Miami****Florida**

"Your dad was a SEAL?" Todd blinked. "Wow." He and Althea were walking down the beach.

"Yeah…former US Navy man, former SEAL, I think he also did government work." Althea replied. "So, you're here with friends?"

"Yeah, and here's a few of them." Todd grinned. "Hey guys!" He waved as he and Althea Delgado walked up to Paul, Lance, and Lila.

"Hey Todd! Who's your friend?" Paul smiled.

"Hey guys! This is Althea." Todd smiled as he motioned to Al. "She's from right here in Miami! Al, this is Paul Starr. Yes, he always dresses like that. That's Lance Alvers, and my friend Lila Cheney!"

"You look time-tossed." Althea laughed at Paul. Paul shrugged.

"It's my thing."

"What's going on here?" Wanda said as she walked up, Craig alongside her.

"Althea, that's Wanda Maximoff, and the surly guy next to her is my twin brother Craig." Paul grinned. "Guys, this is Althea Delgado." Wanda looked at Althea.

"Another girl around the house. Finally the ratio evens out a little." Wanda said.

"Huh?" Althea blinked.

"Uhm, that's a long story." Todd gulped.

_These guys are weird._ Althea thought. _Although they are nice. And that Todd is kind of odd-looking, but he is sweet. Much different from that jerk Vincent._

"I'm going to go get some more ice cream, yo." Todd hopped off toward the ice cream shack. On the way there, he found himself ambushed. "Hey!" Someone shoved him to the ground. "Who are you?" He found Vincent standing over him, a scowl on his face.

"I don't like you, Yank." Vincent James scowled at the Toad.

"Who are you, yo?" Todd blinked.

"The name is Vincent. Let me warn you, mate. Althea is _mine._ She's _my_ girl. I suggest you stay away from her or else there will be consequences. I am a very important person, mate. I know people. Stay away from Althea, or I will make your life here in Miami miserable." Vincent warned angrily. Todd blinked. As soon as he heard the name 'Vincent James', something in Todd's mind clicked.

"Wait a minute, yo. Althea told me about you." Todd snickered as he got to his feet. "She calls you a virus because she says you're irritating and you won't go away. She also says that you're a pathetic worm, yo." Todd hopped to the ice cream shack. "See you around, Vinnie!" Todd laughed. He got the ice cream then hopped back to the others. Vincent watched him with a scowl, and rage in his eyes.

_You **will** stay away from me girl, Frog-boy…If you're not going to do what you're told, I guess I'm going to have to **make** you stay away from Althea…_Virus narrowed his eyes, and they started to glow a bright electronic green. _I have powers…and I am willing to use them!_

"Hey guys…" Todd returned with the ice cream. "Hey Al, I just ran into that idiot Vince."

"Let me guess. He threatened you, right?" Althea smirked. Todd nodded. "Don't mind him. He thinks I'm madly in love with him. A lot he knows."

"Who is Vincent James?" Paul asked.

"Ever heard of James Electronics?" Althea asked.

"Yeah. They make electronic components and devices." Todd blinked. "They started in England, I think."

"That dork Vince is the son of the owner." Althea grinned. "He's heir to the company. Kid's a genius, albeit arrogant and a major jerk."

"So he's rich." Craig reasoned.

"Very." Al said. "They say the kid's…weird."

"Weird, how?" Lance wondered.

"They say he has some kind of empathy with machines. The guy's good with them." Althea answered.

"So? Nothing unusual." Paul blinked. "Many people are good at something. Maybe Vince just has a talent for fixing machines."

"I saw him…change once." Al said. "He turned into…a shadow. A black shadow with green binary code covering it. He leapt into a computer. It sounds crazy, I know. But I know what I saw!" The Brotherhood all looked at each other.

"Uhm, Al…" Todd gulped. "We kind of have an idea how Virus was able to do that." Pietro zipped up.

"What's going on?" He asked. "Who are you?" Pietro asked Althea. Althea's jaw dropped.

"How'd you run so fast?" Althea blinked.

**A Radio Shack in Bayville**

Principal Kelly walked into the local Radio Shack.

_Well, here's a good place to ask for some help about my palm PC._ Kelly thought as he walked in.

"Yes, may I help you?" An employee walked up to him. Kelly smiled.

"Yeah, I was having some trouble with my little palm pilot." Kelly showed it to the employee. He took out the stylus pen and poked it. "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Kelly screamed as he got shocked by a huge blast of electricity from the small device. A smoking Kelly fell to the ground. "Oog."

**Duncan's House**

Duncan Matthews, Bayville High's star football player, was having trouble with his new DVD player. The device opened up, but it would not close.

"Stupid lousy…" Duncan grumbled and cursed as he tried to push the door closed, but it would not budge. "I _hate_ these things…" Duncan sighed, putting his hand on the door. It started to close. "Hey what!?" The door closed, jamming Duncan's fingers. "AAAAAAAAAAGH!!!! HELP ME!!!" Duncan screamed as he tried to remove his hand. "HELP ME YEEEEEEOWWWWWW!!!!!!" Duncan got electrocuted.

Well, well, well! Looks like somebody's got some explaining to do! What insanity will happen next? What'll happen to Kelly and Duncan next? What's up with Virus? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	27. Mutants in Miami, Part 6!

**The Starr Chronicles**

_To Sparky Genocide: Hey there Sparky! Let's see…hmmm…don't get me wrong, man. I love your suggestions. They are real funny, but I want to try to keep this fic PG-rated. But I did like the idea with the rabid skunks. That was cool, man. Way cool. I think I just may use the dead skunk idea. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Raliena: Hey there, Rae! What makes you say Althea hasn't got her powers yet, huh? You never know, Rae. Kelly try to blow up the mansion, and get blown up himself? I like that. However, how the heck is Kelly going to pull that off? He's not even a Senator yet! Enjoy the new chapter, Rae!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there Red! I love watching Kelly and Duncan get electrified too. I think the Brotherhood will be pleasantly surprised. I read the new chapters of "This Soap Opera Called Life" and I loved them! Man, why do I get the feeling that the X-Men and Misfits will get a new enemy, and the Hellions will get a new member in the form of a certain young Apache super-warrior? I can't wait for more, Red! Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To soulstress: Hey there soulstress! I read the new chapter of 'Tempest' and I loved it! Man, Empath and Roulette are real sociopaths in that fic, huh? Does Wavedancer have her powers yet? Why don't we find out, shall we? Enjoy the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "Are you high or are you just incredibly stupid?"**

Chapter 27: Mutants in Miami, Part 6!

**The Brotherhood House**

"Hello?" St. John Allerdyce, the insane Australian drummer/gothic romance novelist/Acolyte codenamed Pyro, opened the door to the Brotherhood House, and let himself in. "Guys?" He threw his bags down and pouted. "Well, ain't that bonzer! The Acolytes send me here because they think I'm annoying, I have no idea why, and no one's here to say g'day!" He looked around as he went upstairs. He wandered into Paul's room. One could tell the door by the fact there was a silver star on the door with 'Paul' written on it in purple letters. It was a cheery room. The walls were painted purple, and decorated with posters of Kiss. "No way…" The room was neat, unlike most of the other rooms in the house. The bed was made, clothes were neatly put in the drawer and closet. A purple guitar was propped on a stand next to the bed. What caught John's eye was a framed picture on the dresser next to the bed. The pyromaniac sat on the bed and picked it up. "Paul…Jennifer…Are they here as well?"

**Miami****Florida**

"How'd you run so fast?" Althea's jaw dropped. "Are you guys like me?"

"Huh?" Lance blinked.

"Well, you see, ever since birth, I was born…special." Althea pulled back her black-and-blue hair, revealing slits under her ears.

"Those are gills." Paul said. "You can breathe in water."

"Yeah." Althea nodded. She smirked. "See the ocean over there?"

"Yeah…" Wanda blinked curiously. Althea walked over to the water. She held her hand out and her eyes glowed blue. Some water appeared to float from the ocean, and it formed a sphere the size of a baseball. Althea waved her hand and the water ball flew through the air at incredible speed, whacking Pietro in the face. "You made that water do that!"

"I'm an aquakinetic." Althea explained. "I have the ability to mentally control water."

_Just like Pyro, only that lunatic does it with fire._ Pietro thought as he got to his feet.

"You can breathe in water and control water? That's pretty cool." Lila grinned.

"So you're a mutant. Like me, yo." Todd smiled. "Like all of us here."

"Is that why he can run so fast?" Althea asked Todd, pointing at Pietro with her thumb.

"Yeah. Pietro's whole body is adapted for speed, yo." Todd grinned. The Brotherhood introduced themselves to Althea and told them about their abilities.

"Okay, let me get this straight…" Althea pointed at Todd. "You have an amphibian-based mutation…"

"Yup." Todd grinned.

"You can teleport…" Althea pointed at Lila.

"Not to mention wow a certain farmboy with my looks." Lila winked with a laugh.

"Huh? Farmboy?" Althea blinked.

"That's a long story." Lance groaned.

"You can screw up probabilities." Althea pointed at Wanda. Wanda nodded. She pointed at Paul and Craig. "You both can fire laser beams from your eyes and have hypnotic powers."

"Yeah, that's our powers." Paul grinned.

"You can create earthquakes." Althea pointed at Lance. Lance nodded.

"I sometime use it to bring the house down on these lunatics." Lance sighed.

"Hey guys, what's going on? Who's she?" Fred wondered as he walked up to the group.

"You can't be hurt and have incredible strength." Althea said, pointing at Fred.

"Not to mention I can't be moved. I'm the Blob!" Fred smirked, crossing his large arms.

"Fred, this is Althea Delgado. She's a mutant like us." Lance answered. "She can breathe underwater and she can control water."

"The silver-haired guy is fast." Althea nodded. "Gotcha."

"Not to mention incredibly good-looking." Pietro smirked.

"Wow." Althea blinked. "And I thought I was the only mutant around." Althea blinked.

"There's more mutants than you think, Al." Todd said.

"X-Dorks." Lila coughed. Lila didn't really hate the X-Men. But she did think of them as kind of dorky. Well, except for Sam, of course.

"So, are you all new in town?" Althea wondered.

"Oi!" A familiar English-accented voice exclaimed.

"Oh God…" Althea groaned in embarrassment. Vincent marched up to the Brotherhood.

"Who are you lot?! And what are you all doing with me girl?!" Vincent snapped.

"Go away, Vince!" Althea snapped.

"Guys, meet Vincent." Todd groaned.

"You…" Vincent growled, grabbing Toad by his shirt collar and forced him to his feet. "I thought I told you to stay away from Althea." Lila and Fred grabbed Vincent.

"I suggest you put him down before we hurt you." Lila warned.

"You are not my owner, Vincent. You're a psycho and a jerk!" Althea snapped. "I don't like you!" Vincent eyed Fred's Dallas Cowboys shirt.

"You like the Cowboys?" Vince asked.

"I'm from Texas and proud of it." Blob replied simply. Vincent sneered.

"I saw the Cowboys take on the Dolphins in a game last week. The Cowboys played like bloody Cowgirls." Vincent laughed. "ACK!!" Before he knew it, the Blob's huge hand was around his neck. Blob growled.

"You know, there's a saying in America, Vinnie: 'Don't Mess With Texas'." Blob snarled. With one mighty throw, he sent a screaming Vincent flying.

"Wow. That was cool." Althea grinned. "Hey listen, you guys want a guided tour around Miami? I know this town." Althea offered. The Brotherhood looked at each other.

"Okay." They all said. Pietro opened his mouth.

"Shut it!" Wanda snapped, punching out her twin. "Don't mind him. He doesn't know when to stop at times."

"That's alright." Althea shrugged. "Besides…I think that Todd's kind of cute." Wanda's jaw hit the ground in shock.

**An Amusement Park**

Duncan Matthews was having a little fun. He was at a Skee-Ball booth, and he was on a roll.

"Alright! 500 tickets! I rock!" Duncan whooped. He went over to the counter, but he noticed something: A furry black animal with a white striped tail. "WHAT THE?!"

"SKUNK!!!!" Someone screamed. The patrons ran for their lives.

"AAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!! MY EYES!!!!!" Duncan screamed. He got sprayed. "OH GOD THE SMELL!!!! WHY COULDN'T I BE MAULED BY DOGS?!?!"

**Bayville Paint Shop**

"Let's see…" Kelly said to himself. He was looking at some paint swatches. "Ooh, this one's nice." An employee carrying paint cans near him slipped.

"Whoops!"

"AAAAAGH!!!" Kelly screamed. He got hit in the head by the cans, and covered in paint. "I CAN'T SEE!!!" He stumbled about in a blind panic, until he knocked into an aisle of paint cans, causing the aisle to crash down on top of Kelly. "OWWWWWWCH!!!!! I miss the dogs."

Well, well, well! Looks like the Brotherhood's ranks are still growing! What insanity will happen next? Why is Pyro at the Brotherhood House? Does Althea really think Todd is cute? What'll Vincent do now? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	28. Mutants in Miami, Part 7!

**The Starr Chronicles**

_To Firefly25: Hey there Firefly! It's been a long time since you reviewed my fics. I hope you review more often! What's John going to do in or **do to** Bayville? Who knows, knowing that fire-obsessed lovable lunatic. Let me see if I can get this straight. John creates a band of fire with himself as a drummer. He gets an audience who end up enjoying it. __Duncan__ runs his mouth, and gets chased by a Cerberus made of fire. Hey, that idea is AWESOME!!! I LIKE IT!!! I'll see if I can fit it in somewhere. Yeah, I have to do a Superstars/Kid Razor jam session sometime. Maybe Razor will release a song about Scott. It'd be titled "Nerd with a Visor" or something. Enjoy the new chapter, man, and I can't wait to beta-read Chapter 2 of 'Reindeer Flotilla'!_

_To Sparky Genocide: Hey there Sparky! Yes, Pyro is on the scene! John setting fire to Pietro's underwear drawer? I like that idea! I'll see if I can fit it in somewhere. I also like your idea of squirrels attacking Kelly. I'll see what I can do with that. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Kaishin Briefs: Hey there Kaishin! It has been way too long since I last heard from you! Where were you? Good thing indeed that nobody told Blob about Monday's game with the Eagles. I'm not much of a football fan, but even I know it doesn't take much to determine that the Blob is a big Cowboys fan. He's big and from __Texas__. Are the Raiders in LA or __Oakland__ now? That team moves around more often than a shark on a sugar rush! You have to take Angelica to that movie Saw? I heard that movie was **really** creepy. Glad you liked the Vincent torture. Enjoy the new chapter, and keep on reading and reviewing._

_To Metal Dragon1: Hey there Metal Dragon1! Well, I think that Paul would be overjoyed to see John again, yet get a little confused as to why he's there. I would imagine Althea would be confused by the Brotherhood/Acolytes thing, and yeah, she may not like the connection to the Acolytes and Magneto. Yeah, Ol' Vinnie really got a taste of what happens to those who mess with the Brotherhood and their friends. I doubt Kelly will get a discount at the hospital, and yeah, __Duncan'__s scent matches his attitude now. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can't wait for the new chapter of 'Take the Long Way Home'!_

_To soulstress: Hey there soulstress! Yeah, that word describes Vincent perfectly. Yeah, I'm torturing Duncan and Kelly in new and various ways. The dogs will be back. Unlucky my butt, Roulette made him unlucky. Which is why Ace is careful with her, despite his healing powers. How the heck am I going to get John to __Miami__? Enjoy the new chapter, and I can?t wait for the new chapter of 'Tempest'! _

_To Red Witch: Hey there Red! I read the new chapters of 'This Soap Opera Called Life' and I loved them! Man, the X-Men get more enemies, If Thunderbolt were there, he would have pounded James Proudstar into the ground. I evo-tized him first too! He made an appearance in 'Misfit Cannonball Run', but he was fourteen in my fic, not seventeen like in yours. Knowing Warpath, he'll go after Colossus first. I like your meeting idea, I'll see what I can do for that. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To RogueFanKC: Hey there, Rogue! I read the new chapter of 'Light in the Heart of the Misfit' and I have a theory? What if Justin was emitting a pheromone that stimulated hatred in humans, a power not part of his X-Gene package, like the Jessica Drew Spider-Woman. She could emit pheromones that caused men to desire her and women to despise her. She had no X-Gene. Yeah, Vincent doesn't know when to shut up. I like the Giants and Patriots myself. You like __Duncan__ being skunked, huh? Well, I'll see if I can put in more of that. Enjoy the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "How does he do that?" - Me on Bo Jackson's ability to play both football and baseball**

Chapter 28: Mutants in Miami, Part 7!

**The Brotherhood House**

"Man, I'm hungry." St. John Allerdyce, the Acolyte known as Pyro, grinned to himself as he ate a sandwich in Pietro's room. He was watching TV. "Man, I love CSI." He flicked open his lighter and activated it. "Whoops!" John ended up dropping his lighter. The small silver Zippo with the red-and-orange flame on it hit the floor. It caused a small fire on the carpet. "Oh, I better put that away somewhere if I need it later." John used his powers to make the small flame levitate into the air. The crazy Australian looked around for somewhere to put the flame in. "Ah!" John ran to a drawer and pulled it back, revealing Pietro's tighty-whities. "Here we go!" He put the small flame in and closed it. "Nice, snug, and safe." John leapt back on the bed and went back to the TV and his sandwich.

**Miami, ****Florida**

"Hey, there's my place!" Althea grinned happily, pointing it out to the Brotherhood.

"You _live_ there?" Pietro looked slightly horrified. Althea was pointing to a big white-and-blue houseboat tied onto the dock.

"I think it's kind of neat." Lila grinned.

"Yeah, I've lived on a boat my whole life. No big deal." Althea shrugged. "I love it. Every summer, my dad takes the houseboat out and we go on a cruise around the country."

"Wow. A houseboat." Todd blinked. "That's so awesome, yo. When you want to move, just untie the boat and sail away."

"Just make sure you get in it first." Althea groaned. "Pop untied the boat once and forgot that he was outside it. We lived in a hotel for a week!"

"Your old man don't sound too bright." Lance blinked.

"He's alright." Althea rolled her eyes, then shrugged. "He's a good dad, although I'm smarter and more mature than him."

"Ahoy mates!" A voice crowed from the boat. A man emerged from the boat with a grin. He had brown hair and a beard. He was clad in a blue Navy t-shirt, black jeans, and he wore a captain's cap.

"Hey Pop!" Althea waved. "That's my dad. He's a former SEAL, believe it or not."

"Hey Althea! Who are your friends?" The sailor man asked.

"Where are the little monsters?" Althea asked.

"I haven't seen 'em all day." The sailor shrugged. "Hey kids! The name's Hector Delgado. Everyone calls me 'Shipwreck'. I got the nickname as a joke."

"You _earned_ the nickname of 'Shipwreck' because wherever you go, disaster strikes!" Althea exclaimed. "Anyway, these are some new friends I made on the beach today: Lance, Fred, Paul, Craig, Wanda, Todd, Pietro, and Lila." Althea pointed out each of the kids as she spoke their name.

"Hey." They all said with a wave.

"They're all mutants, like me!" Althea grinned.

"Really?" 'Shipwreck' raised an eyebrow. _Hmm, I knew my daughters and son weren't the only ones._

"Yeah, you should see the powers these guys have got!" Althea grinned.

_It's amazing!_ Lance blinked. _Her father knows she's a mutant, yet he doesn't seem to have a problem with that._ Wanda, Pietro, Fred, and Todd thought along those same lines. They were told that humans would automatically despise mutants, yet here was a human father who seemed to harbor no malice towards his daughter simply because she has special powers.

"Not the only mutants in the family. All my kids are special." 'Shipwreck' Delgado grinned. "All my kids can breathe underwater. My youngest son is around one year old, and he's half-seal. I also have three middle daughters, around eleven. They're the smartest little barnacles you would've ever seen."

"Oh God." Althea groaned as Shipwreck started ranting about himself and his 'illustrious Navy career'. "Here he goes again?"

**A warehouse in Miami**

_Eleven years old. _Vincent scowled as he turned on an acetylene torch. _Eleven years old. I discovered I was special._ He looked into the flame. _I discovered that I could inhabit machines and electronic devices, not to mention control them any way I wished. I inhabited computers to get information, and me mind became sharper than a bloody laser-sharpened razor, it did. A few months afterward, this came along. I gained the ability to create. To become a god. Me mutant brain was able to create fantastic new devices and machines. To me father, I became a bloody corporate asset._ Vince walked over to something. He put on a welding mask, and started welding. _Me dad owned a small machine shop at the time. He discovered me powers, and I was no longer his son. I was his new source of income. The lazy clown. He took credit for **my** inventions and made money that was supposed to be MINE!! He built that small machine shop into James Electronics. My inventions allowed all sorts of fantastic things to exist, like better computer upgrades and even small computer games with 3D holographic displays! But me father took away my rightful money. And I highly doubt that bum put me in his will. And to make things worse, the one girl I love is being seduced by that frogboy! No problem! He may have his big lug bodyguard, but I highly doubt their combined intelligence would be capable of matching a palm tree. And as soon as this little invention of mine is done, that filthy frog will learn to stay away from me girl!_

**Ralph Wilson Stadium, ****Buffalo, ****New York**

"Whoooooo!!!!!" Duncan whooped as he enjoyed watching the game. It was a football game, pitting the hometown Bills against the visiting Cleveland Browns. People noticed the Browns all wore black neckerchiefs with yellow razor blades on them. It was easily explained that it was a bit of a superstition among the Browns. They had it ever since Cleveland got their own superhero in the form of Kid Razor. They always wore neckerchiefs with razor blades on them. "Oh man, the Bills' offense is kicking today! Whoo!" A football from the game landed in his lap. "What?" He looked up when he heard rumbling. "AAAAAAAGH!!!!!" He ended up with Cleveland's entire defensive line all over him. "Owww!! Now I know how all those guysIsquashed on the fieldfelt."

**Bayville Library**

_Nothing like sitting in the library with a nice book._ Principal Kelly smiled as he leaned back on a couch and started reading a book. "Ahh, this is the life. And the best part, no dogs." He heard a creak. "What?" He looked up, and a shelf fell on him. "OWWWWWWWW!!!!!"

"SHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" The other patrons shushed him.

Well, well, well! Looks like the madness will continue! What madness will happen next? What is Vincent working on? Will Duncan and Kelly ever get a break? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	29. Mutants in Miami, Part 8!

**The Starr Chronicles**

_To RogueFanKC: Hey there RogueFan! I read the new chapter of 'Light in the Heart of a Misfit', and it got me thinking. I think Justin has the ability to cause people's internal evil to take over by looking at them, hence the Blind Master's immunity. Also, you could stick the Wildfire Brothers with Justin. He'd be safe with them. Red Dragon and Thunderbolt are powerhouse mutants, and technically, the evil within them exists as separate entities in the form of Draconis and Darkbolt. Yeah, I think that Shipwreck may show that there are some humans that are accepting of mutants. I suppose ol' Shipwreck could end up being a bit of a father figure to the Brotherhood of Mutants. After all, they could use some real parental figures. Yeah, it is a good thing John didn't set Pietro's makeup kit ablaze. Pietro would be **really** mad, not that he would already be angry that John let a small flame fester in his underwear drawer, and we all know what would happen next. Enjoy the new chapter, and Happy Thanksgiving to you!_

_To Raliena: Hey there, Rae! Yeah, I'm looking for new ways to constantly torture Kelly and Duncan. What are the Triplets doing? Well, I think it is beast that we don't know what they are doing now. I hope you like the new chapter and the Kelly and Duncan torture contained therein!_

_To Sparky Genocide: Hey there Sparky! Kelly and Duncan running into each other and getting attacked by a flock of birds? I LIKE IT!!! I think I just may be able to pull it off. I like that idea! Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To MCM: Hey there MCM! Wow, It's been almost a year since I last heard from you! Nice to hear from you again! Can I ease up on Pietro a bit? Well, I will further on down the line. True, he did do some good stuff, but the guy did betray the Brotherhood for Magneto in Evolution and he's had numerous issues in the comics. I'll ease up on him soon, don't worry. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To ProphetSong: Hey there ProphetSong! Nice to meet you! I'm glad you liked this story so far. When will I continue? Well, I try to put out at least one chapter weekly. Normally, I manage to get in two or three a week. Better than a comic book, huh? More than one a month! Anyway, enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there Red! I think the Triplets may cause some mayhem! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for the new chapter of 'This Soap Opera Called Life'! _

_To soulstress: Hey there soulstress! Vince may be nuts, but he's not that much of a fool. What makes you think he hasn't used that power to amass a small fortune for himself? He needs to buy parts for his inventions, and parts cost money. And even Vinnie can't make money out of thin air! What will the Brotherhood think of the Triplets? They may be confused…and possibly very scared. Yeah, we all know what'll happen once they meet Jamie. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for the new chapter of 'Tempest'!_

_To Aaron: Hey there Aaron! I'm glad you liked the meeting between Althea and the rest of the Brotherhood. Yeah, Pyro's getting comfy as only he can. And you can imagine how mad Pietro will be when he discovers that John left a fire in his underwear drawer. What's Vince making? You'll see. I'm glad you liked the bonding. Here's some more for you! Enjoy the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "Polly done." - Polly the parrot, GI: Joe, Valor vs. Venom**

Chapter 29: Mutants in Miami, Part 8!

**A Houseboat in ****Miami****Florida**

"Wow." Shipwreck chuckled. "That's some variety of powers you got there." Shipwreck brought the Brotherhood into his home. It wasn't super-spacious, but there was enough room on the kitchen table for everyone.

"Yeah." Paul grinned. "We're quite a rag-tag bunch. Kind of like the Little Rascals, only teenage mutants."

"I wanna get a houseboat, yo." Todd smiled as he looked around. "They're kind of neat."

"Yeah, and if no one wants to see you around, we can shove you off, and you and your boat can float away…" Pietro grinned. "OW!" Wanda swatted him.

"It's nice living in a houseboat." Althea smiled.

"I've been on various water craft since I was a teenager." Shipwreck laughed. "In fact, I grew up near a shipyard."

"You must've enjoyed being a sailor." Lance noticed. "Your whole place has a nautical motif."

"Yeah." Shipwreck laughed. "I'm considered one of the best sailors the Navy ever had!"

"Awk! Get the booze! Awk! Get the booze!" A parrot voice crowed. A green parrot flew over the mutants.

"Hey! Get out of my hair!" Lila exclaimed.

"What the-?" yelled Lance.

"POLLY!" Althea screamed.

"They're back! They're back! Save Polly! Save Polly!" The parrot screamed.

"Oh God, they're back." Althea moaned.

"Who's back?" Lila asked.

"You don't want to know." Shipwreck moaned. "You _really_ don't want to know."

"Try three tiny little terrors." Althea groaned. Three figures walked into the room.

"Hi!" They greeted sweetly. They were three identical girls, around eleven. They were all clad in identical pink t-shirts and jeans. They all had black hair and blue eyes. One had a ponytail on the left side of her head, one had a ponytail on the right side, and the third had pigtails.

"EEEEEEK!!!!!!!" Todd screamed and jumped under the table. The other Brotherhood members rolled their eyes. Althea couldn't help but chuckle. Todd was one silly guy.

"I'm Daria!" The girl with the right-side ponytail introduced.

"I'm Quinn!" The left-ponytailed girl continued.

"And I'm Brittany!" The pigtailed girl finished. She was holding a baby boy who appeared to be half-seal. "And the baby's Claudius."

"What did you do to my son?!?! WHAT IS HE WEARING!?!?!?" Shipwreck shouted. The Brotherhood noticed Claudius was clad like a doll.

"He's our little dolly." Brittany grinned.

"What're you trying to do, destroy that kid's masculinity?!" Lance exclaimed.

"Girls, clean him up and put him in his normal clothes. We got guests here." Shipwreck groaned. The triplets whined and took the baby to their room. "Those are my other daughters and my son Claudius. The girls are incredibly smart."

"Unfortunately, their genius comes with insanity." Althea moaned.

"Are they always like that?" Wanda wondered.

"Yup." Shipwreck sighed. "They are always like that. Unfortunately." As Shipwreck talked about the insanity his three triplet daughters get into, Lila noticed something.

"Yo Toddy, you okay?" Lila whispered. She noticed Todd was staring at Althea funny. Lila was able to put two and two together. _Oh, I get it…_Lila mentally smirked. _Looks like this vacation was a good idea after all._

**A warehouse in Miami**

Vincent James pulled up his welding mask and smiled at his completed creation.

_Ah yes…_The arrogant English mutant thought. _This'll do it! This'll teach that bloody Toad to leave me girl alone! And it'll also allow me to deal with his bloody friends. They are going to learn that I want me Althea, and Vincent James always gets what he wants._

**Bayville Arena**

Duncan Matthews was sitting front-row at a wrestling event in the Bayville Arena. It was an independent wrestling federation.

"Man, this is awesome." Duncan smirked. He was watching a battle royal. A whole bunch of guys were trying to force this 400-pound man in red overalls over the top rope. "Oh man, this is so awesome." What Duncan did not realize was that mutants were often welcomed in the wrestling world. And one with super strength, with long black hair, and clad in pink-and-purple trunks with tassles hanging down the sides lifted up the huge red overall-wearing wrestler and pitched him over the top rope to the fans' delight. Duncan noticed the red overall-wearing wrestler was about to land. On him. "AAAAAAAAAGH!!!!! OWWWWWWWCH!!!!"

**Bayville Pet Store**

"Let's see…" Principal Kelly looked at the fish in the tank, a little yellow fish. "Oh that's a nice fish. A little pricey, though. But it is a nice fish."

"Can I help you sir?" An attendant asked.

"No thanks, I'm just looking at the fish."

"Oh God!" A yell came from the back. Some screams of patrons were heard.

"What the AAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!" Kelly screamed as a Rottweiler started mauling him. "I THOUGHT THIS WAS OVER!!!!!!!!!! HELP ME!!!!!!! AUGH!!!!!!"

Well, well, well! Look what's back. What insanity will happen next? What did Vince build? Will Kelly and Duncan ever get a break? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	30. Mutants in Miami, Part 9!

**The Starr Chronicles**

_To Kaishin Briefs: Hey there Kaishin! It's been a long time since I last heard from you, man! Glad to hear from you again! I love your story! I edited the first chapter and sent it to you. How come you didn't use it? Yeah, the Brotherhood have just met the Triplets. I hope they survive too, man. I hope Jonas can survive Angelica, based on the way you seem to have him wrapped around her finger. Well, Vinnie boy is not quite right, you see. He's so in love with Althea he's in his own little world. You'll find out what Vince's invention is. Enjoy the new chapter! _

_To Red Witch: Hey there Red! I read the new chapter of "This Soap Opera Called Life" and I loved it! Man, the X-Men and Misfits can't get a night of peace to themselves. Not to mention the Judge needs a nice long vacation. Yeah, the madness shall continue! Enjoy the new chapter and I can't wait to read the new chapter of "This Soap Opera Called Life"!_

_To Firefly25: Hey there Firefly! Yes indeed, cry havoc and let loose the triplets of war. I can imagine them wanting to perform strange experiments on Pietro **(Pietro: AUGH!! HELP ME!!!)**. __St. John__ forming a Cerberus from the fans' lighter flames during his fire concert? I LIKE IT!!! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait to beta-read the new chapter of 'Reindeer Flotilla'!_

_To Prophet-Song: Hey there, Prophet-Song! Yeah, the dogs are back, among others. It's been a while, but here's your update for you! I hope you like it! What is Vince up to? Well, you'll find out! Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To soulstress: Hey there soulstress! Yeah, the dogs have returned. I figured they still need to make the occasional appearance. Yes, Trinity is insane, but they are very smart. I guess genius and insanity are a package deal, take it or leave it. I'm glad you liked seeing __Duncan__ get crushed by the haystack Calhoun wannabe. I'm trying to put in other ways of torturing Duncan and Kelly every chapter, but don't worry. They still will get mauled by dogs some more. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can't wait to read the new chapter of 'Tempest'!_

_To Raliena: Hey there Rae! Yeah, poor Claudius. Can't help but wonder how this will impact him growing up. As for your question, yes, I am back to dogs, but I also try to torture Kelly and Duncan other ways._

_To Sparky Genocide: Hey there Sparky! Yeah, poor poor Claudius. The kid's alone with three older sibling girls. Unuscione, huh? Which one? Angelo or his daughter Carmella? I guess either way, __Duncan__ would be beaten and humiliated (_**_Duncan_****_: WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU?!?!?!)_**_. Enjoy the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "I'd like a beer, and I'd like to see something naked!" - Jeff Foxworthy**

Chapter 30: Mutants in Miami, Part 9!

**The Brotherhood House**

"_Give me fuel, give fire, give me that which I desire, OOH!_" John sang out. The crazy pyrokinetic Aussie had just created a stage and fiery replicas of the band Metallica. He was playing his drum kit with them to a tape of Metallica's "Load" Album. A whole bunch of metalheads and bikers had gathered at the house, and were enjoying the show. They were banging their heads, and jumping around.

"Hey ladies! Me and my hotness has arrived!" Duncan Matthews crowed as he walked up. The whole thing went to a stop as everyone looked at him weirdly. "What?" John took control of the lighter flames that some had held up and used them to form flaming Rottweilers. "OH GOD NOT AGAIN!!!! AAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!" The fiery dogs started mauling Duncan. "HELP ME!!!! NOT AGAIN!!!! MOMMY!!!!! WHY GOD WHY?!?!?!" The metalheads hooted in delight.

"You rock, Allerdyce!"

**A beach in Miami**

Fred, Todd, and Lila walked down the beach.

"You okay, Toddy?" Lila pulled down her golden sunglasses and looked down at Todd. The amphibious mutant had a dumb grin on his face. Not to mention his hop seemed to have a little extra spring to it. Lila smirked. "Yo Big Man."

"Yeah?" Fred looked at Lila. He was busy eating a sandwich.

"Look at Toady over here." Lila chuckled, pointing at Todd. "Didn't he used to look at Wanda like that?" Fred noticed.

"Yeah, I guess so." Fred noticed. He then looked at Lila suspiciously. "Okay Cheney, I'm not half as dumb as people think I am. You had an ulterior motive for this."

"Not really." Lila admitted. "I just wanted to cheer Todd up. And it looks like Todd's gotten more than cheer in him."

**Nearby Althea's houseboat**

Wanda and Althea sat on a pier near the boat Althea called home. The two mutant girls were talking. They had been talking for a while.

"I can't believe there are other mutants out there besides me and my siblings." Althea said to Wanda.

"Yeah." Wanda agreed. "There are quite a lot more mutants out there." _Including my father, Mr. Queen of Jerks._ "So…how come your dad is raising you alone? Where's your mother?" Althea's face turned hard.

"Hopefully dead." Althea answered simply. "And if she isn't, I would love to arrange it." Wanda decided to let it drop.

"I…see." Wanda nodded. "You're not the only who hates one of your parents. I detest my old man."

"Abandoned you?" Althea wondered. Wanda nodded.

"You could say that." The hexcaster said.

"You know, I never really had many friends." Althea admitted. "You know, people might see me as some kind of monster if they found out my secret."

"Craig Starr, the boy with the black star on his face, said we all have a monster living within us, human and mutant alike. Some fear that monster, others try to tame it, and some let it take over." Wanda told Althea.

"Looks like your friend Craig is rather wise, for a kid from the streets of LA." Althea smirked. Wanda blushed.

"Yeah, he is." Wanda mumbled. Althea laughed. "What's so funny?"

"You like him, don't you?" Althea grinned widely. Wanda blinked.

"NO!"

"Yeah, you do! You blush whenever you think about him." Althea laughed. Wanda scowled.

"Well, let's talk about the way you look at Toad." Wanda scowled.

"What? He's kind of cute." Althea blinked.

"You think he's cute?" Wanda blinked. "He's annoying, not too bright, and he won't leave me alone!"

"I think he's rather sweet. He's got these eyes that are so expressive, yet show an inner wisdom." Althea smiled.

"His eyes are yellow." Wanda blinked.

**Downtown ****Miami**

It was your average day in Miami. The sky was blue, the sun was shining, and the people were having fun and going about their normal routine. A businessman was sitting at a table when he heard a rumbling. He looked down at his coffee. He saw it ripple with the rumbling. People started looking up. They screamed in horror as the thing that caused the rumbling stomped down the street. It was a large robotic tyrannosaurus rex that was at least a story tall, and resembled the dinosaur mode of the Transformer called Grimlock. It had a gray head and glowing electronic green eyes, and it had long brown hair made of steel cables. The body was jet black and bulky, and the tail was golden-colored. The arms were gray, and had claws that had three fingers each.

"Here Froggy Boy…_Heeeeeeeere_ Froggy Boy…" An electronic version of a familiar English-accented voice called. "Where are yoooooooooou? I just want to maul you…" **_This'll_**_ teach him to stay away from me girl!_

**The Cerebro Room, Xavier Institute**

Professor Charles Xavier wheeled into the room when he heard Cerebro's alarm. He put his power-enhancing helmet on and asked the internal computer to tell him what was the alarm about. The computer screen displayed some information:

Technological-based Powers:

Possession of Electronics/Mechanics

Intuitive Invention Abilities

Xavier read the information the computer was displaying. He removed the helmet.

_X-Men, we have a new mutant on our hands._

**Bayville Mall**

Principal Kelly walked into an electronics store. He noticed a CD.

"Hey, Frankie Valli." Kelly smiled. He picked up the CD and opened it. "AAAAAAAGH!!!!! BEES!!!!!" A swarm of killer bees flew out of the CD case and started stinging the heck out of the hapless principal. "HELP ME!!! I HATE FRIGGIN' BEES!!!!! AAAAGH!!!!!" Kelly raced out into a dog kennel. "Whoa!" Kelly tripped and fell head-first into a dog cage. "OWCH!!" The dog cages opened up, and the dogs looked at the bee-covered Kelly evilly. "No OW! Be nice OW! Nice dogs OW!!! AAAAAAGH!!!" They started mauling him alongside the bees. "STUPID DOGS!!! STUPID BEES!!!! WHY GOD WHY?!?!?!?!"

Well, well, well! Looks like Miami may be in trouble! What insanity will happen next? What is Xavier up to? What's with the robotic dinosaur? And who will save Miami! Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	31. Mutants in Miami, Part 10!

**The Starr Chronicles**

_To soulstress: Hey there soulstress! I'm glad you liked the little 'Eyes are yellow' conversation between Wanda and Althea. Yeah, it's nice to see Pyro jam at the Brotherhood house, and I'm also glad you liked seeing __Duncan__ get roasted and mauled by fiery dogs. It's a nice twist, indeed. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait to see the new chapter of 'Tempest'!_

_To Chiomon: Hey there Chiomon! Nice to hear from you! I hope you keep on reviewing! The robotic Godzilla-wannabe is not Grimlock, dude. It's Vincent inhabiting a giant robot dino he built. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Prophet-Song: Hey there Prophet! Yeah, A dinosaur. Cliché, but still good. You got a friend like Pyro? I didn't think anyone would have a friend like Pyro? Is your friend a loony pyromaniac Australian? Enjoy the new chapter! _

_To Sparky Genocide: Hey there, Sparky. Ahh, Carmella. Yeah. I can actually see both Unus and Carmella beat up __Duncan__. That would be really funny to see. Althea and Jean in a cat-fight? I'll see if I can arrange that. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there, Red! I read the new chapter of "This Soap Opera Called Life" and I loved it! Yay! Evan's cleared! All is right with the world. Yeah, the X-Men are getting involved in this thing. Will Storm get hit on by Shipwreck? What do you think? Enjoy the new chapter, and can't wait for more from 'This Soap Opera Called Life'!_

_To Raliena: Hey there, Rae! I'm glad you liked John's fiery dogs. How long until Jean and Althea start to fight? You'll see. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Aaron: Hey there, Aaron! Yeah, Todd and Al are kind of attracted to one another. I don't think Wanda would really be angry. I think she'd be happy for them too. If Toad gets a girl, then he won't chase after Wanda anymore, which must thrill her to no end **(Wanda: (doing cartwheels) YEAH!!! WHOOOO!!! NO MORE TODD CHASING ME!!!! WHOOO!!!! OH HAPPY DAY!!!)**. See? Yeah, it's going to be interesting when the Brotherhood, Althea, the X-Men, and Vincent all converge. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Firefly25: Hey there Firefly! Yeah, John has gotten himself a lot of respect from Bayville's metalhead population. Yeah, I can imagine a really funny police chase occurring as a result of __Duncan__'s encounter with the dogs of flame. Yeah, it is possible that there are lots of Bubbas out there, all linked with a hive mind. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait to beta-read the new chapter of 'Reindeer Flotilla'!_

_To RogueFanKC: Hey there RogueFan! I read the new chapter of 'Light in the Heart of a Misfit', and I loved it! I would not be surprised if the X-Men **did** try to recruit Vince. After all, he hates Toad, they hate Toad, it'd fit. __Miami__'s a very resilient city. They can handle it! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait to hear more from you!_

**Disclaimer: "I didn't kill no mother#$#$#$ lion…"**

Chapter 31: Mutants in Miami, Part 10!

**Miami****Florida**

Lila Cheney, and Fred Dukes walked up to Althea on the beach. Todd was with them, but he was sitting on Fred's shoulder.

"Hey there, Al." Todd smiled. Althea smiled.

"Hey." Al replied. "Your friends are over there." She pointed at the sand, where Lance and Wanda were burying a snoozing Pietro in the sand, snickering. Paul was talking to a couple local girls, and Craig was arguing with a biker.

"Mmf…Claudia Schiffer…" Pietro mumbled. "…I am Batman…"

"Is that mumbling normal?" Wanda blinked.

"From him, yes. Keep burying." Lance answered simply. The two mutants continued burying the slumbering speedster.

"Hey wait for me!" Lila yelled, running up to the two. "I want to bury him too!" Lila left Todd and Fred with Althea.

"Hey, I want to bury stuff too!" With that, Fred left Todd alone with Al. That was perfectly fine with the amphibious mutant. He blinked at Althea.

"So…uhm…t-tell me m-more about y-yourself, yo." Todd stammered. He couldn't help but notice that Althea was beautiful. And unlike other girls gifted with beauty, she seemed to not mind him. She didn't think of him as some disgusting creature. Althea shrugged.

"What's not to tell?" Althea shrugged. "I was born here, but grew up on my houseboat. My dad was in the Navy, and he met this woman. Despite the fact he has a million and one problems, she liked him. My dad thought the world of her. That's the thing. Even though my dad is a drinker, a brawler, and a complete idiot at times, he's a good guy. So was my Mom. She didn't even mind my gills. We then had my goofy sisters, and then Claudius. Claudius being born split my parents up." She sighed sadly. "She looked at him like he was the Creature from the Black Lagoon." She looked up at Todd. "He was a baby! He can't help looking seal-like."

"I guess the reason why she tolerated you was because you still looked human." Todd nodded. "You have gills, but your hair covers them up."

"Yeah…" Althea sighed. "My dad and mom had a huge argument. She went up and left us." Althea's face turned hard. "If I ever see her again…"

"My dad wasn't the best either, yo." Todd put a hand on Althea's shoulder. "Guess those two are dating now." He tried to joke. Althea started laughing.

"I guess so!" She laughed. While the two were talking, Paul was doing some conversing with the natives.

"Oh wow!" One girl in a red bikini squealed. "You really _did_ meet Mick Jagger?!"

"Yeah." Paul grinned. "When I was six. Guy was a riot!"

"You are so cool!" A brunette in a blue swimsuit grinned. Paul chuckled.

"I'm not really that special. I'm just a regular kid from LA. I just happened to be born under a good sign, that's all." Paul heard some people run by screaming. He raced up to them. "What's wrong?"

"There's a giant metal dinosaur running rampant downtown! It's like Godzilla or something!" One of the people screamed as he ran by. Paul blinked, then he gasped and decided to tell the others.

**In the X-Jet, en route to Miami**

Scott, Logan, Storm, Jean, Kitty, Sam, and Rogue were flying in the X-Jet on the way to Miami.

"So what kind of powers does this new mutant have?" Scott asked Storm, who was flying the plane.

"According to the Professor, the boy is English and he has powers over electronic and mechanical devices." Ororo Munroe explained. "He has the power to possess machines like a ghost can possess a person. He also may have a form of intuitive ability to invent."

"Wow. Imagine the stuff you can do with that kind of talent." Kitty grinned. "Like, he could fix my computer!"

"Your computer needs fixing because you keep using it to bash people in the head." Sam chuckled. Scott groaned, rubbing the back of his head.

"No kidding." The optic blaster grumbled. Logan struggled not to burst out laughing. He remembered what Kitty did to Scott with the keyboard.

"Too bad we aren't going to Miami for a vacation." Jean sighed.

"Them's the breaks, Red." Logan said simply.

"Speaking of going places, Ah just realized something." Rogue realized. "We have seen neither hide nor hair of the Brotherhood in a couple days."

"Good riddance!" Scott growled. "I hope wherever they are, they _stay_ there!"

"What made you say that, Rogue?" Sam blinked.

"Ah miss Paul…" Rogue sniffed.

"Me too…Nobody's seen that sexy beast in a while." Jean whimpered. The girls all sighed sadly. Storm rolled her eyes. Logan rocked back and forth in his seat, hands over his mouth, and his cheeks were expanded like balloons, and his eyes were shut tightly, making him look rather comical. He was _really_ fighting not to laugh out loud at the sight of Scott fuming in his seat, with his face bright red and black steam escaping.

"I…_hate_…that…guy…" Scott growled out. It couldn't be seen under his visor, but his eye was twitching.

**A road in Bayville**

"Aw of all the luck…" Principal Kelly grumbled as he kicked his broken-down car. "Stupid jalopy…" He popped the engine door open, and coughed as he got a face full of steam. "Man, what's wrong with this thing?!" He took a close look at the engine. "I just got this car checked yesterday AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!" The engine exploded in Kelly's face. "Pain…"

**Bayville Bowl-A-Rama**

"Ahh…nothing like a nice game of bowling." Duncan Matthews smiled as he picked up a black bowling ball. He threw the ball on the hardwood lane and watched it collide into the pins. He managed to knock down seven. Duncan whooped. "Alright!" He picked up another bowling ball. "Okay, baby needs a spare." He ran down to the hardwood lane, and hurled the ball…only his fingers got stuck. A screaming Duncan hurtled down the lane and crashed into the remaining pins. Only his legs and butt showed on the lane. He managed to get the spare. "Mommy…AAAAAAAAGH!!!!" A group of dogs ran out of nowhere and started mauling his legs. "HELP ME!!!"

Well, well, well! Looks like Vincent is on the rampage! What insanity will happen next? Can Vincent be stopped? Who will try to stop him? And will Kelly and Duncan ever get a break? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	32. Battle With a Virus!

**The Starr Chronicles**

_To soulstress: Hey there soulstress! I'm not mad at you. I've been having some writer's block where this story is concerned myself, as well as concentrating on some holiday fics. Broken computers suck. I got a new one a few weeks ago. I'm glad you liked the Toad and Althea bonding, and the Scott growling about how much he hates Paul. Nobody saw **that** coming, heh heh. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there Red Witch! I read the new chapter of "Holidays Are Hazardous To Your Health" and I loved it! Alex is a superhero! Man, I'll bet Scott secretly hates Alex even more for this. You should do something with that. I'm glad you liked the Kelly and Duncan torture. I do my best to please. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Sparky Genocide: Hey there Sparky! Scott get trampled by dogs, huh? I like that idea. I'll see if I can fit it in somewhere. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Raliena: Hey there, Rae! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, the X-Men are heading into trouble. But I would not worry too much. They're trained to handle stuff like this. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To RogueFanKC: Hey there, Rogue! Yeah, they decided to bury Pietro in sand. The only reason they didn't have dynamite with him was because they didn't have any readily available at the time. Well, the X-Girls do like Paul a lot, but they don't like the crowd he hangs with. They haven't learned to see the inner good in the Brotherhood like Paul did. Anyway, enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Kaishin Briefs: Hey there Kaishin! I thought that was pretty funny, the whole Godzilla skit. Yeah, I heard Bischoff's announcement. Oh God, bring in the Elimination Chamber, baby! Enjoy the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "Do you think that there is more to life than being really really ridiculously good-looking?!" - Ben Stiller as Derek Zoolander, Zoolander**

Chapter 32: Battle with a Virus!

**The Brotherhood House**

"Ah yes!" St. John Allerdyce grinned as he lied on the living room couch of the Brotherhood House. He was typing on a laptop. "It's done at last! Me latest novel. Oh man, I can't wait to show this to the guys. Sabertooth is going to _adore_ the scene with Dr. Mendoza and the hot vampire chicks." A knock was heard at the door. "Rippa!" John whooped. He put the computer on the table, then ran to the door and opened it. "Thanks mate." John closed the door and started snacking on his pizza. "Ahhhh, this is the life." Up in Pietro's room, the fire John had left in his dresser grew to engulf the dresser, and was now dangerously close to the curtains.

**Downtown ****Miami**

The populous screamed as Vincent James, inhabiting the body of a giant robotic dinosaur, rampaged the streets of Miami.

"Look! It's Godzilla!" A Japanese man exclaimed, pointing at Vincent.

"No!" Another Japanese man corrected. "It may _look_ like Godzilla, but due to international copyright laws, it is not!"

"Still, we should run like it _is_ Godzilla!" The first Japanese man exclaimed.

"Though it isn't." The second man added. The two guys ran like heck.

"That's right! Run! Run, little people!" Vincent cackled madly, his English-accented voice made electronically distorted. "You cannot stop me!" The dinosaur roared, firing flames from its mouth. "Okay, so it's not the most intimidating invention I ever thought up. But I only want to kill Frog-Boy, so it doesn't matter." Miami PD squad cars raced up to the metal dinosaur, only to get roasted, forcing cops to abandon them. "Ha ha! Roast piggies anyone!?" A rumbling was heard and the ground shook. "WHAT?!" Virus turned and saw the Brotherhood and Althea.

"Alright Robo-rex, let's rock!" Lance scowled.

"Oh God, I hate those rock puns." Pietro groaned. "You were doing so well…"

"Will you shut up, Pietro?" Lance growled.

"Hello, mates." Vincent grinned as he turned to the Brotherhood. "Like me new look?"

"Have you gone crazy, Vince?!" Althea screamed. "What _is_ that thing?!"

"Althea darling, you might want to turn away. Your eyes shouldn't witness the carnage I'm going to put these punks through. Especially this punk!" He pointed at Toad. "You should learn to not touch things that don't belong to you."

"She doesn't like you, you robo-jerk!" Todd snapped.

"YES! SHE! DOES!!!" Vincent screeched. He reared his head back and roared. He then whipped it back, unleashing a jet of flame at the Brotherhood, which they barely dodged. Paul and Craig fired their eye lasers at the robotic dinosaur, causing Vince to roar in pain. "NEAAARGH!!!" Wanda called upon her hex powers to cause cars to fly into Vince, causing a couple explosions that burned the metal dinosaur, but did not do much else in damage. Vincent roared in rage and pain.

"Vince, stop this! You don't know what you're doing!" Althea screamed.

"I'm getting rid of those who dare to insult your honor, darling!" Vincent exclaimed in his defense, batting away Fred, Craig, Lila, and Paul. Lila fell toward a music store, and knocked into an outdoor shelf. A speaker wobbled on top of the shelf, about to fall on top of her. A groggy Lila felt something grab her at amazing speed. She knew it wasn't Pietro, because no hands were near her butt. She shook her head and grinned.

"Well, well, well. Looks like we meet again, gorgeous." Lila grinned.

"Can't you and those other Brotherhood guys stay out of trouble for five seconds?" Sam Guthrie exclaimed. Lila chuckled.

"Aww, if I do that, I wouldn't get to see your pretty face." Lila cooed, stroking Sam's cheek with one finger. "Besides, the metal dinosaur isn't our fault. Turns out there is a kind of crazy kid in there who wants a girl."

"You're kidding." The Kentucky mutant blinked.

"Let me guess, the other X-Nerds are here, right?" Lila rolled her eyes. "We always have to have little stowaways on our vacation."

"Vacation?" Sam blinked.

"Yeah, Lance and the 'established' Brotherhood boys and girl were going stir-crazy. Plus, poor little Toady was having some issues. So I decided to take everyone to Miami to get away from it all for a while." Lila smiled. "Unfortunately, that idiot in the dinosaur decides to wreck it."

"Oh, no…" Lance moaned as he saw the X-Men approach.

"Oh look, more playthings." Vincent smirked.

"What's going on here?" Althea blinked.

"Oh look who came to ruin our vacation." Wanda grumbled.

"Alvers, what did you and the rest of you thugs do? We saw on the news some rampaging robot and we figured you had something to do with it!" Scott growled.

"Huh?" Althea blinked.

"You _bet_ we got something to do with this!" Lance snapped. "We're trying to _stop_ the robot!"

"That's a laugh!" Scott snapped back.

"It's true!" Althea exclaimed. "His real name's Vincent James. He's this English jerk who thinks I'm his girlfriend! He's after Todd!"

"Todd? Why would he be after the Toad?" Scott blinked.

"He thinks Todd is trying to steal me away from him." Althea groaned. "I don't like Vincent. I know the guy. He's a major jerk."

"Uhm, hello? I'm trying to destroy you all here." Vincent groaned. "Can we get on with me slaughtering your bloody arses already?!"

**Downtown Bayville**

Principal Kelly walked out of a bookstore, happily carrying several books.

"Ahh, yes…" Kelly smiled. "Now to enjoy a nice evening of reading." He crossed the street and walked into an alley, humming to himself. He screamed when a bunch of metalheads ran out of nowhere and started pounding him. "AAAAAAGH!!! HELP ME!!!!"

**Elsewhere in Bayville**

"Thank you." Duncan said as he walked out of a car parts shop. He heard a creak from above. "Huh?" He looked around to find the source of the creaking, and found nothing. "Never mind." He walked a little way down when a hanging sign fell due to the rusty chains holding it up breaking. The sign fell on top of Duncan, spreading sparks everywhere.

**_BZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!! CRUNCH!!!!!_**

"**_YEEEOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_**"

Well, well, well! Looks like the battle with Vincent is about to begin! Can the X-Men and Brotherhood bring it together? Which group will Althea join? Can they stop Vincent? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	33. Kidnapped!

**The Starr Chronicles**

_To Chiomon: Hey there Chiomon! It has been way too long since I last heard from you. A ton of water, huh? Well, know there's an idea. I'll keep the X-Girls going on the Paul Starr Sweepstakes for a while. I'm glad you liked the constant Kelly and Duncan torture. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To mattb3671: Hey there matt! I'm glad you liked the Godzilla joke from Austin Powers: Goldmember. I thought that would be funny and appropriate considering what form Vincent is in. I'm glad you like the story and the wacky disclaimers so far. And don't worry, I will always have more Kelly and Duncan torture available. I hope you keep on reading! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait to read the new chapter of "X-Man is Australian for Mutant"! _

_To Aaron: Hey there Aaron! Yeah, typical Scott. Always blaming the Brotherhood for disasters. He can't seem to understand that sometimes, the Brotherhood just want to have a nice, relaxing vacation. How will the fight end? Whose side will Althea join? Read on and find out. And who said the Brotherhood won't have a house? Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Raliena: Hey there, Rae! Ouch. Screwing a punching bag into electrical wiring. Sounds really painful. Sounds like something those guys from Jackass would do. Glad you liked the chapter, Rae! Enjoy the new one!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there, Red Witch! Althea joining the Brotherhood? Well, I'll see what I can do. I don't know if Althea would be too thrilled with joining a group of mutants that distrusts humans. Her father is human, and he accepted her. We'll just have to see. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To RogueFanKC: Hey there RogueFanKC! Yeah, a Lila and Sam moment is good for a laugh. Well, most of the Brotherhood house will be fine. Just one room will be ruined. Guess the room. I'll see if I can do anything in the Stormwreck department for you. Enjoy the new chapter! _

**Disclaimer: "Enough talk!" - ****Arnold**** Schwarzenegger as Conan, Conan the Destroyer**

Chapter 33: Kidnapped!

**The Brotherhood Boarding House, Bayville**

"Dum dum da dee deeeeeeee…" St. John Allerdyce, the crazy Australian fire-obsessed pyrokinetic codenamed Pyro, hummed happily as he dusted the Brotherhood's coffee table, a table Lila stole from the Xavier Institute. "Ahh…" He smiled as he looked around at the living room. It was still rather condemned-looking, but it was cleaner. "I hope I made you proud, Martha. Hee hee, I remembered everything you taught me." He walked upstairs and he saw smoke coming out of Pietro's room. Pyro wrinkled his nose.

"Crikey, mate. Pietro seriously needs to stop smoking that wacky zombie. I doubt his father would approve." Pyro sighed as he continued on his way. "Now where do they put the vacuum cleaner around here?"

**Miami, ****Florida**

"Yi!" Paul screamed as he barely managed to dodge a blast of flame from a big robotic dinosaur. It was one heck of a battle. The Brotherhood and the X-Men's own Cyclops, Jean Grey, Cannonball, Rogue, Shadowcat, Storm, and Wolverine had engaged in a brutal battle with the angry metal monster. The dinosaur was actually a young English boy named Vincent James. He had used his mutant abilities to possess machinery, as well as his mutant instinct for invention to create and bring to life the robotic dinosaur.

"Hang on, honey!" Jean called as she levitated a car with her telekinetic powers. She used the same TK to send it flying into Vincent's robotic body. The car's body exploded on Vincent's back. The English teen screamed. His robotic body had shown signs of damage: some slight dents from Cannonball, plenty of slashmarks from Logan, a few lightning burns from Logan, and scars from Cyclops's optic blasts. However, the steel beast still kept on going, despite being pounded on by all sides by the X-Men and Brotherhood.

"Come on, you bloody fools!" Vincent roared. His mouth started to glow.

"Look out! He's firing another flame blast!" Logan yelled. But it wasn't. Vince spun around once as his mouth released a golden blast of light, blinding the mutant heroes. Vince stopped and admired his work.

"You can never beat a genius, mates." Vince laughed. He eyed Althea, wiping her eyes with her hands in a desperate attempt to restore her sight. "Don't worry, darling." Vince cooed, lifting her up in his metal claws gently. "I won't let that filthy slimebag take advantage of you."

"Todd…" Althea called. "Todd…what's going on?" Vincent eyed a blinded Todd staggering in front of his foot. Virus gave the amphibious mutant a kick, sending him flying through a window. Virus closed his claw gently to avoid crushing Althea. He then stomped off, leaving the defeated X-Men and Brotherhood behind.

**Mike's Pizzeria, Bayville**

Mike's Pizzeria was one of those places where the pizza was made the old-fashioned way: By hand. Sure, it took a little longer, but the pizza was excellent. And Duncan Matthews had come down to enjoy himself a slice.

"Mm mm _mm_" Duncan smiled and rubbed his hands together. "This pizza is going to be yummy. I can't wait to have some." An employee walked by, carrying a big wooden spatula used to handle pizza. The employee slid on a puddle and fell to the ground. In the process, he pitched the spatula backward. The big wooden tool flew backwards and clonked Duncan in the back of the head. "OW!" Duncan clutched his head. "Hey!"

"Hey, where'd these dogs come from?!" A patron exclaimed as a group of dogs ran by out of the kitchen. The dogs jumped Duncan and started mauling him.

"AAAAAAAARGH!!!! HELP ME!!! OW!!! SOMEONE CALL ANIMAL CONTROL!!! OW!!!! AND MY MOMMY!!! OWWWWWWW!!! HELP ME!!!! THAT'S _NOT_ A CHEW TOY!!!"

**Jim's Collectibles, Bayville**

Jim's Collectibles. A nice little shop that sold comic books, collectible cards of both the sports and non-sports variety, action figures, model cars, pennants, and just about any collectible you could find. Principal Kelly walked into the store.

"Hey Jim." He said to the gray-haired and bearded man behind the counter.

"Hello Principal. How's it going?" Jim replied with a wave

"Same old garbage at school. A lot of weird stuff is happening." Kelly sighed. "Earthquakes, blue monster sightings, kids dressed as 80s rockers…" Kelly sighed. "I just want to take my mind off it. Did you get that Boba Fett figure?" Jim smiled at that remark.

"Here you go, Rob." Jim pulled a boxed figure out from under the counter and handed it to Kelly. Kelly paid for it and left the store. He was about to cross the street when he heard a voice.

"Hey, that guy has a Boba Fett!"

"Huh AAAAAGH!!!" Kelly got ambushed by a group of Star Wars nerds and they started stomping him. "HELP ME!!!! OWWWW!!!! MAMA!!!! WAAAAAGH!!!!!" The nerds grabbed his figure and ran off.

Well, well, well! Looks like Althea is in trouble! What insanity will happen next? Where is Vincent taking Althea? Can the Brotherhood and X-Men find her and save her? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	34. Recovery!

**The Starr Chronicles**

_To soulstress: Hey there soulstress! It's been a while since I last heard from you, girl! I miss your reviews. Yeah, Kelly got his butt beaten by a bunch of sci-fi geeks. I must confess, I am one too slightly. I love Star Trek and as a kid, and I have seen the first three Star Wars films. Oh yeah, Vincent kidnapped Althea. Actually, he mermaid-napped Althea, heh heh **(Althea: HEY!!)**. Don't worry, Toad will save the day. I'm glad you liked the Zoolander quote. That movie is hilarious, considering the fact that I think that the whole fashion industry is stupid. I thought it'd be an interesting thing to see the Brotherhood try to be the heroes, but the X-Men come and try to do it their way because they think they're the best at it. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait to read the new chapter of 'Tempest'! Please put it up!_

_To Aaron: Hey there Aaron! Yeah, I don't quite think that Vincent has realized that he has essentially signed his death warrant. Well, the X-Men and Brotherhood have joined forces before, like in that episode with the Juggernaut. Remember him? Oh yeah, if the Brotherhood doesn't kill Vincent, you bet Althea is going to enjoy tearing him limb from freakin' limb. Revenge will really be sweet for the Brotherhood. Will the Cosmic Axe play a role? You'll see. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Chiomon: Hey there Chiomon! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Don't worry. It's always darkest before dawn. Don't worry, dude. Todd will save Althea. Hopefully, I'll be able to let her get a few licks in. Does Vince have a bigger ego than Pietro? I like to think that it may be a possibility. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To RogueFanKC: Hey there Rogue! I read your one-shot "Charity and Chaos go Hand in Hand", and I liked it. Too bad the misfits aren't real, huh? Oh well. Yeah, I think Vincent will definitely learn the hard way that it's never a good idea to enrage a Navy man. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Sparky Genocide: Hey there Sparky! I haven't heard from you in quite a while, man. A lady dressed like Jabba the Hutt chasing Kelly? Pyro setting fires to teddy bears in Pietro's closet? I'll see what I can do with those ideas, dude. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there, Red! I'm glad you liked the Kelly and Duncan torture last chapter! Took me a while to think it up! Anyway, enjoy the new chapter, and please put up more stuff!_

_To Raliena: Hey there, Rae! Glad you liked the last chapter! I'm stealing from '__Hong Kong__'? I don't understand. Anyway, enjoy the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "Who's driving this thing, Stevie Wonder?" - Bruce Willis as John MacClaine, Die Hard**

Chapter 34: Recovery!

**The Brotherhood Boarding House, Bayville**

"Oh, Marsha…"

"Oh, Randall…" A cheesy soap opera played out on the television. And watching it was one St. John Allerdyce, aka Pyro. Pyro sat on the couch, covered by a blanket. He had a tub of ice cream next to him, which had a spoon sticking out of it, and was half-eaten. Also next to him was a box of tissues. John looked like he had been crying. He sniffled a little bit, and had a spoonful of ice cream.

"Marsha, I have to tell you something."

"What? That you've been with my sister, my mother, and my cousin?!"

"No, that was Bill, Marsha. I have to tell you…My real name is Ran-Dall. I am an alien from the Andromeda sector across the galaxy from here. I have to return to my homeworld so the space fleet can prepare to invade Earth."

"WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" John burst out crying. "It's not fair! Randall has to go back home! Now Marsha and Randall will never be together, and it was obvious that they belong together! It's not bloody fair! Waaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!" John had blissfully let his mind wander into his own little soap opera world. Meanwhile, if one walked outside the Brotherhood House, one could see a slight plume of dark smoke flying out of Pietro's room window.

**Miami, ****Florida**

"Uhhhhnh…" Todd moaned as he opened his eyes.

"Hey kid…kid…wake up, kid…" A familiar face came into focus as Todd opened his eyes. It was the face of Hector "Shipwreck" Delgado, the Navy SEAL whom the Brotherhood had befriended in a way. Polly the parrot was on his shoulder.

"Awk! You okay, swabbie?" Polly asked.

"Uhn…oww…" Todd put a hand to his head and moaned as he got to his feet.

"My God, kid! What happened here?" Shipwreck whistled in amazement. "And who are the guys in the funny outfits?"

"Vincent James, yo…" Todd moaned.

"Vincent James?" Shipwreck wrinkled his nose. "That arrogant little limey brat? I don't like that kid." Shipwreck shook his head. "The kid's scum." Todd blinked at him. "It's not a mutant thing, kid. It's his personality." Todd nodded. He looked around, and he realized something.

"Oh God! Althea!" Todd exclaimed. "He got her!"

"What?!" Shipwreck exclaimed.

"I think Vince has Althea!" Todd exclaimed. "Oh God, we have got to find her!" He looked around in a panic. "Lila! Lila! Todd found Lila knocked out. He hopped over to her. "Lila! Wake up!"

"But Sammy, I wanna snuggle some more…" Lila moaned sleepily. Todd groaned.

"Lila, will you get the redneck out of your head and wake up?!" Todd exclaimed, shaking Lila.

"Grey, you call him that one more time, I'll sock you…" Lila mumbled.

"**_LILA!!!!_**" Todd snapped.

"What?! Okay! I'm up!" Lila snapped awake. "Oh, man…I was having an awesome dream…"

"Lila, that psycho Vincent took Althea! We have to find her!" Toad exclaimed in a panic.

"I don't know where he went, Toady. I can't just teleport you back to where she is now."

"Get me back to the hotel room." Todd said.

"Why?" Lila blinked.

"I packed a little surprise just in case." Todd smirked. "Roxor's Cosmic Axe."

"Uhn…what's goin' on?" Lance moaned as the X-Men and the Brotherhood got to their feet.

"Althea was kidnapped, yo! Vincent took her!" Todd exclaimed.

"With the power he has, this kid's pretty dangerous." Logan snarled.

"Althea compared him to a virus because he's as irritating as one." Todd grumbled.

"Just you wait until she learns the truth about you hoods!" Scott snapped.

"What do you mean?" Shipwreck blinked.

"They're known as the Brotherhood of Mutants." Scott grumbled. "They think humans should answer to them."

"Huh?" Shipwreck blinked.

"Trust me Shipwreck, you're alright." Lance grumbled. "They're called the X-Men. They think they're better than everyone else."

"Can this wait, yo!?" Todd snapped. "Now come on! We were able to stop the Juggernaut together, we can join forces to rescue Althea from that crazed boyfriend-wannabe Vincent inside a giant robot rip-off of Godzilla!"

"Juggernaut?" Lila looked at Lance. The geokinetic shook his head.

"Trust me Lila, you're better off not knowing." Lance sighed.

"Well, where do we start?" Storm asked.

"James Electronics." Wanda said. Everyone looked at her. "Vincent's dad owns that company. Why don't we ask around there?"

"Let's just call a truce until Althea can be found." Paul suggested. "Then we can split up and search for her." Scott sighed and walked slowly up to Lance, holding out his hand.

"Truce?" Lance looked at the hand, then at Paul, then back at the hand.

"Truce, Summers. For now."

"What's going on here?" A very confused Shipwreck asked Logan.

"That's the mother of long stories, bub."

**A Bayville Office Supply Store**

"Yes, I'm looking for a paper shredder for my coach." Duncan said to an employee as they walked down an aisle.

"Here's a nice one we use for demonstrations." The employee pointed to one. "It shreds a lot of paper, and it's low-maintenance. Plus, the price is real good." Duncan smiled. "Can I take a look?"

"Yeah, sure." The employee grinned. He and Duncan walked toward the shredder when the employee tripped over a shoelace and knocked Duncan into the shredder, and while the employee fell, he reached out to grab something and he ended up hitting the on button.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!! MY HAND!!!!!!" Duncan screamed. "HELP ME!!!! OWWWWCH!!!!!!"

**A local gym**

"28…29…30." Principal Kelly mumbled as he lifted some barbells. "There we go." He put them back and wiped his brow. "Hey, I look good." Kelly grinned as he flexed his arm. He walked out when some idiot forgot one of the rules of the gym: No eating in the weight room. The man threw the banana peel away nonchalantly, and it landed in Kelly's path. The principal slid on the peel and while screaming his head off, stumbled into a locker room. Unfortunately, it was the women's locker room. Seconds later, the sounds of screaming and pounding were heard. "AAAAAAGH!!!! HELP ME!!!!! I DIDN'T MEAN TO OWWWCH!!! HELP ME!!!! MOMMY!!! OW OW OW OW OW OW!!!!!!!!!!"

Well, well, well! Looks like a truce is going down! What madness will happen next? How long will the truce last? How will our heroes get split up? Where did Vince take Althea? Will Kelly and Duncan ever get a break? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	35. Interview with a Virus!

**The Starr Chronicles**

_To todd fan: Hey there todd fan! I read the new chapter of "Mutants in Tights" and I loved it! It was hilarious! I'm glad you liked the Kelly and Duncan torture in the last chapter! I try to include some Kelly torture and some __Duncan__ torture in every chapter so the readers can have something fun to read._

_To soulstress: Hey there soulstress! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Yes, Pyro set the house on fire. Well, the **whole** house hasn't gone up in smoke yet. Keep that in mind. Yeah, Toad packed the Cosmic Axe. You don't leave something like the Cosmic Axe lying around, especially when Pyro is in the house. I understand that sometimes a computer can be a real pain. There are times when I wanted to throw my laptop, where I do all my story-writing, out the window and/or get it intimately acquainted with a sledgehammer. Anyway, I hope your computer behaves and allows you to keep on reviewing. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for the new chapter of "Tempest"!_

_To Raliena: Hey there Rae! Yes, the truce has started, and I am also counting the seconds into it ends. Oh, I see what movie you mean. You were talking about **King** Kong. I get it now. I see. Well, Vince is right now a giant metal dinosaur, not an ape. Either way, he will go down. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there Red Witch! I read your new one-shots and your fic "Welcome to the Dark Side" and I loved them! Great stuff! Hopefully, I'll be able to give both Todd and Althea shots at Vincent. I'll see what I can do for that. Here's some more insanity for you! I hope you like it, and enjoy the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "Bud…Bud…Bud…" - Budweiser Frog #1**

Chapter 35: Interview with a Virus!

**The Brotherhood House, Bayville**

"Hello, Joe's Tavern?" St. John Allerdyce, the Australian pyromaniac known as Pyro snickered as he used the phone to make a crank call.

"Yeah, this is Joe. What do you want?" The voice said on the other end.

"I'm looking for a Miss Hugandkiss. First name: Amanda. Could you get her on the phone, please? I need to talk to her." John struggled to hold his laughter in.

"I'll see." Joe said. He was heard calling for her. "I'm looking for Amanda Hugandkiss! Hey! Is there an Amanda Hugandkiss here! Hello? I need Amanda Hugandkiss!"

"You sure do!" A smart-alec patron was heard exclaiming on the other end. Laughter erupted from the phone, joined by John's own laughter.

"Oh you think you're funny, huh kid?" Joe's snarl was heard from the phone. "You think you're a regular Steve Allen, huh? Well let me tell you something, boy! You better not let me find you, because if I do, I will break every bone in your body, rip you in half, and sell your parts on eBay!" John slammed the phone down on the receiver, laughing his head off.

"Man, that was great!" John whooped. Meanwhile, the plume of smoke from Pietro's room had grown in size.

**A warehouse in Miami**

"Uhn…huh…" Althea opened her eyes. She found herself in a dark room. "Where am I?" She felt herself sitting down on a chair. She tried to get up, but realized she was tied down. "What?! Where am I?! Let me go!" She struggled against her bonds.

"Forgive me darling for the rough treatment." A familiar English-accented voice said as Vince emerged from the shadows. "But I had to make sure you'd listen to me."

"Vincent, have you gone crazy?!" Althea exclaimed.

"Althea, please!" Vince begged. "I have to make sure you're safe from that filthy peon amphibian."

"What's Todd ever done to you?!" Althea exclaimed.

"He's trying to steal you from me!" Vince exclaimed back. "Althea, you mean the world to me. He's not right for you. He's stupid, he smells bad, he has terrible fashion sense, and he's basically just human scrap!"

"Todd is a nice guy who's never gotten a break, Vince." Althea said. "Everyone has shunned him, judging him based on his looks. He's got a good heart, Vince. And here's something else. You want to talk about human scrap, let's talk about _you!_ Your father sees you as a living get-rich-quick scheme, you're arrogant, you're a jerk, and you think you rule the world! I never liked you, Vince! The only person who's ever liked you is you."

"At least I am better-looking than him." Vince snorted.

"Looks don't matter, Vince. Todd's nice to me, and I do like him. He's not perfect, Vince…but who is?"

"_I_ am!" Vince snapped. "I'm better for you, Althea! I'm rich! I got looks! I'm a man people want to _be_ like! That…Toad is a man that people wish never existed! What does he have? A stench that makes milk curdle, miscreant friends that secretly do not want him around, and a face that frightens children!"

"Todd's not an arrogant lunatic like you!" Althea screamed. "Stop this, Vince. If you think that getting rid of Toad will prove your worth to me, you are **wrong!** All it'll get you is time in jail…" She gave Vince a hard look. "And I will hate you even more than I do now. You proved something to me right now. You are a spoiled brat who can't stand it if things go your way." Vince could barely contain his rage. "You're nothing but a little virus, Vince. You're an annoying little bug that has no clue when to go away." Vince snarled.

"I'll show _you_, Althea!" Vince exclaimed. "I'll show you which of us is more worthy of you!" Vince stomped off.

"Yeah, use a big metal dinosaur to fight Todd. Shows how tough you are." Althea mumbled. While she and Vince were talking, Althea was using a pocketknife she kept in her pocket to try and cut the rope binding her.

**Bayville High locker room**

"Alright, boys!" Duncan Matthews was in his football uniform. He was pacing up and down in front of his fellow players, who were sitting on a bench, also in uniform. Duncan looked like a general. "We are going to take Middletown downtown! What're we gonna do?!"

"Dominate!" The players roared.

"What else are we gonna do?!"

"WIN!!"

"And **THEN?!**" Duncan asked loudly.

"_Rock the cheerleaders' worlds!_" The players whooped.

"_Let's **do it!!**_" Duncan yelled out. He and the players rushed out to the door. When Duncan opened the door… "AAAAAAGH!!!! NOT AGAIN!!! STUPID DOGS!!!" A pack of wild dogs leapt and Duncan and started mauling him.

**Bayville ****Park**

"Ahhh…A nice day to read in the park." Principal Kelly smiled as he sat down in the park, his back on a tree. He happily opened up his novel and started reading. Kelly didn't realize he was under a branch, and that branch had a beehive hanging from it.

"Hey look out!" Someone exclaimed. A Frisbee hit the beehive, causing it to fall from the branch and land on Kelly's lap.

"AAAAAAAAGH!!!!!" Kelly screamed as he got attacked by a swarm of enraged bees. "HELP ME!!! MAMA!!!! OWWWW!!!!! BEES HURT!!! HELP ME!!!!"

Well, well, well! Looks like Vince and Althea had a nice talk! What insanity will happen next? What are our heroes doing? Will Althea escape? Will our heroes save the day? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	36. Sneak Attack!

**The Starr Chronicles**

_To soulstress: Hey there soulstress! Yeah, Althea told off Vincent, alright. But for some reason, I can imagine that Vince didn't quite completely get the whole message. I'm glad you're working on the next chapter of "Tempest". I can hardly wait to read it! I'm also glad that you liked the way __Duncan__ got his butt whipped. Yeah, football players. They have one-track minds. Anyway, enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait to read the new chapter of 'Tempest'!_

_To Aaron: Hey there Aaron! Yes, Vince is obsessed with winning Althea, and her snapping at him may have made him more determined to win her over. You'll love the fight, and I'm glad you liked the scene with John's crank calling. I'm a Simpsons fan, and I needed something for John to do, so why not crank call? Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To todd fan: Hey there todd fan! I read your new stuff and I loved it! I'm glad you liked the little Simpsons tribute with John. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait to read more from you!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there Red Witch! I read your new stuff and I loved it! I'm glad you liked the last chapter, especially Al and Vince's talk and the Duncan and Kelly torture. Pyro's scene was really meant to be a Simpsons tribute, but they did take the bit from Steve Allen, so …I guess there's not any truly original stuff out there anymore, huh? Anyway, enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait to read more from you!_

_To Metal Dragon1: Hey there Metal Dragon! Yep, it's going to be Todd, wielding Roxor's mighty Cosmic Axe, versus Vincent James, who will be in the form of a giant robotic dinosaur that looks like Mecha-Godzilla gone punk rock. Let the brawl begin! I'm glad you liked the little scene with Pyro doing some crank calls. I also would not be surprised if the cheerleaders sent those dogs after __Duncan__, either. Will the Brotherhood have a house to come back home to? Find out! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for the new chapter of 'Take the Long Way Home'!_

_To Raliena: Hey there Rae! Even though Althea doesn't live with the Joes in this universe, she still is quite a wily young woman. I am not surprised. I think of Althea as the type who wouldn't let herself be held back easily. She's very strong-willed. Anyway, enjoy the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "Hasta la vista, baby." - ****Arnold**** Schwarzenegger as the T-800, Terminator 2 (One. Awesome. Movie. Get it on DVD! It rocks!)**

Chapter 36: Sneak Attack!

**The Brotherhood House**

"La la la la la la la…" Pyro happily sang in the kitchen. "Let's see what's cookin' in the oven…" He said in a sing-song voice. He pulled down the oven lid and pulled out what appeared to be one very big roasted duck. One could hear the small TV in the kitchen (Pyro brought it himself), blaring out "Iron Chef America". "Ah yes, me roast duck a la flambé is almost ready!" The crazed pyromaniac grinned to meself. He checked his watch. "Great. Just in time. Now to add…" He struck a dynamic pose. "THE SECRET INGEDIENT! Once I add this, the roast duck a la Allerdyce will be completed. Those X-Men will _love_ this culinary masterpiece." What people didn't realize that even thought John was crazy and he like burning stuff, he was actually a pretty nice guy, and he liked hanging with friends as much as he loved writing novels and burning things and playing drums. John picked up the secret ingredient. "Let's add it!" He poured pineapple-flavored lighter fluid (He made it. Don't ask) all over the turkey, and lit a match. The turkey was on fire. "Oh yeah! WHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!"

**The Brotherhood's hotel suite, Miami, Florida**

A flash of light erupted suddenly in the middle of the suite's living room. When the light went away, one could see Todd Tolensky and Lila Cheney. Todd was known as the Toad for his frog-like mutation. Lila was a mutant with the power to teleport across space. She didn't have a codename because it was difficult thinking up a codename for an interstellar teleporter. Todd rushed toward his suitcase, threw it open, and started tossing out clothes and things left and right.

"Uhm, pardon me for asking a stupid question Toady, but _why_ exactly did you bring the Cosmic Axe with you?" Lila blinked. "I doubt that anyone except the X-Nerds even _knows_ of the powers the Cosmic Axe allows."

"Tell that to Bayville's Aldermen." Todd replied, remembering Roxor's attack. "Besides, it's too dangerous leaving the Axe lying around the Brotherhood House. Especially if Quickie finds it." Lila's face paled.

"Dear _God_, you're right." Lila gulped. "Quickie with the Axe is a bad thing. Very Bad."

**Miami****Florida**

"Okay okay, so let me get this straight." Shipwreck groaned. He pointed at the X-Men. "You guys are the X-Men, dedicated to bringing about peace between mutants and humans. And they include this angel here." Shipwreck grinned at Storm. Storm rolled her eyes.

"Got it in one, Sinbad." Logan smirked. Shipwreck pointed at the Brotherhood. "And you guys are the Brotherhood. You want to start war between the mutants and the humans."

"Actually, we're not really interested in that anymore." Lance quipped with a grin. "Now we're more interested in driving the X-Geeks crazy."

"Yeah, Shipwreck." Fred nodded. "Here's the thing. You're human."

"Last time I checked." Shipwreck crossed his arms.

"You kids are all mutants." Fred blinked. "How come you don't act all hateful towards them?"

"When Althea got her powers, she didn't wake up one day and say 'I have powers. I know, I'll go destroy the world and everything in it because I can'. I've watched them grow up, and I helped make those kids into what they are today. When Althea got her powers, she didn't suddenly turn into a homicidal maniac. She was still Althea. Besides, she could breathe in water and air since the day she was born. The water powers only came later on. My kids are good kids. They all have X-Genes. I fear for my son. Unlike Al and the Triplets, he can't pass for human. His life is going to be so difficult. But I'm not going to make it more difficult for him by not being there when he needs me to back him up. He's already going to have to face a lot of monsters and demons in his life. I'm not going to be one of those demons." Shipwreck said simply. "He had lost one parent through no fault of his own. I'm not going to leave him behind." The Brotherhood definitely were amazed. So were the X-Men.

"Wow…" Sam breathed out.

"Touching, mate. Very touching." A certain English-accented voice complimented sardonically. The X-Men and Brotherhood turned around and saw Vincent walk up to them, clapping his hands. "I think I shared a bloody tear."

"What do you want, James!" Shipwreck snarled.

"Besides your hot daughter, not a lot." Vincent smirked. "And you all are going to help me get her."

"WHERE IS SHE!" Shipwreck roared.

"We'll _never_ help you with anything, you-" Scott was interrupted by Vincent whipping out a device that looked like a remote from his jacket and blasting the X-Men, Shipwreck, and the Brotherhood with a pink beam from the remote-like device.

**A warehouse in Miami**

"Hmph! I think Vince is losing it in more than one aspect." Althea grumbled as she freed herself of her bonds. "Oh God! He's going to go after Todd and the guys! I've got to find them!" She quickly threw the rope off her and raced out of the warehouse.

**Bayville ****Museum**

Duncan Matthews was in the museum, looking up at a skeleton of Tyrannosaurus Rex.

"I don't get it. What was so great about these things?" Duncan blinked. A Rottweiler snuck up behind the hapless jock and bit him in the butt. "YEOW!" Duncan leapt up and forward into the air. He crashed into the skeleton, causing it to collapse around him. "AAAAAAAAAAGH!"

**Bayville Zoo**

"Are you sure this is safe?" Principal Kelly queried nervously as he held his hand out to a duck. The hand was full of feed.

"Relax, Mr. Kelly." A zookeeper chuckled. "Ducks are very gentle creatures. They are harmless."

"Oh, okay." Kelly smiled. The duck moved to bite some feed, but missed and bit Kelly's finger. "OW!" Kelly jerked his hand up, hitting his face with feed, and some got in his mouth. "Eugh!" A gaggle of ducks jumped on Kelly's head and started pecking at Kelly's face. "AAAAAAAAAGH!"

Well, well, well! Looks like our heroes are in big trouble! What insanity will happen next? What did Vince do to the X-Men, Brotherhood, and Shipwreck? Will the Cosmic Axe play a role? What's going on with Althea? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	37. Domination!

**The Starr Chronicles**

_To Prophet-Song: Hey there, Prophet-Song! Yeah, Todd's got out the Cosmic Axe! Actually, I think Pietro holding the Axe would be a very scary thing. Even worse if it was Pyro. He would use it to create a real-life Dante's Inferno! Anyway, enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Raliena: Hey there Rae! Well, I think in Todd's case, I think it would be a good thing for him to take the Axe. Just remember who is in the Brotherhood House right now. Would you want **him** to have an axe that grants great power? I didn't think so. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Sparky Genocide: Hey there Sparky! Kelly getting into a fight with an old woman and Pyro playing in the bathtub? Hey, I like those ideas! Thanks a lot! I'll see what I can do with those! Anyway, enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Chiomon: Hey there Chiomon! What did Vince do? You'll see in this chapter! Yeah, cliffhangers are bad, but they do work. They keep readers coming back for more! Don't worry. Toad will save the day! I think Toad deserves more respect. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To todd fan: Hey there todd fan! I read the new chapter of "Slugs and Snails", and I absolutely loved it! Put in lots of __Duncan__ torture! Yeah, ducks are funny creatures. My grandma has a gaggle of ducks in her backyard. You had a duck-handling practical? It must've been a load of laughs. Anyway, enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there Red Witch! I read the new chapter of "Welcome to the Dark Side", and I loved it! Shaw wants Evan to become the new White King, huh? It looks like Evan is in big trouble! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! I'm also glad you liked the scene with the ducks. I thought that would be good for some laughs. As for the speech, well, Shipwreck loves his kids, no matter what. Here's the new chapter! Enjoy!_

_To Aaron: Hey there Aaron! Glad you liked the conversation between the X-Men, Brotherhood, and Shipwreck. I think it opened some eyes, too. Well, I **had** to pay some form of tribute to the Misfitverse in the form of Storm being a bit of an object of affection in Shipwreck's eyes. It's all going to come to a head here, man! Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Firefly25: Hey there Firefly. Yeah, for some reason, I could imagine John being a decent cook. As for what Vince is up to, you're right. It just may be potentially nauseating. Anyway, enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for the new chapter of "Reindeer Flotilla"!_

_To RogueFanKC: Hey there Rogue Fan! I've read your story "X Kat: The Mutant Squadron" and I loved it! I used to love the old Swat Kats show back when it was on Cartoon Network. Yeah, Shipwreck adores his kids. Oh yeah: Toad plus Cosmic Axe equals dead Vince. Enjoy the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "FIRE!" - Richard Pryor**

Chapter 37: Domination!

**The Brotherhood House, Bayville**

"_La la la la HEY!__ La la la la HEY!"_ St. John Allerdyce, the crazed Australian pyrokinetic, was singing as he was happily splashing in the bathtub. A rubber duck was in the tub with him. "Ahh, this the life, eh Mr. Squeaky?" He gave the duck a light squeeze.

"Squeak! Squeak!"

"Yeah, I thought so, mate. Me too. What's that?"

"Squeak! Squeak!"

"I agree. Jerry Falwell has mommy issues. I mean, what kind of man makes that kind of claim about a bloody Teletubby?" Pyro chuckled.

"Squeak! Squeak!"

"Yeah. Did you see that Richard Pryor special on the Classic Comedy channel?"

"Squeak!"

"Yeah! He was bloody awesome! Did you hear the story about when he shot his car with a Magnum? I laughed so hard. Ah, he was the man, mate."

"Squeak!"

"Yeah. You're me best friend, Mr. Squeaky."

"Squeak!"

**Miami, ****Florida**

"Mmmm-hmmmm, hmmm hmmmm…" Vincent James hummed happily as he sat on what appeared to be a very large cube made of translucent pink energy. Inside the cube were the X-Men, Brotherhood, and Shipwreck, yelling and chattering amongst themselves. The cube was around the height of a double-decker bus.

"It sure is cramped in here." Sam grumbled.

"No kidding." Logan agreed.

"Vincent James, you have gone too far this time!" Shipwreck snapped.

"Oh shut up, old man!" Vincent snapped back. "You don't talk to me like that! I'm rich, and therefore better than you!"

"Where's Althea!" Shipwreck roared. Vincent shook his head with a smile.

"She's with me, where she belongs."

"You're pretty tough, Vince." Logan smirked. "You need a big robot version of Godzilla to fight Todd Tolensky." Vince scowled.

"I fear _no one_, old man." Vince growled. "Especially not some filthy animal like you! You belong in a bloody zoo!"

"You alright?" Shipwreck asked Storm. She looked a little worried, and was rubbing her arms.

"Sort of. I'm not…comfortable in closed spaces." Ororo replied.

"Don't worry, Miss Munroe." Paul reassured. "Todd and Lila are still free."

"We're doomed." Lance moaned. "We're gonna need a miracle."

"**_VINCENT!_**" A familiar voice roared. The group looked up, and saw Todd float down to the top of the cube in a field of golden light, holding the Cosmic Axe. Lila appeared in a flash of light on top of the pink cube.

"Give it up, Vince! It's over." Lila scowled.

"Oh God…" Scott moaned. "He brought that stupid axe?"

"Why's he glowing?" Shipwreck wondered.

"He's got the Cosmic Axe. It's a long story." Craig answered.

"One of many in our lives." Pietro quipped. Vince made a move to point his remote at Lila, but Todd was faster. He fired an energy blast from his Axe. The golden energy blast hit Vince's hand. The English mutant screamed, and he dropped the remote.

"Next blast hits your _head_, Vince! Where's Althea!" Todd snarled angrily. Vincent laughed.

"Don't ask me, peon. Ask him…" Vince pointed behind him. Todd and Lila turned and saw the giant robot dinosaur behind them. "Roast 'em!" Vince quickly grabbed his remote and jumped off the cube as the dinosaur reared back its head and roared. When it whipped back, the dino's mouth exploded in flame, sending a stream of fire toward the cube. Todd extended his forcefield around the cube and Lila, safely protecting them from the flames.

"It's going to take more than flames to stop me, Vincent!" Todd roared angrily. Vincent snarled as he leapt into the dinosaur, dropping the remote in the process.

"I want _you_ away from _my GIRL!_" Vincent roared.

"_SHE DOESN'T LIKE YOU!_" Todd flew up and sliced off one of the dinosaur's arms with the Cosmic Axe. Vince screamed in pain.

"NEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAARGH!"

"Get 'im, Todd!" Lila whooped. She eyed the remote. "Don't worry Sammy, the lovely Lila Cheney is coming to the rescue." Lila snickered as she eased down from the cube and ran to the remote. "Now how do you operate this thing?" Meanwhile, Todd was dominating Vincent. With one punch, Todd tore off the lower jaw of the dinosaur.

"You filthy _CREATURE!_" Vincent roared.

"TODD!" A familiar voice screamed. Vince and Todd turned and they saw Althea chugging up to the scene, in a forklift. She peeked out. "TODD!"

"ALTHEA!" Both Todd and Vince exclaimed in amazement. Vince took the opportunity, and swatted Todd hard with his one arm, sending Todd flying into a wall.

"Oh my God!" Althea exclaimed.

"Althea…" Vincent walked over to her. "You see! He's not right for you! He's jus an AAAAAAAAGH!" Out of nowhere, Todd became a golden human cannonball, smashing his way through Vince's body like a battering ram through the heavy doors of a castle. Vincent tumbled to the ground, and he fell out of the dinosaur.

"Let's make sure this dinosaur _stays_ extinct!" Todd, calling upon the cosmic powers granted by the Cosmic Axe, lifted the dinosaur over his head, and threw the badly-damaged machine into the air. Todd then blasted the dino with his Axe. The metal dinosaur exploded in mid-air.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Vincent screeched in a high-pitched voice that made Todd's screams sound manly.

"Aw screw it!" Lila grumbled after she gave up trying to figure out how to operate Vince's remote. She simply threw it against a wall. The remote broke into many pieces and the energy cube disappeared.

**Bayville Mall**

Principal Kelly was looking around a jewelry store when he eyed a Rolex watch. He stared at the watch with a longing sigh.

"Yeah. As if I could _ever_ afford a Rolex with my salary." Kelly sighed and walked away. He noticed a fountain in the mall, and decided to take a seat on the bench in front of the fountain. Kelly didn't see the ducks swimming around in the fountain. Suddenly, the ducks leapt out of the fountain and attacked him. "HEY! AAAAAGH! OWWWWW! OOH! THAT HURTS! HEY! HELP ME!"

**A street in Bayville**

Duncan Matthews walked down the street, whistling a tune, and minding his own business. He walked by a septic truck.

"Look out!" Someone exclaimed.

"Huh?" Duncan wondered as he looked around. He then heard a car crash into the septic truck, and the tank exploded, sending raw sewage everywhere, especially all over Duncan.

"Oh my God! AAAAAAAAGH! EWWWW! THIS IS **SICK!**"

Well, well, well! Looks like the day is saved! What insanity will happen next? Will the X-Men acknowledge Todd's good deed? What of the Cosmic Axe? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	38. Aftermath!

**The Starr Chronicles**

_To Chiomon: Hey there Chiomon! Yep! Todd did it! He beat up Vincent and got the girl! Hooray! Well, to be fair to Lance, Kitty fared no better against Vincent than Lance did. And she goes through machines, she shorts them out! Will Althea come back home with them? Find out next! Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Sparky Genocide: Hey there Sparky! That scene with John and Mr. Squeaky disturbed you? Evidently, you forgot that Pyro is nuts. Besides, everybody had a rubber ducky friend at some point. Just St. John Allerdyce never outgrew his. I kind of intended the scene to be insane, but cute. Pietro accidentally flirting at a club full of man-hating women? I'll see if I can fit that at some point. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there Red Witch! Hooray for Todd! He saved the day! I'm glad you liked seeing __Duncan__ drink raw sewage and Kelly getting attacked by ducks! I'll try to put in more insane __Duncan__ and Kelly torture for you! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait to hear more from you!_

_To Raliena: Hey there Rae! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, but luckily Todd's no fool when it comes to the Cosmic Axe. He may be a screwball, but he's not an idiot. He knows it's best to keep that thing as close to him. As for Vince's little comment about being better than the X-Men and Misfits because he's rich, you have to remember, Vince is incredibly arrogant. He probably just said it to feed his big ego. He thought he could dominate Toad, until Todd taught his favorite class: Cosmic Axe 101. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To todd fan: Hey there todd fan! I read the new chapter of "Little Shop of Mutants" and "X-Men: Evolution, the Musical", and I loved them! Great work, you guys! Yes, St. John "Pyro" Allerdyce has a rubber ducky named Mr. Squeaky. I intended that scene to be insane, yet cute. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Aaron: Hey there Aaron! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, I suppose one could compare Todd to Kull when Todd smashed Vince with the Cosmic Axe. Oh yes, this is Todd's finest hour, indeed. And I can imagine the X-Men wanting to get the Cosmic Axe, or someone trying to get Todd to use it against the X-Men. I don't think Todd will want to use the Axe often. That kind of power can lead to really bad temptation. I think the Brotherhood will be very surprised to see Pyro in their house, especially Pietro, heh heh. Enjoy the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "And what's lesson two: The Neutron Bomb!" - Bruce Willis as John MacClaine, Die Hard 2**

Chapter 38: Aftermath!

**The Brotherhood Boarding House, Bayville**

Pyro hummed happily as he walked outside, carrying a desk chair and an umbrella. He set them up, and ran back into the house. He returned, carrying a table and a battery-powered radio. He set those up next to the chair, and ran back inside the house. He ran back out, carrying a cool glass of soda with a little umbrella in it and a straw. He put the soda on the table, laid back on the chair under the umbrella, and put on a pair of sunglasses. He turned on the radio, and it started playing AC/DC.

"Ahhhhh, it's good to be the Pyro." John smiled as he put his hands behind his head. He was completely oblivious to the fact there was a plume of smoke coming from Pietro's room window.

**Miami, ****Florida**

Shortly after Vince's defeat, Todd was seen sitting on an overturned car, staring at the Cosmic Axe.

"Hey Todd." Pietro walked up to the amphibious mutant. Todd looked up.

"What's up, Pietro?" Todd asked.

"Well, I was thinking…" Pietro replied. "…You really kick butt with that Axe of yours. You beat Roxor, now Vincent, who is on his way to a hospital."

"So?" Todd shrugged.

"I was wondering. Will we that Axe in action again? Against the X-Geeks, perhaps?" Pietro smirked. Todd looked at Pietro with a hard face.

"No." He said flatly. Pietro's jaw dropped.

"No? _No!_ Todd, that Axe turns you into Superman and you don't want to use it against the X-Geeks! This could be the trump card, Toad! It could make us into the greatest mutants of all." Pietro exclaimed.

"Pietro, you've never felt the power this Axe gives the holder, yo. I have. Twice." Todd held up two fingers. "You can't mess around with this kind of power, yo. Remember Roxor, yo? He used the power of this Axe to destroy _planets!_ This is one of things you use extremely carefully. I don't want to use this thing at all."

"You were willing to use it on Vince." Pietro crossed his arms. Todd's eyes narrowed.

"I only used the Axe because we had no other choice. Besides, we pounded the X-Men when Wanda joined up! The Axe would be overkill." Todd leapt down. "I'm going to go back to the hotel." Todd hopped away. Pietro scowled at the Toad.

"Wuss." Pietro grumbled. Scott noticed this.

"Storm, do you think it's a good idea to let the Brotherhood keep the Cosmic Axe?" Scott asked Ororo. "After all, that thing packs quite a punch." Ororo looked at Todd and let out a small smile at the boy.

"I think it is in good hands with Todd Tolensky." Ororo smiled. Todd hopped up to Althea.

"Hey Al. You alright?" Todd asked Al concernedly. Al sighed.

"Yeah." She turned to Todd. "Todd…why?"

"Why what?"

"Dad told me about the Brotherhood." Althea said. "Why do you want to destroy humans? My father is human."

"Well, it's complicated, yo." Todd sighed. "Ordinary humans may not accept us mutants."

"My father did, and he's human." Althea said.

"I…" Todd started.

"How _dare_ you, Todd!" Althea snapped. "How _dare_ you make such assumptions about people. I will admit, some may not understand if they find out what I truly am, but those I love accepted it and still love me! That's all that matters! Is that why you're here, Todd? To make me join this little 'Brotherhood' of yours!"

"No, Al. Let me…"

"Todd…you're no better than Vincent." Althea scowled. Todd grabbed her wrist. He grabbed it just hard enough to hold her back, not to hurt her. "Let go of me, Todd. I will hurt you if you don't."

"I'm used to being hurt, Al." Todd sighed. "Let me explain. Me and my friends came here on a vacation. We live in a dilapidated house in New York. We never intended to recruit you, Althea. Your father didn't mind how I looked, yo. And neither did you. Do you know how many people looked at me in my life and didn't think of me as slimy?"

"How many?" Althea crossed her arms.

"Lila, Paul over there…" Todd pointed to Paul, who was being fussed over by Jean and Rogue. "…your father…" He looked up at Al and stared into her eyes. "And you. Althea, I'm not heartless. Me and the others don't really do anything except get into brawls with the X-Twerps over there. I'm not much, Al. I hate my mutation. We were left to live on our own by our boss, and he doesn't care about us. You see Pietro and Wanda over there?" Al nodded. "They're our boss's kids. He left Wanda in an asylum for years. And Pietro's inherited his jerkiness. So you should practice what you preach, Al. I fought that idiot Vincent for you. I didn't fight Vince because I wanted to recruit you. I fought him because you did not deserve to have a lunatic like him chase after you like that." Althea looked away shamefully.

"Todd, why are you telling me this?"

"Because you're one of the few people who didn't look at me like I was the Creature from the Black Lagoon." Todd said sadly. "I don't have a lot going for me, yo. I'm ugly, green, and pathetic. I even get teased by my own friends."

"Todd…I…I didn't…"

"I understand if you hate me. I just want you to know: I never lied to you, Al. I came here to get away from it all, to have a vacation. I met you by chance." Althea sighed.

"I was…being a hypocrite, Todd. Besides, if you hated my father for being human, you wouldn't have been so friendly with him." Althea sighed. "I'm…sorry, Todd. But I don't want to join the Brotherhood."

"That's cool." Todd grinned. "At least the vacation wasn't boring." He looked at the X-Men. "You going to…"

"Nah. Something about that visored guy and the redhead put me off." Althea shook her head. "Besides, I'm happy here in Miami. I don't think I'd like New York much. Too cold."

"Tell me about it." Todd grumbled, making Althea laugh.

"You know Todd, you're not as ugly and pathetic as you think. You had to be brave to face Vince in that machine." Althea grinned. "And the green makes you look kind of cute." She gave Todd a kiss on the cheek. "We cool?"

"As ice, yo." Todd smiled. Lila noticed and smiled.

"My little Toady's growing up." She noticed Sam rubbing his arm. He had gotten a huge scrape on his arm during the battle with Vincent. "Come here and let me kiss it better, beautiful!"

"Uh no thanks Lila, I'm doing just fine thanks I don't need it but I do appreciate your offer YEOW!" Sam broke into a run, Lila in hot pursuit.

"COME BACK HERE!" Lila squealed as she chased after Sam. Althea watched this, then shot Todd with an inquisitive look. The Toad chuckled.

"As with a lot of things in our lives, yo: It's a long story." Todd chuckled.

**Bayville Mall**

Duncan Matthews walked into the pet store in the mall.

"Can I help you, sir?" An employee asked.

"Yeah, I'm looking to buy some feeder rats for my snake." Duncan replied. He felt something touch his leg. "Huh?" He looked down. "What the?"

"SKUNK!" The employee exclaimed. Before Duncan could run, the skunk sprayed him.

"AAAAAAGHHHH!" Duncan screamed, covering his face and stumbling around. "IT STINKS! IT'S IN MY EYES! IT BURNS! IT BURNS!" A screaming Duncan stumbled over a railing.

**Principal Kelly's House**

Principal Kelly walked upstairs to his attic. He was ready to clean it, wearing an apron and rubber gloves, and toting various cleaning supplies. He let out a breath.

"Let's get this over with." He said to himself. He opened the door, and a pack of dogs leapt on him. They stared to maul him. "AAAARGH! STUPID DOGS! OW! THAT HURT! HELP ME! OWWWWW! OWOWOWOWOWOWOWWWWW WAAAAAAAGH!" The dogs let go of Kelly as he started tumbling down the stairs. He fell down, and rolled into the living room, slamming headfirst into a shelf. "OOF!"

Well, well, well! Looks like the Brotherhood's vacation has ended! What insanity will happen next? How will the Brotherhood react to Pyro? What'll happen to their house? What further adventures will our heroes get into? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	39. Coming Home!

**The Starr Chronicles**

_To RogueFanKC: Hey there RogueFan! I read the new chapter of "X Kat: The Mutant Squadron" and I loved it! I used to love the SWAT Kats show when I was a kid. The story brought back memories. How will the Brotherhood react to Pyro? Well, let's just say that one will be joyous, and one will be **ticked!** I don't plan to have Althea in the Brotherhood, but she'll appear again. Don't worry about it. Yep, Todd made a new friend. She'll appear again in my fic. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Sparky Genocide: Hey there Sparky! It's nice to hear from you again! I thought the whole thing with Al and Todd would make a nice twist. Yep, Pyro is crazy. You are going to **love** the look Pietro will have on his face. Trust me, you'll like it. Enjoy the new chapter! _

_To soulstress: Hey there soulstress! I haven't heard from you in forever! It's nice to hear from you again! Yeah, my life's been busy too, so I understand about the lack of reviewing. Yeah, I think John has a talent for ignoring open bonfires. His mutant powers help a great deal. I'm glad you liked the last three chapters, as well as all the __Duncan__ and Kelly torture so far! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for the new chapter of "Tempest"!_

_To Raliena: Hey there Rae! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! I'm sorry Rae, but the address didn't show up in the review, so I couldn't take a look at it. Enjoy the new chapter! _

_To Red Witch: Hey there Red Witch! I read the new chapter of "Double Identity" and I loved it! Man, looks like Carol's taken over, and she's in the mood to give out pain, and lots of it. I'm glad you liked the Todd/Althea-ness. She'll appear again in the story. So will Vincent, unfortunately. He'll be back, too. I'm glad you liked seeing Pyro and the Duncan and Kelly torture! Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To todd fan: Hey there todd fan! Yeah, Toad's a big old sweetheart. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait to read the new chapters of "Slugs and Snails", "X-Men: Evolution, the Musical" and "Little Shop of Mutants"!_

_To Aaron: Hey there Aaron! I'm glad you liked the last chapter. Yeah, I wanted to show Todd's more intelligent side. Don't worry about Althea, Aaron. She'll be back! She'll appear again! I just may have Althea visit. I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Enjoy this new one!_

**Disclaimer: "Can't sleep…Clown will eat me…Can't sleep…Clown will eat me…" Bart Simpson, The Simpsons**

Chapter 39: Welcome Home!

**The Brotherhood Boarding House, Bayville**

"_You shook me all night long…_" St. John Allerdyce sang out happily as he put some burgers on the grill. "Ahh yes…me burgers are going to make the other guys so happy when they arrive. I hope they come home from wherever they are today. It'd really suck if I had to eat all these burgers by myself." Meanwhile, in the street corner before the Brotherhood House, the Brotherhood and their luggage materialized in a flash of light.

"Whoo…" Lila held her head and rocked a little. "I never teleported this much stuff all at once before."

"Well that was some vacation." Blob chuckled, lifting up his luggage.

"We got attacked by a modern-day Mecha-Godzilla! Oh yeah, it was fantastic!" Pietro grumbled.

"Nobody wanted you to come anyway, Maximoff." Craig grumbled.

"I'll go check to see if we got any mail." Paul ran ahead.

"Boy, that boy is oblivious. When was the last time _we_ ever got mail?" Lance chuckled.

"I don't know. The X-Girls send Paul a lot of love letters." Lila chuckled. She noticed Lance roll his eyes. "Oh relax! Kitty sends you lots of letters, too." Something clicked in Lance's mind.

"Oh _shoot!_ I gotta answer them!" Lance exclaimed, racing across the corner.

"That boy is whipped." Blob sighed as the rest of the Brotherhood followed. Lance ran in front of the yard, and he saw something shocking: He saw Paul and John hugging like they were old friends who met after several years.

"Man Allerdyce, I can't _believe_ it! You're here, too! What're you doing here!" Paul laughed happily. Lance's jaw dropped.

"Well…that's a story." John chuckled. "God mate, I haven't seen you in years." John laughed. "How is everyone? How's Jennifer?"

"I haven't heard from Jenny in a long time. Not since she went to witness protection." Paul sighed. "I miss her."

"Yeah, she was a great Sheila." John agreed. "Bit of a wild streak in her, even though she grew up strict."

"Her dad was one of LA's best sheriffs. What'd you expect?" Paul chuckled.

"Uh…" Lance grumbled. "Do you two know each other?"

"Yeah!" Paul nodded. "John here and I grew up together in LA. His family came to the US from Australia when he was seven. All the other kids were a little afraid of him because he seemed to like fire a little too much." The other members walked up. John looked at Craig. "Oh yeah, John…that's Craig, my twin brother."

"You have a brother?" John blinked at Paul. "You never told me you had a brother!"

"Neither of us _knew_ we were brothers until our powers emerged." Paul replied.

"Telepathic link." Craig grumbled. "Stupid thing drove me crazy when it first appeared. It allows me and Paul to communicate telepathically and keep track of each other. When it first emerged, I saw some of Paul's memories and I kept feeling a weird urge to find him, and it grew freakin' stronger every day. One day, I found myself wandering the streets of LA and there he was."

"Yup. Happened to me too." Paul grinned. He blinked. "Uhm, John…there's flames coming out a window." Paul pointed up at Pietro's window. Flames erupted from the window. John grinned.

"Oh, I _knew_ I forgot about something!" John whooped. The Brotherhood suddenly noticed it. Pietro's jaw dropped.

"_MY **ROOM!**_" Pietro screamed. He dropped his bags and zipped inside. "**_OH MY GOD!_**"

**A few minutes later**

"We got the fire out." Lila said as she and Wanda went down the stairs carrying fire extinguishers. "Good thing the Institute has a whole mess of fire extinguishers."

"Just Pietro's room got fried." Wanda said. "The rest of the house is fine. Really weird." Upstairs, Pietro sat on his knees in front of his fried room.

"My room…" Pietro whimpered. "My room…My room…My room…"

"I'll go check on Pietro." Paul said, walking upstairs. Craig and Lila looked at each other.

"Lance, Craig and I are going to go get some food." Lila said. "We'll be back a little later." The two went outside. Wanda scowled at John.

"Did my father send you?" Wanda snarled at the pyrokinetic, several objects near her rising into the air.

"Um uh um uh um uh um…"

"Easy, Wanda." Todd tried to calm the hexcaster down.

"I-I-I-I…" John stammered, face pale. He may have been insane, but St. John Allerdyce was not as big an idiot as his first impression indicated. "Magneto sent me here because he thought I was annoying!" John exclaimed quickly to Wanda. "Not anything to do with you." The objects around Wanda floated downward slightly, but they still hovered slightly. John gulped. "Honest, Sheila."

"No surprise." Lance crossed his arms. "I heard you were an annoying twit."

"I guess we gotta deal with living with Pyro." Blob sighed.

"I'm a great housemate, mates! You'll see!" John grinned. "Ooh, curtains!" John giggled madly as he ran to the curtains and set them ablaze. The others groaned.

"What I want to know how do you and Paul know each other?" Todd blinked.

**Bayville Arcade**

"_Neeeeeeeearrrrrrr__…Neurrrrrrrrlllll…_D-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d pow! Pow! Pow!" Duncan made airplane noises as he played a pilot simulation game. "Yeah! High score!" The screen's targeting scope pointed to a red biplane. "Alright! I nail this sucker, and I get the bonus, baby!" Duncan whooped. He pressed the button that fired the missiles, and…

**_BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!_**

"**_YEEEEEOOOOOOOOWWWWW!_**" Duncan screamed as he got electrocuted.

**The local electronics store**

Principal Kelly looked at the PCs on sale in an aisle. He eyed a black one.

"Oh, this one sounds nice." He turned on the PC. "Hey, this thing runs real good. I like this." Kelly grinned. He clicked an icon to test out the computer, when suddenly…

**_KABOOM!_** The computer exploded in Kelly's face.

"AAAAAGH! MY FACE! IT BURRRRRRNS!" Kelly screamed.

Well, well, well! Looks like the Brotherhood have a new housemate! What insanity will happen next? How will the Brotherhood deal with Pyro? What further adventures will they get into? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	40. Just Another Average Day!

**The Starr Chronicles**

_To soulstress: Hey there soulstress! Nice to hear from you again! I read the new chapter of "Tempest" and I loved it! My favorite part was when the boys all coughed "GAY" at Pietro. He does put out that vibe sometimes. I agree with you about Rogue. She's cool. Yeah, Duncan would be great in a Public Service Announcement right now talking about the joys of playing outside, heh heh heh. Oh yeah, **now** the fire gets noticed. At least nothing **important** in the Brotherhood House got damaged. In the Starr-verse, Pyro and Paul grew up together in __Los Angeles__, even though John spent a lot of his early life in __Australia__. Well, I don't think Xavier would mind lending the Brotherhood a fire extinguisher or two. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can't wait for you to put up the new chapter of 'Tempest'! Please put it up! Don't let that great story go unfinished!_

_To Sparky Genocide: Hey there Sparky Genocide! Nice to hear from you, my friend! I like that idea, but I don't really see John as a big egomaniac type. He's more of the insane artistic type, heh heh. Besides, Pietro doesn't need to be in a contest to do immature stuff. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To RogueFanKC: Hey there, RogueFan! Yeah, I guess Pietro took having his room fried better than I thought as well. What makes you say he wouldn't try to kill Pyro? I think he just needs time to adjust to the fact that he's just snapped. Anyway, I can't wait for the next chapter, and I can't wait for the new chapter of "X Kat: The Mutant Squadron"! By the way, have you ever thought of the Misfits meeting the classic 70s cast of Saturday Night Live? Or even better, the Misfits doing their own version of Saturday Night Live! That'd rock! Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Raliena: Hey there Rae! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Oh geeze Rae, I'm sorry, but again, the website address did not show up! I'm so sorry, Rae! I hope this new chapter makes up for it! Enjoy!_

_To todd fan: Hey there todd fan! Nice to hear from you! I'm glad you liked the last chapter, especially Pyro's line about the curtains. I thought that would get a giggle out of you. I hope you get a good laugh out of this new chapter too, and I can hardly wait for you to put up new chapters of "Slugs and Snails", "Little Shop of Mutants", and "X-Men: Evolution, the Musical"!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there Red Witch! I read the last chapter of "Double Identity" and I loved it! Hooray for Rogue! She can touch, even though it's only for short periods of time. Yeah, a little fire and electrocution is always guaranteed to get your day going! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait to read more from you!_

**Disclaimer: "You have GOT to be kidding me!" - Don West, TNA Wrestling**

Chapter 40: Just Another Average Day!

**The Brotherhood Boarding House, Bayville**

"My room…" Pietro Maximoff whimpered as he sat on his knees in front of his fried room. Meanwhile, it was a different story downstairs.

"Yeah, and thanks again for letting us have the extinguishers, Professor." Paul Starr thanked into the telephone. "Yeah, turns out we needed them after all. Alright, tell the girls I said hi." Paul put back the phone and walked into the living room. There, the other members of the Brotherhood were gathered around John.

"So, tell us Allerdyce, how do you know Paul Starr over here?" Lance asked, pointing at Paul with his thumb. John grinned.

"Well, that's easy to explain, mates." John grinned. "You see, I was born in Australia. Sydney to be exact. However, when I was six, me parents moved to America. Los Angeles, to be exact. Me mum was an actress, and she came to LA to find work, which she did in commercials and as a recurring character in some local soap opera. Paul and I met at school and we were mates ever since. Also, we were friends with this Sheila named Jenny. She had a bit of a wild streak, but she was a nice girl. That all changed when I was 14." The pyromaniac sighed. "Me powers emerged, and me parents disowned me. Paul's family let me live with them. Then Jenny left."

"Moved away?" Todd asked.

"Not by choice. Jenny witnessed a mob hit, and she got moved by the government." John sighed. "I miss her. She was a sweet old bird. Neither Paul nor I were allowed contact with her or her family, despite the fact her dad hated me for some reason. Then Magneto found me and Paul. He tried to recruit us."

"I was scared of him." Paul said. "Something about his eyes. I saw his eyes. He had this gleam in his eyes that no sane man should have."

"No surprise." Wanda grumbled in agreement.

"Well, I thought differently about Magneto." John sighed. He looked up at Paul. "The last time the two of us spoke, we argued." He put a hand on Paul's shoulder. "Good to see you again, mate."

"We don't really work for Mags, John." Todd grumbled. "He and Mystique left us all high and dry."

"I think that's a good thing!" John grinned. "That basically means we can do what we want!"

"A good thing!" Todd blinked. "You like Martha Stewart, don't you?"

"You say that like it's a bad thing." John grinned at the speedster.

"Well, it's good to see you again, John." Paul grinned.

"Remember guys, we have to get some…supplies." Fred smirked.

"Oh yeah, I remember." Lance smirked back.

"Supplies? For what?" Lila blinked.

"Another prank run on Kelly's house?" Paul snickered.

"Uh, nooo…" Wanda said as she slowly got up from her chair. Lance, Todd, and Fred also made motions that seemed to indicate that they would dart for the door at any minute. However, the four mutants' attempts to escape were interrupted.

"**_DIE!_**" Pietro Maximoff, calling upon his mutant speed, came out of nowhere and wrapped his arms around John's neck from behind while screaming, drooling, and cursing like a madman, trying to choke Pyro out. The other mutants screamed and tried to get Pietro off the pyromaniac.

**The Brotherhood House, that night**

Lila Cheney, Paul Starr, Craig Starr, and St. John Allerdyce walked up to the steps of the Brotherhood House.

"I don't get it." Lila said to the boys. "They seemed pretty bent on getting us out of the house."

"Maybe they wanted to prepare a surprise party." Paul suggested.

"A surprise party!" Craig groaned in disbelief. "Why in the name of God would they throw a surprise party!"

"Well…we **did** beat up that Vincent James guy." Paul reminded his twin brother.

"Yeah, yeah." Craig grumbled as he opened the door. "Huh? Guys, I think you want to take a look at this." The other three mutants peeked in.

"Come in, New Ones." Lance's voice said. John, Paul, Craig, and Lila carefully walked in. The living room was lit mainly by candles, and the furniture was moved to the sides. A stereo in the background played Gregorian monk chants. And speaking of Gregorian Monks, Lance, Pietro, Fred, Todd, and Wanda were standing around a large black book, an atlas to be exact, dressed the part.

"What's going on here?" Lila blinked.

"This looks like something out of Animal House." John blinked. "Oh dear God, I hope they don't use a paddle on us." Todd, Fred, Wanda, and Lance pulled back their hoods.

"Paul and Craig Starr…Lila Cheney…and St. John Allerdyce…" Lance read.

"Hold on mates, no offense." John interrupted with a raise of his hand. "But I thought Pietro wanted to kill me." Wanda pulled back Pietro's hood, revealing that his head was tilted back, and he had a big dumb grin on his face. His eyes were glazed over, and a line of drool fell out of his mouth.

"Huhhhhhhhhhhhhh…" Pietro mumbled.

"He's heavily sedated." Wanda explained. "Now both of us have had it!"

"You'd be surprised what Wanda here has in her room." Todd chuckled.

"Anyway, you four have become part of the Brotherhood family. Well, except for John, but that's only because you've been here for a day." Todd snickered. "Anyway, we want you to raise your right hands."

"Ooh, just like a college fraternity!" Paul grinned as he raised his right hand. Lila snickered and did it as well. John did as well.

"I can't believe I'm doing this." Craig grumbled as he raised his hand. "I've been here less than a month, and I already feel that I've lost my head."

"Okay, now repeat after me. I…" Todd said.

"I…" Paul, Craig, Lila, and John all said.

"State your name…"

"State your name…"

"Do pledge allegiance to the Brotherhood…Wait a minute, we got Wanda and Lila here, should we still call ourselves the _Brother_hood? I mean, isn't that un-PC or something, yo?" Todd wondered. The others groaned.

"Don't worry about it, Froggy." Lila grinned. "I ain't offended."

"I don't care." Wanda shrugged.

"Oh, okay then." Todd continued. "And…" Todd struggled to come up with an ending. "Uh…and liberty and justice for all."

"Oh God…" Lance groaned.

"Amen." The four replied. Lance picked up a bunch of saltine crackers and walked up to the four. He first looked at Paul.

"From now on, your Brotherhood name is Starchild for your aptitude for music and the star on your face." He handed Paul a cracker.

"Starchild. That codename is rad." Paul grinned. Lance looked at Craig.

"From now on, your Brotherhood name is Darkstar." Lance gave Craig a cracker.

"Why Darkstar?"

"Why not? Besides, Wanda came up with it." Lance responded. Craig's cheeks reddened slightly and Lance smirked. He looked at Lila.

"Lila, your Brotherhood name, after much debate, is Starway." Lance said. "Yours was a nightmare to come up with."

"Thanks." Lila ate her cracker.

"No offense mate, but I already have me codename. Pyro." John said. "I gave it to meself. Everybody always said I was a bit of a pyro."

**Downtown Bayville**

Principal Kelly waited at a crosswalk until the signal light turned to the white walking man. Kelly walked across the street.

"I could use a hot dog…" Kelly mumbled to himself as he saw a hotdog cart nearby. "AAAAAAAGH!" A bus hit Kelly.

**A hat shop in Bayville**

Duncan Matthews was trying on hats.

"Hey, this hat's nice…" Duncan put on a cowboy hat. However, when he looked at himself at a mirror, he heard rumbling. He turned around and… "AAAAAGH!" Duncan got trampled by a pack of wild horses.

Well, well, well! Looks like the craziness shall continue! What insanity will happen next? How will our four heroes react to now being full-fledged Brotherhood members? Will Kelly and Duncan ever get a break? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	41. Rock 'n' Roll!

**The Starr Chronicles**

_To mattb3671: Hey there matt! Nice to hear from you again! I read the new chapter of "X-Men is Australian for Mutant" and I loved it! Man, Todd kicked butt, but he seemed to get a little bit unhinged in the process. I hope it doesn't turn out to be a sign of something really bad. Yeah, Brotherhood rituals rule. You get the strangest people visiting you, huh? I'm glad you liked the last chapter, especially the Duncan and Kelly torture. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can't wait for the next chapter of "X-Men is Australian for Mutant"._

_To RogueFanKC: Hey there, Rogue! I read the new chapter of "X Kat: The Mutant Squadron", and I loved it! Jake to the rescue, baby! Yeah, we can be thankful that Pietro didn't kill Pyro. I kind of thought that it would be appropriate for Wanda to have sedatives in her room, considering where she was and all. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for the new chapter of "X Kat: The Mutant Squadron"!_

_To Chiomon: Hey there, Chiomon! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, I did drop some clues. Jenny is an actual Marvel character. The clues I dropped should indicate who she is. I plan to have her make an appearance very soon. If you figured it out, then please don't spoil it! Thanks for the congrats. I never had over 200 reviews on a story before! That's a new record for me, and I haven't even finished this crazy story yet! Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To todd fan: Hey there todd fan! Nice to hear from you! Yeah, I know what it's like to not have a lot of time to do stories and such. Hope you did well on your exam. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Slugs and Snails", "X-Men: Evolution, the Musical", and "Little Shop of Mutants"!_

_To Aaron: Hey there, Aaron! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! I thought the little Animal House tributes would be good for a laugh. Actually, the Brotherhood has **four** new members: Starchild, Darkstar, Starway, and Pyro. I don't know if I'll be able to fit Jenni Starr in this story, but you never know. You can bet that the X-Men will not be too happy to see that the Brotherhood's ranks have swelled to nine: Avalanche, Toad, Quicksilver, Blob, Scarlet Witch, Starway, Darkstar, Pyro, and Starchild. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there Red Witch! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, that's a great idea! X-Men torture, huh? Well, I just came up with an awesome new idea to torment the X-Men…well, the male members of the X-Men, anyway. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for the new chapters of "Valor, Venom, and Other Stuff" and "Memories Are Made of This"!_

_To Sparky Genocide: Hey there Sparky Genocide! Yeah, I've heard of Benny Hill. I have plans for the Brotherhood in the future, and I just may be able to use that! Thanks a lot, man! Enjoy the new chapter! _

_To soulstress: Hey there, soulstress! I read the new chapter of "Tempest" and I loved it! I liked it when the other guys cracked jokes about Pietro and his Quicksilver costume. Yeah, you just saw a Brotherhood initiation ceremony. Yeah, you're right! I shouldn't given Duncan and Kelly a break! They suck! Enjoy the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "There are two things that I don't like: People who are intolerant of other people's cultures…and the Dutch." - Michael Caine as Nigel Powers, Austin Powers: Goldmember. I also don't own the song in this chapter.**

Chapter 41: Rock 'n' Roll!

**Scott Summers' room, The Xavier Institute**

"Uhnnn…ohhhh…" Scott Summers moaned as he tossed and turned in his bed. He was having a nightmare. And there was noise coming from the roof. His eyes were covered by a special pair of sleep eyemask. He couldn't open his eyes without his ruby quartz eyemask or glasses because ruby quartz was one of the few substances that could block the uncontrollable optic beams his mutant gene provided him. "No…no…President Alvers…who voted him in…No…no…NO!" Scott leapt up in a cold sweat. "Oh Dear God…" Scott pointed his head up at the noise and scowled. "It had better not be who I think it is…" The teenage X-Men leader grumbled and groused as he got up, revealing he was wearing a white t-shirt and boxers. He threw on a blue robe and stomped outside. He looked up at the roof of the Institute. "Oh, you have _got_ to be kidding me." He saw what appeared to be Avalanche alongside the Brotherhood's newest members: Starchild, Pyro, Darkstar, and Starway. They were standing on a platform. They appeared to be playing an impromptu concert. Paul and Lance were playing guitars (Paul's was a purple Flying V, and Lance's was a white Stratocaster), Craig was playing a black bass guitar, John was behind an orange drum kit, and Lila was behind her gold keyboard. There were a couple stacks of speakers to the sides of the platform. "What're you morons trying to do, wake up everyone?"

"No, we're _trying_ to rehearse, Summers!" Lance snapped. "In case you haven't noticed, we're trying to achieve dreams of rock stardom here!"

"Is this another Brotherhood attempt to get rich and make us look like idiots?" Scott grumbled.

"Ha! You wish, Summers!" Lance laughed. "You really do wish." Jean walked out. Her red hair was messy, and she was dressed in pink fuzzy slippers and a pink robe.

"What's going on?" Jean yawned.

"The Moron Squad has arrived." Scott grumbled. Jean looked up and squealed.

"Oh my God! You have a band, Paul!" Jean squealed. She realized her hair was messy. "Oh God! I let him see me with my hair like this! What was I _thinking?_" Jean immediately went to trying to straighten out her hair, much to Scott's annoyance. Paul chuckled.

"Jean, you are so silly." Paul laughed. "You just got up. I understand if your hair's messy."

"Why are you practicing here?" Scott grumbled.

"It's the perfect spot, that's why." John grinned from behind his orange drum kit.

"Who is that?" Scott pointed at Pyro.

"Him?" Craig pointed at John with his thumb.

"His name's St. John Allerdyce. Call him Pyro. We came home from vacation, and there he was, sitting on a deck chair, catching rays and grilling burgers." Lila answered.

"Since the five of us were all musicians, we decided to see if we could form a band." Paul added with his grin.

"Play a song, please?" Jean asked sweetly. "I'd love to hear you sing, Paul."

"Call him Starchild now." Lance smirked. "We sort of made Paul's Brotherhood membership 'official'. Paul is Starchild, Craig's Darkstar, and Lila is Starway."

"They got codenames now, huh?" Scott grumbled.

"Starchild?" Jean swooned. "That codename is _adorable!_ It's so you, Paul." Scott groaned. Professor Xavier wheeled out.

"Thank God, Professor!" Scott sighed in relief. Xavier looked up at the fledgling Brotherhood band.

"So, _you're_ the ones who are waking us all up." Xavier noted.

"Aren't they great, Professor?" Jean sighed happily.

"You haven't even heard them play a note!" Scott snapped.

"But I'm sure they'll be great." Jean sighed. Scott pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Professor Charles Xavier, Scott Summers, and Jean Grey…you three are witnessing something great…" Paul said in a booming voice. "You are witnessing history…you are looking at the world's first ever all-mutant rock 'n' roll band…the Superstars!"

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!" Jean squealed in delight. "Play a song! Play a song! Play a song!" She started jumping up and down, clapping her hands.

"JEAN, SHUT UP! WE'RE, LIKE, TRYING TO SLEEP HERE!" Kitty's voice erupted from her window.

"You want to see us play, Jean?" Paul chuckled. "Well ,we're just practicing right now. You'll get to see us play later today."

**Bayville****High School****, later that day**

"Okay, is everyone ready?" Paul asked his bandmates in the newly formed Superstars. He was dressed in a plain black t-shirt, purple leather pants with a silver 5-pointed star on the left leg, silver boots, a black studded belt, and a glittery purple ringmaster-style jacket with silver-and-black highlights and 5-pointed stars on the sleeves. His star birthmark was painted with purple glitter, and his nails were painted purple, his hands decorated by purple biker gloves. The five teenage mutants were standing behind a curtain

"Let's do this." Lance said. On his face, he painted a silver shape like the silver shape on the face of Kiss guitarist Ace Frehley, only the points were curved and white was around his eyes. Lance was dressed in a black sleeveless t-shirt with white leather pants, silver boots and belt, white fingerless gloves, and a long sleeveless white coat with silver studs on the shoulders, that were also adorned by chains.

"Mm." Craig nodded. He was clad in black from head to toe. His black leather jacket had black bat-like wings adorning the sleeves with silver studs for highlights, and studs on the lapels. "Good thing that idiot Kelly is doing an assembly today."

"This is going to be great!" John whooped. He was dressed in a black sleeveless t-shirt, orange leather pants, silver boots, black-and-silver gloves, and an orange vest with silver and black flames around the sides. He was holding a pair of drumsticks, and he had painted orange-and-silver flames around his eyes.

"Oh yeah. Bayville High will never know what hit it." Lila smirked. She was dressed in a tight sleeveless black top with two golden sashes crossing her chest. She also had on fingerless black gloves, gold studded forearm bands, a silver studded belt, gold leather pants, and silver boots. She also had painted a gold shape around her eyes, which looked like the head of a battle axe. She looked down at her outfit. "I have to give Mr. Ambiguous credit. He may be stupid, but the man knows his costumes." Craig peeked out the curtain.

"They're arriving." Craig said simply. He knew the school was having an assembly today, but he couldn't care less why they were here. All that mattered to him was that the audience was there. Everyone thought they were going to a school assembly. Even Principal Kelly, who organized the lame thing, thought so. Boy, were they going to get a surprise. Principal Kelly walked on stage to the podium, ready to address the student body.

"Sorry to interrupt your school day, kids. I'm Principal Kelly, and I wish to speak to you all…" Kelly started droning. Behind him, the Superstars were getting ready for their debut performance.

"Has anyone seen the Superstars?" Jean asked Kitty. "I haven't seen 'em all day." Kitty only shrugged in response.

"This is gonna be good." Todd snickered to Wanda. Wanda nodded in agreement. Kelly continued droning, completely oblivious as the curtain behind him, revealing the Superstars. John tapped his drumsticks.

"1! 2! 1-2-3!" John exclaimed.

_What?_ Kelly turned around. The Superstars started playing a classic Kiss song. The noise made Kelly scream, and in shock, he fell off the stage. Paul strutted to the podium, playing his purple guitar. He broke the podium apart with one kick, revealing a mike stand decorated with purple ribbons. He started to sing into the microphone, his voice sounding a little like the man Paul was named after.

After a minute, Lance broke into the guitar solo, which nearly made Kitty have a heart attack with all her squealing. The rocktumbler mentally smirked. At this point, the students had started to enjoy the show, making metal gestures, banging their heads, dancing and the like.

The band ended the song, and the student body jumped up and screamed, clapped, and hooted with delight. The five mutants took a bow for their audience. Principal Kelly moaned as he got to his feet. Suddenly, a pack of wild dogs ran in and started mauling Kelly. All the kids burst out laughing. A couple of the dogs suddenly leapt into the crowd. "AAAAAAGH! HELP ME!" Duncan screamed as the dogs started mauling him.

Well, well, well! Looks like the Superstars' debut performance was a huge hit. What insanity will happen next? Will Kelly kill our hard rockin' heroes? Will the Brotherhood have more misadventures? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	42. Flirting with Disaster!

**The Starr Chronicles**

_To mattb3671: Hey there matt! I like that idea of the Superstars covering Sabbath's "Paranoid" and John starts acting weird. As soon as I can find the lyrics, I'll see what I can do. Yeah, I would not be surprised if those dogs that keep attacking Kelly and Duncan are wearing pentagram dog collars like in that old Motley Crue video. You're very welcome. Did you get that Superstars shirt I sent you? Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for the new chapter of "X-Men is Australian for Mutant"._

_To todd fan: Hey there todd fan! I read your new fic "Welcome to the __Enchanted __Land__", and I loved it! Something tells me that the fear of drug references wasn't the reason why the Magic Roundabout never crossed the pond. Don't worry, you'll see more mauling dog action. I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait to read new chapters of "Slugs and Snails", "X-Men: Evolution, the Musical", "Little Shop of Mutants", and "Welcome to the __Enchanted __Land__"!_

_To RogueFanKC: Hey there Rogue! I read the new chapter of "X-Kat: The Mutant Squadron" and I loved it! Man, shock after shock! But Dark Kat doesn't stand a chance now! Yeah, only an all-mutant glam-metal band like the Superstars could make an entrance like that. And yes, I did hear Scott's brain twitch! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for the new chapter of "X-Kat: The Mutant Squadron"!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there, Red Witch! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! President Alvers gave you an idea? Oh boy! I can't wait to see what comes of that idea. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Valor, Venom, and Other Stuff", and "Memories Are Made of This"!_

_To Aaron: Hey there Aaron! MTV Jammed? I don't really remember that show, to be honest with you. I'm glad you liked all the craziness of the last chapter! I thought the sight of Lance doing a guitar solo would make Kitty have a heart attack. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To soulstress: Hey there soulstress! Yes, they have a band! Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised if Kelly's attempt to kill the Superstars ends up with him getting mauled by dogs. Yeah, random maulings rock. Anyway, enjoy the new chapter, and I can't wait to read the new chapter of "Tempest"!_

_To Raliena: Hey there, Rae! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, the mutants **finally** got to see Duncan and Kelly get what they deserve. Anyway, enjoy the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "I am Spartacus!"**

Chapter 42: Flirting with Disaster!

**The Bayville High Auditorium**

The students walked out of the auditorium, all abuzz with the debut musical performance of the Superstars. Guys were in admiration, and the girls lusted over the hot lead singer and cute guitarist.

"Lance looks so yummy in white leather and silver make-up…" Kitty drooled as she staggered out of the auditorium with a stupid grin on her face.

"That was _amazing_, Scott!" Jean squealed happily. Scott grumbled.

"Razzum frazzum grumble grrr…" Scott grumbled under his breath. Jean groaned.

"Scott, everyone else had a good time!" Jean said. "Why can't you just enjoy the show like everyone else?"

**Principal Kelly's Office**

Paul Starr, Lance Alvers, Lila Cheney, St. John Allerdyce, and Craig Starr, the five teenage mutants that made up the world's first all-mutant glam-metal band, the Superstars, were in Principal Kelly's office. Kelly was behind his desk.

"You five are in really big trouble, you know that?" Kelly said to the band.

"All we did was play some music." Paul blinked.

"Kelly, I've _seen_ big trouble, and baby, this ain't big trouble for me." Lila smirked.

"Lila, ix-nay on the pace-say tuff-say." Lance whispered quietly. He eyed Kelly's coffeemaker.

"You interrupt a very important assembly, just so you can play some overblown jam session." Kelly rubbed his temples. "You Brotherhood punks are more trouble than you're worth and it only gets worse every day." He looked at Paul. "Paul Starr, you seem to be the only one of these Brotherhood kids who _remotely_ has a future."

"I resent that remark." Craig grumbled. Lance, with a roll of his eyes, got up from his seat and went over to the coffeemaker.

"Paul, why do you hang out with these people? They're dragging you down. They're trouble. It's obvious to everyone here that you're a nice kid, you treat other people with respect…this is not a good idea, hanging out with these people." Kelly said to Paul.

"Sounds like you're being rather judgmental to me." Paul said. "And you had to admit. Everyone had a good time." Screaming was heard from outside. The six looked at Kelly's door. Students were scrunched against the door, screaming.

"You guys rock, man! Fight the power!" A metalhead whooped.

"We love you, Paul!" A couple of cheerleaders squealed.

"Hey John, fight those hamsters!" One of the school psychos grinned.

"Oh brother." Kelly grumbled. He walked up to his door and pulled down a blind over it. "As I was saying to you, Paul…" He sat back down. "You're a good kid, and these Brotherhood guys will lead you down a bad path, kiddo."

"Hey Kelly, this coffeemaker sucks." Lance grumbled, whacking it with his fist.

"HEY!" Kelly exclaimed. "Leave my coffeemaker alone and sit down! I need an aspirin. I want you five to get out of those ridiculous outfits and makeup, and come back when you're not dressed like spacemen."

"Ooh, you want us to change right here?" Lila snickered.

"GET OUT OF HERE!" Kelly snapped. The five mutants quickly walked out to meet their delighted fans.

"This rocks!" Lance whooped as he swam his way through the sea of fans. Kelly watched them leave.

"Stupid kids always driving me bananas with something." The principal grumbled. He opened a drawer to get some aspirin, but… "AAAAAAARGH!" Several snakes pounced out of the drawer at Kelly. "OH GOD! SNAKES! I HATE SNAKES! HELP ME! I THINK THEY'RE POISONOUS!" Meanwhile, Duncan Matthews was walking out of the auditorium himself. He happened to notice the sea of fans and the Superstars fighting their way through them.

"Stupid Brotherhood weirdoes." Duncan groused. He grumbled and growled as he went to his locker. He opened his locker door, and… "AAAAAAAARGH!" A pack of dogs leapt out of the locker and started mauling Duncan. "NOT AGAIN! HELP ME! WHY GOD WHY! MAMAAAAAAAAAAA!" The Superstars noticed this and laughed.

"Now _that_ is funny!" Lila grinned.

"WHOA!" A pink cardigan-wearing blur came out of nowhere and tackled Lance. The blur started planting kisses all over Lance's face. _I love being me._ Lance grinned.

**The Brotherhood House, later that day**

The Superstars all returned home, clad in their civilian clothes. John was carrying a duffel bag containing the Superstars' performing clothes.

"That rocked, mate!" John whooped.

"Yeah, it sure did, John." Lance agreed. The two high-fived.

"It was fun, I must admit." Craig admitted.

"I like to think so." Lila agreed. She saw Todd on the couch. He was writing a letter. Fred was sitting next to him, watching TV and chowing down on some burgers. "Hey Toady. What're you doing?"

"Writing a letter to Althea." Todd replied.

"Awwwww…" Lila cooed, pinching Todd's cheek. "Little Toady is writing a letter to his girlfriend." Fred snickered at that. Todd narrowed his eyes at the large mutant, then playfully whacked Lila's hand off his cheek.

"Stop, Lila!" Todd playfully snapped. "I'm just keeping Al appraised. Maybe we can go to Miami again sometime and see her again! Can we Lila? Huh huh huh huh huh?"

"Yeah sure, some other time." Lila chuckled, messing up Todd's hair.

"HELP ME!" John screamed as he fell down the stairs, a screaming and cursing Pietro latched on to him from behind, his arms wrapped around the crazy Australian pyrokinetic's neck. He was trying to choke him out again. The other Superstars ran to John's rescue, trying to save their drummer.

Well, well, well! Looks like our heroes have earned themselves some heavy metal street cred! What insanity will happen next? What wacky adventures will the Brotherhood get into next? Will Kelly and Duncan ever get a break? Will the X-Girls continue trying to go after Paul? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	43. Sudden Contact!

**The Starr Chronicles**

_To Sparky Genocide: Hey there Sparky Genocide! Nice to hear from you again, my friend. Sorry you were sick. I hope you feel a lot better. As for your suggestion, how can Kitty be jealous of the lipstick marks on his face when **she** put them on his face? Anyway, enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Aaron: Hey there Aaron! Yeah, the Superstars had to endure a lecture from Kelly, but it was worth it to provide a great show. You can bet that as far as Lance is concerned, he's going to enjoy the perks of being a rock star. I'm glad you liked all the insanity of the last chapter, especially! Enjoy this new one!_

_To Raliena: Hey there Rae! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Enjoy this new one!_

_To Chiomon: Hey there Chiomon! I haven't heard from you in a while! Nice to hear from you again! Kelly picks on the Brotherhood because he's jealous of them because they are so cool. Paul sees the good in the Brotherhood, unlike everyone else. Don't worry. I'll continue to torture Kelly. And __Duncan__ too. Enjoy the new chapter! _

_To soulstress: Hey there soulstress! Nice to hear from you again! Yeah, the Superstars rock! I'm sure Kelly remembers, he's just too embarrassed. Ah, the insane Sixties. If only I could've seen it, although personally, I would've rather wanted to see the Eighties. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for the new chapter of "Tempest"!_

_To RogueFanKC: Hey there Rogue Fan! I read the new chapter of "X Kat: The Mutant Squadron", and I loved it! Is Jake going to join the X-Men? You'd be surprised how long Pietro can hold a grudge against a person for accidentally destroying his room and all the beauty products contained within. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for the new chapter of "X Kat: The Mutant Squadron"!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there, Red Witch! Nice to hear from you again! I'm glad you liked the last chapter, especially all the Kelly torture. Don't worry, Red. This story's going to be around for quite a while, heh heh. Anyway, enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Valor, Venom, and Other Stuff", and "Memories Are Made of This"!_

_To todd fan: Hey there, todd fan! I'm glad the last chapter gave you some great laughs, and I hope this new chapter does too. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Welcome to The Enchanted Land", "Slugs and Snails", "X-Men: Evolution, the Musical", and "Little Shop of Mutants"!_

**Disclaimer: "Peter, those are Cheerios." - Brian the dog, Family Guy**

Chapter 43: Sudden Contact!

**The Brotherhood Boarding House, Bayville**

The Brotherhood were enjoying a nice breakfast. Thanks to the money coming in from Paul's part-time job, as well as Lila swiping the football players' cash, the Brotherhood were able to eat.

"Hey, Lila." Fred nudged Lila's shoulder. Fred was eating cereal, and Lila was having toast and jam.

"Yeah?" Lila wondered. Fred pointed to his spoon.

"I got a message in my Alpha-Bits. It says 'Ooooooooo'." Fred told Lila. Lila looked at the spoon, blinked, and then she looked at Fred.

"Uh…Big Man…I don't mean to insult your intelligence and all…but those are Cheerios." Lila said.

"Oh…okay." Fred nodded.

"Anybody got any plans today?" Paul grinned. "What're you guys going to do today?"

"The usual stuff, cause mayhem." Lance replied.

"I'm going to go be my fabulous self." Pietro grinned. Wanda rolled her eyes. She took a newspaper, and rolled it up.

"No. Bad Pietro." She whacked him in the nose with the paper.

"HEY!"

**Later that day**

"Another fun day at school." Lance snickered as the Brotherhood walked into the house. He had lipstick marks on his face and his shirt was in tatters. "Well, at least Kitty was happy to see me."

"Yeah. But she acted so viciously around the other girls." Paul blinked confusedly. "That's totally not like her, man. She wasn't being one bit tubular."

**Bayville High, Earlier that day**

"Kitty! Come on! Let me go!" Lance exclaimed as Kitty continued to maul him. "Kitty!" A blonde walked up to Lance.

"Like, hello Alvers. I saw your band the other day, and I thought you totally looked hot in that white and silver leather…" Kitty stopped and looked up. She roared like an enraged lion on steroids and jumped the blonde, beating her senseless.

"**_HE'S MINE!_**" Kitty howled and cursed as she smashed the blonde's brains in.

**The Brotherhood Boarding House, present time**

"Sheesh. And I thought the gang fights back home were brutal." Craig blinked at Lance's story.

"Stupid Daniels, thinks he's so great…razzum frazzum…" Pietro grumbled as he stomped by.

"Awww, whadda madda, Pietwo? Angwy because Spyke proved he was more man than you again?" Lila cooed mockingly.

"Oh shut up." Pietro grumbled.

"Principal Kelly needs to keep his pets under control." Paul observed. "I walk into his office and ask him something, and he had his pet dogs with him."

"Yeah. Mauling him." Lila quipped.

**Bayville High, earlier that day**

"Principal Kelly?" Paul asked as he opened the door to Kelly's office. His eyes widened. "Oh my God!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! HELP ME! OH MAMA IT HURTS!" Kelly screamed as he ran around, a pack of dogs on top of him and mauling him.

**The Brotherhood Boarding House, present day**

"Man, that prank was awesome!" Todd laughed as he and Fred walked in.

"Yeah. Those football players are going to be green for a year!" Fred laughed.

"Never make fun of green people, yo. They learned _that_ the hard way." Fred smirked evilly.

"Mail call!" John picked up the mail.

"We get mail?" Todd blinked. John looked through the mail.

"Bill…bill…_ooh!_ Free shampoo…bill…junk…we may have won ten bucks…Todd, letter from that Althea Sheila."

"Gimme gimme gimme!" Todd took the letter from John. He opened the envelope and pulled out a letter. He sat down on the stairs to read it, and he also grinned at the picture Althea sent with the letter. "Al…you minx…" He mumbled to himself.

"Oh…my…God…" John read the name on one letter. He opened it up and read it.

"What is it, John?" Fred wondered.

"Just something from a friend, mate." John grinned. Satisfied with the explanation, Fred shrugged and walked off. John quickly put the letter and the envelope in his pocket. The rest of the Brotherhood went to settle down in front of the tube.

"Move over Pietro, I don't want you near me." Lila's voice could be heard. John ran upstairs. He knocked on Paul's door. It had a silver glittery star on it with Paul's name on it in purple letters. "Paul! Let me in!" He said in a loud whisper. Paul opened his door.

"What?" Paul asked.

"Look what I got." John pulled out the envelope and letter. "Look at the name on the return address." Paul looked at the letter's return address. His eyes widened.

"…Jenny? It…it…it _can't_ be!" Paul whispered.

"Look at the return address, mate." John said. "We have to go to New York City." Paul looked up at him.

"The big city. How are we gonna pull that off?" Paul wondered.

"I have no idea, to be honest." John admitted after some thought. "All I know is that we got to get to the city. We could finally see Jenny again."

"I dunno." Paul remarked. His head shot up. "Lila!" The two boys quickly rushed down the stairs.

"Guys! Guys! Guys!" The two mutants exclaimed as they raced down the stairs. They found the other Brotherhood members still gathered around the television. They looked up at the two boys.

"Lila, we need to go to New York City." Paul said.

**Bayville High, earlier that day**

"Grrr…" Duncan growled at the snickering students as he stomped down the hallway. His skin and hair was green and he smelled terrible. Somebody had put some chemical in the showerheads in the boys' locker room in the gym. It caused the football players' skin to turn green and for them to smell really bad, which caused people to laugh and wince as they walked by. "I am going to _kill_ the Toad. He is going to freakin' **_die_** for this." Duncan stomped up to a water fountain. He decided to take a drink, but the fountain screwed up, spitting a jet of water into the hapless jock's face. It had an unusual reaction. "MY FACE! MY BEAUTIFUL FACE! IT BURNS! HELP ME! ARGH! IT HURTS! MY FACE! I CAN'T SEE! MAAAAAAMAAAAAAA!"

Well, well, well! Looks like our heroes are going back out of town! What insanity will happen next? Who is Jenny? Why is she in New York? And will Kelly and Duncan ever get a break? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	44. Surprise!

**The Starr Chronicles**

_To Chiomon: Hey there Chiomon! Yep, we're finally going to meet Jenny, the girl who Paul/Starchild and John/Pyro grew up with. And they're going to __New York__! Will they meet Spider-Man? Perhaps. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Aaron: Hey there Aaron! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, the gang is finally going to meet Jenny. I think Kitty would get very angry if another girl tried to flirt with Lance. That may happen more often in Bayville now that he is a guitar god. What was on the picture Al sent to Todd? Her, what else? A Superstars surprise concert? Interesting. That gives me an idea. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Sparky Genocide: Hey there Sparky! Nice to hear from you! Yeah, I figured Kitty would get very jealous. But we all know that Lance is very grounded (No pun intended). He wouldn't do anything to compromise his relationship with Kitty. The Brotherhood Boys arguing over a supernatural show? That's funny! I can imagine Pietro liking Buffy. It would open up plenty of jokes from Lila about how much a fan of Angel Pietro is. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To todd fan: Hey there todd fan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm glad you liked the __Duncan__ torture! More shall come! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Slugs and Snails", "Little Shop of Mutants", "X-Men: Evolution, the Musical", and "Tales from the Magic Roundabout"!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there, Red! I'm glad you liked seeing __Duncan__ green. Now he knows what Toad goes through. Warts, and disgusted dogs not wanting to maul him? Hmm, now I got a real funny idea for that. Thanks a lot. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Valor, Venom, and Other Stuff", and "Memories Are Made of This"!_

_To Raliena: Hey there Rae! I'm glad you liked the new chapter! Yeah, __New York__ had better watch out! The Brotherhood are coming! Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To RogueFanKC: Hey there, Rogue Fan! It's not Jenni Starr, I'm afraid. Sorry. But I have been thinking about bringing in a certain fire-making member of the Southside Misfits as a new recruit to the X-Men. Yeah, the brotherhood Boys would think more of Jenni as a sister if they did join. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for the new chapter of "X Kat: The Mutant Squadron"!_

**Disclaimer: "Every rose has its thorn." - Bret Michaels of Poison (And this guy is on a talent show for _country_ music?)**

Chapter 44: Surprise!

**New York City**

In the middle of a parking garage, a jeep materialized in a flash of bright white light. The jeep was towing a U-Haul.

"I think we need a bigger car." Fred noted. The nine Brotherhood kids were struggling to get out of their extremely cramped positions in Lance's jeep.

"No kidding." John agreed.

"What a way to start another vacation." Lance grumbled. "All this so Paul and John can play catch-up."

"This parking garage is not too far from the restaurant where we're supposed to meet." Paul noted, looking at the letter from Jenny and a map.

"Why did we need the U-Haul again?" Fred asked Wanda.

"Because jerky over here needed to bring his cosmetics." The hexcaster glared at her speedster twin brother.

"Hey, it takes a lot of work for me to look this good!" Pietro said in his own defense. "Besides, the Kiss wannabes wanted to bring their instruments OW!" He got bonked in the head by Wanda.

"Alright, alright!" Lance calmed everyone down. "We'll get settled into the hotel, and Paul and John go meet this Jenny girl."

"Ask her if she's single!" Pietro said quickly. Wanda bonked him on the head again. "OW! Wanda!"

"You know, John and I just originally intended to go to New York ourselves." Paul said.

"If there's anything you two should know, it's that we Brotherhood folks stick together, yo." Todd grinned.

"Come on, let's leave the boys to their little reunion. Maybe they'll introduce us afterward." Lila chuckled. Paul and John walked away. After a minute, they noticed Craig running after them.

"What's up, mate?" John asked Craig.

"This…Jenny girl Paul talks about. I do know her a little. Paul and I share a telepathic link. I've seen Paul's memories. It would sure be…interesting to meet her in person." Paul smiled at his brother.

"I'm sure she'd like to meet you, Craig." Paul grinned. "Come on! You'll love her."

**Chez Rochelle, a few minutes later**

"I hate these fancy places." Craig grumbled, looking around at the decor. He, Paul, and John sat at a table of Chez Rochelle, a fancy restaurant in New York. "Look at those rich fat cats over there." A couple looked at the leather-and-denim clad mutant with disgust. "What're **you** looking at? Ain't ever seen a teenager before?" Craig snapped.

"Relax, bro. Jenny said she'll be here in a minute." Paul checked his watch.

"I wonder why she wrote us, mate." John shook his head. "Last I heard, she was living somewhere really isolated in witness protection."

"Witnessed a mob hit, right?" Craig remembered from Paul's memories.

"Mm-hmm." Paul nodded. "It really saddened me and John when she had to leave. She wasn't allowed to contact us."

"Until now." Craig added. "This is very odd."

"I _so_ want to set those curtains on fire." John grinned madly. He looked at a rich old couple who were looking at the three mutants with disdain.

"Such peasants." The man sniffed to the woman. "They'll let anyone here these days." John smirked and flicked open his lighter. He used his powers to send a small flame from his lighter crawling along the ground to the old man's shoes. "AAAAGH!" The man screamed as he jumped up and tried to put out his flaming feet. The Australian pyromaniac snickered.

"Nice to see you're as crazy as ever, John." A female voice said. The three boys looked and saw a teenage girl walking toward them. She was around sixteen, and she was dressed in a pink t-shirt that said "Babe" across the chest in silver letters, blue jeans, and purple sneakers. She also was wearing purple fingerless gloves, and a watch around her left wrist. The clothes were tight against her athletic frame. She had brown eyes and brown hair that went down to her shoulders. Paul and John smiled in recognition.

"Jenny!" The two boys exclaimed. They ran up to her and hugged her. Something didn't feel right about the hug, but John and Paul decided to let it drop and ask later.

"Hey guys. I missed you." Jenny smiled. She blinked at Craig. "Who's he?"

"My brother Craig." Paul smiled. Craig only shrugged.

"You have a brother?"

"It's a long story." Paul smiled. "I guess we have a lot of catching up to do." The four kids then spent the next half hour talking and catching up. Jenny also spent that time getting to know Craig.

"How's your cousin? Does he still have that…emotional issue?" John asked.

"Emotional issue?" Craig blinked. Something in his mind started to stir. Craig looked through his memories, and the memories of his brother he did have, but it didn't give a lot of clues.

"Yeah." Jenny nodded sadly. "He does. He still moves around a lot because of it."

"I feel sorry for him." Paul shook his head.

"You guys certainly did lead some interesting lives." Jenny grinned. Paul opened his mouth to answer, but a roaring and screaming cut him off. "What?" A man-like monster roared as he smashed through the wall. He was six foot eight inches of solid muscle, dressed in only black trunks. His ears were webbed, brow was ridged, his feet only had two toes each, and his body was covered in green lizard-like scales.

"What **is** that thing?" Craig yelled. The monster smashed the ground with a hammer blow, causing a fissure to race through the ground. The fissure sent the four kids flying. Jenny was sent flying towards a wall, and her watch broke. Her body started to fizzle.

"I hated wearing this stupid thing anyway!" Jenny tore the watch off and crushed it in her hand as she got to her feet. Paul, John, and Craig got to their feet and looked at Jenny. Their jaws dropped. She was clad in the clothes she was wearing, but she looked a lot different. She stood nearly seven foot tall and her frame was voluptuous, but with plenty of muscle. The most striking feature about her was that her skin, eyes, and her long hair were bright green.

"What in the world?" Paul asked in shock. Jenny grinned at the three boys.

"What's the matter, boys? Never seen an Emerald Amazon before?"

**Bayville High Science Lab**

Principal Kelly walked into the science lab. There were no classes going on at the moment, so he decided to take a look around and see if there was any evidence of any students engaging in illegal activity. He noted the experiments the last class left so they could ferment overnight.

"Oops!" Principal Kelly accidentally knocked over two beakers containing chemicals. The beakers broke when they hit the ground and the chemicals made contact on the floor.

**_KABOOM!_**

"OWWWWWW!"

**Bayville High**

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!" Students and teachers in the hall pointed and laughed.

"Getting what he deserves at last." One Chess Club nerd snickered to another. "There _is_ a God."

"Indeed." The other Chess Club nerd chuckled back. "There is justice in the world."

"I hate my life." Duncan Matthews grumbled. His skin and hair was still green, and now he also had warts on his face. He was getting laughed at by the entire school. "Everyone's laughing at me! Even those pizza-faced nerds in the Chess Club think I need cream! I hate Toad! As soon as I find him, I'll kill him!" He went to his locker and opened it. The wild dogs inside leapt out and walked away. "What? Aren't you guys going to maul me?" The dogs looked at him with disgust and continued on their way. "Stupid mutts." Duncan grumbled. He turned back to his locker and a bunch of cobras leapt at him. "OH MY GOD! HELP ME! AAAAAAAGH! THEY GOT POISON! OWWWW!"

Well, well, well! Looks like the boys definitely had a lot of catching up to do! What insanity will happen next? What was up with Jenny? What was that monster? Can our heroes beat it? Will Kelly and Duncan ever get a break? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	45. Abomination!

**The Starr Chronicles**

_To Sparky Genocide: Hey there, Sparky Genocide! Nice to hear from you again! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! __Duncan__ attacked by puppies? That's a cute twist. I'll see what I can do with that. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Aaron: Hey there Aaron! Nice to hear from you again! You're right, you're right! It was the She-Hulk! I could imagine that Paul, Craig, and John would be very shocked by Jenny's new look. She's going to be equally shocked by the boys' powers. I mean, Paul has surprised her as well. First, he reveals he has a brother. Second, he develops superpowers. Yeah, I did like the She-Hulk in the 90s Hulk cartoon. That's my basis for Jenny here. Who are they fighting? He's a regular foe of Jenny's favorite cousin, and he has made appearances in the cartoons, and he's not the Leader. I have been thinking of bringing in Fyre as one of Xavier's new students. I don't know if I'll actually do it, though. I'm glad you liked the last chapter and the whole story so far. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Chiomon: Hey there Chiomon! Nice to hear from you again! Didn't you recognize Jenny? She's Jenny Walters, the Sensational She-Hulk! You know, I just may bring in Spider-Man, too. This little brawl was inspired by the Amazing Spider-Man Annual from 1989. It was part of the "Atlantis Attacks" storyline. In the comic, a mindless Abomination rampaged across __New York__ as a result of an experiment by rogue Atlanteans, and it was up to Spider-Man and She-Hulk to take him down. Do not fear, my friend. I shall include more Kelly and __Duncan__ torture._

_To todd fan: Hey there, todd fan! Nice to hear from you again! I read the new chapter of "Random Tales of the Magic Roundabout" and I loved it! April Fools' Day to you too! Man, that time of year can get pretty crazy! Don't worry, tf. I'll make sure Kelly and Duncan don't get a break. If you ever have any ideas for torturing them, let me know, okay? Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Random Tales of the Magic Roundabout", "Slugs and Snails", "X-Men: Evolution, the Musical", and "Little Shop of Mutants"!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there, Red Witch! Nice to hear from you again! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! I really appreciated your help. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait to read more from you, including new chapters of "Valor, Venom, and Other Stuff"!_

_To Raliena: Hey there, Rae! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, John, Paul, and Craig are going to want some explanations. And the green monster that attacked the restaurant…it isn't Bruce. It's not the Hulk. It's someone who has fought the Hulk a lot. He's big, Russian, and his name begins with A. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To RogueFanKC: Hey there Rogue! I read the last chapter of "X Kat: The Mutant Squadron and I loved it! Looks like Jake will do just fine at Xavier's. Yep! The She-Hulk has arrived, baby! How did Jenny get an image inducer? I'll explain that. Don't worry. I'm glad you liked seeing John setting that rich guy's feet ablaze. The U-Haul had more than Pietro's cosmetics. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for your one-shots with the West Coast Misfits and the Starr Brothers!_

**Disclaimer: "What's it look like? My tailor-made shirt, his blood. Run a toxicology screen…and I'm billing the Bureau." - Dennis Farina as Detective Joe Fontana, Law and Order**

Chapter 45: Abomination!

**Chez Rochelle, ****New York City****New York**

"Jenny? H-h-how?" Paul's jaw dropped at his now-green friend. The four teenagers were standing across from a large green man-like monster.

"No time for that, boys. I'll explain later." Jenny said.

"Ahh…" The green-scaled webbed-eared man-monster smirked. His voice was gravelly, but it contained a Russian accent. He stared at Jenny. "Jennifer Walters. The She-Hulk. Yes, you do look a lot like your infamous cousin…only prettier." Jenny narrowed her eyes.

"What is that?" John gulped.

"His name is Emil Blonsky." Jenny answered. "But they call him the Abomination."

"It was your cousin's fault I ended up like this!" Emil snapped.

"_Bruce?_ It was _your_ fault! You messed around with a gadget that Cousin Brucie intended to use to kill himself!"

"Huh?" Craig blinked. "I'm confused."

"I'll explain later, mate." John nodded. "Hey Blonsky! Feel the burn!" John flipped open his lighter and let a jet of flame erupted from it, hitting the Abomination right beteen the eyes.

"_RAAAAAARGH!_" Emil roared in pain and rage, covering his eyes and stepping back. Jenny's jaw dropped and she turned to John. "MY EYES!"

"Something tells me that you're not the only one who needs to explain some stuff, John." Jenny smirked.

"Can we swap stories later?" Craig snapped. His right eye glowed a bright purple. As the Abomination's healing factor started trying to repair his burned eyes, Craig let rip with his eye laser. The purple beam of concentrated heat and purple light blazed through the air and nailed the Abomination right in the chest. Jenny charged the Abomination and gave him a shoulder tackle, causing them to tumble into the street.

"I was originally planning just to rough you up a bit and find out where your cousin was…" Abomination growled, grabbing Jenny by the hair and hefting her up.

"Hey! Watch the hair! I just had it washed!" Jenny snapped.

"But now, it looks like I'll have to crush you." Abomination smirked.

"Leave her alone!" John yelled. Paul, Craig, and John let rip with their powers. The Abomination growled under the assault of flame and laser beams. The Abomination grabbed Jenny in a chokehold and threw her across the street, causing her to hit a lamppost spine-first. "JENNY!" The Abomination smirked evilly at the three teen boys. Paul and Craig and John continued their assault on the green gamma-powered man-monster. It held him back, but not by much. The lasers appeared to do more damage than the flames did, though.

"You children are pathetic." The Abomination laughed arrogantly.

"Man, this guy is bloody indestructible." John grumbled.

"No kidding." Craig growled. "Our lasers can barely hold him back!"

"Never send a bunch of boys to do men's work." Abomination smirked as he walked towards them. Jenny got to her feet and ripped out the lamppost she was knocked into. With a look of anger on her face, the green-skinned female powerhouse charged, leapt into the air, and brought the lamppost crashing down on Abomination's head. The Abomination was sent to his knees. The large green man-monster growled and turned to Jenny, who was staring at him with a "Come-get-some" look. "You are as annoying as your cousin, you know that?"

"I haven't _begun_ to annoy you." Jenny growled back. The Abomination smirked.

"I always thought you should've gotten a good whuppin' since your cousin first put his blood in you…"

THWIP!

"ARGH!" Abomination roared as what appeared to be spider webs covered his eyes. A figure landed on a nearby taxi cab in a crouch. The figure was sleek, but has some muscle on him. The figure was clad in a red-and-blue costume with black webbing on the red parts and a small black spider on the chest. He also wore red boots and gloves with black webbing on them. His face and hair were covered in a red mask with black webbing on it and big white eyes. Jenny smirked at the figure.

"Hey She-Hulk, didn't someone ever tell your big green friend over there that he needs a license to rampage through the city these days?" The figure joked in a playful voice.

**A fancy hotel in New York**

"Oh man, just like Miami, yo." Todd grinned as he laid back on a long white couch. The amphibious mutant decided to watch a monster truck rally on a big plasma screen TV. "I gotta remember to steal this."

"WHOOOOOO!" Lance whooped as he rode into the room on a motorbike. He leapt off the bike before it crashed into a window, driving out into the balcony. "YEAH! LET'S DO THIS!" Lance grabbed an armchair and prepared to toss it out the window.

"Lance, NO!" Todd exclaimed.

"I'm a rockstar, baby! I have the right…no, the **duty** to destroy a hotel room!" Lance exclaimed in delight.

"You ain't famous enough, yo!" Todd reminded. "You won't be able to get away with it yet!" Lance blinked as he thought about it.

"Aw nuts, you got a point." Lance threw away the armchair.

"Guess what? I got four phone OW!" Pietro started to walk into the room when the armchair Lance threw knocked him in the mouth. Wanda, Fred, and Lila walked in, and they were covered in food.

"What happened to you guys?" Lance wondered.

"A couple rich punks thought they could get fresh with us." Wanda explained. "I hexed one of them, his friends splashed chicken soup all over me, Lila punches him out, you know how it goes." Wanda replied with a shrug.

"Food fight!" Lila grinned.

"Oh God…the horror…the horror…" Fred moaned.

"What happened to him?" Lance pointed at Fred.

"That lobster…it was so scrumptious…" Fred moaned. He looked like he was about to cry.

"One of those rich boys we beat up tired to whack me upside the head with the lobster. I hexed him, and it ended up in a very painful place." Wanda smirked evilly.

"Man, I am flamin' _glad_ I find myself another woman, yo." Todd whispered to Lance. "I would _not_ want Wanda's hexbolts to get me into that kind of a fix. I was happy with going through walls." Lance nodded. A special bulletin was heard from the TV.

"A huge rampage erupted downtown as a big green monster that some think may be the Hulk created random chaos and destruction." The newscaster, a brown-haired man in a blue suit started. "The creature was then attacked by what appeared to be several teenagers, possessing strange powers. The battle was also joined by the Avenger known as She-Hulk and the vigilante known as Spider-Man. In essence…" The newscaster took a breath. "WE ALL GONNA DIE! MAAAAAMAAAAAA! I WANT MY MOMMY! WAHHHHHHHHHH!" The newscaster threw the papers away screaming as he ran off screen.

"That…was weird." Lila noted.

"Oh God…" Lance groaned. "Can't we _go_ anywhere without a disaster?"

**Bayville Pet Shop**

Duncan Matthews looked around the pet shop, hoping to find a pet. He saw a litter of puppies at the window and smiled, walking over to them.

"Aww…" The puppies looked up at Duncan. And then they leapt on the football player and started to maul him. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! HELP ME! MAMA! SAVE ME!"

**Bayville Multiplex**

"Well, that movie was terrible." Principal Kelly grumbled as he walked out of the theater. "Ten bucks down the drain. I have to remember to kill that movie critic-"

"LOOK OUT!" Someone yelled. A creaking was heard.

"What?" Kelly blinked. He looked up and the marquee fell on him. "OWWWWWW!"

Well, well, well! Looks like we got another super-brawl on our hands! What insanity will happen next? Can our heroes beat the Abomination? What's with the Spidey appearance? Will Pietro ever get some dignity? Will Kelly and Duncan get a break? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	46. Super Brawl!

**The Starr Chronicles**

_To Chiomon: Hey there, Chiomon! Nice to hear from you again! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! At first, the She-Hulk was more animalistic, but that changed. Since she doesn't have as much gamma radiation in her body (And her psychological profile is a lot different than Bruce's), the She-Hulk does retain her normal intelligence and personality, albeit she's more outgoing and fun-loving than her human form. If you ant to know where she's been in the comics, she's had stints in the Avengers, had her own book a couple times, and she has subbed for the Thing in the Fantastic Four. Yup, never mess with the Scarlet Witch and Starway. And yes, Spider-Man is here, man! This is the first time I ever wrote him. I hope I do a good job of portraying him. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To RogueFanKC: Hey there, Rogue Fan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Well, Abomination and Jenny have squared off in the comics. Yeah, Spider-Man is here. This is a little tribute to the Amazing Spider-Man Annual from 1989. Yeah, the Brotherhood is getting connections in the costume world. Well, Lance can't help himself. He's riding high for once in a way. Let him celebrate. Yeah, the news would be more fun to watch if more news reporters did act like that. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait to read more from you!_

_To Raliena: Hey there, Rae! Nice to hear from you again! Yeah, it's Murphy's Law. A hidden clause in Murphy's Law states that the Brotherhood shall not go anywhere without causing a disaster, even if they had nothing to do with it. I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Aaron: Hey there, Aaron! Nice to hear from you again! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Your little fight card sounds good except for one thing: You forgot that the rest of the Brotherhood is on their way. I thought the scene with Lance attempting to trash the hotel room like the rock star he is would be good for some laughs. Poor Fred. He never did get to enjoy the lobster. Oh well, he may get another chance. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Sparky Genocide: Hey there, Sparky Genocide! Nice to hear from you again! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Kelly in a piranha-infested river? Hmm…that sounds interesting. I'll see if I can fit that in. Thanks a lot. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To todd fan: Hey there, todd fan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! I thought that that scene with Lance going wild on the hotel room would be funny. I'd love to see you have Lance saying that line in one of your own fics. That would be so cool. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Slugs and Snails", "X-Men: Evolution, the Musical", "Random Tales of the Magic Roundabout", and "Little Shop of Mutants"!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there, Red Witch! Nice to hear from you again! I'm glad you liked the last chapter!I read the new chapters of "Evolution XMJ" and "Cry Havok" and I loved them! Wacky courts, dimension, and __Phoenix__ II, oh my! Yeah, it certainly is wild! Spider-Man and She-Hulk rule! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Evolution XMJ" and "Cry Havok"!_

**Disclaimer: "Looks like we're up to our necks in terrorists again, John." - Bruce Willis as John MacClaine, Die Hard 2**

Chapter 46: Super Brawl!

**New York City**

"You little brats are a real pain!" Emil Blonsky, aka the Abomination roared, ripping out a streetlamp from the ground, pitching it at a motley crew of five people: Starchild, a teenage mutant with hypnotic powers, his twin brother Darkstar, the insane pyrokinetic known as Pyro, the super-strong teenage green-skinned female powerhouse known as the She-Hulk, and the web-slinging wonder known as Spider-Man.

"Whoa!" Spider-Man ducked the streetlamp. With the trademark THWIP sound, Spider-Man caught the streetlamp by catching it with a web line, and then pulling it back to him. "Hey tall, webbed-eared, and ugly, here's your merchandise back! You forgot the receipt!" He used the web line to whip the streetlamp back at the Abomination, connecting with the big green monstrosity's head.

"And as a reward for your usage of our services, we'd like to give you a complimentary car!" Jenny added as she swung at the Abomination with a Buick. John, Paul, and Craig ran outside outside the battle, amazed looks on their faces while blasting the Abomination with purple lasers and flame when they could get clear shots.

"Wow!" John blinked. "That Spider-Guy is awesome!" He saw Spider-Man deftly dodge and maneuver out of the way of the Abomination's strikes. Craig watched the fight more carefully.

"Spider-Man and the She-Hulk are a lot more agile and faster than the Abomination. However, there's no way he can match them in power."

"Then let's give them a boost!" John grinned.

"Yeah!" Paul whooped. The two mutants raced deeper into the battle. Craig groaned.

_And what do you plan to do?_ Craig growled in Paul's mind.

_Simple.__ The Abomination may be powerful, but even a tank has chinks in his armor._ Paul replied with a mental smirk. "Hey Blonsky!" The Abomination turned around. "Get a good look!" Paul's right eye erupted in a flash of bright purple light.

"**_ARRRRRGH!_**" The Abomination screamed, covering his ears.

"That…was…_cool!_" Jenny grinned. "Paul, that was so awesome! I gotta learn how to do that!"

"**_I CAN'T FRIGGIN' SEE!_**" The Abomination screamed. The ground started to shake. "Hey what?"

"Yipe!" Spider-Man flipped backwards and clung to a wall. "Who turned on the local fault line?" Jenny turned and saw the source of the shaking: Lance Alvers, with Lila Cheney standing behind him.

"Everywhere we go, we have to deal with garbage like _this!_" Lance growled loudly. "First Miami and that psychotic nerdy metal-head wannabe Vincent James, now New York and this green jerk!"

"Grrrr…" The Abomination's sight started to return. He glared at Lance. "I don't know who you are, but I will kill you alongside the AW GOD!" His eyes got covered in slime. "WHAT IS THIS?" Todd leapt out of nowhere and hopped behind Lance, hi-fiving Lila.

"Uh…do I know anybody here?" Spider-Man scratched his head. Jenny looked at him and shrugged. The rest of the Brotherhood ran up. Pietro zipped around the Abomination.

"Ha ha _ha_ I am too fast for you, big, green, and ugly!" Pietro whooped. Using his mutant ability of superhuman speed, Pietro ran circles around the Abomination, laying in high-speed punches.

"I've heard of fast cars and fast women, but fast _teenagers?_" Spider-Man blinked underneath his mask.

"That's Pietro for you." Craig grumbled.

"Hey big boy!" Fred roared. With a yell, Fred charged the big monster, ready to punch him right in the mouth. Wanda fired a hexbolt at the Abomination, locking him into place.

"What's going on? I can't move!" The Abomination yelled. Wanda then fired another hexbolt at Fred. It caused his fist to glow a bright gold. Fred nailed the Abomination with the golden-glowing fist. The impact made a sound like a shotgun blast through a speaker. The Abomination was sent flying into a nearby tanker truck, which exploded on impact.

"One punch! One punch! One punch!" John whooped.

"Holy God…" Paul blinked. The Abomination jumped to his feet, covered in flames. He roared, but then passed out.

"Wow." Jennifer blinked. "That was cool."

**The hotel, an hour later**

The Brotherhood and Jennifer sat in the hotel, chatting and getting to know each other.

"Let me get this straight." Lance replayed. "You witnessed a mob hit, which is why you and your family were moved by the government."

"Uh-huh." Jenny nodded.

"But the mob found out, and tried to kill your family. You got shot and badly wounded." Wanda continued.

"Mm-hmm." Jenny nodded. "My cousin Bruce was around to help, though. He got angry that I was hurt. And you never want to make my cousin angry."

"Yeah, he turns into a big green guy." Fred blinked.

"The Hulk." Jennifer nodded. "He did the whole smashy-bashy thing, and calmed down. He realized that I need a blood transfusion. Since he and I were of the same type, he gave me his blood. And let's just say it freed the inner hottie within." Jenny grinned widely.

"Wow." John blinked. "Simply wow. It would explain the new look. But why the image inducer?"

"I hated that stupid thing." Jennifer grumbled. "It was given to me by…a friend. I'm not allowed to say anything else." They heard a thump. The kids turned and saw Spider-Man at the ledge.

"Thanks for the help!" He waved.

"No prob, yo." Todd grinned. "Man, we met Spider-Man. We rule."

"Ever thought about joining us?" Lance offered. Spidey shook his head.

"Sorry I can't join your little club, I have a city to protect. Power and responsibility and all that…" Spider-Man shot a web line and swung away.

"Nice fella." Wanda noted. "Bit goofy, though."

"Yeah, and that costume looks like an old man designed it for him in the Sixties." Pietro snickered.

"That Lance guy is kinda cute, in that rocker way." Jenny whispered to Paul.

"He's taken." Paul told her.

"Nuts." Jenny pouted. "The cute ones are always taken."

**Bayville Aquarium**

"Wow…" Principal Kelly had his hands on a railing. He was looking down at a tank decorated to look like the ocean bottom.

"Nice, huh?" An aquarium guide asked.

"Yeah, those fish look mean." Kelly noted.

"Yeah, those are piranha, straight from the Amazon River." The guide chuckled. "They can be ferocious little fish. A school of them can strip a man down to bones in around 45 seconds."

"Ouch." Kelly winced.

"Quite a harsh way to go." The guide agreed as he left. Kelly nodded and continued staring at the tank. He heard a scuffle.

"What?" A couple of drunken guys were scuffling nearby. In the fight, one of the guys pitched the other into Kelly, knocking him into the piranha tank. "AAAAAA! HELP ME! EVIL FISH! MAMA!"

**A street corner in Bayville**

Duncan Matthews was standing on a street corner, just hanging out. He saw a pretty girl looking around the road, getting ready to cross the street. Duncan smirked and walked towards the woman.

"Yes?" The woman asked.

"Allow me." Duncan smirked, holding out his arm. The woman smiled and took his arm. Duncan started to walk the woman down the street. "Hee hee, I'm in the money." Duncan snickered under his breath, but he didn't realize the woman could hear him. She slapped him across the face.

"You creep!" She snapped, leaving Duncan in the middle of the street.

"But but but but but AGH!" Duncan stammered, and then got hit by a semi.

Well, well, well! Looks like our heroes have made some new friends! What insanity will happen next? What further adventures will our heroes get into? What new characters will appear? Will Kelly and Duncan ever get a break? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	47. New Mission!

**The Starr Chronicles**

_To Aaron: Hey there, Aaron! Nice to hear from you again! I'm glad you liked seeing the Abomination vs. The Brotherhood, Spider-Man, and the She-Hulk. That was a fun battle to write. Actually, I didn't come up with Wanda hexing Fred's punch to increase his power. It was a tribute to Metal Dragoon. In his story "Take the Long Way Home", Fred and Wanda pull that tag-team move on Mystique when Coyote takes over as their house guardian and they decide that they'd rather live under him than Mystique. I'm going to concentrate more on the X-Men for the next couple chapters for the new storyline. I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Chiomon: Hey there, Chiomon! Nice to hear from you again! I'm glad you like the last chapter! Yeah, Spider-Man rocked in this chapter! I hope I did a good job with him. Well, the X-Men are going to be meeting someone new very soon! Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To todd fan: Hey there, todd fan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! I'm glad you liked seeing Kelly getting mauled by piranha and __Duncan__ getting hit by a truck. They're such jerks. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Slugs and Snails", "Random Tales of the Magic Roundabout", and "X-Men: Evolution, the Musical"!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there, Red Witch! Nice to hear from you again! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Wow. I guess I am that funny. Who would've thought, heh heh. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can't wait for new chapters of "Evolution XMJ"!_

_To Raliena: Hey there, Rae! Nice to hear from you again! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To RogueFanKC: Hey there, Rogue Fan! Yup, that's why Jenny went into hiding, to her chagrin. Jenny enjoys being a green-skinned super-chick. She doesn't care what people think of her looks, and guys are too busy drooling to notice. Jenny doesn't have a thing for Lance, she just thought he was cute. She did give a number to a Brotherhood member though. You'll never guess who. I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Enjoy the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "Holy rusted metal, Batman!" - Chris O'Donnell as Dick Grayson/Robin, Batman Forever**

Chapter 47: New Mission!

**The Xavier Institute**

Rahne Sinclair sighed as she walked to her room door. Through it, she could hear loud hard rock music blaring. She opened the door and found her roommate, Jubilation Lee, aka Jubilee, on her bed, playing air guitar with a tennis racket, loud rock music blasting from her stereo.

"Jubilee, will ye turn that racket down?" Rahne yelled. Jubilee didn't hear her. Rahne sighed. The Scottish mutant walked to Jubilee's stereo, and shut it off. The Chinese-American mutant stopped rocking out and narrowed her eyes at the red-haired Scot.

"Why'd you do that?"

"The others are complaining about the noise." Rahne explained. "Ye play that Kid Razor guy 24/7 on that stereo of yours."

"I can't help it." Jubilee smiled. "Kid Razor is the greatest rocker ever!"

"So you say…" Rahne noted, eyeing Jubilee's side of their room. Jubilee's side was covered in posters of the teenage rockstar, as well as clippings of him from Cleveland's newspaper.

"Yeah. He's so cool…" Jubilee sighed happily. "The hair…the guitars…the glittery bright glam costumes…the face paint…Oh God, he just ahs a talent for making me drool…"

"I…see…" Rahne blinked.

_X-Men, please report to the War Room._ The two girls heard Professor Xavier's telepathic summon.

"I wonder what Professor Xavier wants from us." Rahne wondered. Jubilee shrugged.

"Maybe he lost his head polish again." Jubilee quipped. The two walked into the War Room, accompanied by all the other students and instructors. "Hey Ms. Munroe, what's going on?"

"A new mutant must have emerged, Jubilation." Ororo replied. Professor Xavier wheeled up to the front of the room and looked at his students.

"Cerebro has recently discovered very large mutant population in Cleveland, Ohio." Xavier said to his students. At the mention of Cleveland, Jubilee perked up.

_Cleveland__? That's where Kid Razor lives! I could get to meet him at last!_ Jubilee mentally grinned as Xavier talked. She wasn't really interested in hearing what the professor was saying at that moment. She just wanted a trip to Cleveland, and hopefully get to see Kid Razor in person. _I've **got** to get in on this mission!_

"I would like some of you to investigate the possibility of a mutant community in Cleveland." Xavier said. "Storm, I'd like you to lead a small group of X-Men and find out if there's any truth to those rumors." The weather controller stood up.

"I'd like Cyclops, Jean, and Cannonball to come with me." Storm chose. "Scott, Jean, and Sam are great representatives. I think we may be able to get some new students here with their help if the rumors are true." Ororo noticed Jubilee waving her hands, bouncing up and down in her seat. "Yes, Jubilee?"

"I'd like to come. I could help out." Jubilee offered.

"I'm sorry, Jubilee." Ororo shook her head. "But you're not quite ready for this kind of thing. If something goes wrong…"

"I can take care of myself, you know." Jubilee grumbled.

"You're a lot like that loudmouthed kid from Cleveland you admire." Logan rolled his eyes.

"Jubilee, we're not going to Cleveland just so you can meet some rock musician you have a crush on." Ororo insisted. The wheels in the firecracker's head quickly turned.

"Kid Razor is not just a rock musician, Ms. Munroe." Jubilee quickly remembered. "He's also their resident superhero. He protects the city from evil. I have a whole bunch of newspaper clippings of him."

"You just can't stop staring at his pretty face." Bobby snickered. Jubilee glared at the ice-maker.

"You. Quiet!" She snapped.

"Hoo hoo, I get no respect." Bobby grumbled, impersonating the late comedian Rodney Dangerfield.

"Anyway, not much is known about Kid Razor." Jubilee continued. "No one knows who he is under his face paint. And no one knows where his powers came from. A lot of mystery surrounds Kid Razor. He could possibly be mutant himself."

"I must admit, Ms. Lee…" Xavier smiled. "You certainly do have a point. Storm, maybe we could find a possible recruit in Kid Razor."

"But if this Kid Razor guy _is_ a mutant, then how come Cerebro hasn't detected him?" Scott asked.

"Perhaps Kid Razor's powers shield him from detection by Cerebro." Xavier surmised. "It looks like we have another mystery on our hands."

"We'll try to keep an eye out for him, Professor." Ororo nodded.

"I'll come, too!" Jubilee exclaimed.

"Hold it, Firecracker. You ain't ready." Logan said, taking her arm.

"But Mr. Logan!" Jubilee whined. "They need me! I know more about Kid Razor than anyone else here!"

"Ye play his music very loud at all hours." Rahne groaned. "It drives me mad!"

"You also want to be Mrs. Kid Razor." Bobby teased. He got hi-fives from Ray and Roberto. Jubilee's face turned bright red.

"Look shorty, you ain't ready for missions yet." Logan told her.

"Do not fear, Jubilee." Ororo chuckled. "If we see this Kid Razor in Cleveland, I will see if I can get him an autograph for you."

**Bayville Arboretum**

A class in Bayville High was being taken out on a field trip to the Arboretum. One of those students was Duncan Matthews.

_God, this is **boring**…_ Duncan mentally moaned. _Nothing here but plants and flowers.__ Geez, these things are all the same to me._ He noticed the rest of the class walk away. Duncan moved to follow. _Hey, those cacti sound cool. Maybe I can get one. Don't need to water them much._ He walked onto a puddle and slipped on it. "YIPE!" He caused a tray of cacti to fly into the air. Duncan landed on his back. "OW!" He opened his eyes and found cacti raining on him. "HEY OW OOH!" A big one landed on his groin. "**_YEEEEEEEEEOWWWWWWW!_**"

**Bayville High**

Principal Kelly walked out to the parking lot toward his car. He had forgotten something and he went to his car and went out to pick it up.

"Principal Kelly, look out!" A student yelled. Kelly turned and saw a bus come toward him, trying to stop. The bus hit a screaming Kelly, knocking him down to the ground.

"Oh, geez!" The bus driver exclaimed. He leaned his head out the window. "I'm sorry, Principal!" He apologized to Kelly, who was getting to his feet. "This is an old bus! It has its troubles sometimes."

"Really?" Kelly grumbled.

"Yeah." The driver replied. "The buses need more funding so we can get some decent repairs on these things." He heard a clunking from the engine. "Oh God no, please don't clunk out on me again!" He begged the engine.

"I'll take a look." Kelly offered. "Pop the hood." The bus driver did so. Kelly raised the hood…**_KABLAM!_** The bus's engine exploded in Kelly's face. "OWWWWWWWW!"

Well, well, well! Looks like the X-Men have themselves a new mission! What insanity will happen next? How will the X-Men and Kid Razor react to meeting? Will Kelly and Duncan ever get a break? Where are the Brotherhood in all of this? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	48. Plotting!

**The Starr Chronicles**

_To Chiomon: Hey there, Chiomon! Nice to hear from you again! Glad you liked the last chapter! Yep, the X-Men are going to meet Kid "Rock 'n' Roll" Razor. It is going to be fun and wild, baby! Will there be a concert? Who knows. And the Superstars are in __New York__ right now. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there, Red Witch! Nice to hear from you again! Well, what do you expect? Stopping Jubilee from trying to see Kid Razor is like trying to stop a Deadhead from going on tour with the Dead: They can't be stopped. Jubes will go to Cleveland, one way or another. I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Evolution XMJ"._

_To RogueFanKC: Hey there, Rogue Fan! Nice to hear from you again! Yeah, it's pretty obvious why Jubilee wants to see __Cleveland__. She's after a certain superpowered rockstar. Actually, the Brotherhood aren't going to hit __Cleveland__. Actually, they're still in __New York__ right now. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait to read more from you!_

_To Sparky Genocide: Hey there, Sparky! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! The Brotherhood play some pranks on J. Jonah Jameson because he said some trash about the Brotherhood, Spider-Man, and the She-Hulk? I like that idea. In fact, I think I just got some inspiration…Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Aaron: Hey there, Aaron! Nice to hear from you again! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, the X-Men are hitting __Cleveland__Ohio__, home of the Gund Arena, the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame, and Kid Razor. Oh, you **bet** that Kid Razor is going to raze on the X-Men. As for the community, if you read any of my Kid Razor fics, you should know about the mutant community. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Raliena: Hey there, Rae! Nice to hear from you again! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To todd fan: Hey there, todd fan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, Kelly and Duncan torture is such fun! I love tormenting those guys. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Slugs and Snails", "X-Men: Evolution, the Musical", and "Random Tales of the Magic Roundabout"!_

**Disclaimer: "This is the stupidest thing I have ever seen." - Me**

Chapter 48: Plotting!

**The Brotherhood's hotel suite, New York City**

"Ahh…" Lance Alvers smiled as he reclined back on the big white couch. The Brotherhood, after helping the Sensational She-Hulk and the Amazing Spider-Man take down the gamma-powered man-monster known as the Abomination, decided to take advantage of the hotel suite Lila got them (with Pietro's credit card that was entrusted to him by his father Magneto) and take some time off. Lance was in a relaxed mood right now. Fred had taken Wanda and Pietro to go get some McDonalds. Paul, Craig, and John were out getting a tour of New York, the She-Hulk personally guiding them. Toad was sitting in a chair quietly. He was typing an e-mail to Althea in Miami.

"This is the life, yo." Todd told the geo-kinetic.

"Oh yeah…" Lance agreed. "But what'll happen if Mags gets the bill?" Todd shrugged.

"Like I care. It's Pietro's neck he's going to wring." Todd chuckled.

"Point." Lance shrugged. He put on a pair of headphones and turned on a CD player he had with him. "_I'm back, back in the __New York__ Groove…_"

_Yo__, I knew there was reason why they decided to have Paul sing for the Superstars._ Todd mentally snickered. He heard a door slam.

"I…hate…J. Jonah Jameson." Jennifer Walters snarled as she walked into the room. Alongside her were Paul, Craig, and John. In her hand, she was clenching a newspaper. "If I ever see that flat-topped, Hitler-moustached son of a gun ever again, his body is going to be missing his **head!**" Jenny ranted and raved.

"Who's J. Jonah Jameson?" Lance wondered, removing his headphones.

"He's the editor of the Daily Bugle." Craig grumbled.

"Yeah." John nodded. "He's the guy who goes on about Spider-Man being a menace."

"Spider-Man didn't seem like no menace to me, yo." Todd blinked.

"Look at this headline!" Jenny grumbled, giving the copy of the Daily Bugle she was clenching in her hand to Lance. The brown-mulleted geokinetic read the headline: TEENAGE SUPERHEROES OR WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION? Lance narrowed his eyes at the headline.

"He's a dead man…" Lance growled.

"Easy, Lance." Paul tried to calm Lance down. "You don't want to bring this place down."

"Jennifer…" Todd said to the green-skinned teen girl. "We have a saying in the Brotherhood: Don't get mad…get even." Jenny raised a green eyebrow.

"I'm listening…"

**The Daily Bugle offices**

A woman sat at the desk in front of Jameson's office, filing her nails. She was dressed in a yellow blouse and a black skirt. She had short brown hair and brown eyes. Her nameplate on her desk read "Betty Brant". She noticed Lance and Todd dressed in janitor's uniforms wheeling a cleaning cart towards Jameson's office.

"Who are you, and what're you doing here?" Betty Brant asked suspiciously. Lance and Todd blinked.

"We're here to clean up the boss's office. He leaves it in such an awful mess." Lance answered coolly. Betty eyed the two for a few seconds.

"Okay." She shrugged, going back to filing her nails. "Make it quick, though. Mr. Jameson comes back at 3."

"Don't worry, ma'am. We'll go so fast, you'll wonder if we were ever here." Todd chuckled. The two boys wheeled the cart into the office and closed the door.

"Time to go to work." Lance smirked as he looked around Jameson's office.

**The X-Jet**

The X-Jet streaked through the sky, on its way to Cleveland. Storm was flying the jet. With her was Cyclops, Cannonball, and Jean. They were also accompanied by Nightcrawler and Shadowcat.

"Why did we bring Kurt and Kitty again?" Scott asked Jean.

"They wanted to help." Jean replied. "Besides, if anything happens, Kitty can provide a great defense, and Kurt can get us out of trouble quickly."

"Something _always_ seems to happen whenever we go somewhere." Scott groaned. "At least we won't have to worry about the Brotherhood screwing things up for us."

"Like, I wonder where they went, anyway?" Kitty wondered. "We haven't seen them much lately."

"Perhaps the Brotherhood are gallivanting through space." Ororo suggested. "After all, they do have an interstellar teleporter in their ranks now."

"At least she's not being…forward…with me." Sam shuddered.

_Now I'm really worried._ Scott thought. _With Lila Cheney, hey can go anywhere in the world they want to. Which means that they can cause trouble anywhere they want to, and recruit mutants faster than we can. They got too much of an advantage._

**J. Jonah Jameson's office**

Lance and Todd wheeled their cart out of J. Jonah Jameson's office.

"How was it?" Betty Brant asked the two boys.

"I think Mr. Jameson will be very impressed." Todd smirked.

**Bayville ****Park**

"Go away, kid!" Duncan Matthews yelled. He was walking down a path in the park, and he was being followed by a little kid with freckles, glasses, and dressed like Dennis the Menace.

"Why?" The kid asked.

"Because I want to be alone!" Duncan screamed.

"Why?"

"Because you're annoying!" Duncan howled. _If he says that one more time, I will kill him._

"Why?" The kid asked sweetly.

"THAT'S IT!" Duncan yelled. He whipped around, and started strangling the kid, cursing him out.

"EEEEEEK!" A female witness screamed. "That bully is strangling that poor kid!"

"What?" Duncan blinked incredulously. "AGH!" A couple cops ran to the scene and started beating down on the jock with their batons. "HEY! OW! HELP ME! MAMA! OW! STOP! HEY! **OH THE HUMANITYYYYYYYY!**"

**Bayville Post Office**

Principal Kelly walked into the post office, so he could get his mail. He went over to a wall of small lockers. He used the combination lock built into the door of his little locker to unlock it. He opened his locker and pulled out his mail.

"Bill…bill…bill…huh?" He noticed a yellow envelope that had "OPEN THIS" written on it. "This is odd…" He opened the letter, and… "AAAAAAARGH!" A pack of wild dogs leapt out of the envelope and started mauling the principal. "OW! HEY! HELP! STOP! MOMMY! OW! THAT HURTS! AUGH!"

Well, well, well! Looks like the Brotherhood and the X-Men both have missions! What insanity will happen next? What'll the X-Men find in Cleveland? What did Lance and Todd do to Jameson's office? Can Duncan and Kelly go a day without getting into trouble? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	49. Arrival!

**The Starr Chronicles**

_To Chiomon: Hey there, Chiomon! Nice to hear from you again! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Actually, in the latest She-Hulk comic, Spidey did sue JJJ, but they ended up settling. I thought it would be funny to see the Brotherhood redecorate Jameson's office as only they can, heh heh. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Sparky Genocide: Hey there, Sparky! Nice to hear from you again! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! I was glad to use your idea! It was too funny to pass up! And it did inspire me a lot. Now let's see…Jameson walks into his office, and finds it trashed, with toilet paper and graffiti, and of course, ol' Flat-Top blows his stack. I like that idea, and I think that's how he'd react anyway._

_To Aaron: Hey there, Aaron! Nice to hear from you again! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Yep, the Brotherhood has struck again. You'll see what Lance and Todd did to J. Jonah Jameson's office in this chapter, man. You know Scott, he's always worrying about the Brotherhood. As for the Cosmic Axe, I think Toad doesn't want the Brotherhood to become dependent on the Axe. I think that Axe has given him something besides powers when he holds it, if you know what I mean. I don't plan to have the Brotherhood in __Cleveland__. Besides, Kid Razor is going to make Scott **wish** the Brotherhood were there. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Raliena: Hey there, Rae! Nice to hear from you again! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Are Kelly and Duncan victims of bad karma? Maybe. I dunno. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To RogueFanKC: Hey there, Rogue Fan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! I read your new story "Apokolips Deferred" and I loved it! Looks like Live Wire is going to be a Female Fury, whether she likes it or not. Yeah, the Brotherhood have an awesome motto, and Jameson will blow his stack. Don't worry about it. Scott's got issues. What can I say? Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Apokolips Deferred"!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there, Red Witch! Nice to hear from you again! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! I read the new chapter of "Evolution XMJ" and I loved it! More mutants than you can shake a stick at! Don't worry, you'll get to see what the Brotherhood did to Jameson's office. I don't plan to have the Brotherhood in __Cleveland__. The X-Men will meet someone there who will be a lot more annoying than the Brotherhood. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Evolution XMJ" and "Cry Havok"!_

_To todd fan: Hey there, todd fan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Yup, nothing like an envelope full of attack dogs to put some spring in your step. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Slugs and Snails" and "Random Tales of The Magic Roundabout"!_

**Disclaimer: "I am the Excellence of Execution!" - Bret "The Hitman" Hart**

Chapter 49: Arrival!

**The Daily Bugle offices, New York City**

A man with black hair in a flat-top and graying temples with a Hitler mustache walked into the offices, wearing a trenchcoat and hat over a suit, and smoking a cigar. His name was J. Jonah Jameson, and he was the chief editor of the Daily Bugle. He also happened to be a major detractor of Spider-Man. Betty Brant noticed him walking toward his office.

"Welcome back, Mr. Jameson." Betty smiled sweetly, filing her nails.

"Yeah, yeah." Jameson replied.

"A couple janitors cleaned up your office for you." Betty told the editor.

"Good for them." Jameson grumbled as he entered his office. He walked in, and his eyes widened and his jaw dropped, causing his cigar to fall out of his mouth. His office was horrible. The floor was a mess, with papers, shattered items, and other stuff all over, the walls were painted lime green with pink stripes, all the furniture was nailed to the ceiling, and in the center of the room…there was a small statue of Spider-Man. The statue was of Spidey razzing, and a note was around its neck:

SPIDEY AND THE BROTHERHOOD RULES, JAMESON DROOLS!

The editor bared his teeth as he growled in rage. His face turned bright red, and steam escaped his ears, making a sound like a kettle boiling over.

"THOSE LITTLE SUPERPOWERED MOTHER-!" He started to yell out. A steamboat's whistle was heard outside, cutting off the rest of his screaming. "AHHH!" He realized the cigarette he dropped had just set his foot on fire. "DAH! MY FOOT! GEEZ! GOOD GOD!" He started leaping about on one foot. "HELP ME!"

**Cleveland, ****Ohio**

The X-Jet landed in the middle of the city park. Storm activated a device in the X-Jet that was similar to Kurt's image inducer, making the jet seemingly disappear. Ororo, Scott, Jean, Sam, Kurt, and Kitty walked out of the jet. They looked like people who were walking on stairs made of air who were walking out of a portal that appeared out of nowhere.

"So this is Cleveland. Kind of…nice." Jean smiled. She saw two kids staring at the six mutants. They blinked for a minute, then shrugged and walked away.

"Man, that was weird." One of the kids said.

"Jimmy, you haven't been here long, have you?" The other kid snickered. "You obviously have no idea what really happens all the time here in Cleveland, do you?"

"Looks like the kids here are really used to seeing some strange stuff." Sam blinked.

"Ja." Kurt agreed with a nod. Suddenly, they saw a couple metalheads run by.

"Look!" One metalhead pointed up into the sky. The metalheads and the mutants looked up. They saw a streak of rainbow-colored light race across the sky.

"What is _that?_" Ororo wondered.

"That's Kid Razor up there, lady!" One metalhead grinned. "He rocks! He's not like all those other heroes in New York! They suck!"

"Yeah!" The other metalhead agreed. They raced off in the direction of the streak. The X-Men all looked at each other, incredibly confused.

"What kind of city did we end up in?" Jean wondered.

"Maybe we should, like, follow the metalheads." Kitty suggested.

"Vhy not?" Kurt shrugged. "Maybe ve'll get to see ze Rock 'n' Roll hall of Fame while ve're here." The X-Men followed the metalheads. They went to an arcade, where they found an unusual-looking character. He wore black sunglasses, and he appeared to be dressed as a wizard: blue robes with golden stars and a pointy blue hat with golden stars on it. He also was holding a golden rod with a glowing tip shaped like a pinball bumper. "Vho's that?" Kurt asked the others. The metalheads overheard.

"The punk calls himself the Pinball Wizard." One of the metalheads answered.

"Yeah. They say he was some pinball-obsessed weapons designer who went nuts." The other metalhead added. He noticed the costumes. "You guys superheroes or something?"

"…kind of. Why?" Scott blinked. The metalheads smirked.

"Kid Razor is not exactly…thought of…as a…welcome…addition among the superhero community." One of the metalheads smirked. While they were talking, the Pinball Wizard was cackling, firing what appeared to be explosive metal balls everywhere from the sleeves of his robes.

"Whoo yeah!" The Pinball Wizard whooped. "All those who thought of me as a joke shall learn of the might of the Ultimate Game Magician, the Pinball Wizard! And this arcade shall learn of the joys of pinball…or suffer!" The Pinball Wizard fired a pinball at the arcade machine, making it explode.

"X-Men…" Scott sighed. "We'd better get ready to take this guy down gently."

"X-Men?" The metalheads scratched their heads. A guitar riff was suddenly heard. The metalheads and the X-Men looked up and saw a figure, covered in a rainbow-colored energy field, float down toward them.

"Well, well, well." The figure smirked. "The Kid of Rock says that that pinhead Pinball Wizard is at it again." The figure appeared to be a teenaged boy, around 17. He had long blond hair which looked like a lion's mane. His boyish face was decorated with red Ultimate Warrior-esque face paint with patches of black-and-white checkerboard. His muscular, yet sleek frame was covered by a black Iron Maiden t-shirt and a pair of long red wrestling tights decorated with black-and-white razor blades. He wore white wrestling-style boots with black-and-red fringe. His hands and wrists were decorated by a pair of red wristcuffs with red fringe and a black-and-white razor blade on each one. His costume was completed by a red sleeveless leather jacket with patches of black-and-white checkerboard at the shoulders. He also was holding a red Gretsch guitar with a black-and-white checkerboard pickguard. The kid smirked at the whooping metalheads and the X-Men.

"Kid Razor, I presume?" Storm asked.

**Cleveland ****City ****Park**

In the park, the X-Jet started shaking wildly. A hatch burst wide open and a blur raced out at incredible speed.

**Bayville High Gymnasium**

"Come on, Matthews! You can do it!" The kids and the gym coach cheered. Duncan was climbing the hanging rope.

"Oh yeah, baby!" Duncan whooped. "I rock!" Duncan reached the top and touched the ceiling.

"You still got the record, Matthews. Nice work." The gym coach nodded with a smile at Duncan.

"No problem, Coach." Duncan grinned. He heard a snap. "Huh?" He noticed the rope had snapped. "Uh oh. WAHHHHHH!" In front of a shocked student body, Duncan fell all the way down to the ground, hitting the ground face first with a THUD! "OW! Ohhhh…" The students and the coach heard barking. "Oh no, not again…" Duncan moaned. A group of wild dogs ran in and started mauling Duncan. "AHHHHHHH! HELP ME! OW! CALL A DOCTOR! OW! MAMA! NOT THE FACE!"

**Principal Kelly's Office**

Principal Kelly put a dollar into his private vending machine. He was looking to have a soda.

"Let's see…" Kelly looked at the choices. He grinned. "Ooh! This one is nice." He pressed a button. He heard whirring and clicking from within the machine. No soda came out. "What?" Kelly went down to one knee and looked at the slot. "That's strange." He then did something very unwise: He stuck his hand in the machine to get his soda, muttering. "Stupid machine…" He muttered as he moved his arm further and further into the machine. Whirring and clicking was heard from within the machine, and Kelly's eyes widened. "AHHHHHHHHH!" He started jerking around. "HELP ME! GET ME OUT! MY ARM IS STUCK! HELP ME! MOMMY!"

Well, well, well! Looks like the X-Men have just met another costumed hero! What insanity will happen next? Who is this hero? How will he get along with the X-Men? Is there a mutant community in Cleveland? Will Kelly and Duncan ever get a break? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	50. Of Mutants and Rockstars!

**The Starr Chronicles**

_To Raliena: Hey there, Rae! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! You'll see what's next! Enjoy the new chapter! _

_To Sparky Genocide: Hey there, Sparky Genocide! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! I'm glad you liked that scene with J. Jonah Jameson's office. I thought that would be funny. __Duncan__ getting attacked by a mob of spider monkeys?__ I like that idea. Thanks! Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Chiomon: Hey there, Chiomon! Nice to hear from you again! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Well, to be fair, in the comics, JJ used the Daily Bugle to promote civil rights and to condemn organized crime. It's true! However, the Bugle's claim to fame is trashing Spidey. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To RogueFanKC: Hey there, Rogue Fan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Dude, am I that predictable? Well, JJ is not quite as torturable as Duncan or Kelly. Jameson has used the Bugle to support some good stuff in the comics. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can't wait for a new chapter of "Apokolips Deferred"!_

_To todd fan: Hey there, todd fan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! JJ's funny. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Slugs and Snails" and "Random Tales of the Magic Roundabout"!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there, Red Witch! Nice to hear from you again! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! I read the new chapter of "Evolution XMJ" and I loved it! No surprise that the Hellfire Club is up to something! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Evolution XMJ" and "Cry Havok!"_

**Disclaimer: "I'd rather choose death."**

Chapter 50: Of Mutants and Rockstars!

**New York City**

Lance and Todd wheeled their cart back into where they had found it. It turns out that the two boys had borrowed a real janitor's cart, and loaded their tools of the trade on it.

"That was a fun little prank, Mr. Tolensky." Lance said to the amphibian-like mutant in an even voice with a smirk.

"Oh yes. Quite enjoyable indeed, Mr. Alvers." Todd agreed in the same kind of voice. A janitor peeked around a corner.

"BABY!" He squealed, jumping on his cart. He started hugging the cart with a big grin on his face. "I'm sorry I left you alone for that agonizing half-hour! I missed you so much! I know you missed me! I promise you, I will never leave you on your own again!" The janitor hummed happily. Todd and Lance watched this with 'This-guy-is-on-drugs' looks on their faces.

"That's not right. That's…really not right." Lance shook his head.

"No kidding, yo." Todd agreed. "And I thought you pining over Kitty was pathetic."

"HEY!"

**Cleveland, ****Ohio**

"Kid Razor, I presume?" Storm asked. The young man removed his red sunglasses with the rectangular frames and black-and-white checkerboard lenses, and hung them on the front of his shirt. The face of the superpowered teenage rock guitarist formed a cocky smirk. The rainbow-colored energy field that surrounded Razor's body still was sheathed around him like a multi-colored aura.

"Kid 'Rock 'n' Roll' Razor is the name, babe. Rock 'n' Roll is the game." Razor smirked. He looked Storm over. "Has anyone ever told you that you resemble Tina Turner, babe?"

"Oh my God, man! It's Kid Razor! We're seeing him up close! This is awesome, dude!" One of the metalheads said to the other, with a big grin on his face. The other metalhead looked at Storm.

"Yeah, Razor's got a point! From this angle, you _do_ look a little like Tina Turner, lady." The second metalhead grinned. Storm rolled her eyes.

"Oh brother…"

"Aw, no! Not him!" The Pinball Wizard moaned.

"Well, the Pinball Wizard is at it again." Razor smirked. "What's the story, you psycho Roger Daltrey-wannabe?"

"Go away, Kid Razor! I'm trying to promote the joys of pinball here!" The Pinball Wizard snapped. Razor groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance.

"It may just be the Kid of Rock, but the Kid of Rock thinks that you have issues. You got major troubles when it comes to pinball, pal."

"Does he _alvays_ refer to himself in ze third person?" Kurt whispered to Sam. The human cannonball shrugged.

"You got me." Sam shrugged. "I don't really know Razor that well."

"Like, he's really weird." Kitty blinked. "That outfit is like, so totally out of style, for sure!" Kid Razor's superhuman hearing allowed him to pick up the remark. Razor turned to Kitty and smirked at her.

"Really? The Kid of Rock's out of style?" Razor smirked.

"Oh God." The Pinball Wizard groaned in frustration. He sat down on the ground, pulled out a book from his robes, and began to read. "Good thing I brought a book with me. My horoscope told me that I was going to need it." Razor crossed his arms and smirked at the brown-haired mutant girl.

"You think the Kid of Rock is out of style?" Razor smirked at Kitty. "To be honest…coming from a Valley Girl-wannabe like you…the Kid of Rock considers it a huge compliment. I never cared what the fashionistas think of the Kid of Rock, anyway."

"Jean, let's get a peek inside his mind." Scott whispered to the redhead. The telepath nodded and tried to get inside the blond super-rocker's head.

"Uhn…" Jean grunted. She tried to enter Razor's mind, but… "I got Bon Jovi now running in my head!" Razor noticed and smirked.

"Ah, the forcefield, Red." Razor smirked. "Sorry, babe. My forcefield says, 'No Entry Allowed'."

"We did not come here to fight you, Kid Razor." Storm said. Razor raised an eyebrow at Storm.

"The Kid of Rock wishes to shag you, so he'll let you speak." Razor pointed at Storm like a king pointing at a peasant.

"Man, this guy is arrogant." Scott groaned.

"You're telling me." The Pinball Wizard piped up. "Man punked out the Fantastic Four. He once called Reed Richards a joke."

"We came to investigate rumors of a mutant community in Cleveland. We are the X-Men."

"X-Men?" Razor crossed his arms. He sneered at the mutants. "The Kid of Rock is not impressed. More super-clowns from New York. Just what the Kid of Rock needs." He sneered at Scott. "What's with him? Never seen a rockstar before?"

"Uhm…well…" Scott started.

"Shut up!" Razor snapped at Scott. "Kid of Rock sees or hears you talking again, the Kid of Rock will smack you like a red-headed stepchild!" He quickly turned to Jean. "No offense. But first…" Razor looked at the Pinball Wizard. He plucked a string on his guitar and fired a rainbow-colored blast of energy at the mad pinball freak.

"WAH!" The Pinball Wizard screamed as the beam hit him in the face, knocking him into a wall, and into next year. "Mommy, I wanna go back to bed…"

"That dealt with that idiot…" Razor muttered. He turned to the X-Men. "Mutant community. No mutant communities in Cleveland…there is a district."

"A _district?_" Storm's jaw dropped.

"Yeah. Cleveland's known about mutants for some time." Razor shrugged nonchalantly. "The Yeager District. We call it Little Mutant-Town. It's kinda like Chinatown."

"A district? A _district?_" Jean asked in shock. Razor shrugged.

"Yeah. Doesn't every city have a Yeager District?" Razor grinned. "If you X-Men are so interested, come on. I'll show you." Razor got ready to take to the air again. "Follow the Kid of Ro-AIE!" The blur that earlier escaped from the X-Jet slammed hard into Razor.

"IloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyou**Iloveyou!**" Jubilation Lee squealed as she glomped tightly onto Kid Razor **(A/N: Sorry Metal Dragoon! This part was too funny _not_ to borrow)**.

"Who are you?" Razor blinked.

"JUBILEE!" Scott groaned. "I should've known!"

"Jubilee?" Razor blinked. He looked down at the dark-haired girl clamped on to him. "Hey! You're the loony who sends the Kid of Rock all those letters!"

"You _got_ them?" Jubilee asked with a wide grin. Razor rolled his eyes.

"One of yours?" Razor quipped at the X-Men.

"Ha ha! You suck, Razor!" A blue-haired man in jeans and a white "Everyone sucks but me" shirt yelled at Razor from a sidewalk. The Kid of Rock glared at the man.

"Shut up Larry! No one likes you!" Razor snapped. Jubilee blasted him with fireworks.

**Bayville Pet Store**

Duncan walked into the pet store, a little nervous. Last time he went to a pet store, the animals attacked him. He noticed a display.

"Spider monkeys. Cool." Duncan grinned. "I just may get one." An employee walked up to the jock.

"Can I help you, sir?" The employee asked. Duncan smirked.

"Yeah, I want to buy some feeder rats for my snake." Duncan replied.

"Right this way." The employee helped Duncan find some rats. Duncan bought one, considering snakes didn't need to eat that often.

"Thanks a lot." Duncan thanked. He was just about to leave, when… "ARGH!" He got attacked by a bunch of spider monkeys that somehow escaped from their cage. "HELP ME! BAD MONKEYS! OW HELP ME MOMMY! OW! MAMA!"

**Downtown Bayville**

Principal Kelly was standing on a sidewalk in front of a marked crossing area, reading a newspaper. He was extremely engrossed in reading the news events. He glanced up at the crossing light. It turned green, indicating that it was safe to cross. Kelly put his head back into his paper, and started to cross the street. However, he really should've watched where he was going.

"Hey, pork prices have gone up…" Kelly mumbled. Since he wasn't watching where he was going, he walked towards an open manhole. With a scream, the hapless principal fell in. "How did I get here?" He exclaimed. He then heard noises. Growling noises. "What the…? Are those…crocodiles? Hey! Wait! What the-! Down! Nice crocs!" Thrashing was suddenly heard. "AAAAAAAGH! OW! MOMMY! HELP!"

Well, well, well! Looks like the X-Men got quite a surprise! What insanity will happen next? What'll happen at the Yeager District? Who else will the X-Men meet? And will Kid Razor make Cyclops look like an idiot? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	51. Stuck on You!

**The Starr Chronicles**

_To RogueFanKC: Hey there, Rogue Fan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, ol' Jubilee has poor ol' Kid Razor stuck in her unbreakable grip. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Apokolips Deferred"!_

_To Sparky Genocide: Hey there, Sparky Genocide! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Let me see, Kelly gets kidnapped by bikers and escapes with a bridal veil over his head? I LIKE IT! Thanks! That's an **awesome** idea! I'll use it! Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Chiomon: Hey there, Chiomon! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! I'm glad you like Kid Razor. He's one of my favorite creations. Yeah, he always has to keep an eye out for Jubilee. She'll come out of nowhere to get him. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Aaron: Hey there, Aaron! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! I thought that the prank that Lance and Todd pulled on Jamson would be good for some laughs. I thought it would give the X-Men a good shocking if they learned that __Cleveland__ didn't not only **mind** mutants, the city had an actual **district** full of them! And of **course** Jubilee had to come! She wouldn't let hail, sleet, or snow deny her a chance to get her paws on Razor **(Jubilee: He's mine! All mine! You can't have him! Mine mine mine!)**. Enjoy the new chapter! _

_To todd fan: Hey there, todd fan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Spider monkeys are a lot of fun. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait to read new chapters of "Slugs and Snails" and "Random Tales of the Magic Roundabout"!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there, Red Witch! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Larry the Superhero Heckler is from the Yeager District himself. I came up with the Yeager District's name on a whim and as a bit of a tribute to Chuck Yeager, the first American pilot to break the sound barrier. Don't worry, there will be more Duncan and Kelly torture! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can't wait for new chapters of "Evolution XMJ"!_

_To Raliena: Hey there, Rae! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Here's what's next! Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Metal Dragoon: Hey there, Metal Dragoon! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! I love your fics. I pay tributes to movies and shows I like in the same way, I inject a reference. Feel free to use any lines and situations I come up with! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Take the Long Way Home"!_

**Disclaimer: "Next time, you should really consider wearing helmets." - ****Arnold**** Schwarzenegger as Julius Benedict, Twins. Winters belongs to Red Witch. Hope she don't mind. Mags needs a butler.**

Chapter 51: Stuck on You!

**Magneto's Base**

Magneto, the Master of Magnetism, was sitting in his office, and he was looking at an envelope.

"Hmmm…" Magneto said to himself. "Credit card bill seems a little thick. All I bought this month was that nice grandfather clock." He opened the envelop and unfolded the bill. It was so long, it fell right to the floor outside the office. The magnetic mutant's eyes widened. "WHAT THE-? WINTERS!" Winters, Magneto's mutant butler, possessing a brain like a computer, walked in.

"You screamed, sir?"

"LOOK AT THIS BILL!" Magneto roared, holding out the bill. Winters looked at it. "I WANT THE ACOLYTES IN HERE NOW!"

"Sir, that appears to be from the card you gave your son." Winters said flatly. Magneto blinked.

"Oh." He realized. "I thought it was the Acolytes messing around with eBay again. Well, find Pietro! I want to talk to him!"

"Very good, sir. Oh yes, and a mutant has just come to light in Miami. His powers should be very beneficial to your cause." Magneto grinned widely when he heard that.

"Alright! We're goin' recruiting! YEE-HAW!"

**The Yeager District, ****Cleveland**

The Yeager District. Aka Little Mutant-town. Actually, it was a misnomer. Not all of the Yeager District's population were mutants. Around one-third of the Yeager District's population were regular humans. And they were in for a bad day. One person stood on a building, looking down at the street, seeing various humans and mutants of all shapes, sizes, and abilities gathering around and going about their normal business.

"Hmmph…" The man snorted. "Those people don't know what it's like. What it's like to be thought of as a joke." He was clad in a khaki safari-type outfit. The hat, which covered his short red hair, had a tiger-print band. His belt had several brightly-colored feathers clipped to one side. The other side had long rags of white tiger-print tied to them. The man wore green shades and had a handle-bar moustache. "They don't know what it's like to be laughed at all the time. But they'll know! They'll learn never to laugh at…the Zookeeper! BWA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Hey shut up!" A tenant in the building yelled.

**Elsewhere in ****Cleveland**

"Okay!" Jean said. "I got her legs." She was working on a predicament. The X-Men had just encountered the Fearless Kid Razor, a super-powered rock musician and local superhero. As it turned out, the energy-blasting New Mutant known as Jubilee had not only known about Kid Razor, she was his biggest fan and she had a Texas-sized crush on him. She had stowed away and grabbed Razor in a bearhug.

"This had better work." Razor grumbled, running his hand through his mane of blond hair.

"Just grab the post." Jean ordered while trying to hold on to the legs of a struggling and kicking Jubilee. Razor grabbed on to a lamppost and held tight.

"Let me go!" Jubilee yelled. "I want my Razor!"

"Now!" Jean yelled. She pulled on Jubilee's legs, while Razor tightened his grip on the lamppost. It caused his legs to be hoisted in the air, turning Razor and Jubilee into a human clothesline.

"No!" Jubilee screamed. "I won't let go! I want to be with Razor forever and ever!"

"Geez! What is she, part Krazy Glue?" Razor muttered.

"Get her fingers!" Scott yelled. He, Kurt, and Sam moved to pry Jubilee's fingers apart.

"I love you, Razor! I won't let them take us apart!" Jubilee screamed.

"Lucky me. Glad to see you're so devoted." Razor rolled his eyes.

"Will you _stop_ encouraging her?" Scott snapped.

"Kiss my Ohio butt, buddy!" Razor snapped back.

"I'll go get a crowbar." Ororo sighed as she walked into a nearby hardware store.

"Let go of him, Jubilee!" Jean snapped.

"Never!" Jubilee howled. "You can't have him! He's mine, all mine!"

"Man, this is like trying to pry a bear trap open!" Sam grumbled as he pulled on Jubilee's fingers.

"Let go of me!" Jubilee yelled, tightening her grip on Razor.

"The Kid of Rock can't feel his legs!" Razor yelled.

"Jubilation Lee, human bear trap." Kurt muttered.

"No no no no no no no NO!" Jubilee screamed.

"Come on, Jubilee! We need his help!" Jean groused as she pulled harder on Jubilee's legs. "Hey!" The Asian girl started trying to kick her. "Stop it!"

"Let go let go let go let go let go let go let go let go let go let go let go let go LET GO!" Jubilee screeched.

"GET HER OFF ME!" Razor yelled.

"Will you stop already?" Scott yelled at Jubilee.

"Never! I love him!" Jubilee wailed.

"Yeah, and as Nazareth would say, her love hurts." Razor groaned.

"Hang on dudes!" The metalheads said as they rushed out of the hardware store, followed by a crowbar-carrying Storm.

"Dude, that chick with the white hair." One of the metalheads said to the other.

"Yeah? What about her?" The other metalhead said.

"She totally wants me." The first metalhead grinned.

"Oh Goddess…" Storm groaned. _This city is full of…very…strange people._

**Bayville High**

Fire trucks had pulled up to Bayville High, and firefighters were busy ending the fire that came from the science lab. The students were watching in amazement.

"How the heck did this happen?" Duncan blinked.

"Some experiment a nerd was working on went out with a bang." A student replied.

"Oh brother." Duncan sighed. He looked at a firefighter. One that was carrying a hose. "Hey! How long is this going to take?"

"Oh, only a few minutes." The fireman replied, turning to Duncan. He accidentally turned the hose as well. Duncan got blasted with a jet of water, causing him to fly and stumble across the street. The soaked jock ended up falling on top of a downed power line, and it gave him the shock of his life.

**_BZZZZZZZ-ZZZ-ZZZ-ZZZ-ZZZZZ-BZZZZZZZ!_**

"NYEAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGUWAHRHWRHINBDSLJDH!"

**Outside of town**

"Oh dear God…" Principal Kelly moaned. He was tied up and he was in a side car. Turns out some biker gang had kidnapped the principal. "Where are you taking me?"

"Quiet, boy!" The biker snapped. The bikers took a whimpering Kelly to their compound. Celebrating, screaming, and laughing could be heard. A few minutes later…

"**OH GOD NO! _WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!_"** Kelly ran out of the compound at speeds that rivaled Quicksilver. One could notice that he had on a bridal veil over his head. "HELP ME! SAVE ME! SOMEONE SAVE ME! I'M TOO PRETTY TO GO THROUGH THIS! MAMA!"

Well, well, well! Looks like the X-Men may have a bigger problem on their hands! What insanity will happen next? Who is the Zookeeper? Can the X-Men pry Jubes off Razor? Will Kelly and Duncan ever get a break? Did Kelly blow his one chance at marriage? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	52. Banter Break!

**The Starr Chronicles**

_To Chiomon: Hey there, Chiomon! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, poor Razor has to survive Jubilation Lee's patented Groupie Hug of Death **(Jubilee: HEY!)**. There is a villain in the newer Teen Titans comics called the Zookeeper. He has the same powers as Beast Boy. Magneto's gonna get a new recruit, alright! It should be obvious who it is going to be. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Aaron: Hey there, Aaron! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Actually, Zookeeper was inspired by the Scorpions song "The Zoo" and the villain from the newer Teen Titans comics of the same name. That Zookeeper had the same powers as Beast Boy. Yeah, Jubilee is devoted to Razor **(Jubilee: He's mine! My rock 'n' roll hunk! You can't have him!)**. Yeah, Quicksilver is going to have a bad time when he gets home, man. Well, the Acolytes have to have **some** kind of hobbies! Piotr probably buys art books and supplies, Gambit gets cards. I do have a special surprise. I have someone to introduce in the Starr Chronicles. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Sparky Genocide: Hey there, Sparky! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! I just had to use your idea. It was so funny. Razor beating up Scott, and Duncan getting attacked by rabid stand-up comics? I like those ideas! I'll see if I can do anything with those ideas! Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To todd fan: Hey there, todd fan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Don't worry, you'll see more of the Zookeeper! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Slugs and Snails" and "Random Tales of the Magic Roundabout"!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there, Red Witch! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, I laughed while writing this, too. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Evolution XMJ"!_

_To RogueFanKC: Hey there, Rogue Fan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! I read the new chapter of "Apokolips Deferred" and I loved it! Lina and Justin meting the X-Men and the Female Furies attack! Oh God! The Zookeeper was inspired by a recent Teen Titans villain and a Scorpions song. I'm glad you liked the scene with Jubilee. I thought it would be rather funny. I will enjoy my summer! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Apokolips Deferred"!_

**Disclaimer: "There's nobody here but us chickens." - Norville "Shaggy" Rogers, Scooby Doo**

Chapter 52: Banter Break!

**A hospital in Miami**

A young man laid in a hospital bed, dressed in a hospital gown. He had an IV on him, and his forehead had a bandage around it. The medical chart said "James, V." on it. He moaned as he opened his eyes. He noticed a man dressed in a red and purple costume with a long purple cape and a red helmet with purple trim.

"Who…who…who are you?" The young man mumbled.

"Your name is Vincent James, I presume." The red-and-purple-clad man said.

"What's it to you?" Vincent mumbled.

"You are a very special young man. I am Magneto." The man introduced. "I am like you. I am a mutant, like you are. Whereas your powers allow you to create and control electronic devices, mine allow me to manipulate magnetic fields."

"So you're a mutant, too. So what?" Vincent mumbled, trying to display his arrogance. Magneto smirked.

"How would you like to use your power to achieve your wildest dreams?" Magneto offered.

"You mean…you can help me to get Althea to like me?" Vincent wondered. If Magneto was puzzled (And he was), he didn't show it.

_Okay…evidently this kid has girl issues._ Magneto thought. "Yes. I believe it could be possible." Virus smirked.

"Alright…What do I have to do?"

**The Brotherhood Boarding House, Bayville**

"Ahhh, it feels good to be back home, yo." Todd Tolensky laughed as he opened the door to the old house. The young amphibious mutant codenamed Toad was followed by his Brotherhood team-mates: Avalanche, Blob, Scarlet Witch, Quicksilver, Starway, Pyro, Starchild, and Darkstar.

"It was great seeing Jenny again." John grinned. "Who knew she was green and a super-chick now?"

"I think she liked you as well, Fred." Paul Starr said to the large Mohawk-wearing mutant.

"Really? Yeah, right." Fred rolled his eyes.

"No, seriously." John laughed. "Once you started talking about French food, she was impressed. Trust us. We know her."

**Cleveland, ****Ohio**

"Okay! We got her!" Scott yelled. Jean and Scott held back a newly-separated Jubilee. The Asian mutant was struggling and screaming. "Jubilee, calm down!"

"No!" Jubilee screamed. "Jean, he's mine! You can't have him! He's mine! Mine mine mine!"

"I don't want that arrogant sleazeball!" Jean yelled. _I managed to get a glimpse into Razor's mind when Jubilee grabbed him. God, that guy thinks way too highly of himself. Not to mention the thoughts he had about me and about Storm._

"Don't call him that!" Jubilee screamed. She suddenly tried to claw Jean's eyes out. "Take it back!"

"Hey!"

"Thank you, God." Razor mumbled as he breathed heavily, leaning against the pole.

"What'll we do with Jubilee?" Sam wondered.

"Ja. She stowed away." Kurt nodded.

"Indeed." Ororo concurred. "Ms. Lee has indeed gotten herself into quite herself a situation. And a great deal of trouble."

"Aw, ain't her fault." Razor chuckled weakly. "Not the Kid of Rock's fault. Women want the Kid of Rock, and men want to _be_ the Kid of Rock."

"I don't." Scott grumbled while trying to stop Jubilee from doing something to Jean she'd end up regretting. Something about Razor irked Scott from the start.

"Yeah, you do." Razor teased.

"Anyway Razor…" Storm interjected in an attempt to restore some order. "We would like if you took us to the Yeager District." Razor looked at Storm.

"Don't get the Kid of Rock wrong, Tina Turner." Razor smirked. "The Kid of Rock would _love_ to take you to the Yeager District. But the Kid of Rock wants to know why. What's there that you X-Men want?"

"New friends!" Kurt grinned.

"I teach at a school for young mutants." Storm explained. "Cyclops, Jean, Nightcrawler, Cannonball, and Jubilee all are students."

"Those sound like codenames." Razor noticed.

"They are." Jubilee grinned. "My codename is Jubilee, but my real name is Jubilation Lee." Razor snickered.

"Your codename is a _real_ stretch, _Jubilation_. Very original." Razor snickered. "They ran out of good ones when they came to you? Naturally, the Kid of Rock's codename is all original."

"Oh, brother. Are you _always_ so arrogant?" Scott grumbled.

"Are you always such a pencil-neck geek?" Razor teased back. "Let the Kid of Rock get this straight, Tina Turner." The Ultimate Rockstar turned back to Storm. "You work at a school for mutants, and you want the Kid of Rock to take you to the Yeager District so you could find some new students?"

"Well…yeah." Scott admitted. Razor rolled his eyes.

"We don't really have many problems here in Cleveland between the humans and mutants in this town." Razor rolled his eyes. "Oh, brother."

**The Yeager District**

The Zookeeper put a silver headband with circuitry around his head. He then put back on his safari hat.

"Hee hee hee…once I activate this headband, I shall be known as the King of the Yeager Jungle. No one will ever laugh at me again."

**Bayville Zoo**

"Cool…" Duncan Matthews said to himself. He was standing in front of the crocodile pit. "Man, crocodiles rock! I should get me one. Yeah, I could have my own crocodile pit. Man, the chicks would dig me." One of the large reptiles looked at Duncan with a rather angry look. "What the-?" The crocodile leapt up and grabbed Duncan's head in its jaws. "AHHHHHHH! HELP ME!" The crocodile dragged a screaming Duncan into the pit. "OH GOD! OH GOD! OH GOD NO! NO! NO! HELP ME! SAVE ME! MAMA! HELP ME! NOOOOOOOOO!"

**The local comedy club**

Kelly sighed as he walked into the local comedy club.

"I could use a laugh, after the idiocy in school." Kelly grumbled. "Exploding labs, jocks getting electrocuted, and unruly students AGH!" A figure leapt on him. The figure was a stand-up comic, with unruly clothes and hair, and his mouth was foaming. The comic was also barking like a dog. "AHHHHHH! HELP ME! MOMMY! DEAR GOD NO! OH GOD! HE GOT RABIES!" A couple cops who happened to be in attendance leapt into action and tried to separate them. "MOMMY! DON'T LET HIM BITE ME!"

Well, well, well! Looks like our heroes will be in trouble! What insanity will happen next? How will Jubilee be restrained? What is the Zookeeper up to? Will Kelly and Duncan ever get a break? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	53. Feral Attack!

**The Starr Chronicles**

_To todd fan: Hey there, todd fan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! That is very odd, Author Alert doesn't tell you. Try Story Alert. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Slugs and Snails", "Random Tales of the Magic Roundabout", and "Gifts and Curses"!_

_To Aaron: Hey there, Aaron! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Yup, Vincent is going to become an Acolyte. There are no Dreadnoks in the Starr Evo-verse, so the Acolytes were the next best fit. I think Jenny may like Fred a little, but she's a party girl now, so she probably wants some options first, but Fred is high on her list. I love it when Razor insults Scott. And you can bet there will be insanity in the Yeager District! Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Firefly25: Hey there, Firefly! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, the only real change between the two versions of Virus is their affiliation. Jubilee isn't on drugs. She's just high on love **(Jubilee: I love Kid Razor…)**. I'll see if I can use that line. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait to beta-read the new chapter of "Reindeer Flotilla"!_

_To RogueFanKC: Hey there, Rogue Fan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! I read the new chapter of "Apokolips Deferred" and I loved it! I think I figured out Darkseid's plan, and I **know** who the eighth Fury is. Yeah, Razor seems to get along fine with our mutant heroes. You got any sedatives for Jubes? You'll see when they get to the Yeager District. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Apokolips Deferred"!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there, Red Witch! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Jubilee going wild is a very scary thing. You'll see what the Zookeeper is cooking up, and yeah, you can bet it'll be insane! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Evolution XMJ"!_

**Disclaimer: "I just hated everything." - Angelina Jolie as Lady Lara Croft, Tomb Raider**

Chapter 53: Feral Attack!

**The Brotherhood Boarding House, Bayville**

_Ring Ring! Ring Ring!_

"Okay, okay! I'm coming!" Lance grumbled as he walked to the phone. He picked up the receiver and put it to his face. "Yeah, what do you…oh…Hello…yeah, he's here. I'll get him." He put his palm over the mouthpiece. "PIETRO! PHONE!" No one answered. The geokinetic shook his head, but his face formed a smirk when he had an idea. "Pietro…" He started calling in a sing-song voice. "It's Pam Anderson on the phone. She'd love to date you…"

"GIMME THAT PHONE!" Pietro screamed as the speedster zipped up to the phone. He shoved Lance to the side rather rudely and grabbed the phone.

"Hey!" Lance exclaimed.

"Hello, darling…" Pietro said suavely into the phone.

"Hello, sweetheart." Magneto said in a deadpan voice at the other end.

"What?" Pietro blinked. "Father, what're you-"

"YOU SON OF A-!" A pair of purple-gloved hands popped out of the receiver's mouthpiece and wrapped themselves around Pietro's neck. The pale silver-haired speedster hacked and tried to scream as Magneto was doing what many thought was impossible: Choking out his own son via the telephone. Lance watched this with a dropped jaw.

"Wow." Lance blinked. "I had no idea Magneto could do _that_ with his powers." He started to shake. "Mm…mmph…hm…ha…HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"ACK ACK ACK!"

**Cleveland, ****Ohio**

"Yeager District, dead ahead!" Kid Razor announced. He was streaking through the sky in his forcefield. The forcefields were created by the Power of Rock, a rainbow-colored mystical energy that fueled Kid Razor's powers. Flying behind him in their own forcefields were Kurt, Kitty, Jubilee, Scott, and Sam. Jean was using her TK to fly behind them, while Ororo had called upon an air current to carry her.

"What's wrong, Jubes?" Sam asked Jubilee. The Asian mutant was pouting in her forcefields.

"I wanted him to carry me in his arms, like he does when he saves people." Jubilee pouted. Sam groaned.

"No surprise." Kurt snickered.

"This is, like, so cool!" Kitty squealed.

"Nothin' like flying Razor Air!" Kid Razor laughed. "You all will love the Yeager District." He looked at Scott. "Except for you. You'd get slapped around and mad into someone's little pet in ten minutes, tops."

"Shut up, Razor." Scott muttered. Meanwhile, Jean was looking at Razor rather suspiciously.

_This is odd. This is very odd._ Jean noted. _I formed a telepathic link with the others to help monitor them, but when Razor erected forcefields around them, the link got severed. I haven't been able to re-establish the link at all. It's like that weird rainbow energy Razor uses blocks out my powers._

"Whoa…" Kurt looked down.

"Yup. Welcome to the Yeager District." Razor smirked. "Contrary to popular belief, it's not mutant-exclusive. It's more like two-thirds of the people are X-Positive." Suddenly, the rockstar's head perked up. "AAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Razor's suddenly clutched the sides of his head.

"Jean, what happened?" Ororo asked quickly.

"I don't know!" Jean exclaimed. "His forcefield blocks my powers! I can't get into his mind!"

"I know!" Jubilee piped up. "One of Kid Razor's powers is superhuman hearing."

"THAT NOISE!" Razor roared.

"What do you mean, Jubilee?" Scott asked.

"Razor's ears are much stronger and more sensitive than the average human's." Jubilee explained. "They say he can hear dog whistles."

"THIS AIN'T NO STUPID DOG WHISTLE!" Razor roared angrily.

"Like, I don't hear anything!" Kitty looked around.

"It must be ultrasonic." Scott deduced. "Razor may be able to hear sounds at frequencies that are much higher or lower than a regular human could hear. And farther away, too."

"It's coming from somewhere in the District!" Razor exclaimed. "It's driving the Kid of Rock nuts! He can't quite pinpoint it!"

"Look out!" Ororo yelled. An old woman who appeared to look half-human, half-vulture, dove down towards the heroes.

"What in the-! YIPE!" Razor barely dodged the vulture-woman's dive-bomb. "Watch where you're flying, you old buzzard!" The vulture-woman cawed and swooped back upwards.

"One of your regular supervillians, Razor?" Scott wondered.

"Yeah, the Kid of Rock regularly fights an old lady who is half-vulture, who regularly schemes to rid the world of it's much-needed carrion." Razor replied sarcastically, rolling his eyes and rubbing his ears. "WHAT DO YOU THINK?"

"Look!" Ororo pointed downwards. Razor and the X-Men looked down. The streets of the Yeager District were in chaos. People and mutants alike were fleeing.

"What in the name of Judas Priest…" Razor muttered. He then saw why the people were running: They were being attacked by mutants. Mutants that all had animal-based mutations. Razor immediately recognized the M.O. "Zookeeper…"

**Matthews Family Home, Bayville**

"Ah…" Duncan smiled as he hooked up a DVD player in the living room. "It's finally good to get back the player from the repair shop." He hooked up the last wire. "Alright! Let's get this show on the road!" He turned on the DVD player, only to get a disk spat out at him. "Hey!" It fired another disk at him. "Stop!" It fired a third disk. "What? Hey! Stop!" It continued firing discs at him. "AGH! HEY! MAMA! OW! THAT HURTS! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? WHO FIXED THIS? OW!"

**Bayville Gym**

Principal Kelly had just finished his daily exercise routine and was now checking himself out in a mirror.

"Oh yeah…" Kelly smirked as he flexed his muscles. "Who's the man, heh heh." He picked up his gym bag and got ready to leave. He unknowingly walked onto a puddle of sports drink someone had spilled earlier. "Huh?" He started to slip. "HEY WHAT! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" He careened into the ladies' dressing room. "Oh no." Screams were heard from inside and they eventually were accompanied by the sounds of a beating. "HEY! STOP! WAIT! DON'T HURT ME! I CAN EXPLAIN! OWWWWWW! OW! OH MOMMY THAT HURTS! OW! HELP ME OW! MAMA!"

Well, well, well! Looks like a super-battle just may happen! What insanity will happen next? Will Pietro ever recover from his ordeal? Can the X-Men and Kid Razor beat the Zookeeper? What is the Zookeeper's plot? Will Kelly and Duncan _ever_ get a break? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	54. Meet the Bad Guy!

**The Starr Chronicles**

_To Aaron: Hey there, Aaron! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! You'll se what the Zookeeper is up to. Don't worry. I think so far, Razor and the X-Men may get along fin, except for Scott. I thought the scene with Magneto and Pietro would be good for a few laughs. I'll see if I can provide more torture for you! Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Sparky Genocide: Hey there, Sparky Genocide! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Kelly and Bubba are such a fun duo. I think they'd make a cute couple, heh heh **(Kelly: WHAT?)**. Anyway, in all seriousness, I'll see what I can do. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To todd fan: Hey there, todd fan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! I read your new one-shot "Brotherly Love", and I loved it! Man, Scott was such a mean older brother, wasn't he? I'm glad you liked the Duncan and Kelly torture! I'll see if I can do some more for you! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Slugs and Snails", "Random Tales of the Magic Roundabout", and "Gifts and Curses"!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there, Red Witch! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! I'm glad you liked all my __Duncan__ and Kelly torture so far! I'll see if I can do more for you! Here's more insanity for you! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Evolution XMJ"!_

_To RogueFanKC: Hey there, Rogue Fan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! No, this is not a Marvel/DC crossover. This Zookeeper is different from the DC Comics one, so no __Garfield__ Logan/Beast Boy appearing. I agree with you on one thing: Kid Razor is **never** going to want Jubilee around after this! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for the new chapter of "Apokolips Deferred"!_

**Disclaimer: "Put up my house? But I just paid it off!" - Homer Simpson, the Simpsons**

Chapter 54: Meet the Bad Guy!

**The Brotherhood Boarding House**

"LILA!" Pietro Maximoff roared angrily, pounding on Lila Cheney's door at superhuman speed. "LILA!" The sounds of a band practicing could be heard from inside. Lila "Starway" Cheney, Paul "Starchild" Starr, Lance "Avalanche" Alvers, Craig "Darkstar" Starr, and St. John "Pyro" Allerdyce, aka the Superstars, were practicing in Lila's room. "LILA CHENEY! GET YOUR BUTT OUT HERE NOW!"

"Pietro, I'm sick! I want to sleep!" Wanda's voice came from a room down the hall.

"Will you deal with him already?" The voice of Lance Alvers roared. Cursing and grumbling could be heard from in the room.

"Razzum frazzum…" Lila growled as she opened the door. She got in Pietro's face. "WHAT DO YOU WANT? We're trying to practice in here!"

"Look at this, Cheney!" Pietro shoved a credit card in Lila's face. "Do you know what this is?" Lila took the bill and looked at it.

"It's credit card bill." Lila shrugged. "And it's awfully high." She threw it at Pietro. "So you got a spending problem. Why are you yelling at me?"

"BECAUSE I NEVER USED IT THAT MUCH!" Pietro screamed.

"Shut up, Pietro!" Wanda yelled.

"Here we go again." Lance muttered.

"Pietro, bug off!" John snapped.

"Shut up!" Pietro snapped back. "Lila stole my credit card! She charged all kinds of stuff on it, and now I got this bill! My old man _strangled me** over the phone!**_"

"PIETRO!" Wanda howled.

"You got any proof?" Craig growled.

"I don't need proof!" Pietro snapped. "Lila, pay this bill!" Lila angrily took the bill.

"Your credit card…" Lila waved the bill. "Your bill…" She crumpled it up. "Your problem!" She stuffed the crumpled-up bill in Pietro's mouth, and slammed the door. Pietro blinked for a second. He angrily spat out the bill, and started pounding on the door.

"LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Pietro screamed. Wanda opened the door to her room and glared at Pietro.

"**I'M SICK! I WANT SLEEP!**" Wanda yelled, blasting Pietro with a hexbolt.

**Cleveland, ****Ohio**

"This is chaos…" Storm said in horror. The streets of the Yeager District were in…well…as Storm said, chaos. The streets were being looted and mauled by mutants.

"These mutants all have animal mutations!" Razor noticed.

"Animal mutations…" Sam blinked.

_Zookeeper…_ Razor snarled.

"Look out!" Scott yelled. A man with a rhino mutation ran towards Jean, intent on charging the heroes.

"I got him!" Jean reassured. She put up a telekinetic wall, and the rhino-man bounced off.

"THE NOISE! STOP THE NOISE!" A voice screamed.

"I know that voice." Razor smirked. "A certain furry oversized retard!" A figure busted its way through a liquor store. The figure was muscular, standing over seven feet tall. He was dressed in a white muscle shirt, blue jeans, and brown work boots. He had brown fur, long black hair, and the head of a wooly mammoth.

"Who is _that?_" Kitty blinked.

"Arnold Torrence. Tusk." Razor smirked. "The Kid of Rock has been looking for a fight all day freakin' long." He took off his guitar and hit it against the ground, causing it to glow with rainbow energy.

"NOISE! NOISE! **NOISE!**" Tusk roared as he smashed a car.

"Who's Tusk?" Kitty blinked.

"Some local moron who thinks with his muscles than his mind." Razor shrugged nonchalantly. "HEY TUSK!" The mammoth-like mutant turned. He roared and charged. "I got this!" He held his guitar like a golf club. "Ha-ha! FORE!" Razor whacked the powerhouse mutant right in the mouth, sending him flying into the car he tried to smash up.

"Oh my God!" Kitty exclaimed.

"Ah, relax." Razor waved. "He gets smacked around by me all the time. He likes it."

"That's Razor for you." Jubilee sighed dreamily. "He feels no fear. He laughs in the face of danger."

"Oh, brother." Scott sighed.

"Vhat shall we do?" Kurt gulped. "Zese people have gone mad."

"They seem like they're…" Jean entered the chaotic mutants' minds. "They're under some kind of mind control!"

"No, ya think?" Razor snapped.

"Razor, watch it!" Scott snapped.

"_You_ watch it, little man!" Razor snapped back at Scott. "Order the Kid of Rock around like that again, and he **will** bust you open like an old safe!" The two got in each other's faces.

"Knock it off!" Storm separated them.

"Hello, Razor!" A voice said. The X-Men and Razor looked up and saw the Zookeeper standing on a building.

"Zookeeper…" Razor snarled, eyes glowing rainbow colors. "Looks like you want your butt kicked real bad if you decided to pull **this** garbage in **my** town!"

"Why are you doing this?" Storm hollered.

"Why do you think?" The Zookeeper snapped. "All my life, people laughed at me!"

"In that getup, the Kid of Rock can see why." Razor snickered.

"Like, totally." Kitty nodded. "Like, he totally needs a fashion consultant." Razor rolled his eyes.

"God, the Kid of Rock can't stand Valley Girls." Razor grumbled.

"But now, no one will ever laugh at me ever again!" The Zookeeper cackled. "I have obtained control over the feral population of Cleveland! I shall use them as my little army to avenge myself!"

"Half of the Kid of Rock's enemies are morons, and the rest have issues with their mommies. The Kid of Rock loves his life." Razor rolled his eyes. "Hey Animal Boy, just release these people and take your whuppin' like a man so we can all go home."

"Isn't he great? He's so…take-charge." Jubilee sighed happily. Kurt rolled his eyes.

"Oy…" Sam rolled his eyes. "Jubilee…we really need to talk."

"I grow bored with this! You mocked me for the last time, Kid Razor!" Zookeeper yelled.

"Hey happy, if the Kid of Rock had a dollar for every time people say that to me, I'd make Bill Gates look like Kenny McCormick!" Razor sneered.

"Yeah. Besides…you're kind of pathetic." Sam agreed.

"Nobody can beat Kid Razor! He's too cute!" Jubilee agreed. Razor groaned.

"AAAAAAARGH! KILL THEM ALL!" Zookeeper ordered. The mutants started advancing on the X-Men and Razor.

"Bad dogs!" Razor glared at a couple wolf-like mutants.

**A back road in Bayville**

Duncan Matthews looked both ways as he stood at an empty road. His car was nearby, broke down. He was trying to get to a house at the other side of the road.

"No cars at either side for miles." Duncan smiled. He started to cross, when he got hit by a car.

**Another back road in Bayville**

"What a great place for my car to get a freakin' flat." Principal Kelly grumbled as he pulled his tool kit and his spare tire out of his car. He was driving in the back roads when he got a flat tire. He put down the tire, and opened up his toolbox. He pulled out a flare. "I won't need this-"

**_KABOOM!_**

"OWWWWWWWWW!"

Well, well, well! Looks like our heroes are in trouble! What insanity will happen next? Can our heroes stop the Zookeeper and his army of feral mutants? Will Pietro ever get any respect? Will Kelly and Duncan ever get a break? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	55. SuperBrawl!

**The Starr Chronicles**

_To todd fan: Hey there, todd fan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! I read the new chapter of "Gifts and Curses", and I loved it! Well, Bobby is back, and he has changed. But I'm glad Piotr forgave him. I'm glad you liked the Kelly and Duncan torture! Enjoy some more! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Slugs and Snails", "Random Tales of the Magic Roundabout", and "Gifts and Curses"!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there, Red Witch! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Oh don't worry! Razor will lose it on Scott and Jean, and there will be more great moments from the Brotherhood! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Evolution XMJ"!_

_To RogueFanKC: Hey there, Rogue Fan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! I read the new chapter of "Apokolips Deferred", and I loved it! I knew it! It's X23 and she **is** Lady Deathstrike? Did you get the idea from the rumor that X23 was modeled after Deathstrike? Yeah, Pietro freaks out too much. Yup, this is a different Zookeeper. There will be more Duncan and Kelly bashing! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Apokolips Deferred"!_

**Disclaimer: "Don't forget to bring a towel!" - Towelie, ****South ****Park**

Chapter 55: Super-Brawl!

**Brotherhood Boarding House, Bayville**

"Man, I love my life." Todd grinned. "We live here, without any adult supervision." _Especially since we drove that blue witch Mystique away._ The amphibious mutant was sitting in the living room, alongside Lila, Lance, Fred and Craig. The five mutants were playing poker.

"Mm-hmm." Lance nodded, looking at his cards. "Lila, you're bluffing."

"Uh…" Fred blinked as he looked at his cards. He then showed them to Craig. "Is this good?" The LA mutant nodded.

"Where is everyone?" Craig blinked.

"Try me, Lancey." Lila teased. "Pietro and John have hit the clubs, Wanda's in her room, and Paul's in his room."

"Oh yeah." Lance remembered.

"AUGH!" A voice yelled from upstairs. The five Brotherhood members looked up. "YEAGH!" Paul ran down the stairs. He had a towel around his waist, and his long black hair was soaked. A few seconds later, a fully-clothed Tabitha ran down after him, hearts flying around her head, brandishing a brush.

"Come back here, loverboy!" Tabby cooed. "I just wanted to help you with your hair…" Paul and Tabby raced into the kitchen, and the sound of a door slamming was heard. The five blinked.

"Ooookay…" Fred blinked.

"Now all we gotta do is wait for the news where they talk about a fire, and then we'll know it's time to pick up John." Lila snickered.

**Cleveland, ****Ohio**

"Hey nerd…" Razor smirked to Scott. "Ever deal with stuff like this?" The X-Men and Kid Razor were surrounded by a lot of snarling feral mutants, and they were inching closer.

"Oh, brother." Scott groaned.

"Their minds are clouded." Jean's hands were on her temples. "Their minds are clouded by rage. Something's making them wanting to lash out at everything and everyone." The Zookeeper cackled.

"Gee, I wonder what?" Razor said to Jean sarcastically. "HEY!" A catgirl leapt on top of the Ultimate Rockstar. "Hey babe! I don't like you _that_ much!" Jubilee saw red.

"HANDS OFF MY MAN, YOU WENCH!" Jubilee nailed the catgirl with her fireworks. The catgirl leapt on Jubilee and they started fighting.

"Whoa…" Razor grinned.

"Hang on!" Jean formed a telekinetic bubble around the heroes as the ferals attacked. The ferals leapt to attack, but they bounced off the bubble like a rubber ball off a brick wall. "Nn…" Jean grunted as the mutants' attacks bounced off the telekinetic bubble. "Ugh…Oh…I can't hold it much longer!"

"We have to get to the Zookeeper!" Razor growled. "He's controlling them! Open a hole!" Jean did so, and Razor flew out.

"Huh?" The Zookeeper blinked.

"You're _dead_, animal boy!" Razor started to fly towards him, but he got ambushed by several bird-like mutants. "Argh!" Razor started swatting at them with his guitar and punching at them as they tried to slice Razor apart. "Get off the Kid of Rock, you overgrown buzzards! You suck! You featherbrains! Mind-controlled or not, the Kid of Rock will whup you like a bunch of government mules!"

"RAZOR!" Jubilee screamed in horror. "Jean! We have to help him!"

"We must get to the Zookeeper and stop him!" Storm nodded. "And we cannot hurt any of these people!"

"No problem! Let's clear a path!" Scott fired out his optic beams, clearing a path. "Everyone, use your powers to disperse the crowd! Try not to hurt anybody!"

"Speak for yourself, Chief Stick-Up-Butt!" Razor snapped, trying to off the bird-like mutants on him. "That's it!" Razor managed to pluck his guitar, and forcefield starting glowing intensely. "ALDO NOVA EXPLOSION!" Razor's forcefield exploded, causing the bird mutants to fly off him. Nightcrawler and Cannonball used their powers to send the attacking feral army scattering. Cyclops cleared them with his optic beams, Storm called upon wind and lightning to force them to back off, Jubilee blinded some ferals with her fireworks, Shadowcat followed Razor, phasing through anyone that attacked her, and Jean was using TK to push back your attackers. Razor himself was using his guitar to blast the army below while he sped towards Zookeeper.

"Hey, maybe if we're lucky, Razor will let us see him in concert or something!" Jubilee grinned.

"Oh, brother." Razor rolled his eyes. He flew toward Zookeeper, a glowing fist cocked back, ready to blow. "Hey Animal Man, eat Power of Rock! HEAVY…METAL…"

"I don't think so!" Zookeeper smirked. A green aura appeared around his body, and it turned into a transparent green gorilla made of energy. "GORILLA PUNCH!" The energy gorilla punched Razor hard before the Kid of Rock 'n' Roll could connect with his Heavy Metal Punch.

"WHOA!" The punch sent Razor flying into a building.

"Whoa! Zat Zookeeper really has a mean hook." Kurt winced. Razor scowled as he got to his feet. He was inside the building he was knocked into.

"Nice trick. For a punk in a bad safari outfit." Razor scowled.

"I have to thank you for that." The Zookeeper laughed. "I gained this new trick after the last time we battled. Razor smirked.

"Finally, you have a _useful_ talent. The Kid of Rock has to admit, Zookeeper…You throw a good hit. Now let's see if you can TAKE IT AS GOOD AS YOU DISH IT OUT!" Razor plucked his guitar. His forcefield erupted around his body. "_BON **JOVI BOOSTER!**_" With a sound like a gunshot, Razor streaked through the air at incredible speed like a human bullet towards the Zookeeper. "LET'S SEE YOU STOP _THIS_, PUNK!" The gorilla-shaped aura reared back its fist, ready to take Razor out with another punch.

**A road in Bayville**

"Aw, God!" Kelly groaned. He was on a road. His car had broken down again. "HEY!" A passing car splashed mud all over his legs. "MY SUIT! Aw, that's just great! Things can't get any worse!" He heard what appeared to be a whistle that was slowly growing louder. He looked up and his eyes widened. His jaw dropped. "Oh…my…God!" An extremely angry baboon landed on top of Kelly and started mauling him. "AAAAARGH! HELP ME! MOMMY! I WANT MY MAMA! SAVE ME! AAAAAAGH!

**Downtown Bayville**

"_Hmm hm hm hmm…_" Duncan Matthews hummed as he started to cross the street.

"Look out!" Someone yelled.

"Yipe!" Duncan leapt out of the way of an out-of-control septic truck careened by him, narrowly hitting him. The truck hit the wall of the building in front of him. A spooked Duncan slowly got up, slowing his heart rate by breathing deeply. "Man…that was close." The septic tank at the back of the truck burst wide open, spraying raw sewage all over Duncan. "AAAAARGH! HELP ME! THIS STINKS! AAARGH! MAMA! HELP ME! SAVE ME! EWWWW! THIS IS GROSS!"

Well, well, well! Looks like the battle shall continue? What insanity will happen next? Can our heroes stop the Zookeeper and free the feral mutants of Cleveland? Will Kelly and Duncan ever get a break? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	56. Caged Up!

**The Starr Chronicles**

_To Dante Tigerwolf: Hey there, Dante! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! I'm very glad you liked this fic so far! I think it's good for some laughs. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "The Z Project!"_

_To Sparky Genocide: Hey there, Sparky Genocide! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Thanks for the ideas, man. They helped big time! Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there, Red Witch! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! I could see Jubilee get into a catfight for some reason, although she'd punch rather than claw. She's a brawler. Yeah, the baboon and septic tank scenes made **me** laugh, and **I'm** the one writing this! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Evolution XMJ"!_

_To Aaron: Hey there, Aaron! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! I'm glad you liked all the insanity of the last chapter! It was fun to do! Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To RogueFanKC: Hey there, Rogue Fan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Thanks, I'm working on my fight scenes. Oh yeah, the X-Girls are losing it. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait to read more from you!_

_To todd fan: Hey there, todd fan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, I had fun writing about __Duncan__ getting covered in raw sewage. It made laugh myself. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Gifts and Curses"!_

**Disclaimer: "A number one, that's me!" - John Candy as Tom Tuttle from ****Tacoma, ****Washington****, Volunteers**

Chapter 56: Caged Up!

**Brotherhood Boarding House, Bayville**

A laughing St. John "Pyro" Allerdyce walked into the Brotherhood House. He noticed Lance, Fred, Paul, Craig, and Lila watching TV. Todd was on a chair, typing on a laptop.

"What's so funny, John?" Lance turned his head the Aussie lunatic.

"Where's Pietro, yo. I think he would've come home with a girl or something." Todd added, not looking up from his laptop.

"He's in jail." John cackled.

"_Jail?_" Fred blinked. "What'd he do to get into jail?"

"Flirted with the wrong girl, that's what." Lila snickered. She leapt up and high-fived Todd.

"Why am I not surprised?" Craig muttered.

"I got summoned by the cops, mate." John snickered. "You see, according to them, Pietro saw a strip club and tried to get in, but the bouncer wouldn't because Pietro's too young."

"You know Pietro. If there's a chance to see naked chicks, he'll do anything to take it." Todd snickered.

"Yeah. Anyway, He tried to sneak in through an air vent." John continued, still snickering.

"Let me guess, he got stuck." Fred guessed.

"Nope." John shook his head. "Pietro found a way to the girls' dressing rooms. But then, the vent collapsed, and he found himself getting kicked and maced to kingdom come, mate!" John burst out laughing.

"How come you didn't go with him?" Lance blinked. John shrugged.

"I wasn't in the mood to spend a night in jail with a big guy named Bubba. And I was busy with my own project." The Aussie smirked. "Man, I would not want to be Duncan Matthews right now…"

**Cleveland, ****Ohio**

"GORILLA PUNCH!" The Zookeeper, surrounded by a green gorilla-shaped aura, aimed a punch at a charging Kid Razor, who was ready to hit the goofy villain with his own Heavy Metal Punch. The gorilla-shaped aura threw the punch, but Razor dodged at the last second.

"HEAVY METAL PUNCH!" Kid Razor roared. He nailed the energy gorilla right across the mouth with his Power of Rock-charged punch. The rainbow-colored mystical energy exploded on contact.

"AARGH!" The Zookeeper screamed as the gorilla got knocked flat on its butt. He rubbed his head under his hat, to deal with the pain caused by the psychic backlash, backlash created by Razor's punch. "Grrr…" Razor landed on the roof.

"You suck, man." Kid Razor sneered. "I've taken on some real supervillains and some real clowns. Buddy, you fit into the latter."

"How's _this_ for a clown?" Zookeeper snarled. His green aura morphed into a lion. "No one ever questions the King of Beasts!"

"King? You?" Razor burst out laughing. "If you're the King of Beasts, then I'm the King of England!"

"Long live the King, then!" The Zookeeper snarled, leaping at Razor. The Ultimate Rockstar was ready, though. He whipped off his guitar and held it like a baseball bat. The guitar's body started glowing with rainbow energy.

"Long live the King to you, jerkoff! VAN HALEN HAMMER!" Kid Razor swung his hammer like a baseball bat, and it hit the lion-shaped aura.

"AAAAGH!" The Zookeeper screamed as he was hit with plenty of psychic backlash from Razor's blow. The lion-shaped aura faded, and he hit the ground. The impact caused his hat to fall off his head and roll toward Razor. The smirking rocker picked up the hat.

"Hello…" Razor picked up the safari hat. He pulled out the control headband from the inside of it. He turned it around and examined it. "The Kid of Rock is willing to bet his Rolling Stones CDs that this little gadget caused all this."

"Ohh…" The Zookeeper moaned.

"Well, only one way to find out." Razor shrugged. He broke the ring-shaped control device in half like a cookie. "I wonder how those X-Weirdoes are doing?"

**Back in the streets of the Yeager District**

"We can't hold them off!" Jubilee exclaimed. The X-Men: Cyclops, Jubilee, Jean Grey, Storm, Nightcrawler, Shadowcat, and Cannonball, were forced into a circle by the enraged, mind-controlled army of feral mutants. Suddenly, they stopped, blinked and looked around.

"Hey, what am I doing here?"

"This isn't my apartment!"

"Oh God, my boss is gonna kill me!"

"We all gonna die!"

"SHUT UP, MIKE!" One mutant pointed at the X-Men.

"Hey, who are these guys? They superheroes?"

"Uh…" Cyclops scratched his head. "…'Kay." Two pieces of metal bounced off his head. "OW!" He picked them up. "What're these?"

"What the Zookeeper was using to cause this crud." Kid Razor floated down, carrying the Zookeeper's unconscious body. Razor dumped him on the ground, and the crowd started murmuring.

"Look! It's Kid Razor!"

"Wow!"

"Oh my God!"

"Man, he's even cuter in person!"

"WHO SAID THAT?" Jubilee roared angrily, looking around.

"Thank you, thank you…" Razor smirked, bowing for the crowd.

"What a ham…" Scott groaned. Razor overheard.

"Jealous much, Visor-boy?" The Kid of Rock 'n' Roll smirked.

**Duncan's House, Bayville**

Duncan Matthews drove toward his house when he noticed an odd glow in the distance.

"Huh?" The jock blinked. He drove closer when he noticed that the glow was from flame. Flame that was covering his house. "AAAAAAAAAAAH!" He stopped in front of his house. "MY HOUSE! OH GOD!" An explosion erupted from the house. A piece of fiery debris flew out of the flaming house, and landed on Duncan, setting him ablaze. "AAAH! HELP ME! OW! MAMA!" His parents drove up.

"DUUUUUUUUUNCAAAAAAAAAN!" Duncan's father roared angrily.

**The local fast food restaurant**

"Yech!" Kelly muttered as he stormed out of the fast food restaurant. He walked past a man in a chicken suit. "The fried chicken was terrible! I oughta sue! I nearly got sick from it!"

"Matter of opinion, pal." The man in the chicken suit responded.

"I'm so mad, I could punch someone!" Kelly snapped. A short time later, a couple cops were carting Kelly away. He had two black eyes, his clothes were tattered, and stars flew around his head. "Lemme at 'im! Lemme at 'im! I'll kill him!" A couple more cops were carting away the man in the chicken suit, who was dancing around and shadow boxing.

"Didn't count on facing a New York Golden Gloves champ, did ya?" The chicken-suited man crowed.

Well, well, well! Looks like our heroes saved the day! What insanity will happen next? What insanity will the X-Men still get into in Cleveland? Will Jubilee ever find out who said Razor was cute? Will Pietro get out of jail? Will Duncan die at the hands of his father? Will Kelly get his butt kicked by anyone else in animal suits? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	57. Coming Home Again!

**The Starr Chronicles**

_To Dante Tigerwolf: Hey there, Dante Tigerwolf! Nice to hear from you! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! I'm a bit of a nerd myself, so I don't blame you for comparing my story to coffee. It was funny, actually. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "The Z Project"!_

_To Sparky Genocide: Hey there, Sparky Genocide! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Thanks for the idea, man! It really helped out a lot! Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there, Red Witch! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, that scene with the chicken guy was fun to write. I wouldn't be surprised myself if Pietro does cause a riot at the jail. I will write plenty! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Evolution XMJ"!_

_To james: Hey there, james! Nice to hear from you! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Don't worry, I won't kill off Duncan and Kelly. You have a point. I'd lose out on a lot of fun with them. Torture opportunities and all. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To todd fan: Hey there, todd fan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! I read your new one-shot "Pox of the Chicken Variety" and I loved it! Germ-obsessed Scott is funny. Very, very funny. Yeah, the mental image I got made me laugh, too. I can imagine Pietro doing something like that, too. I was inspired by "Family Guy" to do the whole thing with the chicken guy. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Gifts and Curses"!_

_To Aaron: Hey there, Aaron! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, that was a fun fight to do. To me, Kid Razor and his little universe is just as much part of the MU as Spider-Man, the X-Men, and the Fantastic Four. Oh, yeah. You can bet the Brotherhood would get a few laughs from finding out the great Pietro got his butt whooped by a bunch of strippers. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To RogueFanKC: Hey there, Rogue Fan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Heh heh, the mental image of Pietro get his butt kicked by strippers is funny. I'll see if I can get a picture for you. Yeah, but to be fair to Kelly, the guy in the chicken costume was a state Golden Gloves champion. Enjoy the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "What's a battle?" - Ralph Wiggum, the Simpsons**

Chapter 57: Coming Home!

**The local police precinct**

"Razzum frazzum…" Pietro Maximoff pouted. The silver-haired speedster was sulking in his cell at the local precinct.

"Well, well, well." Lance Alvers snickered as he walked up to the cell. "How the mighty have fallen."

"Oh, shut up." Pietro pouted.

"The things you do to enjoy the pleasures of the flesh, huh Maximoff?" Lance snickered.

"I said it before, and I'll say it again: Shut up." Pietro grumbled.

"We posted your bail." Lance rolled his eyes. "Come on." The guard unlocked the cell door and opened it. "Let's go, Pietro." With the pout still on his face, Pietro stood up and walked out. Screams were heard behind them.

"Let me go!" A beaten-up Principal Kelly snapped at the two guards restraining him, struggling to free himself from their grip. "I want my phone call! I want my attorney! I want a cheese sandwich!"

"Get in there!" The guards threw Kelly in.

"John told me where you were." Lance explained to Pietro. "Come on, man." The two started walking out of the cell area.

"How'd you know?" Pietro wondered.

"John told me." Lance explained.

"No one else knows?"

"Besides me, John, and you, not a soul." Lance lied. "Come on, man. Let's go home." As the two boys left, Kelly's screams could be heard from the cells.

"Hey! No! Stay back! Stay back, Bubba! BUBBA! DON'T YOU DARE BUBBA! NO! NO BUBBA! BUBBA NO! _NO__ BUBBA NO! **AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!**"_

**On the way back to Bayville**

"Some parting gift." Scott Summers grumbled. "Look what that jerk did to the jet!" Indeed, if one looked at the X-Jet from the outside, one could see that the jet was given a new paint job. It was covered with logos of various classic rock bands. "How did he do that?"

"He said something about a magic spray can he got in a previous adventure." Jubilee remembered. "God, he looked so cute in person…"

"Jubilee, don't mention him again!" Scott grumbled.

"Speaking of you, Jubilation…" Storm remembered. "You _did_ break one of the rules when you stowed on board the X-Jet."

"But I thought Kid Razor might need my help!" Jubilee tried to defend herself.

"You're going to be washing this paint off." Scott grumbled.

"It's magic paint, Cyclops." Jubilee pouted. "It'll go away."

"If it doesn't, then you're scrubbing." Scott muttered. "I can't believe him."

"No kidding." Jean sighed in agreement. "That Razor is such a letch. I can't believe he goosed me."

"Nor can I believe that in front of a televised audience, he talked about my legs." Storm grunted.

"Maybe zat's just how zey compliment people in Cleveland." Kurt quipped with a big grin.

"Kurt…" Jean stared at Kurt flatly. "…Be quiet." Kurt shrugged.

"Just suggesting."

"Well don't, Kurt." Jean groaned.

"You're lucky, Wagner." Jubilee pouted. "At least _you_ don't have to scrub the jet."

"Well, Jubes…you _are_ his biggest fan." Scott snickered. "And, you _did_ stow away. So, I think it would be very appropriate for you to clean up the jet. It's only fair."

**Brotherhood Boarding House, Bayville**

"Come on, Pietro." Lance wrapped his arm around Pietro's shoulders in a comforting manner. The boys were at the front steps of the Brotherhood Boarding House.

"Are you _sure_ no one else knows besides me, you, and John?" Pietro groaned.

"I'm sure!" Lance reassured impatiently. "Now get inside." He shoved Pietro inside the house. He found the rest of the Brotherhood sitting around the living room, keeping occupied and watching TV. Except for John. The crazy Australian pyrokinetic was upstairs.

"Hi, Pietro. How was the Big House?" A lounging Lila snickered, not even looking up from the TV.

"Yeah. Get a new boyfriend?" Craig added with a smirk. Pietro's jaw dropped.

"You said no one else knew!" Pietro snapped at Lance. Lance shrugged.

"I thought no one _else_ knew either." Lance lied.

"PYRO! GET DOWN HERE, YOU PSYCHO AUSSIE!" Pietro roared, racing up the stairs.

"You're brother's a weirdo." Craig looked over at Wanda, who was leaning against a wall. The hexcaster shrugged.

"I guess so." Wanda replied. Craig's cheeks reddened slightly when she looked up at him. "You alright?"

"Fine." Craig mumbled, quickly looking away. Paul smirked at his twin.

**A back road in Bayville**

"_BACK IN BLACK…_" Duncan Matthews sang out loudly with the blaring car radio. The jock was driving along a back road in his car. The top was back, and the sun was shining. "Oh yeah, what a beautiful day! The sun is shining, the breeze is great, the radio is loud, and I'm still good-looking." A hunter's gun was heard firing.

**_BLAM!_**

"And of course, there are always hunters here. Wonderful." The jock rolled his eyes. A dead bird fell out of the sky and landed in his lap. The jock screamed like a girl. In his fright, he swerved wildly and crashed into a tree. Duncan staggered of his wrecked car. "Thank God I wore a seat belt." A gaggle of birds flew in from out of nowhere and swarmed all over the jock. "AAAAAAARGH! HELP ME! MOMMY! OW OW OW OW! THAT HURTS! AUGH!"

Well, well, well! Looks like the craziness will never end! What insanity will happen next? Will Jubilee clean the jet? What wacky adventures will the Brotherhood get up to next? Will Kelly and Duncan recover from their ordeals? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	58. UhOh!

**The Starr Chronicles**

_To Red Witch: Hey there, Red Witch! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Hmm, the jet falling apart, huh? That gives me an idea… Yeah, I've been busy! I can't wait for more reviews from you! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Evolution XMJ"!_

_To Dante: Hey there, Dante! Nice to hear from you! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, sometimes computers can have some very weird problems. Hmm, Pyro finding Pietro's diary and blackmailing him, huh? Well, I like that idea! I'll see what I can do with that. No, you do **not** want to know where Bubba's from. I don't know why you are rhyming. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "The Z Project"!_

_To Aaron: Hey there, Aaron! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, poor ol' Pietro and Jubilee are going to be joked about a lot for his jail time and her love for Kid Razor. Actually, I've been hinting about that since Chapter 1. Will they act on it? I dunno. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To todd fan: Hey there, todd fan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! You noticed? Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Gifts and Curses" and your "A Knight's Tale" parody._

_To RogueFanKC: Hey there, Rogue Fan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, __Duncan__ will be spending a lot more time with his car lately. Yeah, I think the Brotherhood would get many laughs from Pietro's jail time. Actually, Craig's crush was around for longer than that. I have no idea about Apocalypse, to be honest with you. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait to read more from you!_

**Disclaimer: "FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDOM!" - Mel Gibson as William Wallace, Braveheart**

Chapter 58: Uh-Oh!

**The Xavier Institute**

"Razzum frazzum…" Jubilation Lee, the firework-shooting New Mutant known as Jubilee, grumbled angrily. The young Asian mutant was lugging a metal bucket full of water, with a brush and sponge sticking out. She walked into the hangar. She saw the X-Jet. It still was covered in classic rock band logos. She looked them over. "I _really_ don't see the big deal about this. The jet looks kinda nice."

_And remember, Jubilation. I want this jet to sparkle like a gem._ She replayed what Scott had told her.

"Nag, nag, nag." Jubilee muttered to herself angrily as she stomped toward the jet. She started muttering to herself. "You know, Cyclops would **_never_** make Jean do this. Oh no, no way. Nyeah nyeah nyeah." She pulled out the brush when she heard a creaking. "Huh?" She heard what appeared to be metal whining. "Oh-kay…" Her eyes widened when she witnessed the X-Jet fall to pieces like a cracked-up brick wall. "Oh…my…God!"

**The Brotherhood Boarding House, Bayville**

"ONE! MORE! NOTCH!" The TV in the kitchen crowed.

"Oh yeah!" Fred grinned as he stood over a steaming pot. "Preach on, Emeril!" The large Mohawk-wearing mutant put some pepper in the pot. Lila walked over.

"Hey, Big Man. What're you making?" Lila wondered. She took a whiff of the steam coming from the pot. "Mmm…good. What is it?"

"It's a surprise." Fred grinned.

"Toady told me you're quite the cook." Lila remembered.

"Yup." Fred nodded. "Thankfully, Paul's job gives us money for food so I can experiment. Is Pietro around? I want him to try some of this stuff, too." Lila shrugged.

"The little silver jerk is holed up in his room." The interstellar teleporter responded. St. John walked into the room. "Hi, John." Pyro waved. Normally, the Australian's real name was pronounced "Sinjin", but he didn't mind if people called him John. Besides, he himself thought "Sinjin" was a weird way to pronounce a name spelled "St. John".

"Hey, mate." John grinned as he looked at the pot, and took a sniff. "Yummy."

"It's not a flambé, Pyro." Fred answered for the pyrokinetic. John pouted.

"No fair, mate." John pouted. "I wanted to set it on fire."

"We gave you Pietro's jeans." Lila remembered.

"Burned 'em already." John shrugged. Meanwhile, Paul was knocking on Pietro's door.

"Hey Pietro, come on out here! Fred's cooking something nice!" Paul grinned. "It's going to be really good!"

"Uh-uh!" Pietro's voice came from behind the door. "No way! The minute I come out, **someone** is going to crack a smarmy joke at my expense!"

"You worry too much, Pietro." Paul snickered. "Just come on down! Nothing bad is going to happen! You're such a pessimist."

"And you're naïve!" Pietro snapped. The purple-clad teenager rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"If you're preening again, I'll come back later." Paul walked off. Pietro opened the door, and the silver-haired speedster peeked out.

"Hey, has anyone seen my favorite pair of jeans? I can't find them anywhere, and they're not in their usual place!"

**The Xavier Institute**

Jubilee walked out on to the Mansion's grounds. She found Scott doing skeet shooting, only instead of using a rifle, Scott naturally used his own optic blasts.

"Pull!" Scott commanded. A clay Frisbee zipped through the air. The young mutant opened his visor, releasing his eye beams. The reddish-pink beams hit the clay disk, shattering it. Jubilee cleared her throat. Scott turned.

"Hey, Jubilee. Did you wash the jet?" Scott wondered. Jubilee stammered.

"Well…well…y-y-you see…"

"Huh?" A confused Scott blinked.

"Y-y-you see, I…I…I-I was about to…but…b-but…" Jubilee stammered. She wasn't sure if Scott would believe her. "You-you see, I was about to, but…the jet fell apart." Scott blinked.

"The jet fell apart?"

"The jet fell apart." Jubilee nodded quickly. Scott raised an eyebrow.

"Let me get this straight." Scott pinched the bridge of his nose. "You were about to wash that blasted paint off the jet, and it fell apart."

"Like a house of cards." Jubilee nodded.

"Are you trying to con your way out of your punishment?" Scott crossed his arms.

"Do I _look_ like I'm trying to con you?" Jubilee groaned. "Scott, I'm serious! Come on!" She grabbed his arm and tried to pull him.

"What're you doing?" Scott snapped. "Jubilee, have you gone nuts?"

"Scott, I don't know how the X-Jet fell apart, but it did!" Jubilee exclaimed. "Scott, Mr. Logan _loves_ that jet! If he sees it-!" She was interrupted.

"**_RARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!_****_ WHAT HAPPENED TO THE JET? IT LOOKS LIKE A WRECK!_**" Logan's roar shook the Mansion. Scott's jaw hit the ground. The firecracker **was** telling the truth. Scott's jaw hit the ground.

"Whoa. I guess you weren't trying to con me, Jubilee. Sorry." Scott apologized. Jubilee's face paled.

"Oh, no…"

**A street in Bayville**

Prinicipal Kelly looked both ways in front of a street, and then he started to cross. Suddenly, he heard something barrel toward him. With a yelp, he barely managed to get out of the way of a semi.

"Watch where you're going, jerkoff!" The truck driver snapped as he drove away.

"You watch it! I had the right of way!" Kelly snapped. The muttering principal turned around and took a step forward, causing the screaming principal to fall into another manhole. "Not again…Oh…Hey…who are you…why are you looking at me like…no…no…NO…go away! Leave me alone! Stay back! What do you want! No! No! NOOOO! AAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

**A construction site**

"Yipe!" Todd Tolensky hopped into a construction site, being pursued by an enraged Duncan, who was covered in slime.

"Come 'ere, ya little-!" Duncan roared. Todd hopped over a little square-shaped of quick-dry cement, obviously intended to be part of a walkway. The jock, however, ran into it. "Hey what?" He found that the cement had dried around his feet, prevent him from moving. "Hey! I can't move!" A snapping noise was heard from above. "Huh?"

"Look out below!" Someone called out from above. A whistling noise was heard accompanying Duncan's screaming. With a CRASH, a set of girders fell on the jock. "OWWWWWW!"

Well, well, well! Looks like our heroes are having a nice quiet day for once. What insanity will happen next? Will Pietro find his jeans? Will Wolverine kill somebody? Why the heck did the jet fall apart? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	59. Surprise Visit!

**The Starr Chronicles**

_To Inkaholic: Hey there, Inkaholic! Nice to hear from you! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Thanks for the compliment! You certainly can use my characters for "X-Men Revolution". If you have any questions about them, just e-mail me! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for the brand-new first chapter of "X-Men Revolution"!_

_To Aaron: Hey there, Aaron! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Oh yeah, a lot of insanity in that chapter! Logan **loves** the X-Jet like a girlfriend, so one can understand him freaking out. You'll love what I have a certain all-mutant rock band do next. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Chiomon: Hey there, Chiomon! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Oh yeah, __Logan__ is mad. And when the Wolverine is angry, you can only get out of the way, or get slashed to strips! Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To RogueFanKC: Hey there, Rogue Fan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Well, to be fair, Jubilee had nothing to do with the X-Jet falling apart. She was going to clean it off like she should, but it fell to pieces before she even laid a **finger** on it! Writing __Duncan__ getting crushed to death is funny. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Dante Tigerwolf: Hey there, Dante! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Glad you liked the Emeril line! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "The Z Project" and "The Savage Creed"!_

_To todd fan: Hey there, todd fan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, the mental image is pretty funny. I just wrote that line in on a random whim, heh heh. It can happen to anyone. Oh yeah, __Logan__ will be on a rampage. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Slugs and Snails", "Gifts and Curses", and "Fourteenth Century Man"!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there, Red Witch! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Oh yeah, the X-Men need to shop for a new jet. I'll see if I can include more Todd getting the better of __Duncan__! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for more one-shots and new chapters of "Evolution XMJ"!_

**Disclaimer: "They're all dead, Dave." - Holly, Red Dwarf**

Chapter 59: Surprise Visit!

**The Xavier Institute**

"Hah hah! You suck, Crisp!" Roberto "Sunspot" da Costa laughed at Ray "Berzerker" Crisp. The Brazilian solar battery and the electrokinetic were playing a video game in the Institute's Common Room. Ray growled.

"Oh shut up, rich boy!" Ray snapped back. "We all know you use the cheat codes! You couldn't play squat without the cheat codes!"

"Hey, I'm not some punk cheater, alright?" Roberto snapped back at the electrokinetic ex-Morlock. "I oughta slap you in the mouth for even _suggesting_ that I do something as lowdown and dirty as cheating!"

"Oh, don't give me that chivalry bull, you son of a-!" Ray started to yell when he heard a yell.

"**FIRECRACKER!**" The voice of Logan, the feral Canadian X-Man codenamed Wolverine, was heard roaring in rage. "**YOU BETTER PRAY I DON'T FIND YOU FOR BUSTING UP THE JET!**" Ray and Roberto looked at each other.

"Man, I do _not_ want to be Jubilee right now." Ray sighed.

"Me neither." Roberto shook his head.

"Gotta hide! Gotta hide!" Jubilee ran by in a panic. "Oh God, how do I explain this?"

"You broke Logan's jet." Roberto told the Asian girl. "What's there to explain?"

"But I didn't even lay a _finger_ on the jet!" Jubilee exclaimed. "When we went to Cleveland, we met Kid Razor. I kind of…stowed away. Anyway, Razor used a can of magic spray paint and sprayed rock logos all over the jet. I thought it was nice. Anyway, I had to clean the jet off as punishment for stowing along." Jubilee then smiled and sighed happily. "It was worth it…I got to see Kid Razor in person…he was even dreamier up close…"

"There she goes again…" Ray groaned. "Whenever someone mentions Kid Razor, she starts yakking about how much she loves him."

"I heard Kid Razor was none too happy with your advances." Roberto snickered at the living firework launcher. "I heard you grabbed him and wouldn't let him go. They practically had to use a crowbar to pry you off him…" He found himself on the receiving end of a death glare from the Asian mutant. "…Hoo boy."

"Never make fun of the crush on Razor, dude." Ray shook his head. "Tabitha commented on it once, and she spent the next week in the infirmary."

"**_FIRECRACKER!_**" At that roar from Logan, Jubilee quickly dropped her glare and gulped.

"He's gonna kill me!" Jubilee gulped, fleeing the scene. "Help me!" Ray and Roberto watched her flee. The two shrugged, then they heard a knocking at the door. Roberto got up and went to the door. He opened the door, to find a grinning Paul Starr standing there, dressed in his Superstars costume.

"Uh…Hey Paul." Roberto blinked.

"Hey Sunspot! What's up!" Paul grinned. "Hey, I heard that you have this Danger Room thing that has holograms, right?"

"Is there someone at the door?" Storm walked up towards the door. "Oh, hello Paul."

"Hi, Storm." Paul grinned.

"Why're you in your band costume?" Roberto wondered, noticing that the young mutant was in his Superstars costume.

"Well, we have a bit of a problem." Paul explained. "You see, the rest of the band and I want to film a little music video. But Pietro won't let us film in the house."

"We didn't want to film there anyway." John's voice added.

"And everywhere we tried kicked us out. They said we all looked like freaks and we would scare people." Paul continued, finishing with a shrug. "I didn't know what they were talking about."

"It was Craig they were talking about." Lila snickered.

"Anyway, we need somewhere where we can go to film our music video, and I remembered that you guys had that training room with the holograms so we could make our music video." Paul smiled. Storm's face showed suspicion.

"I don't know…" The weather goddess shook her head. "How do we know you're not out to cause trouble?"

"No offense, _Your Majesty_, but I don't think I would be in any mood to fight any X-Geeks in this stuff." Lance held out his arms, indicating he was in his Superstars costume and makeup. The white-haired weather manipulator blinked as she took in Lance's look. She had to admit, she wouldn't fight anyone in glam-rock clothes.

"Good point." Storm nodded. "Come on in." The five Superstars walked inside. A squeal was heard.

"Uh oh!" Lance's eyes widened. He saw Kitty racing towards him with hearts for eyes. She looked like a Looney Toon. _I guess wearing makeup drives girls crazier than I thought!_ "Yipe! Stay back! Down! Down! Bad Kitty! Bad! YIKES! KITTY!" He ran out the door.

**The Brotherhood House**

"Ahhh…" Pietro Maximoff smiled as he laid back on a hammock. He had a drink in a glass with ice, decorated with a straw and an umbrella sitting next to him on the ground. He had a straw hat on his head, and sunglasses. "Life is good…those Superstar idiots are bothering the X-Geeks, and Toad and Blob are glued to the TV like the morons they are. Wanda is also out at the store. Ahhh, no one to bother the greatness that is me. Life is good." He closed his eyes. The silver-haired speedster then heard noise. "What the…WHAT THE!" He saw Fred run by, wrestling a bunch of crocodiles.

"Oi! Come back 'ere, mate!" Toad hopped after him. He was dressed like he was going out to safari, and speaking in an Australian accent. "Crikey, these blokes are ornery!"

"Ugh." Pietro groaned. "Never put impressionable idiots in front of an idiot box." Pietro mumbled. He then heard screaming. He looked up and… "No! NO! BLOB! GET YOUR FAT ARSE AWAY FROM ME AAAAAARGH!" A crocodile-covered Fred made another pass by Pietro, but the large Texan mutant tripped and fell on top of Pietro. "OW!"

**The ****Grand Canyon**

Duncan Matthews was riding a burro along a ridge.

"Wow." Duncan looked down at the canyon below. "This is really neat…and this canyon is really big." The burro stopped. "Hey what're you stopping for?" He snapped at the mule-like animal. "Get moving!" The burro didn't seem to like Duncan's attitude. Suddenly, it reared, throwing Duncan off him. The jock tried to get up, but the burro then kicked him in the groin. The action caused a screaming Duncan to stumble and fall into the canyon.

**Bayville High**

"Okay, random locker checks!" Principal Kelly announced. The students of Bayville High were standing in front of their lockers. The principal had decided to check students' locker's right now. _Heh__ heh.__ Keeps those suckers on their toes. If they never know when they're going to be going through locker checks, they won't have a chance to hide any stuff that's not allowed._ The principal looked through the lockers, one by one. _Let's see…Books…mm-hmm…good…okay…wow, this really works!_ He stopped at one Goth kid who was smirking at him. Kelly blinked, shrugged, and opened the kid's locker. "Huh?" All he saw was nothing but blackness. "What in the the-?" Suddenly, a monstrous-looking green arm reached out of the darkness and grabbed the principal! "HEY! WHAT?" Kelly screamed as the arm pulled him in the locker, slamming the door in the process. The other students' jaws dropped.

"Man, that book actually worked." The Goth kid grinned.

Well, well, well! Looks like them Superstars are up to something! What insanity will happen next? What'll happen to the Superstars in the Danger Room? Will they get their video made? Will Duncan and Kelly ever get a break? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	60. Groupie Attack!

**The Starr Chronicles**

**Author's Note: Hello to all my fans! This is L1701E! Sadly, due to new rules, authors are no longer allowed to write responses to their reviewers, so there will be no more review responses written by me. I hope this doesn't stop anyone from reviewing my stories, because I do appreciate your reading and reviews. Thank you for understanding, and enjoy this new chapter!**

**Disclaimer: "Oh. My. GOD!" - Joey Styles**

Chapter 60: Groupie Attack!

**The Brotherhood House**

"Aw, huh huh huh…huh huh…God…" Pietro Maximoff drooled happily at the television. It was his favorite program, _Girls in Tiny Swimsuits_. "God…One day, those girls will be mine…Oh yes, they will be mine…and I'll live happily ever after…sigh…" A door slamming was heard. Wanda Maximoff angrily stormed by.

"Here!" She snapped, thrusting a full white plastic bag into Pietro's lap.

"OOF!" Pietro huffed. "What's your…" He turned around to snap at her, but he ended up withering like a dying flower under his twin sister's glare. "…I'll shut up now." The speedster shrank to the front of the couch, shuddering.

"Lazy punk, can't get anything himself, considering he can race downtown in a quarter-second." The hexcaster muttered as she walked up the stairs. She noticed Todd sitting in the hall, typing on a laptop. She had to admit, meeting that water-controlling girl in Miami had worked wonders. Todd had someone else to obsess over. She blinked at the toad-like mutant, happily typing.

"Writing to that girl again, Toad?"

"Yup." Toad nodded. "You know, Craig is out making a video with the guys in the band if you're looking for him." Wanda rolled her eyes.

"I'm _not_ looking for Craig." Wanda muttered.

**The Xavier Institute**

_This is the weirdest day of my life._ Ororo "Storm" Munroe mumbled to herself as she led the Superstars toward the Danger Room.

"What's the video gonna be again?" John wondered.

"It's basically the band on a stage, John." Lance told the crazy Australian pyrokinetic. "Nothing too fancy. It's only our first video."

"Too bad we couldn't do it at a club. We're too young." Paul sighed. "I called every club in town."

"Are we gonna set any fires in the video?" John grinned happily.

"No, John!" The other Superstars snapped at the blond Australian.

"You guys are mean…" John pouted. The Superstars passed by a room. Tabitha and Amara looked up from the video game they were playing. They squealed and jumped up to their feet. At speeds rivaling light, they raced out of the room and glomped Paul, big grins on their faces.

"Hi, girls." Paul grinned.

"Hi, Starchild." Tabby and Amara chorused happily.

"You know Craig, your brother once promised me he'd show me how to get chicks like that once." John whispered to Craig.

"I highly doubt that my brother's talent with women is a learnable skill." Craig muttered. He glared at his twin brother. _Paul, can you get rid of your groupies? We got work to do!_

_What's the rush, dear brother?_ Paul grinned back through his telepathic link. _Want to get back home for some snuggle time with Wanda?_ Craig mentally growled.

_PAUL, SHUT UP!_ Darkstar snapped, cutting the telepathic link between the brothers. _Razzum__ frazzum telepathic link.__ I **hate** it!_

"Why are you here, Paul?" Tabby blinked.

"Yeah…" Amara realized. Then she noticed Paul was in his Superstars costume. "And why are you in your band costume?"

"Who cares? He's here." Tabby grinned. "Paul's here! Whoo-hoo!"

"The Superstars wish to use the Danger Room to make a set for their music video." Storm explained. Tabby and Amara's eyes widened.

"Three…two…one." Lila counted down on her fingers. Tabby and Amara let out a huge squeal of delight.

"AAAAAAAARGH!" Logan yelled. He was on the roof, attaching a satellite dish, evidently giving up on the search for Jubilee. "MY EARS!" He covered his ears with his hands, but the quick action suddenly caused him to slip and fall off the roof with a THUD! "Ohhh…"

"A **_video?_**" Tabitha exclaimed. "As in, a **_music video?_**"

"No, a video displaying stupid criminals." Craig grumbled. "What do you think?" The mutant bassist crossed his arms impatiently.

"It's just a simple performance video. You know, us on a stage." Lance sighed.

"Can we be in it? Can we?" Amara begged. "Can we can we can we can we pleeeeeeeease?" She and Tabby started jumping up and down, begging.

"Wow. Can you get them to do tricks?" John joked with a snicker.

"Shut up, Pyro." Lance groaned.

"Tabby! Amara! Leave those hoods alone!" Scott snapped as he walked in.

"Oh look, it's Summers, the **non**-rockstar." Lance joked. Scott glared at the geokinetic.

"At least _I'm_ not wearing ridiculous makeup." Scott cracked.

"Ridiculous?" Lance put on a look of mock horror. "Oh God! He called my awesome face paint ridiculous. I don't think _she_ would agree with that." Scott turned around and he saw Kitty staring at him. And the phaser did not look too happy.

"You think Lance's face paint is _ridiculous?_" Kitty snarled.

"Man, she **really** digs the fact that you're a rockstar." Paul said to Lance.

"Of course." Lance ran a hand through his long brown hair. "Put on the white leather and the silver makeup and I have Kitty in the palm of my hand. She just can't keep her hands off me dressed like this." A crunch was heard.

"In that outfit, you also bring out her lust for the blood of those who dare to insult your outfit." Lila snickered.

"OH GOD KITTY WHAT ARE YOU DOING THAT HURTS OW MAMMA!" Scott screamed as Kitty started mauling. It wasn't the good type of mauling, like she gave Lance. "AUGH HELP ME! STORM OW WHY OW ARE OW YOU OW STANDING OW THERE OW GAPING OW HELP ME!"

**_CRUNCH!_**

"Oh that's not right…" John winced.

"Eww." Lance retched. "Kitty, you didn't need to do **that!** I may not like Summers, but even _he_ doesn't deserve _that!_"

"Whoa." Craig whistled in an impressed manner. "I've seen gangs in LA do some brutal stuff, but never anything like _that!_"

"HELP ME OW!" Scott screamed. "OH GOD **KITTY!**"

"Ugh…" Lila winced. "I've seen space bikers beat people up in brutal manners, but Shadowcat here could give **them** lessons! Eww…"

"Ugh…" Tabby and Amara winced.

**The Danger Room**

Paul was sitting in the control panel, Storm next to him.

"How do you do this? I want to create a stage!" Paul grinned.

"We only normally use the Danger Room to train our students, not to create music videos." Storm shook her head. She noticed Hank walk in. "Ah. Hank, the Superstars here…" Beast looked down and saw Lance, Lila, John, and Craig. The first three started cracking goofy faces at him. "…they want to use the Danger Room's new holographic technology to create a music video."

"It's a simple video. Just us on stage." Paul explained.

"But…what about us?" Tabby whimpered.

"Yeah. We wanna be in a video." Amara pouted.

"That's how girls reacted to _me_ back when I was his age." Hank snickered. Ororo rolled her eyes.

**The Bayville video store**

Duncan walked out of a local video store, carrying a couple movies.

"Aw yeah, good viewing tonight." Duncan grinned to himself, looking at his selections. "The Waterboy, Football's Greatest Tackles, and the NFL's Ultimate Bonecrushings Vol. 1." He passed by an open manhole. "Man, those sewer workers really need to learn to close up after they're done AGH!" A crocodile leapt out of the open manhole and started mauling Duncan. "ARGH! HELP ME! SAVE ME! MY LEG! NOOOOOO! MAMAAAAAA!"

**A road**

Out on a back road, Principal Kelly was pulled over on the side. A police car was right behind him.

"Is there a problem, officer?" Kelly asked the officer who was walking up to his car.

"Well, boy…" The officer started. "You see, we…" He heard a screeching. The cop turned around, and his eyes widened. "HOLY-!" He jumped out of the way.

"AH!" Kelly screamed as a driverless, out-of-control car crashed into his car, sending both cars and a screaming Kelly careening into a ditch. A couple more cars came out of nowhere and crashed into Kelly's car. "Ohhh…"

**_KABOOM!_**

"AIEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Well, well, well! Looks like our heroes are just out to have a little video fun! What insanity will happen next? Can our heroes get their video done? Will Tabby and Amara be in it? Will Duncan and Kelly ever get a break? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	61. Groupie Growth!

**The Starr Chronicles**

**Disclaimer: "I'm a monsteeeerrrrr!" - Stewie, Family Guy**

Chapter 61: Groupie Growth!

**The Brotherhood Boarding House, Bayville**

"Ugh!" Pietro Maximoff moaned. He was lying back on the couch in the Brotherhood's Boarding House living room. Todd and Fred looked at him.

"Man, you look bad, yo." Todd grimaced.

"What happened to you?" Fred winced. Pietro scowled at the two mutants.

"What do you think?" Pietro snapped. "I was just walking by when those morons in the football team grabbed me and locked me in the back of a truck, and they threw raw chickens at me!"

"We **warned** you, yo." Todd groaned. "I told you it was a bad idea to flirt with the players' girlfriends. Man, you should listen to me, yo! I know what it's like."

"What amazes me is that they were actually **_smart_** enough to do that to you, Pietro." Fred shook his head.

"Oh, ha ha." Pietro muttered sarcastically. He then started to whine. "I look _terrible!_ I look like _Toad!_" Todd sneered.

"At least I can **see** through these bulgy eyes!" Todd grunted indignantly, pointing at his eyes. "And my eyes aren't swollen, red, and ooze out pus, either! And Althea thinks I my eyes are cute." He hopped off.

"Toad? TOAD? TOAD! Come back here! I'm yelling at you! When I yell at you, I expect your self-esteem to be shattered! I order you to come back here so I can yell at you and shatter your pathetic self-esteem! TOOOOOAD!" Fred shook his head and walked away.

_Man, Pietro needs to calm his speedy hyperactive self down. Granny always says, you should stop to smell the flowers every so often._ The door of the Brotherhood House burst open, and a drunken man dressed like an escapee from an insane asylum ran in, hooting and firing a gun into the air.

"FREEEEEEDOM!" He screamed. Fred shook his head.

"Weirdo."

"OH GOD! WHAT'RE YOU DOING! WHO ARE YOU HELP ME!" Pietro's screams were heard. Fred started to think.

_Let's see…_Fred pondered his choices. _Should I help him? Granny told me I should always help those who need it…but then again, Pietro's surived weirder stuff than this._ Fred's face formed a smile. _Ah, I'll leave him. He can take care of himself. He's a big boy._

**The Xavier Institute**

Paul and Craig Starr stood to the sides of the door of the room Tabby and Amara shared. Sounds of chatter and clothes changing were heard.

"This is ridiculous!" Craig grumbled.

"What is?" Paul blinked at his twin brother.

"**_This!_**" Craig growled agitatedly, pointing at the door. "We have to make a video, and those blasted X-Groupies are holding us up!"

"We're rockers, Craig. This is part of it." Paul reassured. "Besides, Tabitha and Amara don't mean any harm."

"Amara, what about this one?" Tabby's voice was heard through the door.

"Tabby, that dress is _scandalous!_" Amara was heard in response.

"Not like I was planning to let Starchild leave the Mansion in his current state, anyway." Tabby snickered.

"Oh, man…" Craig sighed.

"We're all ready to go." Lance announced as he walked up to the Starr Brothers. He was dragging one leg behind him. You see, Kitty was glomping his leg.

"HE'S MINE!" Kitty screeched at the door. "YOU WENCHES CAN'T HAVE HIM! HE'S MINE! MINE MINE MINE!" She gripped Lance's leg tighter.

"Kitty…" Lance winced. "Can you let go of my leg, please? I'm starting to lose feeling in it."

"I like, wanna be like, soooo in the video with you, Lance!" Kitty squealed.

"Not another one!" Craig moaned.

"Craig doesn't want the girls to be in the video." Paul explained.

"It was supposed to be a simple performance video, for the love of God!" Craig groaned.

"You got a plan for this, Paul?" Lance blinked at Paul. The raven-haired mutant shrugged.

"Yup. We have to make a little addition, but we can fit the girls in. Besides, the song is appropriate." Paul snickered.

"Yeah. 'Strutter'." Lance chuckled. "What's your plan?"

"Well, I was thinking." Paul smiled. "The song is called 'Strutter'. We can update the concept. The video can have scenes of a band performing, and the X-Girls walking the runway."

"Now all we need to do is hope none of the girls develop a Janice Dickinson complex." Craig scowled. "That'll a real _peachy_ task."

"Hey, what's going on here?" Rogue walked in, Jean not far behind. "Paul? What're you doin' in your band outfit?"

"Oh for the love of everything holy!" Craig roared in impatience.

"Wait a minute…I just realized something!" Lance realized.

"What?" Craig wondered.

"What's going on here?" Jean crossed her arms. Kitty got up.

"The Superstars are going to make a video, and us girls are going to be in it!" Kitty squealed. "Paul said we could!"

"Hey wait a minute-!" Craig started. Jean and Rogue looked at each other, and then they squealed. "Oh, man!"

"Anyway, what did you realize?" Paul asked Lance.

"Well, to make a video, we need someone to film. Who's going to do that?" Lance inquired.

"Lila and John told me they got someone to do it." Paul remembered.

"Who?" Lance blinked. He heard yelling in the background.

"Out of my way! Out of my way!" Jamie Madrox snapped. The young mutant known as Multiple was dressed in horse rider's pants, a khaki shirt, a red neckerchief, black boots, dark sunglasses, and a black beret. "I must get to the danger room so I can create magic!" Lance blinked.

"You're kidding me." Lance groaned. "The _kid?_" Paul shrugged.

"Lila likes him."

"I…see…" Lance sighed. "We're dead."

"No kidding." Craig grunted. "Man, this video will _never_ get made!"

"Maybe we should head to the Danger Room to see if Lila and John are done setting up." Paul suggested. Lance and Craig looked at the chattering Kitty, Rogue, and Jean.

"I'm all for that." Lance nodded. "Anything to avoid getting glomped to death by Kitty again." He whispered.

"I'm with Lance on this one." Craig muttered. "We can still make the video very simple. Just get to the Danger Room before the girls spot us."

"Let's go." Lance muttered.

_Hey Craig…_Paul grinned, activating his telepathic link with his twin brother. _Maybe we should ask Wanda if we can be in the video._

**Downtown Bayville**

"Ahh…" Duncan Matthews smiled as he walked down the street. "What a lovely day, man. And me and the boys even got to take down one of those Brotherhood clowns. Life is good." He walked by a piano shop that was using a pulley set up to hoist in a piano. The rope started to snap as Duncan walked under the piano.

"Hey look out!" Someone yelled.

"Huh?" Duncan looked up. The rope snapped, and the piano fell on Duncan. "OWWWWWCH!"

"OH GOD!" An employee yelled out in horror. "Someone call an ambulance!"

"I am Ludwig von Beethoven." Duncan could be heard mumbling from under the piano. "I am a pianist. Get out of my recording studio!"

**A local batting cage**

Principal Kelly was practicing his swing in a cage.

"Oh yeah." Kelly smiled to himself. "Edward Sosa steps up to plate. The score is tied, bases are loaded, and it's the bottom of the ninth." The pitching machine fired a ball. "The pitch…" He swung. Kelly hit the ball, and it was sent flying. He grinned widely. "And it's going deep into the outfield! Holy Cow, I think it's a homer!" He got interrupted by the sight of the ball machine making loud noises and shaking very hard. Sparks flew out of it with a BUZZ BUZZ, and smoke erupted from the machine. "What the-?" The machine started firing balls at a rapid pace. "HEY WHAT OW! HEY! HELP ME! OW! OH MAMA THAT HURTS! AIEEEEEEEEE! MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP! SHUT IT OFF! SHUT IT OFF! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, SHUT IT OFF!"

Well, well, well! Looks like our heroes have to make some changes to the video. What insanity will happen next? Will the X-Girls make the video a hit? Will Kelly and Duncan ever get a break? Will Pietro recover from his malady? Where the heck was Wanda in all this? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	62. Video Time!

**The Starr Chronicles**

**Disclaimer: "I almost didn't do it!" - Stewie, Family Guy**

Chapter 62: Video Time!

**The Brotherhood House**

"Hello?" Pietro Maximoff, the superfast Brotherhood member codename Quicksilver, was sitting in the living room of the Brotherhood house. His eyes had swollen shut and were red thanks to a chicken infection. "Hello?" He noticed he was all alone. He assumed that because he couldn't see anything, and he hadn't heard anyone. "Hello? Anyone?" He got up and started trying to walk into the kitchen, waving his arms about in an attempt to feel his way around. "I need my penicillin! Did you get it yet, Fred AUGH!" Pietro stumbled over a chair. "Okay…Let me just feel my way YIKES!" He stumbled into a hat rack. "OW!" As he got up, a piece of ceiling fell on top of him. He rubbed his head and walked into the door. "AUGH!" He opened the door, which led outside. "Is this the kitchen? Hello?"

"Hey, heads up!" A voice yelled from outside.

"Huh? AGH!" Pietro got nailed in the mouth by a baseball. "FRED! WHERE ARE YOU GUYS! Ow…"

**The Danger Room**

"Wow!" Paul's eyes widened in amazement. "The Danger Room sure works wonders!"

"And it sure is nice using it for something besides training." Hank "Beast" McCoy chuckled from the control room.

"Really?" Ororo "Storm" Munroe crossed her arms and shot a very amused look at Hank. "You do not count the times you use it to confer with Albert Einstein?" The Beast's cheeks reddened and he put on an embarrassed look.

"I…I…I refuse to answer to that remark on the grounds that it may incriminate me." Hank mumbled out quickly. The other four members of the Superstars walked in and looked at the stage.

"Oh…my…God…" Lance looked around at the hologram-generated stage. It looked like something the legendary rock band KISS would use. It was a large two-level stage with a black floor that was decorated with rainbow-colored diagonal lines, and two platforms on the sides. The back of the stage was covered with lights, and it had a billboard with the Superstars' logo on it. "Maybe I shouldn't be so hard on you X-Nerds."

"You like?" Paul grinned.

"Sweet!" John whooped. "Man, you X-Blokes have more style than I thought."

"I am impressed." Lila nodded. Craig only nodded with an "Mm."

"Let's set up the instruments, you guys." Lance nodded. Meanwhile, Logan had entered the control room, alongside Kitty.

"You see, Mr. Logan? I like, totally told you! They're making a video!" Kitty grinned happily.

"Hi, Logan." Hank and Ororo greeted.

"Look at Lance, Mr. Logan? Doesn't he look _dreamy_ in that white leather?" Kitty sighed happily. Logan rolled his eyes.

"What's going on here?"

"Making a music video." Ororo answered. "I have to admit, at least they're not causing trouble."

"Yeah, yeah." Logan grunted.

"Are you worried about Katherine?" Ororo smiled. Logan grunted.

"I don't like the way she drools over that Alvers kid."

"Oh, relax." Ororo chuckled. "She's just caught up in that…what do they call it…"

"Rockstar mystique." Hank answered. The two looked at him. "What? I was a teenager once myself, you know."

"Whoa." Lance blinked.

"Hey!" Paul yelled up at the control room. "How's everything up there?"

"Fine!" Hank waved.

"Hey Hank, can they make it quick? I gotta use this thing later." Logan grunted.

"Oh, Mr. Logan! Don't be like, mean!" Kitty pouted.

"Alright, alright!" Jamie walked in, carrying a folded-up director's chair and a megaphone.

"Oh great, he thinks he's Steven Spielberg!" Logan groaned.

"I think it's cute." Ororo smiled.

"Alright!" Jamie said to the Superstars. "Now, the whole point of this video is basically saying who you guys are and what you're about as a band. What's your philosophy?"

"Uh…that we're the greatest band ever?" John blinked.

"Man, if my old gang mates saw me doing this, they'd either laugh their heads off or shoot me. Most likely shoot me then laugh." Craig shook his head.

"Several of the guys in your old gang could barely tie their own shoelaces." Paul blinked.

"They may have been dumb Paul, but they knew how to follow the orders of the smarter guys." Craig grunted.

"What were your old gang called again?" Lila chuckled.

"The Ravers." Craig answered. He glared at a snickering Lila. "Trust me, Lila. There are gangs out there with worse names. We had a couple skirmishes with a gang called the Smiley-Faces."

"Coming from LA, I'm surprised you weren't with the Bloods or the Crips." John blinked.

"They're not the only gangs in LA." Craig rolled his eyes. "Those two are only the most well-known. There's plenty other gangs out there."

"Hey, I'm talking to you!" Jamie snapped at the three mutants.

"Look kid, we're here to play for the video, so bring out the camera, and let's roll already!" Craig grunted.

"Don't like the spotlight much, huh Craig?" John snickered as Jamie took the camera. Craig only grunted in response. Jamie got the camera ready.

"And action!" Jamie called out. The band started playing their cover of the KISS song "Strutter".

"So far, so good." Hank smiled. Kitty was leaning on the control panel, smiling and drooling at Lance playing in his costume. She drooled on the control panel. Hank noticed that. "Oh, my stars and garters! Kitty!" That call snapped Kitty out of her daze. She looked at Hank in a confused manner.

"Huh?" Kitty blinked in a confused manner. She noticed some electricity jump about on the control panel. "What's that?"

"It's got a short!" Hank exclaimed. "Look out!" Sparks flew from the control panel, and the part that Kitty had drooled on exploded. "Uh oh…" The stage started to ripple and warp.

"Hank, shut it off!" Ororo and Logan yelled.

"I can't!" Hank yelled back!

"Oh my God!" Kitty covered her hands with her mouth in shock. "Like, oh my God! Lance! And the guys!"

"Hey, what's going on here?" Lila exclaimed.

"Oh, this kind of thing is never good…" Craig grumbled.

"Man, who's doing this?" Pyro mumbled queasily. "The special effects are making me ill."

"Aw man, this is awesome!" Jamie grinned, pointing his camera.

"You think this is AWESOME?" Lance groaned. The stage warped into a jungle.

"Why do I get the feeling that this is not part of the program?" Paul blinked. A very loud roar was heard. "Okay, that is **_definitely_** not part of the program." The ground started to shake.

"Don't look at me!" Lance held up his hands. Pyro eyed a conveniently-placed glass of water. He watched the water ripple with the shaking.

"Uh oh…"

**Kelly's House**

Principal Kelly was eating cereal in the kitchen in his house.

"Hmm…this cereal tastes funny." Kelly mumbled to himself, scrunching his face suspiciously. He noticed a paw in it and he looked up. He saw a bear on the table. "OH MY GOD! THERE'S A BEAR IN MY CEREAL!" The bear snarled and jumped on the principal. The bear started mauling him. "AHHHHH! OH MY GOD! MOMMY! HELP ME! OW OW OW OW OW OW! CLAWS HURT!"

**A local talk show**

Duncan Matthews was sitting on the chair, mugging for the camera. He was on a public access show that was done by Bayville High's Audio/Visual club. The set was simplistic, basically three chairs and a desk with a sign.

"So tell us, Mr. Matthews, what's the secret of the Bayville Hawks' success?" The host, a red-haired kid in a suit, asked from a card.

"Well…" Duncan smirked. "I think the secret to the Hawks' success is simply-" A snapping noise was heard above the jock, and a spotlight landed on Duncan's head, and it started electrocuting him. "OH MY GOD OW HELP ME HEY AAAAAAAARGH! MOMMY!"

Well, well, well! Looks like our heroes have gotten themselves into big-time trouble! What insanity will happen next? What was that roar? Can our heroes fix this up? Will Kelly and Duncan ever get a break? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	63. Robot Troubles!

**The Starr Chronicles**

**Author's Note: Hey there, fans! L1701E here! Guess what? We can respond again! Whoo-hoo! So, here are the first review responses in quite some time:**

_To Sparky Genocide: Hey there, Sparky! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Heh heh, you just liked the last prank that the Brotherhood did to J. Jonah Jameson, didn't you? That sounds like a funny idea. I think I'll keep it for the next time the gang go to NYC. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To todd fan: Hey there, todd fan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, it was pretty funny, that whole remark. You can use that if you want. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Gifts and Curses" and "Fourteenth Century Man"!_

_To Firefly25: Hey there, Firefly! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, Kitty screwed this up big time. I had something really good in mind for this. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for more chapters of "Reindeer Flotilla"!_

_To Aaron: Hey there, Aaron! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Murphy's Law always does seem to follow the Brotherhood and X-Men around, huh? Heh heh. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there, Red Witch! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! I read the new chapter of "Evolution XMJ" and I loved it! Looks like X-Factor is causing problems for the X-Men…and they never even met yet! I got something big in mind for this chapter! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Evolution XMJ"!_

_To RogueFanKC: Hey there, Rogue Fan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, Pietro torture is fun. It's really fun to do. It's kind of like __Jurassic__Park__…only different. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Truth, Justice, and the Last Cup of BA's coffee"!_

**Disclaimer: "Can we get women on this show?" - Colin Mockerey, Who's Line is it Anyway?**

Chapter 63: Robot Troubles!

**The Danger Room**

"This is going to be the best video _ever!_" Jamie Madrox grinned as he pointed the camera at the disoriented Superstars.

"If we _survive_ it." John grumbled. The pyrokinetic Australian muttered as he picked up his drums. "These things aren't cheap, you know!"

"How convenient for him to forget about the quakes." Craig grumbled, struggling to remain on his feet. The jungle trees around them shuddered and shivered with the quakes.

"I hope it's a T-Rex, just like in the movie!" Jamie grinned widely, still keeping his camera on the band.

"I don't see any theme park attractions around here, so I highly doubt it." Paul quipped.

"Kid, stop!" Lance grunted. "You tryin' to get us killed or sonething…" A shadow came over the group. "Oh, man…"

"Flamin' Frehley's Comet." Paul gulped nervously at the shadow. The Superstars and Jamie looked up. They saw the shadow's source. The young mutants and the adults' jaws hit the floor.

"You have _got_ to be kidding." Craig groaned.

"How did _that_ get in there?" Hank blinked.

"Is that…a…" Logan blinked. "What is that?"

"It looks like…a gorilla." Storm blinked.

"A _robot_ gorilla?" Both Logan and Craig yelped in unison unintentionally. Standing above them was a gigantic robotic gorilla. Its body was mainly black with white around the chest and lower arms and legs, and purple feet and hands. Its head was black with a purple muzzle lined with sharp white teeth. Instead of eyes, the gorilla had a rd shades-like visor.

"And it _stinks!_" Lila scrunched her face, waving her hand in front of it. The robotic gorilla roared.

"Why do I get the feeling that I saw that thing in a cartoon?" Paul blinked.

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!" The giant robotic gorilla roared, pounding its chest with its fists.

"Now how in the world did _that_ thing get in the simulation files?" Hank scratched his head, confusion evident on his blue furry face.

"How do you _think_, Blueboy?" Logan muttered in anger and exasperation, pointing at Jamie with his thumb. "Quarter-Pint over there is a _lot_ more computer-literate than we thought." Kitty quickly twiddled her thumbs.

_I just hope that they don't figure out that I helped him._ Kitty gulped. More stomping was heard.

"Uh oh…" Lance turned around. "Not another one."

"What now? We got a robotic King Kong over there! What next, Mecha-Godzilla?" Craig grunted. Another giant robot leapt out of the woods. It appeared to be a gigantic gray robotic tyrannosaurus rex with blue eyes, gold talons and tail tip.

"Another robot dinosaur. Wonderful." Lance moaned.

"Robot dinosaurs make me shiver." John shuddered.

"…Shut up, Pyro." Craig growled.

"Me Grimlock smash Apeface!" The robotic dinosaur yelled, smashing the giant robotic ape with a headbutt. The two giant robots crashed to the ground, causing a small earthquake, and nearly landing on the six mutants.

"Hey, watch it!" Craig snapped at the robots.

"I don't think they even _notice_ us." Paul blinked at the robots. The ape, Apeface, was throwing punches, while the T-rex, Grimlock, was slashing and biting.

"Oh, I remember where this is from now!" Jamie grinned in realization. "This is from my Transformers game!"

"WHAT?" Everyone yelled.

"Ooh boy…" Kitty winced. "Like, _this_ is _not_ going to be good…"

"I used the Danger Room to make me a video game." Jamie blinked. "What? It can be done."

"YOU USED THE DANGER ROOM TO MAKE A **VIDEO GAME?**" Logan yelled angrily. "QUARTER-PINT! YOU LITTLE…" Storm started to drag away the cursing, yelling, and ranting Logan.

"Come on Logan, let's take you outside for some air…"

"What?" A confused Jamie blinked. "It's not like I'm the only one. Scott has a racing game on this thing, Sam has a farming game, Kurt takes the place of Pac-Man, Rogue has…"

"Man, you X-Nuts need hobbies!" Craig snapped.

"Look out!" Lance yelled. The six mutants dodged a tree that was kicked up in the fight.

"That's it! I've had _enough_ of this garbage!" Craig roared angrily, his right eye glowing with purple light. He fired his eye laser at the robots. He managed to hit Apeface in the visor, making the robot roar.

"Craig, you moron!" Lila exclaimed. Apeface threw Grimlock off, and transformed into his robot form. He looked down at the six mutants.

"Nice work, Craig. Thanks a lot." Lance muttered dryly at the ex-gang member.

"Oh, shut up Avalanche."

**Bayville****Park**

"Ah…" Principal Kelly smiled as he sat down on a bench next to a tree. "Now this is a nice way to spend a day." He took out a book from his pocket and started to read it. The hapless principal heard a noise. He looked at the tree, and saw a squirrel run out of it. "Oh. Just a squirrel." He pulled out a bag of peanuts and opened it. Suddenly, a pack of squirrels ran out of the tree and jumped on Kelly. "AAAAAGH! HELP ME!"

**A construction site**

Duncan Matthews walked by a construction site.

"I'd better be careful here, considering what happened to me last time." Duncan mumbled to himself, walking faster.

"Look out!" Someone yelled.

"Huh?" Duncan stopped and turned around. His eyes widened when he saw a wrecking ball. A wrecking ball that was swinging towards him. "Oh…no…"

**_WHAM!_**

Well, well, well! Looks like our heroes have gotten themselves into quite a strange pickle! What insanity will happen next? Can our favorite all-mutant glam-metal band beat a giant transforming robot? What're the adults doing up there? Will Kitty get found out? Will Kelly and Duncan ever get a break? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	64. Danger Room Weirdness!

**The Starr Chronicles**

_To Chiomon: Hey there, Chiomon! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Well, I was really planning just for the Superstars to get caught in the brawl between the Transformers called Grimlock and Apeface. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Aaron: Hey there, Aaron! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Oh yeah, it would be one great video…That is, if the Superstars don't kill Jamie for making the Danger Room game that caused this mess! Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Dante Tigerwolf: Hey there, Dante! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, I can see Rogue battling Metroids, considering she likes kicking butt, and I can **definitely** see Amara being into a SimCity-type game, considering the fact that she is next in line to rule a civilization. SimCity is great practice! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "The Z Project" and "The Savage Creed"!_

_To todd fan: Hey there, todd fan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, killer squirrels are funny. I had a laugh writing the scene. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Gifts and Curses" and "Fourteenth Century Man"!_

_To Firefly25: Hey there, Firefly! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, Xavier should really look into the monetary possibilities of marketing the tech. Especially if he retains the ownership rights. The royalties from all three major game companies would make him drool. I gotta see that fanart. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Reindeer Flotilla"!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there, Red Witch! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! I read the new chapter of "Evolution XMJ", and I loved it! Yeah, I was kind of expecting Power Pack to show up. And the Lizard? Oh, man…Anyway, I saw the original with Gene Wilder. I love that version. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Evolution XMJ"!_

_To RogueFanKC: Hey there, Rogue Fan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, I can imagine that the X-Men would find a way to pull off making the Danger Room into a video game. College is fine. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "For Truth, Justice, And The Last Cup of BA's Coffee"!_

_To the pilot of eva unit 04: Hey there, eva! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Oh yeah, I'm glad you like it! Enjoy the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "They go up." - Bill Murray as Peter Venkman, Ghostbusters**

Chapter 64: Danger Room Weirdness!

**The Brotherhood Boarding House, Bayville**

"Hello…" Pietro wandered around upstairs. "Hello…I can barely see…where are you guys…I'm lonely…" The speedster heard a door close. "COMPANY!" The speedster ran down the hall, and he screamed as he tumbled down the stairs. "Ow ooh oh oof ow oh that'll hurt AIEEEEEE ow oof ow ow ow ow oh ooh ouch OW!" He landed in a heap in front of the Blob. Fred was standing at the front door, holding several grocery bags. He looked down at Pietro and shook his head.

"Man, that's why we told you not to wander around the house." Fred sighed. "I got you some penicillin…for your chicken infection…"

"Joy…" Pietro moaned weakly. "Sweet penicillin…"

**The Danger Room, the Xavier Institute**

"_WAAAAAAAAAAH!_" The five members of the Superstars screamed as they raced through the jungle. A very ticked off Apeface, in his gorilla form, was chasing after them.

"APEFACE SMASH HUMANS!" Apeface roared, pounding his fists into the ground in an attempt to squish the five young mutants.

"Take this, you dirty ape!" Craig yelled, firing his eye laser. It only ticked off the giant robot.

"Oh man, this is the best video _ever!_" Jamie grinned, sitting on a palm tree. He was filming them. "This will be my masterpiece! …Okay, it's my first video. But it's one heck of a start!"

"What're those X-Nuts doing up there, sitting back and eating popcorn?" Lila snapped. Meanwhile, Beast and Ororo, who were doing exactly that, looked at each other.

"Nuts." They muttered, throwing their bags of popcorn.

"I was hoping that we'd get to see some robot fight before Kitty got back." Hank sighed. Kitty ran back in, holding a bunch of disks. "What're those?"

"Games we made." Kitty answered.

"Maybe we can use things from those games to help the Superstars." Ororo suggested.

"WHAT'RE YOU ALL ON, A COFFEE BREAK?" Lance's scream rang out.

"Give me those CD's!" Hank ordered. Kitty did so. Meanwhile, inside, the Superstars were still running. "Help is on the way!"

"Huh?" John blinked. The sky turned into a black sky dotted by stars, and the ground appeared to change into the surface of the moon. Several small cities popped up in the background. "This is strange. I had a dream like this once?"

"How did it end?" Paul blinked.

"I got turned into a dolly." John grinned.

"Oy…" Lila pinched the bridge of her nose in annoyance.

"Oh, boy." Lance looked around. Apeface snarled.

"Now I _crush_ you!" Apeface raised his fists. Suddenly, several beams of neon green light hit the robot, making it scream.

"Look!" Lance pointed upwards. Several spaceships, which looked like they came from the old-school 8-bit games, strafed the big ape, blasting at him. "Oh look, we got knocked into Galaga." The other four Superstars looked at him. "What? Galaga is in the arcade at the mall." He looked around. "I like that game. It's one of my favorites. I kick butt in it. No one can beat my high score."

"Are you alright?" Hank called out.

"Can you make us some giant mutant pigeons with dinosaur heads for the video?" John waved. Lance smacked him upside the head. "What?" The five heard stomping. They turned and saw Grimlock run up to the bunch. "Uh oh…"

"Me Grimlock save humans!" Grimlock yelled.

"Oh yeah, he's one of the good guys." Paul remembered. Grimlock leapt over the kids and slammed into Apeface with a football-style tackle.

"Ohhhhhhhhh, that's _gotta_ hurt!" Hank winced.

"Oh man, this video RULES!" Jamie grinned, filming all the action, including the 8-bit spaceships blasting Apeface.

"Kid, you got problems, you know that?" Craig scowled at the young multiplier. "You _really_ need to get off the sugar."

"Lance, you alright?" Kitty wondered.

"Oh, I'm fine I JUST GOT TRAPPED IN A BAD 1980S FLASHBACK HERE!" Lance howled in indignation.

"Could be worse." Paul shrugged. "You be trapped in a Danger Room simulation based on The Brady Bunch." Lance shuddered.

"Bradys. Ugh."

"I've seen that show!" John grinned. "Has anyone noticed that Jan has voices in her head? Y'know, like she could snap out of nowhere one day and become a serial killer?"

"You know Ororo, now that he mentions it, Jan Brady _does_ have that 'Future-Psycho-Killer' aura about her…" Hank scratched his chin, a thoughtful expression forming on his blue fuzzy face.

"I cannot believe that you are talking about which old television characters will become serial killers at a time like this." Storm groaned. "It's ridiculous."

"It was just an observation!" John yelled up at them.

"And a pretty good one." Beast nodded.

"Somebody save 'em!" Kitty wailed.

"We're gonna die in here." Craig groaned. "What a way to go."

**Bayville High**

"Uhhh…" Principal Kelly muttered as he walked into the boys' room. "Man, I shouldn't have eaten that…" Escaping his notice, a couple pranksters raced out of the bathroom. A couple minutes later, an explosion could be heard from the bathroom, accompanied by screams. "AAAAAAAAAAAAGH! WHO PUT A CHERRY BOMB IN THE TOILETS?"

**A forest**

"Man, I hate nature hikes." Duncan Matthews grumbled as he dawdled behind the rest of the class. He was carrying a clipboard with a checklist on it. He scowled at it. "Man, who cares if we can tell these birds apart. Ugh." Duncan continued walking. He wasn't keeping his eyes ahead of him. "I mean, all those birds are the same. A bird is a bird. They all have beaks, they all have wings, and most of them know how to fly!" He started walking closer to a cliffside, but he didn't notice. "I mean, who cares about their colors, and size, and YIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!" He walked off the cliff.

Well, well, well! Looks like the insanity will continue! What madness will happen next? Will the Superstars ever get out? Did Jan Brady become a serial killer? Will Kelly and Duncan ever get a break? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	65. 8 Bit Insanity!

**The Starr Chronicles**

_To RogueFanKC Hey there, Rogue Fan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! I read the last chapter of "For Truth, Justice, And The Last Cup of BA's Coffee", and I loved it! Man, it sure was a heavy chapter! Oh, give Hank and Ororo a break. They have to find amusement **somewhere**. Oh yeah, I never did like the Bradys as a kid. I thought they were wusses. I'll be alright. I get a day off. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "For Truth, Justice, And The Last Cup of BA's Coffee"!_

_To Chiomon: Hey there, Chiomon! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, I can see Jan doing that. She had issues. Of course Grimlock would help. He's an Autobot. They're the good guys. Grimlock may be arrogant, cold, and merciless at times, but he's very valiant, and he's still an Autobot. Oh man, things will go wrong. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Kat: Hey there, Kat! Nice to hear from you! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! I'm very glad you liked the story. As for your question, I'm going to have to say that perhaps __Logan__ gave up trying to hunt down Jubilee. Besides, based on the bond those two share, I don't think __Logan__ could ever really kill Jubes. Wow. Thank you for the torture idea. I'll think I'll use it, heh heh. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To todd fan: Hey there, todd fan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! I read the new chapters of "Fourteenth Century Man", and I loved them! Man, Kurt is so lucky! Don't you worry, tf. More Duncan and Kelly torture is coming your way! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Gifts and Curses", and "Mutants Make Good Cowboys"!_

_To Dante Tigerwolf: Hey there, Dante! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! For some warped, twisted reason…I actually agree with you about Marsha Brady. Freaky, man. I agree, Kelly and Duncan should never get a break. And they won't. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "The Z Project", and "The Savage Creed"!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there, Red Witch! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, I could see Jan Brady as a serial killer. That idea rules. Oh yeah, the new version is said to be more faithful to the original book. Anyway, enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Evolution XMJ"!_

**Disclaimer: "I don't think cookies are going to make me better…" - Homer Simpson, the Simpsons.**

Chapter 65: 8 Bit Insanity!

**The Brotherhood House**

"Ah…" Pietro Maximoff smiled to himself. "Nothing like relaxation." Now that he had his penicillin, Pietro was laying on his bed. The chicken infection he had was showing signs that it was starting to clear up.

"Night-night, Pietro." Fred closed the door. He noticed Wanda leaning next to the door, reading a newspaper. He gulped. "Uh…hi, Wanda." Wanda looked at the large mutant.

"…Hey." Wanda shrugged, moving her eyes back to her paper.

"I…I never imagined you'd read newspapers." Fred blinked. Wanda shrugged.

"It was open, and an article caught my eye." The hexcaster answered. "Listen to this. According to the article, police in Illinois caught the Blonde Strangler."

"Blonde Strangler?" Fred blinked.

"A serial killer who strangled blonde women." Wanda explained. "Turned out it was a blonde woman herself. When police found her, she was twitching and muttering 'Marsha' over and over again."

"Wow." Fred blinked. Todd hopped up.

"Hey, what's up with Pietro, yo?" The amphibian-like mutant blinked.

"His chicken infection is starting to clear up." Fred reported. "He can see a little bit."

"Cool." Todd grinned evilly and hopped away. He pulled out a hockey mask and a plastic machete from his sweater as he left. Throughout the exchange, Wanda was still reading the paper.

"You know, now that he's not chasing me around and calling me snookums anymore, I'm actually finding him tolerable." Wanda piped up. Noises could be heard from Pietro's room. In particular, the sound of Todd yelling out "WAAAAAAH-BOOLA-BOOLA-BOOGIE-WOOGIE!", followed by the high-pitched screaming of Pietro, trying to get Fred and Wanda to get Todd out of his room.

"That's what ya get for dissin' me, yo!"

**The Xavier Institute**

Paul Starr watched an 8-bit line of Rockettes dance by.

"This simulation is getting weirder and weirder." The star-faced raven-haired mutant blinked. While Apeface and Grimlock brawled, the environment around them changed again, looking like someone had exploded an old 8-bit Nintendo game.

"That's Bobby's." Kitty explained. "He's a big fan of those old '80s games."

"Yeah." Lance noticed something funny: More 8-bit characters running by. "Hey, Ice Climbers!"

"Maybe we should use a different song for this, mates." John suggested.

"Yeah. Anybody in the mood to cover 'Pac-Man Fever'?" Lila quipped.

"I hate this." Craig grunted. "I knew this was a bad idea." He turned around and saw an odd black bird on a red magic carpet diving towards him, holding a bomb. Craig blasted the bomb with his eye laser. The bomb exploded, and the smoke cleared, revealing a roasted turkey on a charred magic carpet. The carpet fell to Earth like a rock. "That…was…stupid."

"What was that, mate?" John turned to the former street gang member. Craig shrugged.

"Just roasting some turkey." Craig shrugged.

"Man, this video is so going to ROCK!" Jamie grinned happily. Paul noticed the stage appear.

"Oh look, our stage is back." Paul noted.

"What are you lunatics waiting for?" Jamie exclaimed. "Get out there and sing something!"

"What? 'We Got The 8-Bit Blues'?" Lance quipped.

"Uh, fellas…" Lila pointed upwards. The Superstars looked up.

"Heads up!" Lance yelled. The five dove as barrels rained down upon them.

"Holy Donkey Kong…" Kitty moaned, putting her head on the control panel in the Danger Room. "Mr. McCoy, like, can you _please_ try and get them out of there?"

"I'm workin' on it, I'm workin' on it!" Beast groaned, typing on a keyboard.

"Bad Ape!" Lance snapped, creating an earthquake to try and shake the giant ape off his platform. Craig and Paul used their eye beams to blast away any barrels from them. John created a cage of fire to protect his bandmates. The giant ape on the platform struggled to stay on.

"Try this on for size!" John snapped.

"You ever notice that this is the first _real_ danger that we've encountered?" Lila noticed. "I mean, falling barrels."

"Super Mario had to start somewhere." Paul chuckled.

"Man, this program is screwed up." Beast muttered to himself as he typed furiously. "It won't friggin' shut off!" Ororo noticed a big red button on the control panel.

"Hey, uh…" Ororo piped up. "What does this button do?" Ororo pressed the button. The Danger Room shut off. The confused Superstars looked around.

"Man, that was weird." Lance scratched his head.

"Oh yeah…I forgot about that button, heh heh…" Beast chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his head.

**Bayville High**

Principal Kelly was getting a soda from a vending machine. He reached down to get it, when a monsterous paw reached up from the slot where the soda was, and grabbed Kelly's wrist. The principal screamed and tried to run away, but the paw dragged Kelly inside the machine. It shook with the sounds of screams and a fight.

**Duncan's House**

Duncan walked up to his mailbox. He opened it, and several attack dogs leapt out of the mailbox.

"ARGH! THAT'S IT!" Duncan yelled. He took a stick and started swiping at the dogs. "Take that! And that! Get off me, you mangy mutts!" He then heard a feminine scream.

"Look! That bully is attacking those dogs!"

"Huh?" Duncan blinked. "But ARGH!" A bunch of animal cruelty protesters leapt out of nowhere and beat the jock senselessly with their signs. "HEY WHAT OW THAT HURTS STOP HEY OW HELP ME OW SAVE ME AGH ARGH MOMMY!"

Well, well, well! Looks like the Superstars got out of a very weird situation in a weird way! What insanity will happen next? Will our heroes run into more insanity? Will Kelly and Duncan ever get a break? Will any other superheroes appear in this story? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	66. Band Fight!

**The Starr Chronicles**

_To Chiomon: Hey there, Chiomon! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Sorry about not including Optimus Prime, my man. I couldn't fit him in. Oh yeah, nothing stays normal for long. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Sparky Genocide: Hey there, Sparky! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Hey, thanks for the idea. I really do appreciate it. Yeah, I can see three members of the Superstars doing that. And I even know what they're going to argue about… Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To todd fan: Hey there, todd fan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Thanks for the compliment! Yeah, that was just a moment of random insanity I decided to put in. Enjoy the new chapter, have fun in university, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Gifts and Curses"!_

_To RogueFanKC: Hey there, Rogue Fan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, Hank would forget the big red button that ends up clearing up the whole thing. Heh heh, Todd torturing Pietro is funny. I'm a sucker for old-school games, so the references had to come in. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "For Truth, Justice, And The Last Cup of BA's Coffee."!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there, Red Witch! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, I could imagine Jan doing that as an adult, considering the way she acted in the series. Heh heh. Anyway, enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Evolution XMJ"!_

**Disclaimer: "You talkin' to me?" - Batista**

Chapter 66: Band Fight!

**The Brotherhood Institute**

"Illinois police finally caught the Blonde Strangler, a notorious serial killer whose M.O. was choking beautiful blonde women to death and duct-taping a football in their mouth. The Strangler's rampage ran through five states in the American Midwest, totaling 93 victims…" The newscaster on the TV announced. Todd Tolensky, the amphibious mutant known as the Toad, was watching the television.

"I wonder what the guys in the band are doin', yo?" Todd mumbled to himself. He heard a crashing upstairs. The frog-like mutant noticed a grumbling Wanda stomp down the stairs, then right by him, muttering.

"Razzum frazzum stupid Pietro always acting like a baby, whining and complaining over and over and over and over again…" Wanda muttered and snarled as she walked by. Todd shrugged.

"I'll ask later. Better for my health, yo." Todd mumbled to himself sagely. Meanwhile, a mailman was walking towards the front door of the Brotherhood House. Todd noticed Pietro stumble down the stairs, a furry brown cloak over him, face showing he got beaten up, and toothpaste around his mouth. The amphibian blinked as Pietro opened the door to try and pull himself up to his feet. He let out a moan, causing the mailman to scream, hit him with his mailbag, and run away.

**The Xavier Institute**

"Man, that was the _dumbest_ thing I had ever been through in my life!" Craig Starr groused. He, Lance Alvers, and St. John Allerdyce were sitting in the Xavier Institute's living room, arguing with Jamie Madrox.

"Okay, okay, okay!" Jamie held out his hands in a calming gesture. "Alright, so the video didn't quite turn out as planned…"

"Didn't _quite?_" Craig exclaimed. "We were _supposed_ to be doing a simple performance for the video! Just us on a stage!"

"Every rock band has done a video like that. It's a great way to show who we are." Lance agreed. "Instead, it ended up looking like a chaotic video game."

"I kind of liked it." John countered. "All we needed was fire."

"It didn't fit the song, you flaming psycho." Craig grumbled.

"Well, _I_ think that a simple performance video is cliché!" John argued back. "I can name ten bloody groups that use that video!"

"It's cliché, but it works." Lance argued. "It's a simple video."

"A simple video was what we wanted in the first place, Jamie!" Craig confirmed. While the three Superstars were arguing with Jamie, the X-Girls were watching from the door, worried looks on their faces.

"Oh mah God…" Rogue looked at Jean. "Ah hope they don't break up."

"That would be terrible." Jean nodded.

"Don't say that. _Please_ don't say that." Tabitha whimpered. Amara looked like she was about to cry. "I don't want the Superstars to break up!" Paul noticed the girls as he walked into the common room.

"Hey, girls. What's up?" The girls all turned around.

"_Pleeeeeeease_ don't let the band break up! Please!" The X-Girls all begged.

"What're you all taking about?" A confused Paul blinked. "Who told you the band was breaking up?"

"We…we…" Amara sniffled. "We heard Lance…and Craig…and John argue with Jamie…and each other…"

"Okay…" Paul blinked.

"They say arguments like this can cause bands to break up." Tabby whimpered. "PLEASE DON'T BREAK UP!"

"Uh…" Paul blinked. "They do it all the time. It took them three hours to agree on the video in the first place." The raven-haired LA native explained. "Craig wanted a simple performance video. Lance agreed, but he wanted to do something different so it wouldn't seem cliché. You know, have it done in space or something. John wanted something involving fire, naturally." The superstar started to chuckle. "Bands have arguments like this all the time. Heck, the Davies brothers, who are in the Kinks, would get into fistfights on stage, and they still played together for years." The X-Girls blinked and looked at each other.

"So…you're not gonna break up?" Jean wondered. Paul laughed.

"CRAIG, A STAGE VIDEO IS BLOODY BORING!" Pyro screamed.

"YOU'RE A FIRE HAZARD, JOHN! THAT'S WHY WE DON'T LIKE YOUR IDEA!" Lance yelled.

"I don't think so." The superstar rolled his eyes with a smile and a shake of the head. The X-Girls squealed happily and glomped Paul.

"They're not gonna break up!" Tabby smiled gleefully. "I feel so much better!"

"I WANT FIRE!" John's scream was heard from inside the Common Room.

"JOHN, NO!" Craig's yell was heard back. "WE ALL KNOW WHAT YOU WOULD DO WITH AN OPEN FLAME!"

"WELL, LANCE'S IDEA WILL MAKE US LOOK LAME!" John complained.

"It's just a creativity argument, girls. Nothing serious." Paul reassured. "Bands have them all the time. Even Lennon and McCartney butted heads on occasion, and look what they put out."

"Yeah, I suppose so…" Jean admitted.

"OH PLEASE!" Lance ranted. "A CONCEPT VIDEO IS NOT LAME! IT DEPENDS ON THE CONCEPT!"

"YOU WANT A PIECE?" John roared. A fwoosh of flame was heard.

"LET'S ROCK!" Lance growled. An earthquake erupted in the Common Room, causing a high-pitched scream.

"SAVE US! SAVE US!" Beast was seen running by the door.

"LILA! LEAVE ME ALONE!" Sam Guthrie screamed as he ran by, a madly cackling Lila Cheney after him.

**A railroad track in Bayville**

"Mmm-hmm-hmmm…" Duncan Matthews noticed a train track. "Hmm, maybe if I cross this track, I can get to the store faster." He looked both ways. "No trains coming. Cool." Duncan started to walk across the tracks. When he was halfway across, he got hit by a train coming out of nowhere.

**Bayville High**

Principal Kelly walked toward his car, and went inside.

"Ahhh…now to go home and get myself something to eat." Kelly started his car, but with a KABLAM, the engine exploded. "NO!" Kelly exclaimed. Steam escaped from under the car's hood. Kelly whimpered as he ran out and opened the engine. "Oh my God, what happened to the ARGH!" The engine started shooting oil at him. "YECH! ARGH! HELP! AAAAAGH! MY CAR! MY SUIT! MY TASTEBUDS! YUCK!" From a nearby bush, a couple teenage metalheads snickered.

"Man, this stuff is crazy when put into a car's gas tank." One metalhead noted, holding a jug with a white label on it. The label had the letters "XXX" on it in black.

Well, well, well! Looks like the insanity will continue! What madness will happen next? Will the band ever agree on a video idea? Will Kelly and Duncan ever get a break? Will something get blown up, screwed up, and/or made unrecognizable? Will someone get traumatized? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	67. Take Two!

**The Starr Chronicles**

**Disclaimer: "Greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right. Greed works." - Michael Douglas as Gordon Gekko, Wall Street**

Chapter 67: Take Two!

**The Brotherhood Boarding House, Bayville**

"Uhnnn…" Pietro Maximoff, the speedster called Quicksilver, mumbled. He was sitting on the floor of the Brotherhood House's living room, playing Monopoly with Fred Dukes, the mutant powerhouse known as the Blob, and Todd Tolensky, the amphibious young mutant codenamed Toad. Since he still had trouble seeing, Todd guided his pieces for him and helped him with transactions.

"Eleven for Pietro, yo." Todd announced as he rolled a pair of dice for Pietro. "Okay…" Fred took Pietro's game piece, a little car. He wouldn't stop whining until he got to be the car. Fred himself was the top hat, and Toad was the dog (Pietro had started to crack a joke about Todd and the dog, but Todd threatened to blind him permanently if he didn't clam it). "One, two, three…" Todd counted off the spaces Fred moved for the temporarily-blinded speedster. "Four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten…" Fred and Todd looked up at each other and shot an evil grin. Fred took an extra space. "…Eleven, yo." He looked at the spot Fred put the car. "Awwww, yo fool. You landed on Park Place, yo."

"You own that, Toad! Aw, man!" Pietro whined.

"You owe him $75, Quickie." Fred chuckled.

"Let's see…" Pietro struggled to get his money.

"I got it, yo." Toad took 100 dollars of Monopoly money off Pietro.

"Thanks, Todd." Pietro thanked. He then realized something. "I can't believe I just said that."

"Well, you should be thankful." Fred nodded. "After all, Little Buddy and I are helping you out here."

"Yeah, yo." Todd agreed with an enthusiastic nod. "I mean, it's not like we're taking every opportunity we can get to cheat you and make you look like an idiot." Todd winked at Fred. The large mutant snickered and gave Todd a thumbs-up.

"Yeah, Pietro." Fred agreed, patting Pietro's shoulder. "Don't worry about it."

"Oh, okay." Pietro nodded. He heard knocking from the closet door. "What's that?"

"Oh, nothing." Fred shrugged. He nodded at Todd. "It's time." He whispered. Todd nodded, got up, and walked into the kitchen. He walked back out a few minutes later, wearing a long leather glove, carrying a chicken by the feet. The chicken was foaming out the mouth.

"What's that noise?" Pietro looked around quickly. "It sounds like a rabid chicken! Oh, God! What're you guys gonna do with that chicken?" He started to panic.

"Will you relax?" Fred reassured. "Not every single little itty bitty thing is about you, man."

"It's not easy being perfect, Blob." Pietro muttered. "You wouldn't know."

"Whatever." Fred rolled his eyes. Todd opened the closet door. Inside was Duncan Matthews, tied and gagged. The bound jock screamed and whined and whimpered through his gag.

"Hey Duncy! We got you a pet, yo!" Todd grinned. He threw the rabid chicken in and quickly slammed the door shut. The sounds of muffled screaming, crazed clucking, and crashing was heard through the door. "Heh heh, wait 'till I tell Althea about _this!_" The sound of an explosion was heard, and the house shook. "What was THAT?"

**The Xavier Institute**

"Right…" Hank "Beast" McCoy sat up from under the console of the control area of the Danger Room. "Okay, that should fix it. And this time, I hope we have no disasters."

"Don't worry, Henry." Ororo "Storm" Munroe chuckled. "Katherine is not in the room, so she can't screw up any machinery in there." Logan, the feral Canadian X-Man codenamed Wolverine, grunted and scowled down at the Superstars conversing in the Danger Room.

"I still don't like this." The feral X-Man muttered. "I don't like the way Red, Stripes, Boom-Boom, and Magma drool over Glamboy."

"They just have harmless crushes, Logan. Relax." Ororo reassured. "I find it rather funny myself."

"Girls love musicians, my dear." Hank explained. "They say music is a way to express the soul."

"Is multicolored leather and makeup part of that music package or something?" Logan grunted. "Whenever Avalanche gets into that white leather getup and silver makeup, I can't keep Half-Pint away from him. And you don't want to know what she did to Shades when he talked trash about it." Meanwhile, the Superstars were talking.

"Have you seen the kid?" Lance muttered.

"He said he needed to talk to the girls." Craig groaned. "I can't believe we're going through with that whole concept idea."

"I don't see why you're complaining, Craig." Lila sighed. "Most of the video is simply us performing the song."

"Don't act so happy, Allerdyce." Lance glared at a happily-humming John. "We're keeping the flames to a _minimum_. And we're holding you to your promise not to go nuts with them."

"Lance, you must think me a simpleton." John arrogantly smirked, crossing his arms. "I know when to rein in my passion for the flame."

"Good thing the flame's holographic." Lila whispered to the Starr Brothers. They both nodded.

"From Paul's memories I got of John, the guy was _never_ quite right in the head." Craig muttered.

_Oh, Craig!_ Paul mentally scolded. _John was always more of the eccentric, goofy type of insane. He always kept his fires small._

_According to one of those memories, John accidentally blew up a patrol car, and nearly got hung off the Capital Records building by the She-Hulk's father!_ Craig responded.

_Oh yeah, that reminds me! I gotta see if Jenny e-mailed me today._ Paul remembered.

_Later, Paul.__ We gotta do this stupid video._ Craig grumbled as he cut off his end of the Starr Brothers' telepathic link. Paul chuckled and shook his head with a smile.

_Oh, Craig._ Paul shut off his end. A hissing noise was heard.

"Alright, the five of you have finally shown up!" Jamie Madrox, still dressed in his director clothes, barked as he walked in.

"That kid's starting to creep me out, mates." John whispered to the other Superstars.

"You ain't the only one, Pyro." Lance shook his head.

"I talked to the girls." Jamie announced to the band. "They love the idea of the band performing at a modeling."

"That's the concept?" Lila raised an eyebrow. She looked at Lance. "I should've known. You'd give just about anything to see Kitty Pryde strut down a walkway, wouldn't you?"

"Oh, shut up." Lance mumbled.

**Bayville High Parking Lot**

Principal Kelly walked with a whistle towards his car.

"Ahh, lunchtime." He smiled to himself. "Just take my car out for a ride, and then go to that nice place for lunch." He heard a whistle, the kind of whistle that was heard when something was falling from the sky. The hapless principal looked up. "What the-!" A cannonball flew into Kelly's car from above. It bounced off the roof of the car, leaving a big dent in the roof, and the cannonball slammed into Kelly.

**The Brotherhood House**

"Wow." Wanda Maximoff saw the event through a pair of binoculars in her room. She was standing at her window. She looked at the object sitting next to her: A cannon. The end of the cannon was spewing smoke out the window. "Worth every penny."

Well, well, well! Looks like the Superstars are gonna try again! What insanity will happen next? Will the second take be a disaster or a success? Will the Superstars' video be a smash? Will Kelly and Duncan ever get a break? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	68. Celebrations and Concerns!

**The Starr Chronicles**

**Disclaimer: "Who throws a shoe? Honestly!" - Mike Myers as Austin Powers, Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery**

Chapter 68: Celebration and Concern!

**The Brotherhood Boarding House, Bayville**

Wanda Maximoff, the mutant hexcaster codenamed the Scarlet Witch, was in her room, humming happily. She also happened to be polishing a cannon she recently picked up.

"I love this cannon." Wanda smiled to herself. "I think I'll call it Fluffy." Meanwhile, downstairs, Fred, Todd, and Pietro were watching TV.

"What is this?" Pietro wondered. He still couldn't see too well.

"I dunno." Fred shrugged. "All these reality shows are alike." Todd was sitting on an armchair, messing around on his laptop.

"No kidding, yo." Todd agreed, not even looking up from his screen.

"What're you looking at, Todd?" Fred looked at his amphibian-like friend. Todd shrugged as he typed.

"Just posting on a message board." Todd answered. "…And that's why Captain Nebula can beat up Red Falcon any day of the week…and submit." Todd smiled to himself. "I'd like to see any fools try out debate **my** comic genius, yo!"

"I really can't stand that Lila gave you a laptop." Pietro muttered.

"Jealous much?" Todd smirked.

"Oh, shut up." Pietro pouted. The silver-haired speedster started to whine. "Oh, it's not fair! My looks got marred by this chicken infection, the medicine takes forever to work, and now until it clears up, I won't be able to grace the world with my presence and I look like Tooooooad!" Todd shot Pietro a flat look.

"Look at this way, yo." Todd smirked. "You and I share something in common now, yo." _Not to mention **I** can see, no problem._ He turned a little webcam that was clipped to the top of his screen towards Pietro, and used his computer to take a picture.

"What're you doing?" Pietro tried to blink.

"Just messin' about, yo." Todd smirked. He then proceeded to hack into Bayville High's website and put Pietro's picture on it. A knock was heard at the door.

"Who is it?" Pietro yelled in the direction of the door.

"I'll get it." Fred got up from his seat and opened it. "Hey guys." The large mutant smiled.

"Hey Freddy! Whoo!" Lance whooped as he walked in the door, dressed in his full Superstars gear and make-up. The rest of the all-mutant band walked in dressed in their band costumes and makeup.

"Who is it?" Pietro wondered. "I recognize those multicolored fuzzy things."

"That's the Superstars, Pietro." Todd told the speedster.

"We did it!" Lance whooped. "We made a video! We rock!" He started playing air guitar and making guitar noises. "Yeah yeah yeah yeah! Whoo yeah!" Lila held up a tape.

"Here it is." She grinned. She turned and handed it to Todd. "Hey Toady, put it on!" Todd nodded and hopped to the VCR.

"Hey! I'm ill here! I want attention!" Pietro whined.

"Shut up and move over." Lila shoved the speedster over and took a seat on the couch. She looked at the speedster. "What happened to your face? You look like someone filled your eyes with egg yolk and they're starting to leak."

"I'm trying out a new fashion statement." Pietro grunted, crossing his arms.

"He got a chicken infection thanks to the football team." Fred piped up. Lila blinked.

"The _football team_ gave _Pietro_ a _chicken infection?_"

"Yup."

"…Man, that was some strange stroke of luck. Like the world turned into Bizarro World for a moment there." Lila shrugged.

"Man, the video was _great_, mate!" John whooped. "Alright!" He and Paul high-fived.

"Yeah." Paul agreed. "It took a couple takes, but it was perfect! And the X-Girls loved it, too!"

"They would." Craig muttered, lumping himself down on the armchair. "It was a dumb video. The girls strutted around on a stage like a bunch of freakin' peacocks."

"I wasn't too hot with the idea, Craig…but then I realized it fit the song." Lance chuckled. "It was great."

"It's gonna be a hit!" Lila whooped.

"Hey, you guys wanna watch the finished product or what, yo?" Todd piped up.

"Well, what took ya?" Fred wondered.

"I had to reprogram the freakin' VCR." Todd muttered. "Stupid thing _never_ remembers my settings."

"You think we should ask that public access show to play the video? Get some exposure?" John suggested. "And we wouldn't have to pay a whole lot of money to get airtime."

"One problem, Allerdyce." Lance told the insane Australian blond pyrokinetic. "…Nobody ever _watches_ public access television."

**The Xavier Institute**

"I don't like this." Scott sighed to Professor Xavier. The optic-blasting young mutant was sitting in Professor Xavier's office. Xavier himself was sitting behind his desk.

"Don't like what, exactly?"

"Well, I don't like how the girls were acting around that Starchild guy." Scott sighed. "They begged him to let them act like supermodels for their video."

"Scott…"

"I mean, I don't get it." Scott sighed. "That guy drives me nuts."

"I…don't really understand." Xavier blinked.

"Well, it's that whenever he walks into a room, the girls of the team immediately start acting like crazed groupies." Scott explained.

"They probably just have harmless crushes, Scott." Xavier reassured.

"Yeah, but when Alvers gets into that ridiculous outfit, Kitty loses it." Scott countered. "It's unnerving. And you can bet that Alvers knows what he's doing with that."

"Scott, I think it's actually quite interesting to see that members of the Brotherhood are interested in a career in music." Xavier smiled. "I will admit, they do have the…reputations to be rock musicians." Scott sighed. "Scott, I don't think they intend to destroy the X-Men through rock music."

"No, just drive us bananas." Scott sighed. "How do we get ourselves into all these messes?"

**Bayville High**

"Eek!" A cheerleader screamed as she ran down a hall. Students quickly noticed something odd.

"BACAAAAAW!" Duncan Matthews cawed as he walked in. He was flapping his arms like a chicken, he looked disheveled, and his mouth was foaming. Kids in the hall were flattening themselves against their lockers, running away, and/or screaming. "BOK BOK BOK! BOK! BOK BACAW! BOK BOK BOK!" He started strutting around, clucking and flapping his arms. A couple of his fellow football players ran to restrain him, but something happened and Duncan's head got smashed into a locker. Hard. "Hee hee hee heeeeeeeeeee…"

"Hey, what's going on here?" Principal Kelly snapped as he walked up to the scene. "What in the AGH!" Duncan leapt up and starting doing a chicken dance on Kelly's back. "HEY OW HELP ME MOMMY OWCHIE OOH SAVE ME HEEEEELLLLLLLLP! MAMA! OW! OOH! AHH! THAT HURT OW OOH UGH HEY!"

Well, well, well! Looks like our heroes just did their thing! What insanity will happen next? How was the video? Will they ever get it played? Will Scott relax? Will Kelly and Duncan ever get a break? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	69. Curse of the WereTurkey, Part 1

**The Starr Chronicles**

**Author's Note: Hey there, fans! L1701E here, hoping you've enjoyed the story so far! This next storyline is a wacky combo Halloween/Thanksgiving storyline. You've gotta read it to believe it. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: "I must break you." - Dolph Lundgren as Ivan Drago, Rocky IV**

Chapter 69: Curse of the Were-Turkey, Part 1

**Bayville High**

"_Mmm__-hmmm hm hmm, hmm hmm…_" Paul Starr, the laser-eyed, always-charming Starchild, hummed happily to himself as the cheerful young mutant walked down a hall in Bayville High. He looked up and noticed a brightly-colored poster on the wall next to the classroom. "Huh. Bayville Fall Dance."

"Yeah, I'm thinking of taking Kitty down there." Lance Alvers, the geokinetic Avalanche smiled as he walked up to Paul. "I think it's going to be great."

"You'd better be careful." Paul told the brown-mulleted teen as the two boys started walking down the hall. "Every time you tried to ask Kitty out, you ended up with Wolverine all over you." Lance groaned.

"Don't remind me." Lance shuddered. "One time I tried to climb on top of the X-Geek's mansion so I could get on Kitty's balcony, and I found him there waiting for me! It's like he could predict the future."

"Wow." Paul blinked.

"Yeah." Lance nodded. "You got a date? Oh wait, who am I kidding? You'd _never_ have trouble finding a date." Paul shrugged.

"Yeah, but I don't like to brag." The black-haired mutant shrugged. They passed by Duncan Matthews and a couple of his fellow football players/cronies, who were plotting something. "I wonder what Duncan is up to."

"Knowing that bag of gorilla puke, I doubt it's going to be anything good." Lance sneered. "Let's keep going. I'm not in the mood to make that jerk's life miserable." He and Paul continued walking. They passed by Principal Kelly's office, where they heard the sound of hammering, then the sound of bone being broken, and a scream. "What is he doing in there, building a rocket?"

"I'll go get the nurse." Paul sighed. Meanwhile, Duncan was plotting alongside his cronies.

"Okay, you guys got the stuff?" Duncan asked.

"Yeah, but why go after Farmer Brown? Guy owns a turkey farm." One of the players wondered.

"Ah, I just felt like it." Duncan shrugged. "Besides, it'll be so funny to see the old man find his house covered in toilet paper and eggs, and his turkeys all spooked, heh heh."

**The Brotherhood House**

"_Do you dare to endure one week of pure, unadulterated terror?_" The television asked in a creepy Vincent Price-esque voice.

"Ooooh, this sounds like this horror film marathon is going to have some good selections." Lila Cheney, the interstellar teleporter codenamed Starway grinned. She and Toad were sitting on the couch.

"Oh man, do the two of you have to watch this whole thing?" Fred gulped nervously. He was sitting on the armchair, shivering and covering himself in a blanket.

"Awwwww, don't tell us that the Big Bad Scary Immovable Indestructible Blob is scared of some fictional horror movies." Lila teased. Fred put the blanket over his head.

"No, I'm not." Fred whimpered. "I'm not scared of anything." Todd shot Fred a mirthful look.

"Don't worry, we agree with you." The amphibious mutant chuckled. The three noticed Wanda walk down the stairs.

"What're you three knuckleheads doing?" Wanda grumbled.

"We're getting ready to watch the big horror marathon." Lila grinned. Wanda blinked.

"…Can I watch?" Lila and Todd looked at each.

"Meh." Todd shrugged. "More the merrier. It's the Exorcist on next."

"Alright." Wanda smiled. "I've wanted to see that movie for quite some time." The hexcaster took a seat on the couch."

"Hey, look what I found in this store, man." Pietro Maximoff zipped into the room. "A book called "Monsters, Creepies, and Crawlies: The Ultimate Guide"."

"I got something like that." Wanda crossed her arms. "So?"

"So…" Pietro answered. "I leafed through this thing, and let's just say that there are some interesting facts about werewolves in here."

"Like what? They turn hairy and kill people during a full moon?" Lila quipped. Pietro shot the dark-haired girl a look.

"No." He groaned. "Let's just say there are other things out there besides were_wolves_."

"Really?" Wanda crossed her arms. "Like what?"

"Well…" Pietro opened his book to an earmarked page. "There's were-horses, were-ducks, were-cats, were-pigs…"

"Were-_ducks?_" Todd blinked incredulously.

"Were-_pigs?_" Lila repeated in the same tone of voice.

"Who wrote that book, some struggling comedian?" Wanda snorted. Pietro groaned.

"No, this is written by an expert!" Pietro wailed.

"Yes, Dr. Quack is quite a respected monster expert." Todd quipped, causing Wanda, Fred, and Lila to burst out laughing. The speedster glared at the amphibious young mutant.

"No his name is not Dr. Quack, you twit!" Pietro snapped. "I'm telling you, there are other were-things out there!"

"Sure, Pietro." Fred rolled his eyes. "Real sure."

**The Xavier Institute**

"You look awfully happy, Jean." Ororo Munroe smiled as Jean Grey passed by in the garden. The redheaded telepath and telekinetic smiled.

"I sure am, Miss Munroe." Jean sighed happily. She didn't notice Scott standing at the door to the garden. "The big Fall Dance is coming up." Jean smiled. So did Scott. "I really would love to ask the Starchild out on a date." Scott's jaw dropped. "I'd bet he'd look so dreamy in a costume."

"Daaaaahhhhhhh!" Scott screamed, running away. Neither Jean nor Ororo heard him.

"You have to wear costumes?" Ororo raised a thin white eyebrow. Jean nodded.

"Oh yeah, it's going to be fun." Jean smiled. Kitty passed by.

"Like, I hope Lance dresses in his white leather costume." Kitty sighed hopefully as she walked by. "Mmmmmm, Lance in white leather…" Kitty drooled as she went by. The distinct roar of Wolverine yelling "ALVERS!" loudly was heard in the background.

"Anyway, Miss Munroe, I gotta go pick out a costume." Jean walked inside the mansion, continuing to him. She noticed Ray "Berzerker" Crisp pass by. "Hello, Raymond." She smiled cheerily. "I hope you had a wonderful day!" The ex-Morlock blinked in confusion.

"Uhhh…'kay…" Ray blinked. "Uh…have you been drinking?" Jean laughed.

"No, silly." Jean giggled. "I'm just feeling happy. After all, the big fall dance is coming up." Ray blinked.

"…So?"

"So? So _I'm_ going to ask the Starchild, Paul Starr himself, to be my date!" Jean grinned happily. The sound of Scott screaming could be heard in the background.

"Excuse me? Now just wait one minute!" A voice yelled. Jean and Ray turned, and saw Amara "Magma" Aquilla, the lava-controlling princess of Roma Nova scowling at Jean with her arms crossed.

_Uh oh._ Ray mentally grinned. _This is going to be good._

"What do you want, Magma?" Jean grunted.

"I heard you were planning to take the Starchild out to the Fall Dance." Amara told the redhead. "_I_ was planning to ask him out. In fact, I have made plans to make him my official royal consort."

"Excuse me?" Jean laughed. "Royal consort? Sweetheart, I'm an A student, I'm popular, and I'm a world-class athlete. I'm the Queen of Bayville High. I think Paul would be a little more interested in me."

"HA!" Amara laughed. "_I'm_ a princess! I rule a country! I could give Paul all he has ever desired, and more!"

"Oh, really?" Jean muttered.

"Yeah!" Amara snapped. The two girls started arguing about which one of them was more worthy of the Starchild. Ray was watching with a wide grin on his face.

"God, this is so great…" He grinned to himself. Jean's last remark caused Amara's face to contort into an expression of mixed anger and outrage.

"You…_peasant!_" Amara screamed, slapping Jean across the face. Ray drooled. Jean held her face, and them she saw red.

"You wretch!" Jean slapped her back, and a catfight ensued.

"Aw, man! I gotta tape this!" Ray whooped.

Well, well, well! Looks like the insanity will continue! What madness will happen next? What'll happen at the dance? Will Duncan get into trouble and/or tortured? Will Kelly ever get a break? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	70. Curse of the WereTurkey, Part 2

**The Starr Chronicles**

**Disclaimer: "Burn!" - Superman to Mongul, "For The Man Who Has Everything" by Alan Moore**

Chapter 70: Curse of the Were-Turkey, Part 2

**The Brotherhood Boarding House**

"Hmm…" Lila Cheney, the interstellar teleporter and Brotherhood member codenamed Starway, hummed to herself as she sat on her bed. She was plucking her golden guitar, listening to some music on her headphones. There was a knock at her door. The dark-haired girl looked up, and pulled down her headphones.

"Who is it?" Lila wondered.

"Me, yo. And Freddy." Lila smiled at the voice.

"Come on in, Toady." Lila waved. The door opened and Todd Tolensky, the amphibious mutant codenamed Toad, and Fred Dukes, the large immovable powerhouse codenamed Blob, walked in. They were carrying several bags of chips, bottles of soda, cups of dip, and the like. "Let me guess, boys. You're watching the football game."

"We want to." Fred sighed dejectly, running a hand through his blond mohawk.

"Yeah, but Pietro and Lance are too busy brawling over the TV downstairs." Todd grumbled. The house started to shake, and the sounds of yelling, punches, and general mayhem could be heard. "Here they go again, yo!"

"YI!" Everyone grabbed something. The house stopped shaking.

"Oh, thank God." Fred panted, wiping his brow. "It's over."

"The house is still standing." Lila quickly looked around, sighing in relief. "That's a very good sign."

"He keeps that up man, and I'm gonna have a heart attack, yo!" Todd moaned.

"Not to mention we'll be eating plenty of roof." Fred looked up at the ceiling.

"Yeah." Lila nodded in understanding. "I can understand why you guys wouldn't want to be down there right now. Okay, you guys can watch it on my TV." Lila smiled, pointing at her TV. Fred and Todd's eyes widened at the sight of Lila's TV. It was a wide-screen wall-mountable TV. "You like?"

"Wow…" Fred's jaw dropped in appreciative awe. "It's…beautiful…"

"We'll be able to see the stitches in the referee's shirt with that thing!" Todd grinned. He turned to Lila with the grin still on his face. "How'd you get that thing, yo?" Lila shrugged.

"I told you. I have my ways." The interstellar teleporter grinned.

**Principal Kelly's House**

"WHERE'S MY NEW TV?" Kelly roared in outrage. "I JUST GOT IT YESTERDAY! AAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" He started banging his head against the wall. "Why why why why why why? WHYYYYYY? WHY DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO ME?" A piece of plaster came off the ceiling and hit the hapless principal in the head. "OW!"

**The Brotherhood House**

Fred and Todd sat in Lila's room, watching the game on Lila's wide-screen TV.

"Man, this game has gotten good." Fred grinned. "Those two teams have well-matched offensive lines." They say we all are experts at something. In Fred "Blob" Dukes's case, the subject he was an expert was on football. He may have not been the most academic mutant, but Fred was a genius with pigskin.

"You may enjoy the game to update your mental files, but I watch to see PAIN!" Todd grinned. "I watch to see people get tackled." Sounds of punching could be heard from downstairs.

"I wanna watch the TV!" Pietro could be heard howling from downstairs. Lila groaned.

"Man, I can't believe that hyper-accelerated metabolism of his allows him to recover from that whole infection business quickly." Lila sighed.

"Why do you think he keeps coming back after all the beatings he goes through?" Todd quipped with a chuckle. More yelling was heard from downstairs.

"Leave it alone!" Lance yelled. "I like this show! This band rules!"

"Aw come on, Lance! You saw this show fifty times! Besides, that band sucks!" Pietro's voice snapped. Lila, Fred, and Todd gasped. Silence was heard from downstairs.

"You…" Lance snarled, panting heavily. "You…you…YOU…BLASPHEMER!" The sound of a roar was heard, complimented by a big crash, and the sounds of high-pitched girly screaming.

"I don't wanna know." Fred shook his head. "I really don't wanna know."

"Where are the others?" Todd wondered. Lila shrugged.

"I dunno."

**The Xavier Institute**

"I don't get it." Scott Summers, the optic-ray firing mutant codenamed Cyclops, sighed. "I just don't get it." He sat on a table with a bottle of soda. "How does that Starchild guy do it? How?" He looked at the person he was talking to. "I mean, it's insane. How can one man cause such a frenzy? I mean, he's not even that famous a rocker." As he spoke, Scott didn't notice Logan, the feral codenamed Wolverine, walking by. The feral Canadian looked at Scott, and then at what Scott was talking to. He raised an eyebrow and snickered as he walked away.

"Hey 'Ro! Hank! You gotta get a look at this!" The Canadian feral laughed.

"I mean, the girls act like he is the greatest thing since sliced bread." Scott continued on, not noticing Wolverine. He heard a crashing. "What the-?" He looked up at the door, and he saw a cackling Kurt run by.

"BWA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAAA!" Kurt Wagner, the blue-furred demonic-looking mutant codenamed Nightcrawler, cackled madly as he ran by.

"KURT!" The voice of Kitty Pryde, the phaser codenamed Shadowcat roared. "I AM GOING TO LIKE, TOTALLY FREAKING KILL YOU, YOU BLUE FURBAG!" She raced after Kurt, brandishing a frying pan. She was covered in shaving cream. "COME BACK HERE!"

"What in the name of-?" A confused Scott scratched his head. He turned to the person he was talking to. "Did you see that?" Jean walked in.

"Hey Scott, have you seen…" She trailed off when she noticed what was sitting at the table with Scott.

"What?" Scott blinked.

"Scott…" Jean smiled. "I think it's adorable that you still confide in stuffed animals." She pointed at the gigantic teddy bear that was sitting at the table across from Scott. The optic blaster's face turned bright red with embarrassment.

**That night, Farmer Brown's turkey farm**

Farmer Brown's turkey farm was a large farm that was on the outskirts of Bayville. There, the farmer raised turkeys free range. A fog had come over the farm. Duncan Matthews climbed over the fence into the farm. With him were two of his teammates: Tommy Flutie, a buzz cut-wearing blond fullback, and James Perry, a bald African-American tackle. Tommy was carrying a duffel bag, which he had slung over his shoulder before he climbed over the fence.

"You boys ready?" Duncan grinned.

"Oh yeah." James laughed. "This is going to be great."

"Man, this fog is creepy." Tommy looked around. "Combine that with the fact that this farm is so big…"

"Tommy, relax." Duncan reassured. "It's just a fog. It's not creepy. Now let's get to the old fart's house and do this." The three boys started walking towards the house. "You know, it's funny."

"What?" James blinked.

"The old fart's field is normally covered with turkeys. Now it's not like there are any here." Duncan noticed.

"That time of year, man." James suggested with a shrug.

"Yeah. I guess so." Duncan agreed. A gobble was heard. "Looks like one of them's still awake."

"Let it be." James told Duncan. "Turkeys are pretty stupid animals. Ol' Brown will probably just yell at it."

"I dunno." Tommy gulped. "That gobble didn't sound like a normal turkey, man."

"Oh, you're hearing things, man." Duncan groaned. He heard the gobble again. "Maybe it just is lonely or something." A shadow was spotted. "Hey, what's that? AGH!" Several turkeys came out of nowhere and leapt on Duncan. They started mauling him. "ARGH! HELP ME! SAVE ME!"

"Oh man! He trained attack turkeys! Let's get outta here!" Tommy exclaimed. He and James ran away and climbed back over the fence.

Well, well, well! Looks like the madness will continue! What insanity will happen next? Can the Brotherhood go one day without insanity? Will Kelly and Duncan ever get a break? Why is Scott talking to a teddy bear? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	71. Curse of the WereTurkey, Part 3

**The Starr Chronicles**

**Disclaimer: "Tell me…how does that feel?" Red Hood/Jason Todd to Joker, Batman #638**

Chapter 71: Curse of the Were-Turkey, Part 3

**Bayville****High School**

"Man, that class sucked." Lance Alvers, the geokinetic mutant codenamed Avalanche, grumbled as he stuffed his history book into his locker. "I hate that class."

"I dunno." Paul Starr, the hypnotic mutant codenamed Starchild, shrugged. "I don't think that it's the subject material, it's the way he presents it. You know, droning on and on." He sighed as he pulled out a comb and started to comb his hair a little in a mirror on the inside of his wall. "It nearly made me fall asleep."

"No kidding." Lance agreed. "On the other hand, something great is about to happen at the Fall Dance."

"What, you're going to prank the X-Men?" Paul rolled his eyes.

"Nah, I think I'm gonna be too busy for that…" Lance smirked. Paul shot Lance a quizzical look.

"Huh?"

"Ah, I see you are confused, my star-faced friend." Lance smirked. "You see WAH!" Lance found himself being glomped by a certain pink cardigan-wearing brown-haired phaser on him. "Hi, Kitty."

"Hi, Lance!" Kitty grinned widely. "Like, is it true?"

"Is what true?" Paul blinked.

"Tell 'im, Lance! Tell him!" Kitty exclaimed excitedly, jumping up and down, clapping her hands.

"Tell me what?" Paul blinked. Lance smirked.

"Well, I got the Superstars another gig."

"You did?" Paul smiled. "Where?"

"At-" Lance started.

"At the Fall Dance!" Kitty whooped happily. Paul's jaw dropped.

"Wow!" The LA-born mutant grinned. "That's great! How'd you manage to convince Principal Kelly? You know how he felt about our last performance." Lance shrugged.

"Meh. It was surprisingly easily, believe it or not…" Lance started to explain.

**Principal Kelly's office, earlier in the day**

Lance Alvers opened the door to the hapless Principal Kelly's office.

"Principal Kelly?"

"Ah, hello Lance! Come right on in!" Kelly cheered happily. His voice sounded happy, like something made him feel _real_ good. Lance looked in and saw Kelly sitting at his desk. His eyes were half-closed, and he had an angelic smile on his face. "How are you doing? Man, this is a wonderful day."

"Whoa…" Lance blinked.

"What's up?" Kelly grinned.

"Are…you alright?" Lance looked like he was about to laugh. "You look…"

"Ah, I'm just trying out this _wonderful_ new medication the doctor put me on for stress." Kelly grinned. "They say it's experimental, but I feel great! It really works! The world seems…so…happy."

"…Yeah." Lance nodded. "Anyway, the Fall Dane is coming up and…"

"You want your band to perform." Kelly deduced.

"Uh…" Lance blinked. "Yeah."

"Sure!" Kelly grinned. "Go ahead! Knock yourself out!" He then started giggling.

"Wow." Lance blinked. "Thanks." He shook his head and left the room. "I should get Summers some of that stuff." Kelly grinned and got up. He walked to the window and opened it. A swarm of bees flew in and started stinging the principal's smiling face. "Yup! A wonderful day! Not even the bee stings hurt."

**Bayville High**

"Are you serious?" Kitty crossed her arms.

"Yeah." Lance nodded. "Ol' Kelly was takin' a ride on the ol' Jefferson Airplane."

"Like, that is totally unprofessional." Kitty shook her head.

"Coming from an X-Geek from Illinois who speaks with a Valley Girl accent?" Lance teased. Kitty mock glared at Lance and lightly punched him in the arm. "Hey!" Lance rubbed his arm. Paul snickered.

"Don't make her angry, dude. You wouldn't like her when she's angry." Paul chuckled.

"Oh, shut up." Lance mockingly jeered at Paul. St. John Allerdyce, the insane Australian pyrokinetic codenamed Pyro, walked up behind them.

"Come on, Lance!" Kitty grabbed Lance's arm with a grin. "Let's, like, go down to the cafeteria!" She dragged Lance awake.

"Don't let her cook anything for ya, mate!" John warned with a laugh.

"Go get your butt set ablaze, Allerdyce!" Lance snapped as he got carted off.

"Hey, John. What's up?" Paul greeted. John sighed.

"Nothing much." The reddish-blond Australian sighed. "I need to burn something. Really bad." Paul shook his head.

"Oh brother." Paul rolled his eyes. "Anyway, did you hear the news? The Superstars are going to be performing at the big Fall Dance." John's eyes widened.

"Really? Bonza!" John grinned, high-fiving Paul. "That's great, mate! I've been itching to play drums in front of an audience again!"

"Uh-huh." Paul agreed. "I've been hoping to play the ol' six-string five-pointed girl in front of an audience again."

"Hi, Starchild." A feminine voice greeted. Paul and John noticed Tabby standing next to them.

"Hey, Tabs." Paul waved.

"Yo." John nodded.

"What're you guys going to be wearing for the Fall Dance?" Tabitha wondered.

"Try our Superstar costumes." John chuckled.

"You mean-?" Tabby realized.

"The Superstars are going to be playing at the Fall Dance." Paul grinned. Tabby squealed and glomped Paul.

"Alright!" Tabby squealed. "That's so great!"

"Oh, yeah." John grinned. "We're excited, too."

"Yeah." Paul agreed. "It's going to be a lot of fun."

"Oh, I bet it's going to be." Tabitha smirked. She leaned over to whisper in Paul's ear. "I'm going to have a great costume for the Dance. You're going to love it." She walked away, giving Paul a wink. John raised an eyebrow in awe and amusement.

"Have I ever told you that I envy you, mate?" John laughed. "Even when we were kids, you always had that effect on women. If I never said it to you before, I'm going to say it to you now. You have _got_ to teach me how to get girls the way you do." Paul chuckled.

"John, it's not that hard." The Starchild chuckled. Meanwhile, in the Bayville High football team's locker room, Duncan Matthews was sulking. He had a bandage around his head and his right hand and a couple scratches on his face.

"Hey, Dunc. You alright?" Tommy asked concernedly as he and James walked up. Duncan scowled.

"Oh, just _dandy._" He muttered sarcastically. "Really, really _freakin__'_ dandy! You two jerks left me out there to get mauled by turkeys last night!"

"Sorry, man." James shook his head. "We didn't mean to. We got scared. Man, those turkeys were insane! I never expected turkeys to act like that!"

"Yeah." Tommy nodded.

"Well, luckily, Farmer Brown saved my butt." Duncan sighed. "However, he told me if he ever saw me around his turkeys again, I would get very intimate with the business end of his shotgun." Duncan sighed again, getting up. "Aw well." He opened his locker, and it exploded!

**_KABLAM!_**

"YEEEEEEEEEOW!" Duncan screamed as he was sent flying.

Well, well, well! Looks like the madness will continue! What insanity will happen next? What'll Tabby wear at the Fall Dance? Will Kelly and Duncan get a break? Will Kelly stay on the medication? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	72. Curse of the WereTurkey, Part 4

**The Starr Chronicles**

**Disclaimer: "Screw you, Hippie!" - Eric Cartman, ****South ****Park**

Chapter 72: Curse of the Were-Turkey, Part 4

**The Brotherhood House, Bayville**

The sounds of guitars, drums, vocals, and keyboards could be heard as the Superstars were practicing for their performance at the Bayville High School's annual Fall Dance. The Superstars composed of five members of the Brotherhood of Mutants. The lead singer/guitarist was Paul Starr, the LA-born charmer known as the Starchild. The bassist was Craig Starr, the former gang member codenamed Darkstar. Lance Alvers, the geomancing mutant called Avalanche, was the lead guitarist. The keyboardist was Lila Cheney, the interstellar teleporter codenamed Starway. Their drummer was St. John Allerdyce, the insane Australian pyrokinetic codenamed Pyro. The five bandmates were sitting in the backyard on stools, playing their instruments.

"_Everybody's gonna leave their seat…_" Paul sang into the microphone, plucking his purple five-pointed star-shaped guitar. The band played the final bars of the song. "Well, you guys, that was a great rehearsal."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Craig grumbled, taking off his black bass guitar and getting up off his stool.

"What's up, man?" Lance looked up from his white B.C. Rich Warlock at the raven-haired ex-gang member.

"I'm not too thrilled about this idea." Craig grunted.

"Why not? It's great! Gives the band some exposure!" Lila grinned.

"Yeah, and the band gives me something to do besides burn stuff and write." John nodded in agreement. "I still don't bloody understand why none of you will play any of the songs I wrote." The others groaned.

"John, do you remember when Pietro stumbled upon a manuscript you wrote?" Lance reminded. "Remember when he opened up and read it? And do you remember when what you were writing caused? He nearly had a coronary, remember?"

"Oh, yeah. That was funny." Lila snickered. "Poor old girly man. He just foaming at the mouth, clutching at his heart, and flopping like a fish all over the room." John snorted and crossed his arms.

"Man, Pietro's a wimp." John snorted. "You'd think that guy never read a gothic romance novel before."

"Gothic _romance?_" Craig's jaw dropped.

"Yeah." John nodded. "It's one of me hobbies. They're a lot of fun to write. You know…" The pyromaniac smirked evilly. "You and Wanda are quite a source of inspiration…" Craig's face's paled, his mouth shut tight, and his cheeks started to redden.

"Oh, look. He's blushing." Lila laughed. "Now I see what Wanda sees in him."

"There's _nothing_ going on between me and Wanda." Craig snarled through gritted teeth. He glared at his snickering twin brother. "Don't. Start. Starchild." Meanwhile, inside, Todd Tolensky, the amphibious mutant known as Toad, was looking around in the kitchen.

"Aw, man…" Todd muttered, looking in a cupboard. "Dang it…Man, nothing good to eat around here. Geez." He started to grumble. "Man, why does Fred have to eat everything that is remotely edible in the freakin' house? Geez, the man can certainly go for five minutes without having to stuff his face. If the rest of us can do it, then he certainly could. Hey…hello…" He noticed something in the cupboard. "Hey, chocolate bars, yo. Alright!" Meanwhile, back outside, the band was conversing.

"Ten gives you one that Summers is going to dress up as a donkey." Lance smirked. "I mean, it's a given. It fits him perfectly."

"I don't think would let him wear that." Paul chuckled. "Hey bro, I bet Wanda would come as a witch, and she would have you dressed up as a black cat."

"Oh, man…" Craig groaned. He glared at Lance, Lila, and John, who all started laughing.

"Man, I'd like to see that!" Lila grinned.

"That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard in my life." Craig muttered. "Anyway, I'm not too hot about this Fall Dance gig."

"Why?" Lila blinked. "I think it's great. Our fans will love it."

"Yeah, but Principal Kelly allowed the gig too easily." Craig shook his head. "And last I heard, he hated us because we wrecked his lame assembly."

"Uh, Craig? Hello?" John piped up. "Kelly was embarking on a long, strange journey when Lance asked him."

"Yup." Lance nodded in agreement. "He was tripping the light fantastic."

"Taking a magic carpet ride." Lila told the ex-gang member.

"Flying on the Jefferson Airplane." Paul added.

"I get it." Craig grunted. "But still, I'm concerned."

"Look Craig, we know you're not the biggest fan of playing in front of people…" Paul started.

"I don't like it when people look at me." Craig grunted.

"Then do what John Entwistle did, mate." John suggested. "Just stand there and play, mate. Let Paul and Lance do all the jumping around on stage, like Roger Daltrey and Pete Townshend did back with the Who."

"Yeah, I like that." Lila nodded with a smile. Craig's expression showed his openness to the idea.

"Alright, I'll give it a try." Craig agreed. "What's the worst that could happen?" A crashing was heard from within the house. "What in the name of-?"

"WHOOOOOO!" Toad burst out of the house, all hyped up on chocolate bars. He was dressed like a Native American chief. "I AM CHIEF HERSHEY GOODBAR!" He started running around the yard, hooting.

"Shouldn't we…" Paul blinked at the crazed amphibious mutant. "…we…you know…do something?"

"Oh yeah." Lila grinned. The dark-haired girl pulled a digital camera from her pocket and started snapping pictures. "I'm gonna send these to that Althea girl in Miami. She's gonna love 'em!"

"That might embarrass Todd, wouldn't it?" Paul blinked.

"All I know is that that mermaid girl down in Miami is going to drool so much, her mouth is going to become a regular waterfall." Lila snickered.

"…And you all say _I'm_ nuts." John snorted, crossing his arms.

"You are nuts, Allerdyce." Lance reminded the insane Australian pyrokinetic.

"Me Mum always said I was cutely eccentric." John grinned.

"…Your mother was as psycho as you are." Craig grunted.

**Downtown Bayville**

"La la la…" Principal Kelly skipped happily along a road. "Oh, man! I feel _so_ good! Man, this new medicine is great! I can feel my stress just _floating_ away…" Kelly smiled as he wandered onto the freeway. He got hit by a truck, and he landed in the middle of the road, causing a world-record pileup.

**The park, that night**

Duncan Matthews walked down the street in the park. The moon was high in the sky. Duncan looked up.

"Huh…" He smiled. "Nice night out. Too bad I don't have a date…eh…hearrgh!" Duncan started to twitch and retch as his body transformed. His skin sprouted feathers, his face formed a beak, and his body transformed into a bizarre combination of human and turkey, complete with feathery plume. Strangely, his blond hair stayed during the transformation. He arched his head back and crowed to the sky. "**_GOBBLE! GOBBLE! GOBBLE!_**"

Well, well, well! Looks like our heroes have got a big problem! What insanity will happen next? What'll Duncan do in his were-turkey state? Can our heroes cure him? Will Duncan and Kelly ever get a break? Will the Superstars' gig be a hit? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	73. Curse of the WereTurkey, Part 5

**The Starr Chronicles**

_To Kat: Hey there, Kat! Nice to hear from you! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Thank you for the torture ideas. They're a big help. I'll see what I can do. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Doza: Hey there, Doza! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Where do I come up with this stuff? At times, I honestly do not know. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there, Red Witch! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! I read the new chapter of "Evolution XMJ" and I loved it! Man, talk about your family feuds! An angry mob, huh? I'll see what I can do! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Evolution XMJ"!_

_To Hex Power: Hey there, Hex Power! Nice to hear from you! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Thanks for the idea! I'll see what I can do! Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To todd fan: Hey there, todd fan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Glad to keep you laughing, tf! I laughed when I wrote it, too. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Gifts and Curses"!_

**Disclaimer: "Wait a minute, why am I talking to you on the phone?" - Joe Pesci as Leo Getz, Lethal Weapon 4**

Chapter 73: Curse of the Were-Turkey, Part 5

**The Brotherhood House**

Nighttime had come over the Brotherhood House. However, on this particular night, no members of the Brotherhood were out making trouble (Lance, Craig), out on dates (Paul, Pietro), setting four-alarm fires (John), stealing stuff (Lila), watching TV (Todd, Fred), or brooding in their rooms (Wanda). Instead, the teenage mutants were gathered in the living room. Lila stood in front of a screen, an image projected on it from behind. Todd was sitting behind his laptop at a nearby table.

"Okay, now we're all familiar with the plan for the big prank run?" Lila asked. The Brotherhood murmured. "Okay!" Lila grinned. "Now here comes the fun part. Our mission names."

"Why can't we use our codenames?" A confused Fred raised his head.

"We only use those for a battle, man." Lance explained. "We're not fighting anybody."

"Oh."

"Okay." Lila nodded. "Now here are your names for the job." She pointed at Lance. "Lance, you're Mr. White."

"Rockin'." Lance smirked. Lila pointed at John.

"John, you're Mr. Orange."

"Rippa!" John grinned. "Orange is me favorite color!" Lila turned to Todd.

"Toady, you're Mr. Green."

"Big surprise." Todd rolled his eyes from behind his laptop. Lila pointed at Wanda.

"Wanda, you're Mr. Scarlet."

"Another perfect fit." Todd quipped.

"I'd rather be _Miss_ Scarlet, thank you very much." Wanda crossed her arms. Lila shrugged.

"Fine by me." She pointed at Fred. "Freddy, you're Mr. Blue."

"_Am I bluuuuue…_" Fred started to sing.

"Hey!" Pietro objected. "I wanted to be Mr. Blue! Blue's the color that looks best on me!"

"It's just for the job, Pietro. Relax." Lance sighed. "Whiny baby…"

"Craig…" Lila pointed at the ex-gang member. "You're Mr. Black."

"Anyone surprised?" Craig rolled his eyes. "I'm getting the feeling that you didn't pick these colors at random."

"Oh, hush." Lila teased. "Paul, you're Mr. Purple."

"I rest my case." Craig grunted.

"I like being Mr. Purple." Paul grinned.

"Your closet can attest to that." Pietro sniffed.

"And Pietro…" Lila smirked. "…you're Mr. Pink." Pietro's jaw dropped.

"Oh, this is gonna be good." Todd grinned.

"Here he goes again…" Wanda grumbled.

"Hey, wait a minute!" Pietro exclaimed. "Why do I have to be Mr. Pink?"

"Pietro, it's nothing personal." Lance grunted at the silver-haired speedster. "It's just for the job."

"But I'm so not a Mr. Pink! Why can't I be Mr. Blue?" Pietro whined.

"Because _I'm_ Mr. Blue." Fred smirked at Pietro, pointing at himself with his thumb. "Got a problem?" He asked sweetly, cracking his knuckles. Pietro gulped.

"…No, I'm fine, thank you very much." Pietro grinned nervously.

"And me…" Lila smirked. "I'm Miss Gold."

"No surprise." Lance laughed.

"I like gold." Lila shrugged.

"Yeah. Especially gold bullion." Pietro pouted. "I know about the bullion stash in your room."

"We all do, Pietro." Wanda reminded, pinching the bridge of her nose in annoyance.

"Lila has gold bullion?" Fred scratched his head.

"Oh, Fred…" Paul shook his head.

**Bayville Mall**

It may have been late at night, but that didn't stop the Bayville Mall from being a bustling center of activity. People went all over the stores to shop for practically every kind of item under the sun, and people went to the food court for all kinds of refreshments.

"Ooh, look!"

"Man, this place rules!"

"I am the Queen of the Mall!"

"I'm Captain Billy!"

"Hey! Buy my stuff! Come on!"

"Fresh curry!"

"Who let that horse in?" The front door crashed in, and a giant turkey with blond hair, dressed in a tattered shirt, letterman jacket, and jeans charged in, gobbling like a madman, flapping its wings.

"GOBBLE! GOBBLE! GOBBLE!" The turkey stumbled into a stand of calendars. The were-turkey gobbled in a panicky tone when a calendar covered its eyes. Evidently, unlike a werewolf, the were-turkey never quite got the simple concept of removing the calendar to see again. The people were a little frightened, but at the same time, they were rather confused. After all, the monstrous turkey didn't seem to attack. It didn't even seem to know **_how_** to attack people. The crowd started to mumble confusedly.

"What _is_ that?"

"It looks like a half-man half-turkey."

"It's stupid, that's what."

"I don't think it has any idea where it is. It looks confused."

"Turkeys ain't that bright, dude. They've been known to stand around in the middle of rainstorms because they don't get the concept of seeking shelter."

"GOBBLE!" Duncan the were-turkey screamed as he stumbled around the mall, crashing into stuff, knocking people over, and causing unintentional general mayhem. Duncan wrecked the food court when his stumbling and gobbling caused people to drop food and people working at the kiosks to screw up and start fires. Meanwhile, the ever-hapless Principal Kelly was obliviously walking into the battle. He had his eyes closed and he was humming. He grunted and screamed as the were-turkey rolled around and bounced on him like a child on a bed.

**Duncan's House**

"Man, this is great, Lila, I mean…Miss Silver!" Todd grinned as he threw a roll of toilet paper onto a tree on the Matthews' property.

"No kidding." Lila agreed, spray-painting "Duncan is a stupid monkey" in silver paint.

"Good think Dunc the Lunk and his loving family are out, Mr. Orange and Mr. Black." Lance smirked as he painted superglue on the couch cushions. Paul had left to get more supplies, and he also used his laser to scrawl Duncan's name on the front door.

"Yup." Craig and John agreed. John set the curtains ablaze, and Craig wrecked the family's china, then threw empty beer cans all over the place. Meanwhile, upstairs, Wanda was happily using her hex powers to cause weird stuff, like faucets to explode, furniture to break, and stuff like that. Lance looked up when he heard her humming.

"She seems happy."

"I guess…" Craig looked up. His cheeks reddened a little at the sound of her voice. John snickered.

"You want yourself some snuggle time with the Witchie…" John teased. Craig glared at the pyromaniac, then shoved him hard. "Hey, mate! What's up with you?" The pyromaniac noticed Fred eating everything in the fridge and cupboards. "Heh. I heard about the eating machine." Fred looked up.

"You wreck the house your way, I do it mine." The large blond-Mohawked mutant grunted.

"Come on! We still have to hit Kelly's house before he comes back home." Lance ordered. The Brotherhood left the house.

"I still can't believe I'm Mr. Pink…" Pietro whined, throwing away a can of silly string. "I'm always Mr. Pink."

"It's just for this, Mr. Pink. It's not permanent." Lila groaned.

"Hey!"

"Baby." Fred muttered, smacking the speedster.

"AGH!"

Well, well, well! Looks like Duncan had one bad night! What insanity will happen next? Will Kelly and Duncan ever get a break? Did the Were-Turkey's rampage cause any severe damage? Where were the X-Men? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	74. Curse of the WereTurkey, Part 6

**The Starr Chronicles**

**Disclaimer: "Six hours of psychopathic ranting."**

Chapter 74: Curse of the Were-Turkey, Part 6

**Principal Kelly's House**

"WHOOOOOOOO!" Lance Alvers, the brown-haired geokinetic mutant codenamed Avalcnhe whooped as he crashed Kelly's lawnmower, which was the kind of lawnmower one could ride around on, into the principal's china cabinet. The action caused the lawnmower to topple over onto its side, as well as caused Lance to tumble out. He didn't stop laughing, even as the cabinet fell on the lawnmower. "Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha! Whoo! That was great!" Lila Cheney, the dark-haired interstellar teleporter and guitar player codenamed Starway, looked over at Lance. She was spray-painting graffiti on the wall, and she heard Lance cackling happily. She shook her head.

_No wonder people worry about you, Lance._ Lila mentally sighed.

"Hey Goldie!" Lance called. "Help me out with moving this cabinet, and then I can crash into more stuff!"

"Yo, Fred!" Todd Tolensky, the amphibious mutant codenamed Toad, was painting superglue all over the walls of Kelly's kitchen, when he noticed that his best friend, Fred Dukes, the indestructible powerhouse known as the Blob, was raiding the fridge. "You just ate every ounce of everything edible there was at Matthews' place!" Fred looked up and shrugged.

"I'm a growing boy." Fred shrugged. Todd shook his head.

"You're a growing army regiment, yo." Todd quipped. Fred rolled his eyes.

"Oh, hardy-har-har." Fred cracked. "You know Toad, if you weren't my best friend, I'd smack you so hard, you'd find yourself 100 years into the future." Fred went back to the fridge. Todd blinked.

"Hey, I get special treatment! Sweet!" Todd grinned, then went back to his painting. "Man, Kelly's so going to hate us…Well, not that he doesn't hate us, anyway. I wonder where he is?" Fred shrugged and muttered a "Meh" in response.

**Farmer brown's Turkey Farm, the next morning**

"Uh…oh…where am I?" Duncan Matthews opened his eyes and groaned. The puzzled football player looked around and quickly jumped to his feet. "Where am I?" He looked around and found himself in somewhere familiar. A field with quite a few turkeys walking about, gobbling. "Farmer Brown's turkey field. How'd I get here?" He looked down at his tattered clothes. "And what happened to my clothes?" He started to pant and try to calm himself. "Okay…Okay, Duncan…Just calm down…just calm down…let's get my facts straight…the last thing I remember…I was walking in the park, and then I feel a lot of pain and black out…and then I'm here…and my clothes are wrecked…" He heard a click. Duncan turned around slowly, and he saw himself staring into the business end of a double-barreled, sawed-off shotgun. The shotgun was wielded by the angry Farmer Brown. He looked like an average farmer, nothing special.

"I thought I told you to stay out of my field." Farmer Brown narrowed his eyes. He looked down at Duncan's clothes. "What happened to your clothes, boy? Were you trying to mess with my turkeys?"

"No! No, sir! Not at all!" Duncan exclaimed, shaking his head and waving his arms quickly in an attempt to explain and defend himself. "I dunno what happened! I was in the park last night, and then I don't know what happened, and then next thing I know, I'm here, my clothes are ripped up!" Farmer Brown looked away as he processed what Duncan had just said.

"…Boy…" Farmer Brown scowled. "You must think I am the absolute **_dumbest_** human being on Earth! What am I, born yesterday? You appear here in my farm with your clothes all ripped up like you got into a bad fight with an animal, and you tell me that you have _no idea_ how you ended up like that? What kind of cockamamie garbage is that?" He pointed his shotgun right between Duncan's eyes, making the jock scream girlishly and whimper. "Boy, you got five seconds to get up and move your butt outta my farm, or else you'll be seeing what gunshot pellets taste like!" He cocked his shotgun. Duncan screamed girlishly again, and raced off, an angry Farmer Brown chasing after him. The farmer decided to start using his shotgun like a club. He was swinging it back and forth, attempting to clock a screaming Duncan upside the head. "Yeah, you'd better run! You had better run, boy!"

**The Brotherhood House**

Todd Tolensky sat in his room, in particular on his bed, his laptop on his lap. Sitting next to him was a digital camera, which was hooked up to his laptop with a cable.

"Heh heh…" The amphibious mutant snickered to himself, smirking and running a hand through his long dirty blond hair. "She is absolutely going to love these pictures." The mutant called Toad heard music downstairs. "And the Superstars are rehearsing for their performance at Bayville High." He mumbled to himself as he typed on his laptop. "We're all doing alright, just getting into our usual antics…"

"Hey Froggy!" Lila Cheney's voice called from downstairs. Todd looked up. "Come down here! I want to tell you something!"

"Huh?" Todd blinked. He carefully put his laptop on his bed, hopped off it, and then went downstairs. "Yeah?" He looked at the Superstars, what were all looking at him. "What? Did you guys want something, yo?"

"Oh, nothing." Lila answered sweetly. Todd blinked.

"Okay, what's going on here, yo?" Todd scowled. "Is this some kind of prank?"

"Nah." Lance shrugged. "You're hearing things." Toad grunted and grumbled as he stomped back up the stairs.

"Jerks." Todd grumbled to himself. "Call me down and then not tell me anything razzum frazzum…" The Superstars watched Todd stomp up the stairs, then they looked up at each other.

"Are you sure that was a good idea?" Paul asked Lila.

"Ah, relax." Lila smiled. "Todd's mood will brighten up real good when he notices what I arranged for him."

"Let me guess, it has something to do with that little trip you made earlier." Craig remembered. John snickered.

"Oh, yeah. The little frog is going to love it." John snickered. Meanwhile, Todd went down the hall to his room, grumbling. He went to his door.

"Razzum frazzum jerks…" Todd grumbled as he opened his door. He looked up at his bed and his eyes widened. "Holy-!" On his bed was a certain dark-haired girl with blue streaks and Chinese coin earrings. She was sitting on Todd's bed, and his laptop was her lap. She looked over at Todd and smiled.

"Hi!" She waved.

"Oh, my God!" Todd grinned. "Althea!"

"Hey." Althea Delgado greeted. "It's been a while. I've missed you." She put down the laptop, leapt off Todd's bed, and hugged him. "You've never come to Miami again! It's been a little boring without you and the other guys." Todd chuckled as they let go.

"Yeah. Sorry about that, yo." Todd chuckled. "Our lives have been pretty crazy since our visit. You know how it goes. My God…" Todd smiled at the water-controlling girl. "What brings you here? How'd you get here?"

"Lila brought me." Althea laughed. "She told me there was some dance here, and that you could use a date."

"Oh yeah. The Fall Dance." Todd nodded. "Yeah, I had thought about pretty much not going this year, you know." The amphibious mutant shrugged.

"Well, Lila didn't want you to spend a night of fun cooped up in here." Althea shrugged.

"Hey, I heard noise. What's going on in…" Pietro peeked in and grin. "Hello!" He zipped up to Althea. "Hey there, Delgado." The silver-haired speedster codenamed Quicksilver smiled suavely at Althea, putting his arm across her shoulder. "I'm sure you've missed seeing my pretty face. After all, how long as it been since you had the honor of gazing upon the studliness that is me."

"Oh, God…" Todd rolled his eyes with a groan. "Here we go again." Althea grunted.

"Hi, Pietro." Althea sneered. She grabbed his hand and squeezed it hard, making the speedster scream girlishly.

**Principal Kelly's House**

"Oh…" Principal Kelly moaned as he staggered up to his house. "I feel another headache coming on, and I need more of my medicine." He went inside his house. His eyes widened. "Oh…my…God…" His house was a wreck. Furniture was on the ceiling, broken stuff was all over the walls, graffiti was all over the walls, and there was silly string everywhere. "MY HOUSE!" His face contorted in rage, a couple blue veins popped out of his head, and his face turned bright red. "BRRRRRRRROOOOOTHERHOOOOOOOOD!" Kelly's house shook with his roar. After the shaking, it fell on top of him. "AAAARGH!"

Well, well, well! Looks like the insanity will continue! What madness will happen next? Will Duncan figure it out? Will he and Kelly ever get a break? How will Althea handle being in Bayville? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	75. Curse of the WereTurkey, Part 7

**The Starr Chronicles**

**Disclaimer: "Aw, God! Put that away! Put that away, please!" – Me**

Chapter 75: Curse of the Were-Turkey, Part 7

**Bayville** **High School** **Gymnasium**

"Hey, Dunkie!" Tommy Flutie greeted as he walked up to Duncan Matthews. With him was James Perry. Duncan himself was sitting on a bench in the boys' locker room. He looked spooked.

"Hey man. What's up?" James Perry wondered. Duncan sighed.

"Fellas, the weirdest thing happened to me last night." The blond jock told them. He then took their curious, yet puzzled looks as a signal to continue. "Last night, I was walking in the park, and suddenly, I felt a lot of pain."

"What kind of pain?" James wondered. "Back pain?"

"Head pain?" Tommy guessed.

"Knee pain?"

"Elbow pain?"

"Arm pain?"

"Nervous pain?"

"Neck pain?"

"Butt pain?" Tommy guessed. James and Duncan shot him a pair of funny looks.

"No!" Duncan groaned. "Just…pain. Pain all over. And then…everything went black. I woke up the next morning in Farmer Brown's turkey farm, with wrecked clothes, and a ticked-off Farmer Brown was feeding me the business end of a shotgun." He started to shiver. "I nearly got myself shot!" James and Tommy looked at Duncan like he had suddenly grown an extra head. "Don't look at me like that, fellas! I'm serious! I'm not making this stuff up!"

"Wow." Tommy blinked. "What'd you drink?"

"I was sober, you twit!" Duncan snapped. "Oh, for the love of-!" He huffed and got up. "I knew you guys would be no help!" He opened the door of his locker and… "AAAAAGH! GET OFF! OW! HOW DID THIS POLAR BEAR GET IN HERE?"

**The Brotherhood House**

"Hmm…" Pietro Maximoff sat in the kitchen, reading through his monster book. Fred Dukes walked into the kitchen.

"Why you readin' that?" Fred blinked. Pietro shrugged, not looking up.

"Because unlike you, I _can_ read." The silver-haired speedster answered nonchalantly. Fred scowled and moved like he was about to wring Pietro's neck…but he decided to back. He could cave in Pietro's skull later. Right now, there was something more important on his mind…raiding the fridge.

"Anyway, why're you reading that weird book?" Fred grunted.

"Well, to be honest, I heard today about a giant man-turkey running rampant in the mall last night." Pietro explained.

"So? Maybe it's a mutant. Shouldn't we go out and try to recruit him or something?" Fred blinked.

"No, it's a were-turkey! Just like in the book!" Pietro exclaimed. Fred burst out laughing.

"Yeah, right! A were-turkey!" Fred laughed. "That sounds like the creation of a fan fiction writer who wanted to create a wacky take on the werewolf legend." Pietro groaned.

"I'm telling you, Fred! They're real! One was spotted in Jersey three weeks ago!"

"Let me guess, it hung out with the Soprano family, right?" Fred snorted. "Get a life! And where are the others?"

"Out getting costumes for the dance." Pietro answered. "…well, actually, they got Lance, Paul, and John on it."

"I already got mine." Fred grinned. "I'm gonna be a pumpkin!" Pietro snickered.

"You're fat enough for the costume." The silver-haired speedster snickered. Fred scowled and pulled out a tin can from the fridge. He pitched it at Pietro, clonking the speedster upside the head. "OW!"

**The Bayville Mall**

Tabitha Smith, Jean Grey, Amara Aquilla, Rogue, and Kitty Pryde were in a costume shop in the Bayville Mall, trying to find costumes for the big Fall Dance.

"Ooh, I like this one." Jean held up a Xena costume.

"You would." Tabby snickered.

"Why can't I find a costume worthy of being on my royal person?" Amara complained. "Nothing with a Roman theme. Gods, that's all I ask."

"Something tells me that you'd like to see the Starchild dressed as a Roman Emperor." Rogue snickered. Amara smiled dreamily.

_Considering I intend to make him my royal consort, that could actually happen._ Amara thought.

"Hey look, Raggedy Ann!" Jean grinned, pulling out a Raggedy Ann costume. "I can get Scott to dress as Raggedy Andy! It's perfect!"

"…Meh." Tabitha shrugged, eyeing another costume. "Hey, I could dress up like Madonna in the 1980s." Meanwhile, the X-Girls were being noticed…by a couple members of the Brotherhood.

"Aw great." Lance Alvers moaned. "The X-Geek Girls." Lance sighed. "Great! Just great! Aw man, how am I going to get the other guys' costumes home without _them_ spotting us?"

"I can set them on fire." St. John Allerdyce offered, flicking open his lighter with a manic grin.

"Oh, you guys are such big babies." Paul Starr rolled his eyes with a sigh. "I'll go over there and distract them. Why are you so worried?"

"They don't like us!" John whimpered.

"You barely even _know_ them, you flamin' nut." Lance groaned.

"Oh, fellas…" Paul sighed. He walked over to the X-Girls. "Hey, ladies…" The girls turned and squealed.

"STARCHILD!" They squealed, running up to the purple-clad raven-haired mutant.

"What're you doing here?" Rogue asked.

"Well, I was here with my friends and…where's Kitty?" Paul blinked.

"Aw God!" Lance grumbled as he walked into view, dragging one leg because Kitty was clamped tightly around it. "What've you got on you, some kind of magic Lance-detector device on you or something?"

"I can't wait for the Fall Dance…" Kitty sighed happily. "Lance in white leather and silver makeup…uh-hawhawhawhawhawhawwwwwww…" She started to drool.

"Kitty, you're drooling on my jeans!" Lance exclaimed.

"What're you doing here, Alvers?" Jean narrowed her eyes.

"…We're looking for jobs as roadies for Van Halen." Lance crossed his arms.

"We're here to get costumes for the other guys." Paul explained.

"Awww, you two are so cute!" John cracked his trademark insane cackle as he walked up.

"No jokes, Allerdyce!" Lance snapped. "I got drool on my jeans!"

"Man, you're starting to sound like Pietro, mate." John snickered. Lance rubbed the bridge of his nose with two fingers and muttered about why God had stuck him with John and wondered what he had done in a past life to deserve it.

"…Just…Just help me get Kitty off me." Lance grumbled.

"Who was that, Paul?" Amara blinked.

"That's my friend John." Paul explained. "He's a nice guy, just a little touched in the head."

"Ooh, curtains!" John grinned.

"John! Get your crazy butt back here and help me!" Lance exclaimed. "John! Put down that lighter! Put it down! Paul, quit flirting and go get him!"

"Alright, alright. Relax, Lance. If you'll excuse me…" The laser-firing hypnotist codenamed Starchild grinned at the girls as he went to go get John. "John, come on…put that lighter…you can set fire to crumpled-up papers in the wastebasket we specially prepare for you. Remember the wastebasket?"

"Ugh…" Lance groaned. The geokinetic then heard a noise. It appeared t obe crashing, followed up by screaming. "What the-?" He and the X-Girls turned and noticed a wrecking ball swing by the store. Gripping onto the top of it for dear life was the screaming Scott Summers, the optic-blasting X-Man codenamed Cyclops. "What is up with Summers?"

"Scott?" Jean blinked.

"JEEEEEEEEAN!" Scott screamed in a panic. _God, what was I thinking when I thought of this plan?_ "STOP THIS CRAZY THING!"

"Scott! How'd you-?" Jean exclaimed.

"Oh, brother." Rogue rolled her eyes.

"Man, that was funny!" Tabby snickered. "Right, 'Mara?" The Nova Roman just shook her head shamefully in Scott's direction.

"Aw, man! I wish I had a camera." Lance snickered. "That's so classic!"

"How did he get a wrecking ball?" Tabby scratched her head.

"Who knows?" Jean sighed, shaking her head.

**Bayville High**

"_Mmm-hmmm hmm hmmm…_" Principal Kelly hummed happily as he walked into his office. "_Oh happy day…_" It was obvious he was still strung out on his medication. He happily danced to his desk and picked up his phone. "Yes, Papa Gino's? Yes, I'd like 10 large pizzas, please. Extra cheeeeeeeese. Deliver it to Bayville High School, ask for Principal Kelly. Thank you!" Kelly put down the phone and opened his drawer. What appeared to be a robotic teddy bear wearing boxing gloves reared up to its full height and started feeding Kelly punches.

Well, well, well! Looks like the madness has gone out of control! What insanity will happen next? Why did Scott hang onto a wrecking ball? Will Duncan ever figure it out? What costumes will the gang wear? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	76. Curse of the WereTurkey, Part 8

**The Starr Chronicles**

**Disclaimer: "Aunt Bethany, does your cat by any chance eat Jello?" – Chevy Chase as Clark Griswold, _National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation_**

Chapter 76: Curse of the Were-Turkey, Part 8

**The Brotherhood House**

Fred Dukes sat on the couch, reading Pietro's book on monsters. Also on the TV, Fred was watching a trashy talk show.

"WHY DID YOU DO IT?" A woman's voice screamed from the screen.

"She was there! I was horny! What was I supposed to do?" A man's voice exclaimed back.

"Hmmm…" The large mutant mumbled to himself. "This stuff is hilarious. Whoever wrote this book as one heck of an imagination." Todd and Althea walked down the stairs.

"Hey Freddy…" Todd greeted in a happy sing-song voice. Fred looked up at Todd with a raised eyebrow.

"…You're happy." He noticed. Todd grinned.

"Look who's here!" Todd grinned, pointing at Althea. Fred put down the book and noticed Althea. A smile formed on the large blond-mohawked mutant's face.

"Hey, Al. Nice to see you again." Fred smiled, holding out a meaty hand, which Althea shook.

"Hey big guy, nice to see you again." Althea grinned.

"How is it down in Miami?" Fred wondered. "I've always wanted to go down there again."

"Only because you enjoyed the Cuban food, yo." Todd snickered.

"Not to mention the jazz." Fred snapped his fingers.

"Well…" Althea shrugged. "Things have been rather ho-hum since you all showed up. Vinnie Boy has gone missing."

"Pfft." Todd scoffed. "Little wuss was probably hiding in his mother's basement, yo. Probably afraid of seeing me, the Mighty Toad, again."

"Mighty my big fat mutant rear." Fred mock jeered. "You needed that fancy Cosmic Axe thingy….Has Pietro ever found it?"

"Nope." Todd shook his head. "God knows he tries to, though. And Vinnie made me bring out the Axe, yo. He started it with the giant dinosaur."

"Oh yeah." Fred nodded. "Too bad it got wrecked up. My uncle owns a movie studio. He could've used that in one of his movies."

"Which one, yo?" Todd blinked. "Is it the uncle in Texas or the one in Nashville? I never can get all of them right."

"Neither. Uncle Nash in Texas owns a pig farm and Uncle Tex in Nashville is a country musician." Fred corrected. "I was talking about Uncle Billy in Hollywood."

"Oh, _that_ one." Todd nodded. Althea's curiosity was piqued.

"You got a big family, huh?" Althea wondered.

"Oh, yeah." Fred nodded.

"Hey, what you readin', yo?" Todd picked up the book Fred was reading and took a look at it, plopping down on the couch. "Hey, I recognize this book!"

"What is it?" Althea wondered, taking a seat next to Todd.

"It's Pietro's little book on monsters that he got a while back." Fred explained. "I heard on the news about some weirdness going down with a giant turkey over the past couple nights. He believes it's one of these fancy movie monsters. Me, I think it's a mutant turkey."

"Mutant turkeys wouldn't surprise me." Althea nodded. "After all, there are mutant people, why not mutant animals?"

"If you think it's a mutant turkey, why're you reading Pietro's book then?" Todd asked. Fred shrugged.

"Just thought I'd like a good laugh." The large mutant answered.

"I'll say." Althea agreed. "Hey, that one sounds funny."

"Yeah." Todd agreed. He started reading the page out loud. "The were-turkey is a creature that is the subject of obscure myths. An offshoot of the more famous werewolf, those who are under the curse are doomed to take on the characteristics of a turkey and transform into a turkey-like creature every night."

"Man, that really _does_ like somebody trying to put a wacky spin on the werewolf thing." Althea nodded.

"Yeah, here's more." Todd continued reading. "Were-turkeys' obscurity is due to a lot of factors. One of them is that in the transformed state, were-turkeys are incredibly stupid, too stupid to even be vicious. Were-turkeys have been known to walk off cliffs, stand around in the middle of rainstorms, and even walk into traffic."

"Whoa." Fred blinked. "And I thought regular turkeys were stupid."

"Also, the other reason for were-turkeys becoming rather obscure is the ease in escaping the curse." Todd continued. "To achieve freedom from the curse, the afflicted person has to be stabbed in the butt by a silver fork in their transformed state. Since were-turkeys lack the intelligence to even have instincts, it's pretty easy to cure." Althea whistled.

"If one of those things were in Bayville, it'd be too easy to deal with them." The dark-haired girl snickered. "Too bad there isn't one in Bayville."

"Hey Al, I wanna know. Who you gonna be dressed up as at the Fall Dance?" Todd wondered. Althea smiled.

"That is a secret." Althea's face then formed a smirk.

"I'm gonna be a pumpkin." Fred grinned. "Not just any pumpkin, though. I'm gonna be the Great Pumpkin."

"How do you know what the Great Pumpkin looks like, yo? It was never seen." Todd scratched his head. Fred shrugged.

"I'll just use my imagination then." The large mutant smiled.

**Bayville High**

Paul Starr, the hypnotic laser-firing mutant called Starchild, was sitting in class. He was listening to the teacher drone on.

"And in 1959, Fidel Castro led a revolution against the government…" The teacher droned. As he continued yakking, Paul noticed the kid next to him. The kid moved a note to his desk.

"From the redhead, believe it or not." The kid whispered to Paul. The raven-haired mutant turned his head and saw Jean. The red-haired telepath smiled, waved a little, and gave a wink. Paul waved back and read the note.

"Can't wait to hear your beautiful voice again." Paul murmured to himself. He looked up as he heard a noise. The teacher stopped his rhetoric and looked at the door. A pizza delivery guy was standing there, holding several boxes of pizzas. The students' jaws were agape.

"Hey!" He called. "Who ordered twelve cheese pizzas?" Paul raised his hand.

"Who the frick are you, and what're you doing here?" The teacher wondered loudly. The delivery guy looked at the teacher like he was an idiot.

"My job, perhaps?"

"Over here, dude." Paul smiled. The delivery guy put the pizzas on the ground next to Paul's desk, and the young mutant paid him. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, kid. Enjoy." The delivery guy gave Paul his change and left. The teacher witnessed the whole thing, and Jean giggled. The teacher shook his head, smiling.

"You know what?" He smiled as he saw Paul put one of the pizza boxes on his desk and open it. "I have seen some crazy stunts pulled in my time here, but I have to know, what in the name of God is this?" He asked Paul, gesturing at the pizza.

"…I'm learning about Cuba, sir. And having some food." The young mutant blinked in confusion. Jean's giggling intensified.

_He's so dream when he's confused._ Jean giggled.

"…I brought enough for everybody." Paul told the teacher. Humming was heard from outside. The class noticed a happily-humming Principal Kelly walk by. He was walking like he didn't have a care in the world. It was like he didn't even notice he was on fire.

"_Mhmm-hmm-mmm-hmm-hmmmm_…" The teacher sighed at the sight.

"Man, I'm _glad_ they let us drink on the job here." The teacher pulled out a flask from his jacket and took a deep swig. "Aw yeah, that's the ticket…"

**Downtown Bayville, that night**

"GOBBLE! GOBBLE! GOBBLE!" Duncan Matthews, in his were-turkey form, ran around the top floor of a parking garage. The poor creature seemed to have no idea whatsoever what it was doing.

"Hey, what's going on here?" A security guard heard the noise and decided to check it out. He came up to the floor and started waving around his flashlight. He heard the were-turkey gobble. "What the-?" He turned his flashlight in the direction of the noise, and he saw the were-turkey happily walk off the edge of the building.

"GOBBLE!" The were-turkey gobbled as he fell down the building. The stunned guard could only stand there and blink.

"What in the name of…?"

Well, well, well! Looks like our heroes just keep bringing in the madness! What insanity will happen next? What costumes will our heroes wear? Will Paul get in trouble? Will this dance ever happen? Will Kelly and Duncan ever get a break? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	77. Curse of the WereTurkey, Part 9

**The Starr Chronicles**

**Disclaimer: "My name is awesome, and I can count to tomato!"**

Chapter 77: Curse of the Were-Turkey, Part 9

**A back road in Bayville, morning**

"WAAAAAAAAAH!" Duncan Matthews screamed in fright. He was running down a road, and his clothes were wrecked. A gunshot was heard behind him. "Yi!" He ducked down. Pursuing him on the road was Farmer Brown, brandishing his shotgun. He was leaning out the passenger side of his old green pickup truck, firing the gun.

"I warned you, boy! I warned you!" Farmer Brown snapped. He turned to the cab. "Speed it up, son! I want a good shot at him!"

"No problem, pop." A younger male voice answered from the inside the cab.

"I warned you, boy!" Farmer Brown yelled at the running Duncan. "I warned you! You should've taken my advice, boy! I told you to stay away from my turkeys!"

"OH MY GOD!" Duncan screamed. "WHAT IS GOING HERE? WHY DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO ME? WHAT'D I DO TO DESERVE THIS?" A gunshot was heard, and Duncan leapt up. "YEOW! MY BUTT!"

**Bayville High, later that day**

"Man, that class was _boring…_" Lila Cheney grumbled as she put a book in her locker. "Boy, will I be glad to get out of here."

"Then why don't you go?" Todd Tolensky chuckled as he walked up to her, Fred Dukes right behind him. "We're gonna cut class later. You wanna come?"

"Sure." Lila grinned. "Uh oh. Here comes the repressive authority figure." Todd and Fred turned and saw a grinning-stupidly Principal Kelly walk by.

"Hi, Principal Kelly." Fred waved. Kelly turned and grinned widely.

"Well, if it isn't one of my favorite students! Come 'ere, ya big lug!" Kelly grabbed Fred in a hug.

"Uh…" The large mutant blinked. "I…am not comfortable right now."

"Whoa." Todd whispered to Lila. "That medication he's on must be messing him up real good." Lila snickered.

"Aw God, I wish we had a camera." The interstellar teleporter chuckled.

"I stole this from one of the football players." Todd pulled a small digital camera out of his pocket and handed it to Lila. "You can use it to film him."

"Heh heh." Lila smirked, taking the camera. "Tolensky, my little padawan, you have learned well."

"As if I needed lessons, yo." Todd smirked, looking at his nails. "I was _born_ to do this stuff."

"You guys…" Fred whined. "I don't feel comfortable right now…"

"Man, this stuff must really mess him up, yo." Todd snickered.

"I don't get it…" They heard a familiar voice mumble. The three turned and saw Duncan walk by, talking to himself. It was obvious he was just about to crack up. "I don't get it. I just don't get it. Every night, for the past few days, when night falls, I lose my memory. I wake up the next day in a turkey farm. I get shot at by an angry Farmer Brown, and I have no idea how I get there! Oh God!" He noted Scott Summers talking to another student.

"Yeah." Scott nodded at the student, not noticing Duncan there. "Evidently, _they_ think it'd be funny if I dressed up as a turkey." Upon hearing the word 'turkey', Duncan let out a girlish scream. He ran away, hands to his head. He continued running and screaming like that until he hit the school's front doors, face-first. "OW!" He fell on the floor. A silver-haired speedster noticed this.

_Hmmm…_ Pietro Maximoff put his finger on his chin, indicating he was thinking. _Duncan_ _sure is acting weird. Not to mention those weird giant turkey sightings for the past few nights. I wonder…could they be connected?_ The silver-haired speedster then shrugged. _Meh, I can't worry about that now. I gotta get my dates for the big dance!_ Pietro grinned as he thought about which women he'd date.

"And stay out of trouble, kiddies." Kelly grinned before walking away whistling.

"…Man…" Fred blinked. "…That man is messed up."

"You think?" Lila chuckled.

"Hey, guys." Paul Starr walked up to the trio. "How's it going?"

"Hey, Paul." Fred waved. "Girls still bothering you?"

"Not really." Paul smiled. "A lot of girls just wanted to tell me they were excited to see the Superstars play again tonight. Lance, John, Craig, and I are going over the set list. As a band member, Lila, you should be there."

"I'll be there. Don't worry." Lila nodded. "Relax." An explosion was heard. "What was that?"

"Sounded like it came from the science room!" Paul realized.

"BEHOLD! FIRE! BWA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" A certain Australian-accented voice boomed.

"OH MY GOD!" The science teacher could be heard screaming. "YOU LUNATIC! YOU PSYCHO! YOU BLEW OUT THE WALL!"

"BUT I MADE FIRE!"

"YOU STUPID, INCOMPETENT, DIM-WITTED, LAMEBRAINED BUFFOON!" The teacher screamed. "CAN YOUR TINY PATHETIC SHRIVELED LITTLE BRAIN EVEN REMOTELY COMPREHEND WHAT YOU HAVE JUST DONE?"

"I FIND THAT OFFENSIVE!" John snapped.

"WAH WAH WAH! I CAN CALL YOU WHATEVER I WANT, YOU SIMPLETON! I'M THE TEACHER!" The science teacher screamed back.

"Man, that guy shouldn't be qualified to teach." Paul shook his head.

"Tell me about it." Todd grumbled. "One time yo, he told me it would be a great source of pleasure for him to dissect me."

"Not to mention he makes fat jokes." Fred growled. "Whenever I raise my hand, he's always like, 'Yes, the tub of stupid lard' or 'Yes, the pile of retarded blubber'."

"What was Kelly _thinking_ when he hired him?" Todd blinked.

"Maybe Kelly was zonked out on that medication." Lila quipped. They noticed Kelly walk by again. He was happily whistling, not noticing that lobsters were clamped all over him. "That looks very painful."

"I'm surprised he noticed it, yo." Todd blinked. The three noticed Scott walk up to them. "Uh-oh. Here comes the Anti-Fun Squad." Todd snickered.

"What do you want, Summers?" Lila sighed. "Don't worry, we're not making plans to conquer the universe or anything like that." Scott sighed.

"Look…" Scott sighed. "I know that half of you will be too busy with this little band of yours to try anything."

"You got that right, Visor-Boy." Lila narrowed her eyes.

"I'm just going to say that…well…" Scott tugged on his collar.

"What? That we rule?" Fred grinned.

"Please God, let him say it! Please God, let him say it!" Todd laughed hopefully, making a prayer gesture and a grin on his face as he looked upwards. Scott groaned.

"…Jean's a fan." Scott mumbled.

"What?" Lila grinned, putting a hand to her ear. Scott groaned.

"Jean is a fan. She likes the band. I just hope the performance doesn't cause a riot."

"With Starchild singing, there's gonna be a riot, alright." Todd snickered under his breath.

"You worry too much, skinny." Fred chuckled. "Here, eat somethin'." Fred pulled a sandwich out of his pocket and stuck it in Scott's mouth. The optic blaster groaned as Todd and Lila snickered. Scott threw up his arms and walked away, wondering what he did to deserve it.

"Well, that was amusing." Lila smiled. "What're you guys going to do for the dance?"

"I'm gonna be a pumpkin." Fred grinned.

"I'm inviting Althea to it, yo." Todd grinned.

"But she ain't a student." Fred scratched his head.

"Ah, we can invite guests." Todd shrugged. He then saw Duncan running by, screaming. "Maybe I'll dress up as a turkey, just to freak him out."

"Oh, man…" Paul rolled his eyes.

"Heh heh." Lila snickered. "That's a good one, Toady."

"Thank you." Todd smiled, taking a bow. "Now if you all will excuse me, I have to prepare a special surprise for the football-playin' boys in the locker room." Todd left his three friends to ponder what he meant by that.

"What'd he mean by that?" Lila wondered.

"Oh, I think we all know." Fred smirked. "Todd's got a rep for pranks."

Well, well, well! Looks like the madness will continue! What insanity will happen next? What is Toad up to? Will our heroes make the dance a hit? Will Kelly and Duncan ever get a break? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	78. Curse of the WereTurkey, Part 10

**The Starr Chronicles**

**Disclaimer: "ONE PUNCH! ONE PUNCH!" – Blue Beetle/Ted Kord, _Justice League #5_**

Chapter 78: Curse of the Were-Turkey, Part 10

**The Bayville High Gymnasium, earlier that day**

"YEAH! WHOO!" Duncan Matthews whooped. He and the rest of Bayville High's football team, the Hawks, had ran into the locker room to celebrate their win. "Alright! We beat the Bulldogs, boys!"

"12 to 0, baby!" James Perry high-fived his teammate. "Our D was like an iron wall! Nothing could get past it!"

"Oh yeah! Whoo!" Duncan whooped. Tommy Flutie shook his head with a smile. He opened his locker.

"Hey what the-?" All the others lockers opened up at the same time, making the rest of the players stop partying and blink.

"Hey what ARGH!" They got doused in what appeared to be shaving cream.

"Ugh!" Duncan growled. "I know who did this! Let's hit the showers, and then kill that frog boy!" The team immediately nodded and did so. After they showered and changed, they noticed something.

"**_AAAAAAARGH! TOOOOOOOOOAD!"_**

**Bayville High Auditorium**

It was the big night. The night of the Bayville High Fall Dance. And a certain quintet of young mutants were getting ready backstage. In a room converted into a dressing room, the five members of the Superstars were getting ready. There, they could still hear the noise of DJ-provided music thumping from the basketball court.

"This is going to be great! This is going to be so great!" Paul Starr grinned as he sat in front of his mirror, painting purple glitter on his star birthmark.

"Oh yeah." Lance nodded, painting his silver shape on his face. "We're gonna rock Bayville High." He then leapt up from his seat and made a dramatic gesture. "Boys and girls of Bayville High, are you ready to hear some high-octane hard rock? Then put your hands together for your favorite band, the greatest band in the world, the one, the only…Lance, John, Paul, Lila, and Craig: The Superstars! Rahhhhhhhh! Rahhhhhh!"

"Sit down before you hurt yourself." Lila teased with a grin, adjusting one of her sashes. Lance drooped his head.

"I get no respect." Lance mumbled as he sat back down.

"Maybe you would get more respect if you became someone else." John suggested. "You know, like the caterpillar gets no respect, but when he becomes a butterfly, everybody loves him and all the chicks wanna date him." The insane reddish-blond Aussie put his arm across Lance's shoulders and shook the geokinetic lightly. "That's what you should do, mate. Make a cocoon, sit in it for a while, and become a nice butterfly." Lance looked up at the grinning Aussie with a deadpan look.

"Allerdyce…do you even _listen_ to half the words that come out of your mouth sometimes?" Lance asked the pyrokinetic. John thought about it.

"Not really. That's not fun."

"I think in your case, it should be a requirement." Lance lightly pushed John's arm off.

"I never understood it meself." John shrugged, going back to painting his face. "All me life, everyone always looked at me funny. You know, like I was nuts or something. I never understood why. Hey, did anyone else see that pink UFO last night?" The other four Superstars looked at John as if he grew an extra head. "What? It was only a question."

"John…" Craig shook his head. "…You are messed up." A knock was heard at the door. The five Superstars turned in unison.

"Come in." They all called in unison.

"Whoa." Paul blinked. "Weird." The door slowly opened, and Kitty peeked in.

"Oh, it's just Kitty. She's cool." Lance waved.

"You would say that." Craig rolled his eyes.

"Ah shaddap." Lance jeered.

"Like, I just wanted to wish you guys good luck for your show tonight." Kitty grinned widely.

"Hey, no prob." Lila shrugged. "Thanks anyway, but we don't need luck."

"Yeah, we rock!" John whooped.

"Like, you guys certainly have an attitude." Kitty smirked, crossing her arms.

"Brian May of Queen once said that back when the band first started out, they had the attitude that they were superstars already, and look where they went." Paul explained.

"Oh yeah." Lance grinned. He and Paul high-fived. Kitty giggled.

"Nice costume, Kitty." Paul pointed out. Kitty was dressed as Princess Leia.

"Thanks." Kitty smiled. "It's _sooo_ me."

"Shouldn't you be with the other rebels out in Hoth?" A puzzled John scratched his head. Kitty blinked.

"Like…is he alright?" Kitty whispered to Lance.

"He…has…stuff in his head." Lance whispered back. Kitty nodded in understanding.

"I see…" The phaser understood. "Anyway, I gotta, like, get back to the party. See ya!" Kitty waved and ran off.

"Well…that was interesting, Lance…" Lila blinked at the geokinetic. "Lance?" She turned her head and noticed that Lance was staring at the door rather goofily. "Uh oh…"

"Oh great. We lost him." Craig grumbled.

"Looks like those pink aliens took his brain." John tapped Lance's head.

"John…shaddap." Craig grunted, crossing his arms. Meanwhile, out in the big basketball court, the party was going down. And people were having fun.

"Look at her." A cheerleader scoffed at a certain black-and-blue-haired girl dressed up as a Xena-like warrior standing next to Toad, who was dressed as a Roman emperor. "What does she see in the ugly Toad?"

"Who knows?" Another cheerleader scoffed. "Let's go get some punch."

"They're so jealous." Althea smirked at Todd. The frog-like mutant shrugged.

"I guess so." He heard noise. "I had better hide, yo." Todd quickly ducked underneath a nearby refreshment table, his presence camouflaged by the tablecloth. Althea blinked as several ticked off football players stomped by, grumbling about killing Todd, and their skins had mysteriously turned green and got covered in warts. Althea's jaw dropped. She walked over to the table and crawled under it.

"Todd, what'd you do?" Althea blinked. Todd snickered.

"I put a little something in their showers, heh heh." Toad snickered. Principal Kelly, grinning goofily, stood at the stage, with a microphone.

"Helloooo, hellooooo…" Kelly waved. The students stopped chatting and dancing, and the DJ stopped playing. The students all turned to Kelly. "Now I know you alllll have been waiting allllll night long to see these kids in action! So, I present to you…the Superstars!" A snap was heard, and Kelly was hit in the head by a falling spotlight. The kids clapped in delight, oblivious to the fact they just witnessed their principal get knocked out by a spotlight. A fog machine created the ground-level cloudy effect as the curtains opened and the band started to play.

"Jean!" Scott, dressed as a king, exclaimed. Jean, dressed as a medieval queen, swooned and started to faint. She would've hit the ground if Scott didn't catch her. "Aw, man…"

_This is it._ Paul Starr smiled happily in his mind as he looked out at the cheering costumed crowd. _This is what I always wanted. The cheering crowds, the music making them want to have fun and enjoy themselves and dance._

"EEEEEEEEEK!" Kitty squealed ecstatically, jumping up and down and clapping her hands. She tried to run up to the stage, but Fred, dressed as a pimp, held her back gently. "LEMME GO! LEMME GO!"

"Easy, X-Geek." Fred chuckled. "Lance can't be mauled on stage right now."

"Man, Kitty is crazy when he plays on stage." Kurt, dressed as one of the Three Musketeers, chuckled. Roberto, dressed as Tom Selleck's character in Magnum P.I., nodded in agreement.

"Oh yeah." Roberto nodded. "We'd better help the fat guy out."

"Ja." Kurt nodded. Suddenly, screams were heard. "Vhat?" Several students recoiled in horror as the were-turkey ran in, dressed in a tattered shirt and jeans.

"Oh my God!"

"What is that?" The students, and the X-Men and Brotherhood all backed up slightly. The were-turkey looked around, looking positively confused.

"That hair…" Tabby, dressed as Madonna in her early 80s look, blinked. "Duncan? Is that you?"

"Gobble?" The were-turkey cocked its head at Tabby.

"What happened to him?" Scott wondered.

"Maybe it was the science lab explosion. Mutated him or something." A nerd suggested. The were-turkey noticed Principal Kelly slowly starting to wake up from his unconsciousness.

"Oh…" Kelly moved his head slightly with his moan. The were-turkey gobbled and jumped on the principal, starting to bounce on him. "AGH! HELP! OW! MY BACK! MOMMY!" Althea and Todd peeked up.

"Huh." Todd blinked. "Looks like Duncan's weirdness factor just grew a few points." Althea looked around and noticed a fork sticking out of Todd's back pocket (Todd wore jeans underneath his toga). She pulled it out. "Hey…"

"What's this for?" Althea blinked.

"I'unno." Todd shrugged. "I took that from some old rich guy."

"Hey, remember what Pietro's book said about curing the were-turkey?" Althea grinned.

"Yeah, you need to poke it in the butt with a silver fork. So?" Todd remembered. He then realized what Althea was talking about. "Oh…"

"I hope this is silver." Althea mumbled as she snuck out and started to move through the crowd. She noticed that nobody seemed to be helping the principal. But then again, they probably didn't know what to do. Bayville had just become the first school to be 'attacked' by a were-turkey. She crept into position. "Hey turkey!" She called. The were-turkey looked up and blinked. She then pitched the fork like a shuriken, and it hit the turkey-man right in the rump. The were-turkey screamed and fell on his face.

"OOF!" Kelly mumbled. The were-turkey changed back into Duncan.

"Oh…ooh…" Duncan moaned, holding his head and getting to his feet. He looked around. "How'd I get here…and why is a fork in my butt?"

Well, well, well! Looks like the menace finally ends! What insanity will happen next? What'll happen to Duncan? What'll Althea think of Bayville after all this? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	79. WereTurkey Aftermath

**The Starr Chronicles**

**Disclaimer: "I love this game!"**

Chapter 79: Were-Turkey Aftermath

**The Brotherhood Boarding House**

Todd Tolensky and Fred Dukes sat on the couch in the living room, watching TV. Fred was flicking through the channels in a bored manner, and Todd was sitting with his laptop on his lap, typing away as usual. He was typing up something.

"Huh…" Fred sighed tiredly, putting his elbow on the arm of the couch to prop up his head. "Man, this sucks. Nothing good is _ever_ on at this time." He looked over at the Toad. He noticed that Toad seemed to look rather sad and quiet, even though he was typing. "Hey, little buddy. Something bothering you?" Todd stopped typing, and didn't even look up at Fred. He let out a sigh.

"I'm fine." The young amphibious mutant sighed sadly, running a hand through his long dirty blond hair. He then went back to typing. "It's nothing."

"You miss Althea, huh?" Fred realized. Todd nodded slowly. "Ah, don't worry about it. She said she'd see you again. And you can always have Lila teleport you over to Miami to visit her again." Fred put a reassuring hand on Todd's shoulder. Todd let out a small smile.

"Thanks, yo." Todd smiled. "It's just…I can't stand it when she's not around, you know? Things just seem to be…you know…less…less fun." He sighed. "I dunno." He went back to his typing.

"What're you doing?" Fred blinked up at the amphibious mutant.

"I'm doing a blog, yo."

"A blog?" Fred blinked. "Oh yeah, I heard of those. Isn't that kind of like a chatroom?"

"Kind of." Todd answered. "A blog is a website where you can make entries in. Kinda like an online journal. Mine has a feature that allows people to respond to my entries and say what they think." Fred looked at the screen.

"Todd's Lily Pad?" Fred read the title.

"Yup. Al came up with it." Todd grinned. "I basically just talk about my life and my opinions on things."

"Huh." Fred wondered. "What do they use these blog things for?"

"All kinds of stuff." Todd answered. "Sharing information and pictures, saying opinions, and discuss issues." A lightbulb went off in Fred's head.

"Can you share recipes on those blog things?"

"Yeah." Todd nodded. "There are lots of blogs out there, on all sorts of things. I'm sure there are quite a few places where you can go to get recipes and stuff."

"Hmm…" Fred nodded his head, his facial expression indicating that the wheels in his head were turning. "Maybe you could ask around."

"Yeah, no problem." Todd nodded. "I know a guy who can find anything on the Internet. I ask him, and he'll have some places no problem."

"Cool. Thanks." Fred grinned. He then remembered something. "Hey Toad, shouldn't we be in school today?"

"I'm lyin' low, yo." Todd grinned. "After how I caused those football clowns to end up look like monster movie rejects at the Fall Dance, I think it'd be a good idea if I kept away from them for a while."

**Outside a comic store in Bayville**

"Alright, boys!" James Perry crowed, holding up his baseball bat. He and the rest of Bayville High's football team stood outside a comic shop downtown. They were carrying baseball bats and various other implements. "Now I'll go and see if that Toad is in there, alright?"

"What if he is? Can we whup 'im?" One player inquired hopefully with a big grin on his face. James sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Yes Billy, if he's in there. If he isn't, then we go look somewhere else." James walked inside. A couple minutes later, he walked back out to the crowd.

"The guy said he hasn't been here all day, but he usually comes in on Wednesdays." James reported. "Sorry, you guys. We'll have to come back tomorrow." The jocks let out a disappointed "Awwwwww!"

"But I was waiting all _daaaaaay!_" Billy whined. "It's not fair! I gotta beat something!" Billy kicked the ground in frustration, and then walked away, head down in dejection. The rest of the team then walked away in the same manner. "It's not fair! It's just not fair at all, man!"

"I know, I know." James sighed.

**The Brotherhood Boarding House**

"I…see." Fred wondered. "Yeah, but I could watch your back."

"Freddy, you and I don't have the same classes." Todd reminded. "You wouldn't be able to watch my back all the time, yo."

"Oh, right." Fred nodded.

"Besides, I never was one for school, yo. I'm too much of a free spirit." Todd grinned. He heard a fly buzzing around. "Ooh, fly!" He snapped out his tongue and caught the fly. As quick as lightning, he managed to reel his tongue with the captive fly back in his mouth and eat it. Fred blinked.

"Huh. With a tongue like that, no wonder Althea is into you." Fred chuckled.

**Bayville High**

It was another day at Bayville High School. Last night, Bayville held their annual Fall Dance, and it was a huge smash. The only hitch was the weirdness with Duncan. Otherwise that, it was a great night. The Superstars were a hit yet again. And their lead singer, Paul Starr, was sitting in the cafeteria. He had a brown paper bag in front of him.

"Let's see what I got in here today…" Paul rifled through the paper bag. He pulled out a sandwich wrapped in plastic wrap. "Ham and cheese sandwich…" He put down the sandwich and rifled through the bag again. He pulled out another sandwich wrapped in plastic wrap. "Another ham and cheese sandwich…" He put down the sandwich, and rifled through the bag yet again. He pulled out a couple small bags. "Chips…" He then pulled out a small plastic bag with orange carrot sticks in it. "Baby carrot sticks…" Lastly, Paul pulled out a plastic yellow bottle. "…And finally, chocolate milk." He looked at his lunch and smiled. "Yummy." He unwrapped one of his sandwiches and started to chow down.

"Hi, Paul." A familiar voice greeted. Paul looked up and saw Jean Grey standing at the table, carrying a school lunch on a tray. The red-haired mutant telekinetic and telepath smiled at the dark-haired singer and guitarist. "Is this seat taken?" Paul blinked.

"Uhm, no. No, it's not taken all. Have a seat." Paul smiled back, motioning to the bench across from him.

"Thank you." Jean smiled. She immediately took a seat across from Paul.

"What's up?" The dark-haired mutant wondered.

"I just wanted to say that I thought you and the other Superstars were wonderful last night." Jean complimented.

"Thanks, Jean. I really appreciate it." Paul nodded. "Last night was great."

"Oh yes, it sure was." Jean agreed. "Well…except for that strange thing with Duncan last night."

"Oh yeah." Paul nodded. "What was _that_ all about, anyway?" Jean shrugged.

"I have no idea, to be honest." Jean admitted. She didn't notice Scott start to walk up to the table. "It was like some weird version of those old werewolf legends, you know?" Neither she nor Jean noticed Scott run away screaming.

"This _is_ Bayville, Jean." Paul reminded with a chuckle. "Things like this happen all the time. Remember Roxor?"

"Oh, yeah…" Jean nodded. "I remember. That was crazy." Noise was heard. "What the?" Paul leaned over and Jean turned around in her seat. The noise was laughing and gobbling. Duncan Matthews walked by. As he did, all the kids had started making gobbling noise and 'flapping-wings' motions. The jock groaned.

"Why me, God?" Duncan moaned as the other students continued to make turkey noises around. "Why?" He then screamed as someone threw hot chili on him. "AUGH!" Rogue hi-fived a pot-holding Kitty. The Southern girl then noticed Jean sitting across from Starchild, and her eyes narrowed. "NOW THIS AIN'T RIGHT!" The football player wailed. "THESE ARE BRAND NEW PANTS! I JUST GOT 'EM YESTERDAY! AW DEAR GOD!"

"Huh." Jean blinked. "I guess the school hasn't quite gotten over the 'Duncan is a turkey monster' thing."

"It's only been one day, Jean." Paul shrugged.

"Hey dude, change into a turkey again!" One kid called at Duncan.

"SHUT UP!" Duncan exclaimed.

"Anyway Paul, I was wondering…" Jean took Paul's hand. "I was wondering if you would…"

"Hi, sugah." Rogue quickly greeted, smiling. She took a seat next to the Starchild. "How are you doing?"

"Hello, Rogue." Paul grinned. "How are you doing?" Jean narrowed her eyes at the Goth.

"Oh, Ah'm doin' just fine, sugah." Rogue answered sweetly. "Ah just wanted to say that Ah thought the Superstars were absolutely wonderful last night."

"Thank you, Rogue." Paul accepted the compliment warmly. "I really appreciate that."

"Yeah. You boys were amazing last night." Rogue gushed, and Jean narrowed her eyes. Paul chuckled.

"Yeah. Despite that weirdness with Duncan." Paul agreed.

"Ah was thinking, sugah…" Rogue let her Southern drawl come out full force. "Maybe you can Ah could go out sometime? Ah know this great little coffee place…"

"Don't you have a coffin to sleep in, Mrs. Dracula?" Jean muttered under her breath. Rogue scowled.

"Excuse me?" Rogue growled. "Ah believe you said something."

"Nothing." Jean responded. "Vampire." She added under her breath.

"Ah think you can come up with something a _little_ more original." Rogue grumbled, crossing her arms. "Red Menace." She added under her breath.

"Oh dear…" Paul blinked.

"What are you doing here, Rogue?" Jean crossed her arms in an annoyed manner. "In case you're wondering, I was going to ask Paul if he'd like to study with me later today."

"Well, _Ah_ was going to ask Paul if he'd like to meet me at that coffee shop Ah like and read with me." Rogue scowled.

"Why would Paul want to go to _that_ dive?" Jean snorted. Like heck if she was going to let some redneck Goth steal away _her_ Child of the Stars.

"Um, excuse me-" Paul put up a finger and tried to calm the two down.

"It'd be a lot better for him that watching you and the other cheerleaders practice prancing around like morons!" Rogue snarled. Evidently Jean didn't quite get the message about which girl was number one to the Starchild.

"_Excuse me?_" Jean exclaimed.

"You heard me!" Rogue snapped.

"That's it!" Jean exclaimed. She leapt across the table and tackled Rogue. The two mutant girls started to catfight.

"Oh, dear…" Paul sighed. An explosion was heard, and screams were heard.

"OH MY GOD! MR. KELLY! ARE YOU ALRIGHT?"

"I'm okay…oh look…how cool. My nose isn't on my face anymore…"

Well, well, well! Looks like the insanity will continue! What madness will happen next? Will the X-Girls have more catfights? Will Duncan and Kelly ever get a break? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	80. Hittin' Hollywood, Part 1

**The Starr Chronicles**

**Disclaimer: "Where're my pants?" – Michael J. Fox as Marty McFly, Back to the Future**

Chapter 80: Hittin' Hollywood, Part 1!

**The Bayville High Hawks' locker room**

"Heh heh, heh heh…" Todd Tolensky and Craig Starr snickered as Todd poured a liquid into a cardboard box. "Good thing I found a use for this liquid heat stuff I stole, yo."

"What's it for, anyway?" Craig wondered.

"Meh." Todd shrugged. "Something to do with massaging players when mixed with player. Some kinda sports medicine type of deal, I don't know." He finished off the bottle. "Okay, you can mix, but don't touch it."

"Good thing I brought my nightstick." Craig sighed. He pulled it out of his jacket and start mixing around the contents. "Man, those dumb jocks are going to be angry."

"I ain't afraid of no angry dumb jocks. I plan to be far far away." Todd snickered. "Did you put the itching powder in their uniforms?"

"Oh yeah." Craig smirked. "Those idiots are going to be in for one uncomfortable practice…"

**The Brotherhood Boarding House, Bayville, that afternoon**

"_Hmmm hmm hmm hmmm hmmmm…_" Fred Dukes hummed happily as he laid meats on a sandwich. A stepladder was next to him. On it was a whistling Lila Cheney, who was fixing Fred's Mohawk.

"Okay, Big Man." Lila smiled in satisfaction as she finished fixing Fred's hair. "There you go. All fixed." Fred looked up.

"Thanks Lila." Fred smiled as Lila went down the stepladder and folded it up.

"No problem." The interstellar teleporter grinned as she walked out of the kitchen to put the ladder away. Fred followed her into the living room, where he sat down, holding his sandwich on a plate. He noticed Pietro next to him, flicking through channels boredly.

"Reality show…reality show…reality show…reality show…reality show…don't these TV guys do anything with _scripts_ anymore? Reality show…reality show…" The silver-haired speedster sighed tiredly. "God, I wish there was _something_ on TV." Fred looked at the TV. All he was able to see were flickers because Pietro was changing channels so fast.

"Hey Pietro, slow down, huh?" Fred groaned. "I can't see what's on TV!"

"Nothing worth watching anyway. Don't worry about it." Pietro snorted.

"But there may be something on that _I_ like!" Fred countered.

"Sorry, Blobbo. I didn't see any cooking shows." Pietro sighed. "So stop whining." Fred narrowed his eyes. He picked up a poker and promptly clobbered Pietro with it. The large mutant then took the remote from the drooling, unconscious speedster and switched it to a random channels. The large mutant then grinned. "Ooh! COPS! I love this show!" He turned to Pietro. "See, Pietro? I found something I like." The speedster only drooled in answer. The sound of the front door closing was heard. "Hey, Lance." The brown-haired geokinetic walked into the room, looking through the mail.

"Bill…" Lance threw an envelope over his shoulder. "Bill…" Another envelope got thrown. "Bill…" A third envelope suffered the same fate. "Bill…" A fourth envelope flew over his shoulder. "Huh?" Lance scrunched his face at one envelope. "A beauty salon bill…Pietro." He threw that envelope over his shoulder.

"Hey, Lance." Fred greeted with a wave.

"Hey." Lance mumbled. "What the-?" He noticed one envelope. He read the address. "Oh my God…"

"What is it, Lance?" Fred got up and walked over to the earthmover. Lance read the address.

"Fred…" He told the powerhouse mutant. "Get the other Superstars."

**A few minutes later**

One phone call. One phone call was all it took. All Fred had to do was make one phone call to Lila's cell phone, and she did the rest. The wily former thief managed to gather the rest of the Superstars. The five mutant band members were sitting in Lance's room.

Lance's room was the room of any standard teenage metalhead, with rock posters on the walls, a messy bed, and in a general state of disarray.

"John…" Lance narrowed his eyes at the insane Aussie. "Stay away from my curtains."

"Aww!" The pyrokinetic pouted from his seat on the floor. He was sitting next to Lance's window. His lighter was very close to Lance's curtains. Too close for Lance's comfort. "You guys _never_ let me have any fun!"

"Oh relax, you flame-brain." Lila teased from her position, sitting on Lance's desk.

"Come on, John." Paul took John's lighter.

"Mate! That's not fair!" John whined.

"Don't worry, John." Paul shook his head. "I'll give it back to you once this little meeting is done." John pouted.

"I hope so."

"What is this about, Lance?" Craig grumbled. He was leaning against a corner with crossed arms.

"Yeah! Tell us, Lance! I can't wait anymore!" Paul grinned excitedly. Lance waved an envelope. He was leaning against his door, smirking.

"Gentlemen…" Lance started. "And lady…" He motioned at Lila.

"Thank you." Lila smiled sweetly.

"I have in my hand, an envelope that could change our lives."

"What? We may have won a million dollars?" Craig scoffed.

"Yeah, those things are scams." Lila agreed.

"Will we get to set fires?" John grinned hopefully.

"Oh, God…" Craig groaned. "You are a nut, Allerdyce. You know that?" John blinked as he thought about that question.

"…Mmmm…hmmm, I never noticed." John shrugged, making Paul snicker.

"Whatever." Lance sighed. He opened up the envelope, and read the letter inside out loud. "Dear Superstars. We were sent an amateur music video which showcased your demo. We at Rolling Records were very impressed by your talent, and we wish to sign you all to a multi-album contract as soon as you can. We invite you to come up to our offices in Hollywood, California for signing." Lance looked up. "Well?" The other four Superstars' jaws were on the floor, even Craig's.

"Oh…my…God!" Lila squealed delightedly. "Is this real!"

"We're…we're…gonna…a record deal? An actual honest-to-God record deal?" Paul's eyes sparkled with excitement and hope.

"Oh yeah." Lance grinned. The Superstars looked at each other.

"**_YAHOO!_**" The band leapt up to their feet and started dancing around. "_We're gonna be famous! We're gonna be famous!_"

"Hey, wait a minute!" Lance realized something. "Who sent those guys the tape?"

**The Xavier Institute**

"I love the Internet. And I love technology." Jamie Madrox grinned to himself as he sat in front of Kitty's laptop in the kitchen, surfing around the Rolling Records website.

**The Brotherhood House**

Craig Starr sat on the roof of the Brotherhood House. He was looking up at the sky.

_I can't believe it._ The LA-born ex-gangbanger thought to himself as he looked up at the sky. _I just can't believe it. A record deal. Man, I thought my life couldn't get any crazier. Grew up in a rough home, joining a gang, discovering my mutant powers, finding out I had a twin brother, then we left Los Angeles and found ourselves here. Then I joined up with this band, and then we get a record deal…_

"Penny for your thoughts?" A voice asked. Craig turned his head and found Wanda climbing onto the roof.

"What're you doing up here, Wanda?" Craig wondered.

"I come up here sometimes. To think and to get away from the idiots." Wanda answered, taking a seat next to the dark-haired ex-gang member.

"Yeah, I can understand that." Craig nodded. "There are times when I want to get away from my idiot brother, too."

"To be honest, Craig…" Wanda looked at the ex-gang member. "I wish I could have had Paul as a brother."

"Why?" Craig raised an eyebrow. "Paul is annoying. He's constantly smiling, constantly trying to get me to 'warm up', constantly getting on my back…"

"Paul isn't an egomaniac." Wanda countered. "He doesn't constantly go on about how good looking he is, he doesn't go on and on about how great he is, he doesn't pull stupid pranks, he doesn't act like an idiot…"

"Yeah, but you can scare the living bejesus out of him, so he's too scared of you to annoy you." Craig sighed. "I wish I could intimidate Paul."

"Yeah, it's fun." Wanda admitted. "So…I heard you guys managed to get yourselves a record deal."

"Yup." Craig nodded. "Kinda crazy when you think about it. I never thought I'd become a signed musician."

"I never thought I'd get to _know_ a famous musician." Wanda shrugged. "So I guess we're even."

**The Bayville High football field**

"Alright, boys!" Duncan ordered to his team. The Hawks were in the middle of practice. Principal Kelly was sitting in the stands, watching with pride and hooded eyes.

"Man, these stress meds are sweeeeeeet…" He drawled.

"Blue 42!" Duncan yelled. "Blue 42! Ugh…"

"What's wrong?" One player snapped.

"I don't feel good." Duncan grunted. "I feel uncomfortable right now. Oh God…" He started scratching himself. "Man, I'm itching! All over!"

"Me, too!" Another player started scratching his shoulders.

"Ah God!" With various cries and curses, every player started scratching their skins. The itching powder was really irritating them. And Toad also had a special surprise…

"There's a fire in my pants!" Duncan screamed, throwing the ball accidentally. It whacked Kelly in the nose, knocking him off the stands.

Well, well, well! Looks like our heroes are on the road again! What insanity will happen next? Will our heroes get signed? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	81. Hittin' Hollywood, Part 2

**The Starr Chronicles**

**Disclaimer: "I had dinner with two women at the same time. 'Cuz I'm a stud." – The Flash, Justice League Unlimited**

Chapter 81: Hittin' Hollywood, Part 2!

**The Brotherhood House**

"_Hmm hm hmmm hm hmmmm…_" Todd Tolensky hummed in his room. He was rifling through a drawer, throwing stuff out of it. "Where is it?" He muttered to himself. "Where did I put that blasted…Ah!" He pulled out a small silver device. "My digital camera, yo." He grinned. "There we go! Now I can take some pictures!" He hopped out of a room and started to go down the stairs, when he noticed Lance standing at the stairs. "Hey Lance, what's up?" Lance sighed.

"I'm sorry, Toad." Lance apologized sadly, shaking his head. "But the trip to Hollywood is Superstars business. This is about the band, man."

"Does that mean I can't come?" Todd's head drooped.

"I'm sorry, Toady." Lance sighed. "But we're not going to Hollywood to sightsee. We're going to Hollywood just so we can take care of some band business."

"Awww…" Todd turned around and started to trudge back up the stairs. Lance looked at the young amphibious mutant and sighed.

"Oh…alright. Come on." Lance waved. Todd turned.

"Really?" Todd asked hopefully.

"Why not?" Lance shrugged. "Anytime we go anywhere, we end up bringing everybody anyway."

**Outside the Brotherhood House, some time later**

The Brotherhood were packing things into the U-Haul that was attached to the back of Lance's jeep.

"Okay, is that everything?" Lance answered. Lila looked at a clipboard.

"Changes of clothes…check." Lila checked off an item.

"Snacks, check!" Blob held up several bags of chips.

"Baseball bat for knocking people out, check." Wanda held up a baseball bat.

"Uh, Wanda?" A puzzled Lila blinked. "Why would you need a baseball bat." Wanda shrugged.

"Why not? Besides, I lived in an asylum." Wanda answered simply.

"If you say so." Lila shrugged. "We got anything for pictures?"

"Digital camera, check yo!" Todd held up his digital camera with a grin. He then put it back into the bag that was slung around his shoulder. He also had his laptop computer in it.

"Where'd you get that camera, anyway?" Lance asked.

"I got it for him." Lila grinned. "He's become a little tech-head, our little Toady has."

"I can't believe this…" Pietro whined as he held up a bag. "Do you know how many hair care products I need to keep my hair looking as fabulous as it always does?" He pointed at his bag. "Look at this! One bag is not enough!"

"Pietro, _salons_ have less hair care products than you." Lila sighed.

"Quit being a baby, Maximoff." Craig grumbled. "Hair care products ain't important. I've lived in the streets of LA."

"Yeah, but in LA, you could get your hair styled just by walking by a line of girls waiting to enter a club." Paul quipped with a grin.

"True." Craig nodded. "Very true."

"Do we have our instruments?" Lance asked.

"Check!" Paul held up his guitar, which was in a dark purple case with various band logo stickers on it.

"Got mine." Craig held up his bass guitar, which was in a black case.

"Got the drums, mates!" John carefully loaded his drums into the U-Haul.

"My keyboard and guitar are in the U-Haul already." Lila reported.

"And I got my guitar." Lance nodded at his guitar in a white case. "Okay, let's finish loading up the stuff and…" He heard mad giggling. John and Paul turned around and saw a crazily-giggling John approach the U-Haul with a can of gasoline. "NO WAY!" The other members of the Brotherhood rushed to stop the mad pyromaniac.

"Gimme that!" Craig snapped, swiping the can from John, whom Fred and Lance managed to hold down.

"Awwwwwww!" Pyro moaned. "You guys never let me have any fun at all!"

"Your definition of fun is the Scorched Earth Policy!" Lance snapped. Everyone looked at him weirdly. "What? I was bored and watching this thing on the History Channel about General Sherman. It wasn't half bad."

"…We…_really_ need to get you a hobby." Lila sighed, shaking her head.

"What?" Lance blinked. "I thought _this_ was my hobby." Lance pointed at his guitar case. A couple of the mutants snickered.

"Okay, does anybody have any idea where we have to go?" Craig wondered.

"Hollywood, yo!" Todd grinned at the ex-gang member. He shot the young amphibious mutant a deadpan look.

"_Where_ in Hollywood, genius?" Craig growled. "I really hate this! It was just supposed to be the Superstars, Lance!"

"What was _I_ supposed to do?" Lance held out his arms in an 'I-had-no-choice' manner. "It _always_ ends up like this."

"Relax, bro." Paul grinned, placing a hand on Craig's shoulder. "Besides, it's not like we can't go down to the record company anyways."

"Yeah." Lila agreed. "We can take care of that while the others can go out and sightsee and have some fun."

"Come here…" Lance sighed, gently pulling Lila to the side. "Look, Lila…" He whispered to the interstellar teleporter. "You _know_ how crazy things get when we bring the rest of the Brotherhood."

"Will you relax?" Lila chuckled. "Look, we'll still be able to go down to Hollywood and get a look at the contract offer."

"Yeah, but we can't leave the others on their own." Lance countered. "If we do, Toad will steal stuff, Blob will eat several restaurants out of business, Pietro will undoubtedly tick _somebody_ off, most likely somebody important, which will get the rest of us in trouble, Wanda will lose her temper, and God knows what else!" Lila shook her head with a sigh.

"It's Hollywood, Lance. Trust me. I've been there. Freaky stuff like that happens all the time over there." Lila shrugged. "You know what kind of characters they have in Hollywood?"

"Yeah, but still…"

"Just relax." Lila reassured, patting Lance's shoulder. "It'll be fine. The other guys will be too busy sightseeing and trying to meet celebrities to cause trouble." A grinning Lila walked towards the jeep. Lance looked at her and sighed.

_I wish I could relax, but I'm too sane to be able to do so._ He mentally admitted.

"Let's go! Let's go already!" John hopped up and down impatiently. "I wanna go to Hollywood and set Kathy Bates on FIRE! She wants to take over the world with her toejam."

"Yech." Wanda scrunched her face in disgust.

"Pyro, don't be an idiot…" Lance sighed, but then stopped. "Wait a minute, asking you to not be an idiot is like asking the sun not to rise."

"I don't get it." John blinked.

"Forget it, John. You'd never get it, anyway." Pietro sighed.

"Oh…wait a minute…" John glared at Pietro. "You're making fun of me!" He then punched Pietro.

"And he says _I'm_ slow." Fred rolled his eyes and shook his head shamefully.

**Bayville High Parking Lot**

"Aw snap!" One nerd signaled another nerd, who was pouring sugar into the gas tank of a car. "Let's move! He's coming!" They ran away as a whistling Duncan walked toward his car. He didn't notice the fleeing nerds as he entered his car.

"Ah, lunch." Duncan grinned to himself. "Now to go to Burger Bomb and get me some eats." The hapless jock turned the key in the ignition, and a clunking sound was heard. "What?" Smoke started to escape from the hood. "Oh my God!" The engine exploded, sending the hood of the car flying. "MY CAR! OH MY GOD!" The steering wheel popped right off the dashboard and flew into Duncan's face. "AW!"

**Bayville High**

The science room was empty. The students had left because their class had ended. And the teacher had left to use the bathroom. A dazed Principal Kelly, still zonked out from his new stress medication, wandered into the room, humming happily. He eyed two beakers, which were sitting amongst many other beakers full of liquids on a shelf. They were the students' experiments.

"Huh…" He noticed one beaker contained a red liquid, and the second had a blue. They were labeled as a warning that the contents of the beakers should not be mixed, but someone placed them on the shelf in a way that caused the labels to face towards the wall the shelf was on. Kelly took the two beakers. "Oooooooh…" He held them up. "What's in these?" He poured the red liquid into the blue.

_**KABOOM!**_

Well, well, well! Looks like our heroes are heading out! What insanity will happen next? What madness will our heroes encounter in Hollywood? Will they get their contract signed? Will Kelly and Duncan ever get a break? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	82. Hittin' Hollywood, Part 3

**The Starr Chronicles**

**Disclaimer: "Holy Guacamole!" – Homer Simpson, the Simpsons**

Chapter 82: Hittin' Hollywood, Part 3

**Hollywood, California**

"_Hollywood_…_La la la la la, Hollywood…_" The Brotherhood sang as their jeep drove right into Hollywood, the city of stars, fortune, and movies.

"Wow!" Lance grinned as the jeep drove past a mansion. "Imagine us getting one of those."

"I used to live in one." Paul nodded. "It was bigger than this one, though."

"If you lived in a mansion, then why'd you end up coming to live with us, mate?" John wondered out loud. Paul looked over at Craig, who only responded with an emotionless expression.

"It's a long story." Paul answered, then wiggled a bit to try and get some breathing room. The kids were pretty cramped up in the jeep, considering there were nine of them…and one of them was very big.

"I can't breathe…" John wheezed.

"Geez, Fred! You need to lose weight!" Pietro snapped.

"Not my fault I'm so big!" Fred grumbled.

"Maybe if you stopped eating, it would help out a little." Pietro suggested.

"My size is part of my mutation, you jerk!" Fred snapped.

"You can still lose a couple pounds, can't you?" Pietro snapped back.

"Keep it up, and I'll feed your feet to your…" Fred started to threaten.

"Oh, relax boys." Lila sighed. "I used Pietro's credit card to get us a hotel room. A comfy one."

_Oh God, not again…_ Pietro mentally moaned.

"Somebody's hand is on my butt." Wanda growled. "I would kill Toad, but he's up in front." Craig found himself blushing.

"Aw geez, stupid lack of room…" Craig grumbled to himself, trying to move his hand. Wanda blushed.

"Uh, never mind." She found himself mumbling. _Why'd I say that?_

"You really need a bigger jeep, yo." Todd grunted as he tried to get himself more breathing room. "Hey! Pietro! Your foot is in my ear!" Lance sighed.

"Ooh! We should get a Winnebago!" Fred suggested.

"A Winnebago?" Wanda repeated.

"What?" Fred shrugged innocently. "Just like in Spaceballs! You know, it can fly through space, and has those wings and the hyperdrive engines, not to mention the sweet stuff inside…"

"Uh, Fred?" Paul piped up. "A Winnebago isn't actually like that."

"Huh?" Fred blinked.

"Yeah, yo." Todd nodded. "It's just for the movie, yo."

"It is?"

"Yup." Todd nodded. "Real Winnebagos don't have wings. Nor do they have hyperdrive engines."

"Awwww…" Fred crossed his arms. "That's not fair."

"Watch it, Lardo!" Pietro snapped. "You nearly hit me in the eye with your elbow!"

"Sorry, Pietro." Fred sighed. "It's just there's not a lot of room to move in this thing."

"I have to go to the bathroom." John piped up.

"I'm going crazy in here!" Craig grumbled loudly. "I'm getting claustrophobia in this stupid jeep!"

"He's not the only one." Wanda muttered. "I can't breathe in here."

"You know, once we hit it big, we'll get ourselves a huge tour bus." Paul smiled. "Plenty of room to move in one of those."

"I'm all for that. They got built-in bathrooms." John concurred.

"And you can see out the window." Wanda added. Craig looked at her strangely.

"What?" The dark-haired hexcaster blinked. "I like looking out the window on car rides."

"Where is the hotel, Lila?" Lance wondered with a sigh. Lila, who was in the passenger seat, unfolded a map and started looking on it.

"Let's see…" The interstellar teleporter mumbled to herself as she looked at the map.

"Whadda madda, Cheney?" Pietro teased. "Can't read Earth maps? OW MY NOSE!" Pietro grabbed his nose, which had just been hit by Fred's elbow.

"Oops. Sorry about that." He apologized to the silver-haired speedster dryly with a smirk. Pietro narrowed his eyes.

"You did that on purpose!" He whined.

"Oh shut up, and just be grateful he didn't break it!" Wanda snapped. "If I could move my hands, I'd break it _for_ him!"

"Pretty nice of you, Sheila." John snickered. He looked out at the window. "Hey, check it out, mates! This woman is walking a tiger like a bloody dog! Awesome!"

"I've seen that before. In a movie." Paul grinned.

"But mate, it's a _tiger!_" John grinned. "It's probably an attack tiger. A watch tiger."

"I want a watch tiger." Wanda said to Craig. She then blushed, and quickly turned her head away. "I have no idea why I told you that."

"Neither do I." Craig sighed, his own cheeks slightly reddening. The fact that he was very close to the hexcaster was really making him very uncomfortable.

_Awww_…_you two look so adorable together._ Paul teased sweetly through the telepathic link the two Starr Brothers possessed.

_Aw, shut up!_ Craig snapped. _Will you knock it off with that?_

_Why?_ Paul snickered. _You are obviously so crazy about her._

_Go away!_ Craig mentally snapped, cutting off the link. He crossed his arms and muttered unintelligibly under his breath. _Smarmy little no-good son of a razzum frazzum grrrr…_

"Where is that place?" Lila grumbled to herself as she turned the map. "Let's see…the Walk of Fame, the…ah-ha! Eureka! Here it is! And we are…here! Turn right here." Lila pointed out. Lance did so. "There it is." The gang pulled up in front of a nice-looking hotel, a large white building with gold trim and its name in gold letters: Trump Hotel.

"Wow!" Paul whistled. "It's nice."

"I can't wait to set the carpets there on fire!" John whooped.

"Trump?" A surprised Lance blinked.

"I thought the man owned New York." Pietro scratched his head.

"Meh." Lance shrugged. "I guess his evil empire is growing."

"If he heard you say that, he'd fire you." John warned.

"But I don't work for him." Lance blinked.

"We all work for Donald Trump. You just don't realize it." John explained.

"John, did you take your meds?" Lila snickered. The Brotherhood emerged from the

**Bayville**

"Oh, man…" Duncan grinned to himself. "Oh man, oh man, oh man! We did it! We did it! I can't believe we did it!" He was driving a pick-up truck, with a horse trailer hooked behind. His teammates Tommy and James were with him. "Man, I can't believe we managed to make off with North Heatherton's mascot."

"Yeah." Tommy grinned. "Only those guys would have a donkey as a mascot."

"Yeah, well…" James shrugged. "They say their team is like a donkey: very stubborn."

"I thought those were mules." Duncan blinked.

"Mules and donkeys are related." Tommy grinned. The truck pulled up at a stable.

"Alright! Let's go!" Duncan whooped. "Come give me a hand with getting this donkey in the stable!" James and Tommy went out of the truck to help. Duncan opened up the trailer, revealing a well-cared-for grey donkey. "It's okay, girl…It's okay…"

"Careful, Duncan. I heard that donkey is mighty ornery." Tommy warned.

"Ah, it's fine!" Duncan smirked. "You just have to know how to deal with animals."

"Hee-haw!" The donkey crowed. The animal quickly turned around and nailed Duncan with a hard kick.

"AUUUUUUGH!" Duncan screamed in pain. He fell out of the back of the truck, clutching himself, whimpering in pain. "Ooh…whuh…augh…"

"Ow." James and Tommy winced.

**Principal Kelly's office**

"Heh heh…" The hapless principal snickered to himself. He was holding a blender. On his desk was a basket of fruit…and a bottle of vodka. "Ahhhh…nothing like alcoholic fruit smoothies to deal with the insanity and twisted evil that is the Bayville High School student body." He smiled to himself. "God, I love gettin' tanked." He smiled as he moved to plug in the blender. He put the plug in the socket…

_**BZZZZZZZZZ!**_

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHAHUHAHUHAHUHAHUHAUH!" The hapless principal screamed as he got electrocuted.

Well, well, well! Looks like the Brotherhood have arrived! What insanity will happen next? What adventures will our heroes get into? What new people will they meet? Will Kelly and Duncan ever get a break? What're the X-Men up to? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	83. Hittin' Hollywood, Part 4

**The Starr Chronicles**

**Disclaimer: "NOOOOOO! Why God why?" – Eric Cartman, South Park**

Chapter 83: Hittin' Hollywood, Part 4

**Beverly Hills, California**

"_I wanna run to you…Yeah! I wanna run to you…_" A charming feral voice sang. The source was a sleek-bodied teenage boy, around sixteen, riding a blue skateboard. His shoulder-length hair, which looked suspiciously like a lion's mane, was brown with black at the tips. His facial features were handsome, although some would say he had a distinct feline look to him. His eyes were brown like chocolate, and his right one was decorated by a blue mark around it that looked like an 8-pointed star with the cardinal-pointing arms of the star being longer than the others. Over his eyes were a pair of black Ray-Bans. He was singing along to the music coming from a CD player. He was riding a skateboard. Even for LA, he was dressed rather unusually, rather retro: A pair of white boots, acid-washed blue jeans that were ripped at the knees, a black studded belt, a Van Halen t-shirt with a silver-and-black zebra-print bandanna around his neck. His hands, with claw-like fingernails (That were painted bright blue), were decorated with black fingerless biker gloves, and his wrists were covered by studded wristbands. Over his clothes, he wore a bright blue trenchcoat with zebra-print sleeves that were decorated with fringe, and fur on the lapels and neck. Patches of zebra-print were on the shoulders. He happily skated down the street.

"Hey, watch it, kid!" A pedestrian snapped as the kid crossed the street.

"Lousy kid!" Another snapped.

"Hey! Like, I got a totally great photo shoot coming up! You nearly messed up my hair!" A model snapped.

"Sorry!" The feral-looking whooped, flashing a grin. The grin revealed he had fangs. He skated towards a fancy restaurant. The young mutant hopped off his board, and kicked it into his hand. Holding it under his arm, the young feral leapt over the restaurant's railing and jumped to an empty table. A waiter came up to him.

"Your menu, sir." The waiter gave the feral mutant a menu.

"Thanks." The kid grinned. He then opened it up. "Hmm…ooh…I _love_ fish…hmmm…too bad they don't have those Fish Filets like in McDonalds here. Too bad. I love those."

"Well, I am not surprised." A feminine voice chuckled. The feral boy pulled down his glasses and looked up at his menu. He noticed a tall, curvy dark-skinned girl, around eighteen, looking at him, smirking. She was dressed in stylish Armani, and her long dark hair went down to her waist. She looked at the feral through tinted sunglasses. "Ace Starr. I am not surprised to see you here." Ace smirked up at the young woman.

"This _is_ my hometown, Monet." The lion-like, and always-cool Ace Starr, smirked. "You'd see me in a lot of places here. All that matters is the time." She took a seat across from the mutant who called himself "The Rock 'n' Roll Feral", and "The King of the California Jungle". "What can I do for you, babe?"

"I was hoping you'd reconsider my offer." Monet told the feral simply. Ace chuckled.

"Babe, you never give up, don't you?" The feral chuckled, putting his menu down.

"I always get what I want in the end, Ace Starr. You know that." Monet smirked, stroking Ace's hand.

"I'm not a possession, M." Ace reminded. "You can't own me. Nobody owns the Wildstar, baby." Monet laughed.

"I cannot help it, Ace." Monet purred. "You have…an effect on me."

"A lot of girls I meet say that about me." Ace chuckled. "And you know what my answer is to your little offer. Besides…I don't think your…_friends_…would approve of me."

"I thought you didn't care what other people thought of you." Monet cocked her head to the side.

"_I_ don't." Ace smirked. "But _you_ do."

"You do have a point." Monet nodded. "What's to eat?"

"And I thought supermodels had to watch what they eat." Ace snickered.

"Hey!"

**Hollywood, California**

"Wow…" The Brotherhood gasped in awe as they walked into the fancy hotel's lobby. The lobby had red-carpeted floors, and walls painted white with golden trim.

"He's gonna kill me…" Pietro moaned to himself.

"Now _this…_is a hotel I'd like to own one day." Todd grinned.

"Yeah, and after you get your hotel, you can have a couple of airhead trampy daughters." John grinned.

"Does he look like a Hilton to you, John?" Lance sighed as Lila went up to the front desk desk to get their keys. The crazy Aussie looked at Todd. His face scrunched up in thought.

"And you say _I'm_ slow, Pietro." Blob smirked at the silver-haired speedster.

"Oh, shut up." Pietro grumbled. Wanda swatted him upside the head. "Hey! Shouldn't you be going out getting revenge on Father?"

"I'll go do it when I'm bored." Wanda crossed her arms. "And I'm not bored yet." _You **can't** be bored living with these morons!_

"Hmmm…" John looked at Todd.

"What?" A confused Todd blinked. "You got me confused for one of the weird things you got runnin' around in your head again?" John blinked.

"No, you don't look like a Hilton." The crazy Aussie shook his head. Todd rolled his eyes.

"You ain't right, you know that?"

"Thanks!" John grinned, messing up Todd's hair.

"Don't touch me, yo! Your insanity might be contagious!" Todd grunted. John pouted.

"That's what the guy said the last time I went to a petting zoo! It's not fair!" The reddish-blond Aussie pouted.

"I don't blame him." Wanda smirked.

"Yeah. I had every right to pet little animals." John nodded.

"No, I meant the petting zoo guy." Wanda corrected. John pouted.

"You're so mean to me."

"It's what I do." Wanda shrugged.

"I got the keys." Lila walked up to the group. "Okay, I could only afford five rooms, so we each have to share."

"I guess it's you and me, then." Wanda looked at Lila.

"I thought you don't like rooming with people." Pietro blinked.

"I never complained about Lila." Wanda countered. "She doesn't annoy me."

"I'm roomin' with Fred, yo." Todd pointed at Fred. The large blond mutant nodded.

"That's cool."

"Me and Craig got a room!" Paul grinned.

"Who's surprised?" Craig rolled his eyes.

"Aw, no…" Lance sighed, looking at Pietro and John. "I'm stuck with one of these idiots."

"Lance, you should be honored to share a room with me." Pietro smiled smugly. Lance shot him a flat look.

"Hey Pyro, you mind a room-mate?" The geokinetic looked at the pyrokinetic. John grinned widely.

"Sure!" John grabbed Lance in a big hug. "We'll be like college students!"

"Get off me, there are people here!" Lance snapped, shoving John off him.

"Oh well, at least I don't have to worry about other people messing with my stuff." Pietro shrugged.

"You're not moving in, dipstick." Wanda grumbled. Lila handed out the keys.

"Follow me, gang!" Lila grinned. She led the Brotherhood to an elevator.

"What floor are these rooms on?" Lance asked Lila as the members of the Brotherhood piled into an elevator. The elevator took the young mutants up to a very high floor. They walked out to a fancy-looking hallway. The Brotherhood split up and unlocked their doors.

"Lila…you got us suites!" Lance realized as he peeked into one room.

_Oh no…_ Pietro mentally moaned.

"Oh, wow, mate!" John grinned happily. "Lookit all the flammables!" Lance grabbed John by the front of his black t-shirt with the orange flame highlights.

"Now listen here, Allerdyce." Lance snarled. "I see one little flicker, one little spark, and I will turn you inside out and hang you out to dry. You got me?"

"Yes, sir." John whimpered.

**Downtown Bayville**

"_Hmmm hmmm hmmm…_" Duncan Matthews hummed happily as he drove down the street. "Ah, what a great day for a drive."

"You jerk! It's over!" A woman screamed from a house. An upstairs window shattered as a TV flew through it. The TV landed on the hood of Duncan's car, making the jock scream and swerve his car. He crashed into the back of a beer truck, sending booze flying everywhere. A nearby patrol car noticed. He grabbed his radio.

"Dispatch, we got a crash at 5th and Main! We need pretzels! I repeat, pretzels!"

**Bayville High**

"Ugh…" Principal Kelly moaned as he laid on a bed in the nurse's office. He had an icepack on his eye. "God, I hate breaking up fights between football players…" He heard a scuffle from outside. "What the-?" He got up and went to the window. He opened it up with a grumble. "Hey you, knock it off you what the-?" A brick hit him in the face. "AGH! MY NOSE!"

Well, well, well! Looks like our heroes have lucked out again! What insanity will happen next? What was the offer all about? What madness will the gang up to in the hotel? Will the Superstars get a contract? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	84. Hittin' Hollywood, Part 5

**The Starr Chronicles**

**Disclaimer: "Why don't you just shoot 'em now?" – Seth Green as Scott Evil, Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery**

**Author's Note: This chapter is for Red Witch, who featured my characters in a chapter of "Interdimensional Dementia"! Thanks, Red!**

Chapter 84: Hittin' Hollywood, Part 5

**Beverly Hills, California**

"_Let it ride! Let it roll! Let it go!_" Ace Starr sang happily as he skateboarded down the street. The young feral was doing what he did best: skating around town, looking for some adventure and fun. He skated into a dark alley, where thanks to being absorbed into his music, he didn't notice a figure standing there. The figure watched Ace skate by. He then stepped in front of Ace's path, making the feral's chocolate brown eyes widen. "Whoa!" He skidded to a stop. "Hey, man!" Ace pulled down his headphones. "You should be more careful! I could've knocked you flat."

"With your senses, kid? I doubt my action could've caught you by surprise." The figure chuckled. He stepped into the light, revealing a gray-haired man with the hair cut short, white at the temples. He was dressed in black from head to toe, and had a black patch over his left eye. Ace blinked at the man.

"Yo, man. Do I know you?" Ace blinked.

"Not really." The man answered. "I know you though, kid. You're a lot like your legendary uncle. Only thing is, you dress more recent than him."

"It's my style." Ace shrugged. "What do you want?"

"Well, kid…" The man answered. "You seem to have that girl under your spell. M, I believe she is called."

"It's a gift." Ace smirked, crossing his arms. "It's a talent all the men in my family have, including my…wait…" Ace narrowed his eyes. "How do you know my uncle? My uncle is a fashion photographer." The man nodded.

"If you say so, kid." The man shrugged. "Anyway, you have that St. Croix girl under your spell."

"So? She's crazy about me. I'm half lion, and I am a rock musician." Ace shrugged. "What's it to you, dude? What do you want?"

"She made you an offer, right?" The man asked.

"She wants me to come to some Academy all the way across the country." The feral remembered.

"Listen up, kid…" The man smirked. "How'd you like to start yourself a little family tradition…?"

**The hotel in Hollywood**

A couple members of the Brotherhood were lounging about in the hotel's waiting area.

"This is the life…" John smiled happily as he laid back on a white couch, hands behind his head, head on an arm of the couch. "You know something, you guys? I could _live_ here." He pulled his lighter out of his pocket and opened it. "Hee hee hee hee hee…" He giggled madly as he was about to activate it. However, just before he could unleash its tiny flame, Toad shot out his tongue from the armchair he was sitting in. The tongue hit John's lighter. "Oi!" He exclaimed. Todd reeled his tongue back and the lighter ended up in the amphibious mutant's hand.

"Sorry, Johnny." Todd smirked. "No fires for you today." John whined.

"Not fair, awwww!" The Australian fire-controller whined. "You people are so mean to me!"

"Hey, it's not our fault you like setting fires, yo." Todd sighed.

"Well, what am I supposed to do?" John whined. "I like fire. The sound of it crackling as it burns wood, the warm loving glow it puts out against the night sky, the smell of it cooking bacon…Aw god, bacon…" John started to drool. "Bacon and fire…"

"Hi-O." Todd mumbled to himself as he shook his head at the crazy Aussie. "Allerdyce, you are a nut, you know that yo?"

"Bahhhhh-buzza…" John drooled distantly. Fred walked up to the two mutants, eating a whole ham.

"Uh, Fred…I don't think they allow you to eat here…" Todd looked up and noticed that Fred wasn't listening. "Oh, yeah. I forgot. When Fred's eating, he tends to forget about the rest of the world at times." Fred noticed a drooling John.

"Is he alright?" Fred pointed at the drooling Australian.

"Fred, he's Pyro." Todd reminded. "What do you think?" The large mutant looked at John.

"Oh yeah. Good point." Fred nodded.

**The Gift Shop**

"Hmmm…" Wanda looked around at the various trinkets and things that were being sold. "Not much of the kinds of things I like." She noticed something hanging on a rack. "Meh. Might as well pick up a t-shirt."

"Too bad we aren't back in LA." A voice piped up. Wanda turned and noticed Craig looking at a snowglobe. The black-clad mutant looked up at Wanda. "What?"

"I thought you hated LA." Wanda crossed her arms.

"Yeah, I do." Craig nodded. "But sometimes, I can't help about the city sometimes. Especially at night. As a kid, when I was with my old gang, I would walk patrols around our turf."

"Did you ever get to…see the sights?" Wanda blinked. Craig blinked back in disbelief.

"Not really." He answered. "I was more worried about not getting shot."

"I see." Wanda nodded understandably. "I guess you would be more worried about that."

"Yeah." Craig agreed, examining the snowglobe. "Although, on some nights…I found myself sitting on a rooftop, staring at the stars. It happened a lot more after my powers started to emerge. It was strange."

"Strange how?" Wanda wondered.

"Well…" Craig started. "It started when I was about 13. As you know, my brother and I can talk to each other telepathically."

"You started speaking?" Wanda wondered.

"No." Craig sighed. "Paul and I can share thoughts. As well as memories. I started seeing memories that weren't my own." He looked at Wanda. "I saw memories of living in a mansion. Those were Paul's memories. I grew up in a slum."

"Did you tell your parents?" Wanda raised an eyebrow. Craig scoffed.

"No. They didn't care much for me." The raven-haired ex-gang member answered. "I never really talked to them. Soon after, I felt an odd…instinct."

"Instinct?" Wanda blinked.

"You know how salmon can go back to the stream they were born in?" Craig asked. Wanda scrunched her face up.

"I am a little. I read a lot." Wanda nodded. "I haven't gotten a lot of chances to do it in the asylum."

"…Meh." Craig shrugged. "I learned my lessons on the streets of LA. I guess that's why I think about it a lot. Anyway, I started feeling a strange pull…drawing me to something. As time went on, the urge grew stronger. And to make a long story short, my brother and I found each other, we lived in an abandoned movie studio for a while, and eventually, we ended up in Bayville."

"Why?" Wanda wondered out loud. Craig shrugged.

"I dunno." Craig shrugged. "We just wanted to find adventure, I guess. I don't know _how_ Paul conned me into going with him."

"Who knows." Wanda shrugged. "Siblings have an effect on people."

"Don't I know it?" Craig sighed. They heard a noise. "What the-?" The two young mutants turned to the window and saw a cackling Pietro run by, not using his super-speed.

"_BWA-HA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!_" The silver-haired speedster cackled as he ran by.

"Oh, I think I know what this is…" Wanda pinched the bridge of her nose in annoyance.

"Get 'im!" A voice yelled. A group of angry guests, covered in whipped cream, ran after the speedster. Wanda and Craig watched the chase, then looked at each other.

"…You wanna pummel him?" Craig offered.

"Why not?" Wanda shrugged. The two walked out of the gift shop.

**Bayville High**

"That's funny…" Principal Kelly thought out loud to himself as he looked at the students' attendance records. "To no surprise, the Brotherhood are absent a lot. Ugh. It's like those guys _wanted_ to fail." He sighed. "I shouldn't be surprised." He heard screaming. "What?" He looked up and noticed a screaming tarred and feathered Duncan run by, Chess Club members chasing after him, holding sharp and pointy objects.

"HELP ME!"

"You have got to be kidding." Kelly shook his head. A brick flew through his window with a crash, hitting him in the back of the head. "OOF!" An unconscious Kelly hit the ground.

Well, well, well! Looks like our heroes are having some fun! What insanity will happen next? Where are the other guys? What're the X-Men up to? Will the Superstars get their contract? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	85. Hittin' Hollywood, Part 6

**The Starr Chronicles**

**Author's Note: Hey there, fans! L1701E here! I have some sad news. I'm going to be taking a break from the Kelly and Duncan torture for a while. It's just so I don't run out of ideas. It's tiring to do so. But don't worry! It won't be gone for good!**

**Disclaimer: "Oh my God!" – Joey Styles**

Chapter 85: Hittin' Hollywood, Part 6!

**Downtown Hollywood**

Lance Alvers and Lila Cheney, the geokinetic codenamed Avalanche and the interstellar teleporter codenamed Starway, were driving down a road in downtown Hollywood in Lance's jeep. Lance was driving, and Lila was reclining in the passenger seat, hands behind her head. Her blue eyes were covered by a pair of gold-rimmed sunglasses. The geokinetic sighed.

"Lila?" He asked. Lila wasn't listening. She was humming Eddie Money's "Two Tickets to Paradise". "Lila?" Lance rolled his eyes. Lila was one of the saner ones, but she had her quirks. "_Lila!_"

"Huh?" Lila was taken out of her reverie. She turned her head and pulled her glasses down, revealing her blue eyes. "Oh. What's up, Lance?"

"Well, Lila…" Lance sighed. "I'm worried."

"Worried?" Lila blinked. "What're you worried about, Lance? We're about to become a signed band. And after that, all we have to do is put out a great song, and then we're set for life!" She giggled. "Ah, to swim in money…that's so great."

"I'm worried about the guys." Lance interjected. "I really am. I dunno if it was a good idea to just leave them on their own. Toad will steal things, Pietro will annoy somebody, Fred will eat, Paul and Craig I don't know, John will roast something, and Wanda will lose her temper…Ugh." Lance sighed. "Am I missing anyone?" The interstellar teleporter scrunched her face up in thought.

"No…" Lila answered. "You got everyone."

"Why do I get the feeling that a disaster is going to happen?" Lance moaned. Lila chuckled.

"Lance, I think you worry too much." Lila reassured. "I think you need to relax. Otherwise, you'll be the only gray-haired twenty-year-old on earth."

**A mini-golf course**

"_Hmmm hm hm hmmm hmm…_" St. John Allerdyce, the insane Australian reddish-blond pyrokinetic called Pyro, hummed happily as he hit a ball with a golf club. The insane pyrokinetic was in a mini-golf course, having a lot of fun. The ball went into a hole at the bottom of a statue of a clown. "Yeah!" John whooped happily. "Hopefully I got a hole in one!"

_John…_ A voice piped up in John's head. The Australian blinked.

"Hello?" He asked no one in particular.

_John…_ John looked around.

"Hello?"

_John…look at me…_ The voice ordered. John turned his head in the direction of the voice. It appeared to be coming from the clown. The Australian blinked.

"Hello?" John blinked. "Mr. Clown?"

_Yes…_ The clown mentally responded. _It is me, John. I need you…_

"You…you need…" A confused John looked around, and then pointed at himself. "You need me?"

_Yes…_ The clown answered. _I need you…_

"Uh, no offense, but…heh heh…" John laughed nervously. "I…don't swing that way. Not that there's anything wrong with that or anything…"

_No, John._ The clown sighed. _Not that. I need you to do something._

"Uh…" John blinked, scratching his head. "Okay, what?"

_Set fire to the President._ The clown told him. _You do this for me, and when my fellow Space Clowns from Mars take over, you will be our Minister of Cheese!_

"Hmm…" Pyro scratched his chin. "That is tempting, and I do like cheese…but…" John shook his head. "Sorry, pal. I can't. I've already had enough troubles with working for Magneto. He's crazy. He plays with dollies."

_I…see…_ The clown sighed. _Think about it, John. The power you will have._

"No, I can't." John shook his head. "I'm too busy just about becoming a rockstar to help. Sorry!"

_If you don't, I will beat up your family!_ The clown threatened. John blinked in surprise.

"Huh?" John blinked. "How you gonna do that? You can't even move."

_I…I will sabotage your rock career!_

"Again, you can't move. All you can do is talk to me." John shook his head.

_I will steal alllll your lighters!_ The clown snarled. John growled.

"Steal this!" The Australian snapped, flicking open his lighter. Calling upon his powers, John created a fireball that set the clown alight.

_AAAAAAARGH!_ The fiery clown screamed in pain. _Help me! Save me! It burns! AAAAAARGH!_ John cackled.

"How you like that, mate? BWA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" John cackled. Suddenly, something came to him. He stopped laughing. "Uh oh…" The Australian looked around. "I'd better get out of here." He crept slowly away from the clown, and then ran off.

**A mall in Hollywood**

Todd Tolensky, the amphibious mutant codenamed Toad, looked around inside an electronics store.

"Hmmmm…" The young mutant looked at a row of digital cameras. "Wow, yo…I like these cameras." An attendant walked up to Todd.

"Can I help you, sir?" The attendant asked.

"Uh, no thanks, yo." Todd shook his head. "I'm just looking right now. I am thinking of buying a DVD player, though. One of those portable ones with the built-in screen." The attendant nodded.

"They all do, sir." The attendant told Todd. "They're right over there." He pointed at another rack. "If you need any help, just let me know."

"Oh, okay." Todd grinned. "Thank you." He went over to the rack of portable DVD players. The amphibious young mutant looked at the DVD players. "Hmmm…do I have one of these?" He heard a scuffle, and a familiar voice yelling.

"Hey! Let it go!" A voice exclaimed.

"No! You let it go! I want this shirt!" A voice that Todd recognized snapped. The amphibious young mutant sighed.

"Oh, no…" He moaned. He took a quick look around, stuffed a player in his jacket, and then hopped out of the store. He noticed Pietro standing outside a clothing store, playing tug-of-war with another customer.

"Let go, you idiot!" The customer snapped.

"Gimme the shirt!" Pietro wailed.

"I bought this one!" The customer exclaimed.

"But I like this shirt!" Pietro wailed.

"Oh, fer the love of…" Todd grumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance. He hopped towards the arguing speedster. "Pietro…"

"He got a shirt I like!" Pietro wailed.

"There's another one in there, you twit!" The irate customer snapped. Todd sighed.

"Hang on, yo." Todd sighed. He hoped inside, and bought another shirt, exactly like the one Pietro wanted. He hopped out and glared at Pietro.

"Well, I liked the shirt MMM!" Pietro started to whine, but Todd grabbed the shirt he bought and shoved it in Pietro's mouth.

"There! Now you have a shirt, too!" Todd snapped. The customer yanked his shirt out of the shocked Pietro's hands.

"Thanks." The customer nodded at Todd. He glared at Pietro. "I hope this thing wasn't stretched!" He left in a huff.

"Hey! A voice yelled from inside. "Somebody stole a shirt!"

"Mmf?" A confused Pietro blinked.

"Uh oh!" Todd blinked. "I'm outta here!" He hopped away. Pietro then looked around and took the shirt out of his mouth."

"Yech!" The silver-haired speedster made a face. "That was terrible! Toad, you…" He heard a tapping. Pietro turned and saw a couple mall security guards staring at him through mirrored shades. One was tapping a baton in his palm. "Uh…ah heh heh heh…eh heh…" The speedster laughed nervously. "Would you believe that somebody tried to stuff this shirt down my throat?"

Well, well, well! Looks like our heroes have some insane ideas of having fun. What madness will happen next? What more misadventures will our heroes get into? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	86. Hittin' Hollywood, Part 7

**The Starr Chronicles**

**Disclaimer: "Now get the fudge out of my house!" – Isaac Hayes as Chef, South Park**

Chapter 86: Hittin' Hollywood, Part 7!

**The Hollywood Walk of Fame**

Craig Starr walked along the Hollywood Walk of Fame. He was dressed in his regular black leather jacket, metal t-shirt, and blue jeans. The former gang member had his head down. It was because he didn't like to be looked at, and also that he was looking at the stars.

"Heh." Craig smirked as he noticed a name on one of the stars. "About time they respected Ozzy Osbourne. Not to mention that Black Sabbath is finally going into the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame this year." He sighed. "Good year to be a Sabbath fan." He pulled out a pack of gum from his jacket. He then proceeded to remove a stick of gum from the pack and start to chew it. He walked into an alley.

"Well, well, well." A gravelly voice chuckled. "Look who's come home." Craig narrowed his eyes. A figure learned on the wall. The figure was a muscular African-American kid, who appeared to be in his late teens, clad in a black do-rag, a tie-dye t-shirt, and black jeans. He smirked at the mutant called Darkstar. "I never thought you'd show your face in LA again." Craig narrowed his chocolate brown eyes.

"What do _you_ want, Warlord?" Craig scowled. "Warlord" was the title of the leader of Craig's old gang, the Ravers.

"Just thought I'd check up on one of my best old soldiers." Warlord smirked.

"I'm not one of your soldiers anymore, pal." Craig crossed his arms. "And you still wear that stupid t-shirt."

"You know the colors, man. The rule of the Ravers." Warlord answered.

_I never liked wearing the colors._ Craig remembered. _Made me look like a flippin' hippie._ "What's wrong, Warlord?" Craig crossed his arms and smirked. "Come to ask me back? You know why I left."

"Oh yeah…" Warlord rolled his eyes. "You just up and ranted about having a brother."

"I. Don't. Rant." Craig growled. _Better not tell him about my being one of those mutant things. Oh, who am I kidding? With this blasted mark on my face, he probably figured it out already!_

"You know, you always were a strange one, what with the funny makeup you wear." Warlord remembered. Craig was about to lose his temper when he suddenly realized that Warlord was referring to his birthmark.

_You know, there are times when I **really** hate this stupid birthmark._ Craig grumbled to himself. _It makes everyone think I wear freakin' makeup!_ "What's it to you? You never complained."

"Meh." Warlord shrugged. "What I'd like to know is, what brings you back here? You disappeared a very long time ago."

"I came with some friends." Craig answered. "Why?"

"You found yourself a new gang?" Warlord raised an eyebrow.

"Why?" Craig grunted.

"Word on the street is that some band is about to get made big." Warlord explained. "And you show up here in LA. What's up?"

"I'm not a Raver anymore, man." Craig reminded. "I don't have to answer to you anymore. And lots of bands come here to make it big. Maybe I'm just here to do some sightseeing." Warlord stood up.

"Just want you to remember your roots, man. Where you came from." Warlord reminded. As he spoke, he got right into Craig's face. The large teen had a few inches over Craig. "You haven't forgotten, right?"

"Hard to forget a guy like you, Warlord." Craig smirked. "Especially your mug and your breath." Warlock chuckled.

"You used to be quite a brawler, little man." Warlord remembered. "I remember you always tried to get yourself some of me."

"Because the Ravers needed a leader who could keep his big mouth shut about how great he is." Craig grunted.

"Who? You?" Warlord snorted. "You good, Starr. But before you left, you started claiming that you were remembering things funny. Claiming you remembered livin' in a mansion and stuff."

_I remember that._ Craig noted. _My powers were starting to manifest. My telepathic link with Paul was activating. He and I were seeing each other's memories. I was confused as anything._ "Eh, let's just say, I was going through some changes."

"Whatever, man." Warlord shrugged. "What're you doin' here? You know what happens to punks who quit the Ravers."

"Yeah, they no longer have to wear any stupid tie-dye." Craig quipped. "And I'm here to deal with some business."

"What kind of business?" Warlord narrowed his eyes.

"None of yours." Craig shoved past him and went back on his way.

"Hey!" Warlord snapped, spinning the raven-haired mutant around. "Don't you shove past me, punk! Don't forget, man! You wouldn't even be alive if it weren't for the Ravers!"

"You had better let go of my arm before I break it off!" Craig threatened with a growl. Warlord laughed.

"Yeah, right." Warlord chuckled. "You tough, but you never were as tough as me." Craig scowled and whacked the arm that was holding him with a hammer blow, hitting the inside of Warlord's elbow. The blow didn't really hurt Warlord, but it did force him to release Craig.

"Oh, you think you still a tough guy, huh?" Warlock grunted. "Let's see how tough you are!" He threw a jab, which Craig ducked.

"That's it!" The raven-haired mutant growled. _I don't need my powers to take this slap-happy jerk down!_ He tackled Warlord and knocked him out into the street, causing people to stop, stagger, and stare. Some even started encouraging them to fight. "Eat this, you loudmouthed jerk!" As Warlord staggered, Craig got to his feet, and nailed him across the jaw with a hard right cross. Warlord recovered quickly, though.

"You still punch like a girl, short man!" Warlord coughed. The big kid nailed Craig with a hard punch to the gut, making the mutant wheeze and clutch himself.

"OOF!" Craig wheezed.

"Aw, that had to hurt!" A bystander winced. Warlord grabbed Craig and bashed his head against the hood of a nearby car.

"Aw, man! This is better than WrestleMania!" Another bystander grinned.

"Grrrrr…" Craig quickly recovered and knocked Warlord in the gut with his elbow. He quickly spun around and charged the larger kid, sending him through a display window. "Heh." The raven-haired mutant smirked. He then heard sirens. The crowd dissipated as a police car pulled up. In the background, Warlord got up. "Oh, no." A cop emerged from the car. He was dressed in the standard LAPD uniform, and he had a wild look in his eyes. Not to mention he was carrying a sawed-off shotgun.

"Oh, _no…_" Both Craig and Warlord yelped. "It's "Psycho" Jones!" "Psycho" Jones was an infamous cop whom Craig and Warlord have had run-ins with in the past. He got his nickname because…well…he was nuts.

"Hello, boys." "Psycho" Jones grinned insanely. He then pointed his shotgun at them. "YOU UNDER ARREST!"

"YIKES!" The two boys screamed. They fled the scene in different directions.

"RRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" Jones screamed, sounding like a cross between a war cry and an enraged animal. He started pursuing Craig. "Come back here, you hippie!"

"Hippie? Isn't that insult a _little_ out of date?" Craig grunted as he fled down the hall, "Psycho" Jones after him. _Oh, great! I'm starting to sound like Paul, now!_

"I SHOOT YOU, YOU PUNK! YOU DIE NOW!"

**Downtown Hollywood**

"Well, here we are!" Lance pulled up in front of the Rolling Records building. Lila looked up at the large shiny building. She pulled her glasses down stylishly. The dark-haired girl couldn't help but smile.

"Oh yeah, let's go in." Lila grinned. The two young mutants walked towards the front of the building. Behind them, a police car drove by, and a certain silver-haired speedster started screaming from the back.

"YOU GUYS!" Pietro screamed. "HELP ME! THEY'RE GONNA PUT ME IN THE BIG HOUSE! I'LL BE EATEN ALIVE! I'LL DIE IN THERE! HELP ME!" Lance and Lila noticed the car pass by with dropped jaws.

"Was that-?" Lance pointed at the car, looking at Lila. The two mutants stared at each other.

"Nah!" They shook their heads and walked inside. The lobby was nicely done, with gold and platinum albums lining the walls, red carpeting, and gold trimming on the ceiling. They walked up to the wooden front desk. The secretary, who was sitting behind the desk, was filing her nails.

"Hello, we're Lance Alvers and Lila Cheney of the Superstars. We're here about a record contract." Lance told the secretary. She looked up and nodded.

"Right." She nodded. "Just go up that elevator right there and go down the hall. You can't miss."

"Thank you!" The two mutants smiled. They then walked into the elevator.

Well, well, well! Looks like the madness continues! What insanity will happen next? Will Craig be able to escape the psycho cop? Will the Superstars get a contract? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	87. Hittin' Hollywood, Part 8

**The Starr Chronicles**

**Disclaimer: "I could make waffles!" – Eddie Murphy as Donkey, Shrek**

Chapter 87: Hittin' Hollywood, Part 8!

**Downtown Hollywood**

"Outta my way! Outta my way!" Craig Starr snapped as he shoved his way through a crowd. "Hey move it! I got a psychopath after me!" He raced by an old lady. "Excuse me! Crazy after me!"

"Oh, dear…" The old lady blinked. "Should I call the cops?"

"He _is_ a cop!" Craig exclaimed. The crowd screamed, scattered, and ducked as "Psycho" Jones raced after Craig, firing his sawed-off shotgun in the air.

"COME BACK HERE, YOU COMMIE!" "Psycho" Jones screamed as he pursued Craig. "I'LL BLOW YOUR HEAD OFF, BOY! I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL KILL YOU AND THEN I'LL HANG YOUR CORPSE ON MY WALL AND USE IT AS A DARTBOARD! _BWA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!_"

"Geez!" Craig groaned. "And this guy _still_ has a job as a cop? Any police force with an ounce of sense would _never_ hire this guy!" Craig saw another person running. He caught up to the other person. "John?"

"Hi, Craig!" John panted with a grin.

"John, what're you doing?" Craig blinked.

"I'm running from an angry evil clown. You?"

"COME BACK AND GET SHOT, YOU HIPPIE PIG!" The officer named "Psycho" Jones screamed.

"Got into a brawl with an old face from my past and now getting chased by psychotic police officer who shouldn't be on the force." Craig grumbled.

"Oh." John blinked. "Having fun?"

"I KILL YOU! I KILL YOU!" "Psycho" Jones screamed. "I KILL YOU GOOD! I KILL YOU UNTIL YOU DIE!"

"Allerdyce, you are an idiot!" Craig snapped. "What do you think?"

"Oh." John nodded. "I see." He eyed a street mime performing. With a war cry, John raced towards the mime and started tackling him. "Come back here and fight, enforcer of Kathy Bates's will!"

"Oh, God…" Craig groaned. He ran by a bookstore, a screaming "Psycho" Jones still pursuing him. Inside, Paul was looking around.

"Hmmm…" Paul pulled out a video game strategy guide. He flipped to a random page. "Hello…ah…hey…so _that's_ how you unlock the secret room in the haunted mansion. It was so obvious! Why didn't I notice it before?" He looked up and noticed a pretty blonde standing at a magazine rack. The young mutant smiled and put back the strategy guide. He then walked over to her. "Um, hello?" The girl turned around.

"Oh, hi." She smiled.

"Are you looking for anything in particular?" Paul wondered.

"Oh, not really." She shook her head. "Just looking around."

"Yeah, me too." Paul smiled. "I'm here to sightsee. I used to live here in LA."

"Really?" The blonde smiled. "I'm an LA girl myself, too."

"Yeah, I live in New York now." Paul nodded.

"Is it nice?" She asked.

"Oh yeah, it is." Paul smiled. He then realized something. "Oh! How rude of me! I'm Paul. Paul Starr." Paul held out his hand.

"The name's Candy." The blonde shook the offered hand. "Nice to meet you."

"Candy. Nice name." Paul complimented. "Very sweet." Candy chuckled.

"You're quite the charmer." Candy smiled.

"Thank you." Paul smiled back. "You here to sightsee as well?"

"That and browse around." Candy answered. "A great way to kill an afternoon. You?"

"To sightsee." Paul nodded. "And I'm in a band."

"You _are?_" Carly blinked.

"Yup." Paul smiled proudly. "It's a small band. Just me and four other friends. We were all big rock fans, and we all could play instruments, so we figured we'd start a band."

"Oh, that sounds nice." Candy smiled. "What do you play?"

"I sing and I play rhythm guitar." Paul answered.

"Oh, cool!" Candy grinned. "Have you guys done any shows?"

"We played a couple shows in my native Bayville's high school." Paul nodded. "We were a big hit. A friend of ours sent a tape we made to a record company and they liked us, so we came up here to see if we can get ourselves signed."

"Oh, that's good." Candy smiled. "Looks like you kids are on the fast track to fame."

"I hope." Paul smiled. "I always wanted to be a famous rock musician."

"Hey!" A male voice snapped.

"Oh, no…" Candy moaned, turning around. Paul looked in the direction she was and saw a muscular brown-haired kid, around 19. He was dressed in a blue-and-gray letterman jacket, black jeans, and blue LAPD t-shirt.

"Who's that?" Paul blinked.

"My brother Benny." Candy sighed. Benny scowled at Paul.

"Who is he?" He demanded.

"Benny, he's just a friend." Candy tried to calm down her brother. "We were just talking."

"Oh dear…" Paul gulped as he noticed Benny's face. His face was turning bright red with anger, and he was showing more and more rage with each second.

"What's he up to?" He demanded. "IS HE TRYING SOMETHING INAPPROPRIATE?"

"Benny, stop it!" Candy snapped. "He's not! We were just talking! BENNY!" Benny grabbed a heavy book and hefted it over his head.

"COME 'ERE, YOU COMMIE PUNK! I'LL SMASH YOUR HEAD OPEN!" Benny screamed as he charged towards Paul.

"YIKES!" Paul exclaimed as he ran off, an insanely-screaming Benny racing after him. Candy pursued the two, screaming that she would kill Benny if he hurt the young mutant codenamed Starchild.

**Rollin' Records**

Lance Alvers and Lila Cheney walked into an office. The president sat behind a wooden fancy-looking table with golden trim. He himself was dressed in a white suit with gold lame highlights, a green shirt, bolo tie, and black-and-white shoes. His long blond hair was slicked back in a neat ponytail, and his eyes were covered by stylish-looking silver-framed glasses with green lenses.

"Gaudy, much?" Lila whispered jokingly to Lance. Lance nodded.

"Yeah. It's freaky." Lance whispered back with his own chuckle. The man looked up and smiled.

"Hello!" He greeted with a big shiny grin on his face. His voice contained an English accent. "The name's Ringo James, mate." He outstretched his hand.

_That **can't** be his real name._ Lance mentally shook his head. He shook the Englishman's hand. Lila then shook his hand. "We're Lance Alvers and Lila Cheney, two of the Superstars…"

"Yeah, I know who you are." Ringo nodded with a smile. "I've been expecting you." He sat down. "I heard the tape that was sent to me with you guys playing. I must say, I was blown away! I thought you guys were bloody amazing!" He got up and moved over to a stereo. He pressed the play button, and the Superstars' music started playing from the stereo's speakers. He smiled, tapped his foot, and bobbed his head slightly as the music played.

"You enjoyed it alright." Lila noticed.

"Oh, yeah! I did!" Ringo grinned. "I really liked it! The minute I heard this tape, I said to meself, 'Ringo, you have got to sign these guys'!"

"Well, we're glad you like it." Lila smiled.

"Oh yeah!" Ringo grinned. "I loved it! I see the future of rock 'n' roll in you guys. Only one thing…" He looked at the two. "Is this the whole band? Just you two?"

"Uh, no." Lance cleared his throat. "I play lead guitar and backing vocals. Lila here does keyboards, some guitar work, and vocals. We have three other guys. Paul Starr plays rhythm guitar and lead vocals. Craig Starr is our bassist. St. John Allerdyce is our percussionist and also does backing vocals."

"They're not with us right now." Lila explained. "They decided to go out and sightsee. We're dealing with their business matters."

"Not so fast!" A young voice piped up. Lance and Lila turned around and saw Jamie Madrox walk in, dressed in a dark blue suit with a black shirt and white tie. He also had on a pair of matching sunglasses. Lance and Lila blinked.

"What's the X-Squirt doin' here?" Lance whispered to himself, blinking.

"What I'd like to know is _how_ he got here." Lila whispered back.

"Hello, I'm Jamie Madrox, and I'm this band's business manager!" Jamie grinned. "Nice to meet you, Mr. James. Shall we get down to business? I want to make sure my guys and you get a record deal we can all be happy with." Ringo raised an eyebrow.

"Kid, are you for real?" Ringo blinked.

Well, well, well! Looks like our heroes still have problems with insanity! What madness will happen next? Is Jamie a real manager? Will Paul and Craig escape the psychos? What's up with Pyro and mimes? Where's Pietro? Will I stop asking these stupid questions? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	88. Hittin' Hollywood, Part 9

**The Starr Chronicles**

**Disclaimer: "Commander Data…has a way with computers." – Diana Muldaur as CMO Katherine Pulaski, Star Trek: The Next Generation**

Chapter 88: Hittin' Hollywood, Part 9

**A buffet restaurant in downtown Hollywood**

Fred Dukes whistled happily as he walked down the street. The large mutant was walking around sightseeing, and so far, he was impressed.

"Wow." He smiled. "This place is neat. We should go here more often." He noticed the entrance to the buffet restaurant. In his head at that moment, a divine light shone down on the entrance and angels singing could be heard. Fred's eyes twinkled as the doorway seemed to beckon to him. "Wow…" He started to drool. "Mmmm…all you can eat…" He started to walk towards the buffet restaurant almost like he was in a trance. He walked inside and smiled widely. "Oh…my…God…" He looked around at the buffet trays, full of all different kinds of food. "Oh, man…" He then raced towards the buffet tables. "BANZAI!"

**A local occult shop**

"Hmm…" Wanda Maximoff thought out loud as she noticed the exterior of an occult shop. "This sounds like a nice place to look around for a souvenir…" She walked inside the shop. "Hey…" She looked around at all the merchandise inside and nodded in approval. She turned to a Goth kid sitting behind the checkout counter, reading a comic book. The Goth kid looked up.

"Yeah?"

"I'm just looking around." Wanda told the kid. "I may buy something if I see something I like." The Goth kid shrugged.

"Knock yourself out." He went back to his comic book.

"Thanks." Wanda started looking around again. "Hey…" A particular book caught her eye. "What's this?" She mumbled to herself as she pulled it out. The hexcaster opened up the book. She read a passage from it out loud. "_Double, double, toil and trouble._ _Records spin and gangs cause trouble. Let the undead rise again, and cause mischief upon one at random._" Wanda blinked. "Huh. Odd-sounding spell." The hexcaster shrugged when the book suddenly put a brief flash of light, making Wanda jump with a squeak and drop the book. "What the-?"

**A nearby police station**

While Wanda was enjoying looking around in a shop that suited her tastes, her twin brother, the super-fast silver haired egomaniac Pietro "Quicksilver" Maximoff, was sulking in a local police precinct.

"Stupid razzum frazzum Toad, setting me up the razzum frazzum growl kill him and chop his body up into little pieces…" The speedster sulked and muttered darkly. He was sitting on the cell's cot, with his arms crossed. He heard a knocking on his cell bars. The speedster looked up and saw a guard tapping on the cell walls. "Yeah?"

"Could you keep it down for a little while, please kid?" The guard asked nicely. "We got some movie star recovering from a hangover in a nearby drunk tank. She needs some quiet."

"…Which one?" Pietro wondered. The guard shrugged.

"I'm not sure." The guard answered. He then heard a female voice yelling for some aspirin, water, and quiet. The request was peppered with curses, and a couple threats.

"Oh, it's that singer lady from that band." Pietro recognized the voice. "You know, you think that having a kid would calm her down. Not to mention I thought she cleaned up for a while."

"Well, considering she married a guy who shot himself in the head because he didn't want to be famous, you're surprised she's all screwed up." The guard chuckled. "Just keep it down, huh?"

"Yeah, sure." Pietro nodded. The guard walked away. Pietro sighed, but then the floor of the cell started to rumble. "Hey what…?" The floor burst open and a zombie emerged from the crack, dressed in a tattered prison uniform.

"_Uuuhnnnnnnnnnnnnnn_…" The zombie moaned.

"OH MY GOD!" Pietro screamed girlishly. "SOMEBODY HELP ME!" The zombie started to beat him up. "AGH! HEY! OW! THAT HURTS! SAVE ME! MOMMY!"

"Hey, shut up!" The celebrity snapped. "My head hurts, you inconsiderate jerk!"

**The occult store**

"No reading out the contents of spell books, ma'am." The Goth kid told Wanda flatly, not even looking up from his comic book.

"Sorry." Wanda apologized, picking up the book. _That spell was weird. I doubt it worked._

**The Rolling Record building**

A smiling Lance and Lila walked out of the Rolling Records building. With them was a smiling Jamie, straightening his tie as he held a briefcase.

"You know what, Lila?" Lance smirked at Jamie. "I actually _like_ this X-Geek."

"Yeah, he's quite something, ain't he?" Lila smiled at Jamie. She then ruffled the kid's hair.

"Hey!" Jamie playfully swatted her hand off his head. "Watch the hair, Cheney! Besides, I got you a sweet deal."

"Oh, yeah." Lance smiled. "Man, I can't believe we got it! An actual record contract! Whoo-hoo! Wait until the guys hear about this, man! This rocks! This so rocks!" Lance started playing air guitar, making guitar noises. Lila and Jamie looked at each other.

"…No more drugs for that man." Jamie told Lila, pointing at Lance with his thumb. The interstellar teleporter nodded. They heard a rumbling.

"What the-?" Lila turned her head. Her jaw dropped and her eyes widened. "LOOK OUT!" Lance stopped 'playing'.

"Jumpin' Fourth of July!" The geokinetic exclaimed. Jamie looked at Lance in disbelief.

"What?" He then quickly shook his head. "Never mind!" The three young mutants leapt away from the road as a stampede of mimes raced by.

"What in the spaceways?" Lila scratched her head.

"I gotta feeling that one of our teammates is the cause of this." Lance grunted. Cackling was heard.

"I think you may be right." Jamie confirmed. A cackling Pyro was seen chasing after the mime stampede in a monster truck…that had a tank turret on it. He also happened to be flanked by a couple of Apache helicopters…made of flames.

"…John." The three all groaned in unison.

"BWAAAAA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" John cackled madly. "COME ON AND COME GET YOU SOME, YOU FREAKS! BOW BEFORE ME!"

"…You know, I heard a rumor once that they're going to pass a law that allows euthanasia for John." Lance sighed.

**Outside the bookstore**

"WAHHH!" Paul Starr screamed as he raced out of the bookstore.

"COME BACK HERE AND **_DIE_**, YOU FILTHY HIPPIE COMMUNIST!" Benny screamed as he chased after Paul. Candy ran out after her brother.

"Benny! Come back here and leave him alone!" The blonde snapped. "He didn't do anything! We were just talking!" An attendant ran out after the three teenagers.

"Sir!" He yelled. "Put that back! You didn't pay for that book!" The attendant yelled. "Sir! I have called the police! Please return the book!"

"Benny, listen to him!" Candy exclaimed. "Leave the poor guy alone and put the book back!" Benny wasn't listening. His face was bright red, his breathing was like that of an enraged animal, several purple veins were throbbing on his neck. Drool and foam flowed from the corners of his lips like a rabid dog. His eyes were wide and bloodshot, and if they could, they'd glow a bright red.

"UH! I KILL YOU! I CRUSH COMMIE SKULL! I KILL HIPPIE TRYING TO BE INAPPROPRIATE WITH SISTER!" Benny screamed.

"Buddy, normally I don't judge people…" Paul panted. "But, buddy…you have got a _serious_ anger problem! Not stellar! Not stellar!"

"ME KILL YOU! ME KILL YOU!" Benny roared. "ME CRUSH YOU!"

"BENNY!" Candy screamed. "Leave him alone! Knock it off!"

"Sir! You have to bring that book back!" The attendant yelled. Paul ran into an alley. There, he found his brother. The two Starr Brothers found themselves running side-by-side.

"Hi, Craig!" Paul greeted.

"Paul!" Craig exclaimed. "What're you doing here?"

"Running for my life from a guy with a possible anger management problem." Paul answered. "You?"

"Running for my life from a cop with a _huge _anger management problem and several issues." Craig grumbled. Paul looked back at the crazed Benny, and his eyes widened. "Psycho" Jones had joined the chase.

"Daddy!" Candy exclaimed as she noticed "Psycho" Jones joining the chase. "What're you doing here?"

"BLASTING ME A HIPPIE!" "Psycho" Jones cackled. Craig turned around and his jaw dropped at the same time Paul's jaw did.

"Whoa! That cop's just as crazy as Benny!" Paul gaped.

"You moron! They must all be related!" Craig snapped.

"Huh." Paul blinked. "Candy didn't seem nuts like those two." He pointed at the blonde girl that was trying to stop her father and her brother. Craig groaned.

"How do we get into these messes?"

"DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!" "Psycho" Jones and Benny screamed.

"LEAVE THEM ALONE!" Candy yelled.

"Sir, you have to bring that book back!" The attendant yelled.

"RAHHHHHHHH!" "Psycho" Jones screamed. He turned toward the attendant, and started wailing on him.

Well, well, well! Looks like the gang just keep getting into more and more trouble. What insanity will happen next? Will John catch those mimes? Will Paul and Craig escape? Will Fred leave the buffet? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	89. Hittin' Hollywood, Part 10

**The Starr Chronicles**

**Disclaimer: "Lock and load! Lock and Load! Bring on the PAAAAIN!" – Joe Swanson, Family Guy**

Chapter 89: Hittin' Hollywood, Part 10

**A buffet restaurant in downtown Hollywood**

"Oh…" Fred Dukes, the powerhouse blond-mohawked young mutant codenamed Blob, moaned happily as he slowly staggered out of the buffet restaurant, rubbing his stomach, which was slightly bigger. "Oh…oh God…man, that was great…" He smiled as he walked out onto the street. A ringtone of Audrey from _Little Shop of Horrors_ saying "Feed me" was heard coming from his pocket. The large blond mutant blinked and looked around for a moment before realizing that it was a cell phone he had in his pocket. Fred pulled it out and flipped it open. _I love these things._ He smiled to himself. _So simple to operate._ "Yello?"

"Hey, Freddo!" Lila's jovial voice greeted from the other end.

"Hey Lila." Fred smiled. "What's up?"

"Well, Freddy, I have some great news!" Lila grinned. "We have got ourselves…a recording contract!"

"Son of a gun." Fred grinned. "That's great! I'm sure the others would love to hear it!"

"Cool!" Lila answered. "Come to the mall. We're celebrating in the food court!"

"Which mall?" Fred wondered. Lila told him the location. "Alright! I'll be there!" Fred walked off. Meanwhile the buffet's owner walked up to the door, crying.

"He ate everything…" The owner whimpered, putting up a "Closed" sign. "He ate it all…oh my God…it's not possible…"

**Outside the occult shop**

Wanda Maximoff, the hexcaster known as the Scarlet Witch, had walked out of the occult shop, carrying a small bag. She had decided maybe it was worth picking up a trinket or two after all. Her cell phone rang. "Hello?"

"Hey, Wanda." Lance greeted.

"Hello, Lance." Wanda blinked. "What do you want?"

"I'm feeling good!" Lance grinned.

"What?" Wanda smirked. "Something went your way for once?"

"Very funny. And in fact, something did." Lance chuckled. "The Superstars now have a recording contract!"

"Oh, that's good." Wanda nodded.

"Yeah, we're going to the food court in that mall to celebrate." Lance grinned. Wanda grimaced. Malls weren't exactly…her thing.

"I dunno…" Wanda answered. "I'm not a fan of malls."

"Ah, come on, Wanda!" Lance invited. "It'll be fun!" Wanda sighed.

"I dunno…"

"We'll make fun of Pietro…" Lance offered.

"Okay, I'll be there then. Congratulations." Wanda nodded. She left the store, when she caught the eye of a kid dressed like a gang member.

"Hey there darlin', how 'bout a date?" The gang member grinned.

"Not interested." Wanda waved him off. The gang member wouldn't take no for an answer.

"Aw, come on, babe!" The gang member grinned. "You won't go wrong if you go out with me."

"I'm not in the mood." Wanda scowled. "Back off."

"Why? You seen' someone? I bet he's a punk!" The gang member laughed. Wanda narrowed her eyes. While he was distracted, she hexed his pants, and they burst into flames. The gang member screamed and ran away. "Heh heh heh…" The dark-haired girl continued on her way.

**Elsewhere in Hollywood**

"_BWA-HA-HA!_" St. John Allerdyce, the Australian pyrokinetic codenamed…well, Pyro, was chasing a horde of mimes. He was flying a bi-plane made of flames. "Take this, you evil agents of Kathy Bates! You will never conquer the stamps!" However, passers-by didn't seem to mind.

"Hey! A tourist poked a native's shoulder. "Did you see that, man?" The native looked at the chase, and then shrugged.

"Pal, this is Hollywood." The native laughed. "Stuff like this happens all the time."

"Die, you greasepaint monkeys!" John yelled as he shot flames at the mimes. "BWA-HA-HA huh?" His cell phone rang. "Nyello?"

"Hey, John!" Lance greeted.

"Hey, mate!" John grinned. "How'd the thingy with the band go?"

"If you mean the meeting with the record exec, it was great!" Lance announced. "We got signed!"

"Alright!" John grinned. "We're gonna be rockers!"

"You got that right!" Lance agreed. "Johnny-Boy, we're celebrating at the food court down at that mall."

"I know the one." John grinned. "I'll be there." He closed his phone and glared at the mimes before flying off. "You all got lucky this time! But I shall return!"

**A park in Hollywood**

"HELP ME! OH PLEASE GOD HELP ME!" Pietro Maximoff, the silver-haired speedster codenamed Quicksilver, screamed as he zipped down the street.

"Uhnnnn…" The zombie from the jail pursued him, somehow managing to keep up. The zombie made passers-by scream and scatter.

"EEEEK!" A woman screamed.

"Help us! Save us!" A man exclaimed.

"Somebody call the cops! Or the military!" Another man called.

"The end is near! The end is near! I told you! I told you all!" A crazy guy yelled out. Hot on Pietro's trail were several police cars.

"Man, how can one kid run so blasted fast?" The cop in the passenger seat blinked at his driving partner.

"I have no idea." The driving cop answered with a shake of his head. "One of them fancy Hollywood fads, I bet."

**Elsewhere in Hollywood**

"RUN!" Paul and Craig Starr, the twin laser-blasting mutants called Starchild and Darkstar yelled in unison as they raced through an office building.

"KILL YOU! CRUSH YOUR BONES! MAKE YOU DIIIIIIIIIIIIE!" "Psycho" Jones and Benny screamed as they pursued the two. Candy was chasing after them angrily.

"Leave them alone! They didn't do anything!" Candy screamed.

"HE BREAKING THE LAW!" "Psycho" Jones howled. "I CRUSH HIM FOR BREAKING THE LAW!"

_That punk Warlord started it, anyway!_ Craig grumbled to himself. _I can't believe I'm running away from a team of father-son psychopaths!_

_It could be worse, Craig._ Paul reassured. _We could be chased by Jack the Ripper._ Craig shot his twin brother a look.

_Paul…you are an idiot._ Craig grumbled. Paul blinked.

_What? What'd I say?_ The raven-haired mutant blinked.

"Never mind." Craig shook his head. He then had an idea. "Follow me!"

"Where you going!" Paul exclaimed.

**A mall in Hollywood**

The Brotherhood sat around a table in the food court of a mall in Hollywood. Various foods were on the table.

"To the Superstars." Lance raised his drink cup. "May we have long, successful, and creatively satisfying musical careers."

"To the Superstars." Fred, Lila, Todd, and John raised their glasses and clinked them together with Lance's.

"Whatever." Wanda shrugged, sipping her soda.

"You know, I can't help but wonder." John scratched his head. "Why aren't Paul and Craig with us? They're in the band, too."

"This _is_ their hometown, John." Lila reminded. "Maybe they're just spending time catching up or something." They heard screaming. "What in the-?" The mutants turned around and saw Paul and Craig Starr run through the food court, screaming for their lives, being chased by "Psycho" Jones and Benny.

"DIE, COMMIES!" "Psycho" Jones and Benny screamed, Jones firing his shotgun and Benny swinging his book.

"Dad! Benny! Leave them alone!" Candy yelled angrily, still pursuing them.

"Was that-?" Lance blinked.

"You have got to be kidding me." Wanda blinked.

"They'll let _anyone_ in the LAPD, yo." Todd quipped.

"EEEEEEEEEK! HELP ME!" A familiar girly scream was heard.

"Oh, I had been wondering where Pietro went." Wanda blinked. A screaming Pietro ran by, the zombie after him. _What do you know? That spell **does** work! Now I wish I **did** buy that book._

"Ha! I knew it!" John whooped triumphantly. "I knew it! I knew zombies were real! Pay up, Toad!"

"Oh, you gotta be kidding me." Todd grumbled as he pulled out his wallet.

"You made a bet with Pyro over if zombies were _real?_" Wanda frowned.

"Hey, gimme a break, yo! I thought it was an easy win!" Todd groaned.

Well, well, well! Looks like our heroes had quite a time in Miami! What madness will happen next? What'll happen when the gang gets home? Will Paul, Craig, and Pietro escape their predicaments? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	90. The Cereal Box Saga, Part 1

**The Starr Chronicles**

**Disclaimer: "Well, ain't that a kick in the head?"**

Author's Note: Hey, folks! L1701E here! Sorry I haven't updated this in a long time! I had no idea where to go with it, and I needed ideas, and finally, I got some inspiration, thanks to the Simpsons.

Chapter 90: The Cereal Box Saga, Part 1

**Tokyo, Japan**

Tokyo. The capital city of the industrious country known as Japan. And the skies were greeted by a very welcome sight. The sight was what appeared to be a flying teenager, dressed in a red costume. The costume had white boots and gloves, with golden flames on the trim. The costume had a red belt with a white stripe on it and a golden round buckle. The costume had white lines on the chest like the rays of the sun, made to look like the rays came from the belt buckle. His costume also had a red helmet that covered his head. The front of the helmet appeared to look like a cat-like mask, with gold-and-white flames on the top, two horns that curved up like a cat's ears, and one-way mirrored lenses. The helmet/mask left his chin and mouth exposed. The young man appeared to be around seventeen years of age. He flew towards a building, and landed on top of it. Once there, he removed his mask, revealing his face, with dark eyes and short black hair.

"Ah. It feels good to remove this mask once in a while and let the breeze cool my head." He smiled to himself, enjoying the cool breeze.

"Shiro Yashida. Sunfire." A feminine voice greeted. The young mutant frowned and narrowed his eyes. He quickly put his mask back on and turned himself around.

"Who are you?" He demanded loudly, seeing only the empty roof. "Show yourself!" Shiro's fist erupted into solar flame.

"Oh, now that's not very nice." A beautiful blonde teenage girl sauntered from a shadow. She was dressed in a pink costume with a black diagonal stripe on it, with white gloves and boots. Shiro's eyes narrowed. "Japan's National Hero, I presume?"

"An American." Shiro deduced. "What do you wish of Sunfire, gaijin?" **(1)**

"I only want to talk, pal." The blonde girl held up her hands. "You are a mutant, aren't you?" Shiro's fist stopped flaming.

"What is it to you, gaijin?" Shiro crossed his arms.

"Well, I happen to be one, too." The girl told Shiro. The Japanese kid blinked, but his mask didn't let the blonde girl see it.

"You are a mutant as well?" Shiro frowned. "Good for you. Personally, I could care less what you are."

"I have something you should know." The girl told Shiro. "There is a place."

"A…place?" Shiro raised his eyebrow.

"A place where mutant can learn to use their abilities." The girl told Shiro. "A place where you won't have to fear being persecuted by normal humans."

"Persecuted?" Shiro frowned. "I do not think so. I have not been persecuted here. I am known as Japan's National Hero. I make sure those who align themselves with evil do not escape justice. I have been rewarded for my actions, never persecuted. Children in this country think of me as a role model, a function I take extremely seriously."

"I bet you couldn't tell them your origins, huh?" The blonde girl smirked. "Where your powers came from? If people knew, they'd label you a freak. A monster. You wouldn't want that."

"I tell the truth." Shiro scowled. "My powers come from the sun. The sun brings life to Earth. Life is in a constant state of change, all thanks to the sun." He smirked. "Besides, I like to think that Japan has evolved to a state that is able to understand that DNA does not determine what is in the soul. Good day." Shiro calmly walked towards the edge. He leapt off and took to the air. The blonde girl blinked.

"Well, that's not very nice." She smirked, crossing her arms. Her eyes briefly flashed red.

**Bayville**

"Man, I don't see what the big problem was." Lance Alvers, the geokinetic mutant codenamed Avalanche, grumbled as he drove his jeep down a road. "It's not like we kept the thing in the house!"

"Yeah!" St. John Allerdyce, the crazy Australian fire-controlling mutant codenamed Pyro, whined from the front passenger seat. "They should've let me set it on fire! It would've gotten rid of it!"

"Yeah, but the girls thought it'd be better to take it somewhere appropriate." Lance sighed. "You alright back there, Blob?"

"To be honest, you guys…" Fred Dukes, the powerhouse blond Texan mutant codenamed Blob, admitted with a frown as he pushed something. "Not really. At least you guys don't have to sit in the back with it!"

"Sorry, Blob." Lance sighed. "I didn't have a lot of choice. Everybody wanted it, and Pyro, out of the house for a while, and I couldn't let John sit in the back with it."

"I still say we should set it on fire." John pouted. "It'd be gone and out of the way!"

"It wasn't even inside in the first place, John!" Lance sighed. "I couldn't believe it when the guys wanted us to throw it out!"

"Yeah, it's a bit of a bloody hassle taking it to the dump." John sighed.

"Well, I don't want it to be set on fire." Lance told the Australian. "They'll know what to do with it down there."

"Here we are!" Blob pointed ahead of him. The jeep drove into the Bayville Dump. The three mutants emerged. Fred pulled out what the boys had brought there to throw out.

An old Christmas tree.

"Ugh! I got needles on me!" Fred grumbled as he hefted up the brown tree.

"Relax, you big baby. They can't hurt you." Lance rolled his eyes. Fred spat out some needles.

"They can if they get in my mouth! Ugh! Bleah!" Fred retched and made faces. Lance sighed and noticed the back of his jeep.

"And I gotta vacuum out the needles from my back seat." Lance sighed.

"Why, you got plans to make out with your X-Girl in the back?" Fred blinked.

"Shut up, Fred." Lance grumbled. He then noticed. "Hey wait…where's John?"

"I dunno." Fred shrugged.

"Aw, no!" Lance groaned. "He wandered off! The little fire-crazed idiot wandered off! Fred, we gotta find him!"

"Why?" Fred blinked.

"_Why?_" Lance's jaw dropped. "Think, Blob! John is insane. He likes to set fires. He can't be left alone!"

"Oh, what's he gonna do? It's not like he's gonna…" Fred trailed off as he realized what Lance was talking about. "Oh…right…we better find him."

"Yeah, before he causes some kind of disaster." Lance agreed. "You take the left, I'll take the right." The two mutants left to find their missing teammate.

**Some time later**

"Man, this dump is so big!" Fred sighed as he walked around, keeping an eye out for John. "Man, how hard can it be to find an insane Australian in a place full of garbage?" he then realized something. "Wait a minute?" He turned his head and noticed that he was still carrying around the old dead Christmas tree. "Why am I still carrying this? Bah!" he threw the tree away from him. He then noticed something on the ground. "Hello…" He picked up a box on the ground. His eyes widened. "Oh my God! LANCE! JOHN!" He ran off.

**In the other side of the dump**

While Fred freaked out over his discovery, Lance was engaged in a titanic struggle with John for the fate of the universe. Well, at least the dump.

"Let go of the lighter, John!" Lance growled. He and John were grappling like a couple Greco-Roman wrestlers. The brown-haired geokinetic was trying to get the reddish-blonde pyrokinetic to drop his lighter.

"Never!" John screamed. "I must set fire to that tire! It was laughing at me!"

"You need medication!" Lance snapped, forcing John to the ground. Lance then leapt at John's hand, and tried to pry it open.

"Hey you guys!" Fred ran up to them, carrying his box. The two boys stopped fighting and got up. Lance took the opportunity, snatching John's lighter.

"Hey!" John exclaimed.

"What is it, Fred?" Lance wondered, ignoring John. "Did you get rid of the tree?"

"Yeah!" Fred quickly answered. "Look at this!" He held out the box. Lance took the box and looked at it. He noticed the writing on it.

"Hey, look at this, John. It's in Japanese. At least, it looks Japanese." Lance chuckled.

"Wow." John blinked at the box. "It's a cereal box."

"How do you know?" Fred scratched his head.

"Cause there's a bowl of cereal on the box, mate." John explained.

"Oh, my God." Lance's jaw dropped. "Look at the character on it!" John saw the character. It was basically a cartoony head…that bore a remarkable resemblance to Fred, blond Mohawk and all! The two looked up at a whimpering Fred.

"You guys…" Fred whimpered. "How'd this happen?"

Well, well, well! Looks like we got a couple mysteries here! What madness will happen next? Who was the blonde? What did she want with Japan's National Hero? And what is up with that cereal box? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!

**(1) – "Gaijin" means "Westerner" in Japanese**


	91. The Cereal Box Saga, Part 2

**The Starr Chronicles**

**Disclaimer: "Mmm…steamed gentile…" – Homer Simpson, _The Simpsons_**

**Author's Note: Special thanks to the Uncanny R-Man for research.**

Chapter 91: The Cereal Box Saga, Part 2

**Bayville High**

The Southern-born power-absorbing X-Man known as Rogue was sitting under a tree as usual, curled up with a book. However, the book she was reading today wasn't normally considered something she usually would read, as the title "Mystery Men of the Second World War" would indicate.

"Hello, Rogue." A cheery voice greeted. The Southerner looked up and saw a smiling Paul Starr waving at her.

"Hey, Starchild." She greeted in her usual tone. "What're you up to?"

"Eh, just killing some time until my next class." The raven-haired LA native shrugged. "You love to read, huh?"

"Yeah, Ah do." Rogue answered. Paul looked at the title, and the young mutant couldn't help but chuckle. "What?"

"No offense Roguey, but I didn't think you had an interest in the superheroes of the past." Paul chuckled. Rogue blinked.

"Well…" She admitted. "Kurt and Ah went out and…had a field trip with Mr. Logan a couple days ago." **(1)**

"And it got you interested in wartime superheroes, huh?" Paul deduced. "Or as they called them back then, 'Mystery Men'."

"Well, not exactly." Rogue replied. "But it had gotten me thinking who did run around in colored tights at that time." She patted the ground next to her. "Take a seat, and get a look at this."

"Are you sure?" Paul blinked. "I don't want to intrude…"

"Nah, it's alright this time." Rogue insisted. "Take a seat. Ah want to show you this." The purple-clad mutant took a seat next to the Southerner. She moved the book over so he could take a look.

"Wow." Paul whistled. "Some of these guys look pretty corny…well, by today's standards, anyway."

"Yeah, Ah agree." Rogue snickered. "Ah mean, look at these guys…the Terror…the Fin…the Destroyer…"

"Look!" Paul pointed. "The Human Torch! Huh. The guy ages well."

"Ah don't think that's the one that's running around now." Rogue shook her head. "According to this book, the Human Torch here is some kind of android." **(2)**

"This guy reminds me of Iceman." Paul chuckled. "Jack Frost. Not really original." He then turned a page. "Oh, look at that. Blue Diamond." The mutant known as Starchild laughed. "I bet the women loved him, being able to turn into living diamond and all."

"Kitty and Jean would." Rogue agreed with a nod. She let out a laugh. "Look at these! Citizen V…Marvel Boy…Mah God, they are corny." **(3)**

"Today they would be." Paul nodded. "But I bet in the 1940s, these guys were considered the most tubular cats in town."

"And look at this guy." Rogue pointed at another entry. "Namor. The Sub-Mariner. They say he was a powerhouse back in those days. They said he could tear apart U-Boats with his bare hands."

"You know, I once heard something on TV." Paul remembered. "I heard that over in New York City, some costumed foursome took on a man who looked exactly like Namor, pointed ears, ankle wings, green Speedo and all."

"Probably his grandson, considering how long it's been." Rogue shrugged. "They said that many of these costumed guys were members of a wartime group called the All-Winners Squad, although there were smaller combinations like the Invaders and the Liberty Legion…"

"Huh. Hey Rogue, where _did_ Mr. Logan take you?" Paul blinked.

"Let's just say it involved this guy." Rogue answered, pointing at one entry, a rather comprehensive one.

"Wow." The raven-haired mutant grinned. "Captain America. They say he was the greatest hero of the war. They also say he vanished after it."

"Yeah." Rogue nodded. "Nobody knows what happened to him." The Southerner, however, was aware. She knew about Wolverine's involvement in the disappearance of the Sentinel of Liberty. "Mr. Logan knew him from the war. He was in the Canadian Special Forces at the time." Paul's jaw dropped.

"But…that's impossible." Paul gaped. "That means he's at least eighty! And he doesn't look it!"

"He's got a healing factor, Starchild." Rogue reminded. "It also slows his aging. He's older than he looks."

"Wow." Paul blinked. "That's pretty cool."

**The Brotherhood Boarding House**

"Oh, will you relax, Fred?" Lance groaned as he walked into the house. "I'm sure it's no big deal."

"No big deal? _No big deal?_" Fred exclaimed. "Look at the box, Lance!" The scared Texan exclaimed, holding up the box in question. "Lance, that's my face! That's me!"

"Hee hee, this is funny." John snickered. "I should tape this!"

"Fred, I doubt anyone in Japan knows you." Lance shook his head. "You should relax."

"Maybe somebody is watching us through this box." Fred looked around quickly in a panicky manner.

"Oh, for the love of…" Lance groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance.

"Maybe that's it! We were meant to find this box and it starting to watch us." Fred shivered. "What're we gonna do? What do they want?"

"Hey, wait a minute!" John's jaw dropped. "_I'm_ supposed to be the paranoid one!"

"Yeah, Fred. John's supposed to be the one with all the loose and/or missing screws." Lance confirmed. "Wait a minute, I can't believe I just said that."

"You did, mate." John nodded with his typical mad grin.

"What're we gonna do?" Fred whimpered. "Lance, this box is scaring me!"

"Then give it to me, you big baby!" Lance snapped, snatching the box. "Look, let's find somebody who knows Japanese. Maybe if we get this box translated, we can go from there."

"I know somebody who knows Japanese." John raised his hand. The geokinetic looked at the pyrokinetic flatly.

"John, the bonsai tree Lila stole can't talk. We told you this three times." Lance told the Australian flatly.

"Mate, it does! I'm the only one who hears it! You're never around when it _does_ talk!" John countered. "It tries to get me to do things!"

"John. You're insane. Trees can't talk." Lance told the Australian flatly. "Give it up."

"Hey, uhm…" Fred scratched his head. "What about Mr. McCoy?"

"You want us to go to the X-Men?" John blinked. "But those guys are so _borrrrrrring!_ They're no fun! They never let me do anything!"

"Because most of the things you do involve property damage." Lance groaned. "Or trying to get Magma to flare up."

"Since when did we care if we broke the X-Geeks' stuff?" Fred frowned, crossing his arms.

"I like wrecking Summers' car as much as the next man, but there _are_ times when we do not need it!" Lance snapped.

"Oh, you mean like the times you try and pick the Valley Girl Sheila up for a date." John realized.

"Yes, John. Like those times." Lance pinched the bridge of his nose.

"What makes you think those X-Guys will help us, mate?" John scratched his head. "They hate us…because we're cool."

"…And Pietro letches on the girls." Lance added. "…and John sets fires…"

"You say that like it's a bad thing!" John grinned.

"It _is_, you koala-worshipping weirdo!" Lance snapped. "And Fred steals the food out of their big mansion!"

"Well, I get hungry, man." Fred groaned.

"We're getting way off topic here." Lance shook his head. "Look, I'm going to go over and see what the big blue gorilla has to say about this box." He walked out of the house. Fred and John watched him head towards his jeep.

"So…" Fred started, looking at John.

"So…" John responded, looking back at Fred.

"…you wanna go with him?" The large Texan answered.

"…Sure, why not?" John shrugged. "It beats sitting around the house."

"You two dipsticks can come, just as long as you keep your butts in the jeep, and your mouths shut." Lance grumbled.

"I'm not a dipstick. I'm not." Fred muttered petulantly as he got in.

"…Can I make faces?" John offered. Lance shot him a withering glare, one that promised heaping helpings of pain on the reddish-blond Aussie. "Eh-heh-heh, never mind. I'll be good."

Well, well, well! Looks like our heroes are going to get a few clues! What madness will happen next? Did Rogue's reading about Golden Age superheroes have anything to do with anything? Will Lance get the box translated? Will Pyro and Blob get into trouble? Will I ever get around to tormenting Kelly and Duncan again? Will I ever stop asking stupid questions? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!

**(1) – See the episode "Operation: Rebirth"**

**(2) – The first Human Torch was an android who took the name Jim Hammond, who was one of the big heroes of Marvel's Golden Age.**

**(3) – Yes, folks. Those are real superhero characters who were published by Marvel Comics, or as they were known as back then, Timely Comics, back in the Golden Age of Comics.**


	92. The Cereal Box Saga, Part 3

**The Starr Chronicles**

**Disclaimer: "Has anyone ever told you that you have a SERIOUS IMPULSE CONTROL PROBLEM?" – Jim Carrey as the Riddler, _Batman Forever_**

Chapter 92: The Cereal Box Saga, Part 3

**A wooded area, outside Bayville**

A motorcycle raced along a beaten path. It was manned by a certain Canadian mutant, wearing a motorcycle helmet with a mirrored front plate that resembled his mask in shape. The motorcycle stopped at a clearing. Logan got off it and took off his helmet. He couldn't help but smile when he looked down at the woods below.

"Heh." He smirked to himself. "Does a man good to get away from the kids once in a while." His superhumanly-sharp senses picked up a throbbing noise…but not throbbing…helicopter blades.

"You are kidding me." Logan grumbled. He saw a helicopter land nearby him. A panel on the side of it opened up, revealing a man with short gray hair in a crew cut, white at the temples, and an eyepatch. "Nick Fury."

"How're you doing, Logan?" Fury asked, emerging from the helicopter.

"What do you want, Nick?" Logan grunted, crossing his arms. "I don't work for S.H.I.E.L.D. anymore."

"I just came by to tell you that I know about what you did with that second Rebirth chamber." Fury explained. "Magneto got a chance to rejuvenate himself with that thing."

"Because he claimed that the Rebirth chamber was safe for mutants. It would give them immortality, Nick." Logan explained.

"Next time you meet Magneto, tell him about Steve Rogers." Fury grumbled. "The man is now immortal…an immortal popsicle."

"Steve Rogers was human, Nick." Logan shook his head. "A great one, but he was still human."

"In this day and age, we could use Captain America again." Fury sighed. "I never could ask anyone else to wear that uniform. Rogers was born to do it."

"Again Fury, I doubt you're here to reminisce about the war years." Logan grunted.

"Actually, I need your help." Fury sighed. "That idiot Delgado got himself into another…situation."

"Oh, God…" Logan groaned, pinching his nose. "Let me guess, he got another diplomat drunk, right?"

"Yup. That's the gist of it." Fury sighed. "Hard to believe that he's one of the best agents S.H.I.E.L.D. has in its ranks."

"I thought he was on forced sabbatical." Logan grunted.

"He was." Fury confirmed with a nod. "Went back to his houseboat with his kids."

"Last time something like this happened, Delgado nearly caused an international incident." Logan grumbled.

"Yeah, but the man ended up foiling an assassination attempt, and that guy's daughter is known for…getting around." Fury countered. "So, despite the insanity, embarrassment, and increased alcoholism he brings to S.H.I.E.L.D., he's one of our best."

"This is the _last_ time I'm rescuing his butt, Fury." Logan warned. "That moron may be good, but he _really_ needs to be put on a leash!"

"Funny, some of the boys say that about you." Fury smirked. The feral mutant grumbled.

**The Xavier Institute**

"Okay, we're here!" Lance announced as his jeep pulled up in front of the Institute's front gates. "Alright, now you two morons keep your mouths shut and your butts in those seats. Don't _do_ anything, don't _say_ anything, don't even _THINK_ anything until we get home! Especially you, John!"

"Aw come on, mate!" John giggled. "You act like we're completely irresponsible or something."

"Because you are." Lance reminded. He got out of the jeep. "Now remember what I told you guys. I mean it."

"Are you sure they'll let us in?" John asked from the jeep.

"Yeah, I'm sure, John." Lance grunted. "It's called announcing beforehand."

"But Mystique said that bad guys don't do that." Fred scratched his head.

"One: Mystique left us high and dry. Two: Magneto doesn't care about what we do. He dumped Pyro here because he got tired of him being typical John. Three: We haven't done anything _remotely_ 'evil' in a long time. Four: Bad guys have done that on occasion. Haven't you guys ever read comic books?" Lance listed.

"Oh, okay." Fred nodded, satisfied with Lance's remark.

"Oh, right!" John snapped his fingers as he put it together. "Just like in me latest novel!"

"_You_ write?" Lance blinked in disbelief. "I didn't even think you could _read_, much less write!"

"I can read! And I can write, too." John pouted defensively. "I write Gothic romance."

"You mean, like vampires and stuff?" Fred blinked. John nodded.

"Uh huh. I have a couple in the works. One is called _Moonlight Metal_. It's inspired by the fact that I'm in a band. It's about a rock musician who meets a beautiful vampire in Los Angeles, and they solve a thousand-year-old mystery." John grinned proudly. "I'm going to go submit it for publishing next week."

"What's the mystery, where your brain went?" Lance crossed his arms. The brown-haired geokinetic activated the intercom as John let out a "Hey!" in his defense.

"Just for that, I'm not going to let you read my manuscript." John pouted.

"I think that's a good thing." Fred nodded. "I read one page at random, and I nearly got a heart attack."

"Xavier Institute. How may I help you?" Ororo Munroe's voice came from the intercom.

"Uh, yeah, uhm…" Lance scratched the back of his head. He was hardly used to speaking ot the X-Men like this. Normally, a Brotherhood member would burst their way. However, Lance had other things in mind.

"Can you let us in?" John called loudly from the jeep.

"John, shut up!" Lance snapped. Another voice came from the intercom.

"Alright, Alvers! What're you and your Brotherhood punks up to?" Scott snapped from the intercom.

"Hey, I came here to get something!" Lance snapped. "I want to talk to the Beast!"

"Why do you want Mr. McCoy?" Scott growled.

"We found a lost Dead Sea Scroll, and we need to get it translated." Lance quipped.

"Scott, let me." Ororo sighed. "I am sorry about that, gentlemen."

"Is Mr. McCoy here?" Lance sighed. "We found this cereal box, I think it's in Japanese or something, and we need to get it translated."

"I…see…" Ororo answered. "Why go to Mr. McCoy?"

"Because he's the big Renaissance Man around the place, and we don't know anyone else who has a _hope_ of knowing Japanese and-!" He quickly whipped his head around. "No, John! I hear one more word about that stupid tree, and I will bury you alive!"

"Alright, I'll let you in." Ororo agreed. The gate opened and Lance walked up the pathway to the front door. The brown-haired mutant scowled at the X-Man standing at the door.

"Out of my way, Summers." Lance growled.

"What do you want with Beast, Alvers?" Scott narrowed his eyes behind his ruby quartz glasses.

"I want to set him up with your mama." Lance cracked. Scott set his jaw.

"Why you-!" Scott growled.

"Hey, Lance!" Kitty walked through the door.

"Kitty, go back inside." Scott ordered.

"Hey, Pretty Kitty." Lance waved.

"Come on in, Lance! Beast is right this way!" She grabbed Lance's hand and dragged him inside. The geokinetic smirked at the optic blaster as he walked in.

"Hey Summers, can you do me a favor and keep an eye on Larry and Curly over there for me?" Lance asked, pointing at his jeep as he was dragged away. "Thanks a lot!" Scott blinked and turned around, noticing John and Fred in Lance's jeep. The two of them waved.

"Hello, X-Men Boss Lady!" John called loudly, waving.

"Boss Lady?" Scott blinked. Meanwhile, Kitty had dragged Lance into Beast's lab.

"Well, what have you got there, Mr. Alvers?" Beast eyed the cereal box Lance was holding.

"Uh, yeah." Lance blinked, holding out the box. "It's obviously a cereal box. I think it's in Japanese or something." Beast took the box and examined it.

"Well, it does not appear to be anything special. It is just an ordinary cereal box. Although I wonder how a Japanese cereal box found its way here…Hello…" Beast observed the cartoon character on the box, a head with no body. "Oh my stars and garters! This character on the box bears a remarkable resemblance to the Blob!"

"Yeah, we noticed that too." Lance nodded. "Personally, I think it's one insane coincidence. It's freaking Fred out. He's getting as paranoid as John."

"Aie…" Kitty winced.

"I personally can safely concur with you, Mr. Alvers." Beast smiled. "I hardly believe that Mr. Dukes would know anyone in Japan, so it has to be a coincidence. Perhaps there is a telephone number you can use to contact the company and ask them about the logo."

"Yeah, I could use some help getting that box translated." Lance shrugged. "It's freaking Fred out."

"Okay…" Beast went over to a computer and plugged in a gadget that looked like a glowstick that was a foot-and-half long, and green.

"What's that?" Lance blinked.

"A scanner." Beast explained. "I'm going to scan the box's text into the computer, and then use a translator program to see what it says." He ran the glowing wand over the box's text. "Now, to translate." The blue-furred mutant typed some commands. "Evidently, the cereal is called Mr. Flakes. Mr. Flakes also appears to be the name of the character on it."

"Only in Japan." Lance snickered. "Mr. Flakes would never fly here."

"Mr. Flakes is a corn-based cereal." Beast read the screen. Kitty also took a look.

"Like, it also says here that Mr. Flake is Japan's number one breakfast cereal. It also is totally made by the Yoyoyama Cereal Corporation."

"I think I heard that name in a movie." Lance frowned.

"I can't find a number on this thing." Kitty looked at the box.

"Ah, that's fine." Lance shrugged, taking the box. "I'll go down to the library and see if they have a phone book or something." Suddenly, an explosion was heard from outside, and alarms started blaring.

"Oh, dear!" Beast exclaimed. "Are we under attack?"

"No, just the Stooges are at it again." Lance grumbled.

Well, well, well! Looks like more insanity is about to erupt? What was up with Fury and Logan? Will Lance get to the Library? Will he kill John and Fred? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	93. The Cereal Box Saga, Part 4

**The Starr Chronicles**

**Disclaimer: "He's runnin' like a scalded dog!" – Jim "Good Ol' JR" Ross, _Monday Night Raw_**

Chapter 93: The Cereal Box Saga, Part 4

**The Brotherhood House**

"_Doo-be doo be, doo-be doo…_" Todd Tolensky, the young amphibious mutant codenamed Toad, hummed happily as he sat in his rather messy room. He was sitting on his bed, and he had his laptop on his lap. Attached to the monitor of his laptop was what appeared to be a webcam. The young mutant started typing some commands. "Okay…let's see if this webcam I…obtained works." The monitor of the laptop showed the image of a slightly small teenage girl's room. "Hello, Al."

"Hey, who is calling me on my…" A black-and-blue-haired girl appeared on the screen. She looked at the webcam on her computer. "Oh. Hey, Todd."

"Hey." Todd waved.

"I didn't know you had a webcam." Althea Delgado blinked. "Neat! We can talk to each other!"

"Yeah, I recently picked one up." Todd chuckled. "How're things in Miami?"

"Meh." Althea shrugged. "The usual. Sun, sand, and surf. How're things in New York?"

"Winter's coming up." Todd explained. "I hate the cold, yo. Always have."

"Aww…" Althea chuckled. "Well, why not come down to Miami again and enjoy the sunshine? You and me could go surfing." She smiled and winked. Todd snickered.

"Maybe for Christmas, yo." Todd chuckled. He heard a crash. "What was that?"

"Oh, God…" Althea groaned. "It must be the girls again."

"Aie…" Todd winced.

"Hang on, Todd. I'll be right back." Althea quickly got up and left the small room. Sounds of shouting were heard, accompanied by doors slamming. A grumbling Althea stomped back to the room. "Sorry about that, Todd."

"Eh, that's cool." Todd shrugged. "Shouldn't your father be dealing with them?"

"He got called away." Althea explained. "Something about business in another country. Knowing him, he's out drunk again."

"Man, it must suck having a father like that." Todd frowned.

"He's not that bad, really." Althea admitted. 'He's a good dad, just sometimes, I'm more mature than he is."

"I bet." Todd snickered. "Anyway, something really funny went down today."

"Really? What?" Althea wondered.

"Well, Fred found a cereal box today." Todd explained. "I think it was in Japanese or something."

"Really?" Althea blinked. "Well, where did you guys find this box?"

"John, Lance, and Fred found it in a dump." Todd explained. "You see, it has this mascot on it, and it looks almost like Fred!"

"Wow!" Althea's jaw dropped. "That's one heckuva coincidence!"

"Yeah." Todd nodded. "It's freaking Fred out something fierce, yo." Todd chuckled. "He's acting as insane as Pyro."

"Pyro's the nutty Australian, right?" Althea scrunched her face, trying to remember. "Yeah, you told me about him. I never got to meet him."

"Don't wear anything flammable around him." Todd advised, making Althea laugh. "Anyway, the cereal box is really freaking Fred out. So, he, Lance, and John decided to go down to the library and find out about the box's makers."

"But I thought you guys had a computer." Althea blinked.

"We did…" Todd sighed. "But Wanda smashed the monitor upside Pietro's head."

"What'd he do?" Althea winced.

"Don't ask." Todd sighed.

**The Bayville Library**

"Man, I hate the library." Fred grumbled as he saw the large building come up. "I feel stupid every time I get near it."

"I love the library." John grinned. "It's a fun place to be."

"I highly doubt you go there to read, John." Lance sighed, trying to keep his eyes on the road.

"Why do we have to go here, Lance?" Fred moaned. "Can't we go home and look up the phone number on the Internet or something?"

"We can't use the computer because Wanda smashed the monitor upside Pietro's head, Freddy." Lance sighed.

"We should've asked those X-Guys." John shook his head. "They translated the box. I'm sure they could find the company's phone number."

"John, where were you a few minutes ago?" Lance groaned in exasperation. "You and Freddy were trying to pick a fight with the X-Geeks!"

"Berzerker called me fat and stupid." Fred pouted.

"And that Sunspot guy said that I belonged in a madhouse." John grumbled. "I don't belong in a madhouse. That's a place crazy people go to!" Lance blinked at John's latest statement.

"You're kidding, right Allerdyce?" Lance blinked. "You're telling me that you don't think you're nuts?"

"Me mother always told me that I was pleasantly quirky." John grinned widely and proudly.

"Was your mother ever a resident of a looney bin?" Lance blinked, still keeping his eyes on the road.

"No, she was an actress." John blinked. "She did some local soap operas…and some commercials. Ooh! And she did a couple bit parts in some movies! Do you guys know the movie _Super Spy_?"

"Know? I love that movie!" Fred grinned.

"Yeah!" Lance agreed. "Hey, my favorite part was that scene where Freddy Fortress is fighting that huge Yugoslavian guy. Remember that?"

"Oh yeah!" Fred grinned. "He was inde…indur…unhurtable."

"Yeah, but Rage is able to stop him by smashing his face into a hot plate, and then he _impaled_ the guy in the gut with a sub sandwich!" Lance laughed. "Oh man, it was great! The sandwich stuck out of his spine, there was blood and lettuce everywhere!"

"Did he _have_ to use a sandwich?" Fred groaned. "There were other things there!"

"Uh-huh." John nodded. "Well, during the fight, he ran into a woman's apartment and found the sandwich that he would eventually use to impale the guy. That woman was me mother." John grinned proudly.

"Wow. Really?" Fred's jaw dropped.

"Yup." John nodded, his face stretching into a big grin.

"Small world." Lance shook his head. "And I remember seeing that woman. She was hot."

"That's me mum, mate. And she's married." John admonished.

"To who?" Lance wondered.

"Me dad, silly." John grinned.

"What's your dad's name, John?" Lance sighed. The Australian pyrokinetic blinked at the question.

"Uhm…" The reddish-blond mutant scrunched his face as he tried to answer the question. "Uh…Dad?" John guessed, blinking to show he wasn't sure if that was the answer Lance wanted.

"Oh, God…" Lance groaned. "We're here." He pulled up to the parking lot of the library. "Let's go. In and out, gentlemen."

"I don't really like this place." Fred frowned at the library. "I really don't like this place. I really do feel stupid when I walk in here."

"Well, why not just try a book out, mate?" John grinned. "It'll do you good." The three walked inside and Lance went up to the front desk.

"Hey, do you guys have phone books from other countries?" The geokinetic asked the librarian.

"Yes, we do! Pretty convenient, huh?" The librarian grinned chirpily.

"…Riiiiiiiiiight." Lance blinked. "Anyway, do you have one for Japan?"

"I think so, why?" The librarian wondered.

"Just because." Lance responded. Meanwhile, Fred and John wandered off.

"Whoa…" Fred's jaw dropped when he approached a shelf. A shelf full of cookbooks. To Fred, a light shone over the shelf and a chorus played a heavenly song. "…I changed my mind. I love the library." Meanwhile, Lance had found the number and dialed on a phone.

"Hello?" Lance asked when he got an answer. "I'm looking for someone who can speak English, please. My Japanese is a little rusty…Yes, I'm looking for some information regarding Mr. Flakes…"

"Yes, company can send tape!" The heavily-accented voice answered brightly on the other end.

"Really? You can send a tape?" Lance brightened.

"Yes! We can send tape! Answer all questions one hundred percent!" The voice promised.

"Well, thanks a lot…" Lance heard a scream. He saw Bayville High's biology teacher run by, being chased by several book-throwing apes…made of flames. "JOHN!"

Well, well, well! Looks like the gang just may get their answers! What madness will happen next? Will the tape arrive? Will it answer their questions? Will the webcam conversation between Todd and Althea continue? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	94. The Cereal Box Saga, Part 5

**The Starr Chronicles**

**Disclaimer: "I'm Spartacus!"**

Chapter 94: The Cereal Box Saga, Part 5

**The Brotherhood Boarding House**

_Knock knock knock!_

"Okay, Okay, I'm coming." Todd Tolensky hopped to the door and opened it. He saw a mailman standing there, holding a small package.

"Package for a Lance Alvers." The mailman held it out.

"He ain't in right now. I'll hold on to it for him." Todd took the package. "Thank you." He closed the door. He was about to leave when the door was heard knocking again. The amphibian-like mutant turned around and opened the door, revealing a pizza guy, holding a couple cardboard boxes.

"Pizza for Todd Tolensky." The pizza guy announced.

"Alright! Thanks, yo!" Todd grinned. He fished out some money, and handed it to the pizza guy. He then started to close the door, when the pizza guy stopped him.

"Hey, you gave me a ten! The tab was thirteen!" The pizza guy told Todd.

"You're two minutes late, dude!" Todd grinned. "Thirty-minutes or less, guaranteed. I timed you. Thirty-two minutes."

"Aw, give me a break! I couldn't find the blasted place! I thought they were going to tear down this house, man!" The pizza guy groaned.

"Wise man say, yo, forgiveness is divine, but never pay full price for late pizza." Todd told the pizza guy in a voice imitating the stereotypical Asian wise man. The pizza guy groaned.

"I gotta get a new route." He grumbled as he left. "I thought I had sane people on this route..." He noticed the mailman was scowling at him. "What do you want?" **(1)**

"I thought I recognized you from somewhere..." The mailman scowled.

"From where, the dog pound?" The pizza guy grunted.

"Yeah, I recognize you..." The mailman growled, getting into the pizza guy's face. "You were hitting on my girlfriend!"

"Ohhhh..." The pizza guy nodded, understanding what he was talking about. "_You're_ Trisha's boyfriend. Oh, I remember you now."

"Yeah, that's me!" The mailman growled.

"Oh yeah, she said you were a complete moron who doesn't have a clue what to do with a woman." The pizza guy smirked.

"She said that?" The mailman growled, getting into the pizza guy's face.

"Oh, yeah." The pizza guy grinned arrogantly. "She also said that you are a pathetic guy with a pathetic job, and no chance of getting anywhere in life."

"What're you insinuating?" The mailman growled. The pizza guy's arrogant grin grew wider.

"I'm insinuating that all those times your girl was out hanging with friends...she was with me."

"WHY YOU SONOVA-!" The mailman roared, throwing his fist.

_**POW!**_

The mailman socked the pizza guy right in the jaw, and they started grappling, cursing, and trading punches right on the front lawn. Lance's jeep pulled up, and the three mutants watched the fight.

"What in the name of all-?" Fred blinked.

"Why do I get the feeling that I'd be better off not knowing?" Lance sighed, putting his head on the steering wheel. John watched the fight.

"It's a woman." The insane Australian deduced. "They're fighting over a woman."

"Now how do you know that, John?" Freddy frowned at the Australian, crossing his arms.

"Easy, mate." John grinned. "Only in fights over women does one guy beat on another guy with a wedge of cheese."

"A wedge of cheese?" Fred repeated in disbelief. "Oh come on, Pyro! I may not be an Einstein, but I'm not exactly...Huh?" Fred looked up and noticed that the mailman was whacking the pizza guy upside the head with a wedge of cheese. "What the-?"

"See?" John grinned triumphantly. Fred groaned.

"John, your insanity never ceases to amaze me." Lance sighed as he got out of the jeep, carefully avoiding the fighting mailman and pizza guy. Blob and Pyro followed him as Lance entered the house.

"What's with all the books, Blob?" John noticed the books he was carrying. "I thought you hated the library."

"That was before I discovered they had cookbooks there." The powerhouse Texan grinned.

"Hey guys!" Todd waved. "Oh, a package came for ya!" Todd handed the package to the geokinetic.

"Huh." Lance blinked. He opened up the package and pulled out a video tape.

"Hey, it's that tape that Japanese cereal company said they'd send me." Lance realized as he read the label.

"Wow." Blob blinked. "When'd you call them?"

"...Only a few minutes ago." Lance realized.

"Wow." John whistled. "Those Japanese movies are quick." Lance and Fred looked at the pyrokinetic like he was insane.

"What is it, yo?" Todd wondered.

"We'll explain later." Lance told the young amphibious mutant. "Where's the VCR?" Todd blinked.

"It's where it always is. Right under the TV." Todd motioned at the living room with his thumb.

"Thanks!" Lance, Fred, and John rushed into the living room. Todd blinked at that action for a moment, then he walked into the kitchen, where Lila was making a sandwich.

"Lance, Fred, and John are sure acting weird, yo." Todd shook his head.

"You're surprised?" Lila blinked. "John's _always_ been weird. At least that's what Paul has told me. John claims that he's quirky."

"And you _believe_ him?" Todd cracked flatly. Lila shrugged as she went

"MMMF!" A muffled voice cried out.

"Huh?" The amphibious mutant blinked. He turned to the doorway, and his eyes widened and jaw dropped. "WHAT THE-?" He saw Sam Guthrie, the Kentucky-born New Mutant codenamed Cannonball, hop by. He was gagged and tied up from the shoulders down to his feet.

"MMF! MMF! MMMMF!" He cried out. Lila whipped her head around.

"What in the-?" Todd blinked.

"Sammy!" Lila exclaimed, running out of the room. "Get back here!" Todd stared at the doorway, jaw agape.

"...Ah...Well, I have been wondering where that human rocket went off to." Todd blinked. Meanwhile, Lance, Fred, and John put the tape in the VCR, and played it. The screen showed the image of a fat Japanese man smoking a cigar, sitting in a hot tub. The man looked into the camera.

"Ah. Hello, American investor." He greeted with a smile, his voice spiced by a Japanese accent.

"But we're not investors, Lance." Fred whispered.

"Shh!" Lance hissed.

"I see you are interested in distributing Mr. Flakes in your home prefecture." The Japanese man continued.

"Uh...what's a prefecture?" John scratched his head. "And is it flammable?"

"A prefecture's like a state, John. It's what the Japanese call their states, like New York and the like." Lance explained.

"Mr. Flakes is a fine cereal." The Japanese man smiled. "It is one of the most popular breakfast items in all of Japan, and we feel it will do well in the United States. But do not take my word for it, enjoy this commercial."

"The Japanese have commercials?" Fred blinked.

"The Japanese watch TV, Fred. If they have TV, they have commercials." Lance pinched the bridge of his nose. The Japanese commercial was unlike anything that the boys had ever seen. It consisted of the flying Fred-like logo hovering around and doing stuff, while screaming his catchphrases.

"I have great hatred for hunger?" Lance repeated with a chuckle.

"I shall smite starvation?" John snickered.

"Oh, my God..." Fred laughed. "This commercial is hilarious!" Fred noticed the scene with the reporter interviewing the cow, and the logo causing the cow to tip over. "Ooh! I love cow-tipping!"

"Knowing Blobby, he didn't tip cows, he threw them." John whispered to Lance, making the two mutants snicker. The commercial ended, with Mr. Flakes crying out.

"Mr. Flakes! I bring joy to the stomachs of the world!" **(2)** The three mutants stared at the television.

"...Wow." Lance blinked.

"That was so funny!" John burst out laughing. "I love Japanese TV!"

"You know, John..." Lance smirked. "Some American celebrities have starred in Japanese commercials. I saw this one for an energy drink with Arnold Schwarzenegger as some kind of genie."

"Wow!" John grinned. "I wonder why I've never seen that!"

"Contracts don't allow the commercials to be shown in the States." Lance explained. "Something about fear of embarrassment."

"Then why do they do it?" John frowned.

"Moolah. Plain and simple." Lance answered.

"I liked this commercial...but there was one problem." Fred frowned. "It didn't explain a thing! Let's just face it! It's hopeless! These guys took my face, and I can't do a thing about it! AAAAGH!" Fred got off the couch and got to his knees. "WHY GOD WHY?"

"Hey, look!" John pointed at the TV.

"This cereal is a joint venture of the Mitsubrushi Electrics and Toyoza Fishworks." The company's logos, respectively a teardrop-shaped lightbulb and a grinning fish appeared. The two logos came together, forming the Mr. Flakes logo.

"Hey...it was those two logos combined!" Lance realized. "It was all a coincidence."

"Yup. There's your answer, Fishbulb." John quipped. **(3)** Fred blinked at the screen, and slowly got up.

"Wow. What a crazy ride that was. Come on, you guys. Let's go home." Fred walked towards the couch.

"We are home, Fred." Lance reminded.

"That was quick." Fred sat down.

Well, well, well! Another classic Starr Chronicles storyline comes to an end! What madness will happen next? Will there be any repercussions? Will Sam escape? What was up with that fight in the front lawn? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!

**(1) - Adapted from one of the old Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movies. The first one, I think.**

**(2) - Translated from the Japanese.**

**(3) - A classic Bart Simpson line.**


	95. Speed of Sound, Part 1

**The Starr Chronicles**

**Disclaimer: "I'm not touching that with a ten-foot pole."**

Chapter 95: Speed of Sound, Part 1

**The deserts of Arizona**

Arizona. The forty-eighth state. The Copper State. A state known for deserts and a Grand Canyon. And soon, the state of Arizona would be known for something else.

A lone buffalo raced through the sand, kicking up a cloud in its wake, trying to keep up with the rest of its herd. The buffalo was being followed by a lone figure. The figure was a teenage boy, around 17 or 18, although his size and muscle mass didn't indicate that. Standing at over seven feet, the teenager was Native American in descent, dressed in blue jeans and a red flannel shirt with the sleeves rolled up. His longish black hair was kept from his face by a red headband. He also had on a ceremonial necklace. Amazingly, the kid was keeping up with the buffalo, who was running at speeds around 40 miles per hour. In fact, he was on the verge of _overtaking_ it!

"Didn't expect to see me again, did you buffalo?" The teenager smirked. "This time, I'll show you! I'll show the world that the Apache still have warriors among them!" He ran up to the buffalo and grabbed it by the horns. Then, with one mighty heave, he forced the buffalo down to the ground. "There! I have proven to you that my people are still mighty!" Satisfied, he helped the buffalo to its feet and sent it on its way.

"Impressive, pal." A voice complimented. The powerhouse teenager turned his head and saw another teenage boy, smirking at him, standing a ways back. This new kid was a redhead, clad in a burgundy uniform, like a superhero costume, with a large black diagonal stripe from the kid's left shoulder to the right thigh. Like the Apache kid, this boy had a headband around his head. The Apache narrowed his eyes. "John Proudstar, I presume?" The Apache, John, scowled.

"Who are you?" John frowned. "And what do you want?"

"Hey, I just wanted to say hi, and compliment you on your catch." The big redhead smirked. "You could've taken that big old buffalo and gotten a lot of meat out of him."

"I just needed to catch him, that's all." John frowned. "And you haven't answered my questions, pal. Who are you, and what're you doing here?"

"The name's Wilson. Buford Wilson." The big kid introduced himself. "I was sent to speak to you."

"By whom, pal?" John frowned.

"A school." Buford explained. "For kids like us. You know, mutants."

"...So?" John crossed his arms. "I already go to a school."

"Yeah, but I bet yours doesn't allow you a chance to use your powers, huh?" Buford smirked.

"That's why I come out here." John explained, waving to the desert. "Here, I can test my powers."

"Yeah, but the school I go to can give you..." Buford started to counter.

"Pal, I don't need any white man telling me where I can and can't go. My people have already been put through enough of that." John countered. "If you're offering me something, I don't want it. Now, quit standing there like a rock and beat it." The Apache mutant raced off. Buford crossed his arms and smirked. His eyes flashed red.

**The Brotherhood Boarding House**

Lila Cheney and Lance Alvers sat down at the kitchen to have some breakfast. The interstellar teleporter looked up from her cereal.

"Hey Lance, did you guys ever figure out about Blob and the cereal box over there? I forget." Lila pointed to the infamous cereal box. The box was sitting on top of the fridge. After the whole insanity with the box, Avalanche, Blob, and Pyro figured that they'd keep the box. After all, it may have freaked Fred out, but it was still neat to have something from another country in the house, even if it was just a cereal box.

"Oh yeah." Lance nodded. "Turns out that the whole thing was just a coincidence. Weird, but true."

"Ah." Lila nodded. "You know, it's funny. How did a Japanese cereal box find its way to an American landfill?"

"One of those mysteries of life, Lila." Lance explained sagely, biting into his toast. "It's like which came first, the chicken or the egg?" As Lance spoke, John walked in and started raiding the fridge. He couldn't help but overhear.

"Ooh! Ooh! I know this one!" John grinned, raising his hand. "It was the egg!"

"But who laid the egg?" Lila asked.

"The chicken! So the chicken came first." John grinned widely.

"Yeah, but where'd the chicken come from?" Lance snickered. Confusing John was fun.

"...an egg?" John blinked. "But then the chicken would have to lay it...which means that chicken would have to come from an egg...but then another chicken would have to lay it..." John's eyes crossed. "Oh no, I've gone crosseyed."

"Again." Lance snickered, hi-fiving Lila.

"Not funny! Now I have to get me eyes uncrossed." John pouted. The insane Australian pyrokinetic mutant walked towards the exit, but bonked his head on the wall. "Ow! Stupid crosseyes. He stumbled out." A bemused Lance and Lila watched this.

"...I think he's getting better." Lila shrugged.

"That coming from a woman who stalks Kentucky natives?" Lance frowned.

"Ha. Ha. Ha." Lila drawled, rolling her eyes. "I am laughing."

"FREEEEEEDOM!" A familiar voice whooped. Lance and Lila leapt up from their seats.

"What the-?!" The two mutants chorused. They noticed the Beast run by outside. He was wearing a kilt and furs, and he was wielding a Claymore, a Scottish sword, swinging it about like a lunatic.

"They may take our lives, but they will never take our FREEDOM!" The Beast whooped as he ran by. Lance sighed.

"Call the X-Men, Lila. Tell 'em we spotted the Beast." The geokinetic groaned.

**Cincinnati, Ohio**

"Alright!" A man dressed in black, face covered by a ski mask, crowed as he pointed a futuristic-looking silver bazooka at the crowd of customers in a bank. He was flanked by several others dressed in the same manner, also holding futuristic weapons. "Everyone down! This is a hold-up!"

"Oh, God!" The customers leapt down the ground, scared out of their minds. Some of them started praying, others whimpered.

"Hold it right there, pal!" The bank's security guards pointed their guns at the robbers. The bazooka-toter nodded at one of his compatriots. The man took is futuristic pistol and slightly turned a large dial on it. He then aimed at the guards and fired it at them. The gun fired two spheres of green energy at the guards. When the spheres hit the guards, they slumped to the ground, green electricity running up and down their bodies. The customers and tellers screamed in fright.

"Relax, folks." The pistol-toter reassured. "It's on the stun setting. Those two will just be having a nice long nap. No need for unnecessary bloodshed. You all cooperate, and you all will leave unhurt." Several of the men produced sacks, and ran to the teller booths.

"Fill them up! Now!" The bazooka-toter ordered loudly as he and a couple of the black-clad men walked deeper into the front lobby. "Check the area! We have to cheese it quick before the cops and you-know-who gets here."

"Too late, gentlemen." A voice, belonging to a teenage kid, told them.

"Oh, God. It can't be..." The bazooka-toter turned around...and saw a teenage boy standing at the door. He was around 16 years old. He was dressed in a suit of armor, which appeared to be a silver costume, with black lightning bolts adorning the sides of his arms and legs. The upper and lower torso were covered by a sleek blue chest plate, with the collarbone areas sporting silver lightning bolts, forming a V. The shoulders were covered by triangular shoulder pads. The lower arms and hands were covered by blue gauntlets with built-in sonic cannons around the arms. His lower legs were also covered by blue armored boots, with small metal wings adorning the shins. His head was covered in a silver helmet. The helmet allowed his mouth to show, and covered his eyes with a blue translucent visor. The top of the helmet looked like a hard hat, only the brim went all the way around the hat, and the sides of the hat had decorative blue metallic wings.

"Sonic Blue!" One of the customers exclaimed. The boy nodded with a smile. He gripped his helmet's brim and tipped his head a little, his way of tipping his hat.

"Don't worry, folks. I'll help take care of this. I recommend you all stay down on the ground."

"Crud! It's Sonic Blue!" One robber exclaimed.

"Man, I knew we should've gone to Cleveland..." Another one of the robbers groaned.

"I ain't afraid of no armor-wearing Iron Man wannabe!" The bazooka-toting thief grunted, hefting his weapon and firing it. The armored teenager sighed. A faceplate closed over his mouth, and he zipped out of the way of the blast.

"Now that was not very nice." He tutted, shaking his finger. "And I suggest you use some grammar. The correct form is 'I am not afraid of any armor-wearing Iron Man wannabe'." He pointed his fist at the bazooka-toter, and the sonic cannons on his arm started to glow. They fired a blue beam at the bazooka-toter, knocking the bazooka out of the man's hand. The armored teenager then downed the man with one punch right to the jaw.

"He took out the boss!" One of the thieves exclaimed. "Blast that sucker!" The thieves tried to blast Sonic Blue with their futuristic weaponry, but the teenage speedster easily dodged all the weapon blasts. He then fired back with his own sonic blasts, knocking the weapons out of the men's hands.

"Hey what-?" One of the thieves blinked.

"How did he-?" Another wondered.

"The kid was so fast! I couldn't even clip 'im!" A third exclaimed. "Agh!" Sonic Blue took him down with one punch. Then, as quick as lightning, the Iron Speedster easily took down the other robbers.

"Don't worry, folks." Sonic Blue smiled at the bank customers. "They won't be causing trouble for anyone else anymore." He looked at the guards and scanned them with his visor. "Oh, good. They're not hurt."

"Oh, God...my head..." One of the guards moaned as they started to get up.

"Well, I should be on my way. Crime to stop and all that stuff." Sonic Blue smiled, tipping his helmet. "I have just alerted the police, and they are on their way. Gotta go." The Iron Speedster zipped off.

"...Wow. That was cool." One customer grinned.

**The skies over Bayville**

A mysterious fleet of alien craft started to slowly descend from orbit. And they were orbiting over Bayville...

Well, well, well! Looks like the insanity will continue! What madness will happen next? Who are the aliens? Why have they come? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	96. Speed of Sound, Part 2

**The Starr Chronicles**

**Disclaimer: "What if she stinks?" - Danny Glover as Sgt. Murtaugh,_ Lethal Weapon 2._ Oh, and the aliens that will appear here are the property of the BBC...I think.**

Chapter 96: Speed of Sound, Part 2

**The Brotherhood Boarding House, Bayville, New York**

"Dah...dah duh..." Lance Alvers sang to himself. He was sitting on the bed in his room, plucking his guitar. He heard a knocking on his door. The brown-haired geokinetic looked up. "Yeah, come in." The door opened slightly and Paul Starr peeked in.

"May I come in?" He asked politely.

"Yeah, sure." Lance waved. Paul made his way inside. "What's up, man?"

"Well...I want to ask you a question." Paul told the geokinetic. The mutant codenamed Starchild walked into the brown-mulleted teenager's room. "Who was Mystique?"

"Huh?" Lance blinked.

"Who was Mystique?" Paul wondered. "I never really thought about it, and Craig...well, I highly doubt he cares, but I overheard Pietro muttering about her leaving you guys high-and-dry." Lance nodded.

"Ah, I see." Lance nodded. He put his guitar back on its stand. "We never did tell you and your brother how we formed, did we?"

"I asked John, but he told me to ask you, Lance." Paul explained.

"Well, Mystique was a woman who brought the Brotherhood together." Lance explained. "She was a shape-shifter. Her real form had blue skin and red hair."

"Huh." Paul blinked. 'Why'd she bring you guys together?" Lance frowned as he tried to find the words.

"She...wanted to use us for some world-domination garbage or something." Paul's jaw dropped.

"Oh my God..." Paul gasped. Lance laughed.

"Don't worry about it, Starchild." Lance chuckled. "Do I look evil to you?" Paul frowned.

"But, if this Mystique woman wanted you guys to-?" He started to counter.

"She left us high-and-dry, Starchild." Lance explained. "Big surprise. She always thought we were incompetent idiots...she'd especially call Toad that."

"So...you guys came together...to be super-villains." Paul crossed his arms.

"Yeah, to be honest." Lance admitted.

"But didn't you think you guys could use your powers to do some good? To help people?" Paul blinked.

"Paul, what good can my powers do? I can shake the ground and cause things to topple down." Lance countered. Paul scratched his head.

"You'd get Employee of the Month constantly if you took a job at a demolition firm." Paul grinned.

"And Quicksilver?" Lance started to continue.

"Quicksilver's got super-speed, Lance." Paul reminded. "There's so much he could do. He could get pizzas to people and actually do it in under thirty minutes. Heck, knowing Pietro, he'd try to do it in under thirty _seconds_."

"Blob..." Lance tried again.

"Blob's super-strong and darn-near invincible!" Paul reminded. "I'm sure he'd be great on the Bayville Bomb Squad."

"Toad..." Lance tried a third time.

"Well, the US Olympic Team would be glad to have him on the long jump." Paul joked. A cry was heard. Lance and Paul turned their heads to the open door.

"Waaaaaaaaah!" The two mutants saw a screaming Todd stumble by. His head and limbs were comically sticking out of a large ball of yarn. "Help me!" He cried out as he rolled out of view, accompanied by the sound of him rolling down the stairs. A crash was heard from downstairs. "I'm okay..." He moaned weakly.

"Oh yes, Paul." Lance shot the LA-born mutant a look. "I've been getting a lot of calls from the American Olympic guys wanting him. They offered a lot of money and cereal endorsement deals, too."

"Ha, ha, ha." Paul rolled his eyes.

"Alright, Paul..." Lance smirked. "Since you've been cooking up good ways for us to use our powers, I got a challenge for you...what good can the Scarlet Witch do with _her_ powers?" Paul scrunched his face and scratched his head. "Ha! I knew it! You couldn't come up with anything!"

"Hang on, Lance! I didn't say that I didn't think of anything yet!" Paul told the geokinetic. "I'm still thinking! Now let's see..."

"I'm waiiiting..." Lance smirked, crossing his arms.

"Ah! I got it!" Paul grinned.

"This I gotta hear." Lance snickered. "Okay, Paul. What can she do?"

"Well..." Paul shot a proud smile. "She can use her powers to alter the odds in Vegas, and win a lot of money."

"...You're good." Lance nodded.

"Uh-huh." Paul grinned. He then sighed. "I can't believe I moved in with a bunch of mutants who were meant to be super-villains."

"Well, to be honest, we aren't really very good super-villains." Lance admitted. "I mean, we're hardly that Doctor Doom guy or anything." He sighed. "Look at us, Paul. We're teenagers with superpowers, a condemned home, and no guardian. What're we supposed to do?" Paul scratched his head.

**Downtown Bayville, sometime later**

"Whooooooooooooooo!" Lance whooped as he and Paul drove go-karts around the parking lot of the local Wal-Mart. "Hey, let's drive 'em inside!" Lance drove his go-kart right into the store. However, Starchild looked up. He saw several silver spaceships in the sky.

"What in the name of...?" A confused Paul blinked.

**The Xavier Institute**

"Louie? Louie? Can you hear me?" Jamie Madrox, the mutant multiplier codenamed Multiple, grumbled into a cell phone. "Louie, I need those Beligan chocolates, man! I need those Belgian chocolates! I am going to be throwing a birthday for a freakin' royal next week,and you told me that you'd have those chocolates yesterday!" He complained into a cell phone as he walked out onto the pool. "No! I promised her I'd get the chocolates! Do you have any idea what she said she'd do to me?" Overhearing Jamie was Tabitha Smith, the blonde X-Girl codenamed Boom-Boom, who was tanning. She also had a radio on.

"Hey shorty, what're you doing?" Tabby blinked. Jamie looked up.

"Trying not to kill Louie." The young clone-maker answered. "Louie, I gave her my word, and my word is my bond, okay? Are you trying to make me look like a liar?"

"Having trouble getting that stuff for Amara's birthday?" Tabitha noted.

"Oh, yeah." Jamie nodded. "That Louie, what a dolt." Jamie grumbled. "That twit said he'd get the chocolates, but then he loses them! Oh, God..." He noticed Tabitha look up in the sky. "...what is it, Tabby? Did Timmy fall down the well again?"

"Ha ha, Jamie. Look up." Tabitha pointed upwards. The clone-maker looked up as well. The two young mutants caught the sight of several silver spaceships in the air.

"Ho-lee..." Jamie blinked.

"Maybe we should tell them that Roswell is on the other side of the country." Tabitha quipped. Elsewhere, Scott Summers, the field leader of the X-Men, was enjoying some free time.

"Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz..." Scott snored as he laid on a hammock. "Zzzzzzzz...znort...grilled cheese...zzzzzz...I don't wanna go to Hoover Dam..."

"Scott! Scott!" Jean Grey called as she ran to the hammock. "Scott, wake up!"

"Zzzzzzz...Star Wars...zzzzzzzz..." Scott snored. "Zzzzzzz...my dad's a space pirate...zzzzzzzz..."

"Scott! Wake up!" Jean started shaking the optic blaster. "Scott!"

"Zzzzz...Alvers, stop this crazy thing...zzzzzzz..."

"Oh-!" Jean groaned. Using her telekinesis, the redhead flipped over the hammock, causing Scott to fall on his butt.

"Hey wha-?" A groggy Scott mumbled. "Jean, what was that for? I was having a nice dream."

"The pizza one again, right?" Jean smirked, crossing her arms.

"Huh?" Scott blinked. "No, I was dreaming I was in outer space or something...Why you wake me up?"

"Scott, look up in the sky." Jean pointed upwards.

"What, you saw Superman or something?" Scott cracked, looking up. He saw the silver spaceships. "Huh?"

**Cincinnati, Ohio**

Sonic Blue zipped into a house down in Cincinnati's Downtown area.

"Mom, I'm home!" He called, removing his helmet with the built-in visor, revealing that he had brown hair pulled into a ponytail, and bright blue eyes. "Mom? Where are you?"

"In here, dear." A feminine voice called. Sonic Blue smiled and walked into the kitchen. Inside was a beautiful woman in her forties, with long brown hair and blue eyes. She was reading a newspaper. "Hey, Spencer."

"Hey, mom." Sonic Blue, born Spencer Burton, smiled. "Any mail?"

"Oh, yeah." Delilah Burton nodded. "And you got a postcard from your Uncle Jack."

"Uncle Jack!" Spencer grinned. "Thanks, mom!" He took the postcard. "Man, Uncle Jack's had some interesting adventures. Like that incident down in San Francisco back in the 80s." Delilah sighed. **(1)**

"Jack always was one for getting himself into big trouble." Delilah remembered.

"He's your brother, mom." Spencer chuckled. The television in the kitchen started to show a special report.

"We have just received a special report! Strange silver spacecraft have been sighted over Bayville, New York." The screen showed the spacecraft hovering over Bayville. Spencer frowned.

"Oh, no..." The teenage hero mumbled. "They're back. I never thought they'd come back."

"Is that who I think they are, dear?" Delilah gasped.

"Oh yeah, mom." Spencer nodded. "The Cybermen. They're back." **(2)**

Well, well, well! Looks like the madness shall continue! What insanity will happen next? Who are the Cybermen? Can our heroes stop them? How will Sonic Blue and the X-Men get along? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!

**(1) – A nod to one of my favorite movies.**

**(2) – A crossover with a show I love, _Doctor Who._ The Cybermen are cyborg villains on that show.**


	97. Speed of Sound, Part 3

**The Starr Chronicles**

**Disclaimer: "He did! And he threw in Mom's favorite dishes to close the deal!"**

**Author's Note: L1701E here! In case you're wondering, the Cybermen here are a mixture of the incarnations of Cybermen from the old and new _Doctor Who_ show. Like the original series, the Cybermen are alien cyborgs. **

Chapter 97: Speed of Sound, Part 3

**Cincinnati, Ohio**

Spencer Burton, the blue-armored Iron Speedster known throughout the world as Sonic Blue, raced through the streets of his hometown, dodging cars with the greatest of ease.

_I can't believe that the Cybermen are back._ Sonic Blue frowned. _I thought they got the hint when I booted them right out of our planet with the help of that blond guy with the leek in his _jacket. The super-fast super-genius couldn't help but chuckle to himself. _Funny enough, he looked a lot like that guy in that English TV show about veterinarians my mom likes. _The Iron Speedster then pulled out a small blue device that resembled a PADD from _Star Trek_. "Time to visit Bayville!" Spencer tapped on the buttons, and pointed the gadget forward. The gadget fired a blue beam, and it formed into a glowing blue portal. The Iron Speedster zipped through the portal, and it closed behind him. **(1)**

**The Brotherhood Boarding House**

"Hey...where did Paul and Lance go, yo?" Todd asked Wanda as he walked down the stairs. Wanda was sitting on the couch, watching a movie.

"I dunno." The hexcaster shrugged. "I think John and Pietro went out grocery shopping."

"I said Paul and Lance." Todd repeated.

"Oh." Wanda looked up. "I have no idea. I'm not their secretary." She then remembered something. "Oh yeah, I overheard them saying something about getting some go-karts."

"Oh, okay." Todd nodded. He plopped down on a couch and started typing on the laptop he was carrying. Wanda blinked at the frog-like mutant.

"Toad..." Wanda raised an eyebrow. "...what're you doing with that laptop?"

"Huh?" Todd looked up from his laptop. "I'm just posting on a messageboard. Why?"

"...I never imagined you being into computers." The hexcaster admitted. "To be honest, I never imagined you to be really good at anything."

"Ha ha ha, I always imagined your talent was to crack snide remarks at everyone else." Todd cracked back, not looking up from his laptop. Wanda's eyes widened in surprise.

"You know, there was a time when you never spoke to me like that." She frowned. "Well, except when that alien was posing as you, but he doesn't count. You always spoke to me with those stupid pet names."

"I outgrew it, Witchie." Todd snickered. "And if you're wondering why I'm into computers..."

"I don't really care, but you'll tell me anyway." Wanda shrugged.

"Well, I like computers because unlike jocks, they don't beat me up." Todd explained. "Besides, we all have to be good at something. Fred's good at cooking, you're good at witchcraft, Lance is good at...being Lance, Pietro's good at fashion, Paul's good at music, Craig's good at fighting, Lila's good at stealing, so I thought I'd be the computer guy." Todd did some keystrokes on his keyboard. "Check it out, yo. I hacked into the White House and got the President's e-mail address."

"Yeah, have fun spamming the leader of the free world." Wanda got up and walked into the kitchen to get a snack. She noticed something odd out the window. "What in the-?" She walked towards the window and saw the silver spaceships in the sky. "Todd! Get a look at this!" Todd hopped in.

"Yeah, what's going on?" Todd hopped into the kitchen. "See a black cat by God Almighty!" He saw the spaceships. "Looks like the _Star Trek_ convention is in town."

"Todd, I don't think that joke is appropriate right now." Wanda blinked. "Look! Out in the yard!" Two shimmering columns of blue light, about as tall as a regular human and looking similar to the transporter effect on _Star Trek_, appeared on the front yard. And when the effect dissipated, two humanoid figures were standing in the yard.

"What...what are those things?" Wanda blinked.

"Aliens, duh!" Todd rolled his eyes. "Hopefully, they're friendly, like E.T."

"Knowing our luck, they'll be like the Xenomorphs in _Alien_." Wanda grumbled. She then thought about it. "Actually, it may not be so bad. I think it'd be pretty neat to see one of those baby Queens burst through Pietro's chest. Might humble him a little bit."

"I don't think those are Xenomorphs, yo." Todd frowned. "Unless they have handlebars on their heads." Wanda blinked. The aliens looked like they were actors in a science fiction show, clad in what appeared to be silver-painted flight suits with silver Doc Martens, and plastic chestplates. The heads were silver and cube-like, with silver right-angled handlebars jutting from the sides, and connecting at the top. Their eye sockets were round eyeholes, showing absolutely no emotion. **(2)**

"What _are_ those things?" Wanda blinked.

"I dunno." Todd shrugged. "Looks like something out of English sci-fi show." The two robots pointed their left arms at the house. "Hey, what're they doing, yo?"

"I don't like the look of that." Wanda blinked. A pair of futuristic cannons popped out of the outstretched arms of the the alien robots. The cannons started to glow. The two mutants' eyes widened. "Yup, I do not like the look of that!"

"Uh oh!"

"DOWN!" They both exclaimed. The two mutants ran as the wall exploded behind them, knocking them down to the ground.

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhh..." The two mutants moaned as they got to their feet, shaking the cobwebs out of their heads. The aliens started marching towards them.

"What was _that?_" Todd mumbled.

"We are the Cybermen." One of the aliens announced, the "mouth" of the alien flashing blue as it spoke. "We have come to delete your planet."

"Huh?" Wanda blinked.

"You will perish under maximum deletion." The Cyberman told the hexcaster as he pointed his arm cannon at her. It started to glow. **(3)**

"I don't think so, yo!" Todd grunted. "Hey, ugly!" The Cybermen turned their heads, and Todd spat some slime at them, which covered their faces.

"Warning: Ocular systems have been blocked off by unknown substance." The two Cybermen tried to remove the slime.

"That's not your only system that's going to be affected!" Wanda growled as she powered up a couple hexbolts. She then smirked evilly. "What's the probability that your circuits suddenly overload?" She pitched the hexbolts with perfect accuracy, hitting the Cybermen, and causing them to erupt with sparks and small explosions. "Looks like the chances of that are pretty good after all." Wand a smirked.

"We gotta get the others!" Todd groaned.

**Downtown Bayville**

Bayville was in a state of chaos. Cybermen were everywhere. The citizens of Bayville were running in fear. And the X-Men were fighting them off.

"Don't worry, Bayville! I'll save you!" Duncan Matthews yelled, charging towards a Cyberman wielding a lead pipe. He hit one in the head, but it only turned around.

"Delete." The Cyberman put its hand on Duncan's shoulder.

_**KA-ZAP!**_

The Cyberman zapped Duncan, making him look like a cartoon character, with frizzy hair, and covering him in a layer of soot.

"...Did you order that in original recipe or extra crispy?" A dazed Duncan mumbled before falling on his face, out cold.

"This is not good." The Kenyan weather-manipulator codenamed Storm frowned as she engaged in an aerial dogfight with a couple Cybermen that appeared to be specially modified for flight thanks to futuristic jet packs.

"Warning: Human is able to alter weather patterns. Explanation unknown." One Cyberman warned his comrades.

"I am a mutant, monster." Storm explained as she blasted one Cyberman in the jetpack with lightning, causing it to fall out of the sky. "That is all you need to know."

"What I'd like to know is what these...Cybermen things are." Cyclops frowned as he blasted several Cybermen with his optic blasts. "They're tough, that's for sure."

"Not to mention that they also appear to have an amazing numerical advantage." The Beast added as he flipped and dodged a couple of the Cybermen's energy blasts. "For every one we destroy, several more appear in its place."

"And it's just mah luck that my powers can't absorb their minds, bein' robots and all." Rogue grumbled as she threw a blown-off car window at one of the Cybermen, bouncing off the handlebar.

"You will be deleted." The Cyberman tried to blast Rogue with its energy beam, but Rogue squeaked and dodged the energy blast.

"You know, never mind." Rogue piped up. "All they talk about is deleting anyway."

_Oh God oh God oh God..._ Shadowcat mentally moaned as she raced through several Cybermen, shorting out their cybernetics. _This has totally ruined my day...I was going to go shopping with the girls and this 'Cybermen' garbage started. Stupid alien robots. No respect for the shoppers._

"Argh!" Magma screamed as she pitched several fireballs at a group of advancing Cybermen. "Come and try to 'delete' me, you metallic monsters!" One Cyberman fired an energy blast at the Nova Roman. However, Magma moved out of the way, unknowingly saving herself. The blast hit the ground behind her, causing the girl to fall to the ground, the shock causing her to change back into her regular human form. She looked up and saw the Cybermen pointing their glowing cannons at her.

"You will be deleted." The Cybermen intoned.

"Oh, no..." Magma moaned. She knew she couldn't get out of the way in time.

"Amara!" Boom-Boom screamed in horror, rushing to save her friend. However, Tabitha Smith would not be Magma's savior today. Magma heard a high-pitched whine. The Cybermen turned their heads in the direction of the whine. And before anyone knew it, a blue-and-silver streak raced through the Cybermen's line, and Amara Aquilla vanished. "Amara?" Tabby blinked. "Amara?!" The Nova Roman looked up and saw she was being gently held by a figure in blue-and-silver armor, with a silver helmet and blue wings. She gasped in shock.

"...Hermes?" She gasped. The figure looked down, revealing a metal faceplate and blue-tinted visor.

"Hermes, huh?" The figure chuckled warmly. "If I remember correctly, he was the messenger of the Roman Gods. Well, I'm not quite Hermes, ma'am."

"Was that...Quicksilver?" Tabitha blinked.

Well, well, well! Looks like the team-up will finally officially begin! What madness will happen next? Will the X-Men get along with Sonic Blue? What was Duncan thinking? Can they stop the Cybermen and save the day? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!

**(1) – Spencer is referring to the Fifth Doctor, portrayed by actor Peter Davidson. His trademark was a leek, the national plant of Wales, in his jacket. Spencer is also making a reference to _All Creatures Great and Small,_ An English TV show that Davidson is also known for.**

**(2) - The Cybermen here are based on the ones as they appeared in the 1980s _Doctor Who_ stories, especially _Earthshock._**

**(3) – A line from an episode of the new _Doctor Who_ series starring the Cybermen, "Rise of the Cybermen".**


	98. Speed of Sound, Part 4

**The Starr Chronicles**

**Disclaimer: "What's the matter? You haven't even finished destroying my car yet!" - Carl, _Aqua Teen Hunger Force_**

Chapter 98: Speed of Sound, Part 4

**Principal Kelly's House**

_Knock knock! Knock knock!_

"Ugh..." The hapless principal groaned. He was dressed in a black robe, covering a white vest and boxers. He slowly trudged down the stairs, grumbling. "Who's doing this? This is my time to sleep."

_Knock knock!_

"I'm coming, I'm coming." Kelly groaned, yawning. He rubbed his eyes and put on his glasses. "Hang on, don't leave." He opened the door. "Yeah, what do you want?" He found himself looking at a Cyberman. "Is this some kind of stupid prank, because I am not in the mood for this garbage."

"You will be deleted." The Cyberman intoned.

"Kid, this is not funny." Kelly grumbled. "It's Saturday, okay? And on Saturdays, I sleep in, because I don't get to on the weekdays. On the weekdays, I have to come in very early, and work in a place that is called Bayville High School, alright? The kids there drive me all nuts, and the teachers are insane, too! I haven't even gotten to take my medication yet. Now can you do me a favor and go away and go bother that Xavier guy or something?"

"You will be deleted." The Cyberman intoned again.

"Is this the Science Club with another one of those battle robots? I'll grade it on Monday." Kelly closed the door. "Jeez, I can't keep those kids out of that blasted lab-!"

_**KA-ZARK!**_

The door exploded, sending a screaming Kelly flying into the stairs.

"What in the-?" Kelly blinked. He flipped himself around. "What do you want?"

"You will be deleted." The Cyberman repeated, pointing his arm cannon at Kelly.

"Oh God oh God oh God..." Kelly whimpered, trying to scuttle up the stairs. "Lewis? Lewis? Is that you in there? Listen Lewis, if this was about that F you got in that assignment, I'm telling you, it's nothing against you! You just didn't do it well enough! YOU JUST DIDN'T DO IT WELL ENOUGH!!!" He screamed desperately, looking like he was about to cry.

"I am not Lewis. I am a Cyberman." The Cyberman told Kelly. "And you will be deleted." A couple more Cybermen walked in, alongside a third. This third Cyberman looked more menacing than the others, his armor carrying a silver cape, and black handlebars.

"Excellent..." The black handlebared Cyberman looked around. "This structure is on the perfect location to build the device." He turned to the Cybermen flanking him. "Proceed with construction at once."

"Affrimative, Cyber-Controller." The Cybermen replied. Kelly's screaming and running was heard from upstairs.

"HELP ME! SOMEBODY HELP ME! SOMEBODY CALL THE COPS! THE SCIENCE CLUB HAS GONE PSYCHO!"

**The local Wal-Mart**

"You will be deleted." A Cyberman fired an energy blast from his arm cannon.

"Yeow!" Paul Starr, the hypnosis and eye laser-packing young mutant codenamed Starhild, yelped as he dove behind a car. The energy blast hit the ground in front of the car, creating a small explosion. "Can somebody please tell me what is going on here?!"

"Yahhhhhhh!" Lance Alvers, the geokinetic mutant codenamed Avalanche, roared as he bulldozed his way through several Cybermen with his go-kart.

"Man, this sounds like something out of _Battlestar Galactica_ or something!" Paul exclaimed, firing his eye laser at the Cybermen. His laser was able to slice off some limbs and punch some dents and holes in their armor, but they kept on coming and blasting. "You can't stop these things!"

"At least you can use your powers on them!" Lance grumbled as he swerved his go-kart to avoid a blast from a Cyberman. "I can't use mine or I might bring the Wal-Mart down!"

"Can't you just focus your powers?" Paul blinked as he ducked behind another car. "Just try and knock a few of these things off their feet?"

"You will be deleted." The Cybermen intoned.

"Moving Earth isn't like firing your laser, Paul." Lance grunted. "I can't be that exact!"

"I'm sure you can if you try!" Paul explained. "Just focus on these robot things!"

"Paul, I get bad enough headaches from my powers! Focusing on them might make my brain explode!" Lance exclaimed. A laser blast hit Lance's go-kart, causing him to fall on his side. "Agh!" The geokinetic yelled as he hit the ground.

"Lance!" Paul exclaimed. Lance got to his feet and scowled.

"Alright, that's it." He concentrated on the Cybermen. "I'm gonna rock your worlds, you robo-freaks!" He started to make the ground shake. _Alright, Lance..._ The geokinetic thought. _Concentrate...focus on the robot guys...you want to wreck only the robot guys..._Lance found himself causing a crack to form in the ground underneath a few Cybermen, causing them to fall in it. "Yes!" Lance whooped. "Yeah! Take that, you robot freaks oww..." Lance clutched his head.

"You alright, Lance?" Paul ran up to him.

"I need Tylenol..." Lance moaned. "Paul, now you know why I have trouble focusing my powers like that..."

**Downtown Bayville**

The blue-and-silver streak raced up to the X-Men.

"...Quicksilver?" Scott blinked underneath his visor.

"Who?" The blur asked as it slid to a stop. The blur revealed the blue-and-silver-armored Sonic Blue. His helmet and armor shone, his mouthpiece opened up, revealing his chin and mouth, his brown ponytail fell over one shoulder, and he had Amara in his arms. "I believe this is yours." He smiled, putting Amara down.

"...Who are you?" Scott asked the teenage armored hero, who brushed his ponytail off his shoulder.

"Sonic Blue." Sonic Blue smiled, "tipping" his helmet. "And you must be Cyclops of the X-Men."

"How...?" Scott blinked.

"Kid Razor told me about you guys." Sonic Blue chuckled. He looked at Scott. "Funny, he told me that you had a face like a deformed pig after botched plastic surgery. His words." Scott scowled.

"Oh, he did, huh?" Scott crossed his arms. Sonic Blue chuckled and raised his hands in a defensive manner.

"Don't worry about it. I've learned long ago to take anything Razor says with a grain of salt. A big grain of salt." The Iron Speedster chuckled.

"You know Kid Razor?" An excited Jubilee asked. Sonic Blue nodded.

"Guy's my best friend." Sonic Blue nodded. Jubilee clapped her hands.

"I met Kid Razor in Cleveland!"

"Oh yeah, he told me about you." Sonic Blue smirked. "He couldn't stop talking about you. He said he'd love to meet you again." Jubilee squealed in delight. _Heh heh. I knew I'd find a way to get Razor back after that time he spray-painted my armor pink. God, it was the most embarrassing day of my life. He's going to **love** seeing her again._

"Why are you here, Sonic Blue?" Ororo inquired.

"Well ma'am, normally I operate in Cincinnati, Ohio. My home town." The blue-armored teenager explained. "When I heard that the Cybermen were here, I had to zip on down and help out. I've faced them before." A high-pitched beeping came from his visor. "Uh oh." He looked at the X-Men. "I think we had better get out of here. My scanners are detecting more Cybermen on their way."

"We can head off to the Xavier Institute." Ororo invited.

"Which direction is it at?" Sonic Blue inquired.

"Right down that way." Ororo pointed in the direction of the Institute. Sonic Blue nodded.

"Right! I'll see you there!" Sonic Blue zipped off in the direction Ororo pointed.

"Whoa!" Amara's jaw dropped as she saw Sonic Blue zip off, his armor generating the famous high-pitched whine it did when it moved at the speeds he ran at. "That armor must've been given to him by Mercury himself!"

"I don't think so." Scott shook his head. "That outfit looked technological."

"We really should go." Jean told Scott.

"Yeah." Logan nodded. "This Sonic Blue kid may know something about these...Cybermen. He said he's faced them before."

"I have told Charles that someone is coming to the Institute who knows about these Cybermen." Beast called from the cockpit of the X-Jet.

**The Xavier Institute**

Sonic Blue raced up to the front gates of the Xavier Institute. The Iron Speedster pressed a button on a console next to the gates.

"Uh...hello?" Sonic Blue greeted into the speaker. "Um, I'm here about the Cybermen invasion...I know about these Cybermen, and I can help you X-Guys out..."

"_Ah, yes._" Professor Xavier's voice called from the other end. "_The Beast called me and told me you would be coming. Come right on in._" The gates opened.

"Uh, thank you." Sonic Blue nodded. The blue-armored hero zipped into the Institute's grounds. He zipped into the Institute, where he met up with Professor Charles Xavier himself.

"You must be Sonic Blue." The bald telepath smiled warmly. "I am Professor Charles Xavier."

"Nice to meet you." Sonic Blue smiled, shaking the Professor's outstretched hand. "I heard about the Cybermen, and I came to give you guys a hand. I've faced them before."

"Who or what are the Cybermen, exactly?" A curious Xavier inquired.

"Well..." Sonic Blue removed his helmet and rubbed the back of his head. "They're cybernetic beings from another world."

"And based upon their actions, I doubt they are friendly." Xavier deduced with a frown.

"No, they are not." Sonic Blue frowned. "They're pretty much emotionless...except for smugness and aggression. They go from world to world, conquering planets and using their resources. And Earth is next on their list."

Well, well, well! Looks like the team-up is officially underway! What insanity will happen next? Will Kelly get away from the Cybermen? What are they up to? And what does Kelly's house have to do with it? Can the X-Men and Sonic Blue save the day? Where are the Brotherhood in all of this? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	99. Speed of Sound, Part 5

**The Starr Chronicles**

**Disclaimer: "Cool, man!" - Bart Simpson**

**Author's Note: In case you're confused by the description of Sonic Blue's armor I provided, Sonic Blue's armor is based on the Silver Centurion armor, the red-and-silver armor Iron Man wore in the 1980s comics. Just basically replace the red with blue. There's a reason for this...I liked the design.**

Chapter 99: Speed of Sound, Part 5

**The local supermarket**

"Hmmm..." John Allerdyce frowned. His brow was furrowed in concentration. The insane Australian pyrokinetic's fingers were scratching at his chin a his rather jumbled mind went over the pros and cons of each of his choices. This was one of the most important choices of his young life, and he was determined not to screw this one up. He looked at each item in each of his hands. "Which to choose..." John mumbled to himself. He manged to ignore the noise and chatter around him, even the store's PA.

"Attention, shoppers...There is a sale on turkey in the meat aisle..."

"Hmmm..." John frowned. "Which one?" He looked at the items again. "Barbecue chips...or regular chips. Barbecue or regular? Barbecue or regular? Barbecue or regular? Oooh!" He whined. "Why is life so hard?! Hey, wait a tic..." He looked at the price tags on the shelf, and he grinned. "Hey! At that price...I don't have to choose! I can get one of each! Hooray! Life is good!" The grinning John grabbed a bag of regular chips and a bag of barbecue-flavored chips and placed them in the cart. John and Pietro were grocery shopping. John's cart was full of treats: Chips, cookies, sodas, candy, and bacon. Meanwhile, as John was shopping, Pietro was all caught up on his own decision-making.

"Hmm..." The silver-haired speedster mumbled to himself as he looked up and down the aisle at the various shampoos. "Well..." He took a brown bottle. "This one is good for body..." He took a blue bottle, examining it. "But this one also protects against dandruff." He sighed dramatically. "Ah, decisions decisions...Ah well, I'll just take 'em both." Pietro threw them into his cart, which had some food and stuff, but was mostly filled with beauty products. He then looked at the list. "Okay, I got everything. I better get John and get out of here. Hopefully, that fire-loving idiot didn't wreck anything...like he wrecked my room..." His face darkened as he remembered that day. "Stupid razzum-frazzum fire-loving twit...just goes ahead and sets his precious fires wherever he pleases..." He started muttering as he pushed the cart out of the aisle. "Don't care in the least where he sets them or what damage he does..." He then heard noise. "What in the-?"

"AAAAAAH!" A feminine voice was heard screaming, followed by explosions and the sounds of marching metal feet.

"You will be deleted." A robotic voice intoned. Sounds of explosions and energy weapons firing were heard, causing Pietro to duck.

"What the-?!" He blinked.

"Hey, guv." John greeted as he slid towards Pietro. "I heard explosions and screaming. We should check it out! There could be fire!" The silver-haired speedster looked at the reddish-blond Australian like he was insane...which John was.

"Is fire all you think about, you idiot?" Pietro groaned. "DO you not hear the marching and the voices that sounds like Robby the Robot rip-offs?"

"You will be deleted." The cybernetic voices continue to intone. "You will be deleted. You will be deleted. You will be deleted."

"Deleted?" John blinked. "That don't sound good."

"No, it don't." Pietro shook his head. "Come on, John. We gotta find out what's going on here." The two carefully sneaked over to the deli of the supermarket. They peeked around a wall corner, and they saw Cybermen marching in. "Wha? What are those things?" John blinked.

"What're you, crazy? Those are evil robots, mate." John grinned. "They're kinda cool. Lookit that. They have handlebars on their heads. I wonder if they can be set on fire."

"I dunno. Why don't you walk up to them and ask them?" Pietro remarked sarcastically.

"Oh. Okay!" A grinning John started to do exactly that, making Pietro's jaw dropped.

"No, you moron!" Pietro pulled John back before the Cybermen could see him. He whacked John upside the head. "What were you thinking?!"

"You told me to ask 'em." John muttered, rubbing his head.

"Alright, what do we do here?" Pietro mumbled to himself. There's two of us, and a lot of those robot guy." John eyed a banana lying on the ground next to him. A customer must've dropped it in a panic. The inane Australian looked at the banana...and he gained a brainstorm.

"Hey, I got an idea." John grinned.

"Oh, that's a laugh." Pietro snorted. "What're you gonna do, John? A funny dance?"

"Nope." A grinning John picked up the banana. Pietro blinked.

"...what're you gonna do with that banana?"

"You'll see." John answered with a snicker.

"...are you sure you know what you're doing?" Pietro frowned.

"Yeah, trust me." John smirked. "We Australians are experts with curved weaponry." He placed the banana on the ground and slid it along the ground, spinning it for distance. The banana landed right in front of a Cyberman's foot. The Cyberman stepped on the banana, squishing the yellow fruit. "Wait for it..." John grinned. The Cyberman tried to go forward, but the malevolant alien cyborg ended up slipping and falling flat on its back.

"Alert! Unit is disabled! Require aid!" The Cyberman cried out. Pyro burst out laughing.

"Oh man, I wasn't sure that'd work, mate!" John grinned. "I was not sure, but now I can be! Man, that was great!" Pietro's jaw dropped. He glared at the laughing John.

"And what was _that_ about?!" He grumbled. John shrugged, manic grin on his face.

"I had no reason, to be honest with you." John laughed. "I just wasn't sure if that would even work! I just wanted to do it!" Pietro's jaw dropped.

"WHAT?!" The Cybermen turned in John and Pietro's direction.

"Humans will be deleted."

"I thought we were mutants." John blinked.

"Nice work, John. Nice work." Pietro moaned.

**The Xavier Institute**

The X-Men were gathered around in the Institute. They needed to create a strategy to deal with the Cybermen. However, they had to be quick. The Cybermen were still out there, wreaking havoc.

Sonic Blue, the heroic blue, silver, and black-armored speedster, fond himself talking to Amara Aquilla and Tabitha Smith, respectively Magma and Boom-Boom. Amara seemed to be fascinated by the armored hero. Something was bothering Tabitha about Sonic Blue, and she figured that as long as he was here, she could ask a couple questions.

"I recognized the helmet." Amara told Sonic Blue, pointing at his helmet. "It's like the one Mercury wears. Are you sure he did not give you that armor?"

"Nope. Built this with my own two hands." Spencer smiled. "And with a little help."

"Ah, then Mercury gave you the inspiration for it." She deduced. Spencer chuckled.

"Well, no." He explained. "When I'm not running around battling bad guys, I'm a track athlete. When I built the armor, I originally designed it to work with my talent for speed."

"You know, your armor looks familiar..." Tabitha frowned. She started to think. "Hey...yeah! Your armor look similar to armor that that guy from that Stark Enterprises company uses."

"Iron Man." Spencer nodded. "Yeah, I met Iron Man. He's Tony Stark's bodyguard and corporate mascot."

"They say only Stark himself knows who Iron Man is under that armor." Amara remembered. "Come to think of it...your armor looks a little like his."

"Well..." Spencer scratched the back of his head. "That's because this is my second suit of armor."

"What happened to your first?" Amara wondered.

"That's where the Stark connection comes in." Sonic Blue explained. "Iron Man and I were working together to defend the Cincinnati subsidiary of Stark Enterprises. They were working on a project. I don't remember exactly what it was, some kind of energy project. Anyway, a group of armored thieves called the Raiders tried to steal the project and destroy the building." His face darkened. "Iron Man was forced to work on defusing the bomb, and he had no choice but to let me face the Raiders alone." He sat down. "They fought like animals. My first suit of armor ended up coming this close to getting slagged."

"Oh, my God." Amara gasped.

'That's harsh." Tabitha winced.

"I ended up in the hospital for three weeks." Sonic Blue explained. "However, Iron Man's employer, Tony Stark, was very nice to me. He paid the hospital bills. And Iron Man convinced him to allow me to use his armor's technology to build a new, better suit. The one I'm wearing right now." Sonic Blue chuckled. "I based the design on an old armor Iron Man used to wear. The one he called 'The Silver Centurion'. I liked the design of it."

"Well, I have heard that Tony Stark is a very kind, generous man." Amara nodded.

"Yeah, he said I deserved it. That, and he told me I remind him of himself as a teenager." Spencer snickered. He saw Scott motion to him. "Excuse me, I have to go. But it was nice meeting you." The teenage speedster smiled and tipped his helmet politely.

"Wow." Tabby smiled. "You know, Pietro should take some tips from that guy." Spencer walked down to the meeting room where the adults, as well as Scott and Jean, were gathered.

"I suppose you want to know about the Cybermen." Spencer deduced.

"Know thy enemy..." Beast nodded.

"Well..." Spencer cleared his throat. "I faced them once before. Then, I had...a little help. A long story. Anyway, during that encounter, I managed to hack into one of the Cybermen's systems with some help. The Cybermen are cyborgs from a distant planet called Mondas. It was originally like Earth, but over time, the planet became uninhabitable due to the planet shifting in orbit. To survive, the people that would become Cybermen transformed themselves into what they are today."

"How..." Jean gasped.

"...They, to make it simple, placed their brains in robotic bodies and laced their nervous systems with computer chips. All inside tough exoskeletal shells."

"Now that's some real disturbing stuff right there." Wolverine whistled.

"Are you saying that we just blasted _living beings_ to pieces?" Scott's face paled.

"Those things aren't really alive." Spencer frowned. "The transformation is irreversible. They call it Cyber-Conversion. They're already dead. They just need to be buried."

"Goddess..." Ororo gasped. "But that doesn't explain why they're so warlike and aggressive."

"My guess is that the process made them go insane." Spencer shrugged.

"A society of lunatics. Wonderful." Logan grunted.

"Cybermen are not invincible, if that's any reassurance." Spencer tried to help.

"Yeah, my claws were able to cut them up." Logan nodded.

"Do they have any weaknesses?" Xavier inquired.

"Well, they do have one big weakness." Spencer nodded. He walked over to Jean, and showed the necklace she was wearing.

"My gold necklace?" Jean blinked.

"Exactly." Spencer smirked. "Gold. Gold is non-corrodible, and it chokes their systems up. However, you have to get gold inside their systems for it to work." However, before Spencer could explain any further about the Cybermen, Kitty burst in.

"Like, you guys! Like, I just got a call from the Toad! The other Brotherhood guys are missing! And the Cybermen are all over town!"

Well well well, looks like things are about to ramp up! Can the X-men save the Brotherhood? Are they willing to? Will Spencer get to finish his explanation about the Cybermen? What about Kelly's house? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	100. Speed of Sound, Part 6

**The Starr Chronicles**

**Disclaimer: "I'm gonna sleep in the _truck!_" - Casey Jones, _Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles_**

Chapter 100: Speed of Sound, Part 6

**Principal Kelly's House**

The home of Principal Kelly was undergoing a makeover. Not the kind of makeover found in all those cheesy reality shows, though. It was a more sinister type of transformation. Cybermen were working all over the house. The house was being hollowed out, and various consoles and controls were being placed and built. Any furniture that was in there was destroyed. In essence, the house was being transformed into a control center. And in the center of the house, what looked like a large boring drill was being built. It was pointed downwards.

"Cyber-Leader, the borer is almost complete." A Cyberman reported to the black handlebar-wearing Cyberman leader. The Cyber-Leader was standing out at the balcony above the front door of Kelly's house, observing the town.

"Excellent." The Cyber-Leader nodded. "Soon, the borer will make its way to the center of the Earth, and once it does, it shall explode, causing irreparable damage to the Earth."

"Query: Why must this planet be destroyed?" The Cyberman inquired.

"Our last invasion attempt was a failure due to the intervention of the Doctor." The Cyber-Leader remembered. "During that invasion, we entered all this planet's primitive 'Internet'. It was learned that this planet has driven off Galactus himself."

"The World-Eater?" If the Cyberman drone had emotions, he would have been shocked. "It is unlikely that this planet would have had an encounter with such a mighty being."

"Oh, yes. It has." The Cyber-Leader confirmed. "This planet is evolving."

"Evolving?" The Cyber-Leader repeated.

"Yes. Beings of great power have started to emerge on this planet." The Cyber-Leader explained. "Here in this location, our troops have faced beings who somehow have gained a myriad of various abilities beyond the human genetic norm. And it is not just this. On this planet, minds capable of seeing into the future, and making great leaps in science have also emerged. This planet has the potential to destroy us, and we must prevent that."

"Yes...by destroying the planet before they evolve far enough to destroy us." The Cyber-Leader nodded. "Our encounter with Sonic Blue has shown that humanity has the potential to become a mighty force in the universe. And we cannot allow that to happen...for the Cybermen's survival, Earth must die."

**The Xavier Institute**

"So, mutants, huh?" Spencer Burton blinked. He and the X-Men were getting ready to find the Brotherhood, and he found himself in conversation with Scott Summers. The two were sitting in the X-Jet, alongside several members of the X-Men.

"Yeah." Scott nodded. "Our genetic codes give us incredible powers."

"That's pretty neat." Spencer nodded.

"Unfortunately, some of us can't simply shut them off." Scott frowned. "Like myself. Or Rogue over there." Scott pointed with his thumb at the skunk-haired Goth. "My eyes fire concussive energy beams constantly. I have to wear a visor or special glasses made of this material called ruby quartz. Hers is even worse. She can't touch people with her bare skin. If she does, she automatically absorbs the victim's powers, memories, and knowledge."

"So, if she say, touched me, then she'd be able to use all of my knowledge." Spencer surmised, rubbing his chin.

"Yeah." Scott nodded. "It knocks the victim out, too."

"Well, at least you two still have your health." Spencer chuckled. "Still...haven't you two tried getting some technological aid for that? I could whip up something. And I know some other big-brained guys. I can see Reed Richards making you some special contact lenses or something. And as for Rogue over there, I can probably whip up something to help relieve her of her inability to receive tactile sensation."

"Perhaps." Scott nodded. "You know, I never expected you to have someone like Kid Razor as a friend." Scott noted. "The guy's an irritating jerk."

"Razor has that effect on people." Spencer nodded. "I've worked with him a lot. He's crazy, but he actually hasn't done a half-bad job of protecting Cleveland."

"That town is nuts, to be honest." Scott shook his head.

"Oh, I don't know. It's a nice place to visit." Spencer smiled.

**Bayville Mall**

In the food court of the Bayville Mall, one Fred Dukes, the powerful Texan mutant known as the Blob was engaging in one of his favorite hobbies: Eating.

"Mmmmm..." Fred smiled as he tied a napkin around his meaty neck. On the table in front of him was a veritable feast, full of various kinds of food. He had practically ordered food from every restaurant in the food court. "Man, look at this feast! Now where do I start, the fried chicken...or the sweet and sour pork..." A bystander went bug-eyed as he walked by.

"Whoa, boy! You gonna eat all that?" The man blinked.

"Uh..." Fred scratched the back of his neck. "Yeah. You think I eat big, you should see my family barbecues."

"AAHHHHHHH!" The man screamed as he ran away. Fred blinked at that.

"What a weirdo." He thought. He then noticed Craig Starr walk towards him. Craig was looking suspicious. His jacket was zipped up, and he was looking around a lot. The large Texan smiled and waved at him. "Oh, hey Craig!"

"Not so loud, you big dolt!" Craig grumbled as he took a seat across from Fred. His eyes widened as he noticed all the food on Fred's table. "You gonna eat all that?"

"Help yourself." Fred smiled.

"...thanks." Craig took some fries and started munching. "You seen any mall cops?"

"No, I haven't, why?" Fred blinked. Craig leaned over.

"I helped myself to a couple video games over at that electronics store." The dark-haired ex-gang member explained. Fred blinked.

"Uh, why?" The blond Mohawked mutant wondered.

"I ain't paying thirty bucks for a highly-rated video game, that's why." Craig grunted.

"It's that GTA game you wanted, right?" Fred remembered, nodding. "You said you enjoyed those games."

"I think they're well-made." The ex-gang member nodded his head. "I can't believe they made one set in the 1980s."

"I've seen Lance and Lila play that one." Fred smiled, chomping on a burger. "They love that one."

"Well, keep it down." Craig warned. "I don't want the cops to hear about my little five-finger discount." Meanwhile, as the two Brotherhood Boys were talking, one of the Brotherhood Babes was looking around in a local Hot Topic. Lila Cheney, the interstellar teleporter known as Starway, was checking out a rack of shirts.

"Hey, this one looks neat..." Lila smiled as she pulled out one sleeveless white shirt with a skull and crossbones on it. She already had several items of clothing hanging over her arm. "Hey, how much is this one?" She called out a girl standing behind the counter.

"14.99." She answered.

"Ah, I see." Lila nodded. "Okay." She hung the shirt on her arm. "Alright, I got me some neat new clothes." She walked up to the counter and placed them on it. "Okay, I'll pay for these."

"And how are you going to pay for them, ma'am?" The counter girl started ringing the clothes up.

"Put it on the gold card." Lila grinned, whipping out a golden credit card. The name 'Robert Edward Kelly' was on it.

"Okay." The girl nodded. An explosion and a rumbling was heard. "Ack! What the-?!"

"AIEEEEE! MONSTERS!" A scream was heard.

"What in the-?" Lila muttered to herself as she raced to the entrance and peeked outside. She gasped and her jaw dropped as she saw the scene. People were fleeing from a squad of robots. But they were not just robots. "Oh my God..."

"You will be deleted." The robots intoned in unison as they fired their arm-mounted energy cannons at the fleeing people.

"Cybermen..." Lila gasped. "My God...I heard they went to Earth once, but got driven back...I can't believe they've come back to Earth...I gotta find the guys." She looked at the counter girl. "Hang on to my stuff! Don't let it get wrecked!" She raced out of the store. "Fred told me that he'd be at the food court, and who knows where Craig got off to, so I better get to them and give them the scoop!" She raced to the food court, and she found Fred and Craig in the heat of battle.

"Nobody, and the Blob means, NOBODY, wrecks the Blob's buffet!" Fred Dukes roared as he smashed a Cyberman's head right off its neck with one mighty punch.

"RAAAAAAH!" Craig roared as he sliced several Cybermen's legs off with one sweep of his eye laser. He then took another seep with his laser and sent their heads flying off. "Yeah! Come on, ya cheap metalhead wannabes! You wanna piece of this?"

"You will be deleted." A Cyberman intoned as it pointed its arm cannon at Craig. The dark-haired mutant turned around.

"You talkin' to me?" Craig scowled.

"You will be deleted."

"If that means dead, then that's more your thing." Craig beheaded the Cyberman with his eye laser.

"Warning: Humans possess genetic abnormalities that somehow grant superior abilities." One Cyberman warned the other functioning Cybermen.

"You got that right!" Craig roared. "Here's yer genetic abnormality for ya!" The dark-haired mutant fired his laser beam at the Cyberman, taking its arm off. Craig and Fred raced out of the food court.

"Maybe those things are a new breed of mall cops!" Fred groaned.

"Somehow I doubt it, Fred." Craig sighed. A flash of light appeared in front of the two mutants. "Lila?!" The dark-haired ex-space thief grabbed the two boys and teleported them away before either one of them could object. The three mutants briefly appeared on Lila's little blue planet, before ending up on the roof of the Mall. "Lila, what was _that_ for?!"

"Guys, don't you know what those things were?!" Lila exclaimed.

"Uh...mall cops?" Fred scratched his head.

"They're not mall cops, you lunatic." Craig groaned.

"Got that right." Lila nodded. "They're Cybermen!"

"Cybermen?" Craig frowned, crossing his arms. "That sounds like something from an old English sci-fi show."

"What are Cybermen?" Fred blinked. "And why are they here?"

"To blow us all away, you dolt." Craig groaned.

"Cybermen are cybernetic lifeforms from another world." Lila explained. "They invade planets and use their resources. They have no compassion,and no mercy." She noticed the X-Jet fly towards the mall. "And it looks like the cavalry is arriving."

"Late as usual." Craig quipped.

Well, well, well! Looks like the fight will continue! Will any repercussions come from the talk between Sonic Blue and Cyclops? Will the Cybermen destroy Earth? Can our heroes save the day? Will I stop asking stupid questions? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	101. Speed of Sound, Part 7

**The Starr Chronicles**

**Disclaimer: "You know, I'm a voter! Aren't you...supposed to lie to me and kiss my butt?" - Bill Murray as Peter Venkman, _Ghostbusters II_**

Chapter 101: Speed of Sound, Part 7

**Cleveland, Ohio**

Kid Razor, the fearless teenage defender of Cleveland, was streaking through the skies of Cleveland.

"_Rockin' all night! Rockin' all night! Until the lightning strikes again..._" The Fearless One sang as he flew through the sky in an aura of rainbow-colored light.

"Hey Razor, how about saving those pipes until your next recording session, huh?" An otherworldly voice teased. The source faded into view. It was a tall, lanky translucent man with green eyes and long blond hair dressed in a silver jumpsuit with matching platform boots. The shoulders of the jumpsuit had blue and sea green epaulets, V-shaped blue-and-sea green lightning bolts on the chest. Painted on his face were blue and sea green thunderbolts under his eyes. In life, he was born Ronald James Entwistle, but the world knew him as Ronnie Rocker. **(1)** In the 1970s and 1980s, Ronnie Rocker became a musical legend in the glam rock scene, combining classical guitar training with rock influence and glam flash and style. His mortal life ended in what is thought to be a mysterious car accident in England in the early 1990s.

"Ah, you know the Kid of Rock, Ronnie. The Kid of Rock loves to sing." Razor grinned.

"Yeah, whatever." Ronnie shrugged. "Hey, what's that...?" Ronnie pointed at a helicopter. Razor frowned.

"I dunno." The Fearless One squinted as he tried to closely examine the helicopter. "Don't look like a police helicopter. Nor does it look like a news copter. I love news copters. Especially that one with that hot chick who does traffic reports in a bikini."

"Yeah, you are fond of strafing that one." Ronnie sighed. "You hit on her all the time."

"Ah, she loves it." Razor smirked. The side of the helicopter opened, revealing Nick Fury, holding a megaphone.

"Kid Razor!" He called through it.

"That's me!" Razor smirked. "You better make yourself scarce, Ron."

"Don't worry about it, Razor." Ronnie reassured. "I can choose who sees and hears me." Razor nodded, then flew up to the helicopter.

"Who are you, old man?" Razor scowled, crossing his arms.

"It don't matter, kiddo." Nick Fury answered. "From what I heard, you've been keeping an eye on Cleveland for a while now."

"Yeah, what's it to you, you one-eyed dork?" Razor grunted. "And make it quick before the Kid of Rock socks you and steals your girl."

"Kid, you wouldn't want ta fight me." Fury smirked. "I've eaten Nazis for breakfast. Anyway, I'm here to extend ya an offer."

"An offer?" Razor laughed. "That's a laugh. What kind of offer? You're standing here, appearing out of nowhere in a big black helicopter. Something tells the Kid of Rock that you have some shady government thing you need me for."

"Oh, this is great." Ronnie snickered. "Back in the 70s, the government tried to deport John Lennon, and now they need a rocker's help."

"There's this new team of heroes forming, Razor." Fury explained. "We could use your power, kid."

"Why should I?" Razor scowled. "The Kid of Rock don't do super-teams, jerkoff. Oh let me guess, I don't join, I get the John Lennon or the Alan Freed treatment, right?" Fury smirked.

"Kid, I think you'll like this team." He handed Razor a file folder. "What do you think?" A curious Razor took the file and opened it. His eyes widened and a big grin grew on his face.

"You mean, I could meet this?!" Razor grinned, holding up the picture in the file. It was of heiress and fashion designer Janet Van Dyne in a low-cut red carpet dress. Fury nodded.

"Yep."

"Alright, the Kid of Rock'll give it a shot." Razor smirked.

"Razor, you sure that's a good idea?" Ronnie blinked.

"Don't worry about it." Razor whispered back. "I got your back."

**Bayville**

The Canadian feral mutant known as Wolverine was helping navigate the X-Jet. He scratched the back of his neck and grumbled.

_I can't believe that I had to help that idiot Delgado again._ The feral mutant grumbled. _You know, as soon as I came back to the Helicarrier, I coulda sworn something stung me..._ However, Logan's problems would have to wait for another time. The X-Men were currently dealing with a crisis. A species of cyborgs known as Cybermen had invaded the X-Men's hometown of Bayville. Luckily, the X-Men had help. They found an ally in a Cincinnati-based superhero who had faced the Cybermen before.

Sonic Blue was deep in thought. The young armored hero, born Spencer Burton, frowned as he looked out the window. He put his elbow on the sill, and he held his chin.

_What are the Cybermen doing here again?_ The young genius puzzled over the question. _This is crazy! Me and that Doctor guy helped boot them off of Earth. Why could they be here again? And why Bayville? I can understand why they wouldn't want to start their invasion in Cincinnati again. And I highly doubt that they would want to start launching from New York City. Too many heroes there. And definitely not from Cleveland. If Kid Razor doesn't beat them out of Cleveland, he'll annoy them out. Nor from any of the cities where Local Heroes operate._ He looked at the X-Men. _These X-Men seem pretty secretive to me. They don't like attention. Perhaps that's why they decided to start from here. They didn't expect to encounter any super-powered resistance._

"Penny for your thoughts, as they say here?" A feminine voice asked the speedster. Spencer turned around and saw a smiling Amara standing in the aisle.

"Sure." Spencer smiled warmly. "Take a seat." The Nova Roman eagerly took the seat next to the blue-armored superhero.

"Psst! Psst!" Spencer heard Tabitha try to get his attention.

"Hmm?" The young hero looked up.

"You know, Amara's got a bit of a thing for you." The blonde energy bomb-maker whispered with a snicker. Spencer's cheeks turned red slightly.

"Tabby!" Amara lightly shoved her blonde friend back into her seat.

"Uh, heh heh..." A blushing Spencer chuckled nervously, scratching the back of his head.

"So anyway, were you thinking about something?" Amara inquired.

"Well..." Spencer scratched his head. "I was just thinking."

"About what?" Amara wondered.

"Well, I was thinking about why the Cybermen have returned." Spencer explained. "It's very odd."

"Why?" Amara blinked.

"Well, the Cybermen are like machines." Spencer explained. "Machines don't forget easily."

"I do not understand." Amara shook her head.

"Well, I helped boot the Cybermen right out of the planet." Spencer explained. "I'm trying to figure out why they returned."

"Perhaps they wished for a rematch with you." Amara joked with a chuckle. Spencer smiled.

"Maybe." Spencer smiled at Amara. _According to the Doctor, the Cybermen have pulled a lot of conquest schemes over the years._ "Although if they wanted a rematch with me so badly, why the heck did they come here to Bayville? Cincinnati is my hometown, my turf. Why come here to Bayville?"

"Maybe they didn't want you to see them coming." Amara suggested. "A smart, but rather cowardly move."

"Maybe..." Spencer blinked. "But I got a bad feeling in my gut."

"We're landing, everyone." Ororo announced.

**The Mall**

"RAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Fred Dukes roared, smashing two Cybermen together, and he grabbed a third, pitching it like a javelin. Unfortunately, in his rage, he didn't quite see that he pitched it towards Craig. However, the ex-gang member was easily able to see it. The dark-haired mutant's eyes widened.

"HOLY-!" Craig quickly fired his eye laser, cleaving the Cyberman in half. The two halves flew away from Craig, crashing into the wall behind him. "Geez, Fred! Watch where you're throwing!"

"And me without a laser cannon..." Lila grumbled as she smacked several Cybermen around with a pipe. It wasn't having much effect. She was too busy trying to dodge energy blasts from the Cybermen.

"You will be deleted, Earth woman." One of the Cybermen intoned, firing his energy weapon.

"I know of you cybernetic clowns." Lila growled. "I've spent a lot of my life in space."

"That is irrelevant." The Cyberman intoned. "You will be deleted."

"You're not invincible, you know." Lila smirked. "My friends are easily able to destroy you. And I know your biggest weakness. This planet has a lot of gold on it. And gold chokes your systems."

"One reason your planet must be deleted." The Cyberman explained.

"What?" Lila blinked.

"Your planet is becoming a dangerous threat to our surival." The Cyberman explained. "Your planet's population is gaining access to superhuman abilities, the rise of great intelligences like the heroes you call 'Mister Fantastic', 'Sonic Blue', and 'Iron Man'. And the planet's supply of gold. Your planet has the potential to cause the doom of the Cybermen. Therefore, the Cybermen shall delete your planet before that can happen." Lila's jaw dropped.

"I don't believe it." She mumbled. "You clowns are afraid. You're afraid of Earth. You tried to invade once, but you got your butts thrown back. It scared you!"

"Cybermen do not fear." The Cyberman seemed to growl. "Cybermen only act with logic."

"Bull!" Lila snapped. "You monsters aren't fully robotic! You have organic parts! And that means you can feel fear!"

"Cybermen do not fear." The Cyberman repeated. "Cybermen only act by logic. Logic dictates that the best way to neutralize a threat is to destroy it before it can become a threat."

"Yeah, right!" Lila scowled. "Alright, since you've been so helpful, how are you Cybermen going to delete our planet?"

"We found a location that would be ideal for placing our Cyber-Bomb."

_Cyber-Bomb..._ Lila mentally whispered in horror. _Oh, God...I've heard of those things. The Cybermen place them in a planet's core and detonate it. One of those things can blow a hole in the planet!_ "Where?"

"The coordinates are-!" However, the Cyberman didn't get to finish his sentence.

_**KA-ZARK!**_

The Cyberman was blown into two halves by an optic blast. Lila turned around and saw Scott, several of the X-Men, and Sonic Blue standing at the mall entrance.

"You idiots!" Lila snapped. "I was questioning it!"

"It's alright! Its head is intact!" Sonic Blue zipped up and picked up the Cyberman's head. "My armor's internal computers can hack into it and find out what we need to know."

"Who are you?" Lila blinked. She then shook her head. "Look, X-Folks! These Cybermen! They're here to delete Earth!"

"Delete?" Scott blinked.

"I don't like the sound of that..." Tabby winced.

"They're going to destroy the planet!" Lila exclaimed.

Well, well, well! Looks like the Cybermen's plans are revealed! What insanity will happen next? Can our heroes save the Earth? Will the Cybermen get trashed? What was up with Fury and Kid Razor? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!

**(1) – Ronnie Rocker's real last name, Entwistle, is a tribute to John Entwistle, the late bassist of the Who.**


	102. Speed of Sound, Part 8

**The Starr Chronicles**

**Disclaimer: "Bananas are good." - Christopher Eccleston as the Ninth Doctor, _Doctor Who_**

Chapter 102: Speed of Sound, Part 8

**Cleveland, Ohio**

Kid Razor flew through the air in his rainbow-colored energy field. He looked over at the helicopter flying next to him.

"This is weird..." Razor frowned to himself.

"Razor, I'm surprised...no wait, I'm not." Ronnie Rocker sighed as he appeared next to Razor.

"Hey Ronnie!" Razor grinned. "Ya see what we're going to be doing?"

"Razor, do you have any idea who these Avenger guys are?" Ronnie frowned. "For all we know, they could be aliens that lure superheroes to some secret base to experiment on them."

"Ronnie, you read too many comic books." Razor rolled his eyes. "The Kid of Rock highly doubts that. And if it did turn out like that...the Kid of Rock would whup 'em. Whup 'em good and whup 'em hard."

"...you really do like throwing caution to the wind, don't you?" Ronnie sighed. Razor shrugged.

"The Kid of Rock can take care of himself, Ronnie." Razor told the ghostly rocker. "Relax, man. Did you see that picture that old guy had of a certain millionaire designer?"

"Yeah, the Wasp." Ronnie nodded. "That's not exactly a secret. The woman never even wore a mask. Although she did wear that funky pointed helmet when she started out, heh heh." **(1)**

"Not to mention the costumes." Razor snickered. "That woman goes through outfits like they're underwear." **(2)**

"You should talk, Razor." Ronnie snickered.

"Whaddaya mean?" Razor blinked.

"Your outfit changes all the time." Ronnie reminded. "Look at it! That's not the outfit you wore when you met the X-Men!" Razor looked at his outfit. His tights were blue with black-and-white razor blades on them, and his boots were black with white-and-blue fringe on them. His wristcuffs were also blue with matching razor blades on them. His sleeveless leather jacket was also blue, with white-and-black zebra-print patches on the shoulders and the lapels.

"...So?" Razor blinked. "There's a big difference between the Kid of Rock and the Wasp."

"The Wasp isn't an egomaniacal musician?" Ronnie joked. Razor glared.

"You are lucky the Kid of Rock looks up to you, man."

"Yeah, yeah." Ronnie rolled his eyes.

"Anyway, before the Kid of Rock was so rudely interrupted..." Razor smirked. "The Kid of Rock's costume only really changes in color. Hers changes in color and design. One minute, she's wearing a singlet,the next minute, she's wearing a swimsuit! But then again, it never really matters. She's hot in any of those costumes she wears." Razor didn't notice that Nick Fury and a young agent watching him through the SHIELD helicopter's window.

"Who is he talking to?" Fury blinked.

"He is a little old for an imaginary friend, isn't he?" The young agent blinked. "You know, I have heard rumors that Kid Razor is a little bit crazy, sir."

"Hey, Razor. They're watching." Ronnie pointed at the window. "They probably think you're nuts. About time they realized that."

"Make yourself visible, Ronnie." Razor pinched the bridge of his nose. Fury and the young agent's jaws dropped as they saw Ronnie appear. The deceased rock legend grinned and waved at them.

"Oh. My. God..." Fury's jaw dropped. "Is that a ghost?"

"I think that's Ronnie Rocker, sir." The young agent gaped.

"Who?" Fury blinked.

"Ronnie Rocker, sir." The young agent repeated. "He's a musician. I love his music, sir. He's a rock legend. I hear his music on the classic rock station! He was big in the 70s and the 80s. But, sir..."

"What?" Fury blinked.

"...He died in a car accident in England over a decade ago." The young agent explained.

"...my God...what did I recruit?" Fury groaned.

**Bayville**

"Well, I have to give you X-Men credit..." Sonic Blue chuckled as he held up the Cyberman head. "You guys sure choose your moments." The other X-Men started to engage the Cybermen.

"Yeah, nice work, you boneheads!" Lila snapped. "I was interrogating that Cyberman!"

"Actually, it's not a complete loss." Spencer reassured. "The head's intact, remember? I can hack into it."

"Are you sure you can do that?" Amara blinked.

"Yeah. Their brains are organic, but they're also cybernetically enhanced. Which makes it possible to hack into them."

"Cy-ber-..." Amara shook her head, trying to understand what Spencer was saying. "I am afraid I am unfamiliar with cy-ber-netically."

"Cybernetic." Spencer repeated. "It means part-natural, part-mechanical." Spencer placed the Cyberman head on a bench. He then pulled out a plug and cord from one of the ear coverings that were part of his helmet. The plug looked a little like a suction cup with a key sticking out through the center. "Okay, let's see..." He moved the head around. "Where are you, you..." He noticed a small hole in the back of the Cyberman's head. "Eureka!" Spencer stuck the plug in the hole. "Ha! Let's do some hacking!" He waved his hand, and like magic, a floating blue keyboard which seemed to be made of light appeared. He started typing on the keyboard, several displays appearing on the HUD in his visor. Amara and Tabitha were watching this with fascination. Amara especially was enthralled.

"Look at that, Tabitha." Amara whispered. "It is almost like magic."

"It's not that funky lightshow you're interested in." Tabitha snickered. Amara's cheeks reddened.

"Tabby!" Amara lightly shoved Tabby.

"What is he doing?" Scott stared at Sonic Blue curiously.

"He said something about hacking the Cyberman's head." Tabby explained.

"He's trying to get information from the Cyberman's head." Lila grumbled. "Which is what I _was_ doing before General Goggles here gave new meaning to the phrase 'blow one's head off'!"

"We thought you were being attacked by them!" Scott defended himself.

"Yeah! He was talking me to death!" Lila snapped.

"Hey, hey! Back off!" Craig Starr separated the two. He then noticed Sonic Blue sitting on the bench typing. "Hey, what's with the Iron Man ripoff over there?"

"That's Sonic Blue!" Amara grinned. "He's a superhero! He's come to help us!" Craig blinked.

"Huh?"

"Sonic Blue is a superhero from Cincinnati, Ohio." Scott explained. "He's faced the Cybermen before. When he learned they were here, he came over to give us a hand."

"Eureka!" Spencer whooped in delight. "I found it! I'm in! I know why they're here!"

"Yeah, they're here to delete the planet! That's why they're here! I kept trying to tell you this!" Lila groaned.

"Delete the planet. That isn't good." Scott frowned, shaking his head.

"Ya think?" Lila groaned.

"Do you know _how_ they plan to delete the planet?" Spencer asked Lila like he knew something.

"...Well, no." Lila admitted, rubbing the back of her head.

"Luckily, these Cybermen are like the Borg on _Star Trek_." Spencer smirked. "They're all linked to their Cyber-Leader remotely, which allows them to transmit and process information really quickly."

"Is that good?" Amara blinked.

"For us, it is." Spencer nodded. "This whole invasion was a feint, just in case they'd encounter any superpowered resistance here. They're planning to drill something into the Earth's center. Something called a Cyber-Bomb." Lila's face paled at the words 'Cyber-Bomb'.

"Cyber-Bomb..." She stammered.

"Lila, you okay?" Craig blinked.

"What's a Cyber-Bomb?" Scott blinked.

"Oh my God..." Lila mumbled.

"I take it it's bad." Spencer deduced.

"Oh yeah." Lila nodded. "A Cyber-Bomb is the Cybermen's ultimate weapon. It's rarely used. And for good reason."

"It's a dangerous weapon, then." Craig realized.

"Craig, they call it the Planet-Killer." Lila explained. "They joke in space that a Cyber-Bomb is a weaponized Galactus. They drill the bomb into the center of a planet, and once it reaches a planet, it detonates. It makes the atomic bomb look like a firecracker." Her face darkened. "If we're lucky, the Cyber-Bomb will just blow the planet to bits and we'll all die quickly. If not, Earth will get a huge chunk blown out of it, and it'll be knocked out of orbit. It's happened to a few planets. Let's just say you'll never meet the people of Theros XII thanks to a Cyber-Bomb."

"My God..." Scott's jaw dropped in horror.

"Actually, you wouldn't have liked Theros XII." Lila shook her head. "They caught sight of you there...you'd be lunch. They ate people there."

"Gods, we must stop it." Amara gasped.

"Oh, yeah." Spencer nodded.

"One problem, genius." Lila sighed. "Thanks to the X-Men, I don't know where the bomb is."

"Luckily, I have more good news." Spencer smiled, holding up the Cyberman's head. "The Cybermen are so arrogant, they didn't think we Earthlings would bother to try to hack into them to find out their plan. I know where the bomb is."

"Where is it?" Lila inquired. Spencer shook his head.

"You would not believe it."

Well, well, well! Looks like the madness will continue! What insanity will happen next? Where is the Cyber-Bomb? Can our heroes stop it? And will Duncan ever wake up from that shock he got? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!

**(1) – Read Avengers #1 by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby. They are awesome.**

**(2) – Janet Van Dyne/The Wasp is known for constantly changing her costume.**


	103. Speed of Sound, Part 9

**The Starr Chronicles**

**Disclaimer: "Have you ever played T-Ball in a rat suit?" - Lester the Rat, _Beakman's World_**

Chapter 103: Speed of Sound, Part 9

**New York City**

"Are we there yet? We've been flying for _houuuuuurs!_" Razor mock whined.

"Razor, relax. We'll get there soon." Ronnie reassured. "Just keep following the big black helicopter."

"Come on, man!" Razor groaned. "The Kid of Rock is getting bored, and he is hungry! We should've used the blasted Warper Spence made for us! Save us a few blasted hours!"

"Razor, we don't have a clue where this guy is headed!" Ronnie sighed. "The Warper would've only helped if that Fury guy told us where we were going."

"Yeah...you know, the Kid of Rock never thought he could fly cross-country." Razor smirked.

"Uh, you didn't." Ronnie frowned. "Half the time, you hung on to the helicopter's tail with your mystical mike stand." Razor, beside a magical guitar, also occasionally wielded a magical mike stand, decorated like one of Steven Tyler of Aerosmith's mike stands, complete with long ribbons. Razor's mike stand was often stored in the dimension inhabited by the Power of Rock that Razor's guitar accessed. Razor shrugged. **(1)**

"Details, details..." He waved it off. "Man, the Kid of Rock could go for a pizza...when in the name of everything good and metal are we going to land? And is it going to be near a McDonalds?" Meanwhile, inside the chopper, Nick Fury and the younger agent were still in shock.

"Teeenage superheroes been given guidance by the ghosts of rock musicians." Fury grumbled. "Now I've heard everything. What next? We find out the Fantastic Four occasionally meet the ghost of John Lennon?"

"It wouldn't surprise me, sir." The younger agent snickered. "I've heard a lot of rumors about weird things going on in the Baxter Building."

"That's Richards for ya." Fury nodded. "You know, they want to declare the man a National Treasure."

"Well, I heard the guy regularly re-writes Einstein and Hawking." The younger agent nodded. "In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if he invented a real-life lightsaber."

"Lightsaber?" Fury blinked.

"Yeah, you know." The younger agent grinned. "Like in Star Wars, you know? The light swords the Jedi uses. I would pay good money for one of those."

"An overgrown kiddie toy? You can get one of those in Wal-Mart." Fury snorted.

"No sir, not like the ones in Star Wars." The younger agent grinned. "In the movies, those things can cut metal, cut plastic...heck, quite a few characters lost hands thanks to them!" He looked out the window and saw a flying Kid Razor and Ronnie Rocker. "Man, I never thought I'd meet Ronnie Rocker! That is awesome! I love his music!"

"When did he die exactly?" Fury frowned. The younger agent's face formed a frown.

"Funny enough, he died at some time in the early nineties." The young agent remembered. "The man was known for his glam-rock stylings. Grunge was rising at that time. He went with the music he was most famous for."

"How?" Fury frowned. Ronnie floated up to the helicopter and overheard.

"Well, as far as I know, he died in a mysterious car accident in England." The young agent remembered. "It was the craziest thing. A lot of mystery surrounded that accident." Ronnie scowled.

_Accident, my guitar-plucking eye!_ Ronnie scowled. _I didn't die in an accident! A certain witch caused my car to veer off the road!_ Fury looked over at Ronnie.

"What do you want?" He grunted. Ronnie grinned and sent his head through the door.

"I like to meet my fans. Always have." Fury looked down through the helicopter's side window.

"Tell yer idiot friend we're landing." He ordered. Ronnie nodded and flew to Razor.

"We're landing!" He announced.

"_Finally!_" Razor groaned. "Where?" Ronnie pointed at the SHIELD helicopter as it started to head downwards. Razor blinked.

"THERE?!" Razor pointed at a red-brick mansion. It looked very old, but well-cared for.

"Yup." Ronnie nodded.

**Downtown Bayville**

"Ohhhh..." Duncan Matthews moaned as he slowly got up, rubbing his head. "What happened? Where am I?" He looked around at the destroyed Cybermen. "Hey...what's going on here?" He carefully tred around the bodies of the destroyed Cybermen. "Hello...Hello? Anyone here? Yoo-hoo...Ollie ollie oxen free...Hello...?"

"Delete..." A weak voice intoned. "D-D-D-Delete-lete-lete-lete..."

"What?" Duncan blinked, turning around.

"Deeeee-lete...D-D-D-D..." The electronic voice stammered. It came from a badly-damaged Cyberman. The creature had sparks flying from exposed wires in its joints. The Cyberman's normally bright shiny silver armor was dented and dinged, and even was slashed open in places. The Cyberman's head was crooked. It tried to point its malfunctioning and sparking arm cannon at the hapless jock.

"Uh oh..." Duncan gulped.

"De-lete...De-de-de-lete-lete-leeeeete..." The Cyberman stammered. The arm cannon started to glow.

"Oh God!" Duncan whimpered, falling to his knees. "Please don't kill me! I beg you, please don't kill me! I promise I'll never kick another electrical deviiiiiiice!"

_**KA-BOOM!**_

The Cyberman exploded, causing his head to fly into the air.

"Huh?" Duncan looked up at the flying head. With a whistle, the head started to fall...and it landed on Duncan's head, making him look like he had a Cyberman's head. "...MMMMMMM!" Duncan quickly grabbed the head by the handlebars and tried to pull the head off. Muffled screaming, yelling, and cursing could be heard as Duncan struggled.

**Principal Kelly's House**

"Oh God..." Principal Kelly whimpered as he looked out at his house from his hiding place. He was hiding in a tree nearby. He looked at his house. "My house...look at what those freaks did to my hooooouse..." Kelly's house looked radically different. Metal panels and pipes covered parts of the house. A large hole was placed through the center of the house. Mounted on the roof were circular rails containing a huge silver futuristic cylinder, about the size of an SUV, adorned with lights. Mounted in the downward-pointing end of the cylinder was a large silver drill.Guarding the house were groups of Cybermen. "What is going on here..." He heard a creaking. "Huh?" He looked down, and noticed that the branch he was once was starting to droop. "Oh no!"

_Crack!_

The branch snapped.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Kelly fell down to the ground, landing with a grunt...and the fact that he was still straddling the branch. "Ooh, I'll feel that one in the morning..." He moaned in a soprano voice. Another snap was heard.

_**Clunk!**_

A heavy branch fell off the tree and conked Kelly on the head, knocking him out with an "Oof!" Meanwhile, the Cyber-Leader had walked out into the balcony.

"Soon, this pathetic planet will be deleted." The Cyber-Leader clenched his fist. "And it's potential to exterminate the Cyber-Empire shall be deleted as well. A Cyberman walked towards him.

"Cyber-Leader. We are detecting a flying vehicle heading towards our location. And on the ground, we have detected the energy signature of the armor of Sonic Blue. It is also heading in this direction." The Cyberman reported. The Cyber-Leader nodded.

"So, Sonic Blue has come to try and stop us again. And he has picked up new allies." The Cyber-Leader nodded. "Is any of them the Doctor?"

"Negative." The Cyberman answered. The Cyber-Leader nodded again.

"Let them come. Sonic Blue was only able to stop us with help from the Doctor. Without him, he and any allies he obtains will not be able to stop us." The X-Jet raced to Kelly's house.

"I can't believe it." Jean shook her head. "Principal Kelly's house. The Cybermen have their bomb in Principal Kelly's house."

"Man, I bet Kelly is ticked." Ray snickered.

"Knowing him, he's probably running around, screaming like a lunatic. Or he may think it's a project by the Science Club gone horribly wrong." Roberto added.

"I _wish_ it was a Science Club experiment gone horribly wrong." Jean sighed.

"Aren't you _in_ the Science Club?" Rogue frowned.

"Yeah, why?" Jean blinked.

"Just saying." Rogue shrugged.

"There are some wannabe mad scientists in that club." Jean sighed. "Especially that Lewis guy."

"Wasn't he the guy who threw a brick through the window of Kelly's office?" Rogue remembered.

"Yeah. He got an F on one project." Jean remembered. "Lewis was furious. He claimed that Kelly was ignorant of his vision, and he's had a bit of a mad-on with the principal ever since."

"Lewis can be a real genius, but his arrogance and high sense of self-importance make him very difficult." The Beast remembered.

"Huh?" Kurt blinked. "What was zat?"

"He means Lewis has a major ego problem." Scott sighed. "We all have a Lewis story."

"Tell me about it." Rogue groaned. "He vowed vengeance on me because Ah wouldn't go out with him..."

**The Bayville High School Cafeteria, one week earlier**

A skinny kid, around sixteen, sat at one of the benches in the cafeteria. He was dressed in a black Darth Vader t-shirt and blue jeans, with red sneakers. He had longish brown hair, red glasses, and bushy eyebrows. He was eating a sandwich. He also happened to notice Rogue walk by, carrying a brown lunch bag and a bottle of soda.

"Ah, hello Rogue." He greeted.

"Hi Lewis." Rogue sighed.

"Would you like to go out with me tonight?"

"Uh, sorry Lewis, Ah can't." Rogue shook her head. "Ah have things to do." He glared at her and got up from his seat. He pointed at her in a dramatic manner.

"I shall have my vengeance, woman!" Lewis declared. "You shall pay for rejecting me!" Lewis swished an imaginary cape and walked away quickly in a hunched-over manner. All Rogue could do was watch, completely dumbstruck.

"...What was that?" The Southern girl blinked. She then shook her head. "That guy's watched way too much _Star Wars._"

"No more drugs for that man." One student muttered. **(2)**

_**Well, well, well! Looks like the big meeting is about to happen! What surprises will be in store for our heroes? Can they save the day? And what the heck is up with Lewis? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!**_

**(1) – Contrary to popular belief, Kid Razor's guitar isn't a _generator_ of the Power of Rock. The Power of Rock can be _accessed _by the guitar. The Power of Rock itself is in another dimension, which Razor can use to store items. He's stored everything there from his mystical mike stand to ham sandwiches!**

**(2) – A reference to the movie _Face/Off_**


	104. Speed of Sound, Part 10

**The Starr Chronicles**

**Disclaimer: "This is a chicken farm." "And we're the chickens."**

Chapter 104: Speed of Sound, Part 10

**Los Angeles, California**

A club in Los Angeles. It was one of those clubs where teenagers and college kids hung out. Standing on the stage was one Ace Starr. The young feral was singing his heart out. He was dressed in an Iron Maiden t-shirt and a pair of acid-washed blue jeans. His hands were covered by dark blue fingerless gloves and his wrists were covered with various colorful bracelets and bands. His clawed fingers were painted bright blue, his left eye had blue eyeliner around it, and his right had silver, to contrast with the 8-pointed star-shaped birthmark on his face.

"_It was like lightning, everybody was frightening..._" Ace sang into the microphone. He was on stage singing with his bandmates, the Ballroom Blitzers. The Blitzers comprised of Ace and four of his friends from school. The band did original songs, but they also did covers of 1970s and 80s rock classics. They would perform at this particular club on weekends. Kids sitting at the tables whooped, tapped their feet, and some even started dancing. _Heh. I love this stuff._ The young feral snickered to himself. The band finished the song, and the audience whooped in delight. Ace embraced his bandmates and bowed with them on stage.

"Great work, you guys!" Ace grinned.

"Hey, no problem, Aceman." A brown-haired pony-tailed teenage boy grinned, dressed in a silver jumpsuit with golden platform boots, and lightning up and down the jumpsuit. His eyes were painted with silver eyeliner. His name was Eddie Ulrich. He was the keyboard player of the Blitzers, and like the others, he was an old friend of Ace's.

"Man, we sure rocked the house, didn't we?" Ace grinned.

"What can I say?" Eddie shrugged with a smile. "We're the greatest."

"You know, I'm in the mood to go get a soda. Wanna come?" Ace asked.

"Sure thing, pal." Eddie nodded. The two boys jumped down from the stage and went towards a table. Eddie then noticed something. "Hey, who is that?" Eddie pointed at a girl sitting at a table. Ace looked over at her. She smiled and waved over at Ace, shooting him a flirtatious wink.

"Dude, it's that chick I told you about." Ace grinned. The feral mutant easily recognized the girl as one Monet St. Croix.

"Your descriptions fail to do her justice, man. Wow." An impressed Eddie whistled. "Where'd you say she was from?"

"Monaco." Ace remembered. "She has that rich air about her. She grew up in money and car races...hey, that sounds like a song."

"You told me you had written a song about her." Eddie remembered. "What was it called?"

"Monaco Nights." Ace nodded. "I hope to play it tonight. Only appropriate the inspiration be here." The feral smirked.

**Bayville**

"Mmmmm! Mmmmmm!" Duncan Matthews muttered, cursed, and grumbled as he wandered around a street, trying to yank the Cyberman head off. _Stupid thing! Why won't it come off?! Is there superglue on it or something?!_ Meanwhile, a group of Bayville High students had been patrolling the town for any Cybermen, wielding various weapons like a lead pipe, two-by-four boards, and baseball bats

"Alright, fellas." The leader of the students, a jock, turned to his fellow students. "We find any Cybermen, we beat 'em senseless. You got it?" The students nodded. However, a nerd in the group raised his hand.

"But what if these things don't stop 'em? They're made of metal, you know." The nerdy boy noted.

"Shut up, nerd. No one cares what you think." The jock snorted.

"I'm just saying." The nerd argued.

"Pal, I will beat you will my baseball bat." The jock threatened. The nerd scowled, and pulled out a two-by-four wrapped in barbed wire from the big holster on his back. He pointed it at the jock.

"You try it, and you'll eat pointy wire." He said simply. The jock blinked.

"Okay, okay. Let's let bygones be bygones." The jock backed down.

"Where'd you get that?" A girl blinked at the nerd. The nerd shrugged.

"My uncle." The nerd answered. "Don't worry. My uncle taught me how to use these things safely. He's a big safety nut."

"Who's your dad?" The girl blinked.

"...Mick Foley." The nerd answered it. The girl's jaw dropped. "What?"

"Hey, look!" Another jock pointed at the struggling Duncan. "It's one of those Cybermen!"

"...why is he wearing clothes?" The girl blinked.

"He's trying to disguise himself!" The nerd exclaimed.

"Let's get 'im!" The lead jock ordered loudly. With a battle cry, and raising their various weapons in the air, the students charged Duncan. The blond football player reacted with horror.

"MMMM! MM MMM!" His muffled screams rang out as he tried to wave at them to stop. But he couldn't. The students knocked him to the ground, and started kicking him and beating him.

**Kelly's House**

The Cyber-Leader stood on the balcony of Principal Kelly's house, watching the X-Jet land on the front lawn. A second later, a blue streak caught up with the jet, revealing itself to be Sonic Blue.

"Ah, Sonic Blue. It is good to see you again." The Cyber-Leader greeted.

"Believe me, pal. The feeling is not mutual." Spencer scowled. The X-Men emerged from the jet.

"You are not welcome on our world." Storm told the Cybermen in a booming voice as she rose up into the sky, a fog starting to form over the area.

"You heard the lady, you buckets of bolts." Spencer agreed. "You can pack up and leave now, or we'll boot you off the planet again!"

"I doubt you can." The Cyber-Leader laughed. "Last time, you needed the Doctor to aid you."

"The Doctor?" Amara blinked at Spencer.

"Long story." Spencer told her curtly.

"Doctor who?" Amara blinked.

"Just 'the Doctor'." Spencer explained. "Again, long story. I'll explain later." **(1)**

"We can take you Cyber-Clowns ourselves!" Ray yelled, his fists starting to spark up.

"Yeah, what he said!" Jubilee agreed.

"Your first mistake was coming here to drop your Cyber-Bomb!" Scott yelled, pointing at the . "We know about the bomb, and what it can do!"

"That doesn't matter." The Cyber-Leader scoffed. "You cannot stop it."

"Oh yeah?" Amara yelled. "All we have to do is get inside the house and shut off the bomb!"

"Or blow it up before it blows _us_ up." Tabitha smirked.

"I doubt you will be able to stop the Cyber-Bomb." The Cyber-Leader remarked. A vrooming was heard from his feet. The Cyber-Leader took to the air, thanks to jets in his feet. The evil alien robot then landed in the front pathway of Kelly's house.

"This robot is obviously out of his mind." Amara frowned. "Does he really believe that he can beat us? On his own?" A beeping noise was heard from Sonic Blue's armor. "...Sonic Blue?" Spencer quickly put his hand to the side of his visor.

"What is it?" Scott asked. The armored teen's jaw dropped.

"Oh, no..." He murmured. "The Cyber-Bomb! It's activating!" The bomb mounted on top of the house started to activate. The lights on the side of the bomb started to light. A whirring noise increased in volume. And the drill on the end of it was starting to spin. The bomb itself was starting to slowly descend the rails that were holding it up.

"Goddess..." Ororo gasped.

"Grrrrr..." Logan snarled. His claws were unleashed with their trademark _Snikt!_

"That bomb is not going to detonate!" Scott yelled, firing his optic beams. The flat pink beam raced towards the Cyber-Leader. The evil alien cyborg just stood still.

"Do it, Cyclops!" Amara yelled in encouragement. "Wipe that miserable metallic creature off the face of the Earth!" However, if the Cyber-Leader's face could show emotion, he'd smirk.

"Foolish organic." The Cyber-Leader scoffed. A light blue aura appeared around him. The pink optic beam crashed into the aura, making a _**THOOM**_ noise. The pink beam broke up into several smaller beams, getting "shattered" thanks to its inability to penetrate the aura.

"What?!" Scott cut the beam.

"It didn't even scratch him!" Jean's jaw dropped.

"He's got a forcefield." Sonic Blue scowled. "He's gotten improved since I fought him."

"Maybe we can overload it!" Scott suggested. "Everyone! If you can, fire your powers at it!" The team of X-Men and Sonic Blue fired all at once. Scott's optic beams, Amara's lava flows, Tabitha's time bombs, Jubilee's fireworks, Bobby's ice beams, Ray and Storm's lightning bolts, and Sonic Blue's sonic beams all smashed into the Cyber-Leader's force-field. However, it didn't work. The combined assault didn't even scratch the field. "Forget it!"

"We must out-think him." Beast suggested.

"Why bother? We can't even scratch him." Scott grumbled. **(2)**

_How? _Spencer gasped. _How could he have gained a forcefield that powerful? Iron Man's energy deflector shields would have trouble standing up to that kind of assault for very long! To maintain a forcefield that powerful, he would need a lot of energy. His personal power supply shouldn't have that much power..._

"That is not all, human." The Cyber-Leader told the heroes. "This fortress, rebuilt from one of your primitive human domicile, will make it extremely difficult for you humans to stop the Cyber-Bomb. I suggest you make peace with whatever supernatural beings your kind invest their faith in."

"You underestimated Earth once before, Cyber-Leader." Spencer growled. "And it cost you. I would think you had learned from that defeat."

"Oh,but I have." The Cyber-Leader pointed his fists at the heroes. They started to glow. "I have learned much."

_**KA-ZAP!**_

_**Well, looks like our heroes are in a pickle now? Can our heroes save the day? Will the Cybermen be beaten? Will Duncan get out of his situation? And what's up in LA? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!**_

**(1) – A bit of a joke regarding the Doctor. The show is called "Doctor Who". The character himself , in all incarnations, is known simply as "The Doctor", except for the Peter Cushing movie. Some characters, when hearing that for the first time, would wonder, "Doctor...who?"**

**(2) – Beast and Cyclops said that about Apocalypse in the 90s cartoon. **


	105. Speed of Sound, Part 11

**The Starr Chronicles**

**Disclaimer: "Hey, could you two close the dam door?" - Bart Simpson**

Chapter 105: Speed of Sound, Part 11

**The Xavier Institute**

"Man...this bites..." Jamie Madrox grumbled as he walked along a hallway inside the Xavier Institute. "You're too young, Jamie. Fighting Cybermen is dangerous, Jamie." He mocked. "Ha! They wouldn't say that if I kicked the butt of a Cyberman all by myself. They'd beg me to let them come along...Hello..." The young clone-maker noticed a closet. "What's in here?"

"Hello, James." A voice greeted. "What're you up to?" Jamie turned around and saw Professor Xavier.

"Oh, hey Mr. McCoy." Jamie greeted. "Hey, how come you're here? I thought you'd be out with the other X-Men and that Sonic Blue guy fighting the Cybermen."

"I thought I'd stay behind. Someone has to keep an eye on you, Mr. Madrox." Xavier explained.

"...Yeah..." Jamie blinked. "Anyway, what's in this closet?" The professor frowned and scratched his blue-furred chin.

"Hmmm...to be honest...I haven't an idea." Xavier answered. "I suppose we should take a look."

"Okay." Jamie opened up and looked inside. He then pulled out an object from the closet: A ballet dancer's tutu. "What in the-?" Xavier shrugged.

"Search me." He said. Jamie threw it aside. The young mutant then reached in and pulled out a leopard-skin rug. "Whose is that?"

"I do not know." Jamie shrugged and threw it aside. A flock of chickens raced out, clucking. "What in the-?!"

"Oh, my goodness." Xavier blinked.

"Stupid Guthrie, having to take his chickens..." Jamie grumbled. He then pulled out a videotape. "Huh?" He read the label. "The President Gets Funky." He looked at Xavier. "I wanna see this, man. This sounds hilarious."

"I'll see if I can find a VCR later." Xavier agreed with a nod.

"Good luck with that. Everything's on DVD these days." Jamie joked.

"I personally hope this DVD thing does not go the way of Betamax." The bald telepath frowned. **(1)**

"...What's a Betamax?" Jamie blinked. Professor Xavier chuckled.

"Before your time, James."

**Downtown Bayville**

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" A muffled Duncan screamed as he ran down the street. His Cyberman helmet was dented, and his clothes were tattered. Bruises and welts covered his body, and he had some blood on him. "HELLLLLLLP ME! HEEEEEEEELP MEEEEEEE!"

"There he is!" The lead jock yelled. "Let's get that cyberfreak!" The students that were beating Duncan earlier took chase after him.

"I'm not a Cyberman! I'm a human being!" Duncan yelled loudly. But his voice was muffled by the helmet. "Why won't you listen to me?!"

"Come back here, you Lieutenant Data knockoff!" The nerd yelled, waving is barbed wire-covered 2x4. It had some blood and pieces of Duncan's jacket on it. "Come on!"

"Why God why?" Duncan whimpered. He turned his head so he could see what was ahead of him. However, he turned too late.

_**KLUNK!**_

Duncan ran into a street pole face first. With a grunt, he fell to the ground. It gave the chasing students the opportunity to catch up to him. When they did, they started to lay another royal beatdown on him.

**In front of Principal Kelly's house**

"Ohhh..." Principal Kelly started to wake up.

_SNAP!_

A branch snapped from the tree he fell from.

_CLUNK!_

"Oof!" Kelly fell back into unconciousness.

The X-Men were in their greatest battle yet. The young mutant heroes were fighting off an invasion of evil cyborgs known as the Cybermen, mechanical monsters from a distant world. The Cybermen had come to destroy Earth with a doomsday weapon known as a Cyber-Bomb.

Luckily, the X-Men weren't fighting the Cybermen alone. A young superhero known as Sonic Blue, a blue armor-wearing teenage genius from Cincinnati, had come to aid the X-Men. He had fought the Cybermen before, and he wanted to give the X-Men aid in their hour of need. The heroes had gathered in front of the home of Bayville High's principal, Senator Robert Kelly.

The Cybermen had converted the principal's home into a fortress. The fortress was also where the Cybermen were deploying their Cyber-Bomb. The Cyber-Leader, a Cyberman with black "handlebars" on his head and a silver cape, stood in front of the converted house. He pointed his fists at the heroes.

"I have learned much." The Cyber-Leader told Sonic Blue, his fists glowing.

_**KA-ZAP!**_

The Cyber-Leader fired two streams of intense black light at the heroes.

"WATCH OUT!" Storm yelled. The heroes barely managed to dodge the twin black beams in time. The beams hit the ground, kicking up dirt and grass with a THOOM!

"Oof!" Amara hit the ground. She got up on one arm and looked around. She gasped and looked around in a panic. "Sonic Blue!"

"I'm alright..." Spencer grunted as he got up. He shook his head quickly to get the cobwebs out. "Man..."

"You never told us a Cyberman could do _that!_" Ray exclaimed.

"I only fought them once before." Spencer explained. "And the Cyber-Leader wasn't that powerful when we last duked it out!"

"I have upgraded myself since our last encounter, Sonic Blue." The Cyber-Leader explained. "You shall not survive this encounter."

"...I hope the plan works, Scott." Spencer quickly whispered to Cyclops.

"What I can't believe is that you actually want _them_ to do it." The optic blaster whispered back. Spencer smiled.

"Hey, they liked my offer. Help us out, and I get them a discount at any pizza place in Cincinnati. I've eaten at them all."

"Hmmmm..." The Cyber-Leader looked at the heroes. "Perhaps you organics could use a challenge." In several flashes of light, a group of Cybermen appeared next to the Cyber-Leader. Unusually, instead of the normal silver coloring of the Cybermen, these Cybermen were black in color. **(2)**

"What are those?" Logan blinked.

"I dunno." Spencer shrugged. "I never saw those before."

"Delete! Delete! Delete!" The black Cybermen fired black energy beams from their fists.

"Yipe!" The X-Men and Sonic Blue scattered.

"Whoa!" Amara yelped.

"Not cool! Not cool! Not cool!" Ray hit the ground, covering his head with his arms.

"Blast 'em!" Scott yelled, firing an optic blast at the black Cybermen. The optic beam was right on the verge of hitting one when the same blue aura appeared around it that was around the Cyber-Leader. The forcefield successfully block the optic blast, much to Scott's chagrin. "You've _got_ to be kidding me!"

"They got forcefields, too!" Logan growled.

"But how?!" Spencer blinked. He scanned their forcefields. "I've examined Cybermen before! They never had this ability before!"

"Didn't think that they'd upgrade, did ya?" Logan grunted at Spencer.

"Mr. Logan, be nice!" Amara snapped.

"I knew that they have on occasion, adapted other world's technologies for their own usage, but I didn't think they'd do it like this! Those forcefields are very powerful." Spencer explained. The Cybermen started firing their energy weapons at the heroes, forcing them to constantly evade.

"We can't even scratch 'em!" Tabby exclaimed as she threw several time bombs at one of the Cybermen. It didn't do much good.

"Those things have to have a weakness." Beast muttered.

"We should keep 'em distracted!" Spencer suggested. "The plan can still work!" Scott nodded.

"You got a point." Cyclops nodded to Jean. The flying redhead nodded and started to use her telepathy.

_Okay, Starway. Send 'em in._ She signaled.

_You got it, Richy Red._ Jean heard Lila's 'voice' tease. Jean sighed. "Eek!" She dodged a Cyberman's energy beam. "You know, they may have forcefields, but nothing can protect them from my telekinesis!" Jean grunted as she 'lifted' one of the Cybermen and slammed it into another.

"Cyber-Ball in the corner pocket!" Bobby Drake whooped.

**Inside Kelly's house**

In a flash of light, the Brotherhood teleported inside the house, thanks to Lila's powers.

"Good thing we've been here before, huh?" Lila smiled.

"Oh, yeah." Lance nodded. "Let's rock!"

"Hey, uh..." John looked around. "Look it this place, you guys. Kelly must've redecorated." The Brotherhood looked around. They saw that the walls of the house were now metallic, and there were futuristic pipes, control panels, and lights covering the walls. "Wow. He must be a sci-fi fan."

"Pyro...you are a twit." Pietro sighed.

"Alright! We gotta find a way to shut down that Cyber-Bomb!" Lance reminded the team. "The X-Geeks and Sonic Blue are outside distracting those overgrown toasters." A explosion was heard from outside.

"Not too well, by the sound of it." Pietro grunted.

"No problem, yo." Todd cracked his knuckles. "Just gimme a computer, yo."

"Take your pick, Frog." Craig waved his hand.

_**Well, well, well! Looks like things are heating up! What madness will happen next? Can the Brotherhood shut down the Cyber-Bomb? Can the X-Men defeat the Cybermen? Will Jamie and Xavier see that video of the President? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!**_

**(1) – Betamax was a competitor to the VHS tapes in the 1980s. The picture quality was better with Betamax, but the VHS was better priced and marketed, so the Beta fell the way of the dodo bird.**

**(2) – Black-colored Cybermen have been seen in the 1985 serial _Attack of the Cybermen_, a Sixth Doctor story.**


	106. Speed of Sound, Part 12

**The Starr Chronicles**

**Disclaimer: "Shut up, fat boy!" - Stan Marsh, _South Park_**

Chapter 106: Speed of Sound, Part 12

**Manhattan**

Kid Razor, the local superhero of Cleveland, stood in front of an enormous red-bricked mansion, about the size of a city block.

"Huh." The blond-maned teenage super-musician snorted, crossing his arms impatiently. "The Kid of Rock isn't impressed. This is nothing more than a regular house on steroids." The ghostly Ronnie Rocker appeared next to the Fearless One, whistling as an indication that he was impressed.

"Wow." Ronnie gaped. "I never had a house like this when I was alive, even at the height of my fame."

"Meh. This thing looks like part of a castle." Razor joked.

"Maybe we should go inside." Ronnie suggested.

"Okay...you first." Razor smirked.

"Oh now, don't tell me that the Fearless Kid Razor, the self-proclaimed Hero of Cleveland, the Kid of Rock 'n' Roll, the Heavy Metal Heartbreaker, the man that makes women swoon and men go mad with jealousy, is afraid to go into a giant mansion." Razor rolled his eyes.

"Don't be a dimbulb, Ronnie." Razor shook his head. "You're a ghost. If there's a trap in there, you can detect it and let the Kid of Rock know about it."

"Wow." Ronnie's jaw dropped. "I don't believe it. You are actually using your head."

"Yeah..." Razor shrugged. "The Kid of Rock wants to bust in there, but he wants to look real cool if he takes out any traps like he knew they were there already." Ronnie rolled his eyes.

"Of course." Ronnie flew through the door.

**The Xavier Institute**

"Hmmm, hmm, hmm..." Jamie Madrox hummed as he helped hook up the VCR. "Okay, Professor! I got it!" He and Professor Xavier were in the Common Room. Jamie and the Professor had found a videotape only labeled with the words "The President Gets Funky". Curious, the two decided to view the tape.

"Thank you, Jamie." Xavier smiled. He held up the tape and frowned. "Now, I have no idea where this tape came from, to be honest with you." Jamie shrugged.

"In this place, who knows? Maybe it came from the TV. Probably Bobby recorded it for a laugh." The clone-maker took the tape.

"That doesn't sound like Bobby to me." Xavier shook his head. "He finds politics very boring."

"Oh, yeah." Jamie remembered. The clone-maker then shrugged. "Ah well. Let's watch!" Jamie popped the tape in the VCR, and leapt on the couch. Jamie, and an admittedly-curious Xavier watched the tape as it started to play.

**Principal Kelly's House**

"Whoa." Jean Grey noted as the two Cybermen she telekinetically slammed together got to their feet. "These things are tough." The X-men were fighting fiercely in an attempt to take down the Cybermen. However, it wasn't quite

"You're telling me!" Spencer Burton, the super-fast teenaged armored hero known as Sonic Blue agreed, blasting one of the black Cybermen with a sonic beam, only for the beam not to damage it. "Crud!" The Cyberman fired an energy beam, which Spencer barely managed to dodge. "Yie!"

"Spencer!" Amara screamed.

"Don't worry, I'm a-okay!" The blue-armored hero reassured. "It's going to take a lot more than some reject from _Close Encounters of the Third Kind_ to take me down!"

"Blast it!" Scott repeated, trying to blast the Cyber-Leader with his optic blasts. "I wish there was a way to get through that freakin' forcefield!"

"Foolish human." The Cyber-Leader scoffed. "You cannot damage your superior."

"If you're so blasted superior, why are you hiding behind a forcefield?" Scott scowled.

"We Cybermen use all the weapons at our disposal to dispose of our enemies." The Cyber-Leader explained.

"But why are we your enemies?" Scott frowned. "We never even _heard_ of you guys before you came to Earth."

"That is how we deal with our enemies." The Cyber-Leader explained.

"What enemies?"

"That's the whole point." If the Cyber-Leader could, he would've smirked. "We destroy our enemies _before_ they become our enemies."

"But... that's insane!" Scott exclaimed.

"Too bad you will not get to figure it out." The Cyber-Leader pointed his glowing fist at Scott. With a _KA-ZOW_, the Cyber-Leader fired his energy beam at Scott. However, Sonic Blue zipped him out of the way before the Cyber-Leader's beam could hit the X-Men's leader.

"Those things are crazy!" Scott exclaimed.

"Told you." Spencer told the optic blaster. "Their natures must be a side effect of their transformation."

"No kidding." Scott agreed. "I mean, what in the name of God made them like that."

"The transition from flesh to steel must've been intensely painful. Probably maddening." Spencer frowned. "As I said before, their so-called 'evolution' most likely drove them to insanity."

**Inside Kelly's House**

"Take your pick, Frog." Craig waved his hand. A scowl crossed the ex-gang member's face.

"Hoo boy..." Todd blinked at the scene. The walls were lined with panels that had screens flashing information and panels with switches, lights, buttons, and various dials and knobs. "I...think we're in trouble."

"Aw, man..." Lila fidgeted with the weapon in her hands. It looked like a futuristic crossbow.

"And once again, Todd Tolensky states the obvious." Pietro grumbled.

"Thanks, Pietro. You're a real help." Todd rolled his eyes.

"Guys, we have to stop the drill, remember? If we don't, the Earth goes kablooie!" Lance reminded in an agitated manner.

"Maybe if we set something on fire, we can stop the big spinny drill!" John suggested with a big grin on his face.

"Oh, great! _There's_ a plan!" Lance groaned.

"Let's just blow up something!" An impatient Wanda grumbled. The red-wearing hexcaster pitched a hexbolt at a control panel, causing it to explode.

"Oh, great work, Wanda!" Lance snapped. "You just may have caused more problems!"

"Uh, you guys..." Todd pointed up at the walls. Several small cannons appeared to sprout from the wall.

"Oh, great! Nice work! Thanks, Wanda!" Pietro rolled his eyes.

"You want some of this, Pietro?!" Wanda growled, shoving a fist right under Pietro's nose. "At least I _tried_ something!" The nozzles of the laser cannons started to glow.

"Oh, that's not good." Fred frowned.

"Aw, crud..." Lila winced.

_**BZOW! BZOW!**_

**Outside Kelly's house**

"Look out!" Storm yelled, dodging laser beams from one of the black Cybermen.

"What are these things made out of?!" Jean yelled, trying to slam two of the black Cybermen together.

"I don't know, but they are tough!" Amara threw some fireballs at the Cybermen. Spencer scanned them.

"Aw, no. They're packing forcefields!" Spencer growled. "Not as powerful as the one the Cyber-Leader is packing, but they're still tough!"

"I didn't notice..." Scott cracked as he fired an optic blast at the Cyber-Leader.

"Delete! Delete!" The Cybermen fired their energy weapons at the heroes.

"AGH!" Jean clutched her head.

"Jean!" Scott exclaimed.

"It's the Brotherhood!" Jean exclaimed. "They're inside, but it's defended. They're trying to implement the plan, but the house has internal defenses!"

"If I know the Cybermen, it's probably nothing more than wall-mounted laser cannons! Tell them to go ahead with the plan!" Spencer told the redhead telepathic telekinetic. Jean nodded and sent the message.

"A natural leader..." Amara swooned.

"'Mara, can you swoon at a time when we might _not_ all get killed?!" Tabby exclaimed.

"For all our sakes?!" Bobby added, firing an ice beam at a black Cyberman.

**Inside Kelly's house**

"I got the message!" Lila exclaimed. The Brotherhood were huddled in a corner, hiding behind the invulnerable Blob. The laser blasts the cannons fired at him bounced off his invincible body.

"Ha!" The large Texan crowed. "These Cyber-nerds can't hurt the Blob!"

"What'd they say, Lila?" Lance asked.

"Go ahead with the plan." Lila told the geokinetic. "I'll get the device to the power source! I've seen this stuff before, so I'll know where it is. These Cybermen always follow patterns. Just like machines. Just keep going the same way unless new input is given. Keep 'em busy!" The interstellar teleporter vanished in a flash of light. She reappeared near the center of the renovated house, carrying a machine gun-sized missile, and what appeared to be a bomb. She hooked the bomb to the power source of the house, a generator in the basement. "Heh." She smirked. "Didn't expect organic life to bethis clever, did you, Cybermen?" She vanished again. She reappeared next to the Brotherhood, carrying the missile. "Come on!" The Brotherhood took her hand, and she 'ported them out. The mutants reappeared outside, and waved to the X-Men.

"They must've done it!" Ray realized.

"Huh. Never expected the Brotherhood to pull it off." Roberto remarked as he chopblocked one of the black Cybermen.

"Let's see if they have." Spencer smirked. "Hey Cyber-Leader!" He taunted. "We came bearing you a gift, courtesy of the people of Earth." The blue-armored hero pressed a button on his gauntlet. "Get down!"

_**KA-BOOM!**_

Kelly's renovated house went up in an fiery explosion. The Cybermen watched impassively, but Spencer knew that the Cyber-Leader was enraged. He did it again. These pitiful organics foiled the superiors somehow _again_. Why did they have to fight them? Why couldn't they have just accepted and acknowledged the Cybermen's superiority?

"You pitiful organic." The Cyber-Leader snarled.

"Oh, is that emotion I hear?" Spencer smirked. "If you hate me now, you are going to despise me in a moment. You see, the generator that powers your forcefields has just been destroyed, so it looks like you guys are defenseless against my other little surprise. Miss Cheney, if you would?"

"You got it!" Lila placed the rocket on the ground and pressed a button on it. The rocket streaked up into the air. The puzzled Cybermen looked up at the rocket.

"I suggest you guys cover your mouths and try not to breathe it in." Spencer suggested, his face plate covering his mouth and nose. The rocket exploded, and a rain of gold-colored glitter came down on top of the Cybermen.

"That's gold dust!" Jean realized. She had put up a telekinetic shield around the X-Men and the Brotherhood to protect them from the gold dust.

"Yup." Spencer nodded. The dust rained on the Cybermen and they started to convulse as the dust entered their bodies and choked their systems. "Looks like these Cybermen never learn." The Cybermen fell face-first. The Cyber-Leader, however, fell to his knees first.

"Be warned, S-S-Sonic Blue..." The Cyber-Leader choked. "You-you-you have only d-d-delayed the inevitable. Your p-p-planet shall fall..." He fell face-first. The X-Men, the Brotherhood, and Sonic Blue stared at the scene for a few quiet moments.

"It's over." Scott breathed.

"Thank the Gods." Amara agreed.

"Hard to believe those things were once alive." Beast frowned. Spencer nodded.

"Yeah." The blue-armored teenager agreed. "But hopefully, mankind won't be like this."

_**Well, well, well! Looks like our heroes have saved the day! What madness will happen next? Will the X-Men and Brotherhood be hailed as heroes? Will the Cybermen return? Will our heroes meet other heroes? What'll be Kelly's reaction when he wakes up? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!**_


	107. Speed of Sound, Epilogue

**The Starr Chronicles**

**Disclaimer: "We're kids, we don't volunteer for anything!" - Stan Marsh, _South Park_**

**Warning: I go into a bit of a rant in one of my little author's notes at the end. It's just something I really needed to say.**

Chapter 107: Speed of Sound, Epilogue

**Outside Kelly's House**

"Uhn...oh..." Principal Kelly groaned as he slowly sat up. "My head..." The hapless principal rubbed his head and opened his eyes slowly. "Uhn...oh God..." His eyes widened and he got up. "What-?" He looked at the smoking pile of rubble that was his home. Not to mention the wrecked Cybermen. He blinked as his brain took a moment to process it. "Uh...uh...uhhh...uh-uhhh..m-m-m..." He finally got it. "MY HOUSE! OH MY GOD! MY HOUSE! MY HOUSE! WHAT HAPPENED HERE?!" He heard a _Thwap!_ "Huh?" The hapless principal felt a dart on his neck. He also felt a strange urge to go to sleep. "Uh!" He hit the ground. Several uniformed men emerged from the wooded area around his house. One was a certain eyepatch-wearing WWII veteran. One of the uniformed men carried a sniper rifle.

"Subject tranquilized, sir." The sniper rifle-toting man told the eyepatched man. Nick Fury only nodded , pulled out a cigar from his jacket, and lit it.

"Alright, let's clean up this mess. Get these Cybermen things out of here."

"Good thing this town is pretty oblivious, huh?" The sniper-toting man chuckled.

"Yeah." Fury nodded.

**The Xavier Institute**

"That was a most unusual mission." Beast remembered. He was sitting in the Xavier Institute's teacher's lounge, with Xavier, Logan, and Storm. "Fighting cyborgs from outer space."

"I found them quite disturbing, to be honest with you." Ororo Munroe admitted, sipping some tea. "They were so...unnatural. Horrific. They had no love, no joy. Just anger, hate, and madness."

"That Sonic Blue kid said that their transformation made 'em that way." Logan remembered. "Speaking of Sonic Blue, where is the so-called Iron Speedster?"

"I believe Mr. Burton is socializing with the students." Xavier remembered.

"Burton?" Logan blinked.

"Spencer Burton." Xavier explained. "That is Sonic Blue's real name. He told it to me when we were speaking here at the Institute." The bald telepath then smiled. "I think it will be good for the students to know Sonic Blue and perhaps form a friendship."

"Why for, Charles?" Hank raised an eyebrow.

"Well, Sonic Blue is human." Xavier explained. "When Scott told him about mutants, he didn't seem repulsed at all. Instead, he was fascinated."

"Yes." Ororo nodded. "In fact, Sonic Blue seemed to have a flash of inspiration."

"Anyway, what about those Cybermen?" Beast frowned. "People will see their remains."

"I took care of it." Logan answered.

"How?" Ororo wondered.

"I _took care of it._" Logan repeated, his tone indicating that he wasn't going to go any further. The Kenyan mutant blinked.

"...Well, does anyone wish to watch this tape?" Xavier changed the subject, holding up a videotape. "Young James Madrox found this. It's really quite amusing." Meanwhile, Sonic Blue was interacting with the students.

"I find it hard to believe that you're just a regular human, pal." Ray Crisp frowned, crossing his arms. Sonic Blue was sitting on the couch. His helmet was on his lap, revealing his long brown hair and blue eyes.

"Believe me, I am." Spencer chuckled. "Well, except for an IQ of 325."

"Three-twen-!" Scott's jaw dropped. "I think you could be qualified for Mensa!" Spencer rolled his eyes.

"I went to a Mensa meeting once back home in Cincinnati. I ended up regretting it." The blue-eyed hero sighed. "Any questions?"

"How does that armor work?" Rogue wondered.

"It's complicated." Spencer chuckled. "I try to explain in simple terms, but then I end up spouting technobabble." The ponytailed hero sighed. "Whenever Razor catches me, he smacks me upside the head, and shoots me with an insult."

"I still find it hard to believe that you consider that loudmouthed jerk Kid Razor your best friend." Scott frowned, shaking his head. Spencer shrugged.

"Razor's a good guy underneath it. He just likes to show off and he tends to think he's better than everyone else."

"Not to mention he kept eyeing Jean and Storm." Scott remembered.

"Yeah, Razor thinks of himself as God's gift to women." Spencer nodded. "He really doesn't do a half-bad job protecting Cleveland."

"It's a miracle that city hasn't been spirited away by aliens or something." Roberto rolled his eyes.

"I think it did once." Spencer blinked. "That was a weird day. I'm glad Cincinnati is semi-normal...well, except for last Thanksgiving, when those giant mutant turkeys rampaged."

"We met a were-turkey on Halloween." Jean sighed. Spencer raised an eyebrow.

"A were_turkey?_" Spencer's jaw dropped.

"Yeah, we didn't believe it either." Jean sighed.

"I can't believe you don't have a problem with us being mutants." Tabby blinked.

"Well, I find the idea of mutants incredible." Spencer smiled. "I'm a big comic book reader, so I'm not unfamiliar with the idea of people being born with superpowers. Heck, there's a comic book I love starring Star-Warrior, a superhero who was born with innate superpowers." **(1)**

"I thought I was the only one who read _Star-Warrior_!" Bobby grinned. "Do you have the issue where Star-Warrior where he fought Lady Galaxia in Las Vegas?" Spencer smirked.

"Pal, you are looking at a guy who owns every single issue of Star-Warrior's comic. From issue 1 in 1984 to today. My favorite storyline was the team-up between Star-Warrior and the Galactic Justice Force from 1992."

"Oh, yeah, I remember that one!" Bobby laughed. "Star-Warrior couldn't keep his big mouth shut around Princess Alysha! He wouldn't stop flirting with her, and she punched him right in the jaw, sending him across the room!"

"Yeah, that was funny!" Spencer laughed. "And the best part was, Star-Warrior still wouldn't stop flirting!"

"Hunh. The guy is a comic geek." Kitty frowned.

"We all have to have our hobbies, Kitty." Kurt admonished. Unbeknownst to everyone else, Tabby noticed something.

"'Mara, you're drooling." Tabby noted.

"Are you alright staying here for a while?" Scott asked the Iron Speedster. "I'm sure that you would want to go back to Cincinnati."

"I don't mind." Spencer smiled. "Cincinnati did fine for many years before me, and the city'll be fine without me for a little while." Amara raised her hand and bounced up and down in her seat. "Yes?"

"I have a question!" Amara bounced up and down.

"Okay..." Spencer nodded.

"Are you single?" The Nova Roman asked hopefully. Spencer blushed.

"Easy there, 'Mara." Tabitha chuckled.

"Oh look, the princess is all into Sonic Blue." Ray teased with a snicker.

"You want to be roasted?" Amara growled. Laughter was heard from the lounge.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Looks like ze teachers found something funny." Kurt blinked.

"My goodness!" Beast laughed. "How drunk did the President get to do the Funky Chicken at a press conference?"

**The Xavier Institute, the next day**

"Hey, Rogue!" Kitty Pryde ran up to Rogue, who was sitting in the kitchen, sipping coffee.

"Whaddaya want, Kitty?" Rogue frowned. "Ah'm drinkin' mah coffee. Ah like to be left alone when Ah'm drinkin' mah coffee."

"I know, I know. But a package came for you." Kitty held out the package. It was a small blue package. The southern mutant blinked.

"For me? But who would give _me_ a package?" Rogue blinked in confusion.

"It was sent from Cincinnati." Kitty remembered.

"Sonic Blue is from there." Rogue took the package. "Ah'd better not let Amara see this. She will be furious. That thing she has for Sonic Blue and all."

"Open it!" Kitty grinned. "I want to see what it is! Is it jewelry? A gift certificate? Steak?"

"Yeah, it's steak." Rogue rolled her eyes as she opened the package. "Huh?" Rogue pulled out a green-and-black sleek, futuristic-looking watch. "It's a watch."

"...Rogue, there's a note." Kitty pointed out. The Southerner picked up the note and read it.

_Rogue,_

_If you're reading this,then you must've gotten my little gift. I heard about your issue with your powers, and I hope this gadget I built for you will help. It should allow you to touch people normally. I made it into a watch so it wouldn't be obvious. It does work like a real watch, too. It's accurate, tells the date, has one of those day-glo things, and it's waterproof up to 700 ft. It can take a beating, too. I kept in mind the missions you X-Men get up to. It's solar-powered and designed to collect energy, so it'll constantly be charged. Okay, I had some help from Reed Richards in building this. He was happy to do it. Hope you like it, and I am looking forward to the next time the X-Men and myself join forces!_

_Sincerely,_

_Sonic Blue, delivering justice at the speed of sound!_

Rogue couldn't believe it. She continued reading the note, which told her more about the watch, and how to use it.

"Rogue?" Kitty took the note and looked at it.

"Shut them off..." Rogue stammered, staring at the watch. "Ah can shut mah powers off. This watch lets me shut mah powers off." She slowly put it on, her hands shaking, nearly making her drop it. After putting it on, Rogue noticed a small red light on the side of the watch. She pressed a button on the watch, and the light turned green. The skunk-haired mutant then removed her glove. "Kitty...Ah want to try something..." Before Kitty could react, Rogue had placed her bare finger on Kitty's forehead.

Nothing.

Rogue felt none of it. She didn't feel Kitty's powers coming to her. She also didn't feel Kitty's memories come into her head. None of it. Just Kitty's skin.

"Oh...mah...God..." Rogue gasped. "Ah can touch! AH CAN TOUCH! WHOOOOOO!" **(2)**

_**Well, well, well! Looks like our heroes are read y for another great adventure! What insanity will happen next? What'll Kelly do with no home and stuff? What'll SHIELD do with the Cybermen? Where will Kelly live? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!**_

**(1) – A nod to the DC Comics character Captain Comet, who was born "10,000 years before his time".**

**(2) - Something that has begun to bother me a lot about Rogue lately. A little history lesson here. Rogue was introduced in the comics in **_**Avengers Annual #10**_**, published in 1981. That means Rogue has been around for over 25 years, and in all that time, it had never occurred to anyone to have Rogue find a way to control her powers? In the X-Men comics, it has been shown that the technology to shut off mutant powers does exist. Didn't it ever occur to any of the writers in all those years to have someone use some of that technology to make Rogue a gadget that could let her touch? She could've asked Reed Richards to build something for her or something! So, when I wrote this storyline, I decided to have Sonic Blue build Rogue a power dampener as a way of repaying the X-Men for helping him deal with the Cybermen.**


	108. A Quiet Day and A Date, Part 1!

**The Starr Chronicles**

**Disclaimer: "I'll kick your ass, m'kay?!" - Mr. Mackey, _South Park_**

Chapter 108: A Quiet Day and a Date, Part 1!

**The Xavier Institute**

In Amara's room in the Xavier Institute, the Nova Roman mutant was hanging up a poster.

"There we go." She smiled as she looked over the hung-up poster. It was of Cincinnati's own superhero, the Iron Speedster, Sonic Blue. The poster depicted Sonic Blue racing towards the camera, grinning and giving a thumbs-up. The young princess sighed happily as she looked at the poster.

"Hey, 'Mara..." Tabby peeked her head into the room they shared. "What're you doing?"

"Hanging up my new poster." Amara announced proudly. She then showed it off. "What do you think?"

"Wow." Tabby blinked. "It's...nice."

"I know." Amara smiled. "Isn't it wonderful?"

"Heh heh." The blonde bomb-maker chuckled as she left the room. She noticed Jubilee standing at the corner, chewing gum.

"She got the poster?" Jubilee popped a bubble.

"Yup." Tabby nodded. "Awfully nice of Sonic Blue. He must be pretty good to his fans."

"Yeah, whatever." Jubilee shrugged. "Personally, I like Kid Razor. He's wild, crazy, fun, and answers to no one."

"Hmph." Amara overheard. "Kid Razor is an arrogant loudmouthed disrespectful fool." The young princess scowled as she leaned on the doorway of the room she and Tabby shared, crossing her arms. Jubilee scowled back.

"Kid Razor is a rebel! He, like, answers to no one! He's a total rocker, baby! He makes his own rules!" Jubilee argued.

"Uh, you guys..." Tabby tried to speak to the two girls.

"Kid Razor is a madman." Amara scowled. "I've heard about his antics on the television. He acts like he is one of the gods!"

"He _is_ a god!" The firework-cracker snapped. "A Rock God! Kid Razor released three albums, one of them a solo work, the others with his fellow Rock 'n' Roll Cavaliers!"

"Sonic Blue respects his elders!" Amara snapped back.

"Uh, you two do realize that Kid Razor and Sonic Blue do work together a lot? And you two realize that they are best friends." Tabby tried to remind him.

"Sonic Blue is a nerd!" Jubilee got in Amara's face.

"How dare you!" Amara shoved Jubilee angrily.

"Don't you shove me!" Jubilee shoved back.

"That's it!" The Nova Roman jumped the Chinese-American mutant and the two started to catfight.

"Oh, man..." Tabby sighed.

"_Hmmm hm hm hm hmmmm, hmmmm..._" Kitty Pryde hummed happily to herself in another area of the Mansion as she picked up the phone and started punching in a number.

"Lemme have some of that candy, Roberto!" Ray Crisp was heard snapping.

"Uh, hang on..." Roberto da Costa was heard retorting. "Uh no, I don't have any poor people candy..."

"Oh, like you really need all that chocolate, you rich knothead!" Ray snapped.

"Screw you, Lightning Lady!"

"Oh, that's it! You are toast!" Ray roared.

_**BZZZZZZZZ...**_

"No!" Rahne Sinclair was heard screaming desperately. "Not near the TV!"

_**KA-BOOM!**_

"AAAGH!" Bobby Drake was heard screaming. "You hit the DVD player! You destroyed that movie! YOU SONS OF-!"

_**BAM! BLAM! KA-PAM!**_

"AIEEEEE!" Roberto howled.

"OH SWEET JEBUS, SOMEBODY SAVE US!" Ray cried.

"Knock it off back there!" Kitty snapped. "I'm trying to make a phone call!"

**The Brotherhood House**

"Razzin frazzin..." Pietro Maximoff sulked on the couch. Lance was sitting on one armchair, strumming his white BC Rich guitar. Lila was sitting on another chair she...appropriated from the local furniture store, and the interstellar teleporter was flipping through channels, bored as anything.

"There's nothing on..." Lila whined.

"Then put on that DVD Todd swiped." Lance told the dark-haired young woman.

"Meh, I don't like that movie." Lila sighed.

"Then go do something with that Cannonball guy. You got that thing for him." Lance suggested. Lila shrugged.

"I'll go say hi some other time." The interstellar teleporter answered.

"Change 'em faster." Pietro grumbled. "Keep making me watch these boring shows."

"Sorry Piehead, but we can't tell as fast as you." Lila grumbled. "And what's with you anyway? You've been moody ever since that whole thing with the Cybermen."

"You _know_ why." Pietro grumbled.

"Oh, brother..." Lance rolled his eyes.

"Is this about that Sonic Blue thing again, isn't it?" Lila sighed tiredly, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Oh yeah, you bet!" Pietro grumbled.

"Whaddaya got against that guy, anyway?" Lance looked at Pietro like he had lost it.

"You _know_ what." Pietro grumbled.

"Pietro, you can be so stupid sometimes." Lila shook her head.

"No, seriously!" Pietro whined. "He's trying to copy me!"

"Copy you?" Lance repeated in disbelief.

"Yeah!" Pietro snapped. "Think about it!"

"Pietro, that is stupid." Lila grumbled.

"Come on guys!" Pietro complained, trying to get through to the geokinetic and the interstellar teleporter.

"Come on what?" Lila grumbled.

"Think about it!" Pietro whined. "He wears blue and he has superhuman speed! Just like me!"

"Pietro, I'm going to explain it to you one last time." Lance grumbled. "He's from Cincinnati. He's never been to Bayville before that Cybermen thing. He's never _heard_ of you before that Cybermen thing. How can he copy you if he never heard of you?"

"Oh, for the love of..." Pietro groaned. "Why isn't anyone listening to me?"

"Because you're stupid?" Lila grunted, flipping on a channel. "Hey, something about England."

"Why are you interested in that?" Lance blinked.

"Well, I'm _from_ England." Lila explained.

"You're English?" Lance blinked. "Wow."

"You don't sound like you're from England." Pietro blinked.

"I refuse to sound like a Monty Python character." Lila grunted. "I learned to speak without it." The phone rang. "Hey, the phone's working."

"For now." Lance told the English mutant as he picked up the receiver. "Hulk's Deli. You order, we smash."

"Hi, Lance!" A chirpy Kitty greeted.

"Hey, Pretty Kitty." Lance smiled.

"Oh, man..." Pietro groaned.

"Here we go again." Lila sighed, going back to her channel changing.

"You know Lance, this thing you have with the X-Geek is going to get us all in big trouble." Pietro grumbled.

"Oh let them be, Speedy." Lila pulled some of her long black feathered hair behind her ear. "They ain't hurtin' nobody."

"But they're supposed to be our enemies! God!" Pietro groaned. Lila rolled her eyes.

"We didn't exactly try to hinder the X-Men's efforts to stop the Cybermen." The English mutant reminded.

"No, we let that blue bonehead con us into helping." Pietro groaned.

"No, we're all doing fine, Kitty..." Lance answered.

"Yeah. Like, we found a bunch of garden gnomes -Hey!" Sounds of struggling were heard from the phone.

"AH CAN TOUCH! AH CAN TOUCH! WHOOOOOOO!" Rogue was heard whooping.

"Uh..." Lance said. Rogue's whooping was so loud Pietro and Lila heard it.

"Say what?" Pietro blinked.

"Hey, tell her way to go!" Lila waved in support.

"That's...nice, Rogue." Lance blinked, completely caught off guard.

"We know, Rogue! We know! Like, get off the phone!" Kitty snapped. "Eh heh heh, sorry about that. Sonic Blue made Rogue this power-control gadget and she's been running around all day. Hey, you doing anything tonight?"

_**Well, well, well! Looks like our heroes are having a nice quiet day. What insanity will happen next? What'll happen on Lance and Kitty's date? Why is Pietro so hacked off at Sonic Blue? Will Rogue ever calm down? Will I stop asking stupid questions? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!**_


	109. A Quiet Day and A Date, Part 2!

**The Starr Chronicles **

**Disclaimer: "Me fail English? That's unpossible." - Ralph Wiggum, _The Simpsons_**

Chapter 109: A Quiet Day and A Date, Part 2!

**The Baxter Building**

"Hmmmm..." A man dressed in a costume looked into a futuristic microscope. The costume was primarily blue with a white band around the waist, white boots and gloves, and on the chest, was an emblem of a blue "4" in a white circle. "Interesting..." He was a scientist, but he was also one of the world's greatest superheroes. Reed Richards was once a regular scientist, until he and four friends of his took an experimental rocket flight. Exposed to cosmic rays, the foursome gained incredible powers, and they became the First Family of Heroes, the Fantastic Four. Reed himself took the name of Mr. Fantastic.

"Reed, look what came for you." A beautiful blonde woman entered the lab. Sue Richards was the Invisible Woman, who had the power to turn herself and others invisible, as well as project force fields. She was holding a small envelope. Reed looked up and at the envelope.

"Hmm..." The scientist looked at the envelope. "Thank you, Sue." He took the envelope and read the address. "Ah, this is from the Xavier Institute."

"It must be from that Rogue girl." Sue deduced. "Poor thing, not able to control her powers."

"Luckily, science was able to find a solution." Reed smiled as he read the note. "Oh, this is nice. She sent me a thank-you note." A loud roar was heard. "What was that noise?"

"Oh, no..." Sue groaned. "Don't tell me those two are at it again."

"BWAAAAA-HAHAHAHAHAHA!" A young blond man cackled as he ran by, clutching several cans of spray paint. He was Johnny Storm, the second hero to take the name of the Human Torch.

"COME BACK HERE, STORM!" A thick New York-accented voice yelled angrily. "I'M GONNA TEAR OUT YER TONGUE AND STRANGLE YA WITH IT!" The source raced by: A an whose skin appeared to be made of orange rocks. Benjamin Grimm, the Thing. Oddly enough, he was covered in bright graffiti.

"Hey, it was those Yancy Street guys!" Johnny laughed.

"Yeah, my Aunt Petunia!" Ben yelled. "You should try and hide the evidence before ya make a frame-up!"

"Oh God, they're at it again..." Sue sighed. "I wonder if that Xavier guy goes through stuff like this."

**The Xavier Institute**

"JAMIE! DID YOU TURN THE DANGER ROOM INTO MARIO LAND AGAIN?!" Wolverine was heard roaring from the Institute.

**Bayville High**

"Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh..." Todd Tolensky snickered. Armed with a paintbrush, the amphibian-like mutant appeared to be painting on the tile floor of the showers of the men's changing rooms in the Bayville High Gym. However, in actuality, he was not using paint. He was using glue. "Take that, jocks..." He got up and smiled at his handiwork. "There we go. Those clowns will get a nasty surprise when they next use these." He turned his head. "Yo Lance, you done there?"

"Yeah." The geokinetic jumped down from the bench he was standing on. He was stuffing something into a vent. "I wonder how Lila got that thing?"

"She's a space girl, yo." Todd shrugged. "She probably got it on some space truck stop or something."

"Speaking of travels, how're things going between you and the Fish-girl?" Lance answered.

"Her sisters still give her grief." Todd shrugged. "She caught them putting makeup on Little C again."

"Damn." Lance shook his head sympathetically. "That kid really needs a brother or two."

"Yeah, tell me about it." The amphibious mutant nodded in agreement. "She's seriously thinking of putting him with me for a while so he can have a male influence."

"...Doesn't he have a dad? You know, that ex-SEAL?" Lance blinked.

"She wants him to have a _normal_ male influence." Todd explained. The geokinetic burst out laughing. "Anyway, Al herself is doing fine. She wants us to come to Miami again sometime."

"Yeah, that sounds cool." Lance shrugged. "I'm sure Lila would teleport us there sometime." The geokinetic realized something. "Oh, we'd better get out of here, man." Lance reminded. "Don't want anyone getting suspicious."

"You got it!" Toad nodded. The two Brotherhood members raced out of the showers. Meanwhile, Lila Cheney was hanging out outside the hall when she noticed Rogue walk by.

"Hey." The dark-haired English mutant greeted the Southerner. Lila never really had much of an issue with the former Brotherhood Babe, now X-Girl.

"Oh, hey Lila." Rogue answered.

"Heard your little outburst on the phone." Lila snickered. "For someone so jaded, you sure can act joyful." Rogue sighed.

"Ah don't know what came over me, to be honest." The Southerner sighed. "Ah guess Ah was just so excited that Ah can touch again. You have no idea what it's like, Lila."

"No kidding." The Englishwoman agreed. "So, what happened? You finally found a way to shut them off?"

"Kinda." Rogue smirked, showing off the watch on her wrist. Lila blinked.

"Nice watch. What does that have to do with your powers?"

"The watch is also a power dampener." Rogue explained. "Sonic Blue built it for me after the whole Cybermen thing. Ah don't know how it works, but all Ah care about is that it works."

"Huh." Lila blinked. "Does it actually tell time?" Rogue nodded.

"Pretty good." The Southerner answered.

"You know, it just occurred to me." Lila realized.

"What?" Rogue blinked.

"How come you never went to Dr. McCoy and asked him to build you one of those things? He's, like, super-smart, isn't he?" Lila noted. Rogue blinked as she thought about the question.

"Ah...Ah don't know, to be honest with you. Ah thought it wasn't possible." The power absorber admitted. "Ah had no idea the technology to create this even existed. Although Sonic Blue did say that he had some help from some guy named Reed Richards."

"Reed Richards?!" Lila's jaw dropped. "As in, Mr. Fantastic? The leader of the Fantastic Four?"

"You've heard of him." Rogue blinked.

"I spent a lot of my life in space, but I heard of him. His name is considered a curse word to the Skrulls." Lila nodded.

"What are Skrulls?" Rogue blinked.

"Think people with green skin tones, Spock ears, ridged chins, and shapeshifting powers." Lila explained.

"Ah." Rogue ran a hand through her brown-and-white hair. "Ah see."

"So, I heard that a certain cat with horrendous driving and cooking skills asked a certain rocktumbler out on a date." Lila noted.

"How'd you know?" Rogue blinked.

"I was in the room when Lance was talking to her on the phone." Lila explained.

"Ah." Rogue nodded. Meanwhile, another member of the Brotherhood was trying to keep himself entertained.

St. John Allerdyce, the insane Australian mutant codenamed Pyro, was desperately trying to keep himself from going even more insane sue to boredom. The reddish-blond Australian had one elbow on one of the tables of the cafeteria. He was tapping on the table with a drumstick in his other hand.

"God, I am bloody bored..." The Australian pyrokinetic sighed to himself. "There's nothing to do in this school." He eyed the standing brown paper bag next to him. "Ah, well...let's see what I got for lunch today." The Australian stuck his tongue out in concentration as he rooted around in the bag. He grinned widely as he grabbed something. "Alright!" He grinned as he pulled out a bag of red, yellow, and green vegetables. "Peppers!" He opened the bag and started to eat the peppers.

"Hey John." Lance greeted.

"Hey, mate." John chomped on a pepper. "Pepper?"

"Nah." The geokinetic shook his head. "I'm good. Hey listen, we got some rehearsals tonight."

"I thought you had a date with the phasey girl tonight." John reminded.

"I do." Lance confirmed with a nod.

"Then how can we rehearse?" John blinked.

"We just sit around and play for an hour, John." Lance sighed. "I don't go out until tonight."

"Oh, I see." John nodded. The insane pyrokinetic then noticed the science teacher sitting in a table nearby his. "Hey, look. It's Mr. Jerome."

"Jerome?" Lance blinked. "God, I hate him. He calls everybody names and says we're all stupid."

"Kelly was on his magic pills when he was hired." John grinned.

"Ahem." A voice coughed. Lance and John looked up and saw the nerdy Lewis.

"I wish for you to send a message to Rogue for me. She may have thwarted my plans to go out with her, but one day, I shall go out with her! So says Lewis!" Lewis moved his arm like he was draping a cape over himself. He then scurried away. Lance and John looked at each other.

"No more drugs for that man." They intoned in unison. **(1)**

"And you day I'm nuts." John snickered.

"You are." Lance shot back.

"Anyway, check this out." The Austrailian grinned madly as he whipped out his lighter. John made a small fireball appear from his lighter's flame, then he had the fireball leap along the ground carefully and finally land on Mr. Jerome's shoes.

"Huh?" The science teacher looked down at his flaming foot. "AAAAAH!" He leapt up and shook his foot wildly. John cackled.

"Nice one." Lance hi-fived his teammate. The students in attendance burst out laughing at the sight of the science teacher trying to put himself out.

"WHO DID THAT?!" A furious Mr. Jerome yelled. He growled as he grabbed Lewis and forced him to his feet. "It was you, wasn't it, Lewis? Huh? HUH?!" He started shaking Lewis violently. "ANSWER ME, YOU PUNK!"

"Ab-ab-ab-ab-!" Lewis stammered in shock, making Mr. Jerome angrier.

"WHY YOU-! I OUGHTA PUT YOU OUT OF YOUR MISERY YOU DOG!" Mr. Jerome roared furiously. "HEY! HEY LEMME GO!" Mr. Jerome was being separated from Lewis by students and teachers alike.

"Well, now there's something you don't see every day." Lance chuckled.

"Yeah." John agreed.

_**Well, well, well! Looks like the science teacher is in trouble! What insanity will happen next? Can our heroes survive this day? Will Logan catch Jamie? Will the date go smoothly? What is Mr. Jerome's problem? And what is up with Lewis? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!**_

**(1) – A line from _Face/Off_**


	110. A Quiet Day and A Date, Part 3!

**The Starr Chronicles**

**Disclaimer: "You know what we call that?! MINDTAKING, BABY!" - Mentok, the Mind-Taker, _Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law_**

Chapter 110: A Quiet Day and a Date, Part 3!

**Downtown Bayville**

Craig Starr, the Brotherhood member known as Darkstar, was walking down the street. His long dark hair, and the fact that he tended to walk with his head slightly down, helped hide his black birthmark. The young mutant wasn't in school, but then, school wasn't really his thing. Craig has his hands in his pockets.

The mutant teenager noticed a mumbling bum leaning against a wall in an alley. Craig Starr just turned his head slightly as the bum looked up, holding out a tin can.

"Ummm yeah ummm could you ummm spare some change ummm..." The bum mumbled. Craig just stared at the down-and-out man for a few moments. Then, the young mutant slowly pulled out one of his hands from his pockets. The hand was coiled into a fist. The dark-haired teenager slowly put the fist over the can and opened it.

_Clink! Clink! Clink!_

Craig deposited some change in the cup.

"Ummm bless you kid ummm..." The homeless man mumbled.

"Yeah, sure." Craig shrugged and walked away. He knew how rough things could get. He then walked away. "Hunh. Never thought one'd see bums in Bayville. But then again, I've spent time on the streets myself."

**Rich's Records**

Rich's Records was a store in Bayville that sold musical instruments, CDs, tapes, and of course, records. Paul Starr, the young mutant codenamed Starchild, worked part-time at this store.

"_Hmmm hm hmmm..._" Paul hummed to himself as he walked down an aisle, holding several old-style vinyl records in the crook of his arm. He was dressed in black slacks and a purple polo shirt with the Rich's Records logo on it. His wrists and hands were still covered in their trademark gloves and bracelets. He used makeup to conceal his birthmark.

_Ding ding!_

The bells on top of the store's doors rang, indicating someone was walking inside. It was Rogue.

"Hey, Starr!" The voice of the manager called. "Get to the register! We got a customer!"

"Okay, Rich!" Paul nodded. He went over to the register. "May I help you?" Rogue smiled as she walked over.

"Hey, Paul." She greeted. The skunk-haired Southerner eyed the pile of vinyl records that Paul had put down. She picked up one and looked at it. "Gerry and the Pacemakers?" The dark-haired LA native shrugged.

"It wouldn't surprise me if those guys had pacemakers now." Paul joked, making Rogue smirk. **(1)**

"Whatever you say, sugah." The Southerner grinned.

"Wow, Rogue." Paul blinked. "I've never seen you grin like that." The Southerner quickly looked around and leaned towards the LA native.

"You see the watch Ah have on mah wrist?" Rogue whispered, pointing at the watch on her wrist.

"Yeah..." Paul blinked.

"Well, it's not just a watch." Rogue explained. "Sonic Blue built it for me after the Cybermen attack. It also allows me to finally shut off mah blasted powers." Paul beamed.

"That's great, Rogue." The young mutant known as Starchild encouraged. "I'm glad you finally found a way to touch again."

"Ah know." Rogue smiled. "It's great. Hey uh, did that CD Ah asked for come in?"

"Oh yeah." Paul nodded. He turned towards a shelf on the wall behind him. The door's bells rang again, and an angry man, dressed in a dashiki walked in. His face contorted in fury as he stomped towards the counter. He shoved Rogue aside.

"Hey!" Rogue exclaimed.

"You!" The man shouted angrily at Paul. "Give me my money, mothertrucka!" He demanded.

"Excuse me?" Paul blinked as he turned around.

"I want my money back, mothertrucka!" The man demanded.

"Hey, Ah was here first!" Rogue snapped.

"You go away before I smack you!" The man snapped back.

"You put a hand near me, and Ah'll break it!" Rogue warned.

"Hey now, calm down!" Paul put his hands out in a calming gesture. "Sir, what is your problem? Maybe I can help you."

"You better help me, mothertrucka!" The man snapped. "I come in and want to buy rap CD! I buy CD, and it was rock CD! I don't like rock!"

"Then why'd you buy a rock CD if you don't like rock?" Paul blinked.

"Ya gotta be kiddin'..." Rogue shook her head. The man pulled out the CD. Oddly, the CD was crescent -shaped. "Oh, you _really_ gotta be kiddin'!"

"I don't like rock! I can't get jiggy with this stuff!" He exclaimed.

"Sir, I can't take that back." Paul shook his head.

"You joke!" The man snapped.

"Sir, I can't." Paul repeated. "You don't have a receipt."

"Not to mention Ah think...Ah think he took a bite out of it." Rogue added, pointing at the CD. The man glared at the Southerner.

"You no help!"

"Good!" She smirked.

"Sir, did you take a bite out of that CD?" Paul pointed at the CD.

"What's it to you?!" The man snapped.

"Well, I definitely can't take it back now." Paul sighed. "You have no receipt, and the CD is damaged."

"Not to mention that you don't have the case." Rogue added.

"Give me my money back, mothertrucka!" The man demanded.

"Hang on, sir." Paul tried to calm the man. "Let me get the manager." He peeked through a door. "Uh, Rich?"

"Yeah, what Paul?" A voice asked from the door. The voice belonged to Rich, the manager of the store. Rich, a tall man with blond hair in a ponytail and glasses, looking like he was a hippie back in the 1960s, peeked his head out.

"I got a customer here that wants to return a CD." Paul explained. Rich blinked. "He claims he wanted a rap CD, but accidentally bought a rock CD."

"How can he do that?" Rich blinked.

"I want my money, mothertrucka!" The man yelled impatiently.

"He's got the CD, but he's got no case, no receipt..." Paul winced. "And I think he took a bite out of it."

"...He bit it?" Rich blinked.

"It looks like a silver cookie." Paul nodded. Rich sighed and looked at the man. **(2)**

"Sir, I'm afraid we can't take this back. You have no case, no receipt, and the CD is damaged."

"I WANT MY MONEY, MOTHERTRUCKA!" The man grabbed Rich by the front of his shirt, and cocked his fist back.

_**WHAM!**_

The man nailed Rich with a right cross.

"Aie!" Paul winced.

"That's it! Ah'm callin' the cops..." Rogue grumbled, pulling out her cell phone from her pocket.

**The Brotherhood Boarding House**

"_Duh! Duh duh duh! Duh duh duh..._" Lance Alvers hummed AC/DC's "Back in Black" to himself as he checked himself out in the mirror of his room.

"What _are_ you doing?!" A feminine voice teased. Lance turned around and saw Lila leaning on the doorway, arms crossed, smirk on her face.

"I'm getting ready." Lance answered. "I have a date with Kitty tonight."

"You're wearing that?" Lila frowned, pointing at Lance's outfit. The geokinetic was clad in a black AC/DC t-shirt, and black jeans with a chain hanging off the belt.

"Yeah, why?" The brown-haired mutant blinked. Lila sighed.

"Hang on." The Englishwoman vanished in a flash of light. A short time later, she reappeared, holding out some clothes. "Try these on." Lance took the clothes and he blinked at them.

"Yer kidding." He frowned. "Where'd you get this?" Lila shrugged.

"Somewhere."

**Principal Kelly's House**

"I'm missing a suit." Principal Kelly frowned as he looked in his closet.

**The Brotherhood Boarding House **

"You _really_ want me to _wear_ this?" Lance shot Lila a 'you are completely out of your mind' look.

"Trust me, Lance." Lila grinned. "As a woman, I can tell you, women like guys in suits." The geokinetic sighed.

"Alright..."

"Trust me, she'll love you." Lila closed the door. "I'll let you change in peace. Besides, I got a bit of a date myself."

"...Did that Cannonball clown agree to it?" Lance snickered. Lila glared at the closed door.

"Bite me, toerag!" She snapped, letting her old English accent slightly slip out. "Oh, and Kitty called. She wants to meet you on the balcony."

"Okay, thanks." Lance nodded.

**The Xavier Institute, that night**

_Clang!_

The grappling hook's head clamped onto the railing of the balcony. Lance Alvers, dressed in Kelly's suit, only with the top button on the shirt undone (he refused to wear the tie), scaled up the rope, knowing the X-Men would never let him enter the mansion the normal way. After much grunting and some cursing, the geokinetic managed to get to the balcony.

"Huhn...huh..." He panted. "Hey, Pretty Kitty."

"Glad ta meet ya, Alvers." Wolverine smirked as he emerged from the shadows.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" Lance screamed. "Whoa!" He tumbled over the balcony railing. "WAAAAAAAAAAH!!!" He hit the ground with a thud. "Oof!"

"Mr. Logan, like, did Lance arrive yet?" Kitty was heard asking.

"LILA CHENEY!" The voice of Sam Guthrie was heard roaring. "LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"C'MERE AND KISS ME!" Lila squealed.

_**Well, well, well! Looks like Lance had just run into some trouble! What insanity will happen next? Will Rogue get her CD? Will Lance make it through the date in one piece? What else happened to our heroes? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!**_

**(1) – Based on a scene between Wayne Campbell and Cassandra in the _Wayne's World_ movies.**

**(2) – Based on a scene from _Next Friday._**


	111. A Quiet Day and A Date, Part 4!

**The Starr Chronicles**

**Disclaimer: "Yeah, a really bad dream." - Stan Marsh, South Park**

Chapter 111: A Quiet Day and A Date, Part 4!

**The Xavier Institute, that morning**

"Are you _sure _this is going to work?" Roberto da Costa asked Bobby Drake as the two mutants hid out in the Xavier Institute's garage.

"Yeah, it'll work." Bobby chuckled. "And we'll have it all on tape." He patted a camcorder he was holding. "Man, the look on her face..."

"Won't she figure out it was us?" Roberto frowned in worry.

"Don't worry about it." Bobby reassured. "Jean was there when we _all_ saw that movie. She will have a long suspect list."

"Yeah, but _you're_ the biggest prankster here." Roberto reminded.

"But I'm not the _only_ one." Bobby countered. "Kurt likes to pull a good prank every once in a while, too. Heck, most of us New Mutants pranked each other out once in a while."

"Alright..." Roberto sighed. "I'm amazed we were able to get them into the van without much noise."

"Well, it did help that they were asleep and we have superpowers." Bobby snickered. Roberto noticed someone walking towards the garage.

"Hey, shh!" The Brazilian hissed. "Someone's coming!"

"You got it!" Bobby nodded as he and Roberto hid behind another car. He pointed the camera at the person.

Jean Grey hummed happily as she walked towards her SUV. "La da da...da da dee..." She started to sing to herself as she fished her keys from her pocket. The redhaired young mutant got in. "Da da dee..."

"Baa." A voice mumbled from her car.

"La da da huh?" Jean blinked.

"Oh, man..." Roberto snickered.

"Baa..." The voice repeated.

"What?" The redhead blinked. "What was that?"

"Come on Red, figure it out..." Bobby snickered. Jean looked up at her rear view mirror and saw a lot of white fluff with a couple black heads.

"Baa! Baa!"

"Baa!"

"Baa!"

"What the-?!" Jean's jaw dropped.

"Oh, God..." Roberto gritted his teeth.

"Here it comes..." Bobby laughed quietly.

"SHEEEEEEEEEEP!" Jean screamed. Roberto and Bobby struggled not to burst out laughing.

"Just like Steve Carell, man!" Roberto snickered.

"Oh, man, this is great!" Bobby snickered. The infuriated redhead got out of her car and stomped out of the garage.

"WHO DID THIS?!" The telepath screeched as she stomped away. "I WANT ANSWERS! HOW DID SOMEBODY MANAGE TO SNEAK SHEEP INTO MY VAN?!"

**A house, that night**

_Whack!_

A rock hit the side of a window.

_Whack!_

"What is it?" A voice grumbled. The owner of the voice opened a window, revealing himself to be Rich, manager of Rich's Records, the place where Paul Starr worked part-time. He looked down and saw the angry dashiki-wearing customer from earlier. "Aw, no..."

"You remember me, mothatrucker?!" Dashiki Man snapped. He was standing next to a pile of rocks. Rich grumbled and picked up his cell phone.

"Go away, pal!" Rich snapped back, dialing a number. "Hello, police? Yeah, the nutjob is at it again. The one from the store. He's at my house. Alright, thank you."

"I'm not your pal, mothatrucker! You give me money back for my CD!" Dashiki Man exclaimed. "You let mothatrucker kids call cops on me!"

"_I'm_ gonna call the cops on you if you don't leave!" Rich snapped.

"I'm not leaving until you gimme my money, mothatrucker!" Dashiki Man yelled. He threw another rock.

"Hey!" Rich ducked the rock. "That's it!" He held up a cell phone. "I just called the cops."

"Yeah, you call cops, mothatrucka!" Dashiki Man threw another rock. "You call all the cops! I tell them you run dirty operation! I tell them, and they take you to jail!"

"Yeah, right!" Rich mocked. Sirens could be heard as a couple of police cars approached the house. A couple of cops approached the dashiki-wearing man.

"Ah, police! Good!" Dashiki Man nodded at the cops. "You arrest that mothatrucka! The mothatrucka ripped me off!"

"Sir, we're gonna ask you to come with us." One of the cops put his hand on the Dashiki Man's shoulder. The Dashiki Man's jaw dropped.

"WHAT?!" He yelled out.

"Sir, you're disrupting the peace. We're going to have to ask you to come with us." The cop repeated.

"Sir, you're under arrest for disturbing the peace." Another cop started to handcuff the Dashiki Man. "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided to you free of charge."

"No! NO!" The struggling Dashiki Man yelled, struggling against the cops. "You got wrong man! You arrest the mothatrucka inside the house! He the criminal! HE THE CRIMINAL! He rip me off! HE RIP ME OFF!" Rich watched the man get carted away.

"Moron." The blond man closed the window.

**An Italian restaurant**

"Wow." Kitty Pryde grinned, looking around at the restaurant. "I can't believe that you managed to pull off getting us here, Lance. This is, like, so awesome!"

"Tell that to my neck." Lance grumbled. "Ow." The geokinetic rubbed the back of his neck, which was covered by a brace. A waiter arrived, putting down plates of spaghetti on the table. "Thanks." He grunted slightly as he coiled his spaghetti around a fork. "Stupid Wolverine. He's lucky I didn't bury his claw-baring ass."

"He didn't mean it, Lance." Kitty tried to reassure the brown-haired young mutant. "Mr. Logan is just, like, a tad bit overprotective." She chuckled as she ate some spaghetti. "You know, Lance...deep down, Mr. Logan is, like, a total softie."

"A softie that can kill a man fifty times before he even hits the ground." Lance grumbled again.

"Well, at least Mr. McCoy was nice enough to put a neck brace on you." Kitty tried to put a positive spin on it.

"I wouldn't have had to climb the wall if I didn't have to worry about that smeghead Logan staking around the place." Lance explained.

"You shoulda called first...smeghead?" Kitty blinked.

"_Red Dwarf_." Lance explained. "It's some show that Lila loves. It's become a bit of a hit amongst the Brotherhood." Lance explained. "It's pretty funny. The episode where Rimmer takes over Lister's body is pretty hilarious. And back on track, I wanted to surprise you."

"Well, I certainly was totally surprised." Kitty smiled. "Your screams really surprised everyone at the Institute."

"Considering there were considerable amounts of terror and pain in those screams." Lance agreed with a chuckle. "This is good spaghetti." What the two young mutants did not realize was that outside, Wolverine was watching them through the window from the bushes.

"Hmmm..." Logan frowned. "Well, Rockhead don't seem to be causing any trouble. Not yet anyway..."

"You think Claws is secretly following us?" Lance realized. "He is crazy enough to do it."

"Why would he do that?" Kitty frowned. "That'd make him look like a total freak."

"You really think he cares?" Lance groaned. "The man can kill a guy fifty times before the guy even hits the ground." The brunette phaser burst out laughing.

_If he **does** try anything...should I use Method No. 36 or Method No. 45 to take him out?_ Logan wondered to himself. _Maybe I'll use Method No. 24...Yeah, that's a good one. _The Canadian feral eyed the small cooler sitting next to him. He opened it up and pulled out a cold can of beer. The feral then used a claw to open it up and he took a swig.

"Lance, you are, like, so paranoid." Kitty shook her head. "Mr. Logan wouldn't kill you...not unless he had a good reason."

"I'm one of the Brotherhood. What more reason could he want?" Lance sighed. A rumbling was heard. "What the-?!"

"_Lance!_" Kitty hissed angrily.

"It's not me!" Lance put his hands up in self-defense.

_**CRASH!**_

"YEEEEE-HAH!" A redneck scream was heard as a monster truck smashed its way through the wall and into the restaurant.

"AHHHHH!" Kitty and Lance screamed as they dove out of the way.

"WHOOOO-YEAH!" A pair of Bayville High jocks whooped from the cab of the truck.

"Ho-lee-!" Lance's jaw dropped.

"WHAT THE-?!" Logan's eyes widened as he saw the truck coming towards the window he was watching Lance and Kitty through. He dove out of the way as the truck smashed through the wall. The feral mutant watched the truck drive away. "What the hell was that about?"

"MR. LOGAN!" Kitty screamed. The feral turned around and saw a blinking Lance and a furious Kitty.

"See, I told you he was crazy." Lance sighed.

_**Well, well, well! Looks like Lance and Kitty's date ended with a bang! What insanity will happen next? Where'd that monster truck come from? What'll Kitty do to Logan? Will Lance tape it? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!**_


	112. A Quiet Day and A Date, Part 5!

**The Starr Chronicles**

**Disclaimer: "Just get to the message board!" - Eric Cartman, _South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut_**

Chapter 112: A Quiet Day and A Date, Part 5

**A cliffside mansion in California**

Up on a cliffside mansion, it's occupant was working on a car. The car was located in an underground garage he had in his home. His black hair was slightly flopping over his face, and he was rubbing his neatly-trimmed beard as he picked up a wrench. The man, dressed in a black t-shirt and a pair of shorts, went back under his hot rod and started making some adjustments.

"Mr. Stark?" A feminine voice called. "Mr. Stark?"

"Huh?" The man, one Anthony Stark, wheeled himself out from under the car. He noticed a beautiful woman walking in, dressed in a blue business suit, her red hair in a ponytail, and her cheeks were freckled. "Ah! Pepper!"

"Working on your cars again, Mr. Stark?" Virginia "Pepper" Potts inquired.

"Yeah, the Aston Martin was sounding funny." Tony nodded, wiping his hands on a cloth. "You know, I've been thinking about that nice Corvette."

"Which one, Mr. Stark?" Pepper wondered.

"That red one." Stark answered. "You know, like in that old Prince song?"

"Ah." Pepper nodded, long used to her boss's regular flights of fancy. "Rhodey is on the phone for you."

"Rhodey?" Tony blinked. He then broke out in a grin. "How is Rhodey doing? Still recovering from the birthday bash I threw him?"

"He wants to talk to you about that little jaunt you took the suit out in last week." Pepper explained.

"Oh, the new thrusters I was testing out." Tony nodded. "Worked like a dream."

"Well, a few F-15s were undergoing training exercises at the time." Pepper added.

"Ah, yes." Tony remembered. "They really helped me test out the maneuverability of my new thrusters. I turn on a dime now!" Pepper handed Tony a cell phone. Tony took it and put it to his ear.

"Hey Rhodey, how're things in-!" Tony quickly jerked the phone away from his ear, visibly wincing. James Rhodes's loud yelling could be heard quite clearly. "Pepper, tell Happy to get the car around. I'm suddenly in the mood for a cheeseburger." **(1)**

**The Xavier Institute**

A furious Jean Grey stomped into the Common Room where she saw the New Mutants lounging around the Common Room.

"Alright!" She snapped. "Which one of you nuts put sheep in my van, and why?!"

"Heh heh heh." Bobby Drake, the cryokinetic codenamed Iceman, snickered as he looked up from the Rubik's Cube he was solving. "You said-!"

"Not now, Drake." Jean sighed. "I want to know about the sheep." She looked over at Sam Guthrie, the blond Kentucky native codenamed Cannonball for his power to blast through the sky like a rocket. The Southerner turned his head as he looked up from a video game he was playing. "Sam, you know about farm animals."

"Well, yes, ma'am..." Sam admitted. Jean smiled.

"Which means that you'd know how to obtain sheep." Jean deduced.

"Well, yeah..." Sam frowned, scratching the back of his head. "But sheep do make a lot of noise." Roberto da Costa, the solar energy battery codenamed Sunspot, started to snicker.

"Baa! I wanna driiiive!" Roberto da Costa, the human cellular battery known as Sunspot, mocked with a chuckle, his voice taking on a stereotypical sheep tone. Jean glared at the young Brazilian.

"This isn't funny, Roberto." Jean admonished.

"It can't be Sam." Tabitha Smith, the blonde energy bomb-maker codenamed Boom-Boom, shook her head, not looking up from the video game she was playing. "He was helping me with my homework last night."

"He was helping me as well." Amara Aquilla, the lava-manipulating princess known as Magma, nodded as she was playing a similar video game. "Hey Tabitha, is this good?" She pointed at the screen of her game. Tabby looked over and nodded.

"Oh yeah, that's real good. That one can kick some butt." The blonde nodded.

"I kinda figured Amara would need help with her homework." Jubilation Lee, the firework-shooting Jubilee, smirked. "Anyone who would like that nerd Sonic Blue would need some serious brain boosting."

"YOU TAKE THAT BACK!" Amara roared. The Nova Roman leapt at the Chinese-American girl and they started to catfight.

"Somebody get the camera!" Ray Crisp, the electricity-shooting Berzerker, called out in delight, looking over from the TV.

"I got it!" Roberto whipped out a camera and started filming. Tabitha scowled and threw a bomb at Ray and Roberto. The bomb exploded with a slight BOOM, knocking the ex-Morlock and the Brazilian solar battery over.

"Uhn, the pain..." Ray moaned weakly.

"Oh, the hurting..." Roberto whimpered. "Why did she give us the hurting?"

"Perverts." Tabby grumbled. Jean sighed.

"All I want to know is who put sheep in my car." The redhead sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Don't ask us, sister." Tabby shrugged, going back to her game.

**Bayville High School**

"Alright!" Members of the Hawks, Bayville High's football team, hooted, hollered, and whooped in delight. They just had a successful night on the gridiron, and the team were in a great mood as they marched into the locker room. "Yeah! What a game!"

"Nice job, girls!" Duncan Matthews complimented, removing his helmet. "You all did good out there!"

"Yeah, we sure did!" A noseguard grinned. "We really took it to those punks!"

"Aw yeah!" A linebacker agreed. "What were they thinking, huh? Stepping into our yard like they owned the place, huh?" Meanwhile, Lewis, dressed in a Batman t-shirt, with jeans and a long black cape, and another nerdy kid, dressed in a Superman t-shirt, were standing outside the locker room. They were listening to the football players hooting and hollering.

"Man, I'm sick of those stupid jocks." Superman shirt grumbled, rubbing the back of his head. "Somebody oughta take 'em down a peg."

"I'm with you on that, friend." Lewis nodded. "Somebody oughta take some revenge on them! After all , I vowed to make Rogue pay for not taking me out!" He snapped his cape dramatically, making Superman shirt roll his eyes.

"Lewis, you really got a thing for that cape." Superman shirt sighed.

"Alright, guys!" The coach was heard yelling. "Ya did good. Hit the showers!" The sounds of shower heads spitting hot water could be heard, alongside laughing, talking, and hooting, until they were replaced by sounds of uncertainty.

"Hey Lewis, you hearing this?" Superman shirt blinked. "Listen!" He and Lewis put their ears to the door.

"Hey! My feet! I can't move my feet!"

"My feet are stuck!"

"Who did this?!"

"Somebody call the janitor! Or the cops!"

"What the-?!"

"Did somebody put glue on the tiles?!"

"Who did this?!" Duncan Matthews was heard screaming. "Somebody help us!"

"Must've been one of those Brotherhood punks!" One of the football players was heard growling. Screaming, yelling, and cursing could be heard from inside the locker room. The two nerds burst out laughing.

"Oh man, that is funny!" Superman shirt laughed.

"Evidently, someone decided to swear vengeance against the football team for some misdeed." Lewis scratched his chin in thought. "But who? This requires some investigating..."

**An Italian restaurant, in downtown Bayville**

Lance Alvers couldn't help but smirk. He placed his feet on the table, leaned back in his chair, and chuckled to himself as he witnessed the sight before him. He wished he had a camera.

_I wish I had a camera._ The mutant geokinetic mentally chuckled to himself. _A cold beer would be nice, too._ He was watching Kitty Pryde give Logan a royal verbal thrashing. "Hey garconi! Pass me a cold beer! Please." He called at a nearby waiter. The waiter chuckled and walked over to Lance.

"How old are you, son?" The waiter asked with a smirk.

"Uhm..." Lance blinked.

"I thought so, kid." The waiter chuckled. "See me in about, oh..." The waiter briefly looked the geokinetic over. "...five or six years." The chuckling waiter walked away. Lance grumbled.

"Ah, I hate smartass waiters." The geokinetic watched Kitty verbally tear into the feral mutant. Logan himself was sitting at a table, groaning and rubbing his temples.

"And another thing!" Kitty snapped. "Why do you always follow people around?! It's very annoying! And-!" Logan groaned.

"Hey waiter!" He called at the waiter that turned down Lance's alcohol order earlier. "Can you get me the strongest alcoholic drink you got?!" The waiter looked at the Canadian feral. He then looked at a yelling Kitty.

"I'll see what we got in the wine cellar, sir." The waiter told the feral mutant, walking away. Logan sighed as Kitty continued to rant at him, completely oblivious to what just occurred. Lance couldn't help but smirk.

"Hey hairball!" Lance teased. "I think karma is saying you owe a favor." The geokinetic grinned, pointing at his neck brace. Logan groaned. Kitty continued her ranting.

"Hey waiter! Can you make the alcohol come any faster?" Logan groaned.

_**Well, well, well! Looks like Logan is in for a long night! What insanity will happen next? What's up with Iron Man? Will Logan get his strong alcohol? Will Kitty forgive him? Will she go out again with Lance? Will Jean find out who put sheep in her car? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!**_

**(1) – Yes, I saw the Iron Man movie. And yes, I thought it was awesome.**


	113. A Quiet Day and A Date, Part 6!

**The Starr Chronicles**

**Disclaimer: "Bon_jourrrrrrrr,_ ye cheese eatin' surrender monkeys!" - Groundskeeper Willie, _The Simpsons_**

Chapter 113: A Quiet Day and a Date: Part 6!

**Los Angeles, California**

"I'll join you in a minute, Eddie." Ace Starr explained to the silver-dressed keyboardist. "I got me a date."

"Yeah, sure." Eddie Ulrich nodded. "But I would like to know, Aceman. Where did you find a hottie like that?"

"I'm the Ace of Hearts." Ace smirked. "She found me." He then laughed. "Now get outta here! She wants to talk to me."

"Alright, alright!" Eddie laughed as he walked away, leaving Ace to walk to the table, where one Monet St. Croix once sat. **(1)**

"Well, Monet..." Ace chuckled as he took a seat. "I see that you really don't take no for an answer."

"Who said this was a recruitment attempt?" The dark-haired young woman chuckled. "I just wanted to see you."

"Why's that?" Ace chuckled. "No offense, but I don't see you as much of a fan of that rock 'n' roll music."

"Not really..." The Monaco-born mutant girl admitted. "But I heard you were an incredible singer. And I saw that you are."

"I've been doing it since I was three." Ace shrugged. "So, what have you been up to...?" The feral mutant noticed out of the corner of his eye, a certain eyepatch-wearing man standing near the window. The man gave a slight nod to Ace. Luckily for the feral, Monet didn't notice.

"Oh, the usual stuff." She answered. "I had come to Los Angeles because I really do enjoy the beaches."

"I love the beaches, too." Ace chuckled. Ever since the young feral first noticed girls, he would occasionally spend time at the beaches, checking out the pretty girls.

"I wouldn't mind the two of us walking a beach together." Monet smirked, rubbing Ace's hand.

"That sounds like a date to me." Ace smirked back. _I feel like James Bond right now. Or Derek Flint. I've always liked those Sixties spy movies..._

**Bayville Mall, earlier that day**

"Uh..." Fred Dukes blinked. "Run that by me again?"

"It's simple, yo." Todd Tolensky explained. "You go up to the guy and start making a fuss."

"You mean, like, distract him?" Fred scratched his head. He and Toad were in the mall, and eying a hot dog cart.

"Yeah." Todd nodded.

"...what should I do?" Fred wondered. Todd shrugged.

"I dunno, yo. Do a dance, sing a song, just distract the fool!"

"I think I got something." Fred walked up to the hod dog cart guy.

"Hey kid." The man smiled.

"..." Fred blinked.

"Uh..." The hot dog cart guy blinked. "You...want a hot dog?"

"..."

"...You want a soda?"

"..."

"...You want some polish sausage?"

"Oh, that sounds good? Can I have it with relish? Oh, and a Diet Coke?" Fred asked.

"Oh, for the love of..." Todd groaned.

"Sure." The hot dog guy pulled out Polish sausage and put it in a bun with some relish. He then gave the food to the large blond-mohawked mutant.

"Hey, thanks." Fred paid the guy and enjoyed his lunch.

"Oh, for the love of flies..." Todd groaned again.

"Hey that was good." Fred grinned. "Oh, I just remembered! I had to do something!" He started marching up and down. "ATTICA! ATTICA! ATTICA!"

"Thank you, Al Pacino." Todd shook his head.

"Uh, pal? What're you doing?" The hot dog cart guy blinked.

"ATTICA! ATTICA! ATTICA!" Fred continued to chant as he marched up and down.

"Kid, what're you doing?"

"Ah, well." The amphibious young mutant shrugged. "This distraction is as good as any other." Deciding to not look a gift horse in the mouth, Todd slowly crept towards the cart.

"ATTICA! ATTICA! ATTICA!" A crowd started to gather around the large mutant.

"Are you protesting something, kid?" The hot dog cart guy started scratching his head.

"ATTICA! ATTICA! ATTICA!" As Fred chanted, Todd slowly crept up to the cart.

"I guess you saw that movie, huh?" The hot dog cart guy chuckled. The crowd started to mumble and blink in confusion.

"What is he doing?" One woman blinked.

"Maybe he's trying to raise money to get his boyfriend a sex change." A man joked. **(2)**

"Hey wait, what'd you say?!" Fred glared. "I don't swing that way. I'm distracting the hot dog guy."

"Distracting me?" The hot dog cart guy blinked.

_NOW!_ Todd screamed at himself mentally. The young amphibious mutant raced in and grabbed the cart.

"GO GO GO!" Todd yelled. "FREE HOT DOGS, WHOOOO!"

"Hey, wait!" The hot dog cart guy yelled.

"So long, sucka!" Todd whooped, racing the hot dog cart away. "Let's go, Fred!"

"Alright!" Fred whooped, running from the scene. "Free hot dogs!"

"Those sons of-!" The hot dog cart guy angrily threw down his hat and gave chase. "You punks! Give me that cart, you sons of-!"

"BWAAAAAAAAAA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

**A restaurant in Bayville**

Lance Alvers was feeling pretty good as he walked into the men's room. He walked up to the sink to wash his hands and face. While the door was open, a female voice yelling could be heard from outside.

"Dum da dee..." Lance sang to himself. A thin-haired businessman who was washing his hands in the sink next to Lance's was laughing. He looked over at the young brown-haired mutant.

"You look happy." The businessman commented.

"Yeah." Lance chuckled. "I am in a great mood."

"Why's that, if I may ask?" The businessman enquired. "On a date with your dream girl?"

"Oh yeah." Lance snickered. "I am."

"How's it going?"

"Going good. Except for a hairy idiot who tried to follow us." Lance answered.

"Wow. That must stink." The businessman blinked.

"Yeah, it was thanks to him I got this." Lance pointed at his neck brace. "I'm just grateful I didn't end up in a wheelchair. The big dumb hairball tried to follow me and my girlfriend. She caught him. And the screaming from out there?"

"Yeah?"

"...She's giving him an earful." Lance smirked.

"WAITER!" Logan was heard yelling from outside. "MORE ALCOHOL!"

"What was his deal? Couldn't be her ex, he seems far too old." The businessman shook his head.

"He's her teacher." Lance explained. "He teaches at the Xavier place."

"Oh, that school for gifted kids?" The businessman realized.

"Yeah, they're gifted alright." Lance grumbled.

"I heard that weird stuff goes down in that place." The businessman remembered. "I've even heard that there's some blue demon wandering the halls." Lance held in the snicker he had.

"Must be a ghost story or something." The geokinetic snickered. "I gotta go."

"Alright, you have fun on your date. Oh, and here's some advice, always remember to tell them you had a great time, no matter how bad it went." The businessman advised.

"Yeah, thanks." Lance shrugged as he left. He emerged to find Kitty still yelling at Logan.

"Are you listening to me?!" Kitty screeched. "Mr. Logan, are you listening to me?! I am so going to tell the Professor about you! I'm sure he would not be very happy to hear that one of his teachers is bothering one of his students on a night out!"

"Ugh..." Logan groaned, swigging a champagne bottle. He then realized it was empty. "Waiter! More champagne!"

"Sir, you can really hold your liquor, can't you?" The waiter remarked as he handed Logan another bottle of champagne.

"Unfortunately." The feral mutant grumbled.

"Man, kid." A customer snickered as he looked at Lance. "I am glad I ain't with her." Lance sighed.

"Come on, Pretty Kitty, let's go home."

_**Well, well, well! Looks like this disaster of a date is over! What insanity will happen next? What is Ace Starr up to? Will Lance and Kitty go out again? Will Logan ever recover from the verbal thrashing? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!**_

**(1) – See Chapters 83 and 84 for more on this storyline.**

**(2) – The plot of the movie _Dog Day Afternoon_, starring Al Pacino. The "ATTICA" chant is a classic moment from that movie.**


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